


Battle Cry

by Eunmih, shitty4eyes



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Action, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Character Study, Endgame Changki, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Jaegers (Pacific Rim), Kaiju (Pacific Rim), M/M, Military Science Fiction, Monsters, Post-Operation Pitfall (Pacific Rim), Robots, The Drift (Pacific Rim)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2019-12-29 18:49:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 173,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18299963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eunmih/pseuds/Eunmih, https://archiveofourown.org/users/shitty4eyes/pseuds/shitty4eyes
Summary: Long ago, legions of monstrous creatures called Kaiju arose from the sea, bringing with them all-consuming war. Humanity piloted Jaegers to fight them, two humans locked together in a neural bridge. For the ignorant and the undamaged, that was the end of it all. But now, the world is breaking itself apart and its future is in the hands of Dr. Im Changkyun.





	1. A New Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Prepare yourselves for a bunch of science talk!!! After Clean Eyes, this is what we're throwing at you, lmao. Hope you'll enjoy it!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Maybe this is luck, Captain Yoo Kihyun,” Changkyun says to an empty room. “All Rangers do is die.”

__

_The world was supposed to end five years ago._

_A breach tore itself into the world like a wound, and the Earth bled blue. It healed, but the scar remains. In cities, where buildings are dwarfed by the remains of monsters that sought to tore them down; in minds, that still remember the fear._

_We always thought alien life would come from the stars, but it came from deep beneath the Pacific..._

_  
_

  


_  
_

Changkyun stares at the screen. The words seem to stare back. “Bit dark, don't you think? For a scientific dissertation on theoretical wormhole physics?”

Nobody answers. Nobody would. Changkyun hasn’t seen another human being in the flesh in almost a year. And that’s completely fine.

He backspaces lazily until the words are gone and he puffs a breath, finishes the cold, strong dredges of his black coffee and turns back to his work. No research paper when there’s no data, after all.

There is space for that, here. More than enough. A place built for twenty now houses one. Sections are cut off out of necessity, for the same reason only Changkyun remains.

 _Kaiju._ Just the one, too. That’s all it took.

This is where it had started for him, and ended, in a way. A remote, half-destroyed research station on the northern coast of Alaska, a few miles from what used to be Juneau. Nearly forty thousand people died there, and now it is simply a memorial. They haven’t even bothered to remove the Kaiju remains, or what remains of the Jaeger that took it down.

Changkyun’s been there. Walked between the gigantic bones, seen the rust slowly breaking down what used to be one of the planet’s last lines of defence.

Because the world _was_ supposed to end five years ago. Everyone says they stopped it, outsmarted whatever was sending these monsters through into their world.

“More like delayed it,” Changkyun says to himself, pushing his glasses up his nose with a finger. He stares at his notes for a moment-- _possibility of the Alcubierre metric (energy density unstable--see negative mass equation--compare with Einstein-Rosen--gravitational collapse???--_ “Okay, but why not just--” _Because the frequency of mass isn’t sufficient with the_ \--“Yes, I know,” Changkyun grumbles, scratches at his forehead with the back of his pen. “If only I could--”

_“Life Signatures Detected.”_

Changkyun glances up at the screen. A few small, red dots on the outskirts of the compound. Moving closer. “Bears?”

_“Negative.”_

“A moose? Those things are huge.”

_“Still negative.”_

“No way,” Changkyun squints at the screen. “People?”

“ _Would appear so_.”

Changkyun will never regret reprogramming every positive answer into something sassy. In a way, it keeps him sane.

“It’s not even my birthday,” he says, reaches for his jacket--the fluffiest, least used one--and walks (more of a run, really) to the main doors. He presses on the intercom button, leans in and asks, “Password?”

 _“There are five stars worth of rank on my jacket,”_ a familiar voice says from the other side of the intercom. _“Do I really require a password? I should have clearance.”_

Changkyun releases the intercom button. “Shownu.” He glares up at thin air. “It _was_ a bear!”

A knock on the metal doors. Obviously, a fist, if it sounds this loud.

Changkyun holds in the button, even as he types in the passkey and waits for the door to unlock. “The password was ‘please’,” he adds and steps back, lets the cold wind whip at him, squinting against the flakes of snow, arms around himself like that’ll help at _all_.

There are fived ranked officers behind General Son Hyunwoo. _Fucking Pan Pacific Defense Corps._ But, with one finger pointed up, Shownu (still as tan and tall as Changkyun remembers; it’s not an imposing kind of big-ness, as much as it’s just... Comforting. Like a big ol’ teddy in a military cap) orders them to stay behind, return to the big tank-like car behind them as he steps in, thick winter coat covering him all the way down to his feet.

“Is it emotional attachment or do you like living inside a refrigerator?” Shownu asks as he takes his military cap off, dusts a few snowflakes away and looks Changkyun up and down as he closes the door. “You’ve grown. Again. Last time I saw you, you were about this big...” Shownu measures up to his own shoulder.

Changkyun narrows his eyes. “The more blood to the extremities for cooling and physical growth, the less goes to my brain.” Changkyun smiles. “Coffee?”

“Sure, why not,” Shownu smiles small, fits the military cap under his arm and locks his fingers behind his back.

Changkyun notes that Shownu looks bigger too. Must be all the protein. And lifting or whatever military people do. Changkyun simply turns to walk, though, expecting Shownu will follow (which he does, slowly).

“You never come here personally,” Changkyun says, “And when you do, you’re always complaining about the cold. Something you couldn’t just email me, then?”

“Ah, well,” Shownu chuckles but Changkyun senses some tension in his voice when he speaks again. “Pleases and emails have turned into hard commodities, my friend. As of late, mostly. You have to _mine_ for them.”

Changkyun scoffs. His first verbal conversation with someone who isn’t Jooheon over comms and this is how it goes. “Enough to send a five star miner, I suppose.”

Shownu chuckles again. “I’m afraid so…” He looks around. “What have you been working on? Still the same, unsolved issue from five years ago?”

“It’ll be your issue soon,” Changkyun grumbles. No one believed him, probably still won’t. “But actually, no. Figured out the polarities and masses ages ago, been working on your damn radiation shielding. Do you know how difficult it is to get Kevlar in Alaska? I’m working on pure theory, here.”

“Pure theory and your little connection in my ranks. Lee Jooheon, right? I know he feeds you information and materials.”

“He’s... charismatic. I can see why you keep him around… He sends me coffee.” Changkyun shrugs. “I like him.”

“Hm,” Shownu smiles, looks ahead. “You wouldn’t happen to know anything about a missing shipment of titanium then, would you?”

 _There’s a prototype downstairs that might know a thing or two_.

“Nope,” Changkyun says, though, pops the ‘p’ and turns to face Shownu as he flips on the kettle. “I mean,” Changkyun scoffs. “Who uses titanium anymore, anyway...”

“Melting point is pretty high, it can be useful. Although tungsten is the new black.” Shownu clears his throat and looks around. He seems nervous.

“Ah, my favourite. Wolfram…” Changkyun narrows his eyes, crosses his arms. “You’re going to ask me for a favour, aren’t you? You’ve got that… frown. The ‘I need to convince Changkyun about something’ frown.”

Shownu laughs, sniffles a little and nods. “A favour… Nothing as simple as that. How strong is your coffee, exactly?”

“It’s Hondurusian. What’s not so simple, then? I’m sure I can keep up.”

Shownu takes one look at Changkyun’s chair, fixes it and sits down, places the military cap over the table and looks at the screens. “I have orders to bring you with me. Today.”

Changkyun raises an eyebrow. “Orders? From _who_?”

“The Marshal,” Shownu says simply. He clears his throat and looks at Changkyun. “You’ve been…” He chuckles. “Conscripted into the Jaeger Program. So to speak.”

Despite the arctic winds outside, Changkyun knows the cold that settles in his chest has nothing to do with the weather. “I’ve told you a million times, I have no desire to be a pilot.”

“And while that saddens me to bits,” Shownu’s expression turns a little sour, “I am not here to take you in as a Ranger. You’re joining the science team.”

Changkyun takes a breath and the kettle switches off, water stilling after the boil. “I’m already part of your damn science team, just… remote. Busan, I assume?”

“It’s the most technologically advanced Shatterdome right now. And the center of most of our military operations.”

“That’s why I assumed,” Changkyun deadpans. He sighs. He’s not used to people. “You know what my requests are… Since you’ve denied them before.”

“Your own lab, a passcode, full clearance and all the equipment will be at your disposal,” Shownu smiles fake. It doesn’t even reach his eyes.

Changkyun smiles fake right back. “I suppose a cappuccino machine is pushing it?” He jokes. “So, why now, all of a sudden? The military’s always nagged at me, but you lot have never been willing to let me out from under your thumb once I’m there, which is exactly why I’ve stayed here this long. So why _now_?”

Shownu nods at the kettle. “Coffee?”

Changkyun scoffs and rolls his eyes, turns around to the counter. “Ah, classified. Sugar?”

“Please,” Shownu says. “And yes, classified. You’ll know once you’re there. But I assure you, Changkyun,” their eyes lock, “We _really_ need you. And I hope you’re close to figuring those radiation shields out. Because we’re going to need that, too.”

Changkyun tongues on the inside of his cheek, hands over the coffee and walks past him. “Give me an hour, then we can leave.”

The world was supposed to end five years ago. An hour won't kill them.

 

 

First a tank, then a plane, then a helicopter. In the latter, Changkyun starts to miss the tank. As claustrophobic as it was, it didn’t rely on the condition that the amount of mass entering the goddamn control volume needs to equal the total mass leaving it. Helicopters are _wonky._ And loud.

They hover above the Shatterdome, the enormous base of operations on the coast of Busan. What’s left of Busan, anyway. When they touch down on the runway that stretches further than Changkyun can see once on the ground, Changkyun is the first to take off the headset and throw it aside, knock insistently at the door until they let him out.

“Fucking hate those things,” he mumbles to himself, glaring back at the helicopter. The dragonflies of man-made aerial flight.

Shownu exits the helicopter and looks around. He puts his military cap on and shrugs off his winter coat. His eyes meet Changkyun’s and he walks towards him, but when he speaks, it's to someone else.

“So, did the world end while I was away?”

“No, sir.” Someone says just a few feet away from them. Changkyun looks at the unfamiliar face. It’s a good face. Pretty but handsome. Sharp features, black hair barely poking out from his hat. Army. Rank insignia? Captain. _So, a commissioned officer?_ The uniform does wonders changing ‘pretty’ into ‘pretty hot’, but that’s not exactly relevant. “But the head of the science department has another six files on your desk, due, and I quote, ASAP.”

Changkyun sighs, turns to Shownu. “I suppose that’ll be my first job? Lovely. Who needs sleep.”

Shownu smiles small at him and then nods at the other man. His uniform reads ‘YOO’ on the right side of his chest. “Thank you, Captain.”

“Sir,” the man nods and, with a quick glance at Changkyun, eyes sharp, turns to walk away.

“So,” Shownu says, gestures vaguely at the people running around, at the airplanes stationed not very far from them. “Welcome to your new home. For now.” The General motions for Changkyun to follow. “I suppose you have questions. And, since we’re here now in whatever capacity that guarantees, I have answers.”

They walk through a big gate. It’s _big._ As in, a whole tiny skyscraper could fit through there. Which, makes sense, considering the six Jaegers stationed inside, which are just small, punchy skyscrapers. Still, it’s an enormous base, and everyone seems to have somewhere to be, running places, making last minute calculations, fixing what needs to be fixed. Metallic sounds echoing through the hold.

Shownu points at a few of the Jaegers. “Mark-2, Mark-3 and another Mark-3.” That last one looks damaged, dark blue tint needing a new paint. Changkyun’s fingers almost itch with the want to get his hands on that thing. Despite everything, they are technological marvels. War? What is it good for? Technology. Building better weapons than the other guy and discovering some scientific breakthroughs ‘by accident’. “We have managed to find pilots for the first two. Just Rogue Fox left. As for the Mark-4 onwards, we already have seasoned pilots in standby.”

“Seasoned?” Changkyun raises an eyebrow. “The war ended five years ago. What have they been fighting? The Loch Ness Monster?”

“Nothing, as of yet,” Shownu chuckles. “But we found a few people, ghosts from the past, if you will, willing to get inside a Jaeger at least one last time, we hope. A shame our heroes of old have retired.” He guides them to an elevator nearby and brings out a key from his pocket. A key that signals the ‘HEADQUARTERS-BRIDGE’ little light on the display.

Shownu clears his throat and looks down as he speaks. “About a week ago, give it or take a few days, we started getting… strange readings. Both over the ghost of the first rift, in the Mariana Trench, as well as in other places around the Ring of Fire.” He glances at Changkyun. “It didn’t make sense. It still doesn't. And there are a dozen theories on my desk every day. Yet, none of them makes as much sense as yours does.”

“Wait.” Changkyun frowns. “Strange shifts in gravity? Cracks along the surface of the planet?”

Shownu nods. “We thought it was a simple plate shift. _‘The ground is moving again’_.” He sighs. “But then the readings came through. And… No one could make sense of it.”

“I don’t want to be right about this, you know,” Changkyun frowns, keeps the full extent of it to himself. He remembers the look he’d gotten the first time he tried to explain that he didn’t think it would be ‘this easy’. ‘This easy’ being the loss of millions of lives in a war they almost lost. But still, too easy. “You’re worried another breach might open.”

_It will._

“Not just one.” Shownu frowns. “Not with the numbers we’re getting.” He sighs again and turns slightly to look at Changkyun, voice low. “We’ve compared the numbers back to what we registered when the first bridge appeared. The pre-rift days were strange. Strange readings. It’s the same, Changkyun. But in various locations around the Pacific. And no one knows why. Does it mean another Breach? More than one?” Shownu asks and behind his eyes, his orders, his calm exterior, Changkyun can see the worry.

Changkyun swallows. “I’ll have to see the readings myself… You said--What was it? Rogue Fox?--still needed pilots? Find them. Sooner rather than later.”

“Ah, I was wondering if you could help with that, too.” Shownu tilts his head to the side. “If it’s not too much work.”

Changkyun groans. “For the last time, I _can’t_ make Drifting easier--it’s either you’re compatible, or you’re not. I can give you a basic percentile _reading_ but other than that--”

“I was just going to ask you to supervise the test,” Shownu teases. “Nothing out of the ordinary, my friend.”

 _Friend_.

“How many candidates?”

“Fourteen,” Shownu says. “A few of them are under my command. Others we picked through a tracking we did a few days back. A quick test, really. But those who passed, we welcomed. Both the Navy and the Air Force sent candidates.”

“Any established relationships? Siblings?” Changkyun sighs. “It’s like finding two needles in fourteen haystacks… And we don’t even know if there’s a needle in there.”

The elevator makes a sound the doors open into a corridor. It’s hectic, people walking fast with papers in hand.

Shownu tilts his head for Changkyun to follow him. “A few. I’ll have their dossiers on your desk as soon as possible.”

“Along with the six files from the science department?” Changkyun grins. “We can start with the candidates early tomorrow morning. I know you have your testing methods but…”

“I trust your judgement,” Shownu says, stopping in front of an automated (locked) door. He flicks a card over the lock reader and the door opens. Changkyun’s things are already inside, science tech along with a kettle atop a very, very neat desk. “Oh, they work fast,” Shownu chuckles, hands Changkyun the card. “This will give you top-clearance. I’ll have my Lieutenant personally deliver the files to you in the next hour. I have things to do, people to boss around. Have fun poking around here, but....” He squints. “Just don’t poke too hard, alright?”

“There’s a joke there somewhere… Mildly out of practise,” Changkyun mumbles, picks up the kettle to look at it. Is this _the same_ kettle? As the one from goddamn Alaska? Fucking military.

“Well, this is a people place,” Shownu says, “Whether you like it or not, you’ll find people wherever you go.” He points at the desk. “Your room number is on the papers. As well as the locker we designated for you. Your pager is there, too.” He shrugs and walks backwards into the corridor. “If you get lost, ask around.” And with a little teasing smile he waves and the doors close.

After poking around the lab--as hard as he likes, thank you very much--Changkyun finds his room. His bed--hard, springy, as usual. Changkyun sighs. Same kettle, same bed. At least some things never change. _  
_

 

 

Changkyun considers leaving his room to eat, but he doesn’t. He knows he’ll get used to it, but now? There are far too many people. And Changkyun is new, so he’s bound to get stared at.

Despite the odd disconnection Changkyun’s built towards others over the years, he still feels nervous at the prospect of commanding people not only older than him, but above his station, above his _rank_ , as important as that is to people in the military. It doesn’t matter how smart he is, when all anyone will see is a stranger toying with their lives.

He eats slow and on the floor next to his bed, files around him like a crescent moon. Seismic activity and odd radiation signatures; gravitational fluxes and vibrations in the surrounding areas.

Changkyun sighs, puts them aside. They’re arrows without points; Changkyun will need more data, need specific readings they wouldn’t know to search for. For now, all he can say for certain is that he wishes he wasn’t right.

He moves the readings aside to glance at the dossiers. All soldiers. As Shownu had said, from various walks of life. All seasoned and trained extensively, and all but a handful with any training in Drifting. Not that there’s much to train. As Changkyun has said, as everyone knows, _you’re either compatible, or you’re not._

One file reads _‘YOO, KIHYUN’._ Changkyun remembers the sharp features of the Captain they’d met outside. Both parents in the military; _deceased; former Rangers._ Military carrier, nothing out of the ordinary. A few extraordinary mentions but that’s it. And a note at the end; _Drift test results: 78 drops, 5 kills._ Which… is bad.

A good soldier doesn’t always mean a good pilot. Throughout the rest of the dossiers, they average much, much higher.

“Maybe this is luck, Captain Yoo Kihyun,” Changkyun says to an empty room. “All Rangers do is die.” _  
_

 

 

Changkyun stands next to Shownu, dwarfed by both rank and size. Shownu has a… presence. Like he demands attention without saying a word. It’s an amazing quality to have.

So, when he talks it’s not that harsh, military tone Changkyun would have expected. He talks, and they listen. The candidates in front of them don’t even stray their eyes. All looking front. As expected of soldiers. The way Changkyun wears a white coat, as expected of a scientist.

“That being said,” Shownu continues, voice a lot stronger now. He motions with his head at Changkyun. “Dr. Im is here today to assist with the tests. His word is my word. What he says is your law. So, behave.”

True enough, though, the candidates look at Changkyun like famished dogs ready to pounce on a cat.

Changkyun bows his head a little. He looks to Shownu, as if asking for permission to speak. The nerves still sit a bit heavy in his chest, but he knows what he’s talking about, is confident in his intelligence and that always helps.

Shownu nods slightly with a reassuring smile and gives a slight step back, as if not to overshadow Changkyun.

Changkyun takes a deep breath, glances once more at the crowd before taking a small step forward, pushing his glasses up with his index finger.

“I’m sure you have all trained incredibly hard to be where you are now. Unfortunately, there is no training when it comes to the Drift. It all comes down to the compatibility of you, and your pilot. Your thoughts will be theirs, and theirs will be yours. You will trust them with your life, and you will have to.” Changkyun takes another breath, holds his own hands behind his back so nobody will see them shake. “The stronger the connection--” his eyes find a sharp face in the crowd. “The stronger you fight. That said, today’s tests won’t be the usual, what you’ve prepared for or experienced before. I’m sure some of you might think me a bit… eccentric. If you wish to question my credentials or knowledge on this subject, I assure you, you can’t.”

A few soldiers shift a little, clearly uncomfortable. Others just narrow their eyes a little.

“Good. Nothing out there will be what you expect. Get used to it.” Changkyun looks to Shownu. “Anything else?”

Shownu chuckles and shakes his head. “I just think you’d give a fine officer. But go on. And to you, candidates. Best of luck.” Changkyun is probably the only one who hears Shownu add, “Whatever you define as luck,” under his breath.

Changkyun scoffs, clears his throat and speaks up again. “Guess we’ll just… Do it right here.” _That’s what she said._ “Form two equal lines, facing each other.” Is he supposed to say ‘please’? He’s speaking formally. That ought to do.

The soldiers look between each other for a few seconds and then comply.

“At the count of three, keep eye contact. You can blink, but the person who breaks eye contact first, take a step back.”

Out of the seven pairs, none remain looking at each other for too long. After twenty seconds, the remaining pair breaks eye contact, both at the same time.

Changkyun sighs, sits down on the small stage. “Keep it going until everyone has been paired up with everyone else. Shouldn’t take long, at this rate…”

It’s not all that hard to notice that whoever pairs up with Yoo Kihyun, breaks eye contact before the five second mark. And the frown on the man’s face is either the result or the cause for it. The others do more or less okay. Just not good enough.

“Captain Yoo,” Changkyun says, then, motions for him to come closer.

It’s a bit reluctantly, it seems, the way that the Captain walks closer. He eyes a few of the others and then his eyes settle on Changkyun’s.

Changkyun keeps them there. He sees it, the wall behind the man's eyes. “How do you expect,” he starts, eyes locked. “To Drift with another human being if you can’t even look them in the eye.”

Yoo Kihyun frowns, jaw tense for a moment before he speaks. “And that’s my fault? I wasn’t the one who looked away.”

“It’s your fault if they don’t feel comfortable looking you in the eyes.” Changkyun scoffs, still doing… just that. “The eyes aren’t the windows to the soul, they’re the doors. It goes both ways.”

“With all due respect,” the Captain almost spits the words, “I don’t see how ‘soul’ and eye-contact have anything to do with fighting sea monsters.”

Changkyun narrows his eyes. “I think that’s the problem.” Changkyun pushes himself up, then, breaks eye contact only when he needs to look over at the other soldiers. It makes his stomach turn, just a little. _How many seconds was that?_ “As far as I’m concerned, none of you are Drift compatible. Go find a tank, or a gun or… something.” And turns to leave.

“What, that’s it?” Someone questions.

“What the fuck was this?” Someone else asks.

“Eye-yoga, apparently,” Yoo Kihyun scoffs.

Changkyun stops, tongues at his cheek before he turns around, eyes narrowed. “My word is the General’s. Are you questioning it?”

Yoo Kihyun bites both lips in, eyes narrowing a little. He glances away, though. “No, sir.”

Changkyun almost scoffs. No one’s called him sir, before. He sighs, though, walks forward and speaks up. “Like I said, I know you all have trained hard… But I know more about the Drift than… Well, anyone. If I say none of you are compatible with each other, I mean it.” And he might regret this, but they deserve this much. “Any questions?”

The soldiers look between each other with a variety of expressions going between confusion and disgust. Yoo Kihyun, however, just keeps looking away.

Changkyun looks over to Shownu. “Any other candidates?”

Shownu looks up and sighs. “No. Unfortunately. But we’ll keep looking.” He nods. “Thank you for your help.” And Changkyun hears Yoo Kihyun scoff. Shownu quickly looks at him. “Anything funny you’d like to share with the rest of us? _Captain.”_

“No, sir,” Yoo Kihyun says with a salute.

“Then you are dismissed.” Shownu says and looks at the others. “You’re all dismissed.”

Changkyun steps off the small stage, in step next to Shownu.

“So,” Changkyun says like he’s commenting on the weather. “They all hate me now.”

“Welcome to the military,” Shownu chuckles.

 

 

 _‘If you get lost, ask’_. So he does. The Kaiju Research Department is in the east wing, distressingly close to the cafeteria. It smells like ammonia.

Changkyun knocks on the door, once, twice, hears something fall and clatter to the floor. When it slides open, a man, blonde, not much taller than Changkyun with the widest grin and one of the most aesthetically pleasing faces Changkyun has seen in his entire life just... _beams_ at him.

“You!” The man exclaims, hands and containment suit dirtied with blue blood as he steps forward to hug Changkyun. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you!” He says excitedly then, taking a few steps back. “Come in, come in!”

Changkyun does, a little hesitant, a smile threatening at his lips. “You must be Lee Minhyuk?”

“Last time I checked? I was still Lee Minhyuk,” he smiles and then gestures around at the lab. “Welcome to _mi casa!”_

“Ah,” Changkyun smiles, glancing around. “Your _casa_ has Kaiju entrails on the floor…” With how well they’re preserved, that must be the ammonia smell… “Finally meet me, though? I haven’t even introduced myself…”

People. So not used to people...

Minhyuk’s smile doesn’t dim, not even one bit. “Dr. Im Changkyun, correct? I know things. Big fan of your parents, me.”

Changkyun blinks. “My parents? Right, the--the Drift research,” Changkyun nods. “Of course you would…”

“I have,” Minhyuk starts then, very sudden, reaching for Changkyun’s arm and pulling him closer as they walk through the lab. Changkyun’s heart jumps for a moment. He hasn’t touched another human being in almost a year. There are very few people around and no one seems to pay the two of them an ounce of attention, though. “Been charged with studying the two later Kaiju specimens to attack, Otachi and Leatherback. As you _obviously_ know! They possessed unique biological weaponry, such as acidic and electromagnetic discharges. Interesting right!? The closest we have on Earth are the spitting cobra and the electric eel.”

Changkyun nods. “Clearly adapting incredibly well. Same genotype but with the varying phenotypes, the clones can differentiate to fit the challenges presented. Fastest case of evolution I’ve ever seen so... must be artificial.”

“Clearly!” Minhyuk shakes Changkyun a bit. “Now here’s my theory! Although by the time we lay eyes on them they are already fighting a Jaeger or are, well, dead--” Minhyuk speaks fast, “Superficial skin a little damaged from rubbing against buildings mayhaps? _Irrelevant._ My theory! After studying a rare sample of skin from Leatherback, I have found remnants of old, healed scar tissue. Which means! There must be a selection process. Either they’re just wild and hard to control even in their own homeworld, or!” Minhyuk stops and holds Changkyun by both shoulders, Changkyun a little wide eyed but amused. “They are pitted against each other. Like gladiators. And the survivor is thrown at us.”

“Oh,” Changkyun laughs. “Kay. Right, so--have you done any carbon dating? Or silicone dating, considering they’re silicone-based... If they have healed scar tissue, they should have had time to heal, right?”

Minhyuk grins. “And what advanced race with powerful and advanced bioengineering wouldn't have found a way to quickly heal tissue?”

“They’re clones,” Changkyun frowns. “What would be the point?”

“Because even papercuts can get in the way!” Minhyuk throws his arms up dramatically. “Gladiators were treated as kings! They gave them gold, the best food and then pitted them against each other! It’s obviously the same for these walking biological weapons.” He pauses. “Of course, gladiators were at least pretty. _Ugh_. Kaijus are so ugly.” Minhyuk sighs, like a man praising his prised racing horse, “I love them.”

Changkyun laughs, a little under his breath. “Riddle me this, then,” Changkyun asks. He’s not used to this, but he likes it. Minhyuk is clearly very smart, and doesn’t seem to mind Changkyun being smart, too. “Why would a Kaiju have an EMP if other Kaiju are purely organic? Wouldn’t help them win; it’s a evolutionary adaptation specific to our Jaegers. The digital ones, anyway.”

Minhyuk squints and then shrugs. “Could have been added after. Besides, Leatherback was like a big rino going rampage. Maybe the EMP was aimed at us. Maybe there were various EMP creations. The strongest was sent our way.” He blinks so fast it becomes hilarious.

“Your eyelids are gonna fly away, dude.”

“I’ve had six coffees in the past three hours.”

“Impressive. Wanna share and talk anteverse radiation?”

Minhyuk gasps. “Would love to! Come this way, come this way! Do you like Espresso? I’ve got some fine Arabic--” _  
_

 

 

Between the military operations and the science team, Changkyun has his hands tied. It’s busy and in turn, _he’s_ busy. He has his own calculations to make and yet everyone needs favours here and there. So, it comes with no surprise when Shownu asks Changkyun to give the candidates another chance with the excuse that ‘everyone has bad days’. Which makes Changkyun roll his eyes because either they were collectively in syntony with the moon phases or they just, simply put, are not cut to be Rangers.

Still, Shownu can be very persuasive when he wants to.

So, Changkyun decides to humour them; give them the tests they trained for. Shownu suggests one of the other Rangers, a pilot of Tempest Echo, to stand with Changkyun and keep score. She, Shownu assures, is the best at sparring that he’s ever seen.

She’s much shorter than Changkyun, Korean, blonde hair just above her shoulders, goes by the name of ‘Dami’, and calls out numbers as the candidates spar.

“Four to one,” she says, confirms what Changkyun already knows. But when the candidates bow, turn to leave, they look less… miffed. Like they trust _that_ above what Changkyun told them. _Honestly._

Shownu is not here this time, however. So, the looks Changkyun keeps getting (which are probably meant to look threatening) have a purpose.

Yoo Kihyun is the only one who seems to keep it to himself. Also the only one with a strange looking tattoo on his right forearm. At first Changkyun thinks it’s some creepy handwriting. But no. They’re just lines. Like someone spilled ink over his skin and let it run up his arm, all the way up to his elbow, in strange but yet intriguingly beautiful patterns.

Changkyun looks away. There’s a nagging feeling at the back of his head--he’s never one to ignore fact, but sometimes he will, if it’s too personal to address--but all he thinks is, _‘Maybe it’s luck_.’

“Captain Yoo,” Dami calls out without looking up. “Cheng Xiao.”

Yoo Kihyun shifts a little as he side-glances at the girl who steps forward. He steps forward as well, leans down to pick up the sparring stick. He twirls it between his fingers to make it spin a little as he takes his place in the ring.

Changkyun can see it, that fierce determination. And it’s even more obvious when the girl Kihyun’s fighting drops her stick. Either they’re scared of him. Or Yoo Kihyun exerts a lot of pressure. And he doesn’t really seem to mind that his ‘opponent’ looks at him and averts her eyes. He still looks at her like he’s going to kick her ass anyway.

Which he does. Unfairly, somehow, in three moves that she barely manages to counter.

“That’s enough,” Changkyun says when Dami says, “Two to one.”

They stop, the girl bows to turn away and Yoo Kihyun is already glaring at Changkyun. Kihyun glances away though, bows at thin air and returns to the line.

And again, the most promising results aren’t _good enough_. Changkyun sighs, turns to Dami as he presses at his temples. “Was it this hard when you were a candidate?”

Dami smiles. It’s a naturally small smile, small lips and full cheeks. “Seola and I? No, it was obvious.”

Changkyun scoffs. “Sounds like some good times I missed…” And bows politely in a goodbye, a gesture Dami returns before Changkyun walks the familiar path back to his lab.

It’s in a corridor, with lockers on either side, that Changkyun sees Kihyun again. What is it about this one soldier…?

Kihyun is pulling his uniform over his shoulders, covering the black tanktop and the tattoo on his arm as he buttons it up. There’s something vaguely distant about the way he’s looking at nothing. At his locker? Maybe.

Perhaps more than the others, Changkyun can tell Kihyun is taking this… badly. Then again, it can’t be easy.

Changkyun wants to just walk past, back to his blackboard full of equations that feel more familiar to him than any person he’s had to talk to, than this position he’s had to fill. But he stops, for some reason, just as he passes.

“Perhaps you should… Look at other options,” Changkyun says, tries to be gentle. He thinks he’s forgotten how.

The sound of the locker slamming shut startles him.

“Excuse me..?” Kihyun is looking at him. Like, really looking at him. With eyes that scream ‘excuse me’ even louder.

Changkyun sighs. This was a mistake. “There are a lot of other important jobs in this war, there’s no need for you to try to attempt the impossible. I’ve seen your scores, the way the other candidates act around you. It would be in your best interest to look at other options.”

Kihyun takes a step closer and he is, quite literally, in Changkyun’s personal bubble. “And what would _you_ know about it?” He says, almost between gritted teeth, before he bumps against Changkyun’s shoulder and walks away.

“So,” Changkyun says to himself. “That went well.”

“Aw, don’t mind him!” says a familiar voice. “He’s got this massive stick up his ass. You see, they fit them in there when you join the ranks.”

Changkyun blinks, processing, turns around-- “Shit, no way-- _Jooheon_?”

“Hey there,” Jooheon grins, “Lil’ brother.”

Jooheon looks exactly like what Changkyun had imagined. Black hair, small, kind eyes, a long-ish face and dimples for days. It’s an odd feeling, to want to just…

Changkyun holds out his arms and walks forward, and Jooheon laughs as he pulls him into a hug. Changkyun doesn’t consider many relationships in his life to mean much, but Jooheon is the closest thing to a best friend he thinks he could have.

“Sorry, needed a hug...”

“Aw, it’s okay,” Jooheon pats Changkyun’s back. “I was wondering why I hadn’t seen you yet. Then I remembered you’re like a hermit. So, I came to see you.” He leans back and smiles a little. “Had no idea you were friends with Captain _Stern_.”

“I’m not a _hermit_ ,” Changkyun frowns, knows he probably is, a bit. “And I’m not friends with him, he…” Changkyun gestures, sighs. “I have no idea how to talk to people anymore, I swear…”

“Well,” Jooheon puts an arm around Changkyun’s shoulder and walks with him. “Usually, with words, you know? Words help. Or sign language.”

“Ha ha, funny,” Changkyun rolls his eyes, leans a little into him. It’s warm. “I had to, like… Vet these candidates for drifting and I’m pretty sure they all kind of hate me, but _especially_ \--” Changkyun points at the end of the hall, where Kihyun had disappeared off into. “Captain Stern.”

Jooheon snorts a laugh. “Ah, yes. These guys are proud, Kyun. And they take rank and pride very seriously. So, you? An unranked nerdy guy telling them they’re not fit for duty? It’s like poking at caged, hungry lions.”

“Did you just call me an unranked nerdy guy?” Changkyun pushes up his glasses, which probably just proves the point. “Not like I didn’t know that but still. I can be… Cool. If I wanted to be…”

“Just between the two of us,” Jooheon leans in closer to whisper, “Military war dogs don’t think numbers and a high IQ equal being cool. Unless you can walk your way out of a fist-fight? You’re uncool.” He pats at Changkyun’s back. “It’s fine, though. I’m the comms guy. That’s like at the bottom of the cool-guys list.”

“Ah, so that’s why you spent so much time talking to me.”

“Yes, well, it can get pretty boring up there in the comms room.” Jooheon shrugs and then, like a shift of axis, grins. “So, are you showing me your batcave?”

Changkyun laughs. “Only if I get to call you Robin.” _  
_

 

 

Changkyun tongues at the sore in his mouth. _Charming._

His mouth still tastes like toothpaste and when he’d stood up this morning, the world had gone black for a moment. _Iron deficiency._ Maybe even what could be considered a teasing of scurvy. He’s fully aware it’s because he’s not exactly nourished at the moment, but the prospect of having dinner in the commons among a bunch of soldiers doesn’t appeal to him either.

“Perhaps if you knew how to talk to actual human beings?” Changkyun questions his reflection. It just looks back at him. Of course. “See, this is why I don’t get anywhere. Useless conversation, you are.”

Changkyun sighs. He’s not sure if he misses it, only having machines and the occasional call from Jooheon, but he was _used_ to that. He had to be, otherwise he would have gone insane after Jeanu fell and took what constituted his life with it.

When Changkyun leaves his lab, the doors lock with a loud mechanical click. He’s been told his lab coat is like his uniform. And he’s never seen anyone here _out_ of uniform. It bothers him in a way he can’t really pinpoint; it’s solidarity, yes, but there’s a lack of… Individuality.

Another mistake. A common one, too. People think they’ll connect better in the Drift if they’re as similar as possible, but that’s never been true. Yin and yang look completely different, after all. Two identical poles, magnets or not, repel each other, after all.

He takes a small breath, arms coming up around him as he walks into the cafeteria. Soldiers. Everywhere. And as much bravado as he might have on a stage, when he’s ‘in charge’, this is… different.

 _Hide. Be quiet and make yourself small, then you’ll be safe_.

Service members share a strong sense of pride, honor and integrity (in theory). The reality is, however, bleak, when pride, honor and integrity cannot be applied on a battlefield. They’re a bunch of soldiers, full of energy, ready to pounce. And they smell prey like sharks smell blood in the ocean.

Changkyun doesn’t look up, just in case, glasses on the tip of his nose. The lady dishing out food smiles at him so he smiles back, takes what looks like--oh god, how long has it been since he had pumpkin? Meat?

“Thank you,” he says, sincerely, smiles again and wonders if he can just… go. Take this to his room. There’s a sign on the wall, however, that says he can’t. So he finds a corner table and sits down, wants to eat fast but the food tastes so nice he can’t help but savour it.

There are a few eyes on him. And he hears quite a few scoffs, sees a few headshakes. It’s like high school all over again. Except this time he’s not just invisible or evacuating (it’s what he spent most of the time doing, whenever a Kaiju attacked). This time he’s the newbie. The newbie that’s ordering everyone around. It feels like having a luminescent target painted on his back. And now these big headed idiots have someone to pick on instead to arguing between each other.

_Typical._

Still, Changkyun didn’t expect anyone to actually own up to it, pick up the apple on his tray and take a bite as they plop down on the chair in front of him.

An American guy, by the looks of it. U.S.A. little flag sewed to his right pocket. A Second lieutenant by the looks of it. Older than Changkyun. Surely.

“Hey doc,” the man says in English. That accent… Texas?

Maybe it would be best to just pretend he can’t speak English. But then again, all official statements are to be done in English, what with the multicultural environment that comes from needing the best of the best wherever they can find them.

“Hey,” Changkyun just says back, shifts his eyes down.

“Heard you’re fixin’ to vet the wannabe Rangers?” The man asks, looks at the apple as he chews. “Or wait.” He pauses. “Didn’t that happen already? And you,” he points at Changkyun with an amused look on his face, “Failed them all. How great is that.”

Indignation bubbles up, just enough to say, “Insufficiency doesn’t lie with the accessor. Not my fault they’re not Drift compatible.”

“‘Cause you know all ’bout that, don’t ya?” The man takes another bite from the apple. Changkyun’s apple, actually. Semantics.

Changkyun frowns, looks up. “More than you.” More than most. Was this guy part of the candidates…? He doesn’t look familiar. But then again...

“So what,” the man clears his throat, crosses his arms over the table and stares at Changkyun. “You invented the stuff? Is that it? Is that your secret? Why the General treats ya like some big, important guy?” He gestures at himself and at the table behind him where a group of guys is staring at them. “We’re curious. How a little kid such as yourself, gets to order _us_ around.” He bites the apple again and chews, unimpressed face, eyes on Changkyun’s. “Are ya like, super smart? Or did you fuck your way inside?”

Changkyun flushes. _What_?!

“The first one,” Changkyun bites back, glances down at the food he hasn’t gotten to yet. God, he’s hungry. He doesn’t want to just leave but this guy looks like he’s two brain cells away from lashing out. “Why, did you?”

The guy grins and points at Changkyun as he laughs a little. “Ah, you’re funny. Bless your heart.” He turns dead serious a second later, though, and leans over the table as he gets up. “Careful, boy. We didn’t work our asses off for you, a choir boy, to step all over our sweat and act like you can boss us around.”

Changkyun narrows his eyes. If there’s one thing he _hates_ , it’s American soldiers. “Remind me, my English is a little rusty,” Changkyun lies. “What’s that word again..? Insubordination? Sound familiar? Or is six syllables stretching it a bit?”

The guy’s eyebrow twitches and the slams the apple over the table, makes Changkyun's tray jump a little to the side. But when he opens his mouth to talk, someone talks over him.

“Is there a problem?” Yoo Kihyun asks. In... Korean _._ He’s about a whole ten meters away, but the American guy towers over him the moment he straightens up.

Even so, the soldier just makes a face for a moment and then says, in English, “No, sir.”

“Hope not,” Kihyun says, eyes on the guy, watching him walk back to his table. Kihyun glances at Changkyun, then, and turns around without another word.

“Thanks,” Changkyun mumbles to his plate. He’s getting a bit tired of just talking to himself.

 

 

Drifting is a type of Mind Meld. It requires the pilots, entitled Rangers as they might be, to share their memories, instincts and emotions. It allows them to act as one and control the very movement of the Jaeger itself. One pilot controls the right hemisphere, the other the left hemisphere. Unlike with humans, though, where left hemisphere coordinates the right side of the body and the right hemisphere coordinates the left side of the body, Jaegers are a lot simpler.

Developing a scale for the strength of the Drift, though? It’s a bit subjective. But Changkyun finally got it down with a rather simple algorithm that has a median for each synchronization point.

“So essentially,” Changkyun explains, hefting a pile of wires into Minhyuk’s arms. “It’s a paired neurofeedback reader. The closer the brain waves are to synchronization, the higher the percentile will be for the Drift.” Changkyun bends down to rummage in the drawers, then. Where’s that damn coupling?  

The intercom makes a click sound.

 _“So,”_ Jooheon clears his throat, there seems to be a bit of static but it subdues as Jooheon speaks, _“What about the dominant pilot? The one on the right? Does this take that into accountability? Or…”_

“Yep!” Changkyun chirps. “Like I said, median. It’s not about dominance, it’s about--Ah, here it is--” he picks up the coupling, weighs it in his hand. “Balance.”

“We programmed it to measure the Neural Handshake,” Minhyuk says, voice strained as he tries to find a place to put down all those cables. Changkyun gets up stops him, though, to which Minhyuk pouts and frowns. “The Drift in itself is more of a… R.A.B.I.T. thing that they have to control. Not just their own but their partner’s as well.”

_R.A.B.I.T. Is that what they call the Random Access Brain Impulse Triggers? Cute. Makes sense._

“That is reliant on the bond,” Changkyun says, throws a few more cables over his shoulder, checks the equipment in his hand-- _red light, good, ironically_ \--and gestures at Minhyuk to follow him. “What I’m trying to do here is just… Assess compatibility. Because apparently the damn soldiers they’ve got here don’t want to take the word of someone far smarter than them.”

 _“Hey,”_ Jooheon chirps over the intercom, _“Think my dog and I are Drift compatible?”_

Minhyuk scoffs a laugh, follows after Changkyun.

“Could be,” Changkyun laughs as well.

“Hey,” Minhyuk grins, “We should give the Jaegers tails so Jooheon and dog can chase ‘em.”

 _“Did you just compare me to my dog?”_ Jooheon asks, clearly offended. _“I don’t chase after my own ass.”_

“Oh, right, you chase after mine,” Minhyuk laughs as they walk.

Jooheon chokes on something. Minhyuk grins even wider.

“This way,” Changkyun says, walking faster. “Hey, since when do you have a boyfriend, Joo? Thought we shared everything.”

“Everything?” Minhyuk gasps.

Changkyun blinks slowly at him. “Not you, though.”

“Darn.”

 _“He’s not my boyfriend,”_ Jooheon says, clears his throat. _“He’s just…”_ He coughs like he’s choking on something again.

“A colourful friend,” Minhyuk chirps. “Also, these cables are heavy. Why am I carrying way more than you, Changkyun?”

Changkyun takes a handful of cables without looking. “Ah. Maybe that’s why all those soldiers are so tense. Lack of colourful friends.”

 _“Talking about ‘tense’,”_ Jooheon says lowly between gritted teeth, _“Guess who just walked in.”_

“What, is Hyungwon back already?” Minhyuk asks, as heavy steel doors open with Changkyun’s passcode. The question echoes in the big space, between the sounds of welding and talk. Changkyun looks up and knows he’ll never get used to the size of these things, Jaegers. Even Rogue Fox, the smallest of the three, towers above them. A whole two hundred and sixty feet. Seventy nine point twenty five meters tall. Fucking stunning.

 _“Hyungwon is back,”_ Jooheon confirms, whispering, _“And Captain Stern is with him. So, yeah. That’s the situation up here.”_

“Those two are on speaking terms?” Minhyuk asks. “I’ll pray for you.”

“Wait, Chae Hyungwon?” Changkyun asks. “Is his co-pilot back, too? Lee Hoseok, was it?”

 _“Catching up with the General and the Marshal,”_ Jooheon explains. _“That’s why these two are here, waiting. If looks could kill. Pretty sure Captain Yoo shoots laser beams out of his eyes. I haven’t seen it yet, but it’s a theory I intend to prove.”_

“Hm!” Minhyuk grins. “Maybe I could dissect him! Apply this miraculous skill of his to the Jaegers.”

“Pretty sure his ass produces diamonds,” Changkyun grumbles. “I keep _running_ into him. Jooheon might be right about those lasers...”

 _“I’m always right,”_ Jooheon defends quickly. _“I might not have a title behind my name but I’m smart.”_

“Yes you are, honey,” Minhyuk scoffs. “Yes, you are.”

“Excuse me,” a man, probably mid-forties, can’t really afford to be frowning that much, says with a hand held out as Changkyun makes for the lift up to the Jaeger. Tempest Echo, was it? “What are you doing?”

Changkyun blinks. “My job.” He holds up a wire.

“Are you part of the Engineering team?” The man frowns. Really needs to stop doing that. “I haven’t seen you around here and you look like you just walked out of a science lab.”

“I did.” Changkyun frowns right back. “How is that relevant?”

Minhyuk peeks from behind a bunch of cables. “Aish, leave the guy alone.”

“I clearly had the passcode to get in here, so if you don’t mind...” Changkyun says, stepping on the lift and motioning for Minhyuk to follow, the man just watching the carefully.

“These people are so uptight,” Minhyuk grumbles.

 _“This equipment is millions if not near billions of dollars worth,”_ Jooheon says. _“They have a point. Can’t just let anybody go tinker around.”_

“Since when are we just ‘anybody’?” Minhyuk grumbles. “This is torture, you know? They’re always picking on the science guys.”

“Wuss,” Changkyun smiles, shrugs. “You get used to it... Or, Captain Stern decides to be nice and tell them to piss off. Weird things happen.”

“Well, he’s got a smooth skin,” Minhyuk mumbles. “Patched him up once. It was actually how we met. I told him he looked tiny for a soldier and he told me to fuck off. It was great! Bonding… Love bonding.”

_“Speaking of ‘bonding’, didn’t you and Changkyun spend three hours talking about Kaiju DNA?”_

“And it was _great_.”

Changkyun smiles, steps off the lift and into the Jaeger. It’s been… Years, since he’s actually been inside one of these. Again, all theory, when you’re working from hundreds of miles away.

 _“Are you guys inside?”_ Jooheon asks, laughs a little. _“I’ve got the console ready for calibration.”_

“Great!” Changkyun says, snaps himself out of his mild reverie--Changkyun’s never been claustrophobic, but people die in this room, if they’re not careful. Not _now,_ since the thing is the giant robot equivalent of parked, but they might have, and they certainly will. “Min, hand me the copper wires?” Changkyun says, walking over to the wall and opening the Drift circuits, has to heave a big-ass plate of metal, too.

“Copper, copper, copper… Copper!” Minhyuk beams at the cable and then hands them over.

 _“You know,”_ Jooheon mumbles. _“This is the busiest I’ve been in weeks. This job is boring as fuck.”_

“You don’t wish to get busy, honey,” Minhyuk sighs. “When you get busy, it means trouble for the rest of the world.”

_“True enough.”_

“Sure you two can keep each other busy, if you need to,” Changkyun says, squinting through his glasses at the circuitry, takes the one coupling out of his pocket and blows at it before connecting it to the wire.

“Feel free to join, if that’s what you’re into,” Minhyuk says.

_“Jesus! Minhyuk!”_

“It’s not,” Changkyun laughs, watches the circuitry light up for a moment. Good sign. “But thanks for the offer.”

_“Please, never repeat that again. Kyun is like my little brother.”_

“Noted,” Minhyuk chirps. “Is Shownu like your dad, then? Sure he could use some down time, if you know what I mean.”

“Unfortunately, I do,” Changkyun says.

 _“I know what Captain Stern does on his days off,”_ Jooheon mumbles. _“Uses the stick up his ass to beat people up...”_

“Oh, thank God,” Minhyuk laughs. “For a second I thought you were going to say _he’s_ keeping the General busy. That’s not an image anyone wants in their head.”

 _“Now that you mention,”_ Jooheon hums. _“He does smile a lot more when the General is around…”_

“I smile more when you’re around,” Changkyun says, winces a little when the circuitry sparks at the connection. “Means we’re friends, not that we want to--you know.”

“The word you’re looking for is ‘bang’,” Minhyuk says, helpfully.

_“Yes, thank you, Minhyuk.”_

“Are you getting any readings?” Changkyun asks. “Should be picking it up by now.”

 _“There is a little soundbar going up and down on the screen,”_ Jooheon says. _“You playing music over there, my man?”_

“It should say zero percent,” Changkyun laughs, hefting the metal plate up again. “The ‘soundbar’ will stabilise when there’s actually someone _using_ the Drift. If you can get any of the pilots to test it out, that’ll be great.”

 _“One second,”_ Jooheon says and Changkyun still hears a, _“Hey, Hyungwon--”_ before the line cuts.

“Oh,” Minhyuk says excitedly, “This will be grand! Watch them start measuring dicks with their Drift percentages. _‘Mine is bigger than yours!’”_

Changkyun laughs. “Oh, god, what have I done…”

 

 

The comms room. Also referred to as the Bridge, has a big-ass window of glass between them and the Jaegers stationed just outside. From all the way up here, people look tiny down there. Like little ants, running around.

“Can we try again?” Dami asks, some sweat on her face, hair falling from a loose bun and sticking to her cheeks. The testing electrode helmet is slipping off just a little.

“Ugh,” the blonde girl, Dami’s co-pilot, Seola, makes a face. She’s pretty, and it’s like a breath of fresh air that the tips of her long hair are dyed blue. There’s that individuality within conditioned military uniformity. “I can feel the electrodes sticking to my skin. Is it usually this hot? Or is it just me?”

“They’re working on the aircon,” Jooheon smiles. Ever charismatic.

“It’s not about trying again, it’s about figuring out where you stand,” Changkyun says, turns in his chair, readings on the screen behind him. “Seventy two percent is really good, you should be happy.”

“When you say it like that,” Seola grumbles, “It doesn’t make me happy at all.”

Changkyun smiles, shakes his head. “You two are relatively new at this. It’ll increase the stronger your bond. That’s the whole point of this, after all.”

Dami just pouts, fiddles with her sleeve.

“Seriously,” Changkyun repeats. “This was good.”

“The stronger the bond,” Seola blabs, “The stronger the link, the stronger you fuck shit up, I get it. Who would have guessed this was just a glorified dating service. Oh! Look! We match!” She turns to point at the other two rangers. Hyungwon and Hoseok. “Is that how it went with you two?”

Hyungwon scoffs. Changkyun barely knows him--tall, deceptively skinny, face expressive but movements lazy. “We dated _before_ the military decided to mess around in our heads.”

“We also broke up because of it, so it’s not all rainbows and unicorns,” Hoseok, shorter than Hyungwon but beefy, all soft-edges, chuckles, glances away. “But it works. It’s about trust.”

“And besides,” Jooheon adds. “You and the General were never romantically involved.” A pause. “Were you?”

Hoseok frowns. “What? No. Where did that come from..?”

“Just asking! See?” Jooheon looks to Seola. “Not a dating service. Brothers and sisters also tend to be Drift compatible. Parents and kids, too. Not inherently romantic.”

“There’s nothing romantic about having someone inside your head,” Hyungwon says with an exuberant roll of his eyes. “A strong bond doesn’t mean you have to be joined to the hip. It just means chemistry, mixed with what you go through together. How much you decide to let someone else in, blah blah.”

Changkyun gestures to one of the big Jaegers outside; Paladin Jinx. “Wanna see just how much you two trust each other, then? Seventy two is the number to beat.”

Dami smacks Changkyun lightly across the head, even as she smiles. Changkyun has spotted Dami a few times, in near impossibly high to reach places, with a book. Either she’s sparring or she’s reading. Hell, Changkyun’s even seen her read a book about sparring. He likes her; she stands her ground but keeps to herself.

“Alright, let’s see that percentage,” Hoseok smiles gestures at Dami to hand him the testing helmet. She seems glad to do it and Changkyun doesn’t blame her, those things are uncomfortable.

Hyungwon takes Seola’s helmet and starts adjusting it. “I’ll be happy if we score above sixty. I know we can do good out there so I’m not really worried about a stupid number.”

“And yet, with the candidates we have, we’ll be lucky if they get above ten…” Changkyun grumbles.

They get 78%. Despite what Hyungwon had said about his attitude towards the ‘stupid number’, he’s still unbearably smug.

“Not bad,” Hoseok agrees with a loud laugh, slowly pulling the helmet off his head. “Someone should clean these…”

“Oops,” Jooheon says, suddenly turning to the console and pressing a bunch of random buttons. “Captain on deck,” he whispers, “I repeat, Captain on deck. If anyone asks, I’m busy. Working. Pressing buttons. Yep.”

And indeed, Yoo Kihyun walks in to drop a few folders on a table just a few feet away.

“Who shat in your coco pops this morning?” Hyungwon asks, hand running through his hair, fluffing it up from where the helmet had pushed it down. “Oh, wait, you always look like that…”

Kihyun looks up from the folders and frowns. Frowns even more when the girls snort a laugh.

“Would be a lot better if I didn’t have to see you so often,” Kihyun says, closes one of the files he had just opened. Changkyun notices the wandering eyes that land on the numbers on the display. But Kihyun’s expression remains the same when he looks at Hyungwon again. “Not bad…”

“The General told you about this, then?” Hoseok asks, head tilting to the screen. “Should make it easier to vet the candidates.”

“Don’t see why waste time on that when,” Kihyun looks at Changkyun, expression unreadable, “We have an expert now.”

“Nice to see you admitting I am an expert,” Changkyun says with a sardonic smile.

“Didn’t say on what,” Kihyun says and then looks at Hoseok. “Nice to see you again.” Kihyun doesn’t even look at Hyungwon when he adds, “As for you, debatable.” And then he turns to walk away. “Jooheon, stop playing with the volume speakers.”

“Shit!” Jooheon jumps around. “I swear his asshole has an eye! And it has X-Ray vision!”

Changkyun laughs, turns back to the console. “Wonder if that eye could keep contact…”

“Don’t mind him,” Hoseok says, puts a hand on Changkyun’s shoulder that makes him jump a little. “You’re the personification of his issues.”

“What?” Changkyun frowns. “What issues?”

“He trained with us,” Hyungwon says, shrugs. “Always struggled with the Drift. Compatibility, all that. And you’re kind of the walking, personified ‘no’ he’s been getting for years.”

Changkyun frowns some more, grumbles. “That’s hardly fair…”

“My job is to press the buttons that flash,” Jooheon deadpans. “Life is never fair.”

“He’s a good soldier, though,” Seola says, smiles. “A good fighter, too. I like him a lot. He minds his own business and likes fairness. I can live with that.”

“I like him, too!” Hoseok defends, hands up before they fall to his sides as he pouts. “I was just… Saying.”

“Still,” Hyungwon drawls. “Not sure I’d wanna be in his head, all _I’m_ saying.”

Changkyun looks at the screen, at the readings from Hyungwon and Hoseok’s Neural Handshake and mumbles, “You and me both.”

 

 

It’s disorientating to suddenly be on someone else’s schedule. Changkyun works best alone, works best in his own time, but unfortunately in a place like this…

It’s 2AM--at least, that’s what the clock next to his bed tells him--when his stomach rouses him out of sleep. He skipped dinner. Again. Either on purpose, or his subconscious had _let_ him become far too engrossed in his work. To hell with it, though. There should be _something_ in the kitchens for him to eat. Ice cream, dry noodles, a block of cheese, anything.

He throws his robe (white, fluffy, comfy) on over his boxers, ties it loosely and yawns behind his hand as he grabs his keycard and wanders off. He’s seen them take the plates off into a room next to the cafeteria, so that’s where he goes. There’s no passkey needed to get in, but the door is locked. Changkyun just scoffs, shimmies his card in between the door and the wall and that’s all he has to do. Honestly, internal security over ice cream? Apparently doesn’t exist. Although technically he _did_ use the keycard to get in…

There’s a row of big, silver fridges, so Changkyun starts at the furthest left one.

“Seriously?” he mumbles to himself, closing the door. “Not even a banana or something..? Ugh…” Second fridge. The top is a freezer and Changkyun tries his luck. There’s a big tub of something, and when he shimmies it out, pops it open, he’s staring down at sweet, sweet ice cream. “Score!”

“What the hell are you doing?”

Changkyun startles with a small yelp, almost drops the ice cream. He looks up, heart in his ears. “Shit. Captain Yoo?” In the dim light, that’s who Changkyun thinks it is, anyway. Voice sharp as always. “Jesus, you scared the shit out of me.”

Kihyun walks a little closer and… of course he’s frowning like Changkyun is the source of all his problems. “And yet you still haven’t told me what you’re doing.” Kihyun is wearing that stupid black tank top again. His tattoo melds a little in the dark background. He frowns even more (how is that possible?!) when he gets closer. “What the hell are you wearing?”

“Oh, right,” Changkyun says, glances down at himself and puts the ice cream down to pull the robe a little tighter around himself, tie it properly over his naked chest. He glances up with a frown of his own. “I’m hungry. This is a kitchen. Seems appropriate to be here, considering.”

“Considering..?” Kihyun crosses his arms. “There’s a reason why we have a schedule. There _are_ eating hours. I’m sure you’re aware.”

“Well, I missed them, so,” Changkyun looks around. Maybe there are sprinkles around here somewhere? But first; a spoon. “Not gonna go hungry just because I didn’t fit into the schedule… Is there a reason _you’re_ here? There are sleeping hours, too.”

“None of your goddamn business,” Kihyun says. But despite the way he words it, his voice comes out rather soft. He’s still frowning, though. _Of course he is._

Changkyun opens a drawer. Knives. Nope. He closes it and moves on. _Straws? What?_ “Ah, right. I’ll remember that for the next time _you_ ask _me_ …”

“Last drawer on the left,” Kihyun mumbles.

Sure enough, spoons. “Thanks,” Changkyun mumbles, too. He glances up, then, holds up another spoon as if asking a question.

Kihyun’s frown relaxes but only so he can cock an eyebrow up. He sighs, rolls his eyes and walks to the little counter between them, drags a chair with his foot and hops on.

Changkyun hops onto a chair himself, puts the spoon down and digs into the tub of ice cream with his own without a word. Too damn late for words. Or early, depending on how you like to look at it.

Fingers silently tapping over the counter for a few moments, Kihyun watches the ice cream tub. He’s not really looking at Changkyun, just keeps his eyes on the ice cream but like he’s seeing something else instead. Like he’s looking, but not really. Looking without seeing. It’s not the first time Changkyun has seen that look on him.

But then, as if startled by his own body, Kihyun blinks fast, grabs the spoon and silently reaches over to take a spoon of ice cream.

It’s better this way, Changkyun thinks, as they eat ice cream in silence. He’s not even sure if he likes this guy, but he’s never been a fan of filling silence with unnecessary words. And it feels like everything Changkyun could say, would be just that. At least, now Kihyun’s not frowning anymore.

They finish the whole thing. And before Changkyun can do something about the tub and the spoons, Kihyun gets up and takes everything to the sink, washes the spoons and throws the container away. So they do recycle in here...

All Changkyun hears before Kihyun walks away is a low, “Goodnight.”

“G’night,” he says, too, and it is, again, to an empty room. Some things really never change, do they?


	2. Drift Compatible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They’ve both lost people. It’s a terrible thing to have in common, but it is what it is. In this world, it would be rare to find someone who hasn’t.

  


On August 10, 2013, the first Breach opened between two tectonic plates on the floor of Challenger Deep in the Mariana Trench. The Kaiju, a race of amphibious monsters, extremely hostile and toxic creatures, gigantic biological weapons of warfare, poured out of the portal like toxic rain and decimated various cities located on the Pacific Rim, taking countless lives.

In 2025, the Jaegers assaulted the Breach directly and managed to destroy the bridge between worlds.

 _Worlds…_ Who would have thought, _all this time looking at the stars, that they were right under our feet._ The Anteverse, some call it, and a wormhole, so to speak, that paves the road there and back. But very little is known and many questions remain.

People died in that war. Thousands and thousands of people. Some estimate millions, and those who remain, remember. Those who remain hope, but know, deep down, that it’s not over yet.

That is what Kihyun works for; for whatever comes next. Like his parents before him. And many, many others. And while he knows he has a role to play, knows everyone’s job is important, there’s a deep personal desire to go just a little beyond the line that’s been traced in front of him.

 _You shall not go further from here,_ they say.

That just means he’ll have to try ten times harder to get there.

Of course, this is all beautiful in theory. But practically speaking, going through dossiers and dossiers of new personnel really isn’t Kihyun’s strongest point. He’s a soldier. Has always been a soldier even before he became a Cadet. Bureaucracy was _not_ a subject he had to go through. But that’s General Son. He likes to bore people to death.

Kihyun sighs and flips through another dossier. Another kid, science team, impressive academic scores, _blablablabla._ These probably pass through the hands of at least ten people before they get admitted. _And yet…_

And yet that kid, Im Changkyun, jumped over the whole protocol and has himself settled in nicely. There’s enough lap-dogs boarding on this ‘ship’. And now Kihyun has one barking orders at him.

He sighs, again, closes the dossier and glances at the clock over the table. It’s almost seven in the morning. He picks up his dog tags from the desk and pulls them over his head, gets up and walks to the little closet-like locker in his room.

Three equally washed uniforms and formal wear. _And they’re all green._

Today is just another day, however, so Kihyun picks the usual and gets dressed. He’s already exiting the room when the wake-up call starts. He’s glad he doesn’t have to wake up to that all that often. It’s a nightmarish sound. Like the world is going to end and everyone needs to be up in that exact second.

Kihyun runs a hand through his hair to pull it back and fits the military cap on his head.

It’s just another day. Doing what needs to be done.

 

 

The door to the Research lab opens and Kihyun grimaces at the smell. As usual, ammonia. And yet, Minhyuk thrives among the piles of Kaiju entrails and blood on the floor.

“General Son told me to…” Kihyun makes a face as he steps in and his soles stick to the ground. “Give you these…”

Minhyuk pushes his--are those goggles?--up over his head with the back of his hand, white-blonde hair pointing every which way. “Thanks! What is it? Can’t look--” He holds up his hands. Gloved, blue. “Sticky hands.”

“Uhm,” Kihyun looks at the files, takes the cap off to scratch at his head. “Something, something, gamma radiation, classified.”

“Gamma, mm?” Minhyuk hums, drops back down and out of view, brings a piece of--is that kaiju flesh? _Jesus_ \--out. “Did Dr. Im sign off on it? Needed him to check some equations.”

“I’m not a pigeon or an owl,” Kihyun grumbles. “The General just makes me run errands because… Doesn’t matter why. I don’t know who’s supposed to sign on what.”

“Aw, maybe it’s because he knows how much you like me,” Minhyuk says, goggles back on.

“Yes,” Kihyun deadpans, reaching over to drop the files over a table nearby, “It’s love, Minhyuk. It’s love. Now, if you’ll excuse me…” He’s getting out of here before he throws up.

“Give Showney a kiss from me!” Minhyuk calls after him.

“I will not!” Kihyun throws over his shoulder before the doors close behind him. _Ugh._ His soles are sticking to the floor. He grimaces a little and turns left towards the elevators.

There’s a line poking out of his cap so he fumbles with it, twirls it around his finger and tries to pluck it out. It’s a really small line, though, so it’s not working very well. Maybe with a knife. He pauses and reaches for the army knife on his belt.

 _Yep._ Problem solved.

A few people get into the large elevator with him. But he only notices one of them is Im Changkyun when they reach the next floor. Kihyun is not getting out here, though. And, apparently, neither is the kid.

_Great._

Someone else gets in, someone Kihyun recognises as Lieutenant Volkov. Kihyun bows his head a little in greeting, and the man smiles back, stands between the two of them. He's considerably taller than the two of them, too.

Changkyun glances at the Lieutenant a little wide eyed, realises what he’s doing and fumbles with the files in his arms, lets a page fall and scrunches his eyes closed. In embarrassment, maybe?

Kihyun glances at the page and frowns. _What terrible handwriting… Typical science nerd._ No one moves to pick up the damn page, though.  So, Kihyun leans down and does just that. Hands it over to Changkyun without really looking at him.

“Great,” Changkyun says. “Er, I mean, thanks.”

“Are you in the science department, small one?” The lieutenant asks, pressing the R’s around in a strange but interesting accent. Kihyun glances at Changkyun and needs to tongue at the corner of his lips to keep the smile away. The kid just had a brain freeze.

“Me?” Changkyun finally asks. He stutters just a little. “I mean, yes, yes, I am.”

“Oh, Lieutenant Volkov. A pleasure. I hadn’t seen you around yet.”

Changkyun breathes out in obvious relief when the doors open, welcoming the new soldier who greets the Lieutenant, Changkyun quickly making his way off the elevator. Was this even his stop…?

Incredibly blunt, no sense of empathy whatsoever and brain freezes? Kihyun rolls his eyes and holds his own hand behind his back.

_Weirdo._

 

__

 

“I am _not_ calling it the cockpit,” Kihyun says for the fifth time, eyes on the General’s desk. Kihyun has always liked this office. If it wasn’t for the amount of windows (a structural weakness, for sure), he would like it even more.

“Why not?” The General asks, looks over his shoulder for a moment and then picks the Espresso he just served himself. “It is what it is.”

Kihyun takes a deep breath. “It’s the Conn-Pod. Not a cockpit.”

“But the Conn-Pod is a cockpit…”

_Ohmygod, shut up…_

“Anyway, I was saying,” Kihyun clears his throat, “It would save us a lot of time if the Conn-Pods were to be stationary, locked to the body of the Jaeger. It would save us minutes during Launch. And minutes can save lives.”

“Bring that up with Engineering, then.”

Kihyun blinks. “For real? _I mean!_ ” He flushes and looks down. “Yes, sir…”

“Unless they can give you a reason why not to,” the General shrugs. “I assume there is a reason for things to be done the way they are.”

“Obviously,” Kihyun says, looks up. “Marks 1 to 3 were all nuclear powered. The cock-- _Conn-Pods_ are sensitive and can accumulate damage from prolonged radiation exposure. But since Dr. Im is working on those radiation shields, it won’t be a problem anymore.”

“Oh?”

Kihyun blinks. “I was… reading last night.” Not a book. Not really. Just a bit of Dr. Im’s research. The guy is smart, after all. _Still an asshole, though._

“Good,” the General smiles. “You know, I think you and Changkyun could get along, if you weren’t so intent not to.”

Kihyun frowns. “And why is that?”

“Just a feeling.”

“Careful,” Kihyun mumbles, frowning, “Feelings get you killed.”

“They also keep you fighting,” the General says, takes a big sip of his coffee and nods, gestures. “Now go on. Things to fix, right?”

Kihyun opens his mouth to say something about _Shownu_ sitting on a chair throughout most of the day, drinking coffee and making phone calls. But he purses his lips and stays quiet, nods and makes to leave.

 

 

The Engineer team gives Changkyun a pair of overalls. Military green. It’s funny; not like Kaiju would be fooled by basic camouflage, but hey, old habits die hard. _And dye green._ Changkyun scoffs to himself, rolls himself out from underneath the engine (massive thing, powerful, _beautiful_ ) and breathes the cooler air there. When he wipes across his forehead, feeling the sweat there, he grimaces, looks at his hand. Yep, totally just wiped grease all over his face.

Charming.

“That should do it,” he says to the closest engineer taking readings on a tablet. There’s a Geiger-Mueller Meter on the table nearby and Changkyun quickly switches it on, grins wide when it doesn’t make a peep. “See? Isn’t this fantastic?!”

“This is great,” the engineer says, smiles, even. “They told us that thanks to this we can make the cockpits stationary on the Jaegers. Which saves us a lot of time during Launch.”

And a lot of lives. Many Jaeger pilots, in the early days, got sick from radiation poisoning. It’s part of why they moved on to the digital Jaegers. But then again, one EMP field and poof, fried. And whatever self-destruct they’d have wouldn’t be nearly as powerful.

“Exactly!” Changkyun says. “I’ll go tell Shownu right away, so we can get started.”

“Oh, no need!” The girl says, taps at her tablet. “Captain Yoo already spoke to him and signed off the authorization.” She looks up. “It was his idea. It’s approved and ready to go.”

 _That same itch at the back of his mind._ _Eye contact that lasted a bit too long for comfort. Coincidence upon coincidence. A massive base, and yet..._

Changkyun scratches at the back of his head, like that’ll help. “Yeah, course it was…” Changkyun turns the GM-Meter off and puts it down, nods his head politely at the girl (Jooheon re-taught him that) before excusing himself.

He keeps… smearing at the grease on his forehead, like that’ll help at all. He’s gonna need to shower. He’ll just be supervising the cockpit thing anyway; it’s simple, so the chances of them fucking it up aren't high enough for Changkyun to have to do it himself.

And of course, because the universe has a way of doing things despite its inhabitants, Changkyun sees Yoo Kihyun in conversation with someone in the hallway.

Of course. Of fucking course.

Changkyun is only on the way to his room for fresh clothes. That's all.

He… thinks he recognises the person Kihyun is talking to. He can’t be sure. When they raise a hand to greet him, though, Changkyun feels really bad about not remembering their face.

“Hey,” he says, in any case, continues walking but glances at Kihyun. How the hell did they have the same idea on the same damn day?

Kihyun barely looks at him but gives a distinct nod as if in acknowledgement. The other person smiles and greets Changkyun back with a loud, “Hey!”

Changkyun huffs at himself. Maybe a nice long walk after his shower. Maybe that’ll help.

 

 

It doesn’t help. Not really. Not even when Changkyun walks to the damn ends of this place, and he still manages to stumble into a room with Yoo _freaking_ Kihyun in it.

There’s a mat on the floor for when they fall, sparring sticks in hooks on the wall. Dami sits at a corner, book in her hand, as Seola lunges forward towards Kihyun with a “Hyah!” to attack.

Another problem with Kihyun, _of which there are many_ , is that Changkyun can’t help but admit to himself that the man is not exactly bad to look at. Especially not when he’s wearing that stupid black tank-top, forearm tattoo in display, a few strands of black hair sticking to his face and then, of course, _of course_ , he pushes his hair back to expose the undercut. _And_ still manages to dodge Seola while doing it.

Just because Changkyun doesn’t like him, doesn’t mean he’s _blind_.

A good fighter. It said so in the dossier. But Changkyun had seen him fight; like he’s lashing out.

“Ugh!” Seola groans, stumbles a little with the momentum of her missed hit. Dami looks up, flips a page, and says nothing.

Kihyun twirls the stick in his hand and sighs. “You have a tell,” he points at Seola’s feet. “Your first step is always with your right foot. It’s easy to predict after a while.”

Changkyun stays quiet, leans a little against the wall and watches.

“Not going to tell me yours, then?” Seola says, twirling the stick in her hand.

Kihyun grins. That’s new. It’s the first time Changkyun sees a smile on the man’s face. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe the Kaiju will stop trying to bite your head off and will let you know their weak-points.”

“Oh, sass,” Dami says, eyes on her book. “Wish I was in the mood to spar you, Yoo…”

“What are you reading?” Kihyun asks Dami, tilts his head at Seola, though, and moves his left foot back. _There it is_ , Changkyun thinks.

“Surgical procedures for the removal of Ass Sticks.”

“Why?” Kihyun asks casually, “Got something stuck up there, recently?”

Huh. Looks like he _can_ take a joke.

“Wouldn’t know,” Dami says, flips a page. “Tell me how it feels and I’ll get back to you.”

Seola laughs a little and holds the stick with both hands, this time goes forward but strikes down-up. Kihyun doesn’t dodge this time, though, and counters her, barely applies any strength and Seola’s stick bounces back down. Kihyun takes her wrist and when he twists her arm she falls forward and he wins.

“Ouch?” Seola laughs.

Kihyun smiles a little and taps the stick over her head. “Dummy,” he says as he gets up. “Much better, though.”

This… is a new side of Yoo Kihyun. It’s softer, gentler, a little brighter and less chaotic. Why hide it, anyway? Is he that desperate to be taken seriously?

“Oh,” Dami says as she looks up and her eyes land on Changkyun with a small smile. “We have a visitor.”

It’s two seconds. Changkyun counts. _Two seconds_. Kihyun looks at him and frowns. Like that’s the instinct reaction. Seola, though? Jumps up from the floor with a grin.

“Hey! Science-guy!” She beams. _Beams!_

Changkyun smiles, waves a little. “Hey, Ranger-girl.”

Kihyun glances away and walks towards Dami, picks up a towel and a bottle of water.

“Interested in joining us?” Seola asks, waves her sparring stick around to emphasize.

“Oh, er,” Changkyun puts a hand up. “I’m not exactly the fighting type…”

“Aw, pretty please?” Seola jumps. “I can teach you!”

Changkyun glances at Kihyun. It’s odd, but Changkyun doesn’t want to embarrass himself in front of him. Which, if he says, yes, is near definitely what will happen. “Going to teach me how to make an ass out of myself?”

“Thought you were a natural at that,” Kihyun mumbles, doesn’t look over.

Dami scoffs. “Play nice…”

“Here,” Seola says, throws her stick over. Changkyun fumbles to catch it but manages.

Kihyun drinks the whole bottle in one go and then leans down to place it on the floor before he turns to them. He frowns. “Need mine?” He asks Seola, holds up his sparring stick.

She wiggles her fingers and he scoffs and throws it over.

“I really don’t know--” Changkyun starts and then yelps when Seola makes a move towards him. It doesn’t even hit. He’s not even sure it was a move.

“I was just--” She laughs. “Walking closer, oh my god.”

Kihyun crosses his arms, raises an eyebrow. “I think my day is made.”

Changkyun throws a glare his way, clears his throat and straightens up, tries to mimic the way Seola had spun the stick and drops it. “Ugh,” he says under his breath, picks it up.

“Here,” Kihyun says with a sigh, steps closer and grabs Changkyun’s wrist. Changkyun jumps a little. “Flatten your hand.”

Changkyun wordlessly does just that, makes sure not to look at him.

Kihyun fits the sparring stick between Changkyun’s thumb and his index finger. “When you spin it, you motion it forward and you open your hand a little. Let it spin, keeping it in the thumb. It will make its way back to you.” Kihyun takes the stick and gives a step back to demonstrate. Once slowly and then faster. “Once you manage a simple spin, you can get creative.” He hands the stick back to Changkyun. “Don’t forget, open your hand and turn your wrist a little.”

“Oh,” Changkyun says, as slowly as he spins the stick in his hand, concentrating on his wrist and grins widely. “Kay! Hah, I did it!”

“The finger roll is a bit more complicated,” Kihyun says slowly stepping back. “Practice makes perfect.”

“Right,” Changkyun nods, watching his hand as he makes the sparring stick spin. It’s fun. “Thanks…”

“En guarde!” Seola announces and Changkyun _almost_ yelps again, before holding the stick up to block what _is_ actually an attack. It’s slow, though, deliberate. “Nice!” Seola says. “See? Not that hard.”

“It’s because you were doing it slowly,” he says, has to adjust his glasses. God, that would be annoying.

“Gonna keep going slow, then. Come on, onto the mat. Shoes off, though, obviously.”

Changkyun grips at the stick. “I really don’t think--”

“Shoes. Off. Mat. Now.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Changkyun says, kicks off his shoes and walks onto the mat.

“You need contact lenses,” Seola nods, spins the stick fast between her hands before she takes position.

“It’s not like I do this a lot,” Changkyun says. Besides, he can’t keep his damn eyes open when trying to fit one of those in. He’s tried. It doesn’t work.

“Kiki used to wear glasses, too,” Seola mumbles.

“You know,” Kihyun calls at them, “We’re not off duty, lady.”

“Sorry, Captain,” she says with a teasing smile.

And it is quite fun, actually. Seola (thank god) goes slow, explains everything she does and waits for Changkyun to do it, too. He thinks he’s starting to get the hang of it when Dami stands up and waves her wrist around.

“Time to go, Jungie,” she says, book under her arm.

Seola smiles bright, bows to Changkyun and then runs to Dami, throws the sparring stick at Kihyun. “Coach him!”

Kihyun raises an eyebrow. “Me?”

_Oh, no._

“No, the ghost next to you,” Seola scoffs, gathering her things, backpack over her shoulder.

Kihyun rolls his eyes and sighs, walks towards Changkyun without really looking at him. “Knew you were a witch.” Their eyes lock, though, when Kihyun passes by. But he breaks eye-contact quickly, taps the stick on the floor. “Are you defense or offense?”

“I don’t… know?” Changkyun asks. His instincts, though, scream defense.

Kihyun twirls the stick and it lands over his shoulder. He looks up at Changkyun, a slight frown between his eyebrows, and tilts his head as he looks further up. “Defense..?”

Changkyun blinks. “Er, yeah, I guess.”

“Alright,” there’s a slight twitch at the corner of Kihyun’s lips but it doesn’t turn into a smile. “Ever heard of learning on the job?”

“Social Darwinism exists for a reason,” Changkyun says, pauses. “I mean, yes.” He shudders a little, though, when sees Kihyun coming at him without a word. And in less than three seconds, Changkyun feels something push against his ankles and he’s on the floor, looking at a stick that is only a few centimeters away from his face.

“Dead,” Kihyun says and then steps back. “Again.”

Changkyun’s heart is loud in his ears even as he pushes himself up, swallows and nods. Kihyun does the same thing, and Changkyun manages to block one hit before he’s on the floor again.

“Two to zero,” Dami says from the door, Seola peeking over Dami’s shoulder.

“Again,” Kihyun says.

Changkyun closes his eyes for a moment in frustration, before standing up again. The same two moves. So Changkyun intercepts on the second, hitting low when Kihyun hits high. Kihyun stumbles back a little, face unreadable when he says;

“Crippled me, good job.”

“Two to one,” Dami calls and Seola whistles lowly.

Changkyun smiles, and then Kihyun attacks again, and it’s completely different. Changkyun counters to the wrong move and Kihyun gets the stick against Changkyun’s neck.

“Dead,” Changkyun says before Kihyun can. “Again.”

Kihyun smiles a little and steps back, twirls the stick and takes a breath. He waits a heartbeat and strikes again. The exact same move as before. And this time, Changkyun manages to counter, does exactly what he saw Kihyun do with Seola.

“Two to two.”

Kihyun frowns. _It’s back, ladies and gents._ “You sure you’ve never done this before?”

Changkyun shrugs. He’s a little winded, which is to be expected. “I live alone.”

“That explains a lot,” Kihyun mutters. Twirls the stick and lurches forward with a whole different move. Changkyun doesn’t even move this time. And Kihyun frowns harder. “Concentrate.”

“Three to two.”

“You, too,” Changkyun says and, knowing Kihyun wouldn’t expect him to attack first, he does. Which wins him the round and earns him wide-eyed Kihyun. Again, something new.

“Three to three.”

“This is _awesome_ ,” Seola says.

Kihyun makes to strike before Changkyun catches his breath but he manages to counter it. Except Kihyun counters his counter. Kihyun attacks, and Changkyun blocks. Kihyun floors him, but he rolls out of the way before Kihyun can land the hit. All Changkyun concentrates on, all his instincts yell at him to do, is block, defend, counter in a way that’ll give him a second to think of the next.

And Kihyun is good. He’s fast. Changkyun can’t really dodge the close combat Kihyun throws at him sometimes, but at least Changkyun dodges the ‘killer’ hits and manages not to get stuck.

It feels like action and reaction, that’s all. Muscle memory screaming at him to take his hand off a hot plate and doing it before even realising the plate is hot.

Changkyun can feel himself struggling to catch his breath and the more time passes the more aggressive Kihyun becomes.

It’s fast and kind of impossible to tell how it happens, but Kihyun manages to disarm Changkyun, take his stick off his hand, grab his wrist and strike a (soft) tap over Changkyun’s chest.

“Four to three,” Dami says.

But Kihyun just keeps staring at Changkyun with the most confused expression Changkyun has ever seen on him. And Changkyun swallows thickly, looks down at Kihyun’s hand.

He’s is not an idiot. Changkyun knows what this means. Both of them might...

Kihyun slowly lets go of Changkyun’s wrist and steps back, frowning.

“Changkyun.”

Changkyun startles, looks to the doorway. Shownu looks back at him, expression unreadable, hands behind his back.

“Come with me,” he says, turns, and walks.  
  


 

Changkyun has to attempt a run, tries to fit his foot into his shoe as he does. But Shownu keeps walking, eyes front. Changkyun's heart has never been this _loud_.

“Slow--slow down,” he says, out of breath.

Shownu doesn’t slow down. Doesn’t even look up his shoulder. “Do you know how long you, untrained, managed to keep up with a seven-years in training soldier?”

Honestly? “No,” Changkyun says, slips his shoe on properly and falls in stride with Shownu, who picks his pace up again without a blink.

“Fifteen minutes.”

Changkyun swallows. No wonder he’s so tired. No wonder he’s so scared. “You were watching?”

“Since the eighth minute mark, yes,” Shownu says, turns towards the elevators.

“Fuck,” Changkyun says, simply, gets into the elevator with Shownu and turns to him the moment the doors close. “Listen, I know what you’re going to say--”

“And I know what you’re going to say,” Shownu says in a tone louder than usual.

“Great! Let’s just skip all that then!”

Shownu sighs, glances over. “I won’t even get into personal details about Yoo Kihyun. Because you know, don’t you? He’s been trying for five years. And that’s all I’m saying on the matter. _But.”_ Shownu looks at the display and reaches for the red button, stops the elevator between floors, and looks at Changkyun. “We have… a responsibility, here. And people like you, alone? Rare. People like Yoo Kihyun? I have plenty of soldiers like Yoo Kihyun, maybe not as many as good with a gun... But I don’t have anything like the two of you together.”

Changkyun’s mouth opens and closes without so much as a sound. The first, the only thing he manages is; “Hyunwoo, I’m not a soldier…”

Shownu blinks slowly and looks down. “Throughout my career, I’ve met two types of soldiers. Those who’ve trained for years to become who they are. And those who were born soldiers and carry it in their hearts.”

“I’m neither!” Changkyun insists. “I don’t have it--that drive, that ability to go out there and fight, I just _don’t_ \--”

“Why? Because you’re scared?” Shownu frowns, presses the red button again and the elevator starts moving. “We’re all scared. And whoever thinks piloting a Jaeger is a holiday, I can assure you, they’ll be the first ones to die.”

Changkyun groans in frustration. “He doesn’t even _like_ me, Shownu.”

“He doesn’t _have_ to like you. You know that as well as I do. Drifting is not about _liking_ someone. It’s about chemistry. It’s about understanding someone else. And then, about trust. You don’t have to butter his toasts in the morning for it to work.”

The elevator doors open, and it feels a lot like the end of whatever ‘discussion’ this has been.

Shownu steps out and looks over his shoulder, eyes soft. “Look… Test it, at least. The Physical Compatibility is one thing. Test the Neural Link. You don’t have to make the Drift for that. If it’s good. We’ll talk again. If not? Consider it dropped.”

Changkyun nods, shoulders slumped in defeat. What choice does he have, really?

 

__

 

 _What the hell was that?_ Is all Kihyun thinks about on the way to his room.

Seola and Dami just kept grinning at each other the entire time, which didn’t help, still doesn’t. But at least now he’s alone. Alone and confused. Because, first of all, how the hell is that kid _good_ at anything that isn’t hieroglyphic handwriting and calculus? And second, why does it feel so itchy, this strange feeling suddenly poking at the back of Kihyun’s head, like it wants to tell him something he kind of already know but keeps denying.

Because there’s no way… Right? Out of all the people Kihyun has been tested against, it had to the the weird asshole from the science department..? No way…

The door to his room opens when he waves his card in front of the sensor. It closes behind him and Kihyun lets himself fall face down onto the bed.

He’s tired. Tired and confused. Because this is not how it’s supposed to feel, is it? The Drift Compatibility everyone speaks of…

Kihyun groans into his pillow. Changkyun’s words bouncing around inside his head, telling, whispering with a much different voice, _‘You should focus on something else.’_

There’s no way the last person to step all over his effort like it was nothing is Drift compatible with him. There’s no way…

Kihyun rolls around and falls off the bed with a “Ufgh.” He stares at the ceiling and frowns. _No fucking way this is happening._

But if it _is_ happening, then he'll just have to take it… Right? Right. It’s his goddamn job, whether he likes it or not.

Whatever happens, happens.

 

 

Changkyun hovers outside the room. It’s not the smartest thing to do, but hey, he’s allowed to be dumb sometimes, right? With a deep breath, squaring his shoulders and smacking his cheek, he knocks on the door with the flat end of his fist.

“Kihyun?”

Silence.

Just before Changkyun can knock again, the door opens. Kihyun is already frowning the moment they lock eyes.

“What do you want?” Kihyun asks, voice flat.

“Not to be here?” Changkyun tries, sighs. “Look, I’m sure you already know what I’m going to say, so let’s just get it out of the way.”

Kihyun glances away. “And then what?”

“And then we… Take it from there.” Changkyun sighs again. “Look, I don’t want this, okay? At all. But the only way out of it is to go do that damn Neural Handshake and prove it’s not worth the effort.”

Kihyun takes a deep breath and reaches back to grab something, a jacket. He steps out as he puts it on, lets it hang open. “Fine.” His door closes. “Let’s go.”

Changkyun nods, crosses his arms and starts walking. He’s not a soldier, will never ever be a damn soldier. Even if he _is_ Drift Compatible with Kihyun, there’s no way he’d… he’d…

Changkyun looks at Kihyun and asks, because he doesn’t understand it, never really has;

“Why do you want to be a Ranger?”

A pause. A heartbeat. One second that stretches into a million. And then;

“Because someone has to,” Kihyun answers simply without looking over. Like the answer is trained. Like he’s had to say it a thousand times. “Because I wouldn’t be standing here today if…” He trails off. “I want to be able to give people that chance, too.”

Changkyun frowns. “There were thirteen other people ready to take two spots... There will be someone else. I wasn’t asking why Rangers should exist, I was asking why _you_ want to be one.”

Kihyun stops walking, keeps looking ahead. “Don’t you have something you want to protect?”

“Not anymore,” Changkyun says, stops, too. “But other people do. It’s why I’m here, after all.”

“Right,” Kihyun looks down. “My… father always told me that when you want something done a certain way, you go and you do it yourself. There are… no excuses. Instead of complaining about what others do wrong, you just… go and do it.” He starts walking again, but slow. “It’s that simple.”

Changkyun falls into step with him (perhaps too easily), eyes on his boots. “Yeah, maybe it is.”

No one’s ever said it like that before. It’s always a responsibility, a duty, a sacrifice. Never just plain… spite, really.

The Bridge isn’t far from Kihyun’s quarters, from Changkyun’s own. There’s reason for it, Changkyun knows, but the walk still feels incredibly short. Like it should have been longer to give him time to think about what they’re about to do, about how it might affect the rest of Changkyun’s damn life.

“Oh, hey,” Jooheon greets when they walk in, smiles at them despite the obvious confusion. “You two friends now? Talk about character development.”

Kihyun rolls his eyes and crosses his arms. “Don’t you have work to do?”

Jooheon makes a face, raises both hands in defeat and turns to the console. “Yes, sir.”

Changkyun rolls his eyes and walks past, stands in next to the console in front of Jooheon. “General Son authorised a Neural Handshake. How fast can we do it?”

Jooheon blinks, turns a little to look at Kihyun. “You’re shitting me…”

“Constipated at the moment, I’m afraid,” Changkyun deadpans.

“Yeah,” Jooheon scoffs, turns to the console, “Must be the company. That shit’s contagious.” He sighs. “I can connect you in five. It’s just a test, right?”

“Yep,” Changkyun says. “Just need a reading, prove it was just…” He glances up at Kihyun. What was that, if not this? “An Accident.”

Kihyun frowns at him and then looks at Jooheon. “Just get it done.”

“I’m on it, I’m on it,” Jooheon grumbles. “Take the hats, ladies.”

Changkyun reaches for the ‘hats’, as Jooheon put it, tosses one over to Kihyun before staring at his own, turns it in his hands before slipping it over his head.

Jooheon gets up and brings one of the cables in his hands all the way back to connect it to Changkyun’s helmet. He does the same with Kihyun’s.

“Alright,” he says as he steps back towards the console. “Have any of your ever… Drifted before?”

“Yes,” Kihyun says right away. Changkyun shakes his head.

“This is like extending your hand and seeing someone else’s approach. It won’t trigger the Neural Handshake but it can be… Weird.” Jooheon snorts and sits down. “Or so they tell me. Would love to try. Sounds like cheap weed.” He taps at the console. “Okay, ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” Changkyun mutters, nervous, unsure. It’s one thing to know it in theory, but this?

Jooheon smiles a little, dimples showing just slightly, and then clicks the glowing red button next to his hand.

It feels like Changkyun's conscience is being sucked into a blackhole, compressed and pulled and then…

_Everything._

_A child, scared and alone in the cold. Parents, lost to war. Changkyun sits alone at a table, surrounded by numbers. Kihyun fights, trains after the others have already gone. Fear of the Kaiju, fear of losing._

_“Hide. Stay quiet and make yourself small, and you’ll be safe.”_

_“Don’t be a coward. Do it yourself.”_

_“I won’t let this happen again.”_

_“I won’t let you die for nothing.”_

_A last kiss Kihyun didn’t know he’d have to cherish. The scared expression in Changkyun’s mother’s eyes as she hides her son as best she can. Screaming on a shore now burnt to ash. Alone, in a place that will always, always be cold._

It wells in Changkyun’s stomach and breaks, like whiplash. He finds himself trying to make it stop, trying to take the helmet away, face wet with tears he doesn’t know for sure to be his own.

His eyes dart towards the screen and his heart breaks a little.

 _98%_.

“Holy shit,” Jooheon says. The woman next to him has her eyes wide and glued to the display. “Shit, is this thing _broken_ , what the fuck…”

Changkyun glances up, at Kihyun. Sees Kihyun slowly remove the helmet, eyes watching but not _seeing._ It’s that look from before.

Kihyun places the helmet over the table and turns around to walk away.

“It’s not broken,” Changkyun mutters, hand on the console to steady himself as he blinks away the afterimages of memories he never had.

“Dude,” Jooheon looks at him, reaches for his arm, “This is like… our highest score. Not even the senior pilots have a percentage above eighty.”

“I know,” Changkyun frowns, wipes at his cheeks. “I was there for that, Jooheon…”

Jooheon slumps back in his chair. “Are you… okay?”

Changkyun looks over, looks up through the massive windows. He’s going to die in one of those damn machines. Crushed between metal and more metal. Drowning inside what was meant to protect him. Slashed open by claws bigger than a house. With his fear and someone else’s inside his head, spreading through his body. And if his co-pilot dies? Then Changkyun will feel it as his own death.

He pushes away from the console. “Give General Son the results of this. I’ll be…” He gestures vaguely, turns around to leave. “Not here.”

 

 

Jooheon does his job, the General gets his results and calls Dr. Im Changkyun and Captain Yoo Kihyun into his office. It’s… awkward, to say the least. There’s a different way of looking at someone after catching a glimpse into their head. Changkyun wonders how long it will take before he sees the Captain from a few hours ago, the one he dislikes for some reason, and not the memories that are long since past, the ones that feel soft at the edges unlike Kihyun himself.

They sit down (in sync, it’s annoying) and Changkyun glances at Kihyun before bowing his head to Shownu. It’s even more annoying how little Kihyun’s face betrays. Changkyun can’t really tell, but he knows now at least, that Kihyun dislikes him. Maybe not hatred, at least it didn’t feel that strong when Changkyun felt it as his own, but it’s there.

Changkyun’s not sure how he feels about being disliked. Not good, definitely. But then again, he’s… ambivalent about Kihyun, to say the least.

“So,” Shownu starts, way too casually for Changkyun’s taste, “Ninety eight percent.”

Changkyun frowns, glances up. “I can’t run up a flight of stairs without getting winded, Shownu.”

“Which is why I want Captain Yoo to train you.”

“What?!” Kihyun says suddenly, face contorting in confusion and whatever else he might be feeling. “You’re _seriously_ going through with this?”

“You can’t _seriously_ want me in a Jaeger?” Changkyun gapes. “ _Me_?”

“Yes,” Shownu says to Kihyun, turns to Changkyun and says it again. “Yes. Look at it from my point of view.” He shrugs and looks at Kihyun. “You’re one of the best soldiers under my care. Maybe a little stubborn. Maybe too stubborn. But good at what you do. And you,” Shownu looks at Changkyun, “Well…”

“If this is a joke,” Kihyun mumbles, “It’s not funny.”

“Am I laughing?” Shownu says.

“No, sir,” Kihyun says.

Changkyun shakes his head. “It’s a new system, maybe the readings were off--maybe there was interference--”

“And the Physical Compatibility?” Shownu questions casually.

“Can you please word it in a different way?” Kihyun grumbles, shifts in his chair.

“Freak accident,” Changkyun says, knows it wasn’t.

“For once,” Kihyun says and Changkyun can tell the words probably hurt Kihyun when he says them, “We have to agree.”

Shownu sighs, leans forward on his desk, looks to Changkyun with eyes that are more tired than they tell. “You know Drift Technology better than anyone. You can’t really think I’d believe you would build a faulty system, and then blame a test your parents initially designed to determine _Physical_ \--” He glances at Kihyun, back at Changkyun. “Compatibility.”

Kihyun glances at Changkyun like he’s expecting a rebuttal. A counter-argument.

“The system is perfect,” Changkyun mumbles, Kihyun gapes like he's just been betrayed. “But I’m still not a soldier. No amount of training will change that.”

“He is,” Shownu says, tilts his head to Kihyun. “And once he’s in your head, it won’t be that difficult to learn what it means. Besides,” Shownu looks at Kihyun. “You’ve wanted to be a Ranger for the past five years. Maybe longer. Suddenly you’re not so eager anymore because you don’t like your partner?”

Again. _Ouch._

“You really have a way with words, _General._ ” Kihyun frowns. “I am giving you a dictionary for Christmas. So you can start looking at synonyms.”

Changkyun grips a little tighter at his hands when he realises they’re shaking. “I still--I still need the scout reports back from the Original Breach, to test for the--” He swallows. “I have work to do, the shields could be better--”

“I agree,” Kihyun says. “Besides, it wouldn’t work,” his eyes move a little as if to look at Changkyun but he doesn’t, “There’s baggage. I can deal with it. He can’t.”

Changkyun looks up with a glare and a frown. “You’ve been in my head _once_ and you’re already trying to tell me who I am?”

“I’m not talking about _your_ baggage, idiot,” Kihyun gritts out.

“What, my baggage not _good enough_ for you all of a sudden--”

“Kids,” Shownu says with a look of obvious amusement. “Behave.”

Kihyun doesn’t listen, though. Again, a first. He turns to look at Changkyun. More like, turns to _glare_ at him. “Again, I was not talking about _you.”_

Changkyun glares back. “And yet, you were trying to decide what you think I can and can’t handle. I don’t fucking _want_ to be a soldier, you damn dense lackey--”

Kihyun gets up, eyes sharp. “For a scaredy cat, you talk a lot…” He says lowly.

Changkyun narrows his eyes. “Bravery is just a kind word for stupidity.”

“You--”

“Captain Yoo,” Shownu warns and Kihyun pauses, rolls eyes and turns to Shownu.

“Sir.”

“You’ve been assigned a new room and you will now report to the Ranger Division. Dismissed.”

Kihyun’s jaw tenses but he still bows his head and turns to walk away.

Changkyun takes a deep breath as Kihyun leaves, his own arms crossed in defiance. “Good luck trying to order me around… Never signed my damn soul away to the Military...”

Shownu smiles a little, slides a paper over the table. “This is your new room. The Jaeger tests are scheduled for two weeks from today. Show up or don’t. Your choice. But remember, it’s on your conscience.”

“One person can’t save the world,” Changkyun says, standing up. “It’s arrogance to think dying in a Jaeger makes any more of a difference than dying in a lab.”

“It’s not about which one is better or more important,” Shownu sighs and leans back on his chair. “It’s about having the power to do something and choosing not to. Many people in this base wish they could stand in your shoes right now. Unfortunately, it’s you. With him. Until we find someone else to replace you.”

“Well… keep looking,” Changkyun says, sighs. “If he gets you that Dictionary, I’ll chip in for a Thesaurus...”

“See?” Shownu smiles. “If you try, it might not be that difficult. To bond, I mean.”

Changkyun scoffs, turns to leave. “Not enough ice cream in the world, hyung.”

 

 

Changkyun’s barely been here a week and he’s already being shunted around by the damn Military. The Ranger quarters are, at least, a little closer to his lab. But then again, it’s like putting a small plaster over a missing limb. Changkyun grumbles to himself, pillow under his arm. It’s all they left there, too. Soldiers--freaking efficient bunch--had already moved the rest of his belongings into his new room.

And there’s probably another pillow waiting for him in this new room, but it’s the damn principle of the thing.

“The hell does he think can be done about me in two weeks anyway,” Changkyun mutters to himself, kicks a wall after turning a corner. He unfolds the small map he’d pushed into his pocket, looks up as he walks.

In the room to his right, Dami and Seola sit and talk and laugh on the top-most bunk. The door to his left is closed. Must be Hyungwon and Hoseok’s. But why the hell is his door open?

Changkyun glances at the map again. A big red X. That’s definitely the destination. There’s a stinking, sinking feeling at the back of his head that he’s going to walk into that room and see--

“Ugh,” he groans, hits his forehead lightly on the doorway. “Of fucking course…”

“Not my idea,” Kihyun mumbles, arms crossed--that stupid tank-top should be forbidden, especially because Kihyun looking good definitely doesn’t make Changkyun any less damn _mad_. Kihyun looks at the bunk beds. “Not one of Shownu’s--I mean, the General’s brightest ideas either.”

“He wants us to bond,” Changkyun grumbles, tossing his pillow onto the top bunk in a silent ‘mine’.

“Nah, nah,” Kihyun frowns and points at the bottom bed. “You. Down. Me. Up.”

Changkyun points, eyebrow cocked. “The pillow says another thing.”

“Pillows don’t talk. Or have rights for that matter,” Kihyun says, reaches up for the pillow and tosses it into the bottom bed.

“Bigot,” Changkyun says, grabs the pillow and throws it up again. “I’m on top. Live with it.”

“Assholes go on the bottom,” Kihyun says, pointing at the bottom bed.

Changkyun points up. “And dicks go on top.” And pauses. Shit, was that a self-burn, too?

“I’m obviously the dick here so, thank you for agreeing.” Kihyun says, shoulder bumping against Changkyun’s when he walks by to get something from his little pile, dog tags hanging from his neck when he leans down.

“At least you’re self-aware,” Changkyun grumbles, grabs at his pillow and throws it--with unnecessary force, he’s aware--onto the bottom bunk. He looks around, then. “Er, where’s my stuff?”

“Dunno,” Kihyun mumbles, “Probably already in place. Since you get treated like a goddamn princess around here.”

Changkyun rolls his eyes, walks to the locker and sure enough, it looks the same as it did in the other one. He slams it shut. Goddammit. He glances into the bathroom, too. Is there even a lock on this fucking door? The shower looks the same, at least, his bag of toiletries on the floor by the sink.

“By the way,” Kihyun says and before Changkyun looks over there is fabric being thrown over his face. “Ranger uniforms. You’ll have to give it back if you want to quit.”

“You too,” Changkyun says, blinking as he takes it off his head. It’s… fucking green. Of course it is. He walks back to his locker. “I quit and you’re kicked out, too, remember. Package deal.”

“I’m aware,” Kihyun mumbles.

The claxon to announce dinner rings. Shit, that too, now?

Kihyun throws half of his things inside his locker and hangs the military suits. He closes the locker after grabbing a zipper hoodie he puts on before walking towards the door, stopping as he fixes the hood at the back. His military boots squeak a little on the floor but he doesn’t even wince.

“Coming?” He asks, dull, unimpressed eyes on Changkyun.

_I don’t need you to protect me. I don’t want to be disliked._

“I have work to do,” Changkyun mumbles into his locker as he hangs up his own uniform.

“Suit yourself,” Kihyun says and the door closes once he exits.

When Changkyun is sure he’s gone, sure he won’t come back because he forgot something, he sits on his bed, doesn’t have to crouch, a few centimeters between his head and the top bunk, lies down and breathes evenly as he lets himself cry. He wipes the tears like he’s waiting for them to finish.

It’s a selfish, loud, ‘ _I don’t want to die_ ’.

Because that’s what happens to Rangers. They go out there, and sometimes they come back. But eventually, they don’t.

 

 

Morals and ideals don’t change. No matter how many times a person Drifts with another, morals and ideals stay the same. But there’s a strange kind of empathy that comes with feeling what the other person feels. To remember what the other person remembers.

It was just a few seconds, the beginning of a Neural Handshake. And yet, Kihyun felt it, that fear that comes so naturally to human beings. The fear of death. The fear of the Kaiju. Things Kihyun thinks about, too, sometimes, but that he manages to quell with his drive to move on, to get something done, to get… revenge.

He’s spent years trying to get here, but now that’s he’s here… He doesn’t know if he wants to be. Not because his resolve is extinguishing or because he feels any less about it than he did in the past. But just like it’s his choice, it should be Changkyun’s choice, too. There’s no point in going out there when there will be someone screaming inside Kihyun’s head, afraid and wanting to come back. Because no one should have to go through that. Not even an idiot like Changkyun.

Kihyun places his tray down and stares at the pudding wiggling at the top right corner. He sits down with a sigh and grabs a spoon, taps at the pudding to watch it wiggle some more.

“You’re oddly ominous today,” Hyungwon scoffs as he sits in front of Kihyun. “Where’s the _angery_ little hamster?”

Kihyun frowns, doesn’t look up. “I will stab you, I swear…”

“Ah, there you are!” Hyungwon snorts. “So, what’s up?”

“Not my mood, apparently,” Kihyun mumbles, stabs at the pudding and takes a bit to his mouth. _Great._ Now he’s eating the dessert first, too.

“When is it ever?” Hyungwon scoffs

“Move up,” Hoseok says, smiling as always as he scooches in to sit next to Hyungwon, takes up more than half the space, too. No dessert on his plate, either, just a double serving of meat and vegetables. Of course.

Kihyun looks between the two of them and then takes another bit of pudding to his mouth. “I tested today…” He says because he might just get it out there before the rumours spread.

Hoseok tilts his head curiously. “I thought they put a pause on the candidate trials?”

“I tested with Im Changkyun,” Kihyun mumbles. “At the General’s request. We…” He blinks. “Are compatible.”

“Uhm?” Hyungwon asks, loudly, putting his spoon down. “How the fuck did that happen?”

“Why would they test someone from the science department?” Hoseok asks, wide eyed.

“We sparred,” Kihyun says, looks between Hyungwon and Hoseok and then down. “It wasn’t even a test, it was just… It was nothing. But the General saw it. Told us to test it. We…” Kihyun takes a deep breath. “Scored at ninety eight percent.”

“That’s it,” Hyungwon says, throws his head back to take the whole pudding cup’s contents into his mouth and talk around it. “I quit.”

Hoseok is gaping, though. “What? _Seriously_?”

“I don’t even like the guy,” Kihyun frowns, takes a spoonful of pudding to his mouth.

“Who does?” Hyungwon scoffs.

“The girls do,” Hoseok pouts. “Dami says he’s interesting. Heard he’s close with Jooheon, too…”

“Jooheon is close with everyone,” Kihyun reminds them.

“I was about to mention Minhyuk too but the same sentiment applies, I suppose…” Hoseok says to his meat, frowning, obviously still processing.

“ _Ninety eight percent?_ ” Hyungwon asks, leaning forward.

“You know,” Kihyun sighs. “I feel like I should be happy about this and yet I’m just… I don’t know. I don’t like it. Neither does the kid. And yet now we’re bunking together.”

“You’re in the Rogue Fox room now?” Hoseok asks. “Shit, the General’s serious about this, isn’t he?”

Hyungwon seems stuck, though, on a confused, “ _Ninety eight?!”_

Kihyun rolls his eyes and finishes his pudding. “Yeah, apparently. I don’t know… I know it’s difficult to find good compatibility but… No one. For five years, no one. And suddenly there’s this guy I detest and apparently he’s Drift compatible with me.”

“Why do you hate him so much, anyway? I know the soldiers are miffed about an unranked kid ordering them around but he seems… Fine?” Hoseok shrugs. “If not a bit odd.”

“Wonho,” Hyungwon says with an even look. “He poked your bicep, squeaked and ran away.”

Kihyun snorts. “Yeah, there’s that odd behavior. I don’t think he’s very good with people. Still…” Kihyun frowns. “He told me to give up. Looked me straight in the eye and told me to give up and dedicate myself to something else.” He scoffs, looks at the mashed potatoes. “Ironic, kind of, considering…”

Hyungwon rolls his eyes, sits back as he shovels a near impressive amount of food into his mouth. “Ah, so that’s why you don’t like him…”

“This is good, though?” Hoseok tries. “You’ve always wanted to be a Ranger… You don’t have to like him for this to work, right?”

“No,” Kihyun mumbles, “I don’t have to like him. But he doesn’t want to do it. And I don’t want to be inside the head of someone who doesn’t want to be there. Or here...”

Hoseok smiles in sheepish understanding. “There hasn’t been a Kaiju in five years. Sounds like they’re giving you time to change his mind.”

Hyungwon grumbles a little, “Ninety eight,” under his breath.

“That’s the thing,” Kihyun says, scoups a bit of mashed potatoes and peas onto his spoon. “I don’t want to change his mind. Just because I don’t agree with him, just because I don’t like him, doesn’t mean I don’t respect him both professionally and morally.” Kihyun shoves the spoon into his mouth and muches. “He’s got his reasons. I’ve got mine. I wouldn't like it if someone tried to talk me out of mine.”

“Fat lot of good reasons will do you when the world ends,” Hyungwon says, shoves the last bit of potato into his mouth (Jesus, he eats fast) and gets up to leave. “Like I’ve said; I barely want to be here, but there won’t be a ‘here’ if I’m not so,” he shrugs, bites into an apple he takes out of his… pocket. Really? “Somebody’s gotta do it.”

“Yeah,” Kihyun says, looks down at his tray. _On that we can agree._

 

 

Changkyun could go to his lab, but he doesn’t need to. It’s just numbers, and he can do that anywhere. On his bed seems the best place, really. He takes a quick shower before Kihyun comes back, puts on more clothes than he usually would to sleep, and quickly fixes a small light on the top of his bunk so he can see what he’s doing when he spreads the files out in front of him, starts with what looks the easiest. A mental warm-up, kind of.

His stomach grumbles and he shushes it, frowns and scratches out the equation they’d given him. They weren’t taking important things into consideration, but then again, working with Jaegers is an almost completely different branch of science, by now.

Pseudo-science, they used to call it. Changkyun remembers his father urging them not to go through with the first Drifting trials, that it would be too much for a single brain, but Drifting with somebody else was seen as mind-reading, science fiction.

Like Kaiju were ever going to spring out of a damn slice of life. When the impossible happens, people have to adapt, or they die.

Hell, sometimes they can adapt as much as they want, but nothing’s going to stop a giant goddamn sea-monster from stepping on them.

The numbers swim a little in front of Changkyun, and he frowns at the paper until it stops. It’s been… a long day. Jaeger repairs, shield implementations, weird sparring lessons and then… Well, this. His world getting turned upside down completely for the sake of necessity. Shownu’s desperate, Changkyun knows that. And for good reason, too. Changkyun is still impatiently waiting for the results to come back from the Original Breach, the readings and samples he’d asked for to test his own theory, the theory his parents would never know if it was fact or wild speculation.

From the other readings Changkyun had gotten, the ones that brought him here in the first place… Changkyun’s scared to think he might be right. His stomach grumbles again and the numbers swim. He pushes his glasses up into his hair to rub at his eyes.

He’s tired. Really tired. And he has a stinking feeling he’s not going to feel better for a long, long time.

The door opens and Changkyun barely has time to look before a packed sandwich falls over the papers. And then, a bottle. An energy drink.

Kihyun walks to his locker, takes out a few clothes and a clean towel and walks into the bathroom without a word, slides the small door closed. _No lock._ Changkyun had checked. It doesn’t lock from neither side. Maybe there’s a reason for that.

“Thanks,” he mumbles, again, to no one. And hears the shower turn on.

Changkyun grins a little to himself, knows he might get killed for this but he won’t see anything so what the hell. He picks up his pillow and chucks it at the door, that swings open and hits the wall with a loud _clunk_. “I said, thank you!”

There’s no answer for a while, just the sound of water running. And then silence when the water stops. Changkun glances over and sees Kihyun with--is that just a towel around his waist?!--pick up the pillow from the floor and throw it back.

“If you die of starvation,” Kihyun says, “That’s on me, too, apparently.” And turns back into the bathroom.

_Abs._

Changkyun grumbles to himself, glares at the papers in front of him. “Stupid sexy, handsome soldier dick…”

Kihyun walks back into the room in boxers and a t-shirt and dumps the dirty clothes into one of the laundry bags that he quickly twists around and throws into a corner of the room. He places his combat boots at the bottom, inside his locker, and then reaches for something inside the jacket hanging outside.

A phone.

He pads to the stairs by the bunk bed and effortlessly hops on. The beds are sturdy, but Changkyun still feels his bed shift as Kihyun gets comfortable up there.

Again, Changkyun just feels… awkward. He’s never slept in a room with anyone before. Ever. Hell, he doesn’t even know if he _will_ get any sleep with someone else in the room. He sighs softly, though, moves the papers into a pile and slides it under his bed, glances at the energy drink and decides it’s not a good idea to tempt his sleeping patterns even more, and carefully eats the sandwich over its container.

It’s dry. It’s a little stale. But he’s so hungry, he doesn’t care.

“Hey,” Kihyun calls softly from the top bed. Why his voice sounds groggy all of a sudden is beyond Changkyun’s knowledge. “What’s a, uhm… This ‘exotic mass’ you keep going on about in this paragraph?” Changkyun sees Kihyun’s arm drop from above, phone in hand.

Changkyun squints. Yeah, that’s… his research. “You’re reading my research?”

A few heartbeats of silence and then Kihyun says, “General Son might fool the board with his chit chat, but he doesn’t fool me. I wanna know what’s going on and why, suddenly, everyone is on edge.”

Changkyun smiles a little to himself. Sounds like something he’d do, ironically. “Fair point. Uhm,” he looks down at his sandwich. “You know how the Breach is a wormhole, yeah?”

Kihyun withdraws his arm and the top bed shifts a little. “Yeah, to the Anteverse, right? Or that’s what they’re calling it.”

Changkyun fits the last of his sandwich into his mouth. “Well, for it to be a traversable wormhole, as in sending the Kaiju through to step on all of us, there needs to be exotic matter present, with negative energy density to stabilize it. And the problem is that exotic matter is just that, atoms made from non-baryonic matter, so atoms _not_ made from neutrons and protons and stuff. Building blocks that don’t fit with ours. The Precursors are using a Schwarzschild wormhole to get through, and for that, like I said, they’re sending exotic particles through as well.” Is he making sense? He hopes so. Layman isn’t really a friend of his.

“That implies we’re dealing with really advanced science, though,” Kihyun mumbles. “Because I remember learning in school that general relativity says that if such things exist they’d be in certain places in our universe… I mean, we’re talking about bending the universe as it is… That’s just… insane. And now you say these… people? Can travel between realities...” A pause. “What do these exotic peacocks do then?”

Changkyun snorts a small laugh. “That’s the thing, I need to test their qualities, first. It’s obvious it’s subspace matter, dark matter, whatever you want to call it, but since I don’t know _what_ they’re made of yet, I can’t tell how it’ll affect our reality.”

“You have a theory, though, right? You’re an ass but you’re not dumb.”

“I distinctly remember you calling me an idiot, you know…”

“Idiots have ideas. That’s all.”

“Uh huh,” Changkyun hums, sighs. “My theory isn’t pleasant. Been called a doomsayer a few times by now.”

“Try me,” Kihyun says. “If I wanted pleasantries I wouldn’t be here right now.”

“Fair enough,” Changkyun grumbles, sighs again. “My theory, to put it plainly, is that these exotic particles will have negative mass. If that’s true, then… Essentially, our planet will be turned into one giant magnet for wherever they’re from, and instead of just a few Kaiju coming through the Breach? We’ll pull their whole reality into ours...”

It feels terrifying, really, to say that out loud. He never has. Wrote the papers, but never said it out loud, not even to himself. He shivers, pulls the covers up to under his chin where he’s sitting.

“So…” Kihyun starts, takes a breath. “Every time something came through that first Bridge, these exotic peacocks crossed between worlds. And too many of them makes parallel universes merge? That’s what you’re saying?”

“Not merge,” Changkyun says, softly. “Replace. Negative matter will always crush positive matter. That scar of a Breach will start bleeding and once it’s heavy enough, it’ll… not exactly but think of a black hole? Except instead of crushing, it’s just a big ass magnet for their reality.” Changkyun shivers. “Like I said, it’s not pleasant…”

“You say here that exotic matter must exert enormous pressure to push space-time open… That it’s a bit different from a simple black hole and that… Oh.” Kihyun probably sits up because the bunk bed shakes. “Shit… I think I get it…”

“It’s why I’m here,” Changkyun says, glances up. There’s a slight, slight dip in the bed. “The readings came back as positive for exotic particles. Which is fine, I knew that. But there’s more. Which shouldn’t be possible if the Breach was fully collapsed.”

“What if it wasn’t,” there’s a shift and then Kihyun jumps down from the top bed. He turns to look at Changkyun. “Just because we can’t see it on this side doesn’t mean it’s completely closed. Besides…”

Changkyun blinks at him a little wide eyed.

Kihyun frowns. “It wasn’t just… Them. At the end, we sent something there, too.”

Changkyun just nods. It’s easier to talk to Kihyun when Changkyun can’t… see him. For some reason.

“So, if this is the Bridge,” Kihyun curls his fingers into a circle, “And this is a huge amount of exotic peacocks,” he holds his phone up and then tries to fit it through the circle. Obviously it doesn’t fit, but it serves to exemplify. The circle collapses, grows bigger until the phone fits. “And it will keep growing until the whole world is like… Both worlds… Right?”

Changkyun nods again, brings his knees up to his chest under the blanket. “It’s… all theory until I can test for negative mass. And if it is, then, well… Not just a theory anymore.”

Kihyun lets his hands fall to his sides and looks down. “This research…” He glances up. “Your parents started it, right?”

Changkyun looks away. It’s a scab that never healed. “Yeah. My dad. My mum was on the original Drifting research team…”

“Hm,” Kihyun nods, glances away, too. “I’m sorry. About what happened. Not worth much, I know, but… Whatever.” He rolls his eyes and climbs the stairs to the top bed again.

Changkyun scoffs lowly. “Yeah…” he breathes, lets it linger for a moment before he says, “You too.”

They’ve both lost people. It’s a terrible thing to have in common, but it is what it is. In this world, it would be rare to find someone who hasn’t.


	3. Unknown Variables

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the darkness in the universe doesn’t reveal itself to us, we go out there and chart it. There is no such thing as the unknown. And that’s what’s scary. Because there is only the temporally hidden.

 

Kihyun snores.

It’s a fact of life, opinion has nothing to do with it. The man snores. At least he stops when Changkyun kicks up at the top bunk with a grimace, foot hitting at the dip of Kihyun’s body weight.

Stupid, sleeping in a room with someone else. Changkyun wants his own room back. Hell, he’ll go sleep in the hallway, that’s probably quieter.

When he does fall asleep though, he wakes up a few hours later and Kihyun is gone. Must be whatever internal military clock all these soldiers seem to have. Probably beaten into them at… camp. Training. Whatever it is soldiers do. Generally, Changkyun’s found, it’s not maths.

The Engineers are awake at a reasonable time. When Changkyun wanders in, after being sent back to his room by Shownu to change into his Ranger uniform (“You’re not going out of your room dressed like that, young man.” “But _dad_.”), the main engineer smiles wide at him as she offers him a cup of coffee he gladly accepts.

“Long night?” she asks and Changkyun looks over.

 _Shit,_ he knows her name, why can’t he remember it all of a sudden… it’s a difficult face to forget after all. She's pretty. If Changkyun were to readily admit things, he'd even say she's pretty hot. It helps that she's so smart, really.

“You could say that,” Changkyun says, feels the coffee in his chest, in his damn _soul_.

“Meanwhile,” the girl reaches for the tablet over the desk and hands it over. “The radiation shields seem to be working. We’ve started with the integration of the cockpits into the Jaegers.” She smiles. “It will save us exactly eight minutes. It’s a lot.”

_Hwasa! That’s the name!_

“Great! I assume you’ve tested it with the core active, yeah?”

“Yep,” Hwasa leans in, grins and points at her eye bags, “Been nurturing these babies all night.”

“Shit,” Changkyun blinks, frowns. “Hwasa, you should go take a nap or something… Seriously…”

“Aw, you care!” She smiles and shrugs. “It’s okay. I’ll sleep when I’m dead. Right now, people need me awake.”

Changkyun laughs a little. “We’ve done a _lot_ in just a few days. It’s okay, we need you alive, not just... ‘awake’.” He shrugs, then, finishes the coffee. “So, where do you need me?”

“Overseeing the copulation between the head and the body,” she says very seriously before she barks a laugh. “Sorry, sorry. But yes, that. We wouldn’t want them to glue those cockpits the wrong way ‘round.” She laughs. “Can you imagine?” She makes her voice deeper and goes serious, _“Conn-Pod to Bridge? I think we’re facing the wrong way, can’t see where we’re going.”_

Changkyun laughs. “Glad to see you place your team in such high regards. The General would have both _our_ heads the wrong way round if that happened.”

“Exactly,” Hwasa points at Changkyun. “And I like my head facing front, thank you very much!” She glances at something over Changkyun’s shoulders and frowns. “Now, speaking of the devil…”

Changkyun turns around and sees Shownu, the Marshal, a few other soldiers he’s seen around the Shatterdome, Kihyun and a few well-dressed officials walk out of the main elevator. They’re all looking at the Jaegers while the Marshal talks about something that doesn’t reach Changkyun’s ears.

“Politicians,” Hwasa hisses from behind Changkyun. “I can smell them miles away.”

“Even worse,” Changkyun whispers back. “Americans.”

“Huh,” Hwasa scoffs. “We’ll excuse me, I’ll pretend to be working on something so they don’t ask me questions.” She pats at Changkyun’s back.

Changkyun slumps his shoulders. _Yeah, just leave me here_. “Will do… Won’t do? Whatever,” he grumbles.

The Jaeger they’re working on first is no other than, well, Changkyun’s own Jaeger, for now. Rogue Fox. A whole 1, 980 tons of awesome that Changkyun really doesn’t want to pilot. It’s a Mark-3 Jaeger. Which means _old_. But also new, since she’s been restored and, hopefully, upgraded.

She stands tall, metal upon metal melded against metal. It clicks every now and now, dilating under the heat of the soldering pistols and then cooling at ambient temperature. The nail guns echo through the garage in an encompassing rhythm.

Changkyun glances at the tablet in his hand and looks over the specs. Operative system; Blue Spark 4.1? Needs to be upgraded. Energy Core already upgraded from an Arc-9 reactor to a 10. Still analog, which is great, considering those EMP fields. Easier to fix on the go, as well. Not that Changkyun plans on being anywhere near any of these while they’re on the go, but still. Jaeger A.I upgraded. Nuclear Vortex Turbine needs an upgrade. Stabilizers upgraded. Cooling Vents upgraded. And an Agility Upgrade.

All in all? A really good Jaeger.

“Dr. Im?” Shownu’s voice calls, suddenly. And when Changkyun turns around, there’s a little crowd of people far older than he is looking at him. Kihyun is among them, but he’s looking at Rogue Fox instead.

If Changkyun was naked, this would literally be a recurring nightmare of his, he’s sure.

“General,” Changkyun says, bows a little, clutches the tablet closer and tries not to look as uncomfortable as he feels.

Shownu bows his head just a little and gestures to the dark-skinned woman beside him, “Anna May, the President of the United States,” and then to the man beside him, “And Humbert Walsh, the Secretary-General of the U.N.”

“Shit,” Changkyun says, blinks before flushing, bowing again. Kihyun looks at him and raises an eyebrow. “A--A pleasure to meet you.”

“General Son has been telling us about your research,” the President says. Her voice is soft at the edges but authoritative in tone. “Once you have this new data, how fast can you get the results of your calculations on the table? Will predictions be possible or are the variables involved too stretched?”

 _Changkyun. Your composure. Find it._ “It depends on how complicated the particles are,” Changkyun says, holds onto the little tablet like a lifeline. “Once I have an energy signature for the exotic mass, I should be able to pinpoint possible--er, possible rifts. Shouldn’t take too long…”

The Secretary-General of the U.N. snorts a laugh. “If this turns out to be true, then there are not enough giant robots in the universe to stop it.” He turns to the Marshal, a man Changkyun has seen probably once in his entire life. “We need to start thinking outside of the box before we have you deploy these monsters over our cities.”

Changkyun notices Kihyun licks his lips and roll his eyes as he glances away.

“We do what we think is necessary with what we have at our disposition,” the Marshal says sternly.

“Not everyone sees the difference between a Kaiju and a Jaeger, Marshal,” The Secretary says. “Some people just see monsters trampling all over their homes.”

“Which is why there is an evacuation gap,” Shownu says.

“My point still stands, General.” The Secretary says. “The time to fight is over. It’s time we let science do its thing and find a way to stop this before it happens.”

“With all due respect,” Changkyun says, almost falters when the President (!!!) glances over. “It’s taken far too long for me to actually _get_ this data. I can only start thinking of a solution once I know what the hell is going on.”

“And in the meantime,” the Marshal says, “We will do what we must do to keep the world from crumbling. Be it fighting in a Jaeger or listen to politicians talk about things they don’t know.”

Changkyun scoffs a laugh, shrinks a little once he does. _Whoops._

The Marshal bows to Changkyun, “Thank you for your time, Dr.” And turns around with his rather big entourage following after him.

Kihyun looks over his shoulder for a moment and sticks his tongue out before looking away.

Changkyun frowns in surprised amusement. What the hell was that?  


 

Today has been a long day. Tour in the morning. A fancy lunch Kihyun has no idea why he was invited for. Meetings in the afternoon. Another stupid, useless meal (dinner) Kihyun regrets saying yes to. And more meetings.

Changkyun is already in the room by the time Kihyun arrives, but Kihyun ignores him for the sake of quietness (he spent the whole day listening to idiots talk about things they don’t know) and starts by kicking off his boots into a corner, throwing his military hat over the table and unbuttoning his jacket.

He’d take a tough day as a recruit over this shit. But it is what it is. And it’s not his job (or his place) to say otherwise or think of even saying ‘no’. Hopefully, Shownu will forget to invite him tomorrow.

_A man can dream._

Kihyun hangs his jacket and changes t-shirts. He only remembers there’s someone else in the room when he hears papers rustle over the bed.

_Right._

He knows he needs to break the ice. Or at least try to. He knows he needs to do _something._ Try to get on the kid’s good side or at least avoid sounding spiteful when talking to him. Kihyun can do that. It’s for a good cause.

But he forgets about Changkyun again while busying himself with hanging the pants he was just wearing. He throws the used shirt into the laundry bag and takes extra time brushing his teeth because he feels like he’s falling asleep at some point.

But finally, a bed. And a mattress he drops onto once he reaches to top of the bunk.

Changkyun yelps a little like he’s been startled. _“Shit,_ I forgot you were here…"

“Oh,” Kihyun says, muffled against the soft pillow. “Same.”

Nothing for a while, just papers, Changkyun muttering to himself under his breath, which turns out to almost lul Kihyun into sleep like a little song, a low background noise.

“Uhm. Are you still awake?”

_Or not._

“I am now.”

“Oh. Sorry...”

Kihyun sighs and shifts onto his side. “Don’t wake someone up and then say nothing. What is it?”

“Oh, I--I was just gonna ask you why the President was here today..? Are they checking up on us or something?”

“They fund us, so yes… They were checking up on us.” Kihyun frowns, remembers the Secretary-General of the U.N.’s face and frowns some more. “And throw some stabs around, too, it seems.”

“What do you mean? Were they mean to you or something?”

Kihyun rolls a little onto his back and blinks lazily at the ceiling. “Not me specifically… But it still stings when they are nitpicky about the things you stand for.” He stretches an arm up as if to grab the light on the ceiling. “The U.N. guy and the Marshal were at each other’s throats the whole day…”

More papers, in the corner of his eye he can see Changkyun bending over the bed a little to move the papers in under it. “About what he said? Science before Jaegers or whatever.”

“A bunch of that, yeah… And some more.”

“They’re gonna keep funding us, though, right?”

“Even without a Breach, they’re supposed to keep us going for the next fifteen years, at least. It was an agreement made between World Nations five years ago. Twenty years, just in case. And then it’s over.”

“Unless something happens, of course,” Changkyun sighs, lets out a groan as he, Kihyun assumes, lies down.

“Unless something happens,” Kihyun agrees. Frowns. “Which is what, apparently, the U.N. accuses us of… Wanting something to happen.”

“What the fuck?”

“Yeah,” Kihyun rolls his eyes. “Something he told the Marshal. That… Maybe we’re just eager for things to go wrong so we can feel useful again. All because the Marshal was defending his standpoint…”

“Well… The U.N’s got a point, though. The Military always thinks that if somebody builds a bomb, you gotta just build a bigger one, nevermind the people that die in the process...”

Kihyun sits up at that. “You can’t be serious, right now…”

Although, of course. Of course, Changkyun would say that. At this point, Kihyun thinks this man pretty much exists to spite him.

“What,” Changkyun scoffs. “You think the people of San Francisco, Los Angeles, Hong Kong, hell, the people who lived in Busan before it turned into an armory--wouldn’t agree with him?”

Kihyun frowns, glares at the wall. “You know as well as I do that we tried _everything_. The Jaegers helped when everything else failed. He only hates the Jaeger Program because it’s money right out of his pocket. Sure, cities get trampled on during some of the fights… Shit, I was--” He was there, too. And he lost someone to that, too. “But there would be no one left to rebuild the cities if not for those who get inside those machines every time and fight for the rest of us to have another chance…”

“It feels like stalling, at most. If the Jaeger Program worked--actually, properly worked--I wouldn’t _be_ here right now, begging for data so I can try and fix this damn mess…”

“So what?” Kihyun scoffs. “Even if it’s just stalling. You wouldn’t be here at all, or me for that matter, without it.”

“They had to collapse a matter bridge. They didn’t need to punch it. And they clearly did a shitty job at it to begin with.”

“Then do better!”

“I’m trying! If the General didn’t insist on making me a fucking Kamikaze pilot--”

“Is that it?” Kihyun grips at the sheets. “You really think we-- _Jesus,_ for real?!” He laughs but it’s bitter. This is becoming borderline insulting. _And here I was trying to be nice for your damn sake._

“Statistically? Yes. How many pilots survived the last war, mm? Two? Out of how many?”

“Just because we go out there… Just because we _want_ to go out there, doesn’t mean we have nothing to lose. In fact, we have _everything_ to lose. Rangers don’t put on a suit and leave to die. They go out there and fight because that’s what they _can_ do.”

“You’re romanticising the ideals, the propaganda they want you to believe so you _will_ go out there and die…”

“If I wanted to die, I’d be dead a long time ago.”

“Nobody _wants_ to die. It’s just a damn hero complex that makes you think it’s okay to die in a Jaeger instead of whatever the hell else.”

“Hero complex…” Kihyun scoffs, tongues at the corner of his lips.

“Yes, a hero complex.”

“Don’t talk about what you don’t know, kid…”

“Don’t call me a kid.”

Kihyun takes a deep breath, a chest bubbling with anger never really helps. And now he’s not sleepy anymore. Which doesn’t help either.

“Why not?” Kihyun asks just because, lets himself fall back so the bunk bounces.

“ _Because,_ ” Changkyun grits out. “You’re doing it because you feel superior to me.”

“Maybe, or maybe because you’re talking about things you don’t know,” Kihyun mumbles, tugs at the sheets so they cover him as he lies back and rolls to his side.

“Isn’t that the military’s job? And hey, it’s my opinion. Just because it doesn’t align perfectly with yours--”

“Opinions are like assholes, Changkyun. Everyone has one and most of them stink.” Kihyun buries his face into the pillow and nuzzles in. “Just because you wouldn’t do it, doesn’t mean you get to shit all over people’s ideals. You don’t know me personally, or any of these people for that matter. So, maybe what you say applies to someone in the world. But it doesn’t make it the rule.”

“Then neither does yours,” Changkyun mumbles. “I’m still the one that has to--” Changkyun stops, sighs, his mattress squeaks a little under him and he reaches to turn off the light. “Nevermind. Sorry I said anything.”

Kihyun frowns, tugs the covers over his shoulder. “You don’t have to be here, you know? In this room. I do. But you don’t. So, feel free to walk away if you want to.”

Changkyun scoffs. “Subtle way of asking me to leave, that…”

_This brat..._

“Just because I don’t like you, doesn’t mean I don’t _need_ you,” Kihyun admits and sighs, closes his eyes. Maybe that will bring the tiredness back. “But I would hate to do this with someone who doesn’t want to be in that Conn-Pod with me. So, I’d rather not do it at all.” And, for some reason, saying it hurts a little. Because Kihyun really, really wants to do this… Even if his partner stinks this much.

Changkyun doesn’t say anything for a bit. So long Kihyun thinks he may have just fallen asleep.

“You really don’t like calling it a cockpit, do you?” Changkyun asks, then, voice small.

Kihyun snorts, hides his face in the pillow. His throat feels a little tight. “A pit for cocks.”

“Reminds me of that scene from Indiana Jones… Yikes…”

“Shit… I haven’t watched a movie in ages…”

“I was alone for years. What else was I supposed to do…”

 _Alone for years… Right,_ Changkyun lost his family, too.

Kihyun opens his eyes for a moment, sees dark, remembers something he heard once and, despite himself and despite the situation, repeats it, “Someone told me once that when you join the Jaeger Program, you join a family. Maybe it won’t be the most functional family you’ve seen… But, in here, people stand for each other, if you let them. So… You’re not alone anymore. Even if you leave, you carry the family with you.”

“Yeah?” Changkyun asks, voice a little small. “Never even shared a room before…”

“Lucky you, it’s me,” Kihyun snorts and then shakes his head, closes his eyes again.

“At least you’re neat.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“You should,” Changkyun scoffs. “It’s all you’re gonna get.”

 

  


Changkyun nearly throws his apple at someone when Jooheon sits down in front of him with absolutely no prior warning.

“Jesus,” Changkyun says.

“Nope, just me,” Jooheon smiles wide, eyes like little crescent moons. “I’ve been told you sit alone in a corner. It’s sad. Join the cool kids table.”

“What fucking cool kids table?”

“This one, obviously.” Jooheon shakes his head and picks up his fork. Or is that a spork? Yep. A spork. Jooheon stabs his pasta a bit, more like murders his pasta with how overcooked it is, and shovels it into his mouth. “So,” he starts, munching, “How’s it going?”

“Fantastic,” Changkyun deadpans, smiles like he’s a robot that learned how. “Why do you ask?”

“Well,” Jooheon shrugs, “Last time I saw you? You and Captain Stern were having a moment. How did that turn out?”

“Oh, we had a little heart to heart, and then made out in the janitor’s closet, obviously.”

Jooheon pauses mid shoving more pasta into his mouth and narrows his eyes for a moment before saying, “You’re shitting me,” and shoving the pasta into his mouth. “I know he’s gay, but he’s not _that_ easy.”

“I am, indeed, shitting you.” Changkyun frowns, though. “How did you know he was gay?”

“You hear a thing or two…” Jooheon shrugs. “Okay, joking. I saw him with some guy this one night we had time off. Don’t think it was anything serious, though. Surprising? Yes,” Jooheon makes a face. “Who would have thought Captain Stern could crack a smile? Teeth showing and all? The creepiest experience of my life.”

“It’s been known to happen,” Changkyun mumbles at his food. Is there a cheese shortage in the world or is the PPDC just cruel? “And how do you know they were a thing, anyway?” _Why do you care, Changkyun? You don’t._ “People might think _we_ make out in the Janitor’s closet.”

“Why do you think I said he’s not that easy?” Jooheon frowns. “They made out for a while there. That’s how I know. Never saw the guy again, though. And this was like… a year or so ago.”

“Maybe Kihyun killed him,” Changkyun says, seriously.

Jooheon points his spork at Changkyun. “Ah! Now, there’s a thought!”

Changkyun leans in, eyes narrowed. “Maybe he knew too much…”

Jooheon gasps. “He seduced him and then killed him! Maybe got laid in the process?! Damn. That’s smart. A black widow spider!”

Changkyun scoffs. “Pretty sure he would have killed _me_ by now if I wasn’t supposed to be his left hemisphere. Without the getting laid, obviously.”

“Well, I don’t know,” Jooheon frowns and looks up, lips pouty, “When you share memories, don’t you share _all_ the memories? Sex included.”

“ _Ugh_ ,” Changkyun groans, head back. “Don’t _remind_ me.”

“Wait… Did you see something?!” Jooheon leans in, eyes wide.

“No,” Changkyun grits. “Not… yet, I guess. Ugh, I seriously wish this place had alcohol…”

Jooheon grins, “Maybe I can help with that. The alcohol, I mean.”

Changkyun blinks, glances over. “Suju?”

“Or scotch,” Jooheon shrugs. “Minhyuk and I know a guy.”

“I dread to think,” Changkyun scoffs, then sighs. “But hey, at least poor Captain Stern won’t get any of _my_ past sexual misdeeds. Primarily because they don’t exist. Huzzah.”

Jooheon snorts. “Yeah, but now you’ll remember how it _feels_ without ever having done a thing.”

“Greeeeat,” Changkyun says. “He’s taking my mind virginity, too, along with my will to live.”

“That’s the worst part!” Jooheon cackles and slams a fist on the table as he laughs. “You won’t even be having sex with him. You’ll be having sex with the guys he fucked!” He laughs again. _“Ohmygod!”_

“Can you _shut up_ ?!” Changkyun hisses, ears red. “Who says I even _want_ to have sex with him, you’re just--” He looks around. “You’re loud!”

“Oh boy,” Jooheon stops but not really. “No one said you wanted to have sex with him, except you.”

“I said I didn’t!” Changkyun defends. _Wow, it’s hot in here._ “I just--didn’t want you coming to any conclusions or whatever.”

“I mean,” Jooheon snorts, tries to keep his composure, “I know he’s kind of pretty? But I wasn’t really suggesting… Oh god, Changkyun, don’t…”

“Don’t.” Changkyun blinks slowly. “What?”

“You’ve been staring at him, it’s written all over your face…”

Changkyun throws his hands up. “He parades around the room with just a towel on! It’s not my fault!”

“Uh-huh,” Jooheon says, putting food into his mouth like he’s eating popcorn.

Changkyun glares. “You realise. You asshole. That he’s going to remember this conversation once we Drift, right?”

“Yep,” Jooheon laughs. “It’s great. He’s also going to know you enjoy watching him when you think he’s not looking.”

Changkyun gapes. He doesn’t!

...Does he?

Jooheon laughs, “Calm down, I was joking. I know you're not ga--”

 _No._ “Look,” Changkyun says, evenly. “And Kihyun, if you’re remembering this, fuck you, but mostly, yes, you’re not terrible to look at. You have abs! It happens. Doesn’t mean I like you.” He flicks a pasta at Jooheon. “Happy?”

Jooheon bites both lips in and glances up and then down.

“Sure,” Kihyun says from behind Changkyun. “By the way, the General wants to see us.”

A part of Changkyun’s soul withers and dies.

“Yep,” he says, though, like it didn’t. “Course he does.”

Thankfully, Kihyun doesn’t say anything on the way to the General’s office. Although, at this point, Changkyun doesn’t know what’s better; not knowing what Kihyun is thinking about being a good thing or not knowing what Kihyun is thinking about being a bad thing.

“Ah, there you are,” Shownu says the moment they walk in. He doesn’t tell them to sit, though. “Considering what’s happened so far, and I’m going straight to the point here, which I think you’ll both appreciate... We have found five more candidates.” He looks at Kihyun. “You will test with them, just in case. But either way, maybe we can find an alternative. Not that I think we should, since your score is high and the more the merrier. But…” Shownu glances at Changkyun. “If you’re still bent on leaving the spot open, this might be your chance.”

Changkyun is sure he should be relieved. He isn’t, though.

“Great,” he says, claps his hands together. “When can we start?”  


 

“Four to one,” Dami says, sighs and turns to Changkyun. “Why are we doing this _again_?”

“Because,” Changkyun says, leans against the wall and pouts.

“Because? _Seriously?”_

“Pay attention to the sparring,” Changkyun laughs. It’s not going _well_ , really.

Seola drapes herself over Dami and pouts. “Kiki is being tested again, though.” Seola glances at Changkyun and pouts some more, “Wasn’t he with you?”

“I’m not a soldier,” Changkyun says, at the same time Dami replies with; “Yeah, ninety eight percent. Hyungwon wouldn’t shut up about it.”

Seola blinks. “I’m not a soldier, either.”

Changkyun frowns, looking away from Kihyun pulverising a poor soul and to Seola. “What?”

“I joined the Jaeger Program as part of the Psychology department. But then I met Dami and we clicked. She told me to train for the trials because she thought I’d do good.” Seola smiles. “And we turned out to be Drift Compatible!”

“Psychology?” Changyun asks. _What._ “Seriously? How-- _Okay_ .” Changkyun looks to Kihyun again. That throws _that_ excuse out of the water. “Well, still. Maybe he’ll match with someone who wouldn’t need so much training…”

“Poor Kiki,” Soela whines, “Nobody wants him!”

Changkyun frowns again. “It’s not about wanting.”

“Yes, yes, I know,” she pouts. “Still… must hurt. I’d be crying like a baby if I’d failed to find someone. It makes you think you know,” Seola nods, “If there’s something wrong with you.”

“I’m fine being alone, thanks,” Changyun sighs. Is that how Kihyun feels…? Maybe they do have more in common than Changkyun originally thought.

“Three to three!” Dami says, jumps with a smile. Changkyun blinks, looks up. It can’t be that easy, can it?

This test was to see if there were any other options. And yet, Changkyun realises in that exact second, he actually… _wanted_ to be the only option.

Kihyun is blinking at this, apparently, American guy, probably twice his size. And the American (of course he’d be _American_ ) guy is blinking back at him. They blink at each other for a few more seconds and then Kihyun bows and returns to the lineup. The other guy follows suit, returns to the recruits and whispers something to them, odd expression on his face.  
Changkyun’s not sure, but he doesn’t like him. Maybe it’s the stupid buzz cut or the chiselled jaw. Either way, it annoys him.

“No way,” Seola mumbles, eyes wide.

“Test them,” Changkyun frowns and Seola just blinks at him. “The, er, Neural Handshake. Try it with them.”

“And if it works?” Dami asks lowly without glancing over.

“Then congrats…” Changkyun shifts uncomfortably. “Someone wants him.”

“Dr. Im?” he hears and blinks over. One of the interns for the science department. “General Son says we received the data from the Pacific Breach.”

“Shit,” is Changkyun’s first reaction. He nods, though, looks to Dami. “Just check, okay? I need to go…”

“Sure…” She says, looks at him as he walks away, eyes a little wide in utter confusion.

Changkyun’s chest feels tight. This is the moment of truth. He finds himself looking back, though, at Kihyun standing on one side of the sparring matt, five people on the other. Either Changkyun comes back to that room, ready to hear he’s the only Drift Compatible outfit, or he comes back to tell Kihyun the world might just end. One in the same, but it still feels like being stuck between two big ass rocks.  


 

Five years. _Nothing._ Nothing but whispers. And suddenly? Kihyun is compatible with two different people. Once? Happenstance. Twice? Coincidence.

It’s different though. Having experienced it not so long ago makes it easier to compare. With Changkyun it had been confusing, stupidly confusing. But it made sense. Sure, maybe they’re not the bestest of friends, but Kihyun can see it working (if it wasn’t for Changkyun’s fear and mayhaps something else in the mix).

But this new guy? First of all, he looks at Kihyun like Kihyun is a chihuahua. Which pisses Kihyun off to no end. Secondly, he boasts _a lot._ Kihyun hates people who are all talk. Thirdly? It’s awkward. Beyond awkward. And the fifteen minutes it took for the two of them to get to the Bridge to test that stupid, probably misplaced Drift Compatibility were the most awkward fifteen minutes Kihyun has had to go through.

Jooheon stares at him and frowns. “Suddenly, you’re popular.”

“I assume,” Kihyun says, with trained patience, “That you can’t relate.”

Jooheon grumbles something to himself and taps around the control table. “Alright, put your helmets on, ladies.”

They do, and when Jooheon presses that now familiar red button, it feels…

Tight, is perhaps the best way to explain it. Squeezing into a small space.

There are images, but Kihyun makes out a scarce few. Disconnected. There’s determination, anger, self-righteousness and hatred. The need to prove someone wrong. And, maybe, something more.

Maybe Changkyun wasn’t entirely wrong. Maybe some people do think getting into a Jaeger will get them somewhere in life. Then again, it’s better than nothing. It doesn’t matter their reasons, as long as they deliver.

The images keep flashing behind Kihyun's eyelids.

There's curiosity. There's attraction. And then nothing.

It’s over faster than Kihyun remembers. He slips the helmet off and places it over the table, heart a little tight with an anger that is not his own. If Kihyun had to name it, that tight frustration, he’d call it ‘rage’. It’s… disquieting, to like this. In a way that Kihyun is not sure he likes but _knows_ he feels sorry for.

 _You live like this?_ Is all he can think about. Anguish. Such a terrible thing to lean on.

Kihyun glances at the score and quickly looks away. Forty six percent? That’s one percent over the fail line.

The guy frowns, harsh, and when he puts the helmet down, Jooheon jumps a little at the sound.

“Maybe not?” Jooheon says to Kihyun, in low Korean.

“Not really my choice, here,” Kihyun mumbles in Korean, too.

“Are ya’ talkin’ about me?” the guy asks in a crass American accent. “I don’t speak Chinese.”

Kihyun blinks at Jooheon, tries not to look too desperate, and then looks over his shoulder at the American guy, Nate, was it? “I apologize,” Kihyun says in English. “It’s just barely over the fail line, that’s all. Still counts as a pass, though.”

Nate scoffs before he shrugs, smiles. _Oh no..._ “Guess we’ll just hafta try harder then.”

“Sounds good,” Kihyun says. He’s starting to hate this Neural Handshake business. A shallow dive into someone’s mind and Kihyun is already feeling sorry for them. _Doesn’t help that the guy is kinda pretty… Pretty? Nah. That’d be--_

Nope! _We are_ not _going down that road, Yoo Kihyun._

_Try harder. Try harder._

Right. Trying harder. He’s been doing that for years, after all.  


 

It’s just water what they bring back, give to Changkyun to test. It’s just some soil samples and water from the bottom of the Pacific, but Changkyun’s stomach sinks the moment he holds it in his hand. _You don’t need a degree in particle physics to know this is mildly fucked up._

The machine whirs next to him, tries to make sense of the elements in the water, and Changkyun focuses on his breathing. He doesn’t need to run that test, not really. Part of him doesn’t want to. A theory, a hypothesis, is one thing. Fact? Fact is terrifying.

He turns the vial in his hand. The air bubble stays at the bottom. He turns it again and nothing changes. It weighs in his hand like he’s holding liquid steel instead of water.

He puts it down and it thuds on the table surface. It reminds him of the one ring, from Lord of the Rings.

 _‘Shit… I haven’t watched a movie in ages…’_ Kihyun had said.

There’s a loud _(it’s quiet in here, probably not that loud, Changkyun)_ knock on the door.

“Hey, man?” Changkyun hears Jooheon call. “You in there?”

Changkyun stands up, steadies himself on the table for a minute before walking to the door, putting his code in and walking back.

“Come in, make yourself cozy…”

Jooheon smiles in that way that makes his cheeks dimple. “Hey… Busy?” He asks as he walks in. “Nice place you’ve got here.”

Changkyun scoffs. Everything in here is white or metallic, clean and clinical. “Thanks. I think the microscope really adds to the feng shui of the place, don’t you think?”

“Yeah,” Jooheon chuckles, shoves his hands into his pockets and sighs. “So, hey… I was just at the Bridge and, uhm…” He looks at Changkyun. “Forty six percent.” He says and then adds, “I assume you know what I’m talking about.”

“Yeah,” Changkyun says, stares at the machine. _Round and round it goes_. “Barely a pass… What’s he like? The--er, the candidate.”

“Like,” Jooheon scrunches his nose a little and sways, “Most American soldiers I’ve met. Kinda pretty? In a Chris Hemsworth kinda way. But he said he’s willing to work on it, maybe that will work. The Captain agreed.”

“Course he did…” Changkyun glances at the vial, picks it up and tosses it over. “Catch.”

Jooheon fumbles, eyes wide when one of his hands gets stuck in his pocket, but he manages to catch the vial between palms, like he’s stopping a sword before it slices him open. He blinks, looks at the vial. “Is this..?”

“Highest concentration of exotic matter I’ve ever seen,” Changkyun frowns. “Heavy, isn’t it?”

“I was wondering if that was the glass,” Jooheon mumbles. “Guess not..?”

Changkyun smiles a little. “Open it.”

Jooheon frowns at Changkyun. “Why… do I have a bad feeling about this..?” He looks at the vial. “It won’t eat me right? The water…”

Changkyun laughs. “No! I promise, that’s not carnivorous water, _God…”_

“Alright,” Jooheon sighs, pops the vial open and then watches in pure horror as the water goes up, slowly, like gravity doesn’t affect it. “What… _the fuck…”_

“Negative mass,” Changkyun says, watches the water float up in a blob, a few drops falling to the floor. “Our worst nightmare…”

Jooheon lets his hands fall to his sides, vial between loose fingers, and watches the water float. “I’m… gonna get busy soon, aren’t I?”

Changkyun sighs. “Yeah. I’ll… give you the readings soon. Input it to the energy sensors. We need to know where more of--” Changkyun gestures at the ‘water’. “This stuff is. Just in case.”

Jooheon looks down. “Kyun…” He glances up. “I hope… I hope you’re wrong…”

“Me too, Jooheonie, me too.”

Jooheon looks at the vial in his hand and then at the water that is almost near the ceiling. He sighs and walks to the table where he places the vial and its cap. His hands are trembling a bit but he probably notices it because he shakes them. “Shit…”

“I’ll… I’ll figure something out,” Changkyun says, tries to smile even with his throat so damn dry he can’t swallow. “I’ll try, at least…”

“I know,” Jooheon says, turns around like a zombie and walks to the door where he stops. “Everyone is trying, _at least.”_

The machine stops whirring. The chemical components flash on the screen.

_78 % - [Unknown]_

_12 % - H2O_

_Various Trace Elements Found - [Unknown]_

“Forty six?” Changkyun asks as he stares at the screen.

Jooheon shuffles his feet on the floor and sighs. “Yeah. I second guessed, but the Captain said it wasn’t his choice. Whatever that means...”

“It’s not his choice,” Changkyun says evenly. “It’s mine.”

 

 

It’s different. And now Kihyun knows why.

As someone who works mostly on the offense, Kihyun can tell that this guy, Nate, is reckless. Because he’s not just on the offense _all_ the time. He also acts without thinking. Which makes him both unpredictable and reckless.

No one wants _reckless_ anywhere near an organized battlefield where everything counts. But maybe that’s something Kihyun can teach him. _If_ the guy is willing to learn.

So far? He’s more bent on beating up Kihyun than anything else. As if that will help and not set them even more apart. Wasn't there supposed to be some sort of attraction? Go figure. _Maybe it was just me._

“Where did you train?” Kihyun asks just to make casual conversation, twirls his sparring stick once as they both walk around the ring.

“California,” Nate replies, cracks his neck side to side. “An’ you?”

“Joined here, first,” Kihyun says, looks at the lines on the floor, “Then transferred to the Shatterdome in Japan, Tokyo. And now I’m back here at personal request.”

“Ya like it here?” Nate asks, squares to attack low. It’s a bit… obvious. So, Kihyun counters and spins away instead of counter-attacking.

“Sometimes,” Kihyun says, taps the sparring stick on the floor and turns to face Nate again, just in case. “The view is nice. The rest? Is just the same.”

“Still, must be nice to be ‘round your own people,” Nate shrugs.

“It is,” Kihyun admits, “The only downside is that they understand when I swear at them,” he snorts. “Did you transfer from the States?”

“Came over to the testin’,” Nate says, attacks even as they make conversation. “S’pose I’ll be... stayin’ if y’all want me, though.”

This time, Kihyun counter-attacks. Nate is a lot stronger than Kihyun, but Kihyun’s never been much about strength and more about skill and agility. Still, he needs to roll away when Nate manages to almost score a hit.

“Well,” Kihyun starts, frowns a little. It’s weird but it’s not… bad. “Unless they find you someone more compatible? I guess we’ll be in each other’s heads sooner or later.” He sighs and then snorts a laugh but quiets quickly. “My leftie left me. And you’re the only other match I’ve got so… We’ll have to do.”

Nate frowns. “Why’d he leave you?”

“He…” Kihyun takes a deep breath, side steps and then attacks but Nate counters and Kihyun needs to step back. “Didn’t want to do it. We just happened to match. That’s all.” He tilts his head. “Have you Drifted before? Which side do you usually take? Left? Right?”

“Right,” Nate says. “An’ only once, long ago.”

Of course he takes Right. Someone this determined? Obviously the Lead pilot. Whatever reasons Nate has, Kihyun will know when they drift. But then agin, Kihyun doesn’t mind being Left. As long as he gets to do it, as long as he gets to pilot, it’ll be fine.

“Alright,” Kihyun says, cracks his neck. “Let’s dance, then.”

“With two right feet? Good luck.” A familiar voice says teasingly.

Kihyun pauses and so does Nate. Only Nate glances at the door, though. Kihyun just sighs.

“The hell do you want, _kid.”_ Kihyun asks without really asking and glances over.

Changkyun puts a hand to his chest in mock offense. “Your words. They wound me.”

“Ah, you’re the doctor, right?” Nate asks.

“Why, you got a rash?”

Kihyun frowns, turns to Changkyun. “Why are you here? If it’s to piss me off then can it wait? I’m busy right now.”

“I can see that,” Changkyun mumbles in Korean before smiling at Nate. “Mind if I have this dance?”

“Er,” Nate says, looking at Kihyun.

“Your time for dances is up, kid,” Kihyun says, turns around as he glances at Nate and taps the sparring stick on the floor. “Ignore him.”

“Alright,” Nate says with a frown, looking back and reading himself.

Changkyun leans in the doorway and watches as Nate gains momentum with a quick spin, ducks to hit at Kihyun’s shins. But Kihyun jumps and stops his stick just a few centimeters away from Nate’s head.

“Seven to six,” Kihyun mumbles. “Again…”

“Fighting, _forty six_!” Changkyun whoops from the sidelines.

 _This kid… is an asshole._ Nothing new there, though.

Kihyun strikes first this time and Nate counters. Again, it’s nearly impossible to counter him with how much stronger he is. All Kihyun can do is dodge and wait for an opportunity. It feels a lot like running, to be honest, and it can get a tad frustrating after just a few minutes.

Maybe, it’s the pent up frustration. Or maybe Kihyun is just distracted, but he missteps and stumbles forward a little, and Nate barely stops the sparring stick as he taps it over Kihyun’s chest.

Kihyun frowns. “Seven to seven…”

“Nathan Sinclair, was it?” Changkyun asks from the doorway and, before he gets a reply, he says; “You’re dismissed.”

Kihyun blinks first and then turns to glare at Changkyun. “What _the fuck_ are you doing?”

Nate looks confused, to say the least. “Did I do somethin’ wrong?”

“No,” Changkyun says to him, turns to Kihyun. “We don’t have time for you two to play catch up. Forty six isn’t good enough.”

Kihyun frowns. “Forty six is all I have.” _What the hell is this idiot going on about now..?_

Changkyun sighs, looks to Nate again. Actually looks apologetic, too. “Report to General Son. He’ll fill you in on what happens now.”

Nate nods, frown still in place as he puts the stick back against the wall. “See you ‘round?” Nate asks Kihyun as he makes his way to the door, Changkyun stepping aside.

“Anytime,” Kihyun mumbles, smiles small and then looks away when Nate disappears into the corridor. “Honestly, I’m starting to think you exist to ruin my life.” Kihyun says out loud.

“Why, your type, was he?”

Kihyun scrunches his nose and looks at Changkyun. “What?”

“Nothing.” Changkyun looks at the wall next to him, an odd, tense expression on his face. “I got the data back. From the Pacific Breach.”

_Oh._

Kihyun’s heart catches on the breath he misses. _Right…_ So, it begins. “Is that why you’re here?”

“In a way,” Changkyun says, smiles a little. “Found some heavy peacocks…”

Kihyun watches Changkyun’s face for a while. _You look scared._ And that, for whatever reason, makes Kihyun scared, too. “Didn’t ask for an autograph?” He asks tonelessly.

“Couldn’t reach them on the ceiling.”

Kihyun snorts and glances away. The anxiety in his chest evens out for a moment before it’s back. _Stupid ninety eight_. “So… We’re all going to die, anyway.”

“Nah,” Changkyun says, pushing away from the wall, arms crossed as he walks closer. “I’ll think of something. Call it a hero complex, if you like.”

Kihyun tilts his head and narrows his eyes. “Glad you said it first. ‘Cause I was totally gonna do it…”

“Reading your mind already,” Changkyun says, and then, “You were right, by the way.”

“About?” Kihyun asks, looks down, taps the sparring stick on the floor.

Changkyun squints at the stick in Kihyun’s hand. “Not sure. Something about… If you want something done right, do it yourself?” Changkyun shrugs, toes at the back of his shoes before kicking them off.

Kihyun smiles a little to himself. Again, anxiety evening out for just a moment before it’s back. “Or maybe you’re just jealous,” he says, glances at the door, sees no one and then looks at Changkyun. “That I’d be arguing with somebody else instead of you.” Since apparently, that’s all he and Changkyun are good at doing. And yet, they scored a goddamn ninety eight.

“Maybe they’re bad at arguing and then you win,” Changkyun grins, grabs a stick and jumps onto the mat. “Can’t have that.”

“One day,” Kihyun says, turning to face Changkyun, “That stupid mouth of yours is going to get you killed.” Kihyun tilts his head. “God, who knows, maybe I’ll be the one doing the deed.”

“You need your Leftie,” Changkyun says, spins the stick--in his left hand, no less. _He’s left handed..?_ “Your threats don’t scare me. The _snoring_ , though…”

Kihyun raises an eyebrow. _Leftie, though. He heard that?_ “You whimper in your sleep, ass.”

Changkyun narrows his eyes, “Guess you’ll find out why,” and, clearly unpractised (this is only his second time, after all) makes to hit at Kihyun.

Kihyun counters. Finally someone he can send stumbling back a few feet. “Ah, right. The mind probing.” Kihyun rolls his eyes. “Can’t wait.”

“Must you say _probing_?” Changkyun groans, not lifting himself from the mat as he sweeps the stick at Kihyun’s feet. “It’s almost worse than cockpit.”

Kihyun falls, ass on the floor and sighs. “Yeah? Then listen to this,” he looks at Changkyun as he stands up. “Mind probing _in_ the cockpit.”

“Gross,” Changkyun laughs, holds his hand out to help Kihyun back up.

Kihyun stares at it and glances away as he takes it. “At least now it won’t be awkward when I see myself in a towel,” he mumbles and then shoves Changkyun’s hand away, looks at him. “Right?”

“Right. Give credit to stray thoughts,” Changkyun says, attacking in a way he must have seen Nate do earlier.

It’s easy to counter, but Changkyun counters the counter. And just like that, they enter one of those annoying loops where neither of them loses.

It’s annoying. But at least it keeps the mind away from other things. Darker things. Like whatever is coming their way.

 

Changkyun tells Shownu about Kihyun, about choosing to stay. He tells Shownu about the exotic mass, and Shownu tells Changkyun to keep it quiet. Changkyun tells him whom he’s told, and Shownu just nods, dismisses him, and Changkyun ruminates on his way to dinner.

He’ll go mad. If he stays in that lab, trying to think of a way to save the world, he’ll go mad. There are a lot of things to consider, enough that even in five years of staying in a lab and going slightly mad in preparation, he couldn’t have foreseen half of them. Kihyun is a good fighter, a good soldier and, Changkyun is realising, a good person.

If anyone’s going to teach Changkyun how to be whatever kind of fighter he needs to be for this, it’s him.

Then again, it’s hard to teach courage. Changkyun knows he could be brave, if he wanted to, and that bravery in itself isn’t the _lack_ of courage, but action despite it. But maybe that’s not what he needs to do this. He’s not sure what he needs, but…

But he wonders if he should go sit at the damn cool kids table.

He recognises all of them, obviously. Kihyun is there, the only singleton. Dami and Seola laugh about something and Hoseok gapes at Hyungwon who manages to fit an entire chicken leg into his mouth.

Changkyun takes the food and hovers. There’s an empty table in the corner of the room. It’s always empty. Probably because it’s right next to the bathrooms, now that he thinks about it…

Jooheon isn’t here, either. So, Changkyun hovers in his indecision.

 _The stronger the bond, the better you fight_.

That’s why forty six percent wasn’t really going to cut it.

And yet, Changkyun doesn’t have a clue how he’s supposed to… bond.

“Are you rooting in there?” Kihyun asks him, looking over his shoulder with a frown as he munches something. He looks much softer like this, somehow, cheeks filled with food. It’s cute.

 _And that’s going to come back to bite me in the ass_. Goddammit.

Changkyun walks over, though, struggles to keep eye-contact with the girls, with Hoseok and Hyungwon. Everyone here is just… unfairly attractive, seriously. He sits down next to Kihyun, though, bows his head at them a little awkwardly. “Wasn’t sure you would want me here,” Changkyun says to Kihyun under his breath.

“You’re going to be inside my head in a few days,” Kihyun mumbles without looking at him. “There’s no bigger invasion than that so whatever.” He tosses his onions into Changkyun’s plate. “Don’t want them.” And then looks at Hoseok. “Did she say why, though?”

“Nope,” Hoseok replies. He grins. “Maybe she wants to confess?”

Hyungwon chokes on something and Hoseok pats at his back. Kihyun just narrows his eyes and then focuses on his food again.

“Who are you talking about?” Changkyun asks, eyes on the onions. He likes onions… And apparently that’s something that crossed over, something that Kihyun caught onto.

_Is this Kihyun trying to bond…?_

“Oh, one of the senior Rangers!” Hoseok says, smiles at Changkyun. “Said she’d like to train with me. For no reason, apparently.”

“Probably because you look like that.”

Who said that? Did Changkyun say that? _Shit._

“Oh god,” Kihyun mumbles mid chew, a soft frown forming on his forehead. _Those eyebrows really work wonders._ “Spare me…”

Changkyun stares at Hoseok a little wide eyed. “I--I just meant--” Changkyun just looks down at his plate and stuffs an onion into his mouth.

Kihyun shakes his head, picks another piece of onion with his fork and moves it to Changkyun’s plate. “Did you tell the General?” He mumbles lowly to Changkyun.

Changkyun nods, swallows. “Yeah. Seemed pretty smug about it.”

Kihyun snorts. “Of course he did,” he looks at his plate. “The guy loves being right. Not sure I’d be happy about being right… Not about this shit, no.”

Seola guffaws when Dami tries to poke a green pea and it jumps off her plate onto Hoseok’s glass of water.

Dami just leans in to look at the pea. “Look. Earth.”

The corner of Kihyun’s lips tips upward and he looks down, picks up a smaller pea and reaches over, throws it into the water (to Hoseok’s dismay). “The moon.”

Hyungwon blinks slowly, reaches for his apricot.

Hoseok gapes at him. “Don’t you dare.”

 _Plop_.

“The sun,” Hyungwon deadpans.

“I hate all of you,” Hoseok groans lowly.

Changkyun burst out in a laugh, tries to hide it behind his hand. Seola cackles, as well, as Hoseok fishes out the apricot and aims it at Hyungwon’s head.

“Stop wasting precious resources!” He yells.

“I am a precious resource!” Hyungwon yells back.

Kihyun snorts a laugh, nods at Hoseok. “You heard him.” Tilts his head to Hyungwon.

“He’s a menace, is what he is,” Hoseok says, picks up his own apricot and chucks it. Hyungwon ducks and the apricot hits a girl two tables down. Hoseok stares, wide eyed. “Oh, god.”

Kihyun barks a laugh and then slaps a hand over his mouth, curls a little over the table and hides his face as he trembles.

“You--” Changkyun wheezes.

“Isn’t that the girl that asked you to help train her?” Hyungwon asks.

Hoseok groans. “Hyungwon, I swear to God--”

“It _is_. Wow. Who’d have thought.”

Dami peeks around Hoseok’s arm. “That’s a pretty impressive throw, actually. Were you aiming for her head, too?”

Hoseok whimpers a little before he scrambles up and hurries over to the other table.

“You know,” Kihyun starts, snorts a laugh before he goes on. He points at Hyungwon. “That’s _not_ how you get him back.”

“Who says I want him back?” Hyungwon asks casually.

“Literally everyone,” Dami blinks. “Did you not know that? Goodness...”

Kihyun snorts another laugh and shakes his head. “Next time, take the damn apricot to the head.”

Changkyun is still laughing, though, face behind his hands. It earns him a blind elbow on the arm from Kihyun, though Kihyun is still kind of smiling when Changkyun jumps a little and looks at him, smiles a little, too.

“Is that how you do it?” Hyungwon asks. “Smash fruit over your head?”

Kihyun rolls his eyes and looks at Hyungwon. “Ah, yes. My favourite way to pass the time.”

“I,” Hoseok says once he’s back. He pauses for a breath and sits down. “Am never trusting any of you lot again.”

“I wonder how that Drift is going to go,” Seola grins at Hyungwon.

“You think I have shame?” Hyungwon says, looking at Seola with a slow blink. “After all this time of having someone else poke around in my head? Think again.”

“Must be great,” Kihyun mumbles, snorts a laugh. “How long have you been Drifting together?”

“Just after the war,” Hoseok says. “So, what, almost five years now?”

Hyungwon smiles. “Yay.”

“Hey, Kihyun?” Someone says from behind them. Changkyun turns around and sees… _Forty six?_

“Hey?” Kihyun blinks. Nate blinks back.

“We’re goin’ into the city in a bit. Wanna come?”

“Oh,” Kihyun blinks, again, tongues at the corner of his lips and glances away. “Sure.” He gets up, picks up his tray and glances at the others. “Behave.” And then leaves with Nate following after him.

“I guess he doesn’t need to smash fruits over his head,” Seola chirps and Changkyun frowns at the sight of Kihyun and Nate walking away. Kihyun looks… small.

“It’s totally a ‘title’ thing,” Hyungwon grumbles.

Seola laughs. “Keep telling yourself that.”

“Guess I’ll let you guys know if he gets lucky,” Changkyun comments, eyes moving back down as he smiles at his plate.

“Oh right,” Hoseok points at Changkyun. “You two are going to Drift!” He frowns, leans over the table. “How come you’re both nearly at one hundred percent, though?”

Changkyun shrugs, picking at his food with his fork. “Dunno. Can’t say we get along that well, so…” And shrugs again. “Sometimes I feel like we could? But I don’t know.”

“Hm,” Hoseok nods and sighs. “He doesn’t let people in that easily. Not anymore, at least. But… Give it time. Maybe you’ll become friends.”

Changkyun scoffs, a little bitter. “He doesn’t like me. So I doubt it.”

“Do you not like him, either?” Dami asks, tilting her head a little.

Changkyun shrugs. “Newton’s Third Law.”

“For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction?” Seola asks.

Changkyun frowns. “Yes. Ignore the… opposite bit, though.”

“Who knows,” Hoseok shrugs. “Maybe it needs to come from you.”

“Pretty sure it’s coming from Nate, right now,” Changkyun scoffs.

Seola cackles. “Oh, man.”  


 

Everytime there’s a sound outside, Changkyun looks up, expects the door to open. It’s better when Kihyun’s _here_ , at least, then Changyun won’t be so damn anxious about when the guy’s gonna get back.

Every equation reminds him of what he predicted. He’d given Jooheon the readings, tuned the energy sensors in to pick anything up, and left.

“Ugh,” Changkyun groans, pushes a file off his bed. He pouts at it when the pages scatter. “Whoops…” He sighs and picks them up, though, just to push them back under the bed.

He can’t _concentrate_. Everything is just--it’s a lot. When he gets up, though, his muscles burn a little. That sparring thing had really taken it out on him… He really isn’t used to this kind of thing. Should probably get used to it, though.

Still on the ground, Changkyun hooks his feet in under the bed and wiggles forward, knees bent with his back on the floor.

“Five,” he says to himself. “Just do five of ‘em.”

He’s winded after three, throws his arms out to his side and breathes.

“Goddammit.”

The door slides open and Kihyun stops at the entrance, frowns when he sees Changkyun on the floor. _Casual clothes_ over green army pants and combat boots. _Charming._

“What are you doing?” Kihyun asks, looks away just to throw something over the table and then walks over, passes over Changkyun, one foot and then the other, to reach the lockers on the other side of the room.

“Situps,” Changkyun says to the ceiling. “Followed by near indefinite liedowns.”

“Because?” Kihyun says, shrugs off his jacket and hangs it.

Changkyun frowns. Stupid ceiling. “Am I not supposed to?”

Kihyun takes his boots off and sighs, walks over and sits down next to Changkyun, leans back and hooks his legs onto the bed. “How many left?”

“Two,” Changkyun blinks. “Out of… fifty…”

Kihyun side-glances at him. “Sure…” He says like he doesn’t believe Changkyun. “Do one, I do the other, then.”

“Okay, but what if I die.”

“I’ll have to find another Ranger, again,” Kihyun snorts. “Don’t worry too much. I’m used to it.”

Changkyun snorts, too. “You’ve got _Nate_ , though… How is _Forty Six_ doing, by the way?”

“Jealous?” Kihyun asks and effortlessly sits up and then leans back down.

_No._

_...Right?_

Changkyun gestures vaguely. “Do the other one, too, I can’t, I’ve ascended this mortal plane.”

Kihyun rolls his eyes and does it, leans back down and sighs at the ceiling. It’s that look again, the one Changkyun catches sometimes. Like Kihyun is looking but not _seeing_.

“Whatcha lookin’ at?” Changkyun asks after a moment.

Kihyun blinks and then looks at Changkyun. “Nothing?”

Changkyun looks back. It’s an odd angle, mostly because Changkyun isn’t… used to it. “No, the other thing.”

Kihyun frowns, unimpressed. He crosses his arms but doesn’t look away. It’s that thing they’re able to do for some reason; eye contact.

And it pulls something out of Changkyun. It feels a little like a confession, but mostly like speaking thoughts out loud;

“They want me to fix it, Kihyun,” he says, swallows past the feeling in his throat.

Kihyun frowns some more but his eyes seem to soften a little. He watches Changkyun’s face for a moment and then asks; “Do you think you can?”

“Maybe?” Changkyun frowns, bites a little at his lip. “I think so… I hope so… Because if I don’t, who will…”

Kihyun takes a deep, quiet breath and breaks eye contact to look at the ceiling but Changkyun keeps his eyes on him.

“Then just keep trying,” Kihyun says, voice soft. “We’ll make time for you if we have to. As long as you keep trying. That’s what… Rangers do. They don’t just fight sea monsters. They make time for people like you to figure it out and then execute the plans people like you come up with.” Kihyun takes another deep breath. “It’s teamwork. No one is alone in this. Don’t let anyone make you feel like it’s your responsibility alone, because it’s not. We’re all just doing what we can do. Not what we gotta do. I should probably learn maths and do numbers with the rest of y’all. Yet… That’s not what I _can_ do...”

Changkyun smiles a little to himself, turns to look at the ceiling, too. “Yeah, well… No good if we go out there and die so… We gotta promise not to, right?”

“I don’t plan on going out there to die,” Kihyun sighs. “Bet your ass I’m coming back.”

Changkyun scoffs a small laugh. “Guess I’m sticking to you, then…”

“Like glue? Nasty.”

“The gum in your hair,” Changkyun says, reaches over to tug at a strand of black hair.

“Heard sea water is great for that,” Kihyun mumbles.

“Good! Tons of that where we’re going.”

“Sure,” Kihyun says, sits up, looks up at his bed and sighs. He makes to get up and then looks down at Changkyun, vaguely holds his hand out for him. “I know I clean this floor, but still.”

Changkyun smiles a little and takes Kihyun’s hand, hefts himself up with Kihyun’s help. “Yay, teamwork.”

Kihyun snorts and shoves Changkyun’s hand away, turns around to go get his things from his locker. “Don’t worry. I won’t let you die.”

 _Let me_?

“Thanks,” Changkyun says, for the first time, not just to an empty room. “I suppose we continue training in the morning? I don’t know how this shit works…”

“We’re Rangers now,” Kihyun says, pulls his shirt over his shoulders and Changkyun sees skin. A lot of skin. “So, unless there’s something specific going on, our time is ours.”

At least, that’s what he thinks Kihyun said. Seriously, so much skin. And back muscles defined just enough to be noticeable.

“Er,” Changkyun agrees. No, wait, he hasn’t done that yet--“Yeah. Whatever you think I should learn, then, I guess.”

“Close combat might be necessary,” Kihyun mumbles as he looks at his clean shirt. _Oh, no. Navel._

Close combat. _Great_. That won’t help at all.

“Would you mind, terribly,” Changkyun says. “Putting the shirt _on_ , now.”

Kihyun frowns, looks over and raises an eyebrow. “Okay?” He says and flaps the shirt once before pulling it over his head. He starts undoing his pants, though.

Changkyun nods. “Thank yo--” _Seriously?_ “I’m going to the bathroom,” he grumbles and walks past Kihyun. Stupid soldiers with their stupid muscles and their stupid… It’s all just really _stupid_.

“‘Scuse me,” Kihyun says, walking into the bathroom (Changkyun forgot to close the door). Kihyun walks to the cupboard, picks up his toothbrush and paste and glances at Changkyun. “Admiring the tiles or..?”

Changkyun glares at the tiles. “You’re doing this on purpose.”

“Remind me,” Kihyun shoves the toothbrush into his mouth without watering it and leans a hip against the small sink. “What am I doing on purpose, exactly?”

Changkyun glares at the tiles. Harder. “Are you always this cocky?”

“That’s an interesting word. Depends.”

Changkyun rolls his eyes, glances back and reaches for his own toothbrush. “Somehow this is just you stroking your own ego so you can get into my head and be like, _‘ooooh, look at me, prancing about with my abs and blahblahblah_.’”

Kihyun snorts, rolls his eyes and looks away from Changkyun. He brushes his teeth for a while and then spits the paste out. “Not exactly, but good to know. Panicked gay much.”

“ _Maybe_ ,” Changkyun flushes, glares down at the sink to wet his toothbrush. “Bully me for my obvious lack of human contact, why don’t you…”

“Wasn’t going to…” Kihyun mumbles, turns the tap on and fills his mouth with water. He spits it out and washes his toothbrush. “Don’t worry,” he says, puts his toothbrush away and slaps softly at Changkyun’s back as he walks out of the bathroom. “You’re not so bad to look at, yourself.”

Changkyun drops his toothbrush, finds his own confused expression in the mirror’s reflection.

... _What?_

 

 

It’s dark. It’s late. Kihyun is tired. But he can’t fall asleep.

It happens sometimes. Especially, when everything is a mess and very little is certain.

There are flashes behind his eyes tonight, again. Reaching out for a hand that has long turned cold, hoping it’s not too late. Wondering what’s on somebody else’s mind but never having the chance to ask. Trying to make up after a dumb mistake but never having the chance to apologize.

It’s never easy to walk away. To let go from the past. Even when everything shows him and everyone tells him that it’s fine to walk away, that it will be alright… It’s hard because deep down Kihyun wants to stay. Stay in the memories, where everything was happier, brighter, full of hope and simpler.

Regret. There’s a lot of that. But also fear.

 _When the darkness in the universe doesn’t reveal itself to us, we go out there and chart it._ There is no such thing as the unknown. And that’s what’s scary. Because there is only the temporally hidden. An end is inevitable. And it might be just around the corner, in the most unexpected and painful way.

That… that’s what’s been keeping Kihyun alive. The fear of a painful end, an end without a purpose. The end of the world, despite what Kihyun wants to do with his life.

Revenge? Definitely. And maybe now he’ll get the chance. But it’s not that simple anymore. Because now he feels responsible, too. For Changkyun, no less. Someone who doesn’t even want to be here. Someone who’s scared shitless. Someone who’s trying just as hard.

It’s not easy. For any of them. Every single person inside this Shatterdome has their own demons to fight. And no one talks about it. It’s like this common knowledge; everyone is afraid, but everyone pretends they’re not. It helps, in way. It keeps things moving. But…

_But._

Kihyun sighs, listens to the quietness in the room and then, as carefully as possible, makes his way down from the bunk. Changkyun is on the bottom bunk, fast asleep in a little ball, arms wrapped around an extra pillow in a hug. His cheek is squished against the pillow and Kihyun notices the idiot fell asleep with his glasses on. So, Kihyun tries not to sigh, reaching out to carefully take the glasses off and fold them before putting them on the table before heading out.

It’s a little cold outside. But it doesn’t matter. Kihyun walks through empty halls like he usually does when it gets complicated. He walks and tries to keep it in. And hopefully, at the end of the corridor, there’s a light in a room, and someone’s trying to steal ice cream from the kitchens.

Hopefully.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you agree with Kihyun that the end justifies the means, or do you agree with Changkyun that there could have been a better way?


	4. Rogue Fox

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Changkyun’s dreaming but he knows that voice. He looks to his right, and sees a face filled with determination, before it vanishes in a fire that swallows Changkyun, too. And he feels it, twice. He dies, twice.

 

“Changkyun?”

Changkyun reaches for the sound and shoves it away. It feels like a face. “Don’t know him,” he grumbles into his pillow.

Silence. And, suddenly, pain.

“What about now, _dipshit?”_

Changkyun yelps and holds his pinched hand back close to him, squints at Kihyun (just a little blurry but definitely Kihyun) at the side of his bed. “This is how you wake people up?!”

“What do you want, a kiss?” Kihyun grumbles and turns away. “I’m not your mother. Now get up.”

And here Changkyun thought they’d bonded. He glares at the bottom of the top bunk for a moment before kicking the covers off of himself, grumbling all the way to the shower. A very quick shower. Boxers on and towel over his head, glasses a little fogged up, he walks out and squints at Kihyun.

“I guess we’re going training so I shouldn’t wear my Armani suit?”

Kihyun narrows his eyes and then shifts his weight from one leg to the other. He’s already dressed (with that stupid black tank top of his, no less, black lines on his arm). “Do you wear contacts?” He asks, crosses his arms.

Changkyun takes that as a _yes, wear something comfortable_ . He drags his feet on the way to his locker, finds a pair of sweatpants and a tank top of his own. White, though. Ironic. “No. Can’t get my eyes to stay open to put them in. I panic.” _Heh. Eye panic_.

“You know you’re going to need them, right? Can’t walk into a Jaeger wearing glasses.”

Changkyun rests his forehead against the closed locker door like it’s a window with rain on the other side. “Tell that to my eyes, then…” He jumps when he feels a tap over his shoulder. And when he turns around Kihyun takes Changkyun’s glasses off his face.

“How bad is your eyesight?” Kihyun asks, stepping back with Changkyun’s glasses as he looks through them, more like squinting at them. And Changkyun can see _that_ , at least.

“Minus one and minus one point five. Something like that. Not _that_ bad… Bit hard to work with things once they’re more than two feet away from me, though.”

“Well,” Kihyun says, pulling Changkyun’s glasses closer to his own face and squinting some more, “Kaiju are big. You’ll just have to point at the big blur in front of you. _Or…_ ” He lowers the glasses and blinks. “I could force your eyes open while you put on the contacts.”

Changkyun reaches to snatch his glasses back. “None of these things sound pleasant.”

“I had bad eyesight before, too. Worse than yours, actually,” Kihyun says as he walks to the desk to grab his dog tags. “My parents paid for my surgery. It helped, tons.” He glances over. “Wouldn’t be here otherwise.”

 _Right._ Pilots can’t have bad eyesight.

Changkyun stares at his glasses, puts them on in any case. Scientists, though, are nearly infamous for their glasses.

“So,” Changkyun says. “What torture do you have lined up for us this fine morning?”

“Ever heard of taekwondo?” Kihyun asks casually.

“Always avoided it, yes, why do you ask?” Changkyun asks, back, just as casual.

“We’re going over the basic form. And then I’ll teach you a few things.”

“Yay,” Changkyun pouts, as enthusiastic as possible.

And sure enough, not even an hour and a half later, Changkyun can already feel his body protest the muscle ache he’s going to have the next day, the bruises he knows he’ll have. Mostly on his ass.

Changkyun groans on the mat, flops over to his stomach and hits with his palm down. “Mercy…”

“Don’t be silly, come on,” Kihyun says, throws a washed towel over his shoulder and turns to Changkyun. “You have five minutes to grab your ass from the floor. Come on.”

Changkyun puffs, frowns, moves his face to glare a little at Kihyun. “I hate that you’ve not even broken a sweat… I’m dying here.”

Kihyun frowns. “I assume leaving your bed is the most exercise you get on a daily basis? That and jumping every time someone touches you.”

“Ha ha,” Changkyun says, flushes lightly as he gets up. _I do that?_ “Not like you do linear algebra on the daily, so.”

“No, but apparently I’m a pretty good shot, which means I can still hit your head from all the way across the Shatterdome.”

“Good to know.” Changkyun stretches his arms out on top of him, makes a little sound before they drop. “Alright, show me again.”

Kihyun raises an eyebrow. “You keep missing your balance point,” he waves Changkyun closer. “Leg.”

Changkyun frowns, walks closer. _Is he supposed to lift it?_ He scoffs to himself at a funny thought, lifts his leg high enough to hook the ankle on Kihyun’s shoulder. Changkyun has always been flexible; unfit, but flexible. Which seems to take Kihyun by surprise. His eyes go a little wide and he blinks, and then his chin wrinkles a little when he makes a face.

“Not exactly, but good to know,” Kihyun says.

A small moment passes. And while Kihyun mostly looks confused, Changkyun _feels_ confused. Mainly because...

“I think I’m stuck,” Changkyun says, tries not to fall over, or laugh, or both.

Kihyun rolls his eyes and brings one knee down to lower himself so Changkyun can hop off. “That is like… the worst sentence you could have come up with in this situation.” Kihyun doesn’t let Changkyun’s leg fall to the floor, though, fingers at the calf to hold it up. “Alright.” Kihyun starts as he gets up, holds Changkyun’s leg by the side of his hip while Changkyun just wordlessly tries to maintain balance on one foot. “See? Wobbling. If I poke you, you’ll fall.”

“Don’t poke me, then?” Changkyun tries, wobbles with his arms a little out. “Okay, uhm, I don’t know where my balance center whatever you called it is…”

“You’re using your heels,” Kihyun says as he looks at Changkyun’s foot. “You deposit all your weight onto your heels. You need to bring it forward a little, distribute that weight through your foot, get more stability.”

Changkyun frowns, wobbles a little more but slowly starts feeling more stable, even lets his arms fall by his sides. Hopefully, having stupidly flat feet will help in this situation. “Am I doing it? I feel like I’m doing it.”

Kihyun smiles a little, eyes still down. “Yep. You’re good.”

“Ooh, can you say that again? After I get someone to record it, obviously.”

Kihyun glances up and, before Changkyun can say anything else, pushes Changkyun’s leg closer at the same time he gives a step forward and brings a foot behind Changkyun’s other leg, making him fall after their faces almost smash.

“You sure you want someone recording this?” Kihyun asks.

“Audio only,” Changkyun squeaks from the floor, eyes wide on Kihyun leaning over him.

Kihyun snorts a laugh and lets Changkyun go, turns away. “That would sound like the type of thing Jooheon listens to when he thinks no one is on the intercom.”

“ _No_ ,” Changkyun gapes from the floor. “Seriously? _Jooheon_? He blushes like--” Changkyun snaps his fingers. “That.”

“Oh, he was blushing alright,” Kihyun chuckles. “Also, because he realized I was listening. Turned into a tomato and then went nuclear.”

“Oh, god,” Changkyun laughs, stands up as quietly as he can. “Minhyuk’s influence, probably.”

“Minhyuk?” Kihyun asks, throws the towel near the wall. “They have a thing, don’t they?”

“As far as I can tell,” Changkyun says, and it doesn’t _look_ like Kihyun’s noticed so he takes a few quick steps forward and lunges forward. Except, of course… Of course. Kihyun side steps and headlocks him, throws a foot behind Changkyun’s legs and flops him onto the floor.

Changkyun falls on his back but quickly, as if on instinct, locks his legs around one of Kihyun’s and makes his knee bend. It wasn’t very well thought out, though, because Kihyun falls on top of Changkyun. When their chests clash, Changkyun feels all the air escape his lungs. He’s dead. And the worst part is;

Kihyun laughs. He snorts a laugh and then rolls to the side to let Changkyun breathe and keeps on laughing.

First, Changkyun frowns at him like he’s not sure what he’s seeing (he’s not, really) but then he’s laughing, too, shoves at Kihyun. “Hey! I tried, okay!”

Kihyun covers his face with his hands and snorts another laugh. Changkyun’s pretty sure he’s never heard Kihyun laugh like this. It’s a lot… higher than he’d expected? It’s nice. It’s stupidly contagious, too, with how Changkyun keeps shoving at him.

“Stop laughing at me!” Changkyun complains but keeps laughing, anyway.

Kihyun rolls away, still laughing a little as he gets up. “Jesus…” He sniffles and then coughs, shakes his hands a little. “You made the weirdest sound.”

“You fell on me!” Changkyun defends, flush.

“You made me fall on you,” Kihyun corrects, looks over his shoulder. “Next time make sure I fall on the floor.”

“I was just… Reacting,” Changkyun frowns at the ceiling. “Maybe if I get into your head I’ll be a better fighter, who knows…”

“Oh, definitely,” Kihyun says, smiles a little. “Among other things, but yeah…” He frowns a little. “Are you… worried about it?”

“About what? Being a bad fighter?”

“No,” Kihyun says, glances away, “About being inside my head. I know I have… baggage. It’s why I’m asking.”

“We all have baggage,” Changkyun mumbles, sitting up. His ass hurts, Jesus Christ. “And I… kind of already know yours. A glimpse, anyway. But no, the giant sea monsters are definitely scarier than whatever you and Nate did the other night.” Changkyun shivers. “ _Barely,_ though.”

Kihyun blinks. “Wha…” And for the first time ever since they’ve known each other, Kihyun blushes. “What the hell are you talking about?”

A blush. That proves it, then. Changkyun shrugs. “I had a feeling. And hey, no judgement, he looks like… I don’t know, not my type but well done, I guess.”

“I…” Kihyun says frowning, stepping over, “Am going to kill you.”

Changkyun puts both hands up, laughs. “Hey! Whether I know it now or see it later, makes no difference to me.”

“Get up,” Kihyun orders. “I wanna throw you on the floor again.”

“Kinky-- _Ow!_ ”

  
  
  
  
  


They spend the whole day training. Changkyun has a faint suspicion they’re going to be doing that a lot, now. He’ll probably never be able to walk right again. Well, one day, maybe, when his muscles atrophy or some shit, but _not today_.

The regulation beds aren’t exactly comfortable, but once he’s in it, it’s like being on a damn cloud. He doesn’t even bother trying to solve any equations, just flops down after a quick shower and welcomes unconsciousness with open arms.

His dreams don’t let him rest, though.

Changkyun’s suddenly so damn cold. The worst part is that he’s somewhat aware that he’s dreaming, but even so, he can’t stop it; make himself fly, make whatever he wants happen in his dreams the way he’s heard other people do. Instead, he just gets to relive the cold, the fear, his mother begging him to hide before climbing into one of those metal deathtraps Changkyun now needs to pilot. The Kaiju falls, and so does the Jaeger. It happens again, and again, and again. It’s numbing.

Except where he’s used to watching from a small screen inside a panic room underneath a cold research lab, now he’s--now he’s--- _oh god_.

He looks down at his hands--a uniform, dampeners, neural pathways all around the suit of armour--”No!” he screams in his dream and it echoes, and when he looks up, it’s into the maw of a Kaiju.

“Hey, hey…” he hears, feels warm fingers around his wrist. “It’s okay…”

Changkyun’s dreaming but he knows that voice. He looks to his right, and sees a face filled with determination, before it vanishes in a fire that swallows Changkyun, too. And he feels it, twice. He dies, twice.

Changkyun jolts awake, and his hands hurt from where he’s grabbing at something, a shirt, Kihyun’s. He looks up at Kihyun, eyes wide and face wet. _I’m going to die. We’re going to die._

There’s a hand at the back of his head that pulls him closer. “It’s okay…” Kihyun says and Changkyun feels skin against his nose. Kihyun’s neck. “You’re okay.”

The images roll behind Changkyun’s eyelids every time he closes his eyes, like an old movie. And each image brings forward an emotional response he’d rather avoid, a cry he doesn’t want Kihyun to hear but.... no one’s held him this close, like this, since he was a child.

His mother.

The thought alone makes Changkyun’s chest ache and voice break in a small cry. “I’m so--sorry…”

“Don’t be,” Kihyun whispers. He sighs, holds Changkyun a little closer. “You didn’t ask for this. So, don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault.”

“It’s too much pressure,” Changkyun cries, tries not to but-- “Why me? Why--Why did it have to be me..?”

Silence. And in the silence Changkyun hears a heartbeat that isn’t his own.

Is this how it feels? Because, in theory, people are Drift compatible when they hold a strong bond that allows them to Drift. Doesn’t necessarily have to romantic. Close friends. Family members.

But… Changkyun barely knows Kihyun. Hell, until a few days ago Kihyun probably hated Changkyun’s guts. So, why? _Why me? Why you?_ Why them?

“‘Cause someone else might have gotten it wrong…” Kihyun mumbles, suddenly, like an answer to a silent question. He leans back a little and brings Changkyun with him. “Just let it go…”

Changkyun clings, knows he shouldn’t, it’s embarrassing and he’ll probably hate himself for it later, but Kihyun is warm and he smells nice and it helps, in a way, to not be alone. “How..?”

“Punching guys usually helps,” Kihyun says and then snorts a soft laugh, “Chances are they actually deserve it, so… I’m joking, please, don’t do that.”

Changkyun laughs a little, too, sniffles. “I’m--I’m sure I can find someone who deserves it…”

“Maybe. Everyone deals with things in a different way,” Kihyun mumbles, cards his fingers through Changkyun’s hair. It is… so stupidly soothing and just makes Changkyun want to cry more, memories of his mother’s hand in his hair, promising everything would be okay. “Whatever helps you get back on your feet. No one will judge you for it. If it’s morally acceptable, of course.”

“Maybe we’ll--” Changkyun sniffs. His chest still hurts a little at the edges but the images are fading. “Punch a big ol’ amphibian alien… That should do it…”

Kihyun chuckles. “That’s what I’m hoping…” He breathes slowly but loudly and in a way it helps Changkyun steady his own breath, like his body is desperately searching for a rhythm to follow. A rhythm Changkyun can’t keep on his own right now.  

And maybe that’s it. Maybe, beyond whatever personal connection will grow out of this, the two of them just have the ability to work in sync with each other. It’s not the first time it’s happened. Strangers have been found to have Drift compatibility before. But only because the compatibility is a potential that exists between two people.

So, maybe that’s all it is for them. It’s simple. It’s chemistry. It’s pure potential.

Kihyun shifts a little, brings one hand up to furiously rub at his nose and then lets it go limp between them. “You don’t have to tell me,” he says, then. “But… When was it?”

_Ah. The question._

“You’ll know soon anyway…” Changkyun sniffs again, closes his eyes. “Five years ago… Right at the end of the war... Everyone died except for me…”

“I’m sorry,” Kihyun says and it sounds sincere. Changkyun frowns a little, eyes scrunched closed to stop the tears.

“They thought I was dead, too…” Changkyun sniffs. “The military, the rescue team, they--they came to check but I was so scared I just kept hiding…”

“Yet you’re here, alive,” Kihyun says, takes a deep breath. “Sounds like a fighter to me.”

“Or a coward…”

Kihyun’s hand on Changkyun’s hair stills. “Doubt I’d be Drift compatible with a coward. Just because you hid, doesn’t mean you’re a coward. You survived thanks to that. And you’re here now, helping. Doesn’t sound like a coward to me.”

Changkyun smiles a little. “You’re… actually kind of nice, you know…”

Kihyun scoffs a laugh. “They don’t just call me Captain because they thought I’d look pretty in an uniform, you know…” He sighs. “Before I came here, I worked for the CSIS. We had a team. I lead. Apparently, I’m good with people. Just not Drift compatible with them.”

Changkyun is finally breathing evenly, chest heaving when Kihyun’s does, hands gripping a little looser. “Then--and seriously, don’t get offended by this--why do you… Push people away?”

Kihyun seems to pause, even his heart seems to go mute for a moment. But then he clears his throat lets out a soft breath. “Baggage…”

Changkyun scoffs softly. “Same… I think that might be the 2% keeping us from a full score… Your baggage makes you push people away and I just…” Changkyun sighs. “Want to stop being alone…”

“I told you before, you’re not alone anymore. Seriously, you’ll miss being alone after a while. Wait until the General needs a favour that involves you having to listen to him talk from the other side of the bathroom stall.”

“Wait, seriously?”

“Yeah,” Kihyun chuckles but it dies quickly. He lets his hand fall from where it’d stilled on Changkyun’s hair and sighs. “He likes to keep me busy… He knows it’s… my way of coping.”

“Same…”

A pause. A heartbeat. A breath in tandem.

“Five years ago,” Kihyun starts and Changkyun looks down, sees Kihyun’s hand fumble with a line on his own shirt, “There was a quick deployment. A diversion. While everyone else worried about the Breach, my parents were stuffed in a Jaeger fighting a Cat 2. Yeah, I know, not that big… But it was fast and a quick learner at that…” Kihyun manages to pluck the line from his shirt. “They had to self-destruct. But the pods were damaged so they couldn’t escape. I guess… at least it was quick.”

Changkyun’s eyes water a little again. He remembers that. A taste of it, anyway, the loss Kihyun had felt. “I’m sorry…” Changkyun says, squeezes Kihyun a little tighter. It helps him, the touch, the warmth of another person. So maybe it helps Kihyun, too.

“You’ll probably figure the rest out,” Kihyun mumbles. “It’s the bit I don’t like to share, unless I have to. So… after that’s over with, let’s get that fuckin’ 100%. Yeah, Ranger?”

Changkyun smiles, hits Kihyun’s chest softly with the flat side of his fist. “Fuckin’ ace, yeah?”

“Hyungwon will be having nightmares in binary. It’ll be great.”

  
  
  
  
  


“Get your ass over here,” Kihyun grumbles.

Their room is in a complete disarray. Mostly because Kihyun has been chasing Changkyun around for the past thirty minutes. Which is a feat, considering it’s their fifth day training together (officially) and Changkyun’s batteries barely have some life left to give him.

They spent the whole day at it, again. With a small break for Changkyun to go over a few numbers while Kihyun did some favours for Shownu. And now it seems this is part of Changkyun’s training, too. Running away from Kihyun and the damn contact lenses.

Changkyun throws the pillow down at Kihyun from where he’s perched himself on the top bunk. “This is a violation of my basic human rights!”

“The United Nations also say I’m allowed to marry and yet Korea won’t let me,” Kihyun says. “Come down here and get this thing in your eye.”

“No, I live here, now, thank you.”

“That’s my bed,” Kihyun deadpans.

“It’s my house, have some respect.”

“What?” Kihyun makes a face. “It’s my house, too! I’ve lived here longer than you have, Snow-boy.”

“Well, it’s a joint-mortgage now,” Changkyun frowns. “I’m not letting you put your finger anywhere near my eyeballs.”

“Alright, that’s it,” Kihyun says. And then reaches for the stairs of the bunk and quickly hops onto the top bed, grabs Changkyun’s ankles and pulls him closer. “Get here, you little shit.”

Changkyun yelps, turns his body and clings to the railings. “This is assault! I did not consent to this!”

“You--” Kihyun groans, climbs over Changkyun to pry him away from the railings, “You have to get used to having them on, idiot!”

“I’m used to my glasses!” Changkyun says, wiggles around to try and get free after his hands slip from the railings. In the meantime, Kihyun manages to take Changkyun’s glasses away. “Give ‘em back, you--you-- _bad person_!”

“You’ll have to work on that dirty talk, cupcake, now get… Over here! Ugh...”

Changkyun scrunches his eyes closed, smacks his hands over his face. “What if you stab me in the eye, huh?! Then I’ll be completely useless! Bam, no more Jaeger for you!”

“Well,” Kihyun says as he straddles Changkyun. _Wait. What?!_ _No, stop that!_ “I still have Nate. I guess he’ll have to do…” Kihyun sighs and then adds, “Would probably gets us both killed, though,” under his breath. “Now, come on… I disinfected my hands three times for this!”

Changkyun slowly lets his hands fall. He’s pouting, squinting up at Kihyun. Struggling around in _this_ position isn’t going to do _either_ of them any good. “ _Fine_ … It won’t be easy, though, I’m serious, these puppies are like Fort Knox.”

Kihyun scrunches his nose. “You seriously have to work on that dirty talk…” He opens one of his hands and reveals the lens cases.

“Can you not say that while you’re sitting on my lap, thanks.”

“Yes, yes, whatever you say…” Kihyun mumbles. His hands are still wet. He brings one contact out of the case onto his hand and then squeezes some solution over it. “Left eye first.”

 _I can’t believe I gave this asshole my prescription_ . _By accident, too!_

Changkyun huffs a breath and opens his eyes, looks at some spot on the ceiling, but the closer Kihyun gets with his finger, the more Changkyun squints. He looks almost apologetic about it, too. “I can’t _help_ it…” he whines.

“Okay look at me, see my finger?” Kihyun says as he brings his other hand to his own eye and holds his eyelid up. “Can you do this? And with with your other hand to press on the lower part, just a little.”

Changkyun frowns at him. “Stop making it look so easy.”

“Pussy.”

Changkyun smacks Kihyun on the arm, hard. “My mother said never to use that word as an insult, so you take that back, Yoo Kihyun.”

Kihyun rolls his eyes. “Just do what I told you. You’d fight a Kaiju but you’re going to lose to a lens? For real?”

“You can’t punch your eye reflexes…” Changkyun grumbles, brings his hand up to keep his eye open. At least he’s trying.

He sees Kihyun’s finger closer, feels Kihyun lean a little to the side to see what he’s doing. His eye really wants to close so Changkyun pretends he’s looking at the longest equation he’s ever seen. It doesn’t work the first time, just a wet finger against his closed eyelid and he giggles, says sorry, and they try again.

There’s a slight poke and something clinging to his eye. His instinct is to throw Kihyun across the room and yelp, but then Kihyun uses Changkyun’s finger over the lower lid to fix the lens.

“Blink…” Kihyun says softly. “Does it hurt?”

Changkyun blinks, keeps blinking. “No, it just feels really fucking _weird_...”

“That’s what he said,” Kihyun says and then smiles a little. “These are expensive, though, so they should be comfy. Might even forget you’re wearing them. Next one?”

“That’s what she said, too,” Changkyun smiles back, sighs, holds open his other eye and they go through the same thing. God, it really doesn’t feel right. Kihyun was right about having to get used to them. When he’s done blinking, though, he can-- “Wah, this is weird, I can actually see you!”

“Yeah, I know, I’m beautiful,” Kihyun snorts as he rolls to the side and sits next to Changkyun, closes the cases and puts the solution back in the box.

“Try not to sound so smug about it,” Changkyun says. _No, you’re supposed to be disagreeing, you idiot_. He keeps blinking at the ceiling. So many weird little shapes. Huh.

“You okay?”

“I have 20/20 vision and my glasses aren’t pressing into the bridge of my nose when I try to lie down. I’m great. Still feels fucking _weird_ , and I don’t think I can do that on my own…”

Kihyun scoffs a laugh and then jumps down from the bed. How he does it without breaking a leg is beyond Changkyun’s mind. “You just want me to chase after you again.”

Changkyun sighs, throws his arm over his head. “It’s nice to feel wanted.”

“Come on,” Kihyun chuckles, “It’s almost dinner time.”

“Oooh, I should pretend to bump into all the tables like I can’t see anything, it’ll be great.”

“Suuuuuure,” Kihyun says. “And then, when ten guys wanna jump you, don’t come screaming for help. Idiot. Now move!”

“Ten guys? Damn. Talk about wanted.”

  
  
  
  
  


Pleasantries aside (there aren’t many besides finding joy in the stupid little things), training with Yoo Kihyun is actually like starting a game on hardcore level without ever having played games before. Changkyun knows he’s learning. But he only catches it when he manages to fend and counter and throw a happily wide-eyed Kihyun onto the floor.

The days pass way too fast, though. And the sinking feeling in Changkyun’s stomach turns into a black hole that makes him digest food ten times faster. It also hurts, a lot. An anxiety that messes up his fluids and makes him want to throw up.

And then sometimes--and this is the _weirdest_ fucking thing, because Changkyun knows how it works, compatibility is what it is--but sometimes Kihyun has the best timing Changkyun’s ever experienced. Just when Changkyun is spacing out, solving equations he could swear he’s seen a thousand times before, Kihyun will say something, anything, and knock him out of it. Or when he’s overthinking something, looks too serious, Kihyun will make some sass-filled remark or say something clever and Changkyun will just…

_Ugh. This is because of the damn nightmare hug bonding, isn’t it._

It’s also the weirdest thing, because Changkyun _wants_ Kihyun to like him.

He knows Kihyun thinks he’s an asshole, which, honestly, fair, but Changkyun still just… Wants to be liked. It’s a very human thing to want, a pretty selfish thing, but while he knows it’ll all work even if all Kihyun does is tolerate him, he--

“The stronger the bond, the better you fight,” he tells his potatoes. They don’t seem to have any opinions on the matter, though. He glances around, spots Kihyun--because of course he does--talking to Nate--because of course he is. Maybe the novelty of the American accent has worn off, though, because Kihyun is frowning. A lot.

Kihyun says something. Changkyun has never been very good at lip-reading so he misses it. And then Nate walks away and Kihyun frowns some more, looks around and spots Changkyun.

Changkyun quickly turns to stare at his potatoes. Perhaps they have an opinion on this? He prods them with his fork. Apparently not.

“Hey,” Kihyun says not even five seconds later, sits down next to Changkyun, back turned to the table as he leans back against it and crosses his arms.

Changkyun blinks up at him, raises an eyebrow. “Hey,” he says, glances back over to where Nate had gone to sit with a bunch of other foreigners. “No seconds, then?”

“I haven’t eaten yet…” Kihyun mumbles.

Changkyun scoffs. “I was talking about Yankee boy over there.”

Kihyun frowns, but doesn’t look over. Doesn’t look in Nate’s direction either. “I don’t like complicated.”

“Go for it, then. I’m pretty sure he thinks String Theory is a knotting technique.”

Kihyun scoffs a laugh, turns around in his seat and crosses his arms over the table. “I’m fine, thank you… Potatoes, again?” He looks between Changkyun and his plate.

“Hey,” Changkyun points his fork at Kihyun. “Don’t mock my potatoes. I like potatoes. They’re the hugs of vegetables.” He lowers the fork. “Not very chatty, though...”

“Not when they go in, at least,” Kihyun snorts, leans back to look around. “I should probably get something to eat before the kitchen closes…”

 _Actually, yeah. Now seems about right._ “Go, go… I wanna talk to you about something, if that’s okay.”

Kihyun looks at Changkyun and frowns. “Sounds… ominous…”

Changkyun scoffs. “It’s not. Just wanna get it out there before tomorrow.”

Kihyun blinks and then gets up, “Alright… Be right back then.” He says and then (probably on purpose) takes the farthest route to the kitchen just to avoid Nate’s table.

 _Don’t like complicated, huh_?

Changkyun finishes his potatoes. He moves the tray aside just as Kihyun sits down, though.

“So?” Kihyun asks, an awful amount of karaage on his plate.

“La ti do,” Changkyun mumbles under his breath, straightens up a little to look at him. “Right. So--” _La ti do_. “I’m sure you’re aware that I’m not the… best at people.”

Kihyun keeps his eyes on his food and snorts a laugh, “No shit, Sherlock.”

“Yeah, that, thanks. _Anyway_ ,” Changkyun sighs. “I know isolation or social ineptness or _whatever_ lead to me acting like an apathetic asshole all the time. It isn’t an excuse, but I wanted to say… Sorry. For what I said that day we met, after the trials…”

Kihyun pauses. Just a heartbeat. And then reaches for his fork and stabs a piece of chicken. “Thank you,” he mutters before he stuffs his mouth.

 _Thank you_ doesn’t sound like the normal response to this sort of situation… Is it?

“I,” Changkyun goes on to explain, just a little, for his own state of mind, maybe. “I’m not used to people, and not just in the way you think, it’s… difficult for me to think that there’s a different way for everyone, because I’m not _used_ to that. It’s why I like numbers so much. It’s either right or it’s wrong and that’s never the case when it comes to people and--” Changkyun sighs again. “All I saw that day was a soldier with a broken leg trying to run. I didn’t know you. I didn’t consider the variables. What I told you that day… I thought it was a kind thing to do, but it wasn’t, it really wasn’t. So… I mean it. I’m sorry.”

Kihyun glances up, keeps chewing in silence until he swallows and looks back down. “I know you are. That’s why I said ‘thank you’.” He pokes at another piece of chicken. “I figured… Not at first. But after a while, it became kinda obvious that you were like a bean set loose among the giants or whatever… Just try not to sound so self-righteous next time. Might get punched.”

Changkyun laughs. “Yeah. Sorry… You were the first person I talked to that wasn’t Shownu after--shit, how long was it… Excluding Jooheon, almost a year?” Changkyun shrugs. “I hope I get more used to people. Everyone’s got different equations, it’s hard to keep up with what adds up for one person and doesn’t for another.”

Kihyun looks up again and smiles a little. “That’s why you listen first and talk later. In my place, someone else might have punched you. Hoseok would have cried, most likely… But it’s like,” Kihyun hums, “Was it the third? Newton’s third law? Whatever you say or do will cause a reaction in somebody else. You might not see it, but it’s there, always.”

“Ah, so like,” Changkyun smiles a little, points at himself. “I be asshole.” He points to Kihyun. “You no like.”

Kihyun chuckles and shakes his head, scrunches his nose a little as he shrugs one shoulder, “Eh… I’m getting used to it. It’s not so bad after a few days.”

Changkyun pouts. “Am I really that bad?”

“Does it matter?” Kihyun asks, stabs another piece of chicken, “As long as you’re you, you’ll be fine.”

“That’s just the thing, isn’t it,” Changkyun says to his empty plate, a little soft like he’s talking to himself. Sometimes he forgets he isn’t. “What if nobody likes me for me.”

“Pretty sure many people would like if you if you gave them the chance to get to know you,” Kihyun shrugs. “I, for once, appreciate your honesty.”

Changkyun frowns. “You do?”

“I mean, sure,” Kihyun snorts, “I will still call you an asshole. Especially, when you’re acting like one. But… You’re not afraid to speak your mind. I respect that. Admire it, in a way.” He shrugs again. “There’s a lot I have to refrain from saying out loud. Dishonorable discharges for conduct unbecoming are not that uncommon. So… I keep it in and it eats at me.”

“Well,” Changkyun smiles a little, leans forward as if to whisper. “You can tell me and I’ll say it. People think I’m an asshole anyway _and_ Shownu’s personal blindspot so… What’s the harm.”

Kihyun looks at Changkyun. There’s a hint of an devilish smile on his face. “Guess I’ll turn you into my personal blog, then.”

“Isn’t that just what the Drift is, after all?” Changkyun says, leans forward a little more to rest his chin on his crossed arms. “Not that I have much to blog about… It’s all dog pictures and NASA imagery, probably… Heck, I don’t even have any sordid romances or sexual encounters for you to enjoy. My bad.”

“That’s fine,” Kihyun chuckles. “I don’t exactly have anything to hide. Life is life. And…” He sighs, turns his head a little to look at where Nate and his group are getting up from their table. “It’s about trust. And for whatever reason, I trust you.” Kihyun looks back at his plate. “It’s kind of a gut feeling. But yeah.”

“I get it,” Changkyun says. “For whatever reason, I trust you, too.”

  
  
  
  
  


Anticipation is a nervous kind of energy. Kihyun feels it tingle through him like electrical sparks on the way to the ground, gathering in his toes. It’s excitement mixed with fear and maybe a little desperation. And it’s such a crushing feeling to look up at a Jaeger and think, _I am going to pilot this thing._

Seven years. Kihyun has been trying for seven years. A dream that wasn’t his own but that he took with a badge of pride. And yet it’s one those things, one of those feelings… because it’s not exactly a happy dream. It’s a goal. And Kihyun has a purpose.

Rogue Fox is not the tallest Jaeger in the Shatterdome. But it’s still a whole 1,980 tons of awesome. It’s beautiful. It’s stupefaction to the point of reverence, in a way. Because there are things you can’t fight. You see a hurricane coming and you have to get out of the way. But when you’re in a Jaeger, suddenly, you can fight the hurricane. You can win.

Last minute reparations are still on-going when Kihyun takes the lift to the hangar. And Changkyun is already there, looking at people like they’ll explode if he touches them.

_Scaredy cat._

“Hey, stranger,” Kihyun greets without much of a tone. They still have to get changed into the combat suits, but the team in charge of that isn’t here yet. Kihyun glances at the big metal head just a few feet away. _Can’t believe I’m going to be a brain inside a brain with another brain attached to mine._

“Oh, hey,” Changkyun says, glancing up at him with a quick smile and then looking seemingly absolutely everywhere, like he’ll spot a problem just like that, before back at the big metal head. “This reminds me of this cartoon I used to watch as a kid… Except they had these gem things? And they’d become like one giant woman?” Changkyun rambles when he’s nervous, it’s very obvious.

Kihyun makes a face, crosses his arms and looks at Changkyun. “What?”

Changkyun smiles a bit sheepishly ahead of him. “Guess you didn’t watch that one… Shit, what was it called, Melding? It was like drifting I guess but more physical. Not, not melding… Fusion!”

Kihyun looks down at the floor, bites at the inside of his cheek. There’s a lot of metal dust clinging to his boots. “I haven’t watched a movie in… almost eight years.”

“It was a show,” Changkyun says, before he blinks over at Kihyun. “Seriously? We should watch one…”

Kihyun frowns a little. Bonding. That’s a thing he knows he _must_ do. Because even if he has this Drift chemistry with Changkyun, that won’t be enough to keep them alive. And yet…

Seven years. And it’s still fresh. So, Kihyun just takes a breath and lets it hang. Maybe they’ll watch a movie. Maybe they won’t. Thinking about it will just make it worse.

“As friends,” Changkyun says, for some damn reason. Kihyun must have been making a face. “Just… roomies being dudes.”

The crushing feeling in Kihyun’s chest evens out a little and he lets out a breath when he laughs. “What else are we supposed to be?” _Friends, huh?_ He glances at Changkyun. “Are we though? Friends.”

“I hope so. This might just be me, but,” Changkyun shrugs, lips in a line and eyes up at the Jaeger. “I don’t want to put my life in the hands of someone I can’t even call a friend.”

Kihyun frowns, bites at his lower lip. Friends? Maybe. Partners? Definitely. But he doesn’t say it out loud. And he doesn’t need to. Because in just a few minutes, Changkyun will be inside his head.

The team in charge of the battle suits arrives just a few minutes before scheduled. They have to dress in a spandex suit that literally hugs everything so close Kihyun feels he’s going to go infertile. And then, over that, the battle suit.

The battle suits are sturdy with more than enough mobility. It also makes the both of them look just a tad taller (and larger--not that Changkyun doesn’t have some killer shoulders already). They fit on a hood-cap that pastes all of Kihyun hair to his head and then the helmet (that automatically fits an earpiece into Kihyun’s ear the moment it locks onto the suit). It makes him feel just slightly uncomfortable.

_This is abuse._

For some reason, though, the preparations manage to keep his mind busy with the practical, instead of worrying about what ifs and countless possibilities. His body still feels a little trembly, but years and years of practice help him keep it to a minimum.

The same can’t be told about Mr. Asshole Friend, though.

“So we save eight minutes with the cockpit already attached, but this takes ages,” Changkyun grumbles under his breath.

“It used to take longer,” someone from the fitting team says.

Again, Changkyun’s smile is sheepish, slightly apologetic like he realises he’d said it all out loud. “If only these were comfortable to sleep in, right? Always ready to go.”

“They’re a lot lighter than the previous Mark-3 combat suits,” an engineer Kihyun recognises as Hyejin (her name tag says Hwasa, though) says nearby. “Thanks to your good work, doctor. Those radiation shields compensate. So, we made the suits more malleable and less chunky.” She teases. “And hey, you look good.”

Changkyun’s cheeks go a little pink. “Oh, er, thanks.”

“I feel like an action figure,” Kihyun grumbles.

“Well, you’re already a Captain,” Changkyun says to Kihyun. “Kinda funny that his surname is ‘Rodgers’, don’t you think? Considering the whole…” Changkyun does a little salute. “Thing.”

“It means ‘received’,” Kihyun scoffs. “Also, now we use ‘Romeo’ for R.”

“And Juliet for J. If it’s not a family dividing them, it’s a bunch of letters.”

“Oh,” Kihyun laughs a little, raises his hand when an Engineer tries to calibrate his vitals bracelet right above the suit. “You’d love military slang.”

“I don’t know any, actually,” Changkyun says, leaning over to squint as Hwasa works on the suit.

“D’you know what we call a bad conduct discharge?” Kihyun glances over. “A Big Chicken Dinner.”

Changkyun blinks over. “But that sounds nice!”

“A Big Dick Contest sounds nice, too, yet it’s just a bunch of soldiers arguing about who’s done or experienced more in terms of training or combat. Although that one actually makes a lot of sense.”

Changkyun laughs a little before Hwasa steps back.

“Okay, you’re ready,” she says. “You okay?”

“Hmm?” Changkyun asks, looks down at his hands. They’re not shaking so much anymore. “Yeah, I think I am, actually.”

 _For now,_ Kihyun thinks, looks at the entrance hatch just after the tiny bridge between them and the Jaeger. He needs to take a deep breath, but it’s seamless. No one needs to know he’s nervous.

_Here goes nothing…_

Kihyun has been inside a Jaeger before. But it’s different, it feels different when he knows he’ll be the one piloting it. Not alone, of course, but still. It’s like the walls press in, like the walls know. And certainly, Rogue Fox has seen at least three other pairs of pilots. But Kihyun can’t stop thinking a little beyond that. How a bunch of wires and an A.I. together with Kihyun and Changkyun’s consciences makes something a lot bigger, a lot stronger, a whole new entity.

Rogue Fox is not just a bunch of metal. It’s a whole entity.

Changkyun takes the left side, steps over the pedals and they quickly lock onto his suit. Kihyun does the same and his heart picks up the moment the upper arm descends to lock onto the back of his suit.

“Nervous?” Kihyun asks just in case, watching how every little mechanical thing moves around them, fits just a tad closer, clicking together in a mechanical way as Rogue Fox readies for startup. The sound of the core heating up is a low hum. It’s kind of soothing.

The hatch of the Conn-Pod closes behind them and they’re alone.

Changkyun is frowning, still glancing around. “Less than I thought I’d be…”

“Oh?” _Well, that makes one of us._

“There’s no Kaiju yet, right?” Changkyun smiles, and Kihyun hears Jooheon in his ear.

_“Hello, smalls. Ready to do your own little Z Fusion dance?”_

The displays turn on so suddenly Kihyun’s heart jumps a little. A small ‘HELLO’ quickly scrolling on the A.I. screen. And indeed, maybe it’s a damn robot. But it’s nice to think of it as something more.

Kihyun smiles a little, reaches over for the intercoms button and switches it on, sees Changkyun next to him do the same, “You better not be playing galaga while we do this.”

 _“Wouldn’t dream of it, Captain!”_ Jooheon replies. _“How are you feeling, Kyun?”_

“Top of the world, obviously,” Changkyun jokes, rolls his eyes.

Kihyun changes the display so the world map is on Changkyun’s side and the action map is on his own. Again, it’s just a gut feeling, but Kihyun thinks that out of the two of them, Changkyun might need that map more than Kihyun does.

And that’s the thing about gut feelings. Because if Kihyun is the action itself, a sword, Changkyun is a shield.

 _“Rogue Fox?”_ The General’s voice sounds on the intercom.

“Rogue Fox ready and aligned, Sir,” Kihyun replies, glances at Changkyun. “The weapons and warfare list has been updated even though they haven’t installed them yet. Do you want them on your side?”

Changkyun nods. “Along with the internal readings and outside sensors, if you don’t mind.”

Kihyun slides everything across the holographic display and the windows open on Changkyun’s side. “Pass me the vitals.”

“Swoosh,” Changkyun says, as he does. “You’ve got the weapon’s aiming and everything there with you, yeah?”

“Yeah, but I want a copy of the internal readings, if you don’t mind. I work better with what I see rather than what I hear.”

 _“You two realise everything would go much faster if you didn’t keep adding ‘if you don’t mind’.”_ Jooheon laughs. _“Cute.”_

Changkyun narrows his eyes at the intercom button as he puts both hands on the readings, pulls them to the side until there’s two of them and then moves one over to Kihyun.

“Remind me again at dinner, tonight,” Kihyun says. He smiles a little when Jooheon fumbles on the other side of the line, a bit of static lacing in with some stuttering.

_“This is General Son, prepare for the Neural Handshake.”_

_“Initiating Neural Handshake in twenty seconds,”_ Jooheon says cheerfully. _“Nineteen. Eighteen. Seventeen--”_

Kihyun sighs, heart beating fast. He glances at Changkyun. “Ready to get inside my head?”

_“Fifteen, fourteen.”_

Changkyun smiles over, raises an eyebrow. “Could ask you the same thing.”

_“Cute. Twelve.”_

“Maybe I’ll finally get good at maths,” Kihyun jokes, looks to the front, sees the other hangers, the garage, the closed, big front gate. Everything is rusty and metallic. And yet it helps with Kihyun’s anxiety--he’s lived here for a long time, rusty and metallic equals home by now.

_“Ten. Nine. Eight.”_

Kihyun closes his eyes.

“Maybe I’ll be less of an asshole,” Changkyun mumbles.

_“Seven. Six--”_

_Five. Four. Three. Two. One._

_“Neural Handshake Initiated,”_ the A.I. says and then… a pull of darkness.

A light at the end of the tunnel. Except it’s blinding once Kihyun gets there, his feet hurt and his legs want to give in. And then, like a movie, they roll behind his eyelids.

_Running through a field of flowers and then through a crowd that screams, dust in his lungs._

_The only child among adults, doing simple sums and wondering if he’ll ever get to understand the things his father says._

_Fitting a military cap too big for his head. The news on TV. Saying goodbye._

_Almost freezing to death as a building burns above him. It’s safe here, not out there. They’ll never come back._

_Winning. Smiling. A wall. Safety. And then a crash, a howl so loud it makes him deaf._

_Jooheon. His first ever friend. Jooheon doesn’t call him weird._

_Holding a hand tight but not tight enough. A kiss he didn’t know would be their last. Despair. A broken heart that hasn’t healed yet. And guilt. Guilt covers him from wrist to elbow in lines of ink that intertwine._

_Loneliness, but the fear of getting close. Small plants he talks to sometimes. But they’re cold, like everything else._

_Having a dream among stars and giving up for someone else’s sake, because they’re no longer around to make the difference. A new dream. A new beginning._

_The world hangs in the balance, between numbers and theories, there are billions of lives and they weigh far, far too heavy. He’s scared, so he hides in small spaces, he makes himself quiet, because that’s what his mother said would keep him safe._

_Not moving on. Not wanting to move on. Once is enough. Twice is complicated. Twice brings more guilt._

_Dreams that end with a soft voice and a hand in his hair. It’s warm. For once, something is warm._

_A comfortable silence that feels cold in his mouth but warm in his chest. Something he hasn’t done in a long time. Something he hasn’t felt in a long time, comfort._

_Laughter. Dislike. A fear he had, now come true. But laughter works, sometimes._

_The fear of not being good enough. The fear of being the problem. Almost making it and then failing. The crushing, sinking feeling of failure. The fear of what lies beyond. The fear of the blue._

_The fear of what lies beyond._

_The fear of what took everything from him. From them. The fear of it taking something else. The fear of one of them being the next._

_The fear of dying in vain._

_The fear of dying. Because he doesn’t want to die._

There’s a strong shake that snaps Kihyun’s conscience back into reality, a pull that knocks his breath out of him. The film still rolls behind his eyelids when he blinks, but he gasps, breathes in, hears two heartbeats in his head, feels two voices in his chest. And for a moment, his eyes burn with emotions that aren’t his own.

 _“Neural Handshake strong and holding,”_ Jooheon announces over the intercom.

Changkyun’s impressed, for a moment, (and Kihyun _feels_ it) before looking at all the readings. Changkyun is proud; at least part of this was because of him. “Still at ninety eight, then?” He asks.

_It feels like ninety eight, at least._

“You can tell?” Kihyun asks, looks at the screens, feels an avalanche of thoughts in his head. It’s quite overwhelming. Who would have thought Changkyun’s brain was this loud?

“So can you,” Changkyun says, double-checks the radiation readings. _Huh, knew that would work..._ “Avalanche.”

“Right hemisphere calibrating,” Kihyun announces as he looks at the display. Thinks, _You’re going to be so obnoxious, I can tell._

 _And you’re going to be smug_.

“I’m always smug,” Kihyun scoffs.

 _With reason_ . Changkyun frowns. _Ignore that_.

“Left hemisphere locked in,” he says. “Helps that I’m left handed and you’re right handed, huh.”

The Conn-Pod ( _Cockpit--Shut up!)_ shakes. Kihyun moves his right hand up, watches the display move, and Changkyun raises his right hand, too, in sync. And then, when Changkyun thinks of moving his left hand, Kihyun’s hand moves, too. It’s like controlling two bodies while being in total sync.

 _Make that three,_ Changkyun’s voice rambles in a long thought, _don’t forget about the giant woman--_

_I swear, shut up!_

_“Movement Calibration in Transit,”_ the A.I. says and the Jaeger shakes, loud metallic sounds echoing through the Conn-Pod.

“See?” Changkyun grins. “The lady is here.”

“Oh god-- _no_ ,” Kihyun starts even as his tongue tries not to roll around what Changkyun wants to say, “We are not naming her--”

“Sharon sounds good.”

 _“Uhm, guys? It’s Rogue Fox.”_ Jooheon says, helpfully.

“You’re a literal _homo sapien_ , I still call you ‘Jooheon’, don’t I?”

 _“Your logic is flawed, because she’s a Jaeger, first of all,”_ Jooheon sighs.

 _“Diagnosis in process,”_ the A.I. ( _Don’t you mean Sharon--No!)_ says. The internal readings display flashes green at the arms, chest, head anchor, legs and feet as the diagnosis runs.

 _“How are you feeling, Rangers?”_ the General asks over the intercom.

Kihyun moves his right hand up (and so does Changkyun) and sees it appear on the visor. Changkyun moves his left hand (and so does Kihyun) and sees it on the visor, too.

“He’s loud,” Kihyun mumbles, blinks and needs to focus beyond the images that try to jump forward. It’s hard not to latch on. Especially considering how strongly attached Kihyun is to his own memories.

 _The square root of pie is 1.772453851--_  Changkyun thinks and Kihyun snaps _._

_Shut up!_

Changkyun laughs a little. “So is he. Loud.”

The world map pings as the radar starts. The A.I. display reads, ‘SHATTERDOME, BUSAN, 35.1796º N, 129.0756º E, SOUTH KOREA - PACIFIC RING’.

“At least she knows where she is,” Kihyun snorts. “Sometimes I forget.”

“Jooheon, have you inputted the energy readings I gave you yet?” Changkyun asks. _The exotic particles give off a specific energy reading that can be picked up with the right equipment_ , Kihyun knows this, now (because Changkyun knows, because he just thought of it).

“ _I’m on it,_ ” Jooheon replies. _“The General has an idea about that, actually. Patching through.”_

 _Not just a pretty face, then,_ Changkyun thinks, _And arms. Mm, arms._

“For real?” Kihyun laughs. Moves the right arm again and feels his left move when Changkyun moves it, too.

“I’m not blind,” Changkyun grumbles. _Wish I was with you prancing around--_

“If you squint hard enough--” Kihyun snorts at his words, “Maybe you’ll remember you’ve seen the General naked once or twice.” The words pulls at Kihyun’s memories and he focuses as he tries not to latch onto those, too.

Changkyun grimaces. _Wait, what do you--Oh, god, that’s a lot of naked boys._

“Common showers are a thing.”

Jooheon sighs. _“You know you’re still on the intercom, correct?”_

“Do you?” Kihyun asks, grins. “Sometimes I think _you_ forget.”

Changkyun barks a laugh at the image of Jooheon’s wide eyes. “Hah!”

 _“Patching you through!_ ” Jooheon hisses.

 _“Rogue Fox,”_ the General says. _“Tomorrow at six you’ll be on the Bridge for a short brief. But I’m updating you now since I need Changkyun’s opinion.”_

 _See,_ Changkyun thinks, smugly, _I have a valuable opinion._

Kihyun rolls his eyes, “We hear you, General.”

 _“Once the radar is upgraded, I plan on testing it. I assume in real time readings would be of great value to us. And we still need you and the new pilots to integrate better with your Jaegers. I’m thinking of sending you, specifically, to the Mariana Trench, Ground Zero. You’ll take the Jaeger, a test-run, you may call it, and a team will accompany you on the way there by chopper and boat. That way you can get your readings while also getting used to your Jaeger and each other.”_ A pause. Kihyun glances at Changkyun. And then the General calls, _“Changkyun?”_

“Yeah, sounds good,” Changkyun says, even as he frowns. _High concentration of exotic mass_ \--he’s curious to see what that looks like.

“If that floating blob of water in your lab is anything to go by…” Kihyun mumbles, frowns at the memories that aren’t his own.

 _His name is Jeremy_.

_You named it?! Of course you did..._

_I name everything_ . And Changkyun blinks away a stray thought but Kihyun catches it-- _everything has names, then I don’t feel so alone._

“I think it might be better if we go to the highest concentration point, Shownu,” Changkyun says. “The Marianas Breach used to be our biggest problem, but for now, the larger the readings, the more we should be worried.”

“How many Jaegers were you deploying for the test-run?” Kihyun asks.

 _“Rogue Fox, Paladin Jinx and Tempest Echo.”_ the General says.

 _So… All of them._ Changkyun deadpans. _Could have just said all of them..._

“There’s the seniors, too, kid,” Kihyun mumbles, but once he says the word ‘kid’, he doesn’t like how it feels. _Dammit. (Yes, well, I told you I don’t like it)_. Kihyun clears his throat. “General, I think…” _What do I even call you…_ “Changkyun is right--” ( _I hope someone recorded that,_ Changkyun scoffs. _)_ Kihyun frowns and goes on, “Also, the Trench is deep. I don’t think we should stress the engines too much. Paladin Jinx is a lot sturdier and a Mark-5 at that. They’ll be able to deal with the high underwater pressure a lot better than us.”

 _Plus,_ Kihyun glances at Changkyun, _metaphorically, it’s funny. Paladin Jinx looks like it has a condom for a head. They going in deep._

Changkyun’s chest bubbles up in a laugh he tries to keep in. _Oh god..._

 _“Very well,”_ the General says. _“The Marshal approves. Finish the trial and then report to my office, Kihyun.”_

Changkyun frowns. _Why just you?_

“Yes, sir,” Kihyun acknowledges. Frowns, too. _Maybe he wants to make me run errands, as usual?_

 _“You guys,”_ Jooheon says suddenly, sighs a little, _“Don’t wanna be that guy, but she’s kinda beautiful. At least from here. The core is all shiny. Please, take care of her.”_

Changkyun smiles; _his designs, his work, his equations_. “Yeah, she’s gorgeous. We’ll try our best.”

“You know,” Kihyun says, takes a deep breath, “I know what you’re thinking. And _no_ , you’re not going mechanical on me mid missions, you ass.” Kihyun glares at Changkyun. “If you want to tweak around, you do it on dry land.”

 _Until one day we don’t have any other choice_. “Yes, sir,” Changkyun drawls.

  
  
  


 

They’re still on dry land, so Changkyun sits on the floor in the head of the Jaeger fiddling with a circuit board on his lap. There’s still a few milliseconds of lag between their actual movement and that of the Jaeger, so why not.

It’s an odd feeling to have new, old memories. He never played any sports, but Kihyun did, so it feels like Changkyun did, too. He’s never kissed anyone, but he remembers what it feels like.

But now Changkyun is, quite literally, alone with his thoughts. Except it doesn’t just feel like his anymore. There’s loss he never felt, people he never knew but would now recognise anywhere… It’s weird. It’s a lot. And he wonders how much of that Kihyun feels, now, too. Wonders just how much he gave away.

“Hey, there, _Tinker_ bell,” a familiar voice calls and then a deep laugh. Hoseok. He’s by the hatch but hasn’t walked in yet. “Permission to come aboard?” He smiles.

Changkyun smiles over his shoulder, corrects the glasses on his face. He wore contacts the whole damn day, so it feels weird, but strangely comforting to have his glasses back on. “Permission granted. Although, Paladin Jinx is that way,” he gestures with his head. “In case you got a bit lost.”

“Wanted to check on you, actually,” Hoseok says, leans down a little as he passes the hatch. He looks around and smiles a little, eyes slowly wandering before they land on Changkyun.

“Oh,” Changkyun frowns. “Why?”

“Drifting is a funny business. And then there’s the fact that you’re Drift compatible with Kihyun. Let’s just say I’m curious. About you, that is.” Hoseok sits down next to Changkyun, looks at what he’s doing. “My first time Drifting? It was… an emotional rollercoaster.”

“Yeah,” Changkyun agrees easily, remembers seeing somehow he loved--Kihyun loved--dead, hand held, unmoving and still warm. “Helps that there’s baggage from both sides, I guess…” Changkyun looks up at Hoseok, tries a small smile. “Thanks for checking up on me. It’s nice of you to do so.”

Hoseok smiles and it’s warm. He has kind eyes and a soft face. “You’re welcome!” He looks at Changkyun. “And… maybe that’s why you’re compatible with Kihyun. Because you share the same type of emotional baggage. That’s my theory, at least.” He nods.

“Well,” Changkyun says, leans in to carefully connect the two circuits after he’s rearranged them with the new, stupidly small power charge. “Brains are weird. I’m hardly a neuroscientist--” He scoffs. “Okay, maybe a little. But I could tell we were compatible even before we did that stupid sparring thing… Didn’t know about his baggage back then, after all.”

“Eyes are the windows to the soul,” Hoseok mumbles. “Sometimes, you can tell with just a look… _‘Ah, they know what it feels like’_... And you find yourself relating in a way, even when you don’t know why. Everyone has demons. And demons leave a mark. People try their best to hide them, the scars. But you can recognize an equal when you see one. Maybe your scars look the same, is what I mean. At least that’s how it feels for me.”

Changkyun blinks up at Hoseok. The same scars? Maybe not wounded in the same way, but what remains, looks the same.

“Maybe,” Changkyun hums, and the circuit lights up. He leans forward to get his tablet. “I don’t know, I feel like we’re very different but at the same time…” Changkyun sighs. “At the same time, I can’t even get him to watch a movie with me.”

“I drifted with him once, or tried,” Hoseok chuckles. “We both destabilized. I got knocked out of the loop and he chased the R.A.B.I.T.”

Changkyun frowns. “Yeah, I know. I seem to know a damn lot more than I used to about the guy… How did you get him out? How did you break him out of the R.A.B.I.T.? I can’t remember that bit.”

“The General,” Hoseok says. “He knows how to deal with it, apparently. I’ve heard that--” Hoseok frowns a little. “During the war, South Korea had two Jaegers in operation. General Son was a pilot.” Hoseok glances up. “I’ve heard that he and his partner were still connected when…” He shrugs. “When his partner died… The emotional strain was so hard that the General ended up chasing the R.A.B.I.T. and managed to get out of it on his own. So, he’s good at dealing with it. Helped Kihyun. Helped me, too. We’re Drift compatible, the General and I,” Hoseok smiles. “But I have Hyungwon and the General doesn’t pilot anymore, so…”

Connected to someone when they die. Changkyun can’t imagine, doesn’t want to. He’d even felt Kihyun’s frustration at every silly joke he made, so he doesn’t even want to even think about what it would feel like if…

“Shit, that’s…” Changkyun shakes his head. “Horrible. I knew Shownu’d lost a partner but…” Changkyun shivers, checks the readings on the tablet. It seems better, much, actually. All in a day’s work. “I’d rather we die together in that thing, to be honest…”

“Call me an optimist, but I hope no one dies,” Hoseok says. “I don’t know what’s happening. But I know it’s serious. So, whatever it is… I hope we can fight and win without losing anyone. Impossible, I know. But I still hope… It helps me sleep at night.”

Changkyun laughs a little. “I hope I find something like that, too.”

Maybe he already did, maybe he already found it or had a glimpse of it, anyway. But then again, it’s not really his place to ask for it.

“The Drift helps,” Hoseok nods, looks at his hands as he opens and closes them over his lap. “Honestly, had we found another way to fight, it would suck without the Drift. It’s not always a good thing. Hyungwon and I are the living proof of that. Even the General. But… no matter what type of bond you and your partner have, it’s… good. You don’t feel alone. At some point, you look at them and you can feel what they’re feeling, even when you’re not connected. It helps. You’ll feel it, too, once you’ve drifted enough together.”

It’s part of what Changkyun had hoped for, really, even if subconsciously.

“You and Hyungwon,” Changkyun starts. “And feel free to tell me to shut up, because I never know when I’m going too far but… You two used to be together, right? Like. Boyfriends.”

“Yep,” Hoseok says, looks up and smiles wide. Such kind eyes. Changkyun really doesn’t want Hoseok to die, either. “We met in the Program. More or less when I met Kihyun, too.”

“Why didn’t it work out? Because of the Drift?” Changkyun blushes a little. “Sorry, I shouldn’t ask, I know it’s personal...”

“Ah, it’s okay,” Hoseok waves his hand dismissively and laughs. “Everyone and their mother knows.” He sighs. “Everyone is different. I’ve known people who work through it just fine. But… When you love someone like that, in the way boyfriends supposedly do, it kinda… Gets in the way.” Hoseok shrugs. “There are things you’re not supposed to know. Things that hurt. Things you keep to yourself for a reason. And… We started dating before we became Rangers. It was a normal relationship. And suddenly, we could be in each other’s minds. I think it would have turned out differently if it’d started after we started Drifting.”

Changkyun pouts at Hoseok a little, so Hoseok will know he cares. He does. Impossible not, too, with eyes that kind. “Do you still love him?”

“Yep,” Hoseok smiles. “Tons. And he knows that. He’s in my head… Even now. Sometimes, I feel him here even when he’s not. After effects.”

“And that’s not enough?” Changkyun asks. He knows he’s always been a bit of a romantic, but it’s a very unstretched muscle. “You can’t… Work past the other things because you love him?”

“I know how he feels. He knows how I feel. It’s… better like this. Leaving it on a subconscious level is easier. Making it real? Turning feelings into touches? That hurts… Because you’ll always have the Drift, the memories. But… if one of us dies, we will never have the touch again.”

Changkyun’s heart hurts a little for Hoseok, so he bumps his head lightly against his arm. “Thanks for telling me… Guess I’ll just not fall in love with Kihyun, then,” he scoffs. _Funny._ “Easier that way.”

“Eh,” Hoseok shrugs. “Glad you can pick yours,” he laughs, ruffles Changkyun’s hair. “You’ll be fine. Kihyun might be… difficult. But he’s a good guy. And he takes care of people.”

Changkyun remembers, like a stark image, a hand in his hair. “Yeah…” And then shakes his head, smiles a little as he holds up the circuit. “Wanna know what this is and then go watch a movie?”

Hoseok beams in a way that makes Changkyun’s chest warm. “Yeah!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, that was a steven universe reference


	5. Ground Zero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s late. He’s cold. But when the door opens and Kihyun walks in, the room feels a little warmer.

 

Changkyun doesn’t remember falling asleep. But when he stirs awake, he remembers a silly movie on an old laptop on the bottom bunk in Hoseok’s room, warmth, and a deep, dreamless sleep. There’s a sharp pain on his side, though, and he groans, curls into the warmth and tries to ignore it. When it doesn’t go away, he smacks at it and feels a-- _stick_?

Changkyun squints his eyes open and turns a little, tries to look over his shoulder. It’s Hyungwon, with a toothbrush. And Changkyun frowns, tries, “Wha..”

“He’s not a teddy bear, you know,” Hyungwon grumbles.

 _Who_?

Oh. Right. The big warm thing next to Changkyun is Hoseok. That makes sense.

_Wait, am I the big spoon?_

Changkyun lifts his head a little, arm over Hoseok’s waist. Yep, looks like he’s the big spoon. His head falls back to the pillow and he groans again. “S’comfy…”

“Stop wiggling into it, ugh,” Hyungwon groans and straightens up. “It’s morning, anyway. Past ten. _Ten_ . So get up and _get out.”_

Ten? _Ten?!_ Shit, when’s the last time Changkyun slept until ten? Kihyun must think he’s dead, too. _Or_ he’s plotting Changkyun’s death.

Changkyun glares a little at Hyungwon and he sits up, glances down at Hoseok. _What a baby, honestly._ And a blurry baby, at that. _Where are my glasses?_ “Really gonna do the walk of shame now, huh?”

“Apparently,” Hyungwon says and then frowns. “Ugh. Hope they don’t think it was me…” He pauses. Looks at Changkyun. “No offense.”

“If it’s all the same to you, I am _highly_ offended,” Changkyun jokes, reaches for his boots, finds his glasses and gives Hyungwon a small salute. “See you in training, lover.”

“Do _not_ call me that ever again!”

“It’s not a walk of shame if you don’t have any shame!” Changkyun calls back.

“You’re noisy,” Hoseok mumbles, voice drowsy. He grabs the pillow from under his head and pulls at it to hug it against his chest before turning around in bed to blink at Hyungwon. “What… What did I miss?”

Hyungwon blinks tiredly, “Everything.”

“Not much,” Changkyun says, rolling his eyes. “And don’t, do not start talking to me about the meeting I definitely missed.”

Hyungwon blinks so tiredly it’s like he’s going to fall asleep standing up, but then narrows his eyes at Changkyun just before he leaves.

Changkyun has a decision to make, now. Sort of. But it boils down to addressing what had happened. Which was nothing, but then again...

“Sorry,” Changkyun mumbles, poking at the bundle of Hoseok. “For falling asleep on you…”

Hoseok groans a little and sits up, pillow in his arms, “S’fine… Don’t mind Hyungwon. He’s grumpy all the time and has a bone to pick with everyone because… Well, because.” Hoseok shrugs and pouts a little before his face contorts and he yawns. “And s’not that he’s grumpy. He’s just… He complains a lot about what bothers him but that’s like… his natural mood. When he doesn’t complain?” Hoseok squints. “Expect an earthquake.”

“Right,” Changkyun laughs and… He’s in a good mood. He shouldn’t be, the world is ending, but yet, here he is. He looks back at Hoseok and frowns. “Hey, er… Can I ask you something?”

“Yep,” Hoseok says, popping the ‘p’.

Changkyun swallows a little nervously, nods and points at the door. “Can I close this for a sec?”

Hoseok frowns and then narrows his eyes as he leans forward, “Depends. Are you going to kill me?” He pauses and leans back. “I guess you wouldn’t tell me if you were, though… Huh.”

“I am so happy you said ‘kill me’ and not ‘seduce me’ or whatever. Hyungwon would have heard, and I would already be dead. But no, neither of those things...”

“Why would you seduce me?” Hoseok makes a face and then shivers. “Youth these days.”

“You are, like, twenty five!” Changkyun laughs even as he presses onto the door to close it.

“I _am_ obviously joking. I know what I look like.”

“Har har, then don’t act so offended,” Changkyun grumbles and walks closer, sitting down at the end of the bed.

Hoseok laughs softly and raises both eyebrows. “So? Why so gloomy all of a sudden?”

“Huh?” Changkyun whips his head up, eyes wide. “Oh, no no no, I’m not gloomy! I’m happy, actually, I’m just…. Wondering about something. And I didn’t wanna embarrass myself even more with someone hearing me ask this question however I will actually phrase it…”

“Okay…?”

“Right,” Changkyun says, like he’s convincing himself. “Right. So. I don’t know if you know, but I was… alone. Completely alone, I mean, not single or anything--although, that too? I guess--but I was alone for… hah, well, _years_. Up in the Alaskan Research Facility.”

Hoseok’s face changes, but it’s not pity, it’s something else Changkyun can’t figure out. “I’ve heard a thing or two…”

Changkyun nods and looks at his hands when he speaks. “The first few days I was here, hell, I probably still do it, but… I’d jump whenever someone touches me? I wasn’t used to it. And the first time I actually met Jooheon, I hugged him so tight I’m amazed he survived,” Changkyun smiles soft. “I was touch-starved. _Am_ touch-starved… I only realised it when Kihyun pointed it out, in his own way…”

Hoseok blinks and then looks down at Changkyun’s hands as well. “That… That’s normal. It’s part of being human. To some people? Lack of touch fucks them up so much… Like,” Hoseok pokes his head with his forefinger, “In the brains. I’m sure someone like Seola could explain this better but… Everyone needs it. Even _I_ need it.” Hoseok looks up and nibbles at his bottom lip. “Kihyun, too. That’s probably what Nate was, _is…”_ Hoseok narrows his eyes, “I don’t know how Kihyun works that stuff out and I really _don’t_ want to know but… You get what I mean.”

“Yeah, it’s… I get it…” Changkyun sighs, though, somewhat frustrated. “That’s just the thing, too! The damn world is ending, and the other night I had this _horrible_ dream and woke up to--to Kihyun holding me,” Changkyun admits, voice small. “He played with my hair and I… I couldn’t help but think about when I used to be scared, and I’d run over to my parents and slip into bed with them and I’d… I’d feel better… And I did, he held me and I _felt_ better…”

Hoseok nods and sighs. “I get that…” He shrugs one shoulder and smiles small. “Hey, not everyone is going to look at you the right way if you go around asking for that kind of attention. _But_ if you ever need a friend? Or if you wanna hug my arm and watch a movie when there’s nothing else to do?” Hoseok winks playfully, “I’m your man. As for Kihyun… He cares. He’s surprisingly soft for the strangest things… But ask. I’m sure he, better than anyone, will understand.”

Changkyun laughs a little. “Ask, huh? It’s that easy?”

“Depends. If you ask Hyungwon, he’ll probably laugh _really_ loud and walk away while laughing and clapping. But--” Hoseok chuckles and shakes his head. “Yeah. If… If you say Kihyun did that for you, then I’m sure he won’t mind. Maybe he’ll squint? He squints, it’s funny. But. Yeah, ask.”

Changkyun stands up slowly, and nods. Nods for a while, even while he says, “Yeah, okay, ‘kay, cool, I’ll… I’ll do that.” And laughs. “Oh, he’s going to squint _so hard_!”

 Hoseok laughs, a deep sound that seems very contagious. “Yep!”

“Aish…” _No idea how I’m going to phrase that… Hold me? Ugh._ “I’ll see you later, then..?”

Hoseok just laughs even more and falls back, “See ya later!”

Changkyun gives a casual salute, and opens the door, walking a few feet into his room.

Kihyun is already gone, obviously. The man wakes up with the first light on the horizon.

 _And… shit, right,_ there was a meeting. There was definitely a meeting, and Changkyun definitely missed it. He can already see Kihyun’s little frown. _It’s annoying._

Changkyun showers quickly, can’t put the damn contact lenses in so he puts on his glasses instead and makes his way to where he hopes Shownu will be. Changkyun is already practising the apology. But hey, at least Hoseok wasn’t at the meeting either.

“Dr. Im,” Shownu says with snark when he lands eyes on Changkyun. “I hope you slept well.”

Changkyun decides to just… own it. He smiles wide, nods enthusiastically. “Great, thanks! And you, sir?”

“Oh, well, you know how it goes,” Shownu shrugs, tone sarcastic. “My three hours of sleep will have to do. Coffee?” He asks, offers Changkyun his own.

“And they say you can only save lives in a Jaeger,” Changkyun says, taking the cup with both hands and inhaling. _Sweet bean..._

“We do what we can,” Shownu chuckles, glances out the big window of his office. “Which reminds me, you should mentalize yourself. You’ll be Drifting in about two hours.”

“To check out the exotic mass?” Changkyun asks, takes a sip. _Lifeblood, seriously_ . “Ugh, Kihyun’s going to be _mad_ …” Changkyun pouts. “Sorry for keeping Hoseok, by the way. I didn’t know we’d sleep so late…”

“It’s alright. As long as one of you shows up, the rest will come through mid Drift,” Shownu takes his own cup of coffee and brings it up to smell it. “I’m sending you to the Aleutian subduction zone. The Paladin Jinx will go to the original Breach in the Mariana Trench. Tempest Echo will be collecting data by the Pacific-Antarctic Ridge.”

“Well, I guess it’s a good way to stretch our mental legs a little, huh.” Being in Kihyun’s head for so long, though? That’ll be… _something._

“Yes. You need to get used to it,” Shownu says, sips a little and smacks his lips. He frowns. “Sooner or later… You might be fighting something. That’s a deployment I don’t want to oversee. But it will happen.”

“If it makes you feel better,” Changkyun says, finishing the coffee to put it down on Shownu’s desk. “It’s a deployment I don’t want to be in, either. But hey,” he laughs, remembering a conversation he’d had with his co-pilot. “Maybe punching a Kaiju will make me feel better about the whole thing.”

Shownu smiles, looks down. “I can assure you, it will.”

  
  


“And where the hell were you?”

“Good morning to you, too, sunshine.”

“It’s raining,” Kihyun deadpans. And there it is, the frown. _Hello, frown._

“And I think you just got my joke,” Changkyun says, poking at Kihyun’s forehead. “Begone, lines of unrest.”

Kihyun tsks and slaps Changkyun’s hand away. “I was--” He frowns some more. “Nevermind. Come on, we have a thing to pilot.” He turns to walk down the corridor to the elevators.

“You were..?” Changkyun asks, jogging a little to catch up, hands behind his back. He feels so much damn better today, even with the prospect of going out in Rogue Fox. He woke up with a new friend. It’s a fantastic feeling.

Kihyun’s eyes keep scanning whoever passes them by, like it’s a hobby of his, “Thought you were bailing on me again…” He mumbles.

Changkyun frowns. “You should know I wouldn’t. Maybe before, sure, but not anymore.”

“Well, I don’t know,” Kihyun says and he sounds frustrated. “Things change.” He stops by the elevators and presses the little arrow-shaped button. “Doesn’t matter.” He glances over. “You okay, though?”

“I’m great, actually,” Changkyun says, around the frown. “Maybe not such a good idea to get off on the wrong foot right when we’re supposed to go poke around in the other’s head, you know...”

Kihyun frowns, narrows his eyes. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“That if we keep frowning at each other, our faces are gonna get stuck like this.”

“Wouldn’t that be an improvement..?” Kihyun mumbles, looks at the elevator as the doors open and steps inside, clicks the button that leads to the garage.

“No,” Changkyun says, honestly. Maybe he’s too happy to care. “I like you more when you’re smiling.”

“Then I guess you don’t like me all that much?” Kihyun snorts, crosses his arms and leans against the elevator wall. “Sorry, I’m… Just tired.”

“Didn’t get a lot of sleep?”

“Well, _someone_ decided to go missing. And when I decided I didn’t care it was already four in the morning. Had to wake up at six. Figured you’d be skipping. So, no, Im Changkyun. I didn’t get a lot of sleep.”

_Oh…_

_Oh!_

“I’m sorry,” Changkyun says, softly. “I kind of honestly just… didn’t think you’d care.”

Kihyun frowns, looks at Changkyun. “Which part of ‘we’re partners’ didn’t cross over to that thick skull of yours yesterday?”

Changkyun just looks away, suddenly feeling guilty. “The part where you dislike me. I can be your partner, doesn’t mean you care.” The elevator doors open, and Changkyun steps out, arms folded in front of him. “I was just… Trying to make a friend. I didn’t plan on staying there. I fell asleep. So, I’m sorry.”

“And did you?” Kihyun asks, falling in step with Changkyun. “Make a friend, I mean…”

“I hope so...” Changkyun says. “Hoseok’s really nice…”

“Ah,” Kihyun’s frown goes away. “Then he probably already considers you his best friend.”

Changkyun chuckles a little, watches Engineers and Scientists work around them as they walk through the hanger. “Gonna need to get Hyungwon to warm up to me, though. May have fallen asleep on his partner. Ex. Whatever you wanna call it.”

“Uh,” Kihyun makes a funny face like it’s painful and then laughs a little. “Not a good start, then. Hoseok is off limits.”

“It was a platonic cuddle!”

“Maybe, but try explaining that to Hyungwon,” Kihyun snorts. “He will probably let you talk and then act like you didn’t.”

“Charming guy, really.”

“Also, I don’t.” Kihyun says as they turn into the fitting room. The words _‘dislike you’_ ring in Changkyun’s head like a bell. “Not anymore, at least.”

A slight warmth grows in his chest as he smiles wide at Kihyun. “Oh. Thank you.”

“Ugh, don’t get smug,” Kihyun says as he rolls his eyes and starts shrugging his jacket off.

The fitting team is already here and they latch their little hands onto their clothes like they need them to strip faster. _Never gonna get used to this bit, seriously._ It’s only the second time Changkyun’s doing it but it feels like it’ll easily become habit.

Soon enough, they’re in the battle suits and Changkyun steps into the control pedals. Engineer Hwasa is busy linking all the parts of his suit as another checks his vitals. It seems faster, too, this time.

“You’ll be tapped into each others comms this time,” one of the engineers say. “You’ll be able to contact the other Jaegers through manual.”

“Channels?” Kihyun asks as he steps onto the pedals and they lock onto him.

“One for Paladin Jinx and Two for Tempest Echo. Weapon system has been calibrated and everything was installed overnight.” The engineer chuckles and looks up at Kihyun. “Don’t have too much fun, Captain. These things are expensive.”

Kihyun rolls his eyes, “That’s like having a toy you’re not supposed to use. Besides, I have a bone to pick with the U.N. General. I use them, he pays for more.”

“By a bone, he means a whole skeleton,” Changkyun adds, helpfully.

Hwasa glances up at him and chuckles. “Already in each others heads and we haven’t even tapped you in?”

“Occupational hazard, really.”

“The only hazard in here is you,” Kihyun says. “It’s like a snowstorm inside my head when we’re linked, but it’s numbers instead of frozen water.”

“Ah, but you gotta listen to the numbers, Ki,” Changkyun says, glances over with a knowing, serious expression. “The numbers never lie.”

Kihyun looks over and glares. “Don’t start me with the handwriting of God… I swear…”

Changkyun just laughs. “Hell, no. Not that kind of scientist.”

Hwasa laughs, too, finishes checking the vitals bracelet and sighs. She looks up at Changkyun and then side-glances at Kihyun for a moment before leaning in a little to whisper, “Say… When you’re back… Will you be too busy?”

Changkyun shakes his head a little, “No. Is there a fix you need help with or something?”

She huffs a laugh and shakes her head. “No… I was just wondering if you… Wanted to hang out..?” She smiles a little.

“Oh,” Changkyun beams. “Yeah! Of course, sounds like fun.”

“Great!” Hwasa smiles wider, “I’ve been wanting to go into the city for a while. Wanna come with?”

“Sure, I’ve never been there,” Changkyun smiles wide, too. Guess people around here really are warming up to him, all of a sudden. Maybe it’s the Ranger thing? Whatever it is, he’s… happy to make friends.

Hwasa nods and then makes to turn away but, instead, she turns back to Changkyun, kisses the top of his helmet and says, “For luck!” before dashing away.

Changkyun isn’t sure if he’s blinking or frowning or blushing or just all of them at the same time. And when he looks at Kihyun, well… Kihyun is looking at him in utter amusement, one eyebrow up. The word _‘Really?’_ pops into Changkyun’s head.

“Wha--what?” Changkyun stutters, flushes even more.

Kihyun huffs a laugh and shakes his head, reaches for the intercom, “Rogue Fox in standby,” he says, turns the intercom off.

 _“Stand by for Neural Handshake, Rogue Fox,”_ Jooheon says over the line.

“She just asked you out,” Kihyun says, tilts his head when he glances over. “And I bet my career you didn’t even notice.”

Kihyun’s career is safe.

Changkyun gapes at him, cheeks suddenly pink. “What?!”

“ _Neural Handshake in ten, nine--_ ”

“Oh, this will fun,” Kihyun chuckles, turns front. “And we’ll actually be walking. Can’t wait for the overthinking for the next six hours.”

_“Six, five, four--”_

“But--” Changkyun fumbles, “I don’t--why would she?-- _Oh, God_ …”

“ _Three, two_ \--”

“You don’t, what?” Kihyun asks. But then, suddenly, everything gets sucked in and all Changkyun sees is darkness.

Darkness and then a light. And, again, memories flashing like a movie reel. It’s easier, this time. Shorter, almost. Like it’s a movie he’s seen before, has near memorized. A specific memory, though, a feeling and someone’s silhouette, seems to linger for a moment. It’s painful, it makes Changkyun’s chest ache, but then it’s gone.

Changkyun snaps back to reality with a gasp.

“Right hemisphere calibrating,” Kihyun says, and Changkyun feels his right arm move.

Changkyun snaps out of his own thoughts as well-- _Why would she ask me of all people? I don’t know if I like her. Should I still go? Complicated--_ and concentrates. “Left hemisphere calibrating,” he mutters, raising his arm, moving his fingers.

 _“Changkyun, you’re a bit off, compensate.”_ Jooheon warns.

“Sorry, sorry,” he says, shakes his head a little as if to clear it and concentrates. _Numbers, readings, much easier_. “Should be fine, now.”

“I really don’t care about pi,” Kihyun grumbles. “Bring back the little thoughts.”

 _“Movement Calibration in Transit,”_ the A.I. says.

“Like what?” Changkyun asks, doing little sums in his head anyway. It grounds him, sometimes. Numbers make sense. His own feelings? Not always.

“They’re not supposed to make sense,” Kihyun says.

 _“Diagnosis in process.”_ The A.I. says and then beeps. _“System at 99%.”_

 _“Opening the front gate,”_ Jooheon announces. _“Coupling confirmed, you are free to go.”_

There’s a loud screech, metal sliding against metal, and the front gate opens. Its slow, heavy doors giving way to the horizon. The sky is grey, but the sky is always grey around here. The waves clash against the concrete floor by entrance, drums of war pounding against it.

The vastness of the ocean, that’s what awaits them. And even though something so big, deep and unknown should make it easy to lose hope, Changkyun feels a little flame in his heart and someone else’s spark in his head.

Rogue Fox trembles as she slides over the railings across the garage. Changkyun can spot the other two Jaegers initializing, engines heating up. The Conn-pod shakes again once the reach the edge, wheels locking onto the rails. There’s a beep and the words ‘CLEAR’ scroll on the A.I. display.

Kihyun glances over, tonguing at the corner of his lips, and Changkyun looks at him for a moment before looking front at everything, at the horizon, at where the sky and the sea meet.

There’s a sound and the wheels unlock from Rogue Fox’s feet. She topples onto the water like a screw, metal feet digging into the soft sand of the shore. Everything shakes and Changkyun feels himself take in a breath at the same time he hears Kihyun do it, hears Kihyun think in sync with him;

_One small step for Sharon…_

And as Changkyun lifts his leg to start walking, so does Kihyun, and Changkyun is not sure whose thoughts are whose with something as simple as walking. And it should be simple, but he can hear the loud, heavy noise with every footfall, the machinal sounds of mechanical wheels rolling against wheels right underneath their feet.

Changkyun laughs a little to himself. This is… kind of awesome.

Suddenly, they’re not just two people. They’re a giant.

The rain bathes the blue painted metal of the Rogue Fox as they walk, the sea lever no higher than before, water by Rogue’s knees. There are choppers flying around them, ready to track their movements, a few boats are scattering just ahead.

It’s heavy, like Changkyun needs to make a conscious effort to bring up one leg and then the other. And he can feel it, the drag of the sea water, the current. It’s like driving a car with the steering wheel pulling left, having to always keep it steady. Except this is a really heavy steering wheel.

 _Imagine doing this alone,_ Kihyun thinks and Changkyun feels it, the slight wonder, _The strain alone… Nevermind the brain damage._

The world map in front of Changkyun’s eyes beeps as the radar turns on, and Kihyun pulls on the virtual display, since the visor is getting blurry with the rain.

 _“Hello, hello!”_ A familiar voice says over the intercom. Seola.

 _“Hey, boys,”_ Dami says, too.

Changkyun grins with the weirdest sense of… Exhilaration? Hell, maybe it’s just adrenaline. “Hey!”

 _“First time out,”_ Dami says. _“How are you two doing?”_

“Changkyun is computing pi,” Kihyun snorts, voice a little strained as they keep walking.

The ocean is deep. Changkyun knows that. Everyone knows that. But they keep walking and the water doesn’t come up, still washing at Rogue Fox’s knees.

 _“Rogue Fox? Confirm nav point, just sent it your way,”_ Jooheon says. And indeed, the map beeps with a red dot at the farthest end.

Changkyun frowns at the map, mumbling to himself. “Oh, right, it’s near Alaska… Guess I’m going home.” And speaks up, “Confirmed. 52°00'0.00" N 172°00'0.00" E.”

 _“Paladin Jinx on her way,”_ Hyungwon sounds over the intercom. _“Also, don’t talk to me, Kihyun.”_

Kihyun laughs a little. “Charming…”

“Can _I_ still talk to you?” Changkyun teases. He gets from Hyungwon what he expected to get from Hyungwon.

_“You slept with my ex.”_

_“What?!”_ Seola and Dami shout at the same time.

Jooheon clears his throat over the intercom. _“Uhm… Guys?”_

“Literally slept! Unconscious!” Changkyun flushes. _Why are these things happening to me today_...

Kihyun smiles a little, glances at the sensors. “We’re getting deeper, a hundred meters before thrusters.” He looks at Changkyun, finger over the mute button over the intercom. “So? Are you going out with Engineer Hye--Hwasa tonight?”

Changkyun looks back with eyes a little wide. “Should I?”

Kihyun shrugs and Changkyun feels a certain indifference in his own chest that doesn’t belong to him.

“Do you like her?” Kihyun pauses, frowns. “Sometimes I forget you’ve never actually dated anyone… And then it pops in my head as if I’m the one who hasn’t dated anyone...”

“Then you should also know that I _don’t_ know,” Changkyun grumbles. “How am I supposed to know if I like her or not?”

“You go and figure it out?” Kihyun says, glances over. “It’s okay if in the end you realize it’s not what what you want. I mean sure, people have feelings, yadda yadda,” he frowns, “But it’s okay to figure yourself out. So..? Go? You won’t know unless you do.”

Changkyun just nods.  _Just ask..._ “Right… Then, I guess I am…?”

Kihyun smiles at him and Changkyun sees them, _kind eyes._ They’re warm, too. “The city is pretty, by the way. So, at least that will be worth the trip.” Kihyun turns to the panel and taps at it, and Changkyun catches a few images of the city. “Engaging thrusters. Sealing vents and ports.”

 _“Safe travels, water boys,”_ Jooheon chuckles.

 _“Sealed,”_ the A.I. says and water clashes against the Conn-pod as Rogue Fox leans into the water and compacts herself, arms clinging closer to the body, head locking, legs locking together. _“Submerging.”_

 _“Engaging thrusters!”_ Seola sing-songs. _“Time to swim like the mermaid we are!”_

Dami laughs a little and Hoseok grumbles.  
  
_“More like a whale…”_

Kihyun grins. “Does anyone remember that bigass water cat dinosaur…? What was its name…”

 _“I sure hope he isn’t talking to me,”_ Hyungwon says.

“The one that had a dick-shaped head, too,” Kihyun says. “The one that ate the shark in that old Jurassic World movie!”

The A.I. display reads, ‘MOSASAURUS’.

Kihyun sighs, “Yes, thank you, Sharon.”

Changkyun looks at Kihyun to beam. “You called her Sharon!”

 _“Oh, god, they’re bonding…”_ Hyungwon grumbles.

“No,” Kihyun chuckles but Changkyun knows Kihyun won’t mean whatever he says next, “It was just you inside my head, speaking with my mouth.”

 _“Thrusters engaged.”_ Sharon says. And they feel the sudden impact as Rogue Fox starts moving faster. Like a torpedo underwater. A really big torpedo.

 _“Sounds like bonding to me,”_ Dami sing-songs. Changkyun can see the Tempest Echo’s signature, far, far away from them on the map. They’re fast; but it goes with being the smallest.

 _“Then Changkyun can sleep with him instead,”_ Hyungwon says.

“He sleeps in my room, already,” Kihyun says, flicks the presence lights off. “And he’s already inside my brain. I don’t need him joined to my hip.”

 _“His hips and your hips doing hip things,”_ Seola laughs.

“Oh god,” Kihyun snorts and Changkyun just tries not to _think about it_.

 _“Kihyun couldn’t be hip if he tried,”_ Dami teases.

“Well, I’ve claimed the top bed,” Kihyun says. He feels a lot better than he did a couple of minutes ago. “Since we’re a joke now, I might as well have fun with it.”

 _“See, I told you!”_ Seola says.

 _“Hyunjung…”_ Dami warns.

“Ah, so there’s betting?” Kihyun asks, glances at Changkyun and presses mute. “We can make money out of this, you know that right?”

Changkyun laughs. “You know I know, right? They’re all wrong.”

Kihyun lets his finger fall from the com. “So, hypothetically speaking, am I like some power bottom or is it the other way around? Asking for a friend.”

 _“What the fuck…”_ Hyungwon grumbles.

 _“Kyun has that fierce look sometimes but he also looks like a baby!”_ Seola says.

Changkyun gapes. “I’m part of this betting pool?!”

Seola laughs. _“Well, it was just me, doing me things. But I told everyone you two would fight so much it would turn into sexual tension.”_

“Oh wow,” Kihyun blinks. Makes a face. Suddenly, he feels awkward. _For real?_

And it doesn’t help when, _for some fucking reason_ , Changkyun thinks back to one of their sparring lessons, Kihyun in that goddamn tank top, lying flush on top of him. Changkyun flushes so hard at the rogue thought his brain nearly explodes. “End of conversation!” he squeaks.

“Im Changkyun,” Kihyun warns, “I felt that.”

 _“Oh! They’re doing it in the cockpit!”_ Seola barks over the intercom.

“And this is why!” Kihyun announces with exasperation, “I don’t like to call it a cockpit.” He shivers as he says the word and Changkyun feels his own shiver, too.

Changkyun just mutes the intercom and stares forward in horror.

“Ever regret every choice you ever made?” He mumbles.

“Right about now,” Kihyun says like he’s making casual conversation.

Changkyun just… laughs. And when he does, so does Kihyun.

Just like that, everything is fine.

  
  
  


Until it isn’t.

 _“Disengaging,”_ Sharon announces and Rogue Fox stands up in the middle of nothing but pressure, tons and tons of sea water above them.

It’s deep. It’s dark. And it’s quiet.

Kihyun flicks the presence lights on and the visor brightens up, but the visibility is null. They see water and more water, a deep blue filled with bits of sand floating in it.

Changkyun stares at the small screen next to him. Simple readings, but--”Kihyun, there’s… There’s a lot more exotic particles here than there should be…”

Kihyun frowns. “But why? Shouldn’t it be all around the Breach?”

Changkyun quickly runs the calculations in his head. _(Ugh, more pi,_ Kihyun grumbles inside Changkyun’s head, which, _no,_ Changkyun thinks, _that’s only for circles.)_ Simple predictions, but the rate of exotic mass is far exceeding what it should be. “Yes, but--and again, this is just another one of my theories--they tried to punch a few holes and this is the residue. It keeps bleeding into our world but… it’s exponentially worse than I thought it would be by now… I don’t understand, there had to be an outside force for this to happen, a fluctuation in time-space? Can’t be…”

“Wait. Wait.” Kihyun shakes his head. “What?”

 _“Guys?”_ Hoseok calls over the intercom, _“I’m sending an overview of my readings. It’s actually pretty low.”_

Fuck.

 _“We’re comparing,”_ Jooheon announces. _“The General is here.”_

Changkyun mutes himself, looks at Kihyun with wide eyes. “You know how lightning gets attracted to the tallest, most conductive thing in a wide area?”

Kihyun frowns and his heartbeat speeds up. “Yeah…”

“I told you that enough mass would pull their world through? They probably tried to open that Breach several times but failed. These points helped stabilize the one they managed to punch through, though. And these readings aren’t enough to do that, but… It may stabilise a rift. Long enough for a Kaiju to slip through. All the exotic mass from the other zones--” He swipes the readings over, and Kihyun sees how high their number is compared to the others. “Is being drawn _here,_ like a center of gravity. Soon… Shit, soon it’ll be heavy enough to… Fuck, I thought we’d have more time…”

Kihyun frowns, “So, before, all these places were like… random tries that, in the end worked as a… summoning circle to keep the Breach stable?”

“With that analogy, yeah, they were… the candles, I guess.”

“But you said it’s being drawn here? From the other places? Why?” Kihyun looks around as Rogue Fox moves a little. “There’s nothing here!” _Nothing that I can see, at least. Just… water._

“Look,” Changkyun says, brings the map up and expands it across the whole visor. “We’re here--” he points at the little red dot that indicates their presence. “And this--” he points again at all the other energy readings. “Are here. We’re just… central. It’s the path of least resistance towards what is pulling the particles.”

“Like a magnet,” Kihyun frowns. Something clicks. Changkyun feels it click inside his brain, too, looks over, honestly impressed. Kihyun reaches for the intercom, “Jooheon, send us an overview of the latest tectonic movements.”

_“Uh, alright. On it.”_

_“What is going on, Kihyun?”_ The General asks.

“Give us a minute,” Changkyun mumbles, and when Jooheon sends the data, they both stare at it in combined understanding. “Almost… exactly like a magnet, yeah…”

 _“Tempest Echo sending our readings!”_ Seola announces. It pops up on their screen and Sharon quickly adds it to the comparison.

“Ah, shit…” Kihyun says, shoulders slumping.

“The last Breach had…” Changkyun frowns. _Lemme think, I need to think--_ Changkyun frowns, thinks. Then, he looks at Kihyun again. “At this rate? Three days. Tops, three days until it reaches the same matter density as when the original Breach opened”

Kihyun’s eyes widen as he feels his heart drop. _Three days…?_ It’s just a tiny flicker against the wind and then an earthquake inside his heart, one Kihyun feels as his own.

It’s easy to talk about what can happen, about the possibilities, when they’re _mere_ possibilities. It’s different when it’s a reality, when it hits. When it comes crashing down, the realization that it’s been right under their nose and _now_ they simply have three days before everything begins again.

Except now it’s worse.

The world was supposed to end five years ago. Humanity thought they’d cancelled the apocalypse. But, as it turns out, it was simple delayed.

Kihyun quickly looks away, blinking and Changkyun feels the burn behind his eyes as his own, and it quickly is. For a moment, they share that, the sinking feeling of despair.

 _“Changkyun,”_ Shownu calls. _“Report.”_

“We’re coming back, ASAP,” Changkyun says, voice thick. “I was right, Shownu. I’m sorry.”

There’s a heavy silence that falls over them. And it has nothing to do with the water pressure.

The intercom makes a little static and then it beeps, _“What is that supposed to mean?”_ Hyungwon asks.

Kihyun reaches over, finger hovering over the speaker button. Changkyun can feel the reluctance, the anxiety, the fear. But then Kihyun presses the button and talks. And even though talking makes it real, Kihyun’s voice sounds way more assured than what the turmoil inside his chest begs him to show.

“Pull up a world map display, Jooheon…” He says.

_“Done.”_

_“What am I looking at, Kihyun?”_ the General asks.

Kihyun glances at Changkyun for a moment and talks while looking at him, because it helps, somehow. It helps. “The trenches. They’re weak points, deep. The core of our planet is like a magnet for these exotic particles. So, as the first Breach bled, the particles gathered alongside the trenches. Not to mention they tried to open several Breaches over the course of time. All of them failed but it destabilized the whatever space-time continuum shit, I don’t know. So, all these places full of exotic particles from failed rifts? They’re bleeding onto the trenches. That plus what the original Breach bled out? Every time our tectonic plates move, energy is released. So, all the particles float to where the magnetism is stronger. Which is…” Kihyun clears his throat, looks forward. “Here. In the Aleutian Trench.”

Silence.

 _“What the fuck is an exotic particle?”_ Hyungwon asks, first.

“Fingerprints of a wormhole,” Changkyun says, simply. “Enough of them will form another.”

“They’re like subatomic particles,” Kihyun says, frowns when he says it. “I guess I know that now… They’re what kept the Breach between worlds open.”

 _“Wait! So you’re saying that whatever kept the first Breach open is still floating around Earth?”_ Dami asks.

“And gathering here,” Kihyun says, shudders a little despite the sudden sobriety he seems to be finding and latching onto.

“It’s not enough to maintain a stable wormhole for very long, but it will be open long enough for something to come through. And every rift brings more particles through.” Changkyun looks down, feels… guilt, of all things.

Kihyun glances over. “If the magnetic fields change, the particles move with them, right? Which means we could have multiple Breaches opening and closing…”

Changkyun just nods. _Until it’s enough to open the biggest one and bring enough mass through to turn our universe into theirs_ … Guilt. Guilt. _Guilt._

Kihyun lets go over the intercom, looks at Changkyun. “Hey… Don’t do that, don’t go down that road.” He points at his own head. “I can feel what you’re doing. Don’t.”

Changkyun smiles a little, and only registers the feeling when Kihyun gives it a name. Affection. “Yeah, I’ll try my best,” he says, clears his throat and presses the intercom. “I’ll fill you in once we’re back. We’re gonna have to reset that clock soon, Shownu.”

 _“Shit,”_ Hyungwon spits at the intercom. _“We’re going back.”_

 _“Us, too.”_ Dami says. Seola is quiet. And suddenly, Changkyun knows why. Knows she fears this with every fiber of her body. He knows because Kihyun knows.

 _“Very well,”_ Shownu says. _“I will need a written report on my table by tonight. I need to contact the W.N. I’ll see you once you’re back.”_

Kihyun taps over the screen and Changkyun reads, ‘COMPRESSING’ on the A.I. display as Rogue Fox compacts and lifts off the ocean floor.

 _“Initiating thrusters in three, two, one--”_ The Conn-Pod shakes. _“Thrusters initiated.”_

“Wait until you tell them how long we’ve got…” Kihyun mumbles. And then glances over. “They’ll jump at you like hyenas. Like you’ve got all the answers in your pockets.”

“It’s funny,” Changkyun says, without any humour. “Because nobody cares for years. I’ve been trying to warn them for five years, Kihyun.”

“Come to me, next time,” Kihyun says, tilts his head a little and looks forward. “I can make quite the case. When I try.”

Changkyun laughs a little. “Guess it’s easy for you to believe me when you can see into my head…”

Kihyun smiles a little. “You’re not a people person, so I’ll tell you… Human beings are kinda dumb. They crave safety so much they just… will discredit everything that threatens that safety. Out of fear. You always want to believe things are alright, even when they’re not. Even the most negative person in the world feels like this, in a way. It’s part of what it means to be human. Just like people believed that wall would protect them… Just like--” _I believed it would protect me and him._ “So, maybe I would have believed you,” Kihyun glances over. “Even without tapping into your head.”

“Even when I’m an asshole?” Changkyun asks, and he knows Kihyun can feel the odd sense of comfort that sits in his chest, suddenly.

“Look at our politicians,” Kihyun scoffs. “They’re all assholes and people still believe them. Who knows. Maybe I’d have believed you faster ‘cause you’re an asshole.” He shakes his head, turns his display off and keeps looking ahead. “Don’t let them eat you alive, is what I meant to say. And if they try, throw me at’em.”

Changkyun smiles. “Keep talking like that and I might just start liking you, Yoo Kihyun.”

“Don’t even joke,” Kihyun chuckles, “Our mutual hatred got us a goddamned ninety eight. I wonder what chaotic spite would get us.”

_Let’s get fucking 100%, Ranger._

A memory from Changkyun’s point of view, but Kihyun sees it, feels warmth and comfort and fingers in his hair, and for a moment, feels a small sense of shame. Shame. Shame that isn’t Kihyun’s.

“Just maybe,” Changkyun says. “It gets us the world back.”

  
  
  
  


Coming back was something neither of them was looking forward to. But for Changkyun, it’s just like Kihyun said, eyes on Changkyun, waiting for answers he doesn’t have. A pressure hanging in every room he walks into. Every room except one.

_Ours._

Theirs.

He washes off the smell of the ocean, lets the warm water soak into him, loosen his muscles and run over his face. He doesn’t have answers. Doesn’t even know where to start. But as much as the warm water helps, it’s not the warmth he’s after, not even nearly. Because he feels numb. He feels heavy and numb and he just wants someone to hold him and tell him everything will be okay.

Changkyun wanders back into the room. He can’t think of a single thing to say. He finds some of his casual clothes and puts them on like he’s not a Ranger, not supposed to go out there in three days and punch a Kaiju in the face, look a Breach in the eye and not understand it, not know how to fix it. It feels like trying to find the cure for a wound.

They thought time would be it, but all it did was fester and spread.

“Hey,” Changkyun says softly, though, when he sees Kihyun.

Kihyun glances up from where he is absently thumbing at his dog tags. He looks tired. Or maybe he’s just numb, too.

“Hey?” He lets the dog tags go and leans back on the chair next to the desk, crosses his arms and looks down.

Changkyun doesn’t know how to ask for it. Doesn’t even know if he should.

“How are you doing?” Changkyun asks instead, fiddles with his own hand in front of him.

Kihyun glances up, watches Changkyun for a moment and then sighs, looks back down. “Don’t know… I really… don’t know.” He scoffs a laugh and shakes his head. “I guess it will be a tough three days.”

“I think it’ll be even tougher after that,” Changkyun says, tries a small smile.

“Yeah,” Kihyun chuckles, glances over again. “You better not slack off…” He narrows his eyes. “You… Have a date tonight, right?”

Changkyun’s stomach falls a little as he nods. _Right.._. “Guess the end of the world is as good a time as any…”

“Yeah…” Kihyun smiles a little. “Honestly? It kinda is.” He sighs, turns to look at the desk. “I’d say, tell me all about it when you’re back. But I guess I’ll know either way.”

“Oh, that’s a bit embarrassing, I just realised,” Changkyun laughs. “You’ll see all my stupid fumbles and attempts.”

“You know what’s the worst part?” Kihyun says, voice near teasing. “I’m not even straight. This will be a nightmare.”

“My bad,” Changkyun teases back. Not that Changkyun is straight either, for that matter. Sexuality is a spectrum, yadda yadda. “I’ll get going, then. Try and get some sleep…”

“Aw, without you?” Kihyun jokes. “Just get going,” he says and turns in his seat to shove a foot at Changkyun’s ass. “And have fun. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” A pause. “Yeah, I said that right. I don’t want blurry images mid Drift.”

“Already going on a date with a girl. Pretty sure that counts as something you wouldn’t do, so,” Changkyun says, bows as he walks backwards to the door.

Kihyun narrows his eyes. “You know, you’re right. And I hate it.”

“I get the feeling,” Changkyun scoffs, gives a small wave and leaves.

 

 

Apparently, waking up in someone else’s bed is now becoming a habit. Except this time, it’s a matter of playing hide and seek with his pants as the shower runs and the realisation of what he’d done washes over him. And it’s fine! He knows it’s fine! Hell, the world could end any day now; somehow a girl has decided to go and like him, a girl who is smart and beautiful and okay with Changkyun complete lack of experience and-- _oh god_ , coming out of the shower, _shit._

Changkyun twists himself in her sheets and loses balance, flopping down onto the floor. Kihyun’s going to see this and mock him, Changkyun can already tell.

“Morning,” he hears.

“Morning,” he says into the floor before he orients himself and sits up. Hwasa is standing there, drying her hair with a towel. Oh shit. Oh, man, he really went and--and--shit he can’t call it a one night stand yet, can he? That’s insensitive. It feels insensitive. She’s so _nice_ , though. “How are you…?”

“Better than you, apparently,” she laughs, glances over as she picks up the blow drying and turns it on.

“I happen to quite like the floor, thanks…” Seriously, _where_ are his pants. It would help if he could see more than a few feet in front of him.

“I have to leave in a bit, hope you don’t mind. Feel free to take a shower. Just close the door behind you when you go.” She sighs. “Duty calls.”

“Yeah, same…” Changkyun manages to get the sheets around his middle as he stands up, looks at Hwasa. “Uhm. Thank you? For last night. It was nice to see the city and…” Forget. Find comfort in someone. Any comfort at all. Even if it’s not the person he really wants, the person who understands him probably better than anyone. The person who encouraged him to go on this date in the first place. “Well, you know…”

Hwasa laughs a little, turns the blow dryer off and walks to the locker. She pulls out underwear that she skillfully puts on under the towel. “You don’t thank someone for something like that,” she says and looks over her shoulder, smiling. “It goes both ways. You give and you take.”

For a lot of reasons, Changkyun blushes.

Hwasa throws the towel into her laundry bag and pads to the desk in her underwear, grabs her suit from the chair. It’s a one-piece suit so she has to step into it, button it over her waist and then pull on a shirt before she dresses the rest. _Damn, she’s hot._ Like, really, properly hot. Changkyun can barely believe he-- _well_.

There’s a reason he doesn’t go around outright calling himself gay. Straight? Hell no. Gay? Nope, definitely not.

“But yes,” she smiles at Changkyun as she pulls her hair into a ponytail and Changkyun blinks to pay attention to her face again. Whoops. “The city is really pretty. Sometimes I forget what it feels like, to be surrounded by buildings instead of giant robots. To listen to the sound of traffic… I miss that. So, yeah, it was nice!”

Changkyun smiles a little. He does like her. Truly. But… “So, we can go again, sometime? As… friends?”

Hwasa pauses for second and then finishes tying her hair. “Sure!” She says and smiles, eyes down.

Changkyun feels so damn guilty, already. She liked him. And he just needed someone. It’s so shitty… “I’m sorry, though,” he says, eyes burning just a little. “I didn’t mean to take advantage or anything, really…”

“Hey,” she turns to him and walks closer with small smile. “It’s okay. We’re all big boys and girls here, right? Besides, if we can stay friends, I’m happy.” She grins and pokes lightly at Changkyun head, which makes him laugh a little. “Besides… I can always brag. For a first time? You did great.”

Again, Changkyun blushes. “You keep saying I shouldn’t say thanks but that definitely sounds like a thing to say thanks over,” Changkyun laughs a little, again.

“Well, I hope you had a good time, at least, in all senses of the word,” she laughs and turns around.

“I did!” Changkyun quickly says. _Oh, god, images_. “A--A lot, really.”

“Good!” She grabs a few things from the desk and points at the little kettle, “You can get yourself some coffee before you leave, if you want.” She winks. “Gotta go now.”

“Wait,” Changkyun quickly says and scrambles a little. “Where are my pants?”

Hwasa blinks and then just laughs, points over Changkyun’s shoulder, “Near the locker.”

“Damn, that’s actually kind of an impressive throw... See you around?”

“Whenever you Drift, I’ll be there to,” she grins and tweaks a little, “Plug you in.”

 _Oh, Kihyun’s gonna hate me for this_ …

  
  
  
  


Everyone… is looking at him. Changkyun turns, takes an apple from the big bowl, and when he turns around, yep, they’re still looking at him. He sent out a memo about the Breach… Maybe they want more answers? He’s also pretty sure Shownu’s gonna have a Dome-Wide briefing or whatever so they can, like, _wait_ . He’s hungry and there’s apples and bacon. So, that’s what he gets. Tons of _that._

A few minutes later, he plops down at the ‘Ranger’ table, frowning. “Hi. Why is everyone looking at me?”

Everyone at the table looks at him. Hyungwon just rolls his eyes and looks away. Dami and Seola are grinning from ear to ear and Hoseok is all… smiley. _Why._

“Yeah, like that,” Changkyun mumbles.

“How was it?” Seola asks suddenly, leans over the table to whisper. “How do you feel?! Knowing you just slept with one of the hottest girls in the Dome.”

Changkyun chokes a bit on his apple. _Oh god, that’s why everyone’s looking at me?!_ He hits his chest to stop the choking. “ _What_?! Who--Who told you?!”

“Everyone?” Seola grins. “Some people saw you exit her room this morning. Rumours travel fast, my friend.”

Changkyun groans, runs a hand over his face after pushing his glasses up his head. “Ugh… All the soldiers already hated me, now I’ve just given them more reason, I guess...”

“Uh! Chaotic!” Seola elbows Dami but keeps her eyes on Changkyun. “I like it!”

A tray sets down next to Changkyun’s and Kihyun plops down next to him. “‘Sup…”

Dami leans into Seola’s bubble to whisper something in her ear and Seola laughs behind her hand. Changkyun almost throws them with the apple.

“It’s cute, though!” Hoseok says, shoves lightly at Seola, makes Dami tilt a bit, too. “She’s not just _hot_ , guys, she’s a nice person, I think Changkyun’s very lucky to have her.”

“Huh?” Kihyun asks like he just woke up, makes a face.

“I do not _have_ her,” Changkyun says, bites into his apple. He glances over at Kihyun, like an apology in advance.

Hyungwon laughs a little. “Oh, man…”

“Well,” Hoseok clears his throat. “Still. You’ve been there. Counts as something.”

Kihyun narrows his eyes like he’s struggling to think and then just shrugs and shoves some eggs into his mouth.

“It’s not going to happen again,” Changkyun says, because he feels he has to. “We’re just friends…”

“I guess I know why the two of you are drift compatible, then,” Hyungwon scoffs and then whimpers when an apple hits his head. _Not_ Changkyun’s apple, though. Huh.

“I don’t like to abuse my power as _your_ superior so just shut up, you insensitive asshole,” Kihyun says, eyes narrowed.

Hyungwon frowns and pouts, glances at Changkyun. “Sorry…”

Changkyun doesn’t say much, then, prefers to wallow a little in his guilt and mild shame.

“Hey, Ki,” Dami says as she munches on her own apple. “Did I really see you on the way to the kitchen at two in the morning or was I hallucinating?”

“Obviously hallucinating,” Kihyun says casually, doesn’t even look at her. “What were you doing up at two, though?”

“Well, you see, I wasn’t _sleeping_ ,” Dami munches. “So one thing led to another and turns out, I still wasn’t sleeping.”

“Yeah, I guess that happens,” Kihyun says, bites at a piece of bread.

Changkyun elbows Kihyun lightly. “What did I say about getting sleep? Tsk, you never listen...”

“I listen,” Kihyun says, “I just do what I want.” He pauses and then snorts a laugh. “Rarely, considering. But yes.”

“And Changkyun does _who_ he wants,” Seola says, holds out a fist for Dami who bumps hers against it as they both go, “Boom.”

Kihyun rolls his eyes, shoves some more eggs into his mouth and his cheeks puff. “Hm,” he says between some chewing, “You’re just jealous.”

“A little yeah,” Seola laughs. “I mean _hnnn!”_ She shivers. “Legs!”

“And _this_ is my cue to leave,” Kihyun chuckles, makes to get up.

“Mine, too,” Changkyun shivers. He looks up at Kihyun, though. “Up for some sparring? Taekwondo? I feel like--” Changkyun wiggles his arms around himself. “Movin’.”

Kihyun walks in silence, still munching, and Changkyun follows, watches Kihyun store his tray in the tray holder and then raise an eyebrow at him. “Didn’t get to move last night or is this not what you were all just talking about?” He shakes his head and laughs a bit as Changkyun blushes, bumps the back of his hand on Changkyun’s shoulder. “Come on…”

 

  
  
“It’s not a big deal, is it?” Changkyun asks, as he dodges Kihyun’s hand, spins himself around and behind Kihyun.

Kihyun lets himself fall forward, hands to the floor and throws a leg back and hooks it on the crook of Changkyun’s neck, brings him down to the floor.

_Ouch!_

Kihyun sighs, brings his hands back, flattened on the floor, as he leans back a little and looks up, leg still pinning Changkyun to the floor.

“You’re worried…” He glances at Changkyun. “About her or about yourself?”

“About her,” Changkyun says, a little strained as he hooks an arm around Kihyun’s knee to untangle himself and get up. “I mean, I don’t know if she had a covalent bond to me and I just shoved an ionic bond in her face, you know?”

“Can’t say I do,” Kihyun narrows his eyes as he lets Changkyun pin him down. “But, hm.” Kihyun lies back, stares at the ceiling. “You’re overthinking. Just let it go. It’s not like she confessed her undying love… or…” He looks at Changkyun. “Did she?”

“No,” Changkyun says, rolls his eyes as he holds a hand out for Kihyun to pull him up. “Still, this is a bit… I don’t know, I let this world ending thing get the best of me, I guess…”

“You’re human,” Kihyun says, takes Changkyun’s hand and gets up with his help. “I’d be slightly concerned if you didn’t let it get to you. Wait until everyone gets the memo. The Psychology department will get busy, I assure you.”

“Either that or there will be orgies happening everywhere,” Changkyun laughs.

“One last bump before we die,” Kihyun snorts, shakes his head. He looks at their hands and then lets go. “Look, if… If she’s okay with it, whether she’s telling the truth or not, then it’s fine. You can’t read minds, apart from Drifting, I guess, but… You only have what she tells you.” He looks at Changkyun. “If she’s okay, then be okay. You had a good time, right? That’s it.”

“I guess,” Changkyun mumbles. He feels… better. Less guilty, at least. But still, he wishes he’d been able to actually find what he was looking for. “Now come on, pretend I’m a giant cloned lifeform.”

“Meh,” Kihyun smiles a little as he steps back, “They’re kinda ugly. Try making a _really_ ugly expression. Maybe I can picture it.”

Changkyun huffs a small laugh before squaring his shoulders. He moves his head like he’s winding himself up before pushing his chin back as much as it will go, pulling his lips down and closing his eyes into little squinty slits.

“Yep, that’s it. I’m killing you before you lay eggs!” Kihyun says despite the small laugh.

Changkyun relaxes his face and laughs.

 _This._ This is what was missing. Whatever _this_ is.

“You’ll have to catch me first, though,” Changkyun says, sticks out his tongue and tries to dart past Kihyun but Kihyun manages to catch him by the wrist and pull him back into a lock. It’s not a very strong lock, feels more like a strange hug from behind around Changkyun’s neck, though.

“You’re the worst Kaiju ever, Cat 0, I say.” Kihyun says. He squeezes the lock just a little bit and then lets go.

“I’m taking that as a compliment,” Changkyun laughs, reaches up for his throat. “ _Ugh_ , you’ve killed me…”

“Yeah, well,” Kihyun walks away to pick up his towel and throw it over his shoulder. “You have some pi to compute and I have…” He sighs. “I don’t know. I’m sure the General will let me know soon enough.”

“You know not all math is pi, right? I feel like you are unfairly fixated on pi, you’re gonna give me a craving.”

“Now that’s a word,” Kihyun laughs. Throws the other towel at Changkyun and walks past him to pick up his boots. “I’ll see you later?” _A question?_ At least it sounded like one.

“Sure,” Changkyun smiles, puts his hand up to wave a little. “See ya.”

  
  
  


The Dome-Wide report comes exactly at six in the afternoon and fear installs itself when the screen displays a clock. It’s all zeros, nothing is counting. But everyone knows what it means.

Kihyun feels… Numb is not enough a word to explain it.

They thought they’d canceled the apocalypse five years ago. Turns out that wasn’t the apocalypse. This whole thing, these past years… It’s Ragnarök. A series of events, some that haven’t happened yet, that lead to an end. And this might be the end.

Kihyun doesn’t remember spending so much time looking down. He even forgets it’s raining until he has to look out the windows. And it’s not just raining. There’s a lightning storm in the distance, too, right above the grey horizon of the ocean.

The General’s office has a big window. And now that Kihyun looks through the glass, out the open main gates, his eyes are stuck and he can’t look back at the big screen on the wall.

 _“I am sending a team of my own to aid your scientists,”_ The U.S.A. Marshall says over the the video call. _“We should be dividing this work through the Domes.”_

“Sir?” the General questions. “I appreciate the offer and we will welcome whomever you sent our way. But with all due respect, we have the best equipment here. And the most advanced supercomputer.”

 _Right. They moved the Pleiades when NASA got attacked last time._ Kihyun glances over, finally looks away from the window and then looks at the S.K. Marshal. He doesn’t seem happy about this.

 _“Our scientists”,_ the U.S.A. Marshal says, _“Are working with the readings you gave us to give a more accurate time for potential rift activity. The closest we’ve gotten to so far is the three days indicated on the initial report._ ” Kihyun was there when Changkyun did them in his head within barely a minute, too. _“Will you be ready by then?”_

“We will keep you updated,” the General says.

_“Very well. I will keep in contact. Ah, and Marshal Jongeun? Think about sending some of those Jaegers to the other Domes. This centralized power you’re amassing doesn’t sit well with the rest of us. Good day.”_

The call ends and Marshal Jongeun gets up, walks by without a word and exists the office.

“This is getting political,” the General says. “Again.”

“Surprised?” Kihyun mumbles. “I think they forget they were the ones who turned our base into an international port. And now they act like we stole from them. It’s like power is not being used correctly unless it’s in the U.S.A.’s hands.” _Bunch of hypocrites._

A knock on the door. “You called me here?”

The General looks up, motions Changkyun over. “I heard you were working on the sensors for potential rifts?”

Changkyun blinks a little, sits down next to Kihyun, their legs brushing. “With the unexpected density of the matter, and with how it will shift when another opens, I have to tweak it a lot to keep up. Why?”

The General glances out the window, pinching at his bottom lip in thought before sighing. “Allocate different research jobs for whatever ideas you have to close the Breaches once and for all. You’ll have a team joining you.”

Changkyun’s jaw tenses a little. “One of my prerequisites for coming here is _specifically_ asking that I work alone…”

“The world wasn’t ending when we asked you to come here, Changkyun.”

“I told you it would, if you remember,” Changkyun narrows his eyes. “Pretty sure even my parents tried to warn you people…”

Kihyun bumps his knee softly on Changkyun’s and looks at him, shakes his head. _Not now. You’re going to start a fight you can’t win, idiot._

Changkyun glances at him and sighs softly, bumps him back in understanding. “I’ll… allocate assignments, keep them working on the things I don’t have time for…”

“Good,” the General says and then turns to look at Changkyun. “I think you’ll agree that there are things that should stay between us. I know we should be all working as one to stop this. But I’m not getting a good feeling from the U.S. or the E.U.” The General sighs. “China and Russia agreed to send people. Engineers and a couple of their own teams. But they’re independent. They’re also sending a couple of candidates and spare parts and…” He sighs again. “Just when I was about to ask for a vacation…”

Changkyun seems to smile a little, keeps his leg where it had bumped against Kihyun. “Three days until it starts but we’ll still have time… I’ll figure out a way to fix it. Or, well, I’ll try my best, at least…”

“We all have a job to do,” the General says, pulls at his chair to take a seat. “But don’t forget you’re not alone. Whatever you need will be at your disposition.” He looks at Changkyun. “I just ask you to be patient with me. I have… to keep things from falling apart and that means agreeing to certain requests.”

“It’s okay, hyung,” Changkyun smiles a little at the General, shrugs. “I’m here, aren’t I…”

“We would be dead if you weren’t,” the General says, smiles a little, too. “You’re dismissed. The both of you.” He glances at Kihyun. “Don’t forget about what I told you.”

Kihyun frowns. “Sir.” He gets up and turns around to leave. Changkyun stands up, too, but walks to behind the General, Kihyun glancing over his shoulder just as he sees Changkyun with his chin on the General’s shoulders, arms squishing him in a hug.

“Thank you,” Kihyun catches Changkyun say lowly.

 _‘Don’t let him die’,_ Shownu said. And Kihyun just rolled his eyes. Because, _yeah… Tell me something I don’t know._ After all, there are so many reasons why Changkyun needs to come back every time he goes out there. Reason number one being; he’s their top scientist. Reason number two; if someone else dies on Kihyun’s watch, maybe he’ll just end it on his own terms. There is only so much a person can take.

  
  
  


There’s an empty pack of ice cream in their room. Changkyun frowns at it, opens the trashcan and tosses it in. When had Kihyun had ice cream? And why does the idea of Kihyun eating ice cream on his own make Changkyun so damn sad?

He remembers Dami saying in the cafeteria that she’d seen Kihyun wandering around in the middle of the night, the night Changkyun had stayed with Hwasa. Changkyun studies science, and as such, believes in cause and effect.

He’s looking at the effect. He’s not so sure about the cause.

After a shower, some numbers and too much overthinking on his part, Changkyun is in bed. He’s tired but he can’t sleep. Knows he won’t be able to with all the thoughts running through his head ( _he’s loud,_ Kihyun had said) and will only fall asleep to dream terrible dreams that are slowly becoming more and more real.

It’s not even winter yet but Changkyun feels cold, and maybe that’s why he threw most of his principles out of the water and spent the night with Hwasa. It was warm, then, at least. He kicks the sheets (cold) off of himself and goes to his locker, finds another sweater and pulls it over his head, pulling the sleeves over his hands before padding back to bed.

It’s late. He’s cold. But when the door opens and Kihyun walks in (in the most casual sweater and sweatpants Changkyun’s seen on him) the room feels a little warmer.

Kihyun tosses a few things over the table and frowns. “Still awake?”

Changkyun nods, wipes at his eyes in the dim light. “Cold…” _Scared_. “Can’t sleep.”

“Hm,” Kihyun breathes, kicks his sneakers off and then kicks them as he walks towards the locker, one hand in his pocket, and picks them up with his foot to store them inside. “There’s a lot of lights on today… I guess you’re not the only one.”

“Can’t blame ‘em,” Changkyun grumbles, shivers a little and pulls the sheets tighter around himself. “Is that why you’re up..? I saw the ice cream thingy…”

Kihyun closes the locker but doesn’t turn around. “I like walking. My brain doesn’t think much about things when I walk.” He glances at the trashcan. “Sorry about the ice cream tub. Must have forgotten to throw it out.”

“S’okay,” Changkyun smiles. “Share next time, though. Don’t wanna break tradition.”

Kihyun huffs a laugh and turns to walk closer. “Once. One time doesn’t make it tradition, idiot.” He pats at Changkyun’s knees and sits down on the bed. “You know…” He glances over. “I have orders to keep you alive. So, you’ll stay alive. No matter what. And you kick some ass until you’re the last man standing. Fight them with neutrons or whatever. I don’t care. But you fight.”

_Don’t you fucking cry, Im Changkyun…_

“If I die,” Changkyun says, in moderate control of his voice. “You’ll have broken orders, right? Don’t wanna give you a chicken dinner or whatever, so…”

Kihyun smiles nods and looks away as he pats Changkyun’s leg. “I might not be good at many things. Thankfully, I’m not really good at disobeying either. So, you’ll live. Even if it’s the last thing I do.” He gets up from the bed. “So don’t worry. They’re just… ugly as fuck and scream a bunch of nonsense. But hey, so does Minhyuk.”

Changkyun laughs, and surprises himself when, as Kihyun makes to leave, Changkyun reaches out with a sleeve around his hand and takes a hold of Kihyun’s wrist. It’s not a strong hold, reminds him of their lesson earlier, but Changkyun blinks at his hand before he lets it fall again.

 _Just ask,_ Hoseok had said. Changkyun hates how quiet he suddenly becomes.

Kihyun looks at him for a moment. And when he looks away, makes to climb up to his bed, he stops, rolls his eyes and sighs.

“Roll over,” he tells Changkyun as he waves him to the other side of the bed. Changkyun scooches over to the other side of the bed as if on instinct, even as his heart pounds a little and his cheeks go pink.

Maybe he did ask, after all.

But wanting something, asking for it, and actually getting it, are three very different things. Changkyun watches as Kihyun climbs onto the bed next to him and fits himself under the covers, curls his knees up and they bump against Changkyun’s.

“Here,” Kihyun says as he brings his dog tags from under his shirt and pulls them over his head, moves closer to fit them over Changkyun’s head.

Changkyun blinks at them, reaches up to hold them in his hand. He tries to read the inscriptions but it’s too dark. “Why..?”

“When this is over, you have to give them back,” Kihyun says, blinks slowly as he watches Changkyun’s face. “Okay?”

Changkyun can feel their knees still against each other, and it’s probably the only part of him that doesn’t feel cold. “Okay.”

Kihyun turns his face a little into the pillow and frowns. “Now sleep. There’s shit to do tomorrow.”

Changkyun huffs a small laugh, tucks the dog tag into his shirt and they're warm, too, against his chest. “Goodnight,” Changkyun says, then, shifts and turns around to get comfortable.

“G’night, Kyunie,” Kihyun mumbles.

Quickly, and with warmth in his chest and a small smile on his face, Changkyun falls asleep.


	6. Big Boi Scorpio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Many things might be Changkyun’s fault. Like the little mushy ball of care he managed to stuff inside Kihyun’s chest at some point. But the end of the world? Not Changkyun’s fault.

Changkyun wakes up with his fingers clutched to the dog tags around his neck. Between waking up and being aware, Changkyun is simply conscious, warm and heavy. He sighs a little, doesn’t want to open his eyes, just wants to sink into a bed that’s never felt this damn soft before.

It takes a second, a very long second, but a single second, for Changkyun to remember how he fell asleep, and to realise, now, how he’s waking up. There’s an arm around him, steady even breaths warm against his hair.

Like Kihyun is an open flame and a little movement will get him burned, Changkyun stays as still as he can. He didn’t have any nightmares. He didn’t wake up feeling cold. Maybe it’s okay to be a little selfish, every now and then, which is what Changkyun tells himself when he stays exactly where he is.

The morning call hasn’t sounded yet, which means it’s not seven yet. Kihyun always wakes up before the morning call. So, either he already woke up and is just playing dead, or he’s going to wake up soon. The warm little space in Changkyun’s chest hopes Kihyun’s being a little selfish, too.

It’s kind of funny; the first few nights sleeping in this room, Changkyun had woken up annoyed at Kihyun’s snoring, but Kihyun was in his bed the whole night and apparently didn’t make a sound.

Changkyun shifts a little as if testing something. Which, he kind of is. But all he gets is a change of breath and a little, groggy sound. Changkyun thinks ‘ _cute_ ’ and then immediately chastises himself. Is it bad that he wants Kihyun to wake up and see where they are, so Changkyun can just… gauge a reaction? Something between _‘oh god what have I done_ ’ and ‘ _yeah, 10/10 would do again_ ’.

So, Changkyun shifts again, just a little, like he’s sleeping and dreaming.

“Keep wiggling and I’ll smash your head into the wall,” Kihyun grumbles.

 _Aaaand, he’s back_. Changkyun stops wiggling for fear of death, makes to glance a little over his shoulder. He can’t see much, but he can see Kihyun’s eyes are closed and his hair is defying gravity. “Morning, sunshine.”

Kihyun still has his arm over Changkyun. And apparently, he’s owning up to it since he doesn’t overreact when he open his eyes and stares at Changkyun. “Still raining…”

“Not in here, it isn’t,” Changkyun smiles at Kihyun’s stare.

Kihyun frowns and then rolls his eyes, finally moves his arm away as he stretches and then goes limp. “You’re so damn cheery first thing in the morning...”

“Not always,” Changkyun admits, rolls around to his other side and stretches as well. “You should know that… Barely had me alive before nine for a while there…”

“I also happen to know you like thick toilet paper,” Kihyun grumbles, “And yet I just try not to think about all the things I know that you haven’t told me.” He sits up, makes a strange face and rubs at his chest. “Christ… I’m in a bad mood today.”

“Already?” Changkyun laughs, incredulous. “Yikes, we haven’t even had breakfast.”

“Must be the weather,” Kihyun mumbles and then gets up. “That or a very stupid gut feeling that today is just going to suck. And not in the good kinda way.”

Changkyun just laughs softly again. Dick jokes. Really not something he expected from the Captain. “At least find something to be grumpy about. Preemptive grump is why Hyungwon is the way he is.”

Kihyun steps into the bathroom and slides the door closed. “Don’t remind me,” he says and his voice echoes a little. “And don’t worry. I’m sure there will be more than just one reason to be moody.”

“Mm, can’t wait to find out…”

  
  
  
  
  


And indeed. There have been many reasons to be moody. The day is only half way done and Kihyun has already felt like exploding at least five times. Thankfully, he’s not piloting today. Because two radioactive things buzzing together is never really a good thing. Those things being him and the Jaeger.

And now? Now everything is an excuse to feel bad.

But nothing, repeating, nothing, is nearly as madening as desperate people trying to place blame, trying to badge it onto someone like it’s their damn fault.

Because many things might be Changkyun’s fault. Like the little mushy ball of care he managed to stuff inside Kihyun’s chest at some point. Or the extra emotional baggage Kihyun has to carry around. But the end of the world? Not Changkyun’s fault.

People are scared. Mad. The weather is grey. Everything feels dim and numb. And while some just keep going at it like they’re on auto-pilot (Kihyun being one of them) others try to feel better by talking shit.

And sure, Kihyun could pull on the rank thing and tell them to mind their own business. Because it’s stupid to waste time with people when all they want to do is start a fight. Especially when those people are soldiers, who think putting a fist on something will solve the problem. But while this might not apply to them, it kind of applies to Kihyun.

A few jabs here and then. Fine. Two of them at Changkyun and Kihyun takes a breath and turns around to punch someone in the face.

Of course nothing is ever this simple. And it takes a superior officer’s word to break the five of them apart.

 _Blablabla,_ something about ‘unbecoming’ and ‘unworthy’ and then a quick ‘disperse’ to have them and their little crowd scattering to the four winds. Kihyun just ambulates to the closest bathroom, though. His nose is dripping.

“Are you okay?” Changkyun asks, despite the bruise Kihyun can see blooming on Changkyun’s cheekbone.

“Great,” Kihyun says as he rolls two bits of paper and stuffs them in his nostrils. “You?”

“Just got punched in the face…” Changkyun says, hovers. “So all things considered, not too bad.”

Kihyun glances up and sees Changkyun’s reflection in the big mirror. “It kinda fits you. I’m just sad I didn’t think of that myself a few weeks back.” He chuckles and shakes his head. “I’m joking…”

“Thanks,” Changkyun huffs a small laugh, winces as he reaches to touch his cheek. “I was actually worried, just now…”

Kihyun sighs and turns around, gestures at his own face. “I have papers coming out of my nose. I assume I look gorgeous, so. Don’t worry too much. The ladies will still swoon. You know some people have scar kinks?”

“Never really saw the appeal,” Changkyun teases, and when he looks at Kihyun, his eyes are soft. “You didn’t have to punch that guy, Ki…”

“Oh, I didn’t,” Kihyun says seriously, “His face felt magnetically attracted to my fist. That’s all.”

Changkyun barks a small laugh, shakes his head. “Right, of course…” Changkyun glances away and back. “You look silly… Think there’s a nosebleed kink out there, too?”

Kihyun raises an eyebrow. “Why? Are you catching feelings?” He moves his nose on purpose. It hurts but it makes the papers move, too.

Changkyun laughs again but it sounds more like a giggle, really. “Sto--stop it--”

Kihyun smiles a little and looks away. Out of all the things he latches on so he can forget the world is going to end sooner or later (even though his world ended five years ago), apparently, unwanted affection is Kihyun’s new oxygen.

 _Friend,_ was it. The thing about Drifting, however, is that everything takes on a deeper meaning. There is a friend and then there is a friend with whom you Drift. It’s different. Kihyun has a few friends, a list that keeps getting shorter as time goes by. But a Drift friend? It’s almost kind of spiritual. There is understanding. There is trust. Respect. Empathy. And a strange, deep-seated kind of affection.

“Come on,” Kihyun says as he walks by, “I think I have pain killers in my locker. You’re gonna need them.”

“But it already hurts,” Changkyun whines. “Don’t tell me it’s gonna get worse.”

“Yep,” Kihyun huffs a laugh. “It’s going to get way worse.”

  
  
  
  
  


“We’re taking a detour, if you’re seriously going to insist on being my personal bodyguard,” Changkyun teases. He looks a lot more like he had on his first day; plus the bruised face, obviously. It’s nice to be in his _own_ clothes. Maybe that’s something the military doesn’t really understand. Solidarity is nice but Changkyun misses being himself every now and then.

“It’s not like I have anything better to do,” Kihyun grumbles, keeps glaring at people who look at them twice. “Feeling useless in the three days where everything counts is a strange feeling. Maybe that’s why I’m moody today.”

“I get what you mean,” Changkyun says, bumps at Kihyun’s shoulder. “Stop _glaring_ , you’re magnetizing your own face.”

Kihyun huffs a laugh and looks away but Changkyun still sees a grin. “Sure… Sorry.”

“Just trying to prevent some more disorderly conduct and what have you,” Changkyun says, smiles as well. “Also, I got my hyung to give me the passkey to the kitchen so I don’t have to break in anymore. _Anything you want is at your disposal,_ he said. _Snacks_ , I replied.”

Kihyun snorts and glances over. “You know, I just punched a guy today because he called you a lapdog. Please, don’t make me regret it…” He shakes his head. “Also, I was in charge of the manifestum yesterday. There’s mini pizzas. They brought in mini pizzas. Like, a whole fifty packs of twenty each.”

Changkyun gapes as they near the kitchen. “It’s like you read my mind!” And then laughs. “Oh, _wait…_ ”

Kihyun blinks. “Is it a Drift thing? ‘Cause I’ve heard the strangest stories…”

“Maybe? All I know is I’ve been craving pizza like you can’t believe. And coca cola, for some reason.”

“Hm,” Kihyun nods. “I can… read your face a lot better for some reason. Not that I spend a lot time looking at you. But it’s like,” he narrows his eyes. “Weird. Like sometimes I know what you’re thinking. Even when I’m not in your head.”

Changkyun narrows his eyes right back, stops at the kitchen door. “Is that why--” _You got in bed with me last night?_

 _Don’t mention it, mentioning it makes it real_.

“Yeah, I get what you mean. But hey,” Changkyun shrugs, turns to put in the keycode and the doors open. “Whatever helps us get along, right.”

“A coke float,” Kihyun says and steps in. He looks around for a bit and then walks to the big freezer and opens it. “See? Tons of mini pizzas.”

Changkyun groans, head back. “A coke float and mini pizzas, it’s like I’ve already died and gone to heaven…”

Kihyun takes a pack of mini pizzas and closes the freezer, walks to the little oven. “You get ten, I get ten. Sounds fair.”

“Sounds amazing! I’ll make the cokes.”

They stay silent for a while. Kihyun puts the pizzas in the oven, turns it on and then walks to the table and hops on it to watch Changkyun fumble around.

Changkyun wants to ask him where the glasses are, but there’s already two big glasses on the table. _Mind reading, honestly_ … He finds the coke, finds the ice cream, and ipso facto-- “There you go,” Changkyun says, quite proudly as he holds the drink out for Kihyun.

“Thanks,” Kihyun says and takes it. He looks at it as it fizzles and the ice cream melts away. “Say… I know that…” He frowns and blinks fast. “Supposedly, people who Drift together don’t tend to explain things, talk about things, whatever. And I get it. Somehow you already know, I think but…” He sighs taps one finger on the glass and Changkyun hops up onto the table next to him, frowning softly. “Thank you… For doing this Ranger thing with me.”

Changkyun bumps their shoulders together, and the oven casts an odd red light over the kitchen. And no, Kihyun didn’t need to say it, but it’s still nice to hear. “Thanks for making it so easy for me…”

“Easy,” Kihyun snorts. “That’s not a word I’d use to describe it…”

“Easi _er_ ,” Changkyun clarifies. “It was never going to be easy but it could have been a lot harder.”

“Now, that’s a word,” Kihyun says, raises his glass a little and drinks.

“Cheers,” Changkyun teases, then, raises his glass in tandem. And it’s true. He thought he would be a lot more scared, that the realisation of his theories being fact would have him spiralling, but it’s easier when you have a friend who understands and shares your fears.

“For the record,” Kihyun says, turns his face but doesn’t look at Changkyun, “I think we make a good team. Despite our differences. I knew that when we sparred that first time.”

“I knew we’d be Drift compatible the first time we looked in each other’s eyes,” Changkyun says and then frowns. “That sounds… But you know what I mean.”

Kihyun laughs. “It’s a great pick up line, I’ll give you that.” He leans closer to look Changkyun in the eye and say in a funny, deep voice, _“You and I, we are Drift compatible.”_ He leans back. “And then you snatch them and run.”

“Would it have worked on you?” Changkyun jokes.

“You’re joking, right? Of course it would have worked on me,” Kihyun snorts, takes another drink. “I’ve wanted to find someone for so long. Need meets desperation.” He shrugs. “Who knows maybe I would have liked you if that had been the first thing you’d told me.”

Changkyun laughs. “I was just about to say--should have been all _‘oooh we’re drift compatible’_ not _‘blah blah I’m an asshole.’_ ”

“See?” Kihyun nods. “We’d be like besties by now.”

“Ah, I don’t think we’re doing too bad...”

The oven dings and Kihyun jumps from the table, places his drink down. “And that is the best sound in the universe, followed by the sound of the doorbell after you’ve ordered pizza.”

“Never heard that one, actually,” Changkyun says, kicking his legs a little, drink in his hand on his lap. “We can take the food to the lab, if you want. I usually eat there when I don’t get dragged to the cafeteria.”

“I’m on guard duty,” Kihyun says. “I go where you go.”

“Self-induced guard duty, mind you,” Changkyun gets off the table, gets the coke to fill up their glasses as Kihyun stacks the mini pizzas on two plates.

“Let a man do his job without being judged for it.”

  
  
  
  
  


A warm morning. A strange day with a fight in between. A call to the General’s office that ended in a few laughs instead of a warning. Pizza and coke floats. And now Changkyun is back at it, punching numbers into his laptop so he can give the computer some time to run predictions.

When the Kaiju first started to appear from the Breach, the time between each ‘event’ was half that of the previous interlude. Which means that 24 weeks becomes 12 and then 6. It’s simple math. But it has a tremendously terrifying Kaiju emergence rate.

Yet, Changkyun is not sure it’ll apply to what’s happening this time. They had six months, and then three, and so on. But this will be the first Kaiju emergence in 5 years, and Changkyun sincerely doubts they’ll have 2 and a half years before the next one. Because he doesn’t have the data yet, it feels like _everything_ is a variable and he can’t _get_ anywhere with a bunch of variables.

Last time, in 11 years total, there were 46 confirmed Kaiju attacks. Who knows how long they’ve got now. Because it’s not just fighting monsters, it’s fighting the whole of space time collapsing in on itself.

“We’re going to have to sleep in those damn Jaegers…” Changkyun mumbles, cheek squished against his hand as he stares at his computer screen.

“Hm,” Kihyun says, pokes at Changkyun’s Newton’s Cradle and watches it bounce back and forward.

“Well, at least I know what I’m getting you for Christmas,” Changkyun scoffs, glancing up over the rim of his glasses.

Kihyun smiles a little and keeps watching the balls bounce back and forward. “Newton’s Third Law… Right?” He glances over. “Or was it the first one? There are so many. He’s like the General, barking laws around.” Kihyun makes the balls stop and then picks up two of them and watches them hit the one in the middle, lifting up the two balls on the other side.

“Ah, don’t pretend you’re in it for the science and not the shiny steel balls,” Changkyun teases, looks back to the computer, uses the now finished simulation to solve the equation and moves back in his chair to write it on the big whiteboard behind him. It’s at least _one_ variable sorted… “Besides, there’s like… a shitton of laws in science, not just my boy Newt.”

“Oh,” Kihyun drags the word, crosses his arms over the table and grins at Changkyun, “I knew you two went to school together!”

Changkyun scoffs, wheels himself back to the table and takes a quick sip of now creamy coke. “Oh, yeah, used to make out under the bleachers and everything. Asked me to prom, I threw him with an apple.”

“Do you think,” Kihyun says, eyes locked with Changkyun’s, “The Serizawa Scale will hold?” He shrugs. “Categories 1 through 2 was what we got first. But the last one was a Cat 5. I’m thinking… We’ve got Mark-6 Jaegers now… Won’t they have Cat 6 and beyond, too?”

Changkyun bites at his lip for a moment. “I think they might start off much larger, yeah. I doubt the first Kaiju will be lower than a Category 4.”

There a shift in Kihyun’s face just before he glances away. And it’s just like Kihyun had said. Sometimes Changkyun just knows what it is without having to ask; fear.

And it’s strange. Because he didn’t take Yoo Kihyun for much more than a soldier with a hero complex, trying to throw himself at the first sea monster that popped out of the ocean. But it was clear in the Drift and it is clear now, Kihyun is just as afraid as Changkyun is. Kihyun just hides it better.

Not anymore, though. Because Changkyun really might be the only person who knows this.

“Hey,” Changkyun says, then, with soft eyes and a small smile. “Have you heard of this other friend I have? Charles Darwin. I called him Charlie.”

Kihyun frowns a little and looks up. “Monkey theory guy?”

“Monkey theory guy,” Changkyun nods. “Adapt to survive. Technically, it was Herbert Spencer that said it, but… Survival of the fittest. Whatever they throw at us, Category Whatever The Fuck, I’m smarter, and you’re stronger.”

“Obviously,” Kihyun scoffs like he wasn’t worried. “We’re a whole ass ninety eight.”

“I think if we tested again we might even be a ninety nine,” Changkyun says, pokes Kihyun’s forehead.

Kihyun fits his head into the crook of his arms and sighs. “I still want that one hundred…”

“We’ll get there,” Changkyun says, stops writing to just… look at Kihyun for a minute. “Tomorrow… Tomorrow we might die. Thanks for… Well. I’m not alone right now. So thank you.”

Kihyun blinks heavily at nothing, nuzzles into his arms. His nose a little darker thanks to that punch he got straight in the face. “I told you not to worry…” He sighs and closes his eyes. “I won’t let you die.”

“Yes, well, I’m being sentimental. So deal with it.”

“Dealing,” Kihyun mumbles and his breathing steadies, like he’s falling asleep.

Changkyun just smiles, stays quiet through his last few equations before his eyes are more closed than they are open. He blinks and smacks lightly at his cheek, puts his things away as quietly as he can. He reaches over to shake Kihyun’s shoulder softly, but doesn’t. Because that would, of course, be the sensible thing to do. Instead, he gently cards his fingers through Kihyun’s hair, and it’s so much softer than he thought it would be. But that’s Yoo Kihyun for you.

Changkyun smiles a little to himself, leans forward a slightly and scratches at the back of Kihyun’s head. “Wakey wakey, sunshine...”

The softness between Kihyun’s eyebrows is gone and replaced by that stupid little frown he wears as a badge of pride. “M’wake…” He mumbles without moving an inch.

Changkyun chuckles under his breath, stops scratching and just moves his fingers through Kihyun’s hair the way Changkyun can remember Kihyun did with him. “Could have fooled me…”

“M’playing dead.”

“You’re frowning a lot for a corpse.”

“It’s tactical,” Kihyun says but then snorts a laugh, stretches a little and lets his forehead hit the table. “If you keep touching my head… I’m going to fall asleep again.”

Changkyun stills his hand a little, suddenly incredibly self-conscious. “Yes, well, it soothes me,” he tries to tease before he lets go and gets up. “Our room is like, three doors away. Come on…”

Kihyun groans as he pushes himself up and blinks around. “Did you finish?”

“Pretty sure that’s the straightest thing you’ve ever said. But yes, I finished, thank you.”

“Ugh,” Kihyun scrunches his nose and sways a little before he starts making his way to the door. “Don’t remind me. I’m going to be tapped into that tomorrow.”

“Christ, don’t remind me either,” Changkyun laughs a little. _That’s… embarrassing, to say the least_ . “Don’t go _looking_ for it, though.”

“Why the fuck would I?” Kihyun says as he shakes his head. “It’s not even… Ugh…”

“Not even…?”

“Not even my thing,” Kihyun sighs as he exits the lab and turns to wait for Changkyun. “Hurry up, cupcake, I’m dead.”

Changkyun rolls his eyes and they spend the short walk back to their room together in silence. Changkyun makes for the bathroom but doesn’t close the door as he brushes his teeth and cleans his face.

He laughs when Kihyun headbutts him on the shoulder to step in front of the sink and brush his teeth, too. Mostly with his eyes closed. Changkyun just rolls his eyes at his brain that keeps thinking ‘cute’ despite knowing Kihyun will hear it in the Drift. He turns back to the bedroom, kicks off his shoes and crawls into bed.

When Kihyun wanders past to attempt the stairs, though, Changkyun reaches for Kihyun’s wrist and tugs lightly with a silent little _please_.

“I’m not a teddy bear,” Kihyun mumbles even as he gets in next to Changkyun and it immediately makes Changkyun’s chest feel lighter. “Though… Now I guess I know what I’m getting _you_ for Christmas.”

“Teddy bears aren’t this soft,” Changkyun whines.

“Did you just call me soft?” Kihyun frowns, kicks lightly at Changkyun.

“Shhh,” Changkyun says with a small laugh, pulls Kihyun a little closer and threads his fingers into his hair. “The angry lines are back…”

“You,” Kihyun frowns some more but then starts melting onto the mattress, “Can’t do that… It’s my weakness…” He whines, flops around, tummy down as he leans his head closer for Changkyun to pet.

“Aw,” Changkyun says, smiling wide, heart a little tight at the rare sight in front of him. “This might be my weakness, too,” Changkyun says lowly, carding his fingers through Kihyun’s hair.

“Shhh,” Kihyun nuzzles. “Don’t talk.”

“Kay,” Changkyun whispers, closes his eyes, fingers slow and lazy. “G’night.”

  
  
  
  
  


It doesn’t _feel_ like waking up to doomsday, but when the two of them make their way out of the room at the first light of dawn, there are people everywhere. Soldiers and Engineers, ready at a moment’s notice. Changkyun’s not sure _he’s_ ready at a moment’s notice. He spends the morning with Minhyuk, talking about all the previous Kaiju that have attacked so far; their strengths, weaknesses. Maybe it will help, who knows, but sitting somewhere and letting anxiety build _definitely_ won’t.

“But hear me out!” Minhyuk says as he braces around. “Sharks have an acute sense of smell and a sensitive olfactory system, right? They can detect blood at one part per million! It hardly qualifies as the entire ocean, but it’s pretty much _a lot._ ” Minhyuk goes around the table with the big Kaiju liver on top and gets closer to Changkyun, points at his own nose. “Kaiju are like developed beings, ‘super beings’ I like to call them.” _Of course you do._ “They are attracted to centers of population, big cities and so on right?”

“So you’re saying they can smell blood?” Changkyun asks, eyebrow raised.

“No!” Minhyuk says and then smiles wide. “But yes!” He gesticulates dangerously (Changkyun has to duck, occasionally) as he talks. “I tested a few things. Air pollution? Nah. Blood? Nah. Cake? Nah. Sound? Nah.” He sighs. “Urban runoff.” He says suddenly.

“Cake, though?” Changkyun laughs.

Minhyuk shrugs, “A hazard. Anyway--” He points at the liver. “Urban runoff.”

“They smell poop, is what you’re saying?”

“The ocean is our biggest toilet, my friend. Watch out where you bathe. It’s full of feces and sweat, dead skin and other human and animal residues.”

“Never join a tropical island marketing team, Minhyuk…”

Minhyuk waves his hand in front of his face dismissively. “Water pollution. That’s what they follow. The currents of warm, smelly, urban pollution. It’s why they attack ships from time to time. Have you seen a ship’s waste? So, my idea is… And yes, I know this is just all from a theoretical point of view, but we could… Build runoff courses away from the cities. A whole few miles away. Like bait! That way the Kaiju can be intercepted way before they realize what is going on. No casualties, besides possible Ranger deaths, and no city destruction!”

“Huh,” Changkyun perks up. “That’s not a bad idea, Minhyuk. Seriously. Good enough to test it out, I’d say.”

Minhyuk thumbs up at Changkyun. “See? The Biology department is useful sometimes!”

Changkyun gasps. “Who said you weren’t useful?!”

“Eh,” Minhyuk shrugs sheepishly, “The Marshal said I talk too much and that I should make myself useful instead of yapping. But I guess he’s just having a bad week.”

“What I’ve learned is that people don’t like listening to things they don’t understand, feeling stupid and all that. Maybe the Marshal is actually just a really sensitive bean.”

“Hm,” Minhyuk squints, leans closer to whisper, “Is that how you got to befriend Yoo Kihyun?”

Changkyun barks a short laugh. “Did you just call Yoo Kihyun a sensitive bean? God, don’t let him hear that.”

“Don’t tell him,” Minhyuk begs, still whispering. He leans back and sighs. “How’s that Drift business going, by the way? I’ve heard it’s better than sex. But on Twitter, everything is better than sex.”

Changkyun rolls his eyes. “Maybe sex while drifting would be…” _And where do you think you’re going with that, train of thought, mm?_ “Anyway, no, it’s just…” Changkyun shrugs. “It’s weird. Probably what a highly imaginative acid trip feels like.”

“Eh, yeah,” Minhyuk nods. “I do admire y’all. And the bonds you find in the Drift are pretty unbreakable, that much I know.” He looks at Changkyun, blinks. “You’re… On for the first assignment?”

Changkyun nods, smiling soft despite what that means. “I’ve got seven years of stringent Yoo Kihyun training up in here now--” Changkyun says, pointing at his head. “We’ll be fine.”

_We better be._

There is a scheech-like sound over the intercom and then a static before Shownu’s voice sounds, apparently, station wide;

_“Rangers, report to the Bridge, immediately.”_

Changkyun’s heart plummets to his stomach. He nods a little at Minhyuk. “See you later, yeah?”

“Dinner’s on me,” Minhyuk says with a little, nervous smile.

Changkyun huffs a small laugh, gives a wave and makes his way to the Bridge. The tense atmosphere he finds once he walks in is near palpable. Changkyun spots Kihyun and immediately makes his way over to stand on his left side.

There are a few people running around and Jooheon frantically finishes going over some data on the screen. He turns to the Marshal, who quickly turns around and walks out. Jooheon then looks at the General, at the group of Rangers and then at Changkyun.

“We’ve got movement,” Jooheon announces, turns to the screen, “Strange fluctuations at 7,822 meters. 51.21ºN, 174.83ºE.”

Kihyun frowns. “That’s the Aleutian Trench.”

“You speak langditutes?” Changkyun asks. “Yeah, course you do.”

“The water level is rising, Sir,” Jooheon tells the General.

“Thirty meters above sea level,” a girl says nearby. “Make that thirty three.”

Shownu sighs. “Make a prediction for a possible tsunami. Alert the Pacific coastline.”

“We should go there immediately, right?” Changkyun asks. “See if we can intercept it before it gets inland?”

“No,” Kihyun mumbles lowly. “They won’t let us go until they have established a possible route…”

“Well, that’s bullshit,” Changkyun says in the same tone.

“Maybe…” Kihyun says, sighs a little and frowns.

It’s a long time standing up. Changkyun feels antsy and even though Kihyun looks stony next to him, there’s a little tell; he keeps rubbing his thumb over his forefinger. Hyungwon just keeps sighing and Hoseok has the face of someone who’s seen a ghost. Everyone else, apart from Seola who keeps clinging to Dami, is silent, blank expressions on their faces.

Suddenly, the radar beeps and everyone’s breath seems to catch. Shownu walks closer to the screen as Jooheon reluctantly slides his chair closer.

“Kaiju signature detected…” he mumbles, face blank.

Changkyun takes in a sharp breath, throat tight and chest heavy with fear, glances at Kihyun.

“What category?” One of the senior Rangers asks.

Jooheon visibly swallows, brings the displays closer and taps. “Category 4…”

 _I really fucking hate being right, sometimes_. Changkyun walks closer, to another screen, the Breach readings, the exotic mass. “At least that’s all we’re getting,” Changkyun says, motions to the screen with his head. “Rift already closed and the mass is moving away.”

“I need predictions on those magnetic fields,” Shownu says, glances at Jooheon. “Where is it going?”

“Already triangulating the position, sir,” Jooheon says, typing at the keyboard. He shakes his hands loose for a second as he says. “Kodiak, Alaska.”

“Small city,” Kihyun says, looks at Changkyun, “It will move on to a bigger one fast. And Kodiak doesn’t stand a chance.”

“Sent word for evacuation,” another comms person says. “Warning nearby cities now.”

Changkyun feels antsy; something between not wanting to get into that Jaeger and feeling like he already should have. He looks at Kihyun, pulls a little at his sleeve and hopes he understands.

“Hyunwoo,” Kihyun says under his breath. It’s the first time Changkyun’s heard Kihyun call the General by something other than ‘General’.

Shownu looks at him and nods, looks at the Rangers. “I’m sending Rogue, Striker and Paladin. The rest of you are on standby.”

Dami and Hyungwon look at each other and as Hyungwon and Hoseok move to leave, Dami moves Seola to sit down on one of the chairs, arm around her shoulder.

“Prepare the choppers!” Shownu orders.

Kihyun immediately takes Changkyun’s hand and tugs for him to follow. Changkyun stares at their hands and follows and the next thing he knows he’s being outfitted.

Hwasa is here, moving to and fro to double check every system, calling out confirmations and smiling assuredly at Changkyun as she passes.

The moment the earpiece connects, Changkyun can hear Shownu on the line.

_“According to our calculations you’ll be intercepting the Kaiju after it passes Kodiak.”_

“What?” Kihyun almost yells, yanks his arm away from one of the engineer’s grasp. “Can’t the thrusters get us there faster than the choppers?”

_“I’m afraid not, but we already have the Air Force on the line.”_

Kihyun clicks his tongue. “That’s like flies trying to bother a cow,” he mutters.

“A Cat 4 cow,” Changkyun jokes. Hwasa rolls her eyes as she fits the suit onto him, glances at Kihyun and then smiles at Changkyun before she continues.

Two months ago, if someone had told Changkyun he’d be stepping into a Jaeger and sent to fight a giant monster people thought extinct from the universe, he’d have laughed in their face. But as the front gate opens and Rogue Fox gets pulled outside to be lifted by the carrier-choppers, there’s just darkness in the horizon, fear in his heart and a storm that has yet to pass.

 _“Initiating Neural Handshake, Rogue Fox,”_ Jooheon says over the intercom.

And this time, it’s easy to let the memories flow one after the other. This time, it brings warmth to Changkyun’s chest. _Affection. Warmth._ Apparently, it’s mutual.

Changkyun has never wanted revenge. It’s something he understands, but doesn’t feel. Killing one Kaiju won’t bring his parents back, but he’d always lacked something to fight for.

Maybe it’s as simple a thing as warmth.

_Ready to punch a Kaiju in the face?_

Kihyun’s nose scrunches as he glares forward. “You bet.”

 

Visibility is practically nonexistent with the mist coming from the ocean, mixing with the grey of the sky. The visor is up, heat signatures more detailed than their eyes could ever be. Changkyun breathes deep and steady, and something about Kihyun’s steeled mind, years of military training, helps. He pushes his fear to the back of his mind, focuses on the screens. Everything’s stable.

“No sign of the Kaiju yet,” Changkyun mumbles.

 _“It should be like… right in front of you!”_ Jooheon says.

“Unless this Drift thing gave me Changkyun’s bad eyesight, I doubt it…” Kihyun says.

 _“I’ve got nothing either,”_ Hoseok says.

“Wait,” Changkyun says, heart in his throat as he brings a screen up in front of him, stares at it. “These are heat sensors. What if it’s cold blooded?”

Kihyun takes a deep breath and Changkyun can feel the spark of sudden anxiety. “You mean we’re blind…”

“Just--Just gimme a second, I have an idea-- We’ll have to go com quiet for a moment, sorry--” and unplugs the intercom, opens another screen and starts adjusting settings.

“If it’s here…” Kihyun says, looking around, “Why isn’t it attacking..?” He frowns and Changkyun feels his own heartbeat spike when Kihyun says, “What… the hell was that..?” The new memory, something wiggly Kihyun spotted by the corner of his eye, rushes forward. But it’s gone. It was gone the moment Kihyun looked over.

“There!” Changkyun plugs the intercom back in, switches it on. “Echolocation. Sight through sound. It’s--” Changkyun’s eyes widen on the screen, sees a massive signature right next to--

It moves more like a cat than snake, but it’s mouth opens like one. It lurches forward with a growl that makes the metal inside the Conn-Pod shake and Changkyun only feels his own brain register a thought that isn’t his own as Kihyun side steps and raises his arm defensively to block the monster.

Rogue Fox stumbles, reef water washing at her knees. The Kaiju bites once, growls and bites again, sinks teeth into metal, and it registers as a dull pain in Changkyun’s, in Kihyun’s, right arm. It’s terrifying. And it’s not just Changkyun’s fear, it gets mixed in with Kihyun’s. That should make it worse; but honestly? It helps. It helps to know he’s not the only one.

“Throw it, throw it!” Kihyun says and Changkyun feels his body move as Rogue Fox steps back and uses the momentum to throw the beast away.

It flies, falls onto the water with a ear-piercing shriek and shakes as it stands up, lightning clearing the darkness away. And it’s…

Big. Many, many eyes. Scythes. A tail.

“Big boi,” Changkyun says, eyes wide.

“Shit,” Kihyun rolls his shoulder a little and then turns. They both see Striker One move, fast, running towards the Kaiju as one of the Rangers shouts;

_“Engaging!”_

_“We’re in!”_ Hoseok says and Paladin Jinx closes in. Changkyun had always thought Paladin Jinx one of the biggest Jaegers they had, but this Kaiju is… really, really big. It makes the fear travel through his veins. And he knows Kihyun feels it, too. Except it never reaches Kihyun’s facial muscles or skin. And his eyes remain steady and focused.

Striker grabs at the thing’s jaw, tries to pry it open to split its skull, but the Kaiju’s tail whips around and strikes the Jaeger in one of her arms. There’s a yell over the intercom as they let go and the Big Boi wraps its tail around the arm and whips Striker around, sends her flying into the water.

Striker falls right into Paladin’s path and they crash. The sound of metal clashing against metal ressounds with the thunder. Lightning shines over the Kaiju as it straightens up. A lizard like creature, with a giant tail.

_It looks like a Scorpion..._

“Stop naming it!” Kihyun groans and a bunch of names pop into Changkyun’s head as Kihyun scrolls down the Weapons and Warfare list, heart hammering in his chest despite there being no hint of hesitation. “Run an analysis.”

“No time,” Changkyun says, watching as the creature turns its head to them, ducks in under the water, tail whipping out. “It’s coming our way!”

Kihyun’s eyes widen. It’s too fast and all he can do, all they can do it try to dodge. Except Rogue is big and slow, not as agile as she should be, and the Kaiju throws its scythes at her arm and tries to cut through metal.

The neural pathways make Changkyun’s arm hurt a little, but just as Kihyun tries to pry the thing away from them, the Kaiju’s tail hits them from behind.

Fear is an interesting thing. It’s in the past and in the future. Never in the present. It comes from deducing what will happen and from remembering what has already happened. But when death swings, _fear_ is far, far away. All Changkyun’s brain can process is action-reaction, adrenaline pumping his thoughts faster.

And every time that stray thought, that heavy fear of _I don’t want to die_ pushes itself forward, Kihyun is there, with a _I won’t let you die_ so reassuring it draws a curtain over the eyes of death that wants to stare him down.

The Kaiju pushes Rogue Fox further into the ocean, the metal feet scratching at the soft sand but barely digging through. Water washes closer to the jaeger’s waist, but Kihyun manages to side step enough to use the Kaiju’s own strength to turn them around and throw the damn snake flying a few kilometers away from them.

The Kaiju is barely affected, though, and it lurches forward.

_Kihyun, the tail first!_

“I know!” Kihyun says, holograms circling around his wrists and hands, the same ones Changkyun suddenly sees on his forearms.

It’s like a bare-handed blade block when Rogue Fox runs towards the Kaiju and slaps both hands together to catch the tail between palms. Rogue Fox steps back and Kihyun unlocks the upper body coupling. It makes the upper body spin fast as they turn, Rogue Fox’s legs locking onto the ocean floor.

They send the Kaiju flying 1 mile across the sea. It doesn't crash, though, it just wiggles around like a cat, lands on its four legs.

“It’s got a combined center of gravity,” Kihyun mumbles and then frowns. “Stop talking with my mouth, idiot!”

“Running analysis,” Changkyun says, a slight amusement somewhere in his chest. “Skin appears to be similar to a Leatherback.”

 _“There’s no cutting through that!”_ Hoseok says, voice strained. The Paladin gets up but Striker is still down.

“Not as it is,” Changkyun says. “Vent the coolant; should make the skin brittle, with combined effort we could snap the tail off.”

 _“We’ll bait,”_ the senior pilots say at the same time. _“If you can hold onto that tail, the Paladin can take it down.”_

“The Paladin is stronger,” Changkyun says. “It holds the Big Boi, we cut through the tail with Kihyun’s sword.”

“That’s an interesting choice of words…” Kihyun mutters. _Do we even have a sword? (Yes, we do!) Get out of my brain, Changkyun! (I literally can’t!) I don’t like swords!_

 _“Big Boi?”_ Hoseok asks.

“Yeah,” Kihyun grumbles as he shakes his head, as if that would help with keeping Changkyun away. “Codename; Big Boi Scorpio. Courtesy of Im Changkyun. Tune in later for more.”

“Well, it’s apt, isn’t it?!” Changkyun says. The screen blinks at them, the energy signature moving towards Striker One. _They don’t have the echolocation sensors, they don’t know._

“Hyungwon!” Kihyun shouts at the intercom, “On your four!”

 _“I hate that phrase!”_ Hyungwon shouts back as Paladin steps forward just in time to grab the Kaiju’s head as it jumps out of the water. Paladin’s thick, palladium covered forearm unlocks and mercilessly punches against the Kaiju’s head like a pneumatic hammer.

Kihyun glances at Changkyun. _Great plan but there’s no time. We have to do it._

Changkyun just nods. “Rogue Fox, engaging!”

Paladin Jinx shoots flares from it’s head-- _It looks like it’s co--(Dick jokes, Kihyun? Now? Really?)_ \--to keep the Kaiju distracted as Rogue Fox moves towards its back.

The lightning storm makes the Kaiju’s golden scales shimmer with hot anger along with its neon blue eyes as it tries set itself free, scythes digging into metal as it pierces through the Paladin’s Stun Core.

Sparks flare everywhere and the now exposed Core flashes brighter.

 _“Guys! I’d like to live!”_ Hoseok calls.

Striker brings out a blade, Changkyun watches it slide from under the arm plating. And then watches blue pour into the ocean when, even though damaged, Striker manages to cut through the soft underbelly when the Paladin lifts the Kaiju up.

Rogue Fox uses the running momentum to crouch and slide closer, grab onto Scorpio’s-- _Big Boi!_ \--tail.

“I’ll hold it! Vent the coolant!” Kihyun tells Changkyun, who's already disengaged movement lock and is inputting the instructions and presses the button right as Kihyun finishes the order.

 _“Coolant, venting,”_ the A.I. says. And the display shows ‘CO2 COOLING SYSTEM: OPEN’.

Changkyun knows where the coolant will vent out, and Kihyun tugs the tail closer, holds it steady as the Kaiju growls, ice forming on its skin until it stops moving.

“Now!” Changkyun yells, engaging movement lock again, holograms circling around his wrist.

“Elbows rocket!” Kihyun says and Changkyun feels his own elbow being pulled back as the A.I. display read, ‘ELBOW THRUSTER ENGAGED’ and the hologram around Changkyun’s arm displays the 3D print of the Rogue Fox’s arm.

There’s a flick of wrist and both of them shout as Rogue Fox rockets her arm forward and hits the ice, shattering the Kaiju’s tail.

The monster screeches and growls, a bass sound that makes the metal shake and reaches inside Changkyun’s ears. It’s one of those sounds that makes him want to take his feet off the ground. But there’s barely any time to do anything as the Kaiju submerges, a trail of neon blood in its wake as it speeds up away from them.

_So much Blue Blood… Poison. Small traces of exotic mass._

“It’s fine,” Kihyun huffs. He sounds tired. Rogue Fox turns towards the trail of blood. “Triangulate.”

 _“Triangulating,”_ the A.I. says.

“Wanna know what I’m good at?” Kihyun asks, glances at Changkyun.

Changkyun grins. “Bullseye.”

“Huh,” Kihyun huffs a laugh. “Quite.”

_“Target triangulated. Margin of error, two point five.”_

“That’s fine,” Kihyun mumbles.

Changkyun feels his arm move up, hologram changing as Rogue Fox’s metal plating mechanically moves back to reveal a cannon sized pipe.

 _“Emerging in a hundred meters,”_ The A.I. says. _“Fifty meters. Thirty. Fifteen.”_

There’s a trigger-like movement that Changkyun’s brain barely registers but that his body executes. The plasma cannon doesn’t charge, it just shoots like an impact gun, the energy of the blast makes the whole Jaeger shake. It lights up the way along the water’s surface.

There’s contact in the distance, a flash of light.

 _“Discharge reading,”_ The A.I. starts, _“Confirmed. Readings; Null.”_

“Shit,” Changkyun says under his breath. “That was…” _Really good. Kinda sexy._

“You know I’m in your brain, right?” Kihyun says, lets his hand fall at the same time as Changkyun does.

Changkyun laughs, a giddy feeling. “Who cares, we just killed a really, very Big Boi!”

 _“Great! We’re all alive. And the Paladin needs a hand!”_ Hoseok says. _“It blew up our core!”_

“I’ll build you a better one!” Changkyun says, grinning ear to ear, sure Kihyun can feel it.

 _We did it, Ki_.

  


When they get back, it’s like they’ve already saved the world. They step out of the Jaeger, and there are cheers, bright faces, applause. Changkyun’s body is still rife with adrenalin, and he’s still in mild disbelief over what they had just done. Hwasa tackles him with a hug and Changkyun laughs, squeezes back before she’s running off to hug, apparently, the whole engineering team.

Changkyun turns to smile bright at Kihyun and barely has time to react when he feels a hand at the back of his head and lips on his forehead.

A kiss.

Kihyun leans back just to look Changkyun in the eye, smile and say, “You were brilliant.” And with a ruffle of Changkyun’s hair Kihyun steps back and then turns away as the fitting team crowds them.

Changkyun blinks at the back of Kihyun’s head, feels his heart twist a little in his chest.

_‘You were brilliant.’_

Changkyun smiles a little to himself and the warmth in his chest in a barely controlled way, and when they take the chest piece off, he reaches up for the dog tags around his neck, holds them in his hand for a moment.

“You too, sunshine,” Changkyun says, smiles as Kihyun glances over his shoulder at him. And just like that one time, so many days ago, Kihyun sticks his tongue out before looking away.

Changkyun huffs a small laugh, lets go to have Hwasa and another girl (he can never remember her name) take his suit off piece by piece. Hwasa, though, glances from Kihyun to Changkyun and smiles a little. It’s… knowing, somewhat. Knowing what, though?

“So,” she says conversationally, “It’s him, huh?”

Changkyun blinks at her, frowns. “What do you mean?”

“The heart wants what it wants,” Hwasa says, shrugs as she unplugs something.

Changkyun’s heart, though, plummets again, like the damn intercom had just announced another Kaiju attack imminent. He looks again, at the back of Kihyun’s head, his profile (black hair, sharp nose, pouty lips), can see him smiling at the Engineers as they unplug parts of his suit.

“I don’t…” he tries, but his words either don’t come or they’re just stuck somewhere. Hell, he’s barely sure they exist.

Hwasa glances up. “Your face says otherwise… Although, I guess I understand,” she turns to look at Kihyun. “You see things he doesn’t show anyone else but you.” _Maybe,_ Changkyun thinks, and it weighs heavy. _Not just in the Drift either_. “And I’m sure that underneath all that bravado there’s a really, really soft heart.”

“There is,” Changkyun agrees easily. _Shit_.

Hwasa smiles at him and still, it makes him feel guilty. “That’s okay! The stronger the bond, the stronger the Drift.”

“I think that only applies when it’s both ways,” Changkyun says, shakes his head and thanks the small team around him before going to change back into his casual clothing.

Hoseok and Hyungwon chat in the locker room, the former shirtless ( _Jesus, how much does Hoseok lift?_ ) and Changkyun smiles, waves at them. He feels lighter, somehow. He’d just faced a small part of one of his worst fears, and won.

And then there’s the matter of _warmth_. The warmth inside his chest.

“So,” Hyungwon says, and there’s a trace of a smile on his face. “You didn’t completely suck out there.”

Hoseok elbows Hyungwon and almost sends him flying across the locker room. “Why are you like this?” Hoseok laughs, turns to look at Changkyun, who’s buttoning up his shirt. “You two did great!”

“You did,” Shownu says as he enters. “But the clock has been reset. And now, it’s counting.” He looks around, looks at Kihyun when he walks in mid tucking his tank top inside his cargo pants. “All of you have a good dinner. And then it’s back to work.” Shownu looks at Changkyun. “The American science team has arrived. They’ll meet with you later tonight.”

“Of course they’re American,” Changkyun says, pulls his lips into a line. It could be a smile, _if you squint._ “Joy.”

Kihyun smiles a little, keeps looking between Changkyun and Shownu and then stumbles forward when one of the senior Rangers slaps his back.

“Good shot, son!”

Kihyun blinks, eyes a little wide and then nods, “Thank you, sir.”

“You, too, kiddo!” The man tells Changkyun and winks a him. “You’re smart. Ya made that Kaiju feel dumb.”

_Kaiju have an IQ of 35._

“Thank you,” Changkyun says, though, glances at Kihyun with a barely contained smile. A month ago he would have voiced that thought.

Kihyun steps closer, keeps trying to reach behind his back and then turns it to Changkyun. _That’s some dangerous arm flex._ “Did he paste something on me? I swear it happens a lot, I’m not crazy.”

Changkyun laughs, looks at Kihyun’s back, lies; “Yep, it says it right there, ‘ _Captain Crazy’_.”

Kihyun looks over his shoulder, frowns, and then proceeds to attack with hands and arms, trying to reach for Changkyun’s nose as Changkyun keeps shoving at him and laughing.

“You piss me off so much!” Kihyun grumbles.

“So you’re taking it out on my nose?” Changkyun laughs.

Kihyun manages to pinch both of Changkyun’s cheeks and pulls at them. “Whatever I can get my hands on.”

Hyungwon says, then, loudly, “Er, gross.”

Kihyun pauses, looks Changkyun in the eye and smiles a little. “You thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Usually,” Changkyun replies with a grin, throws his arms out and falls like a tumbling pillar onto Kihyun, who lifts Changkyun up a little, hikes him up until all Changkyun can do is lock both legs behind Kihyun’s waist and giggle gleefully over Kihyun’s shoulder. _Warmth, so much goddamn warmth_ . _And far too much skin._

Kihyun huffs a laugh and turns around to look at Hyungwon while holding Changkyun. “Look at us, being cute. How grossed out are you?”

When Changkyun looks over, Hyungwon’s entire face is contorted in disgust. It makes Changkyun laugh even more, clinging to Kihyun. And Kihyun purposely squishes their cheeks together.

Changkyun’s heart twists a little again in his chest, his stomach feeling a little hollow. But still, he turns his face to give Kihyun a purposeful, loud, “Chuu!” on the cheek, despite how pink his own must be.

Hyungwon groans, loud, as Hoseok laughs.

“I’m out!” Hyungwon announces, throwing his hands in the air and walking out.

Kihyun laughs and then pats one hand on Changkyun’s thigh, “Alright, alright, off you go.” He says as he plops Changkyun back down.

“Ah, that was fun!” Changkyun beams, pulling his shirt down a little. “I’ve never been picked up before!”

Hoseok snorts a laugh behind his hand, before holding it up in a quick, “Sorry.”

Kihyun raises an eyebrow as he walks to his locker, “Well… Okay. I can live with that.”

Changkyun is still grinning, he can feel it, when he pulls his jacket on and closes his locker. “I’m gonna go get stuff ready for the Americans. Really basic instructions, y’know.”

“The Americans,” Kihyun says in American English as he looks at Hoseok and Hoseok just laughs and repeats the same thing but with way more lisp than Kihyun.

Changkyun laughs, waves as he leaves. “See ya!”

  
  
  
  
  


Kihyun knows, from years of experience both as a normal citizen in the midst of a war that always seemed beyond him and as a soldier, that there is very little to celebrate when there’s a clock on the wall counting the minutes until the next attack.

Sure, he feels ecstatic. Seven years and he finally managed to kill one of them. But three things keep his heart from skyrocketing; knowledge, fear of what will come next, guilt.

Kihyun always thought that, somehow, getting revenge would make him feel better, would take away the guilt that installed itself in his heart all those years ago. But he killed a Kaiju, he and Changkyun killed a Kaiju while piloting a Jaeger and yet…

And yet, moving on is a lot more complicated than it sounds.

Everything looks great on paper, you do this and you think that once you reach the goal you can hop onto the next and then next. But it’s just getting things done. Like thinking a haircut will actually solve problems. It’s all an illusion for an immediate chemical release in the brain that trick people into thinking it’s okay, it’s over. But once the ecstasy wears off…

The guilt is back. More like, it never really left. It just seems to fade away whenever something or someone brings warmth into his chest.

Speaking of which, the soup is warm and it fills the hollow, sinking feeling in his stomach.

Kihyun and Hoseok were the first from the group to arrive at the cafeteria. And now they’re just sitting, eating in silence. Or at least that’s what Kihyun hoped for, quietude.

“I swear,” Hoseok breaks the silence. “Hyungwon’s going to be missing for _days_.”

“Hm?” Kihyun blinks and glances up as he fits a spoonful of soup into his mouth. Thank god for Korean chicken soup. “What?”

“After you and Changkyun’s whole thing,” Hoseok laughs. “He ran off and I feel like I’m not going to see him unless I drag him out from under his bed or something.

“Oh,” Kihyun snorts, looks down at his soup. “I don’t even know what his problem is. But it’s fun to mess with him.”

“Ah, but you two are cute,” Hoseok pouts, “I’m glad you found a good Drift partner, Ki. Seriously.”

“Me, too,” Kihyun admits. “No offense to Nate but… Thinking of Drifting with him made me feel uneasy.” He shrugs. “Changkyun’s felt safe, kinda, since day one. Even though he was an asshole.”

Hoseok frowns, tilts his head with a mouth full of soup before swallowing. “He was? Hmm.” Hoseok shrugs. “Safe is nice, though. It’s the best feeling to have when Drifting. It’s hard to trust someone if you don’t feel safe with them, that goes without saying.”

“Yeah,” Kihyun nods, narrows his eyes at a bit of chicken swimming around in his bowl. He smiles a little and then brings some more soup into his mouth, swallows. “I felt it today… That… trust. It’s like you can turn your back on something and you know it will be fine, ‘cause they got you. Honestly? Even when I worked for the CSIS? Never felt anything like that. So, I think I get you when you say this whole war would suck without the Drift.”

“I can only imagine what ninety eight percent feels like, though,” Hoseok says after swallowing yet another mouthful of soup, poking at the broth with his spoon. “Are you two close? I know you weren’t when you tested but with compatibility like that, would be hard not to.”

Kihyun frowns. “Close as in friends? Yeah… Yeah, I think we’re getting there.” He shrugs, moves the spoon inside the soup. “I thought I’d hate his guts. And, in a way, I kinda do. But it’s not like before, it’s just… picky stuff,” Kihyun laughs. “The kind of shit you roll your eyes at but you kinda enjoy.”

“What, like him calling a massive Kaiju ‘big boi’,” Hoseok laughs.

Kihyun snorts, shakes his head and then nods. “Yeah, something like that.” He shrugs. “He’s a nice person, though. Despite being weird. I guess that’s what makes him special?”

Hoseok quirks an eyebrow, slurps on his soup.

“What?” Kihyun frowns.

“Nothing!” Hoseok says, dripples a little but pats at his mouth with a napkin and swallows before speaking. “It’s just nice that you ended up liking him, you know? First time I met the kid, he was so eager to have a friend. Made me feel kinda bad for him, but he’s fun to have around.”

Kihyun blinks, looks down. He knows that, somehow. Not that it has anything to do with his own little affection for Changkyun. That’s just out there because he’s a weird kid. It has nothing to do with pity, because Kihyun doesn’t do pity, everyone has it bad.

But…

“You know… I…” Kihyun blinks. He doesn’t really like to talk about himself like this. Besides, it’s no one’s business. “I was feeling lost. Things just kept happening and I found myself stuck in a place, trying to do better at something that was beyond me. I thought, still think that I’m the problem. That the reason why I’m not Drift compatible with anyone has to do with me, specifically.” He frowns. “He changed that. Made me feel useful. Helped me reach my goals. And… Kinda saved me from the pit I was in. So… when the General said I had to keep him alive, I just thought… Of course I do. I can’t lose the one thing that is keeping me adrift.”

Hoseok frowns as he listens, pushing the bowl to the side. “That’s… damn. And hey, don’t take this the wrong way, but you don’t just… like him because he’s your ticket into a Jaeger, right..?”

Kihyun snorts, shakes his head. “I like him ‘cause he pushes my buttons. Sometimes, the wrong ones, but still.”

“Well, then, I shall repeat myself and say; I’m glad. I’ve never seen you--” Hoseok laughs. “Lift someone up and let them kiss your cheek. I felt like I fell into some alternate universe. Still _you_ but. You know.”

“Well,” Kihyun smiles a little, tilts his head, “No one’s ever been this long inside my head. So… Trust, remember? Besides, that just adds to the point. He’s bubbly. And that’s something rare in a place like this. I think it’s something worth protecting.”

“I agree with you there,” Hoseok smiles, gets up slowly. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a Drift partner to find..”

“Bye bye,” Kihyun chuckles as he waves Hoseok away.

Hoseok smiles wide and Kihyun barely has time to follow the ‘where’ with his eyes before--

“Hello!” Changkyun says, smiling wide, plopping down in front of him with… four apples? And a bowl of chicken soup. Alright. “I’m done! I put sticky notes _everywhere_. Seriously, the particle accelerator looks like a Christmas tree.”

Kihyun snorts, feels warmth in his chest and then a pang of guilt. He bites at his lower lip and glances up. “How long until Striker and Paladin are ready to go again?”

“Well,” Changkyun says, cheek puffing a little with the food. “I need to fix the Stun Core, and I had an idea for a few upgrades on the pistons. Rogue actually took a bit of damage and--Oh! Right! I had an idea!”

“Oh?” Kihyun blinks. Changkyun and Ideas are like fairy lights in Kihyun’s brain whenever they Drift. It’s a bit scary, to be honest. Because Changkyun has _many_ ideas about _many_ different things. How does he even function without a brain freeze?

Changkyun nods enthusiastically. “Yeah. It’s so different actually being _in_ a Jaeger, you see all these little things you can improve on. I’m already going to add, like, a bunch of different sensors and warning systems for Kaiju life signatures, since they’ve clearly adapted to what we had.”

 _He’s excited about the strangest things._ Kihyun smiles and looks down at his soup, flits the spoon up. “So? What’s this big idea about?”

“Right!” Changkyun says, like he forgot and just remembered. “You remember when the Big Boi was all nom on our arm?”

Kihyun licks his lips to avoid smiling. “ _Yeeaaaah?_ What about it.”

“I was thinking, because you’re all, like, _pew pew, slash slash,_ offense, right, that I could install a metal shield to the left arm. Kinda like in those old video games, you know? Block, slash, etcetera. Would make it more difficult for them to sink their teeth in, for sure.”

Kihyun blinks at the piece of chicken in the spoon he’s taking to his mouth. “A retractable shield. Extra armour plating that turns into one?” He looks up.

“Exactly!” Changkyun grins. “I could install it on the right arm, too, and they can--” he brings up his arms, puts his forearms together in front of him and peeks around them. “Connect.” He lets his arms fall. “In case we need to block a lot of damage.”

“That…” _Is actually a great idea, what the fuck._ “Make it pointy near the end,” Kihyun nods. “A good shield is a good weapon.”

“Ooooh, I can give it activated spikes, if you want? Press a button and it’s all spikey.”

“I love it when you talk dirty,” Kihyun chuckles.

Changkyun barks a loud laugh. “You’re silly. So you like it? I was gonna go tell Shownu-hyung about it after dinner. Need Palladium alloy for this, after all. Shit, where am I going to get that...” Changkyun bites at his lip before he shrugs.

Kihyun grins for a second and then shifts a little, finishes his soup and pushes the tray aside to lean over the table. “Say, ‘Kihyun is great’ and I’ll tell you.”

Changkyun leans in, too, narrows his eyes. “This is extortion…”

“Nope,” Kihyun shakes his head, brings one hand down to his hip as he slides his other arm, folded, over the table. “This is a business. A trade. A fair trade, if you ask for my most humble opinion.”

“I didn’t,” Changkyun grins, leans a little closer and says. “Kihyun is _great_.”

Kihyun smiles a little, makes a kiss sound and leans back. “Eat. And then let’s talk to Show--I mean the General. We need his approval for this whole thing anyway.”

Changkyun quirks an eyebrow, cheeks a little pink. “Approval? What dangerous road are you leading me down, Yoo Kihyun?”

“I guess you’ll just have to trust me,” Kihyun says, crosses both arms over the table.

“Good thing I already do,” Changkyun says, tosses an apple in the air, catches it and takes a bite.


	7. Smooth Sailing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kihyun likes productive days. And at least for a while there he managed to forget. Forget about the guilt and everything else it brings with it.

 

It’s a different part of the city, this time. 

Hwasa had liked the outskirts and the beach. Now, they’re surrounded by people and lights in various shades of purple and red. Changkyun’s seen cities like this in pictures, but he’s never experienced it like this. He’s aware he’s staring, gaping a little at most things, at the clever solar lights that look like the lanterns from ages back; market stalls with scrolling text in neon in the air atop them, blinking in and out of existence; walls that are slightly pixelated, three-dimensional adverts, seemingly addressing them as they pass.

Changkyun wonders if this is what the world would have looked like if not for the Kaiju. When the Breach opened, science and technology advanced fast, almost stupid fast. It wasn’t conceivable to have something like giant robots, where you need to read your partner’s mind (the Kaiju hive-like mind helped with this bit), plasma cannons, shit like that, but here they are. With incredible, but necessary, leaps in technology.

“Why do all the drinks look slightly radioactive?” Changkyun asks, passing what looks like a slushy stand. The drinks are  _ shiny _ . They give off light! They’re luminescent slushies!

“Because people eat with their eyes,” Kihyun says. And if that’s any kind of metaphor, then Changkyun has to agree, to an extent. The lights reflect off Kihyun’s leather jacket. For someone wearing all back (apart from the white t-shirt) Kihyun sure catches a lot of attention.

“How do you chew?” Changkyun teases, looking away from Kihyun because  _ no fair _ .

Kihyun leans closer and says, “Like this,” as he blinks really fast.

Changkyun laughs and claps his hands in front of Kihyun’s face. “You look like you’re trying to take flight. Or you’re  _ really  _ bad at flirting.”

“Hey,” Kihyun complains, leaning back to frown at Changkyun. “I’m  _ great  _ at flirting!”

“Hmm, when we get back, I’ll call Nate, find out…”

“It’s so smooth,” Kihyun explains, “You don’t even notice.”

“Oh, he shaves?” Changkyun jokes, grinning wide.

“Actually, yeah, he does,” Kihyun snorts. “It was weird…” He frowns at a neon sign and then looks ahead again. “Don’t wander too far, by the way.”

“Pfff, hell no. You’re my leather clad bodyguard, I ain’t going anywhere.” Somewhere in Changkyun’s head there’s still the word ‘smooth’ and he sticks out his tongue.  _ Do  _ not  _ wanna think about Nate like that, no thank you _ . Especially not with Kihyun’s memories of the event somewhere at the back of his head.

“Great, ‘cause we’re actually meeting with a Russian dealer.” Kihyun tilts his head at Changkyun. “Which means they already know we’re here for her. And by ‘they’ I mean the six guys who have been following us since we turned that last street.”

“Ah,” Changkyun says, like he’s  _ totally  _ cool with being trailed by Russians. “Cool.  _ Great _ , really. Do you know what she’ll want for the Palladium, anyway?”

“What she always wants,” Kihyun sighs. “Information and whatever we have collected of that Kaiju we killed.” Kihyun lowers his voice a little when he adds, “Obviously, the General always bluffs and only gives her like twenty five percent of what she’s owned. But it will be fine.”

“Have you  _ done  _ this before?” Changkyun gapes a little. “Dealing with Russians? Damn, Kihyun, here I thought mind-melding would cut out all the surprises.”

“You only remember what you want to remember,” Kihyun mumbles. “And yes, it’s the reason why the General wanted me here and accepted my transfer. Because I’m a good shot and because I have my old contacts back from when I worked for the CSIS.”

“The CSIS regularly works with Russian mobsters? Who’d have thought...”

“Not exactly,” Kihyun laughs, “Our motto is international relationships with… guns.”

Changkyun keeps looking around--it’s hard not to! There are so many lights and they keep sticking to the corners of his eyes, wanting attention. He smiles when they pass a big holographic advertisement for some sort of green energy drink. “Never really liked guns… No offense.”

“None taken,” Kihyun says in amusement. He shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans and nods at a sign just ahead. It looks like an advertisement, but when Changkyun squints enough to make sense of the neon lights, it turns out to be the name of a bar. “That’s where we’re going.”

Changkyun frowns. “What, no sketchy abandoned warehouse, penthouse suite with gold-plated doors? Mm.”

“What?” Kihyun snorts. “No. Which, honestly? Is a lot worse. When they can afford to do what they do in broad daylight and in front of everyone? They’re not to be messed with.” He shrugs. “It’s fine, though. She’s a friend… More or less.” 

Changkyun shakes his head. “Every question and answer just makes me more and more antsy.” 

They walk in, and it’s not exactly fancy but it’s not bad, either. There’s a small stage with a band--well, a guy with a cello, another guy with a saxophone but they look like they’re having fun doing what they do--and a few booths with red seats and dark wooden tables. The bar is slightly purple with the lights that illuminate all the different bottles on glass shelves behind it. 

There aren’t that many people inside. But there are enough people to make Changkyun think this is a rather famous spot.

Someone winks at Changkyun and he just slowly moves a little closer to Kihyun.  _ Nope _ .

“In here,” Kihyun says, moves a hand to Changkyun’s back to guide him to one of the booths. “Take a seat.”

“Why am I suddenly nervous?” Changkyun asks as he does sit down, wipes his palms on his pants. “Seriously, you look so damn cool and collected with your leather jacket and your--” Changkyung gestures vaguely at Kihyun. “All that. Pretty sure I just look like a skittish nerd...”

Kihyun sits down next to Changkyun and raises an eyebrow at him. “Isn’t that how you look all the time, though?”

“I would be offended but honestly, yes. Working on the skittish bit, though.”

As he says that, though, he jumps a little in his seat, hand going to Kihyun’s leg for a second as a woman sits across from them. Changkyun takes her in with eyes he hopes aren’t too wide. Bright red suit, clearly tailored exactly for her, blonde hair in waves to her shoulders. Her lips are the same colour as her suit, eyes an icy blue. She smiles wide at the two of them, tilts her head at Kihyun.

“Hey, gorgeous,” she says in velvety English, and Changkyun had expected a stronger accent. “Cards on the table, if you would be so kind.”

Kihyun scoffs a laugh and leans forward, hand reaching to his back and under his jacket to bring out a black handgun that he places over the table and slides to the center.

Changkyun gapes despite himself. “You had that this  _ whole time _ ?”

Kihyun leans back and crosses his arms over the table, glances at Changkyun for a moment and then at the woman. He looks over his shoulder, though, when six men enter the bar and look at them before turning towards a booth nearby.

A big--like,  _ big _ \--man in a black suit stands next to their table, and Changkyun blinks at him.

“Oh, don’t mind Bob,” the woman says, “He’s a gentle soul, really.”

Bob grunts. Changkyun just looks away, between the woman and Kihyun.

“Now,” she says, leaning back in the booth, red nails tapping at the table. “What on Earth would you want Palladium for, mm?”

“Well,” Kihyun starts in English, clears his throat, gestures vaguely at Changkyun, “I’ll let him do the talking.”

Changkyun looks at him for a moment with eyes a bit panicked, before blinking and turning to the woman, bows his head a little. “Palladium is strong, conductive and light-weight. It would be ideal for the upgrades I have planned for a Jaeger.”

She quirks an eyebrow. “That  _ you  _ have planned?” She laughs a little, leaning forward. “Oh, Kihyun, you didn’t tell me you’d be bringing someone smart  _ and  _ pretty.”

“Off limits,” Kihyun says bluntly. “Someone off limits.”

_ I am _ ? Changkyun bites at his lip, blushes just a little as the woman rolls her eyes. 

“Gosh,” she sighs, “You’re absolutely no fun. But alright. Suppose it wouldn’t be in my own best interests to refuse to help you lot fight off these monsters. I happen to quite like being alive.”

“We’d need--” Changkyun clears his throat.  _ Off limits _ . “A rough estimate, about… forty five pounds.”

“So many pounds,” Kihyun mumbles in Korean.

The woman laughs a little. “Alright… Well, I’m sure Ki knows what I want.” She glances over. “With that Category 4 you took down recently, I’m sure you’ll have more than what I ask for.”

“Fifty percent,” Kihyun says. “The General said forty five but I’m feeling generous, so… Fifty.”

“Oh, that  _ is  _ generous,” she says, winks. “Sure you don’t want some?”

Changkyun blinks, a little confused, leans over to talk to Kihyun in Korean. “What does she want?”

“Kaiju bones,” she answers, and Changkyun leans back, feeling a little sheepish. “ _ Fantastic  _ aphrodisiac. Especially for men,” she says, winks at him this time. “Mm, think of all the fun we could have…”

“Ugh,” Kihyun rolls his eyes, looks away. He shivers a little, too.

“In any case,” she says, smiling as Changkyun’s cheeks flare up. “I’ll have the stock delivered later tonight. If you promise payment on delivery, I might even throw in a free sample.”

“Generous,” Kihyun says, glances at her, “It will be done. I’ll make sure I’ll be there.”

“Good. Now try not to be a stranger, mm?” she says, as she gets up in one fluid movement.

Changkyun bows his head a little again. “It was nice to meet you.”

She laughs. “Oh, how precious… Do bring him again next time. Even if I can’t touch, I can still look.”

Kihyun rolls his eyes and reaches for the handgun, slides it back over the table and then tucks into his jeans, under his jacket. “I’m starting to think I’m a candle. Do I always have to be around for this?” He glances at Changkyun and gets up. “Come on, cupcake.”

The woman laughs, motions for the man--Bob, was it?--to follow. “At least somebody’s fireproof… Ta-ta,” she says, and walks through to the back of the bar without garnering a single look. Scary.

Changkyun shivers, getting up. “Why do I feel like that woman wanted to eat me or something…”

“In all senses of the word, I think,” Kihyun says and then shivers. “I’m starting to think women have a thing for pretty, nerdy, smart guys.”

“Good to know I’m a ‘type’,” Changkyun says, glancing around the bar before blinking at Kihyun. “Did you just call me pretty?”

Kihyun looks over his shoulder, hand on the door, “Hm? Yeah? I guess so.” He squints. “You are pretty. Never said otherwise.” And pushes the door as he walks outside.

Changkyun’s pretty sure he’s going to get whiplash if it keeps going like this. He follows outside, though, thinks, ‘ _ You’re pretty, too _ ’. “Guess we’re going back to the Shatterdome, then..?"

Kihyun looks around and then at Changkyun, tilts his head. “Do you want to go back?” He smiles a little. “I’m sure it would be okay to just walk slowly. Try the colorful drinks you kept ogling?”

Changkyun looks at Kihyun with barely controlled excitement. “What, seriously? Oh my god, can I have the green one? It looks so cool! Like it could power a Jaeger in large enough quantities!”

“Pffft,” Kihyun laughs and then shakes his head. “Sure. I’ll get the blue one, then. The coolant!” He says and tilts his head so Changkyun will follow. “I’m still feeling quite stupid. Wouldn’t have thought of using the damn coolant.”

“Well, I have to be useful in  _ some  _ way,” Changkyun smiles wide, jogging a little to join at Kihyun’s side. The lights keep reflecting off the little metal bits of Kihyun's leather jacket, a little off his black hair, too. 

“You are useful in a lot of ways,” Kihyun says, sighs. “You thought about the echolocation, the coolant… And in time. If you hadn’t…” Kihyun runs a hand through his hair (Changkyun has to physically look away) and scoffs a laugh, “I wouldn’t be here right now, I’m afraid.”

Changkyun bumps at Kihyun’s shoulder. “We’re a good team, Captain. When I froze, you punched that Big Boi right in the face. You hit that killing blow. Teamwork! You’re actually the first person I  _ like  _ working with, to be honest.”

Kihyun brings his hand up to his chest, “I’m touched.” 

“You should be. There’s a bunch of Americans in my lab right now, and I want to release some natural toxin in there or some shit, I’m losing my  _ mind _ .”

“Want me to walk in and order them around for a bit?” Kihyun chuckles, pulls at Changkyun’s sleeve and stops in front of a stall. 

“Oh,  _ please _ . The more menial the better,” Changkyun laughs, stares at the shiny drinks, points at the green tank of what looks like slush. He hops a little in place. “This one, this one, this one!”

Kihyun smiles a little, raises his hand and gestures at the shopkeeper, “Two, one blue and a green one,” he says in _ \--Cantonese?! _ \-- and slides a note over.

The shopkeeper nods and methodically serves them their drinks, changes the note but Kihyun tells him to keep the change--at least that’s what it sounded like--and then their on their way again, Changkyun holding a large cup of neon green slush. Maybe that will turn him into the Hulk.

“Thank you!” Changkyun says, taking a sip. It burns. It tastes like… Apple? He sticks his tongue out with a grimace, but puts a thumb up. “It tastes nice but… Is there alcohol in here? Oh boy…”

“In theory? Yes,” Kihyun huffs a laugh, “But don’t tell the General. Technically, I am still on duty.”

“Ah, gotcha,” Changkyun laughs, takes another sip through the red straw. It’s better, now, for some reason. It still glows, though, as he lifts it up to stare a little. “I should warn you, I have the alcohol tolerance of a… I don’t even know. A goldfish.”

“That’s okay,” Kihyun mumbles, takes a sip of his drink.

“It is?”

Kihyun frowns, glances at Changkyun. “Yeah? I mean, live a little, right?”

“So it’s not some,” Changkyun laughs. “Weakness or something?”

Kihyun makes a face and Changkyun knows it has nothing to do with his drink. “What? No… That’s really stupid. Making fun of people because of that is like smoking a pack of cigars a day and mocking whoever doesn’t. I mean, sure thing, but you’ll still die first.”

Changkyun laughs. “Hey, at least it’s cheaper for me to get drunk, right?”

“See?” Kihyun points at him. “I totally agree.” He frowns. “Never agree to get shitfaced with the American soldiers. They think drinking is a personality trait. You’ll be on the floor and your wallet will be empty and they’ll be fine.”

“Now,” Changkyun takes a long sip. It’s… really nice, now. Damn. “Why would I agree to do anything with an American?”

“I feel like that’s a jab? Or am I just, I don’t know.”

“Are you prejudiced, Yoo Kihyun?” Changkyun grins. “You know, I saw your  _ friend  _ Nate training with someone the other day. They looked pretty Drift Compatible from where I was standing.”

Kihyun scoffs a laugh, frowns a little. “You say that like it’s supposed to bother me.” He sighs. “You probably know this already but… The thing with Nate wasn’t really a thing. Your thing with Hwasa was more of a thing than our thing… I am starting to hate the word ‘thing’.”

“Aish, don’t call it a thing,” Changkyun winces, laughs a little, though. “It was just… The same thing as your thing. I think. In a way. Whatever.”

“People do what they gotta do,” Kihyun says, sighs and then looks at Changkyun, “Besides… The whole compatibility with Nate was weird. Not bad, you know? It would have worked. But… I could feel myself being pushed around without any sort of tactic… We would… I don’t know. He didn’t feel safe. You do, though.”

“Well!” Changkyun says, a little louder than intended. “I don’t even think he knows what a coolant is, so.”

“Hm, yeah well,” Kihyun smiles a little, takes another drink.

“I feel safe with you, too! ‘Cause you said I wouldn’t die. I still got your dogtags, wait here lemme--” Changkyun reaches into his shirt, fumbles a little. “Goshdarnit…”

Kihyun stops walking, watches Changkyun fumble in amusement and the snorts a laugh, reaches for the silver string on Changkyun’s neck and pulls at it until the dog tags slides out of his shirt.

“Yeah, those!” Changkyun grins wide. 

“This one is mine,” Kihyun says, thumbing at one.

“Who’s the other one’s then?”

Kihyun picks up the other tag and the look on his face is that one Changkyun sees sometimes, a little absent, like Kihyun is not really here. But Kihyun smiles small and says, “My boyfriend’s.” He shrugs. “Well… Ex-boyfriend, I suppose.”

“Not like you ever broke up,” Changkyun says softly, looking down at the tags. “I’m sorry, by the way…”

“It’s okay,” Kihyun sighs, lets the tags go and starts walking again. “Would love for a chance to breakup.” He jokes. “It’s easier to move on from that.”

Changkyun smiles a little softly. He’d… felt it, in the Drift, because of course he did. It was good, while it lasted. Such a sad thing to think. 

“Goodbyes are a scarce commodity,” Changkyun just says, looks down at the dog tags. “Do you want his back…?”

“No,” Kihyun says, glances away and takes a deep breath, “Keep them. Until this is over. And if I’m not here when it ends, just throw them at the sea or something.”

“What makes you think I’ll be around if you’re not?” Changkyun asks, frowns a little at the words he probably shouldn’t have said. 

“Seriously?” Kihyun snorts, throws an arm over Changkyun’s shoulders and shakes him a little, “Who else is gonna beat them Kaiju, the Americans? You better not let that happen.”

Changkyun laughs. “If only to prevent that, yeah?” Changkyun leans into him a little, and like that, they walk for a while, and glowing apple seems to permeate his brain. He realises, then, he’s not really leaning on Kihyun because he wants to. More like he has to. “M’serious, though,” Changkyun says. “Don’t wanna lose someone in the Drift--is what happened to--to Showny, can you even imagine…”

“I’ve heard…” Kihyun whispers. He turns his head a little and nuzzles into Changkyun’s hair. Changkyun’s heart feels a little louder. “Don’t want that either. I’d rather have you processing pi all goddamn day,” he chuckles and leans away but keeps his arm over Changkyun.

“How’s your drink?” Changkyun asks, smiles. “You look happy…”

Kihyun frowns at him and stops, lets his arm fall and grins a little, “Hey, show me your tongue.”

Changkyun blinks slowly. “Tha’s a weird pick up line…”

Kihyun rolls his eyes and sticks his tongue and-- _ It’s blue! _

“You look like a smurf!” Changkyun laughs.

“Thank you?” Kihyun snorts and points with his drink at Changkyun. “Yours is green.”

Changkyun sticks out his tongue as far as he can and feels his eyes cross a little as he tries to look at it. 

“That would be very pornographic if not for the weird eyes,” Kihyun snorts, steps a little away as if Changkyun is suddenly contagious.

“I’ve got a long tongue,” Changkyun says, blows a raspberry and laughs. “No, really, I can lick my elbow!”

“What?” Kihyun makes a face. “For real?!”

“For real! Bored nights in the lab. Hold this,” Changkyun says, holds out his drink before gripping his arm at the wrist to bring it close and stick out his tongue and, as he knew he would, manages to lick at his elbow. He laughs and brings his arms up in victory. “Ta-dah!”

Kihyun is looking at Changkyun like he just grew another head. “What… What?” He blinks and then frowns, looks down for a moment before his face contorts in disgust. “Ugh! So that’s why you went down on her so much!” He shivers. “Why! Did I just remember this!”

Changkyun blushes furiously, shoves a little at Kihyun. “Stop  _ thinking _ about it, oh my god!”

Kihyun shivers again and holds out both drinks. “Ugh, whatever. My turn. Watch me fail with grace.” He takes off his jacket and it’s unfair really, because even though Changkyun knows Kihyun has really nice arms, the way that white t-shirt hugs around them just makes it all very, very stupid.

Thankfully, though, beyond the squish of muscle that pops out when Kihyun tries to lick his elbow, everything turns funny when his hand slips and his hits himself in the face.

“Ow!”

Changkyun crumbles like a leaf. He barely manages not to spill the drinks. “Oh, god!” he laughs, and laughs and laughs. “I’m--I’m dying!”

“Told ya I’d fail,” Kihyun laughs, too, rubs a little at his nose where he hit himself, “With  _ grace.” _

“Just--” Changkyun wheezes on the floor. “Just leave me here to die, oh god…”

Kihyun kicks him softly, leans down to pick up his drink from Changkyun’s hand, “Come on, silly.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Changkyun laughs, pushes himself up. “Wow, you--Kaiju’s; a piece of cake. Your own hand--” he laughs again. “I’m flashing back.”

“Oh god, you’re not gonna let this go,” Kihyun groans, throws his head back.

“It’s funny!” Changkyun laughs. “Whenever I’m sad I’ll just think of that and boom, sadness, gone.”

“Good to know I have that effect on you,” Kihyun snorts, bites at his straw and then stops, glances at Changkyun and holds the drink out for him. “Wanna try? It tastes like blueberries, supposedly… I have no idea what actual blueberries taste like.”

“Lemme check, then,” Changkyun smiles, doesn’t take the drink, just leans forward and takes a sip. “Ooooh, that’s  _ nice _ . Definitely blueberry… Stronger than mine, I think, jesus...”

Kihyun smiles a little, “Out of ten, how tipsy are you already?”

Changkyun holds up all his fingers, almost drops the drink but manages to catch it. “Whelp. I was gonna say seven but that just like--” he frowns at his drink. “S’empty, how’d that ‘appen…”

Kihyun chuckles, shakes his head and throws his arm over Changkyun’s shoulders again. “Come on, the walk back will sober you up.” He sips at his drinks and then adds, “Next time we can… try the food, I guess.”

“Hmmpfff,” Changkyun says. “Sounds nice… Chicken, maybe, want chicken. Ice cream! Not chicken ice cream. Different concepts.”

Kihyun finishes his drink and throws it a whole meter into a basket with a little, “Bingo,” under his breath and then pulls the jacket from under his arm and brings it over his shoulder. “I’m going to sleep late, today. Gotta oversee the exchange…” He mumbles.

“Can I--” Changkyun frowns. He shouldn’t. But it’s okay. Doesn’t mean more than it feels. “When you come back, can I play with your hair again? S’soft. Helps me sleep better. No bad dreams.”

Kihyun doesn’t say anything for a moment. But after a long breath he whispers, “Yeah. Okay.”

“Yaaaay,” Changkyun sing-songs, also tries to throw his drink into a basket. It bounces off the bin, though. “Oh, shit,” he says. 

Kihyun stops and lets him go to pick up the cup. Instead of throwing it himself, though, he steps behind Changkyun and taps at his arm. “Dead arm for me?” He asks, brings his arms around Changkyun and fits the drink in his hand.

Changkyun shivers a little. Warm. “Isn’t this a bad time to test my coordination..?”

“It’s not  _ your _ coordination,” Kihyun mumbles, grabs the wrist of the hand holding the cup and aims a little. “It’s ours.” And when they throw the cup, it fumbles a little and then drops into the bin.

Changkyun gapes, turns to smile wide at Kihyun over his shoulder. “We did it!”

Kihyun headbutts him softly and then lets go. “Yep,” he says as he starts walking again. “We did, silly. We did.”

  
  


 

Fifty five pounds. That’s a lot more than they’d bargained for and the General was not happy about the extra five percent Kihyun decided to add to the deal. Kihyun could tell by the look the General gave him when the man representing the Russians asked for fifty percent instead of forty five.

Still, all is forgotten when three carrier-choppers show up on the horizon after the General delivers the credentials necessary to mine the Kaiju corpse.

“The U.N. won’t be happy about this,” Kihyun sing-songs lowly as he sways a little where he stands, arms crossed, eyes on the landing zone.

_ “Acquiring approach vector, ready for the drop in five,” _ someone says over the intercom.

“Well, if things go south with the U.N. I’ll just tell them it was your idea,” the General teases.  _ Teases! _ This abuse of power is uncanny. Kihyun can’t even talk back.

“How do we even know that’s what we asked for, does it burn pink under fire or..?” Kihyun asks, follows after the General when he approaches the landing zone.

The intercom beeps.  _ “Dropping.” _

Fifty five pounds of metal ready to melt fall over the landing pad like thunder in the distance, or a Jaeger collapsing in on itself. There is a certain sound Palladium makes. Kihyun didn’t even know he knew this until now. But it’s familiar. It’s something unforgettable.

“I’m sure our resident scientist will be able to distinguish, but,” the General says. “Sounds like Palladium to me. Shield, right? Mm. Amazed we hadn’t thought of that yet.”

Kihyun narrows his eyes at the metal. The wind howls a little.  _ It’s going to rain again. _ It certainly rains a lot lately, more than it usually does. Something, just a little feeling, tells Kihyun it’s got nothing to do with the seasons changing.

“Honestly,” he mumbles, looks up at the choppers maneuvering to fly away, “I’m surprised you didn’t get him to join us sooner…”

The General chuckles a little under his breath. “You think we didn’t try? It took the end of the world for Im Changkyun to leave that research lab.”

“It took the end of the world to keep him here, too,” Kihyun mumbles.  _ That’s a lot of clouds. _ “He’s stupidly brilliant, though. Kinda pisses me off.” And also makes him feel just a tad proud.

“Oh?” the General asks, nods to someone before signing something on a clipboard. “Must be interesting getting into his head. Is that why you say so?”

Kihyun shrugs one shoulder, takes a deep breath. “He’s got a terrible reaction time. But… He thinks outside the box. We’re… used to protocol. And protocol is great until it bites you in the ass. He doesn’t care about any of that. And he knows a lot, not just about the mechanics of Jaegers but… physics and chemistry..? Makes me feel kinda dumb. And then he’s like a walking calculator,” Kihyun scoffs.

“If I didn’t know you better,” the General smiles. “I’d think you were boasting.”

Kihyun smiles a little and raises an eyebrow. He shrugs and pats the General’s arm before turning around to face the front gate. “Honestly? I kinda am.”

“Good,” the General chuckles. “You know, I actually wasn’t all that surprised when it turned out the two of you were compatible. I’ve known the kid for a while now, and he’s… incredibly private.”

Kihyun scoffs a laugh, shivers a little when the wind blows, “And what’s that got to do with me?” He watches the night workers give a little jog to the landing pad, some jump into carrying carts. It will be a lot of work to bring all this metal inside... 

“You both have this tendency to…” the General looks up, like he’s thinking. “You’re different, when you let people in. Changkyun can come off as weird and insensitive, but he thinks differently, and he cares a  _ lot _ . Same with you,” the General shrugs. “There are a lot of cadets here that are incredibly intimidated by you. Some even go as far as to think you’re cold-hearted. So I had the idea that you two might be able to unmask each other.”

Kihyun blinks slowly. “Why do I get the feeling that you enjoy taking every chance you get to insult me? Insensitive? Cold-hearted?” He snorts, looks away. “Do people actually think that?” Not that being liked is a priority. That’s Changkyun’s thing. But...

“The ones who think they know you and then see what they want to,” the General shrugs. “If it’s any consolation, not even one of the Ranger candidates likes Changkyun. And no, I’m not trying to insult you.” 

“If you say so,” Kihyun mumbles. Not surprising people don’t like Changkyun. Not even Kihyun did in the beginning. “Well, I’m going to bed. I need some sleep. Goodnight, sir.”

“Goodnight, Captain,” the General says with a bow of his head, holds his own hands behind his back and walks away.

The walk back inside feels slightly relaxing. There’s something about the cold wind and the ominous clouds. The hangar is nearly empty, just a few night workers scrambling around. It’s almost peaceful.

Today was a good day.  _ Right? _ Productive, to the say the least. Kihyun likes productive days. And at least for a while there he managed to forget. Forget about the guilt and everything else it brings with it. But that’s Im Changkyun for people. They either hate his guts or he weasels his way inside--more like weeds his way inside like a climbing plant. And that’s the worst part, isn’t it? Climbing plants are little creepers and they hold onto walls so tight that once someone tries to pluck them away, they leave a mark.

The Drift doesn’t help. But at least it feels safe.

Kihyun waves his card in front of the sensor and the door opens. He stops, though, and frowns as he watches Changkyun on the top bunk, throw the pillow against the ceiling and laugh every time it flops onto his face.

_ Idiot. _

“Having fun?” Kihyun asks as he paces in and the door closes behind him. He shrugs off his jacket and walks to his locker.

Changkyun sits up, hugging the pillow close on his lap. “Yep! Hey, remember when you got me that energy drink? It’s great, just had it. Tastes like craaaaaanberries.”

Kihyun looks over his shoulder as he steps out of his boots. “What? You just had an energy drink? What happened to sleep? You know it’s like four in the morning, right?”

Changkyun pouts. “Didn’t wanna fall asleep without you but I was tired and it was like, right there…”

Kihyun’s heart does a little thing and he frowns. “Right…” He turns to glare at his locker.  _ Stupid kid, making me sentimental. _ “You’ll be dead tomorrow, though. You know that, right?”

“ _ Nah _ ,” Changkyun waves his hand around. “I already got the blueprints ready for the shield--” and points to his small desk, covered in papers. “Was gonna do that in the morning so now I can shleeps.”

Kihyun pulls his t-shirt over his head and frowns at it. “Why are you acting all soft and--ugh, I don’t know.” He looks over his shoulder. “All that nonsense. What’s up with that?” Honestly, it’s like looking at puppies and wanting to steal them. It’s horrible.

Changkyun frowns like he doesn’t understand the question. “What’s the point of being a grown up if you can’t be a little childish sometimes?” He tosses the pillow up again. “And I’m tired. I know I get… Dunno the word, when m’tired. Or comfy.”

Kihyun pulls a clean t-shirt over his head and gets rid of his pants--infernal things, skinny jeans.

“Whoo,” Changkyun laughs. “Strip show!”

Kihyun snorts a laugh, “I think you’re just spoiled,” he shrugs. “And that might be my fault, to be honest.”

“I grew my own ‘tatoes! M’not spoiled!”

“I am going to develop a new type of diabetes if I keep listening to you talk.”

Changkyun laughs. “You’re silly.” And flops down on the bed, stretching like a cat.

Kihyun rolls his eyes and walks into the bathroom to, well, do bathroom business. He expects Changkyun to be asleep by the time he walks out, but nope. Still awake, eyes looking silly, too, with the small smile on his face.

“Why are you in my bed?” Kihyun asks even though he knows why. He flicks the lights off and wanders closer.

“Had to make sure,” Changkyun yawns.

“Make sure of what, exactly,” Kihyun scoffs as he climbs onto the top bunk. “Roll over…”

Changkyun immediately makes grabby hands at him. “Teddy bear.”

Kihyun sighs. “You know, this was not how I expected our relationship to go. I’m not a plushie, you idiot.” But even as he says that, he lets Changkyun throw his arms around him and pull him closer. “You seriously need to get yourself a girlfriend,” Kihyun mumbles, hates the way his body just melts when Changkyun starts carding his fingers through his hair.

“Don’t want one,” Changkyun mumbles. “And is okay, I know you like it.” He pokes at Kihyun’s head before scratching lightly at his scalp. It makes Kihyun shiver a little. It also makes his eyelids feel heavier. 

“Like what? You or being treated like a cat?”

“Both,” Changkyun jokes. 

Kihyun scoffs a laugh and nuzzles in, lets his body melt all over the mattress. “Sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

“Quite literally,” Changkyun giggles. “G’night, Rightie.”

“Good night, Leftie.”

  
  


 

 

Changkyun was right. Nate got himself a Leftie, too. What Kihyun didn’t expect, however, is that finding a compatible pilot quite literally means getting an invitation to sit at their table. Up until now, Kihyun thought it was a friends thing. He wasn’t a pilot before and he got to sit here. But now he’s not so sure… Maybe he was the exception to the law, or whatever people call it. Maybe it wasn’t the ‘friends’ table but the ‘Rangers’ table.

The worst part, though, is not really the weird looks Nate gives Kihyun sometimes. It’s his passive excitement about the whole thing. Not that Rangers aren’t really excited to do their jobs (some more than others). But something doesn’t sit well with Kihyun. And maybe that’s got something to do with their own, however small, compatibility. After all, Kihyun did have a glimpse into that Neural Handshake. And all it made him feel was an empty kind of anxiety.

“How much did the two of you score?” Hyungwon asks as he finishes his drink. He’s pretty much done and Kihyun is begging him with his eyes to just  _ fucking stay _ . But if Kihyun had to measure this in Drift compatibility, he and Hyungwon would be a -100%. So, obviously, Hyungwon doesn’t get it. Strange, considering they’re kinda alike in some things. But it is what it is.

“Ah, forty six, was it?” Nate asks, holding his drink in a lackadaisical way. It looks like it’s going to tip out of his hand at any second. It’s mildly unnerving. 

“Yeah, I think so,” Kihyun mumbles to his food. He’s quite literally above all these people, he could tell them to shut up. But he doesn’t. Because that’s just stupid.

“New partner got us up to a sixty five,” Nate says, smiling proudly. “They brought a Jaeger in all the way from America for us.”

“That’s great,” Kihyun says, smiles a little and then looks away.

“When’s that scientist guy of yours sayin’ the next Kaiju’s gonna come?”

Kihyun shrugs one shoulder. “There’s no prediction yet. But if there is, it won’t be anything like last time.”

Hyungwon gets up. “Well, if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do.” He looks at Kihyun and makes a face and then looks at Nate and smiles fake before walking away.

_ Great. _

“Y’all did a great job takin’ down that Scorpio,” Nate says, conversationally. Kihyun can still feel Nate’s eyes on him, though.

“Thanks. Although… It was mostly--”  _ Stop right there, Yoo Kihyun. _ “Teamwork.” _ Yep, that works. _

“That’s the whole point, isn’t it?” Nate says, then. He points his fork, looks over his shoulder and when Kihyun looks, too, Changkyun’s standing in line for the food, wearing the Engineering jumpsuit Kihyun had seen on him a few times, now. What Kihyun doesn’t expect is the small ponytail keeping the blonde hair out of his eyes and glasses. “So, uh, are you two..?”

A weird feeling climbs all the way up from Kihyun’s chest. What the fuck. Why is he panicking? He blinks and looks at Nate, frowns. “What? No.” It festers like fear. And it makes Kihyun shiver and little. He looks down at his plate. “We’re friends. Just because we’re Drift compatible doesn’t mean there is something going on…”

“Ah, no, I know that, I was just wonderin’,” Nate says, shrugs a little when he looks away. 

“Why?” Kihyun asks, looks up with a guarded expression.

Nate shrugs again, takes a drink. “Guess I’m just tryin’ not to think I was the problem,” Nate chuckles a little.

Kihyun feels his heart squeeze a little. Again, guilt. “You weren’t…” He mumbles, looks away. “You really weren’t.” He wants to get up and leave but that would be insensitive. So, he just stays and looks at his food, tries to find it in him to start eating.

Nate raises his glass as if for a toast, just as Changkyun plops down across from them, eyes a little narrowed at Nate. “Hey…”

“Hey,” Kihyun says, barely looking up.  _ Worst timing ever, idiot. _

“Hello,” Nate says, though, smiles at him all white teeth and eyes crinkling a little at the corners. “Don’t think we ever really met all proper and such. Gonna be fighting with y’all for the next Kaiju, so I think it’s good that I do.”

Awkward is an understatement. And then there’s that uneasy feeling, currently sitting at the bottom of Kihyun’s stomach. That's probably why he doesn’t want to eat.

“What, already?” Changkyun asks, frowning. 

Nate frowns, too. “Need all you can get, right?”

“Right,” Changkyun says, glances at Kihyun and pokes at his food with his own fork. Without even a word said, Kihyun can hear it.  _ Eat _ .

Kihyun rolls his eyes a little and stabs a carrot. He knows it’ll be cold but he still grimaces a little as he munches.  _ Cold. _

Changkyun smiles a little, brings his plate up and scoops a decent amount of his own vegetables on top of Kihyun’s cold ones.

Nate looks between the two of them. “Wah, it’s like you’re reading each other’s minds or somethin’.”

Kihyun frowns, pouts a little at the vegetables and then mixes them up before shoving some into his mouth.  _ Not cold. _

“We are,” Changkyun smiles, in that way Kihyun can recognise as mildly condescending. “He has a headache,” Changkyun says in a loud whisper, then, puts the fork to his lips before shoving half of his chicken into his mouth, cheek puffing as he chews.

_ Idiot. _

“So,” Kihyun starts, clears his throat and looks at Nate “Who’s your partner?”

Nate looks away from Changkyun after a moment, an odd unease apparent on his face. “French girl,” Nate says, holds out his hand. “Bout this tall. Haley. Tough, though. Feels weird to get your ass handed to you by someone about half your size.”

“I’m kinda half your size,” Kihyun scoffs. And then facepalms. “Ignore me…”

Changkyun chuckles from the other side of the table, says, in Korean, “Ah, so that’s why you liked him.”

Kihyun points at him, “Shush.”

“Anyway,” Nate says, then, glancing at Changkyun again in distaste before smiling at Kihyun. “I look forward to fightin’ with ya. Even if not in the way I thought we would, way in the beginnin’.”

Kihyun smiles a little despite the way his stomach turns. “Yeah… Hopefully it will go smoothly. Would hate to be going in blind like last time…” Kihyun frowns at his plate. “It’s weird to think I probably wouldn’t be here if…” He takes a deep breath and shoves some more food into his mouth. 

Because that’s the truth, isn’t it? That thing came directly for the Conn-pod. If Changkyun hadn’t detected it in time, that Kaiju would have snapped them in half.

“I’ve already installed every type of sensor I could think of into all the Jaegers,” Changkyun mumbles in English. “Any movement and we’ll know about it…”

“It would be a hell of a short war if not for you,” Kihyun mumbles.  _ If this can even be considered a war. At this point, it just feels like avoiding extermination.  _

“Just upgrading the siege weapons, Cap,” Changkyun says, giving a little salute before shoving some more food in his mouth. It looks like he’s trying to eat as fast as he possibly can. Probably to rush back to Engineering or something...

Meanwhile, Kihyun can barely get past those vegetables. He frowns at them and sighs. He gives up and stands up, grabs his tray. “See ya.” And with every step further away from that table, the better he feels.

Maybe it’s true what they say; Out of sight, out of mind.

  
  
  
  
  
  


There are some instructions that are difficult to fuck up. But then again, they  _ did  _ build all these Jaegers on their own (relatively…) and Changkyun trusts Hwasa. She’s probably one of the smartest people on this base. She’d melted the Palladium into the shapes Changkyun had asked, and now it’s just a matter of putting stupidly intricate puzzle pieces together that will make themselves  _ not  _ be together, and then  _ super  _ together. At least, the Shatterdome is  _ big _ ; there was a near empty hanger for Changkyun to lay the pieces down. It’s fucking massive. 

The specs for Rogue Fox are pasted on the closest standing board, next to another with a bunch of equations he’d need for this, little sketches of the different mechanisms he’s thought off. Completely collapsible… Got it.

Changkyun puffs a breath, hands on his hips as he looks at it.  _ ASAP, Kyun, ASAP.  _ He’s fitting one of the connecters to the first piece when he hears a low whistle from somewhere behind him.

“Hey, beautiful!” Jooheon calls out, hand up as he waves.

Changkyun blinks at him a little before he laughs, calls back, “Biology department is downstairs!”

“Been there, done that,” Jooheon chuckles, gives a small run closer when a carrier rushes by. “How’s it going?” Jooheon asks, looking around. “This thing looks massive.”

“Ah, what every man wants to hear…” Changkyun laughs. “Have you seen the things we have to go up against? Not nearly big enough if you ask me…”

“Honestly?” Jooheon sighs, glances at Changkyun, “Was kinda scary having you go out there, dude. I didn’t get to ask but… Are you okay?”

Changkyun frowns, looks back down to his lap and connects it before placing it down, bending down to fit it into the piece. “Yeah? I don’t know. It’s weird… Guess building a massive shield is some sort of coping mechanism, mm?”

Jooheon laughs a little. “Can’t wait to see the cranes pull these up for binding.”

Changkyun laughs, too, “Yeah, me neither. The hardest part was figuring out how to balance this thing. Can’t just add a shitton of weight and expect the thing not to topple over or whatever…”

“Don’t forget to adjust the gravity center,” Jooheon snorts. “Or Captain Stern will be shooting you out of this life when Rogue Fox flops ass down.”

Changkyun laughs. “Oh, god, can you imagine…” He gestures to one of the pieces. “Pick it up.”

“How heavy is this?” Jooheon asks even as he walks towards the closest piece.

“Well, there’s a reason we’re paying in Kaiju bones for human boners for this metal. Super strong, super light.”

“Oh, yeah… Bone dust.” Jooheon rolls his eyes, pick up and piece and makes a face at it. “Oh… didn’t expect it to be  _ this _ light…”

“It’s cool, right?” Changkyun grins. “Wish I could show you how strong it is, but I don’t have a bulldozer at my disposal at the moment. Now put it down, there’s spikes in there.”

Jooheon almost throws the piece across the hangar. “What?! Spikes?!”

Changkyun laughs again, picks up a piece, points it at Jooheon and presses the (small, specific) pressure point on the back, two big (sharp) spikes popping out. “Bam!”

“Eeeeek!” Jooheon jumps a whole meter away. “Why!”

“Are you seriously asking me why I made a really cool weapon when we’re fighting enormous beasts for ownership of this planet? Really, Joo?”

Jooheon hugs himself and shivers. “I get it! You make monsters to fight monsters… but still… The sound it made… It was so metalic and creepy… Like, like,” he gestures in a chop motion, “Katchang!”

“Cat Chang? Cat me!” Changkyun laughs, presses the button and puts the shield down. “It’ll come in handy, don’t worry. Anything interesting happening in Comms?”

“Ah, well,” Jooheon snorts, crosses his arms a little too tight. “Depends.” He glances over. “Things aren’t looking pretty. Apparently the U.N. tried to muffle the rumours about a new Breach. I mean, sure, we know it’s not really a new Breach, it’s much worse. But…” He sighs, reaches into his pocket and brings his phone out, types around and steps closer to show Changkyun. “An amateur video. I swear, they must have been using a telescope to capture this but… Yep, that’s the Kaiju and that’s…” A strange light blinds the screen. “The shot the Captain took.” Jooheon looks over. “It’s all over the news. So… it’s out there.”

“Shit,” Changkyun breathes, frowning at the video. It’s so blurry but it’s obvious what’s going on. “People must be terrified…”

“Look, here’s the thing,” Jooheon says, he looks uncomfortable. “The evacuation orders were vague, you know? We were only allowed to mention a possible tsunami. That’s all. And there’s a whole military operation mounted around that Kaiju corpse.” He sighs. “I get it, in a way… But man, I’d want to know. It’s better to know than to guess. And then we get these Kaiju groupies on TV, coming up with weird theories… It only scares people even more. I mean, it’s not like people aren’t used to this. It’s easier when you know what’s out there but… This Secretary-General of the U.N… I don’t know who’s he’s trying to protect more, if his own ass if the people.”

Changkyun frowns, harsh, at his shield. If only it could protect more than just themselves. “The military trying to keep people safe,” Changkyun says, and in a way, the anger isn’t  _ his _ . Not really. But it still stings. “Is what made people think the walls would be safe. People died because the military didn’t wanna cause ‘panic’.” Changkyun sighs. “It’s all bullshit…”

Jooheon frowns, looks at him. “Yeah, well… It’s pretty divided at this point. It’s like…” Jooheon looks up and around. “Even in here, there are people with ulterior motives. It’s always about more than just ‘protecting’. And then there’s the fact that…” He glances at Changkyun. “Don’t take this the wrong way, I know you and Yoo Kihyun are friends, but soldiers are soldiers. And if they have to sacrifice ten people for the sake of a hundred they will. And it sounds great in theory, until you’re among those ten that go caput.” He shivers. “That just doesn’t sit well with me.”

“If anyone’s going caput,” Changkyun says, standing up. “It’s the guys on the frontlines. But… I get what you mean. Sacrifice is…” Changkyun shivers, glancing up at Jooheon. “Don’t take this the wrong way either, but… I don’t think Kihyun is the type, soldier or no. Sacrifice himself? Sure, he probably wouldn’t even blink. But the people he cares about? I’m not so sure.”

Jooheon pouts, “Yeah… He better care about you then. The guy scares me a little but I’ll throw him to the sharks if I have to.” He squints. “Pretty sure there are sharks in these waters.”

Changkyun reaches up for the dog tags around his neck, fishes them out--puts the one without Kihyun’s name on it, back--and walks closer. “Hey, don’t tell him I showed you this, but…”

Jooheon squints at the dog tag, frowns a little. “Huh… Blood type B?” He glances at Changkyun. “He gave you that?”

“Yep,” Changkyun says, trying to sound as casual as he can. “He said I could give it back to him once all this is over.” Changkyun’s heart squeezes a little. “Feels like a promise, you know? That it’ll be okay in the end…”

Jooheon nods, smiles a little. “Yeah… Dude, I hope you’re right.” He sighs. “I feel like I have to keep my composure every time ‘cause I’m surrounded by people who know how to do it, but… It’s starting to feel a little claustrophobic.”

“I get what you mean... “ Changkyun frowns down at the silver in his palm. “In a way, I think it’s better to have someone in the Drift with you… ‘Cause you know they’re just as scared as you are, but also, that you’ve got someone to watch your back, keep you in check.”

Jooheon sighs, smiles a little wider. “For the record, Kyun… Not that I like watching you leave this place mounted on one of those things but… You…” He fistbumps Changkyun’s shoulder. “Were cool as fuck. Thanks for saving our asses.”

Changkyun chuckles, just as he hears someone walking closer, and, like a secret, he tucks Kihyun’s tag back into his shirt.

“Honey!” Minhyuk shouts, jumps over a few pieces of metal on the floor as he hiccups a, “Didn’t. Know. You were. Here.” He’s carrying something massive on his back. A tank with… Well, it’s blue and frosty and it makes Changkyun’s stomach turn. 

Jooheon’s eyes turn soft. “Hey, there.”

“I’ve been!” Minhyuk huffs as he jumps closer to Changkyun, “Looking for this baby in the cryogenics. A whole tank of Otachi acidic venom ready to test on your pretty Palladium plating!” Minhyuk bounces around the acid sloches inside the tank.

Jooheon’s eyes go wide, then, “What, that’s acid?!” He jumps back. “Ugh!”

“Everything scares you, doesn’t it?” Changkyun laughs a little, stepping over a part and closer to where Minhyuk’s putting the tank down. He crouches down next to it and taps the glass. He knows it isn’t, but it looks a little bit alive. “Oh, this’ll be great… Thank, Min.”

Minhyuk beams, “I know! You’re welcome. Thought you’d like to see how efficient this is.” He looks around. “It’s quite the contraption you’ve got going on.”

“Wasn’t Otachi one the last Kaiju to attack?” Jooheon squints at the venom. “I swear I will jump and scream if that liquid starts talking. It looks alive.”

“Yep,” Minhyuk says, sighs blissfully. “Beautiful thing. Looked a lot like Scorpio, actually.”

“Er, Big Boi,” Changkyun corrects. “Thanks.”

“Right, of course.”

“Is there a hose for this thing?”

Minhyuk gapes. “A hose?!”

“Try a spoon,” Jooheon scoffs and then shivers. “I can totally picture it melting away.”

“And contaminating the sample!” Minhyuk almost screams. He turns the tank around. “Here, a tap. Careful with your hands, though. That thing is corrosive.”

“Mm,” Changkyun hums, brings a piece closer and plops it down under the tap. “Here goes nothing, I guess… Let’s hope this works...”

The liquid drops onto the shield piece, moves across it like oil over water. Changkyun frowns, leans forward.

“Should you be doing that?” Jooheon squeaks.

“Mm, s’fine…” The exterior of the shield creates a thin film, and when the acid bubbles away, it leaves it a little rimpled. “Mmm, looks like it is, hang on--” Changkyun quickly jumps up to get one of his flat-edged screwdrivers, bend back down and scrape across the surface. “Hah!” Changkyun laughs. “Look at this!”

“Why do I find this incredibly gross?” Jooheon grimaces.

Minhyuk laughs. “That’s a thin metal sheet!”

“Copper!” Changkyun grins. “Kaiju acid isn’t hydrofluoric, so working copper into the Palladium makes Copper Fluoride and that’s like… Well, what you’re looking at. Looks like skin. But it means this shield can take a  _ lot _ \--with every hit, the copper creates a thin protective sheet.” Changkyun laughs again. “Oh, this is great, Kihyun’s gonna love this…”

Jooheon and Minhyuk look between each other and grin.

“By the way,” Minhyuk clears his throat. “There’s something I’ve been studying. I watched the recordings we got back from the A.I.s? When you fought Big Boi…”

“Oh?” Changkyun asks, cleaning the part before moving it over to the others, plopping back down on his ass. Work to do, after all.

“Well, you know Kaiju have two brains, right? Their bodies are so big they need a secondary brain to control half their movements. However, those two brains are not independent. But!” Minhyuk points at the acid. “I noticed something in common between Scorpio and Otachi. Scorpio had scythes whereas Otachi had wings. But they had a similar tail. And apparently, I’m thinking, the tail acted independently from the rest of her body. I’m wondering… If this were to be applied to other Kaiju…” Minhyuk looks at Changkyun, “We’d be in trouble. It’s almost impossible to predict something like that, especially when the owner acts on its own accord.”

Changkyun nods, like the fear in his chest isn’t begging for attention. “Did Sharon pick up any patterns…?”

“None,” Minhyuk frowns. “That’s what worries me. There was nothing logical about what it was doing. The only thing the A.I.s could do was predict trajectory with a three second gap. That’s literally nothing.”

Changkyun tongues at the inside of his cheek, nods as he gets back to work fitting all these damn pieces together. “I’ll warn Ki… He has good reflexes, I’ll just have to put full trust in that…”

Minhyuk nods, leans down to pick up the tank and fit the straps onto his shoulders. “Right… Well,” he glances at Jooheon and smiles a little before looking at Changkyun. “I’ll see ya. Work to do.”

Changkyun smiles, gives a small wave and returns to his work. Jooheon hovers, though, so Changkyun blinks up at him a little. “Er. What’s up?”

Jooheon watches Minhyuk until he’s out of sight and then sighs, crosses his arms. “I think I… I think I’m gonna ask him out. For realsies.”

Changkyun gapes up at him. “What, seriously?! That’s--That’s great! To be honest with you, I have no idea how you did that ‘hooking up’ thing without getting… I don’t know, I think I’m too possessive for that shit.”

Jooheon glances at Changkyun. “You and the hottest girl on this base had a one night stand.” Jooheon points at Changkyun. “And you didn’t even tell me! I had to find out through someone else in Comms.”

Changkyun blushes a little. “That was… Ugh, I don’t wanna say a mistake. It was just impulsive, okay? I… needed someone. It’s what I thought, at least.” Changkyun frowns, blushes again. “Ugh, I still feel bad about it. I know I shouldn’t! I know that! But I do.”

Jooheon grumbles something to himself and then rolls his eyes. “Well… At first it was kinda like that. He was pretty, I was drunk.”

“Prettiest boy on base?” Changkyun teases.

“He is, though,” Jooheon pouts. “I dare you to fight me on that.”

Changkyun shrugs. “I don’t really want to. There’s a lot of pretty people on base. Literally all the damn Rangers, for one.”

“Yeah, well,” Jooheon shrugs. “I guess I caught feelings, but… If the world is going to end, it kinda puts things into perspective so… I thought I didn’t want it. Thought I didn’t need it. Turns out I don’t really need it, but I do want it. So…”

Changkyun pouts. “That’s kinda cute… Seriously, I’m glad you’re gonna tell him. If the world’s gonna end, no regrets, right.”

Jooheon scoffs a laugh, starts walking away, “Yeah. That’s the point.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now Playing: [Smooth Sailing](https://youtu.be/QetvK6ldl2s) by Queens of the Stone Age.


	8. Sonic The Kaiju

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because that’s thing, sometimes, the most beautiful things are the most dangerous ones. And, sure. The ocean is beautiful. But it’s where monsters come from.

 

Changkyun wakes up uneasy.

There were no nightmares, but… he wakes up with an odd theme on his mind that makes his stomach turn a little when he thinks of it. He’d be walking down a road, when it splits in two and his gut tells him ‘ _go right, go right, go right_ ’ but he sees himself walk left, and then nothing. He’d have to jump, there would be a countdown, and at three, he’d freeze, and the ground would break out under his feet, and then nothing.

He wakes up when Kihyun does, and can’t get back to sleep, he just stays in bed, peeks at Kihyun as he gets ready for the day. Changkyun falls asleep again, at some point, arms wrapped around a pillow. He wants to stay in bed. He wants to sleep this feeling away. Yet, he wakes up again far, far too uneasy, and really, _really_ just wants to stay in bed.

The Ranger table is… crowded. Nate is there, and a short blonde girl Changkyun assumes to be his new partner. Hoseok and Hyungwon. Dami and Seola. But Kihyun is missing.

Kihyun is pretty set in his routine; wakes up at the same time every day, has breakfast, lunch and dinner and then sleeps. He should be here. So, not particularly hungry (it comes with the restless unease somewhere in his stomach), Changkyun just wanders, hands in his pockets and eyes looking around wherever he walks. He asks someone, and they say they saw the Captain walking past, up the stairs. Changkyun follows suit and, sure enough, spots him. He’s far away, back turned, but Changkyun recognises him immediately.

There’s a tray with bits of food and a drink half finished. Kihyun sits by the edge of the platform, eyes on the rest of the Dome as people run everywhere to fix things or make checkups on the Jaegers.

From up here, Changkyun can see the whole garage, Jaegers standing tall. It’s quite the view, if not also kind of unsafe. It’s a pretty long fall if one were to misstep.

Changkyun’s legs feel a little wobbly as he walks closer, gives himself away when he gets on all fours and laughs. “I’m behind you, please don’t get a fright and fall off here and die.”

Kihyun doesn’t look, but laughs. “Wouldn't that be quite funny? The world’s end swims around the ocean and I happen to die from an ugly fall.”

“Funny until you account for all my survivor’s guilt,” Changkyun jokes, approaches and plops to his stomach to peek over the edge. “You’re not here to jump, are you? Better not. I’ll kill you myself.”

“Aw, you’d miss me,” Kihyun teases, reaches for the bit of bread over his tray and throws it into his mouth. “Just didn’t feel like socializing, that’s all.”

“With anyone in particular?” Changkyun asks, decides to stay in this position. Feels safer. “Just trying to figure out if I should be mildly offended and then leopard-crawl backwards and away…”

Kihyun rolls his eyes and smiles. “One of the downsides of Drifting with you is that when we don’t Drift I kinda miss having you in my brain.” He snorts. “Is that weird? I don’t know…”

“That…” Changkyun pouts. “Might be the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

Kihyun shrugs, reaches for his cup. “You’re an interesting person, what can I say.”

“Ditto, though,” Changkyun says, continues peeking over. He’s gotten better at this whole contact lens bullshit. Still takes a while, though, but at least he doesn’t have to worry about his glasses falling to their death. “Came to look for you and all…”

“Cute,” Kihyun says and then sighs. “Don’t let it get to your head. You still annoy me to bits.” He smiles a little when he says that, though.

“I don’t believe you,” Changkyun sing-songs and laughs. “Nah. I annoy me, too, sometimes. You only have to be in my head every now and then. I’m _always_ in there, man.”

Kihyun laughs, looks at his mug. The way one of his legs is just dangerously hanging from the edge makes Changkyun’s stomach turn a little. “Busy today?” Kihyun asks casually.

“Yeah, I need to--” Changkyun keeps staring at the leg. “Complete the diagnostics for the shield installations and--can you _please_ move back a little…”

Kihyun grins and swings his leg back and forward. “Why? Worried I’ll fall?”

“Eek!” Changkyun says, moves to grip at Kihyun, arms around his waist. “Don’t do that!”

“Alright, alright,” Kihyun laughs, pushes himself back and crosses his legs. He looks down at Changkyun. “Happy?”

Changkyun doesn’t let go. “A bit. S’better…” Changkyun frowns a little though, turns to look at the view. “You okay, though? I know this isn’t easy for you.”

“What isn’t,” Kihyun chuckles, lets his forearm fall over Changkyun’s head like he’s an armrest. “Having you use me as your personal teddy bear, standing on the edge or..?”

Changkyun rolls his eyes. “All of it, I guess… Blegh, I don’t know. Woke up feeling funny. Maybe I’m projecting. Then again, you’re eating here instead of in the cafeteria so…”

“Sorry,” Kihyun mumbles, ruffles Changkyun’s hair a little, “Didn’t mean to worry you…”

Changkyun copies one of Kihyun’s habits, turns his face to him and sticks out his tongue.

Kihyun snorts a laugh, shakes his head. “Back right at ya… Idiot.” He sighs then, though, and Changkyun recognizes that distant expression. “It’s… complicated. I don’t know if I can explain it…”

Changkyun moves a little, so his chin is resting on Kihyun’s leg. “You were almost Nate’s partner. Now you’re not. If I were you I’d be… I don’t know. Not worried? Just… considering the could have beens. I don’t know. Think about it in the Drift and I’ll get it,” Changkyun teases.

“That’s just the thing, isn’t it..?” Kihyun mumbles, cards his fingers through Changkyun’s hair which makes Changkyun’s head spin a little. “I have a few years of experience. I’ve met tons of different soldiers. But there’s this… type. I wasn’t sure at first, but after we tested, just that tiny bit into the Neural Handshake and I could tell…” Kihyun looks at his hand on Changkyun’s hair. “I told you… He doesn’t inspire trust. And I don’t mean in the sense you might think, just… Out there? Not the kind of person I’d want watching my back. He just… gives me this antsy feeling… I don’t know, Kyunie… I just don’t know. But I know that he’s that type… The type who just leaves and…”

_Doesn’t come back._

The words echo in Changkyun’s head but they have Kihyun’s voice. Like a whisper of something left unsaid.

“Yeah,” Changkyun just says. It doesn’t need saying, just understanding. “I know how important it is to feel safe with the person you’re with even if everything outside is literally as unsafe as it can get…”

Kihyun’s eyes shift and lock with Changkyun’s. “Yeah… Hoseok always said this war would suck without the Drift. I kinda get it, now.”

Changkyun smiles, and as always, it feels safe.

“Hey, Ki?”

“Hm…”

“Are you done with that?” Changkyun asks, pointing at his tray of food. “Kinda just walked out of the cafeteria without anything…”

Kihyun blinks at the food and then frowns at Changkyun. “You better start eating before I have to force feed you, you asshole! At least grab an apple!”

“No fair, you barely ate yesterday!”

“I’m not the brain here!” Kihyun grumbles, grabs the untouched bagel on the tray and shoves it into Changkyun’s mouth.

Changkyun frowns indignantly, but stops when he starts chewing. Oh, this is good… “Thanks,” he says around a mouth of food.

“Told you before,” Kihyun grumbles and looks away, looks forward. “If you wither and die, that’s on me, too.”

“And that,” Changkyun says around the bagel, squeezes the arms around Kihyun’s waist. “Is why you’re my teddy bear.”

“That makes no sense whatsoever,” Kihyun deadpans.

“Can’t survive without mah cuddles.”

Kihyun rolls his eyes but Changkyun notes the little smile. “Didn’t I tell you to get a girlfriend for that?”

“Been there, tried that,” Changkyun mumbles.

“There, there,” Kihyun laughs, pats at Changkyun’s head. “Maybe next time will go better.”

  
  
  
  


The coastline, entirely barren. The grey rock beaches that lead up to rocky cliffs with no vegetation to be seen. Behind him, a city full of light. In front of him, the horizon, the line at the edge curving just enough, visible from all the way up where Kihyun sits--an abandoned hangar at the top of the dome.

He likes coming here sometimes. It calms him down. And, at the same time, reminds him of the uncertainty that is out there. The ocean of rock, an expanse of welcoming grey and brown, feels grounding, safe. And the blue just ahead feels treacherous, like it hides secrets, like it hides danger. Because that’s thing, sometimes, the most beautiful things are the most dangerous ones. And, sure. The ocean is beautiful. But it’s where monsters come from.

So, when the siren sounds, echoes all the way across the bay, Kihyun just sighs, looks up at the sun and hopes, somehow, that it will be easy. That it will be fast. Because last time, those fifteen minutes they spent fighting that thing felt like fifteen hours. So, he hopes.

He hopes...

But the fear travels through his veins the moment he steps into The Bridge and Jooheon turns around and says;

“Category 5, on its way to the coast of Taiwan, sir.”

Kihyun knows how to keep the fear in his veins from making it to his facial muscles or skin. He knows his eyes need to remain steady as if he were just shopping for a new pair of boots. But Changkyun doesn’t. So, when they meet eyes, even if ten steps away from each other, Changkyun’s face reflects Kihyun’s fear like a mirror.

 _It will be fine,_ Kihyun thinks and hopes his own conscience believes him.

“I have the Air Force on the line, sir,” a woman says from next to Jooheon, “They’re ready to drop two Jaegers.”

“We will need more than two,” one of the senior Rangers say.

The General turns to Changkyun. “Is Rogue Fox ready?”

Changkyun nods, hands behind his back holding each other tight but his expression copying that of Kihyun’s. “Installed her shield. Paladin Jinx and Striker One are still undergoing repairs, though…"

“Very well,” the General nods, “Rogue Fox, Tempest Echo and Helion Prime will go.”

“Sir,” Jooheon says suddenly, “I’ve calculated trajectory, it’s headed for Taipei. We won’t be able to intercept it even if we fly the Jaegers in a straight line across the East China Sea. We need people to evacuate _now_.”

The General nods, “Give the order,” and then turns to the Rangers. “Go. You’re up.”

Kihyun takes a deep breath and turns around, walks as if he’s in auto-pilot. He doesn’t want to think about it, that uneasy feeling he’s been having lately. Three Jaegers… That should be enough. Except they were three last time, too, and it was just a Cat 4 Kaiju. This one is a Cat 5. It will be bigger and stronger.

At the entrance to the fitting room, Changkyun pulls a little at Kihyun’s arm, as Dami and Seola walk past. Kihyun just moves away to let them pass, but Changkyun turns him around and hugs him. It’s so fast Kihyun almost doesn’t realise it’s happening before he sees Changkyun pull away and turn to walk.

Kihyun blinks, frowns and… hopes it’s just a bad feeling. A bad feeling he will have to quiet down before he steps into Rogue Fox. Because bad feelings are not wanted in the Drift.

He knows that. He knows that, but…

_But._

This time, the Neural Handshake feels like blinking. And then Kihyun blinks again and the Jaegers are being fitted into the carrier-choppers that will fly them all the way across the sea and drop them near the coast of Taipei.  
  


 

 _“Tempest Echo to boys,”_ Seola says over the intercom, _“I hope y’all come up with a plan soon.”_

 _“Well, if they don’t, I will,”_ Haley teases from Helion Prime.

 _“Approaching drop zone in twenty,”_ one of the chopper pilots says.

“Anyone picking anything up on their sensors, yet?” Changkyun asks, frowning down at the holographic interface on his arm, readying, Kihyun knows, the shielding.

They hear a growl. It sounds almost like a scream. Kihyun can feel Changkyun’s stomach lurch, his heartbeat go up.

 _“Oh, god…”_ Dami says, _“Guys..? It’s entering the city I can see it. It’s… huge.”_

Kihyun frowns and taps over the holographic panel, brings up the A.I. camera and lets it zoom. The image pops on the visor, a greyish monster with four tails breaks through the first line of buildings, towers over them, the spikes on its back glow blue and the ones on its tails are even bigger.

The Kaiju gets up, four of its six legs up and it screams at the sky, the sound is so loud it makes the metal tremble, echoes inside the Conn-pods even though they’re still far away.

Kihyun breathes in. _Focus._ “Front legs look slightly thicker… We should be careful. And those tails,” he glances at Changkyun. “If what Minhyuk told you is true, what with the tails being independent from the main brain, then… This will be troublesome.”

“The belly looks soft,” Changkyun mumbles. _You’re in charge of the reactions. I trust you completely._

“That’s what he said,” Kihyun mumbles, looks at the visor, watches the beast bring down a skyscraper that barely manages to stand up to the creature’s size. He frowns and turns the display off. “Reminds me of a hedgehog… Which means you’re probably right. Usually, spikes like those are a defense, to protect a weakness.” _Although, I’m certain the tails won’t be on the defense..._

“Agility sacrifices toughness,” Changkyun says.

 _“It’s big enough,”_ Nate mutters over the intercom and Kihyun frowns.

“Size isn’t everything,” he says.

 _“Not now, boys,”_ Dami says over the intercom. _“Any ideas for--what are we calling this thing?”_

 _Sonic the Kaiju_.

“Fuck no,” Kihyun grumbles, feels the little pull of gravity when the choppers reduce altitude.

 _“Fuck No seems like a good codename,”_ Jooheon says. _“Moving in…”_

“Sonic the Kaiju--” _Changkyun!_ “Seems to be shooting the spikes like a weapon. Rogue will be on defense,” Changkyun says, pressing buttons on his interface.

“Bring up the two shields, just in case,” Kihyun says.

“Working on it,” Changkyun says.

 _“Shields ready,_ ” Sharon says.

 _“Then that means,”_ Nate starts at the same time the chopper’s pilot says, _“Drop point in three!”_

 _“We’re on the offense,”_ Haley completes.

Kihyun blinks and frowns. “Hey, wait--”

The cables holding the Jaegers to the choppers break loose. Kihyun feels the air leave his lungs when the pull of gravity kicks in and Rogue Fox lands, water barely at her knees. Tempest Echo lands next to them, but Helion Prime uses its thrusters to jump on the ahead, landing on the beach and quickly towering over the wreckage.

 _“We’re going in!”_ Haley says as Helion Prime gives one slow step forward before her pace increases and she’s following into the city.

“Hey!” Kihyun shouts at the intercom, both Rogue Fox and Tempest Echo, finally reaching the coast as they walk. “You can’t go in alone! Do you hear me?”

“Tempest!” Changkyun yells.

 _“On it!”_ the girls yell back.

The creature stops, slowly turns around with what could look like a sardonic smile, if Kaiju could smile. It watches Helion closing in and slowly turns to her, adopting a defying stance, four tails in full display like a warning.

“Hey! I told you to stand down!” Kihyun orders, wills one step a little larger and Changkyun stumbles a little as Rogue Fox picks up the pace and crosses the beach as she starts running, wreckage around them shattering with every heavy step they take.

 _“We got this!”_ Nate says, goes in directly for a punch, and Kihyun can _see_ two of the tails whipping around, one wrapping around Helion Prime’s arm. _Dammit._

The tails tug and throw the Jaeger, and her back hits a building, shattering glass. Helion simply digs her heels into the tarmac and stands up. The right arm comes up, opening on the forearm to have an automatic gun fold out, readying and starting to shoot at the Kaiju. But the Kaiju’s tails come up like a shield, richotting the bullets.

Tempest Echo gets a shot in, electricity flashing across Sonic the Kaiju’s-- _No! Not that_ \--skin, making the Kaiju scream. _Kihyun, your sword!_ Changkyun holds up his left arm, and Kihyun watches as a shield, large enough to cover Rogue Fox’s entire body while crouching, folds out in front of them and the panels fit together like a puzzle as they lock in.

Kihyun taps at the panel and the A.I. display reads, ‘SWORD’. A holographic circle codes itself around Kihyun’s wrist and then an holographic sword builds itself out of under the plating of Rogue’s right arm.

“We gotta cut--” _The tails first--_ Kihyun wants to say as one of the tails whips around and slams its spikes right on top of the shield. The impact is so strong that the ground under one of Rogue’s feet crumbles, gives in, and she stumbles as both Kihyun and Changkyun try to maintain stability.

 _“Got it!”_ Nate shouts, the right arm shooting, still, at the Kaiju as Helion’s left hand makes to grab at the base of the tail. Changkyun’s eyes widen, at the bright blue veins that curls up the tails.

“Blue blood,” he tries, “Watch it--!”

Nate screams, as the Kaiju’s tail burns at Helion Prime’s hand. Rogue’s scan of Helion’s internal readings flaring up as acid corrodes the metal.

 _Those neural pathways are probably frying,_ Kihyun thinks.

 _We need to get closer--_ Changkyun groans as he pushes forward before Kihyun can follow the movement-- _now!_

Tempest Echo’s whip manages to tangle around one of the tails and pull at the Kaiju as it screams, the other tails clinging to Helion as they bleed onto the plating.

Rogue Fox stumbles as Kihyun side steps, makes to run around the Kaiju, towards the front, sword withdrawing as Rogue’s fist locks. The hologram around Changkyun’s right hand changes, too, as the elbow torpedo fires up and Rogue strikes a punch over the Kaiju’s head, ricochets back and then engages one second time.

The Kaiju shakes its head a little, tails shivering and coiling away before the thing shrieks and wipes around, blue spikes strike in every which direction. They hit Rogue Fox’s elbow, Tempest Echo’s chest and miss on Helion as she manages to shoot a few plasma shots.

“If it’s bleeding,” Changkyun says. “Which means it’s not impervious, your sword will cut through. If I distract the tails--”

 _“Us, too,”_ Seola says.

“Can you cut them?”

The whip Tempest swings around contracts and then expands in a serrated whip. _“Yes, we can,”_ Dami and Seola say at the same time.

Kihyun shakes his arm a little as the hologram changes again, the armor plating at the arm retracts and the plasma cannon comes out. “I’m faster with a a gun,” he says, eyes on the Kaiju that quickly tries to wiggle itself between two tall buildings and brings them both down to cover the passage.

 _“It’s hiding?”_ Dami asks.

 _Kaiju don’t hide…_ Kihyun thinks, frowns.

“Surprise attack,” Changkyun says. “Keep your eyes out.”

“Switch to thermo,” Kihyun says, keeps looking around as Rogue backsteps. “Kyun, I don’t have the plating on while shooting…” He looks at Changkyun. “You’re gonna have to cover me."

“I will,” Changkyun nods, and there’s a growl that shakes the ground before the Kaiju jumps out, a tail piercing the armor at Helion Prime’s waist.

 _“Shit!”_ Haley screams _. “Right leg maneuverability at thirty percent!”_

The Kaiju practically dives onto a building, makes it collapse in on itself as it hides. Kihyun looks at the map. _It’s moving too fast._ And just as he thinks it, by the corner of his eye he sees the windows of a building shake. He steps back, breath catching.

“On my right!” He shouts, turning just enough to allow Changkyun the rest of the movement, shield coming up as a few spikes catch on it, two tails coming in below to sweep the Jaeger’s legs. They jump just in time, thrusters quickly compensating as Rogue Fox comes down to a crouch and Changkyun screams with him as they put all their energy into pushing the Kaiju off of the shield.

Tempest Echo comes in from behind the Kaiju, whip latching onto its neck as she pulls. The creature screeches, squirms, eyes wide and right on Rogue’s visor, but then two tails catch onto the whip even as they bleed and break it in two, spikes quickly shooting and striking Tempest on every single mechanism joint.

Kihyun feels a tingling feeling on one of his legs that he knows it’s not his own. They use all their strength to shove at the Kaiju, quickly stepping back when it stumbles, and Kihyun shoots at it even as it adopts a defensive position to cover its underbelly.

“You okay?” Kihyun asks, doesn’t look because if he does that thing will probably jump at them.

 _Don’t worry about me right now_ . Changkyun nods, though, eyes darting around on the sensors when the Kaiju digs down, fast-- _No wonder it’s got those front legs._ And then starts wiggling between buildings, in and out, in and out of sight.

Kihyun feels his heart beating in his ears, sweat making the helmet feel uncomfortable. He steps back as he looks around. “Tempest, you okay?”

 _“We’re good,”_ Dami says, sounds like she’s panting. “It hit a lot of our joints, we can barely move…”

“Run a diagnosis and see what you’ve got,” Kihyun says, makes Rogue turn towards a building nearby. He frowns. “It’s using the buildings as coverage. I’m starting to think our own cities are our own disadvantage.” He takes a deep breath. _Focus._

“If it uses the buildings for coverage, so can we,” Changkyun says. “Tempest, you’re small. It seems to attack within its range of sight, so make yourselves small and attack when it’s distracted.”

 _“Got it,”_ Seola says.

 _“I have an idea,”_ Nate says, suddenly as Helion struggles to get up from under the wrecked building.

“No, you don’t,” Kihyun says, keeps looking around and frowns at the tall building that completely towers over Helion. “Stay down, that’s an order!”

The Kaiju roars again, stands up onto its back legs--”There’s an opening!” Nate calls out.

 _‘Within its range of sight’_ Kihyun remembers and his heart picks up. “No, no wait! Na--”

As soon as Helion stands up, eye to eye with the Kaiju, it growls in a bass tone that both Changkyun and Kihyun feel inside their chest. It jumps just as Helion strikes low. It jumps right at Helion’s head.

Everything seems to happen in slow motion. Kihyun feels his eyes widen. Changkyun opens his mouth to say something but is quieted by the sinking feeling he knows is not his own. Seola shouts at the intercom. And the Kaiju opens its mouth around the Conn-pod, shark-like teeth sinking into metal and then chomping it off as it explodes.

 _“Oh, god,”_ Seola breathes, and Helion Prime crumbles like a puppet with its strings cut, falling to its knees as sparks fly. The core whirs for another moment, before it quiets down, and the entire Jaeger sinks to the ground.

 _“Guys! What the hell is going on?!”_ Jooheon shouts over the intercom. _“Helion’s vitals are offline!”_

 _“They’re gone,_ ” Dami says, oddly calm. Purposefully calm, even.

Changkyun blinks, something rolls behind his eyes. His heart feels like a heavy rock in his chest as he watches the Kaiju rip the Jaeger apart like some sort of wicked revenge. It digs at her, bites metal off and growls.

 _“Wait…”_ Jooheon breathes. _“Shit, Rogue Fox? Kihyun! You’re off! You’re out!”_ Jooheon shouts. _“Kyun! He’s chasing it, the R.A.B.I.T.”_

 _“Pilot out of Alignment.”’_ Sharon says.  


  


 

Changkyun’s mind feels like an avalanche descending, and Kihyun is frozen somewhere under the ice.

“Kihyun!” Changkyun yells, and it echoes. His arms and legs seem to weight, like he’s carrying two people, a sharp pain at the back of his head. He knows what’s happening. There’s no _time_ for that--“Manually override the Helion!” Changkyun yells, feels warmth drip down into his mouth. Blood. It tastes like iron, makes his stomach turn.

 _“On it! Brace for a core collapse!”_ Jooheon says.

 _“Neural Bridge collapsed. Pilot out of alignment,”_ the A.I. keeps echoing in their Conn-pod.

A bright flash of life, the Helion self-destructing underneath the Kaiju as Changkyun screams, moves the Jaeger-- _on his own, it hurts, he can’t--_ to crouch behind the shield and hold them steady.

He blinks and it feels like being pulled into a blackhole.

_“Oh, wow,” Kihyun says as he looks around. They’re on a cruise ship, a tourist ship. The water sparkles in a deep blue, tall buildings on each side. And Kihyun, seven years younger, face a lot brighter and soft, watches everything with wide eyes. “When you told me the bay was huge, I didn’t think it would be this big!”_

_A young man laughs nearby. “Everything in Tokyo is big.”_

_Kihyun snorts, looks over his shoulder and grins, “Is that a joke? I feel like that’s supposed to be a joke.”_

_“Well, what can I say,” the young man laughs, a dog tag catches light under the bright sunlight. It reads ‘Ito Takashi’. He steps closer, puts his arms around Kihyun’s waist and rests his chin over Kihyun’s shoulder. He’s not taller than Kihyun. “Soon enough, I’ll be protecting that wall.” Takashi says, nods at the big anti-Kaiju wall just after the big bridge that crosses the bay, connects one side to the other. “And you’ll cheer me on.”_

_“Cheer you on?” Kihyun scoffs. “That’s like celebrating birthdays. ‘Hey, congrats, you’re one year closer to your death’. It’s stupid.”_

_“It’s an honor, Ki,” Takashi mumbles. “I hope one day you’ll see that, too.”_

_Kihyun pouts. “Doubt so…” And under his breath he mumbles something Changkyun recognizes, said oh, so many days ago with his own voice, “All Rangers do is die…”_

Changkyun knows he’s not there, not really. But it smells like seasalt, and he swears he can feel the boat shifting under his feet. There’s two dog tags around his neck, one old, one exactly seven years old, and two men standing in front of him. And this is the day--”Kihyun!” Changkyun shouts, but it just echoes, like he’s underwater and Kihyun on the edge of the bank. He swears he sees Kihyun frown a little, but if he does hear anything, he shrugs it off. _Shit_ . _A minute in here is a second out there and I don’t know how long--_

Everything flashes, a few things repeat, a few voices echo inside Changkyun’s head. And then, again, it’s like being sucked into a black hole.

_“When is this thing turning back?” Kihyun asks, crosses his arms over the railing and watches the water splash against the bow of the ship. “I’m starting to get hungry.”_

_“You have to wait till we get home, Ki,” Takashi sighs. “My mother is cooking. She hates it when you just nibble at the food.”_

_Kihyun smiles a little, rolls his eyes fondly. “She wants to fatten me up.” He looks down at the water and frowns when it bubbles a little._

_“That’s what mothers do!” Takashi laughs, elbows Kihyun a little and crosses his arms over the railing next to him. “We need you strong to pass the CSIS exam.”_

_Kihyun laughs, bumps his head on Takashi’s shoulder and then kisses it quickly, glances up, “You know it’s a written test, right? Written!”_

_“Yeah, well, I--” Takashi stops, the sound of F-20 Air Force planes soaring before diving quickly and flying over the wall. The sound is deafening. And, quickly, a few more airplanes speed by, make everything shake as they break the barrier of sound._

_Kihyun straightens up, frowns at the wall and glances at Takashi and then down at the water that keeps bubbling every now and then._

_There’s a screech-like sound and then a loud growl. An explosion on the other side of the wall and then water, water that should be meters and meters down, spilling over._

_Both Kihyun and Takashi step away from the railing. Kihyun’s eyes wide._

_“I’m going to warn the Captain.”_

_Kihyun blinks, frowns, barely reaches out and misses to catch Takashi’s hand, “Wai--” His eyes are still on the wall when something loud thumps._

_Three seconds. Kihyun’s hand is still slightly outstretched, skin clean where today there’s ink._

_And the wall breaks and something big, massive comes through._

From the ground, from all the way down here, it’s so much worse. There’s no steel keeping it out, keeping the fear in. It’s just a monster, a hurricane approaching.

“Kihyun!” Changkyun tries again, that sharp stab of pain at the back of his head, and it echoes less, but it barely matters when everyone’s screaming.

_The Kaiju breaks through, splits the bridge in half, and they’re on a ship in the middle of the bay. Sitting ducks. Completely helpless._

_People scream in the distance, so loud, so many of them… And Kihyun can hear them. Even among the screams of those right behind him, running towards the end of the boat as it starts turning around fast._

_But not fast enough, Kihyun knows._

_That thing is coming and they’re in the way. But jumping will do them no good. They’ll drown once the Kaiju is closer. So, Kihyun stops a few people from jumping, because that’s certain death. But he’s just one man and there are so many that want to abandon ship._

_He stops a lady with a baby in her arms and then tries to reach for a man that jumps into the water just as a wave crashes onto the ship and makes him go under._

_And then, when the Kaiju screams, choppers. Propellers loud even over the sounds of destruction._

_When Kihyun glances up, he sees them. Jaegers. One drops near the city and the other just a few kilometers away from their ship. It makes the water ripple in massive waves that threaten to turn the ship upside down._

_Kihyun quickly stumbles as he tries to look around, searches for Takashi. And he finds him among the crowd, guiding an old lady inside._

_There’s a shriek that makes everyone cover their ears and then the metallic music of hydraulic muscle strands move. Kihyun tries to get closer to the other side of the ship but stumbles every time he gets up and the waves rock the ship around._

_A loud impact and another shriek as the Kaiju clashes against the Jaeger, takes it back, makes it step back._

_Kihyun looks up, sees Takashi and Takashi looks back at him. And then nothing._

_The Jaeger tramples over half of the ship, sends the other half away in a ‘tidal’ wave as the Kaiju forces the Jaeger down to one knee. The ship hits another ship, people get thrown away and Kihyun falls against the railing, his own dog tag slipping out of his shirt._

_The ship crashes atop a smaller boat near dryland, people scream at the impact and Kihyun just holds onto the railing, watches his dog tag hang and swing around._

_The Jaeger manages to send the Kaiju back, blades quickly diving for its head when it falls down. And the other Jaeger quickly joins the fight._

Changkyun feels the pain in his chest as if its his own. The loss. The sudden empty feeling that will linger for years to come. Uselessness.

“Kihyun,” Changkyun tries again, walking forward, reaching out. He looks so young. “You’re getting lost in the memory, please--”

_Another loud scream. Kihyun’s head whips around to look, as if on instinct. The Kaiju falls, crushing buildings in its wake._

“Kihyun! Oh, god, please hear me. I need you right now, _please_.”

The intercom beeps and Jooheon’s voice sounds, _“Kyun! I’m trying to disconnect him, but he’s in too deep. You’re gonna have to do it on your own and fast! If you don’t connect him fast enough he might not come back at all.”_

Changkyun’s heart squeezes tight in his chest, and when he reaches out to Kihyun in the memory, his grip is tight. He knows Kihyun is chasing the R.A.B.I.T., so Changkyun finds their own bond, like a lifeline out to sea, and tugs. “I need you, Ki, _please_.”

_Eyes much younger, much more afraid than Changkyun remembers, look at Changkyun as if looking past him. A scream in the distance makes Kihyun startle and he wants to look back._

Changkyun feels relief, for an instant. _He can hear me_.

“Remember me,” Changkyun urges. “Find that memory, of that idiot asshole that said all the wrong things. Come _back_ to me, Kihyun.”

_Explosions in the middle of the bay, the flash of a plasma gun going off, and Kihyun startles again, looks at the fight, starts stepping back when the water recedes._

And then it flashes, everything flashes.

_A box among Takashi’s belongings. Something they managed to get back. Something they gave Takashi’s mother; a dog tag she offered Kihyun._

_“You go out there,” she says, eyes red, hands gripping at Kihyun’s shoulders, “And you avenge my son.”_

And it flashes again.

 _“We can’t hold it back much longer!”_ Seola yells.

Changkyun’s head wants to split itself in two with the effort it takes to lift the plasma cannon (with Kihyun’s arm) and fire off a shot, hits the Kaiju and it lets go of its grip on Tempest Echo.

“Aah!” he screams at another sharp pain. Everything’s a little fuzzy, and the interface on his arm swims in front of his eyes. Something hot runs out of his nose. Blood.

‘ _MANUAL DISCONNECT - AUTHORIZED’_.

Kihyun gasps a little next to him, as if for breath, and when Changkyun connects him again, the avalanche is back. He stumbles, and in Kihyun’s memory, hazy at the edges where Kihyun is clear, he grips at him by the shoulders, pulls him closer and holds on with his forehead against Kihyun’s.

“Come back to me,” Changkyun whispers, desperate. He pulls the dog tags out of his shirt, over their heads. “I won’t make it without you, Ki. You promised…”

In the memory, everything sounds muffled. But Kihyun looks down at the dog tags and then up at Changkyun, eyes so scared they barely look like his.

And then, like a movie rolling too fast, everything collapses.

 _“Neural Handshake Initiated,”_ the A.I. says, _“Pilot to pilot connection reestablished.”_

Rogue Fox shakes like it just had a convulsion. Changkyun feels his brain scatter, more blood run down his nose and into his mouth. But Kihyun breathes next to him, heavily, eyes wide and on Tempest Echo right in front of them, shooting everything she’s got at the Kaiju to keep it distracted as it tries to squirm closer, past the avalanche of shots.

“We have to--” Changkyun pants, tastes iron on his tongue. “The tails--”

“I know,” Kihyun says lowly, a little out of breath. The hologram on his arm shifts and Changkyun feels his own right arm move, his right leg give a strong step forward as it builds pressure for the next jump.

Rogue Fox lurches forward just as Tempest Echo runs out of ammo. The Kaiju turns to Rogue front leg quickly rising up for a strike, but Kihyun points at the leg sustaining the Kaiju’s weight, shoots and makes it stumble.

Two tails quickly whip forward-- _Take the one on the left!_ Kihyun thinks as he shoots at the one that swings right, the tip of the tail separating from the tail as it coils.

Changkyun brings the shield up, but instead of blocking, he slashes with the razor sharp sides, and the Kaiju screams and blue blood sizzles on the shield, a heavy, loud thud as a tail falls to the ground.

“Unlock torque!” Kihyun shouts.

 _“Torque, unlocked,”_ Sharon, the A.I. says.

Rogue’s upper body rotates a little, suddenly, as if weight pulled it left. And when a tail whips at them, Kihyun raises his arm, shoots it and the force of the recoil makes the upper body of the Jaeger spin around, fast, just in time for Changkyun to defend against the final tail. It bounces off the shield and Kihyun shoots it, too, right between the spikes as it blows up.

“Tempest, the stomach,” Changkyun says, and they watch as the smaller Jaeger manages to tackle the Kaiju, a hand around its neck as the other stabs into its stomach, as it screams and thrashes.

Kihyun still points at it, though and mumbles, “Empty clip,” and Rogue shoots ten times at the dead creature before the cannon overheats.

Changkyun vaguely remembers the words ‘ _Disconnecting_ ’ before the world spins and creeps in black.  
  
Kihyun catches him, though, because of course he does.

 

 

“Wake up sleeping beauty,” a voice sounds in the distance. It makes Changkyun’s head pound. His limbs don’t feel connected to his body, far heavier than usual. He opens his eyes just a little, and the light hurts.

“S’too bright in here,” Changkyun grumbles, tries to find his arm. It flops a bit uselessly next to him, and he just scrunches his eyes closed. “Where am I, where’s Ki…”

“You’re in the Medical Bay, my dude,” Jooheon-- _right, that’s who it is_ \--says. “And worry about yourself first, alright? You fainted on us. Passed out for six hours.”

“What?” Changkyun croaks, feels himself frown. The light still hurts when he opens his eyes so he just squints at Jooheon. “What--what happened?”

“Well,” Jooheon sighs. “Tempest took the killing blow. You killed it… Job done.” He clears his throat and his eyes go down, his voice lowers when he says, “Nate and Haley… I guess they’ll be on the wall downstairs, now.”

 _They died. And Kihyun got lost. Changkyun piloted alone. It hurt so much_.

“Shit,” Changkyun manages. His throat hurts, his head throbs, but he sits up, or, at least, try to. “I… I need to…”

“You need to rest,” Jooheon grumbles. “Dude, you piloted a Jaeger _on your own_. You know that’s impossible, right? You could’ve… died, man…”

Changkyun flops back down. The world is dark, then, for a minute as he stares up at a bright white ceiling. “Had to, didn’t have a choice…”

“Yeah, well…” Jooheon sighs. “I’m… glad you’re okay…” There’s a hand on Changkyun’s wrist. “Seriously, dude… For a moment we thought you were all just… Nevermind.”

“Yeah, me too,” Changkyun mumbles, eyes falling shut again on their own accord. His brain hurts. “Is everyone else okay?”

“Yeah,” Jooheon’s voice sounds a little raspy so he clears his throat. “Dami and Seola are fine. Minor scratches. The Captain was here for a check up and then the General came to collect him. Probably getting the biggest dressing down of his life, right now.” Jooheon scoffs. “Seriously, the General was… I don’t know. A mix of worried shitless and angry?”

Changkyun had thought the death of a Kaiju would get rid of the uneasy feeling in his chest, but it’s still there, he feels it bleeding through Jooheon’s words. “I know what he’s thinking,” Changkyun says. “Shownu, I mean… Shit, I seriously need to… Ugh, can my body just work with me, here!”

“Hey, hey,” Jooheon pushes Changkyun down. “You stay right there.”

Changkyun squints his eyes open to glare. “Jooheon, I almost died; either from my brain turning to lasagna or from losing a partner, but just because my pain is physical doesn’t mean it’s more important. I need to check up on my goddamn co-pilot!”

Jooheon groans, throws himself back over his chair. “Y’all being reckless and I just worry and worry and worry…” He grumbles.

“Jooheon…” Changkyun breathes. “ _Please_.”

“Fine!” Joohon throws his hands up. “I’ll help you. But if you fall on the floor, I’ll leave you there to rethink your entire life, dude!”

Changkyun scoffs, sits himself up again. It’s still heavy, but he’s not shaking anymore. “That’s your idea of helping?”

“Someone,” Jooheon pokes Changkyun’s forehead and then helps him stand up, “Needs to knock some sense into y’all’s brains.”

“Don’t be mean to me,” Changkyun pouts. “I’ll rest, I swear, I just…” _Need to know he’s okay, and help him if he’s not_.

Jooheon rolls his eyes, pulls Changkyun’s arm over his shoulder and holds him close as they carefully try to sneak out o the Med Bay. “Just so you know,” Jooheon mumbles, “Don’t forget who you’re dealing with, dude. The General might be your friend but he’s still Kihyun’s superior officer.”

“Yeah?” Changkyun scoffs, leans a little of his weight on Jooheon. “And?”

“Ugh,” Jooheon peeks out into the corridor, probably sees no one and then drags Changkyun with him towards the elevators. “You’re so fucking reckless.”

The way to the offices is almost empty. But the few people that look at them bow their heads at Changkyun even though they barely smile. They reach the door of Shownu’s office and Changkyun gives Jooheon a small pat on the arm, a “Thanks, dude,” and walks in.

Shownu shuts up mid-sentence, eyes wide and on Changkyun. And when Kihyun looks over his shoulder his eyes soften just a little before he looks front again. He looks so much smaller in just a t-shirt and sweatpants.

“Oh, don’t mind me,” Changkyun says, having to hold onto Kihyun’s chair before plopping down into the one next to him. “Continue.”

“Why are you here?” Shownu asks, eyes sharp despite the soft tone. “You should be resting.”

“Just slept for six hours, I’m stretching my legs,” Changkyun says, eyes a little narrowed before looking at Kihyun. He’s out of uniform, which is a really, _really_ bad sign.

“How long?” Kihyun asks, pokes at the armchair and then scratches at it with a short nail.

Shownu looks at him and then down. “A month. And then, if you want, you can test again. But for now? Out of duty.”

Changkyun takes a deep breath. _Don’t get angry._

“I’m sorry,” Changkyun says. “But I think you may have just misspoke, General.”

Shownu frowns, looks at Changkyun. “Excuse me?”

“I’m sure I don’t have to point out,” Changkyun says, voice even. “That a Jaeger needs _two_ pilots…”

“That is correct,” Shownu says, looks down. “Which is why the Marshal ordered you to test with a few candidates.”

Kihyun looks up at that but says nothing, just blinks.

“I don’t see how that’s necessary,” Changkyun says. “What with me already _having_ a co-pilot.”

“A co-pilot that almost got you killed,” Shownu says, looks at Kihyun. “And he knows this. But we can’t afford to have Rogue Fox stationed for a whole month. And you,” Shownu looks at Changkyun again, “Whether you want it or not, are a really good pilot.”

“With him!” Changkyun defends, voice a little louder than he intended. “I’d be dead anyway if it wasn’t for him!”

“He,” Shownu raises his voice, “Is emotionally compromised. And until he can get over himself, he won’t set foot in a Jaeger.”

“Well, then, I’m emotionally compromised, too!” Changkyun takes a breath. “I didn’t sign up to be a fucking pilot, Shownu, I agreed to be _his_ co-pilot. That’s it.”

Shownu rolls his eyes, “Drifting isn’t marriage, Changkyun. He’s grounded for a month. And in the span of a month we will need Rogue Fox probably more than once. If Kihyun passes the tests after a month and gets a clear from our Psychologists, you’ll have your co-pilot back. But until then, we need you out there as well as in here.”

Changkyun looks at Kihyun with near desperate eyes. _Why aren’t you saying anything!?_

“I get it,” Kihyun says, sighs and looks at Shownu. “Permission to be dismissed?”

“Permission granted,” Shownu says, looks away.

“You cannot force me to go out there, Shownu,” Changkyun says, chest in absolute goddamn disarray. “And I’m still not a soldier, so you can’t order me too, either.”

“I am still an official of the law,” Shownu says. “And you are a citizen. So, yes, Changkyun, I can order you around. I’m just sorry that I have to.” He gets up. “Now leave. The both of you. I… have work to do.”

Changkyun gets up, too, so fast his head spins and he has to hold onto the chair. “If you send me out there with someone else, I’ll be dead before a month’s passed, you know that, right?”

“We will all die if you don’t…” Shownu mumbles.

Kihyun bows his head a little and gets up, turns to walk away.

Changkyun looks between the two of them, a road split in two. He turns to leave with Kihyun, though, stumbles as he makes to catch up. Changkyun’s still angry. He knows he is, because his chest is unpleasantly warm, his jaw a little set.

So, he snaps; “Why the _hell_ were you so damn quiet in there?”

Kihyun stops in front of the elevator, clicks the up arrow and looks down. “Because it’s my job. And this is an order from above.”

“They can’t just play with our lives like this, Kihyun, it’s not _fair_ \--”

Kihyun scoffs a laugh, shakes his head a little. “When is it ever?” The doors open and he walks in, clicks all the buttons on the display. “Life is never fair… Not in this world, it isn’t.”

“So you’re just accepting it?” Changkyun asks, walking in as well, leaning his weight against the elevator wall. “I don’t understand, I thought you wanted to fight these things.”

“I do!” Kihyun says, loud, looks at Changkyun with eyes that look a little desperate before he manages to blink it away. “I do… But… They’re right. I knew shit wasn’t right. And I thought I could control it but then it just--” He stumbles back a little. “It exploded in my face, okay? And They’re right. I almost got you killed. All of you.”

Changkyun sighs a little, winces at the headache still present in the back of his head. “I know. I know, okay, I realise I sound unreasonable and selfish but I--I just don’t know if I can go out there without you…”

Kihyun lets himself stumble back towards the elevator wall and the doors open. No one gets in or out and they close again.

“You’re not ‘without’ me, though,” Kihyun mumbles. “I’m right there,” he says, raises his arm and points at Changkyun’s head.

Changkyun’s features crumble just a little. “It’s not the same…”

“I know…” Kihyun mumbles, glances away. But the finger he’s pointing up curls in and he opens his hand. The doors open and close and Kihyun says, “Come here…”

Changkyun’s bottom lip trembles a little and he moves forward, feels so damn heavy in Kihyun’s arms. There’s a hand that reaches for the back of Changkyun’s head to pull him closer, fingers in his hair as Kihyun bumps his forehead against Changkyun’s, fists his other hand over Changkyun’s chest, against the dog tags under his shirt.

“You’ll be fine,” Kihyun says, grips at Changkyun’s hair and shakes his head a little, “You hear me? You gotta give me these back,” he says, taps his fist over the dog tags. “So, you’ll be fine. I’ll be watching and I’ll kick your sorry ass through the floor if you forget to duck.”

Changkyun laughs a little, nods softly. “I’ll let you…”

Kihyun scoffs a laugh and nuzzles in, rubs their noses together. And when he says, “Idiot,” Changkyun feels Kihyun’s breath on his lips. “I’m serious, though,” Kihyun says, letting go and leaning back against the wall again. “I’ll kick you. And you’ll hate it. So, if you _have_ to go out there, kick some ass for me, too.”

And when the doors open again, Kihyun leans in, kisses Changkyun’s forehead and walks out.

Changkyun watches him go, and his chest wants to collapse in on itself. He lets the doors close, leans against the wall and presses the button to go back to the medbay. He needs… painkillers. A lot of them. And his clothes. So, that’s what he gets.

He gets a few looks, too, and the doctor insists on a full-body check-up, asks way too many questions, before prescribing Changkyun a lot of ‘rest’.

“I plan on it, doc,” Changkyun mumbles, nods his head a little and slowly makes his way back to his room. He’s worried about a hundred things at once. What new partner he’ll be getting, if anyone will even be compatible with him, if he’ll just… die once he steps out there in a Conn-Pod with someone he doesn’t feel safe with. He keeps remembering how _big_ that Kaiju had looked breaking through that wall. The feeling in Kihyun’s chest when Takashi vanished. It’s a lot. And it’s easy for it to become too much, and Changkyun worries that with Kihyun, it might be.

Changkyun walks into the room--their room, doesn’t matter if Shownu throws him into a Jaeger with someone else, this is theirs, goddammit--and hears the shower running. He throws the pills onto his bed and groans a little. But still, he’s worried. Connected or no, it feels like if Kihyun’s upset, Changkyun’s upset.

He glances at the bathroom door, and there’s a slit of light shining through the slightly open door. Very, very slightly, but Kihyun… Always closes it. Even if there’s no lock, he always closes it. Changkyun walks closer, and he’s not too sure why. It’s that damn _worry_ , moving his legs on their own accord.

The water keeps going. And going, and going. Changkyun leans on the wall next to the door, and the water just keeps going.

“Kihyun..?” Changkyun asks softly. But no answer comes. “I’m worried…” Nothing. “Say something or I’m coming in there, I’m not kidding…”

“M’okay,” Changkyun hears. It’s soft, barely there.

“Are you lying?”

“I said--” a sob. “Shit. I said I’m fine!”

A little bit of Changkyun’s heart breaks, like ice chipping away. He closes his eyes and takes a small breath. _Worry_. He pushes the door open slowly, and his heart chips away a massive fucking chunk when he sees Kihyun sitting in the shower, naked, head on his knees as his shoulders shake a little in what look like silent sobs.

“You can beat my ass for this later,” Changkyun mumbles,  pulls his shirt over his head. “I needed to take a shower anyway,” and steps out of his pants and underwear. He feels like he should care about being naked, about Kihyun being naked, but he doesn’t. Couldn’t care less. He plops himself down next to Kihyun, hair already clinging to his face. He leans a little into Kihyun, puts an arm around him and pulls him close.

“It’s okay…” he mumbles, hopes he can believe it.

Kihyun barely moves an inch. “I should… be dead.”

 _If he went out there with Nate, he really might be_. Changkyun smooths a hand up and down Kihyun’s arm, squeezes him close to his side. “You’re not, though… But I get it...”

Kihyun raises his head a little and looks at Changkyun, eyes red, eyebrows knitting in a frown. And he’s so beautiful but yet so sad at the same time. If there was a word to describe the feeling it sparks in Changkyun’s chest, it would be ‘crestfallen’.

“I’m sorry…” Kihyun says, eyes searching Changkyun’s face even as they water a little. “I’m sorry I messed up…”

Changkyun frowns, eyes soft as he shakes his head, cards a hand through Kihyun’s wet hair. “It’s okay. I don’t blame you, okay?” Changkyun smiles a little. “You gotta say okay so I know you know it…”

Kihyun nods a little, glances away and then lets his weight fall a little against Changkyun. “Okay…”

Changkyun scratches lightly at Kihyun’s scalp, feels his own eyes water a little. “I’m… I’m gonna fix the Paladin, the Tempest, the rest of ‘em… I’ll only go out if I really, really have to…”

Kihyun sniffles loudly and brings a hand up to rub at his nose. “You’ll have to test, though. They’ll… Probably kick me out of here when you find a compatible pilot.”

“You’re my only ninety-eight,” Changkyun mumbles. “Won’t settle for less…”

Kihyun chokes on a laugh. “Idiot…” He sighs and Changkyun feels Kihyun’s head heavier against him. “Thank you for saving my life…”

Changkyun’s heart chips and chips away. “It’s my job,” Changkyun jokes. He runs his hand through Kihyun’s hair again. It’s a little greasy. He leans a little forward, squeezes some shampoo onto his hand and slowly works it through Kihyun’s hair.

“Is it your job to wash my hair, too?” Kihyun scoffs, sniffles some more. “Told you I’m not your teddy bear.”

“No,” Changkyun sighs. “But you are my best friend…”

Kihyun pauses. It’s like his whole body forgot it needs to breathe, keep a heart beating to function. But then he lets out a breath. “I am?” He asks, looks up at Changkyun with shiny eyes.

“Of course you are… And then you call me an idiot,” Changkyun teases lightly, smiles with a tight heart.

Kihyun blinks, closes his eyes when Changkyun tilts them under the shower to rinse. “I haven’t had one of those in a long time.” Kihyun says and then spits the water that gets into his mouth and makes a “Bleh, tastes like shampoo.”

Changkyun frowns, ruffles the last of the shampoo out of Kihyun’s hair. “What’s the point of strawberry shampoo if it doesn’t taste like strawberries…”

Kihyun shakes his head and sprinkles water into Changkyun’s face. “You’re mine, too, by the way…” He says blinks, lashes sticking together. He looks at his fingers and then holds both hands up. “Look. I’m turning into an old man. Crinkly fingers.”

“Turning old is a luxury,” Changkyun smiles, moves on to the conditioner. “Who’d have thought, huh? Captain Stern and Doctor Asshole…”

“You’d think I’d be an expert on those,” Kihyun scoffs, fumbles as he tries to reach back for the gel. He brings it forward and when he squeezes it a bubble pops out of the bottle.

“Another asshole joke? I’m naked over here, Kihyun,” Changkyun laughs a little, feels the weight in his chest slowly dissipate.

Kihyun frowns at the bottle and keeps squeezing at it until more bubbles fly up and out of it. “Hadn’t noticed the amount of skin…” He says casually.

Changkyun reaches out like they’re butterflies, manages to catch one of the bubbles on the tip of his finger. Never mind being naked, this is _awesome_. Changkyun gapes, moves his finger in front of Kihyun to show him. And Kihyun frowns at the bubble before snapping his fingers on it, making it pop.

He tilts his chin up. “What are you doing now?”

Changkyun pouts at his finger. His bubble-less finger. “Mourning.”

Kihyun points the gel bottle at Changkyun’s face and squeezes it until it spits gel onto his face. “Whoops. That’s nasty…”

Changkyun scrunches his eyes closed, chin back and lips in a line. “This is bullyi-- _Bleh!_ It’s in my mouth!”

Kihyun snorts a laugh and almost flops to the side as he laughs. “Y--Your face!”

Changkyun leans his face forward and into the water to get the gel of his face before shaking his head and leaning back. He glares at Kihyun, picks up the shower pouf, and throws it at Kihyun’s face. “I washed your hair, you asshole!”

Kihyun giggles as he picks up the pouf and pats at Changkyun’s shoulder, “Turn around, idiot.”

Changkyun blinks a little at Kihyun. He’s never heard him laugh like that. So he smiles, turns around. “Oooh, am I gonna get a massage?”

“You wish,” Kihyun snorts. And Changkyun feels the cold gel drip down his back before Kihyun starts using the pouf to wash his back.

Changkyun feels his shoulders relax, lets out a small sigh. “Thinking we might be a little too comfortable around each other,” Changkyun jokes lowly. “Not that I’m complaining…”

“No one is here to judge,” Kihyun mumbles. “But,” he throws the pouf over Changkyun’s shoulder, “Do it yourself, then.”

Changkyun throws the pouf right back. “Stop and I’ll kill you.”

“You can barely defeat me,” Kihyun snorts, starts scrubbing at Changkyun’s back again. “Would love to you see try. To kill me, I mean.”

“Nah,” Changkyun sighs a little. “Just washed your hair. Would be a waste…”

“Hm,” Kihyun sighs. “I was thinking… Since I’m literally off duty and you kinda need to rest… I haven’t watched a movie in a long time… Would you… like to?”

Changkyun smiles, remembers a time not so long ago when he’d asked Kihyun if he wanted to watch a movie, asked if they were friends, and now? “Course I do,” Changkyun says. “One condition, though…”

“Ice cream and teddy bear duty?”

Changkyun laughs a little. “That and you don’t get mad if I fall asleep on you. My brain’s lasagna and Kaiju are swimming in it.”

“Then pick a movie you like… And… tomorrow I’ll tell you if I liked it, too. Though I gotta admit… Yoooooou have terrible taste.”

“Ex _cuse_ me?” Changkyun asks, gapes a little. “What is this _scathing_ insult based on?”

Kihyun snorts. “Lattes, Changkyun. Can’t stand that shit and I have memories imprinted in my brain of you devouring lattes.”

Changkyun groans. “They’re so good! And don’t start cross-categorising. I just called you my best friend, bad time to insult my taste.”

“That’s like… the second thing I was gonna mention. I wouldn’t pick me for a best friend.” Kihyun scoffs. Changkyun feels the pouf reach his lower back and stop there for a moment before Kihyun brings it back up.

“Not really something you can choose, you know.”

“Yeah, well, I’d say I have bad taste, too. But assholes are quite literally my thing. So,” Kihyun pats Changkyun’s back, “You’re doing just fine.”

“Aw, I’m flattered,” Changkyun laughs, rolls his eyes and lies back. It’s a lot of skin, but it’s nice. “Good luck getting me out of here… I’m jelly.”

Kihyun scoffs and Changkyun feels him lean his cheek on his head. “Pretty sure I can just leave you here. Or grab your foot and drag you out.”

“And I don’t doubt you’d do either of those things,” Changkyun says.

Kihyun doesn’t do any of that, though, they just finish cleaning up, both get into their comfiest pajamas and Changkyun towel dries his hair with slits for eyes.

“You don’t…” Changkyun frowns around the room. “Know where my laptop is… I was doing things on it last night…”

“Things,” Kihyun jokes. “Check under your bed. You always throw stuff in there when you’re done.”

“Oh, yeah,” Changkyun hums, plops onto his bed and reaches underneath, and sure enough, “Hah, got it. Look at all this _math_ ,” Changkyun says. “Bye maths,” he adds, closing the tab.

Kihyun sits down at the edge of the bed and then slides back, melts a little against the wall and watches Changkyun poke around the laptop. “A whole month without math inside my head,” Kihyun jokes. “Heaven.”

“Har har, you’ll miss it. The soothing sounds of linear algebra,” Changkyun jokes right back, clicks on the small disk drive of movies he’s got. “Any preference?”

“Whatever you like,” Kihyun mumbles, slides down the wall and leans his head on Changkyun’s shoulder. “I haven’t watched a movie in almost eight years so… I don’t know.”

Changkyun smiles a little, leans his cheek on Kihyun’s head and gives him a short summary of movie plots until Kihyun finds one he likes, only for Changkyun to fall asleep halfway through to the comfort lull of warmth and a beating heart.


	9. Chicken 3.14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doing nothing… That’s something Kihyun can’t fuck up. Doing nothing is like being dead while wasting oxygen.

 

Changkyun feels a bit like a petulant child, with a father who’s mad at him because he doesn’t want to go to school. ‘School’ being these damn compatibility tests. He mopes a little as he gets dressed, mopes all the way through breakfast until Kihyun makes him laugh at something silly, and then mopes again on the way to the training grounds.

He sits against the wall by the entrance, watching the candidates flow on. They’re mostly Korean, Changkyun notices. Higher-ups probably think it helps with compatibility. Changkyun just scoffs a little. He knows better.

When it’s time to prep, though, Changkyun mopes again.

“Don’t wanna,” he grumbles to himself, arms around his legs and chin on his knees with a small pout. “Why don’t they just test these candidates against each other…”

He startles a little when he hears Kihyun say, “‘Cause apparently you’re some sort of hotshot,” _(where the fuck did he come from?!)_ as he suddenly pokes Changkyun’s side, “Boo. Hi. Here to cheer. Or watch you get your ass delivered to you on a plate.”

“Is that what you want, huh?” Changkyun jokes, tries not to smile. “My ass on a plate? You nasty.”

Kihyun shrugs, sits down next to Changkyun and leans against the wall as he eyes the candidates warm up, “At least there’s meat.” He snorts. “Yeah, I have eyes. Sorry about that.”

Changkyun just laughs, though, leans his cheek against Kihyun’s arm as he watches the others as well. “Ah, I don’t mind. I’m self-aware, I know I got a good ass. Hopefully unbruised, still, at the end of the day…” He watches one of the girls do a really long stretch and narrows his eyes at her. “That girl looks pretty tall, actually...”

“Size isn’t everything,” Kihyun says, raises one hand and flicks his fingers at Changkyun’s forehead. “How many times do I need to repeat myself.”

“Pfff,” Changkyun laughs. “Ah, but I think you forget about my weakness for tall girls. And redheads.” Changkyun sighs. “Ah, redheads.”

“Ugh,” Kihyun rolls his eyes. “Keep it out of the Drift at least, so I won’t have to watch the greasy porn film in my head when I’m back in action.”

“Excuse you, it’s all romance in there,” Changkyun says, pokes at his forehead. “Candles, rose petals on the bed,” he sing-songs.

“Yeah, yeah,” Kihyun scoffs, pats Changkyun’s cheek. “Come on, pretty boy. Go take your place. And please don’t make me look bad? If you get your ass kicked, they’ll think I’m just a noob at this. ‘Cause you kicked my ass.”

“Alright,” Changkyun says, pushing himself up. “Gonna do my stretches. Stare to your heart’s content.” Changkyun puts his arms up to stretch into the sky, pop out his butt out on purpose and then immediately flushes when he makes eye-contact with one of the candidates, quickly unpops his butt. He kicks back a little at Kihyun when he laughs at him.

“Okay!” Dami calls out from the other side of the room, sparring stick in one hand and a clipboard in the other. Changkyun knows she spends her time either reading or sparring and is usually in charge of teaching the newer soldiers and candidates how to spar. “Form a line,” Dami says, and the candidates quickly and neatly line up. Changkyun picks up his sparring stick and joins them as well, still doing a few stretches just in case.

He still feels a little uneasy, though. He loosens his fingers by spinning his own sparring stick between them and looks at the candidates. He makes quick eye contact with a few of them, and a pale Korean girl with red tipped hair smiles a little when he does.

“I’ll be keeping count,” Dami says, tips her head towards the matt. “Kyun, you’re up. First candidate, step onto the matt.”

A muscled man with olive-toned skin steps onto the matt and Changkyun’s eyes widen a little. Why does he _already_ feel like he’s gonna get his ass beaten? It doesn’t help that Kihyun is looking over like he _expects_ Changkyun to get his ass beaten.

_Stupid cocky eyebrows…_

The man fights aggressively, and Changkyun manages to block a few attacks before he’s on the ground. And again, and again, and again. _Ugh._

“Next candidate,” Dami announces with a small smile.

Another man walks onto the matt, not much smaller than Changkyun. When they start Changkyun can actually _see_ how clunky his moves are. Changkyun lands three hits, fast, and wins the round. He grins a little over at Kihyun. _That went better_. And Kihyun sticks his tongue out at him.

“Four to one,” Dami announces. “Next candidate!”

Changkyun puffs a small laugh when two girls push a little at each other before the first walks onto the matt. She looks sweet. A black pixie cut and big eyes, a face easy to remember. But when they fight it’s like she’s moving _way_ too damn fast. Changkyun compensates, and attacks, too. But she swipes him off his feet and pins him down, smiles a little and winks before jumping up.

Dami sighs out loud. “Three to one,” she says.

But then Changkyun winks back at the girl, remembers one of the moves Kihyun had used on him, and uses it on her, pinning her down.

“Four to one,” Dami says. “Next candidate.”

Changkyun helps the girl up and it takes very little strength to do so, too. The other girl walks up, the one with the red-tipped hair and the nice smile, and bows a little to Changkyun before taking her stance. When their eyes lock, she grins a little.

Her fighting is offensive, but not as fast as the previous girl, way smoother than the other guy and less aggressive than the first.

Changkyun makes her go down but she gets him down, too. He rolls and manages to evade to counter, but she counters his counter. They find an odd rhythm. It reminds Changkyun of Kihyun; stiff, strict. But unlike Kihyun, this one feels watered down. The same, but much, much less.

“Four to three,” Dami announces, looks between Changkyun and the girl. “I think we have our winner.”

Changkyun pants a little, hands on his thighs. “Thank god,” he breathes and the girl laughs a little.

“Hi,” she says, then, bows her head again just slightly. “My name is Yoohyeon.”

“Changkyun,” he greets back with a small smile, glances back to Kihyun, who’s now standing up, looking back. It feels like Changkyun is… asking permission? Approval? Something in between. But Kihyun just smiles a little.

“You two,” Dami says, points her sparring stick at Yoohyeon and Changkyun. “Report on the Bridge in half an hour. I need to tell Jooheon to prepare the Neural Handshake test.”

“Uh, my teeth are itchy,” Yoohyeon says, rubs a fist over her lips and then glances at Changkyun, who’s raising an amused eyebrow. “It happens when I’m nervous…”

Changkyun laughs a little at that, shakes his head. “Can’t say it happens to me. But I do pick at my lips until they bleed.” He gestures for Yoohyeon to follow him as he makes his way back to Kihyun (his towel and water bottle being there, as well). “If we’re gonna pilot together, you should meet my…” _Your_? “Uhm, Kihyun. My best friend. We piloted before? I also ramble, sorry.”

Kihyun leans away from the wall as they get closer and bows his head politely at Yoohyeon, who does the same. He looks at Changkyun then, though. “For a moment there I thought you were keen on making me look bad.”

Changkyun puts a hand to his chest. “Did you _see_ that guy? He looked like an action hero! A big armed, Wakandan warrior!”

“You could have taken him down in two moves, idiot,” Kihyun grumbles.

Yoohyeon tilts her head. “You say that because you would have done better, I assume.” She smiles when Kihyun raises an eyebrow at her. “Yoohyeon. Me. You,” she points at Kihyun and then at Changkyun, “His Kihyun.”

Kihyun blinks at her for a moment and they hold their gaze for way longer than necessary before he glares at Changkyun. “Told you I’m not a teddy bear.”

Changkyun just points at himself and says, “Me, Tarzan.”

“Oh! Can I be Jane!?” Yoohyeon jumps. “She’s so badass!”

Changkyun blinks back at her, smiles wide. “Yeah, she is! Course you can. Hair’s a bit too Ariel, though.”

Yoohyeon grins and flips her hair over her shoulder. “D’you like it? Freshly dyed.”

“Wanted to make an impression?” Changkyun asks, reaches out to feel the red tips. “Oooh, it’s soft…”

“Eheh,” she winks. “See? Impression made.”

Kihyun scoffs a laugh and shakes his head. “Alright…” He glances at Changkyun. “You’re going to the Bridge now, right?”

“Yep yep,” Changkyun says. “Wanna come with?”

Kihyun smiles small. “Would love to? But I have--” he points around like his finger is a compass needle searching for North and then stops when, most likely, remembers where he needs to go. “Therapy in a few.”

“Ah, right,” Changkyun says, squeezes Kihyun’s shoulder. “Good luck, yeah..?”

“Yeah, well,” Kihyun shrugs. “They give me free chocolate. It’s worth it.”

The group of candidates passes by as they exit the compound and the short haired girl from before peeks from between a few heads before managing to walk closer to them.

“Hey!” She greets, barely bows at Kihyun and Yoohyeon and turns to smile at Changkyun when she speaks in what sounds like British English. “Changkyun, was it?”

“Oh,” Changkyun blinks, smiles and bows his head at her. “Yeah. Good work out there, by the way, you’re like-- _super_ fast, what the heck.”

She giggles, tucking a short strand of hair behind her ear. “And you’re like _super_ pretty! Can I get your number?”

Kihyun blinks, looks at Changkyun, who knows he’s blushing, and then at Yoohyeon before rolling his eyes. “Why does this always happen when I’m around?” He grumbles before patting Changkyun’s shoulder and walking away. “See you later, lover boy.”

Changkyun wants to just run out after Kihyun, but instead has to look at this girl as apologetically as he can and say, _or try,_ “You’re… really pretty, too, but I’m not… doing that right now? Bit busy with…” He points a thumb over his shoulder, realises he’s pointing down the hall where Kihyun just went and quickly drops his hand.

Yoohyeon laughs into her hand. “Oh boy.”

The pretty girl’s smile falters a little but she just nods and steps back. “Alright! Some other time, then. See you around?”

Changkyun nods, embarrassed, a little red in the ears. “Of course, yeah, see you around…” He glances at Yoohyeon. “I assume you know enough English to know I just stuck both feet in my mouth. Go ahead, mock me,” Changkyun jokes.

“Which part?” Yoohyeon says in English and then laughs. “The part where you just told her you’re a ‘bit busy’ with your best friend?”

“That was an accident!” Changkyun squeaks, picks up his water bottle and throws his towel over his shoulder. “I was talking about the piloting and giant monsters!”

“Yeah, yeah,” she laughs. “Well, lead the way, co-pilot!”

They score a sixty eight. It’s good. The Neural Handshake goes smoothly; her parents are still alive, which is nearly a miracle in the world they live in right now. She’s generally just… sweet. Kind, funny. There’s nothing wrong with _her_ per say, except that _now_ she’s sitting on Kihyun’s bed.

Only now does it occur to Changkyun that Kihyun must have already moved his things out. He’s not a Ranger anymore, not Changkyun’s co-pilot anymore. And when Yoohyeon smiles at Changkyun, he feels a little bad when he doesn’t smile back, just reaches under his bed for his research, mumbles a quick, “I’ll be in the lab if you need me,” before walking off.

He knows he needs to spend time with Yoohyeon, get to know her better. It’ll help for the Drift. But right now? He just wishes he could yell at someone for a while. It’s a good thing his lab is full of Americans.

  
  


Kihyun remembers. He never forgot. But going through that memory felt like rewiring a bunch of things he thought he’d forgotten, the little details. Like how people just lay like dolls on the ground, limbs at awkward angles and heads held in such a way that they could not be sleeping. He remembers thinking past the sinking feeling, past the little loop video that kept playing and playing every time he closed his eyes.

It’s weird. In one moment, the person is right there and, in the next second, they’re gone. There’s no time to prepare, to let it sink in. It’s like, suddenly, a limb is missing and the only question in mind is _‘what do I do now?’_ followed by a quiet _‘why’_.

But that’s not the worst part. After seven years, Kihyun is used to the ‘what’s and the ‘why’s that jump forward in his head. He’s familiar with the feelings that just feel like old friends by now. The worst part, hangs on the Memorial wall. A picture, next to many others. That girl, Haley, died because Kihyun had another option for a co-pilot. And Nate? Well, Kihyun knew from the start that it wouldn’t end well. And in the end, had things played out differently, Kihyun would have died as well.

If Changkyun hadn’t decided he wanted to be Kihyun’s co-pilot, Kihyun would have died in the same Jaeger where Nate did. If someone else other than Changkyun was piloting Rogue Fox back when Kihyun chased the R.A.B.I.T., he would have probably died as well--his own fault for getting emotionally compromised.

In the end, the truth is; he shouldn't be alive. And the only reason why he _is_ circles around a variable named Im Changkyun-- _look at that, equations..._

Kihyun fixes the bag over his shoulder and leans down to pick up the other bag. He has a new room, on a new floor. At least he won’t be sharing it with anyone.

Therapy three times a week for the next four weeks and very little else to do. Kihyun’s never been put on the sidelines before. And the fact that it was his own damn fault just makes him feel a lot worse. Because it’s true, he promised Changkyun he wouldn’t let him die. But how’s he supposed to do that now? Nevermind the one month break, Kihyun knows he’ll be able to get back to it. But many more will die within that time.

The new room is small. Kihyun throws his things into a corner and lets himself fall over the bed. _Fresh sheets._ That’s a good feeling. What’s not a good feeling, is the ever present notion that he’s being left behind. That he’s stuck. That there’s nothing he can do when everyone else is doing something.

So, that’s what he does; nothing. Kihyun just lies in bed and does nothing until minutes turn to hours and then he falls asleep.

Doing nothing… That’s something Kihyun can’t fuck up. Doing nothing is like being dead while wasting oxygen.

He wakes up for dinner call but decides to ignore it. He stays very still, like it doesn’t really matter even when his stomach wiggles inside him begging for food. When it gets annoying, Kihyun just frowns and closes his eyes again, hoping that the darkness in the room will lull him into sleep.

Suddenly, however, there’s a knock on the door in a funny rhythm. Like the beginning of a song Kihyun supposes Changkyun (who else) learned as a child. Kihyun doesn’t move, though, just pulls the sheets over his head.

“You think a door’s gonna stop me?” Changkyun calls from the other side of said door. “I bring presents! Well, one present, I’m the other present. Gifted child, yadda yadda.”

Kihyun snorts a laugh and rolls his eyes at himself. Because of course Changkyun wouldn’t allow him a depressive alone moment. _Of course…_

“It’s open,” Kihyun admits. “You have full clearance, you can just…” He groans and flops around, eyes on the ceiling--or what he can perceive of the ceiling. There’s very little light in rooms with no windows. _And yet the General has ten of them in his office..._

“Yikes, it’s dark in here,” Changkyun says once he pushes the door open with his shoulder. He’s holding something in his arms, held out like a table, with two plates on top of it and two forks. It’s amazing he hasn’t dropped anything, really. “Look! I decorated it myself!”

Kihyun sits up, reaches behind for the light sensor and waves his hand in front of it. The room lights up a little--not the strongest bulb in existence but it does its job. Kihyun glances at what Changkyun puts down in front of him and feels his heart squeeze a little.

“So…” Kihyun starts, clears his throat, eyes on the 3.14 drawn over the pie in carefully arranged pastry. “Pi?”

“Pi!” Changkyun smiles wide, offers him a fork. “I was gonna try to squeeze a carrot joke in here somewhere--square root and all that--but I know you like chicken, so. Chicken! Might be carrots in it, I honestly don’t know, the lady in the kitchen was very nice to me but I can’t speak Cantonese all that well…”

_Goddamnit._

Kihyun blinks the burn behind his eyes away and makes space on the bed for Changkyun to sit down next to him. “Thanks… But shouldn’t you be computing pi for someone else at the moment?”

“Yes, well,” Changkyun says, sitting down. “She’s on your bed. I’m allowed to be salty.”

“Well, she can take over teddy bear duty, now,” Kihyun mumbles, reaches to pick up a fork.

“Who will be your teddy bear, though,” Changkyun says under his breath, moves a piece of the pie into Kihyun’s plate.

“I’ve got four weeks of therapy ahead of me,” Kihyun chuckles. “Doubt I’ll need one.”

“People have therapy pets!” Changkyun says, before blinking. “Not that I’m a pet.”

Kihyun snorts a laugh, shakes his head and pokes the pie with his fork. “Yeah, I think there’s carrots in here.”

Changkyun smiles, nods, stuffs a little pie in his face. Again, companionable silence. And when Changkyun finally speaks, it’s soft. “How did it go today? Are they keeping you busy, at least?”

“Nope,” Kihyun says, takes some pie into his mouth, “But I took it as the cue to just sleep the days away. So, that’s what I’m doing. Hibernating.”

“Is that what you want to do?” Changkyun asks. “Because honestly, I’m _swamped_ …”

“I can’t do what I want to do,” Kihyun mumbles. “Not now anyway. And until they reinstate me, not much I can do for the military either.”

Changkyun pouts, holds his fork out for Kihyun, piled high with pie. “Eat. I want Kihyun back in a month, you hear me? No withering away or sulking on my watch...”

Kihyun frowns at the fork in Changkyun’s hand but takes the pie into his mouth anyway before glancing away to mumble something and then a, “Sure.” He munches and finishes the rest of the pie on his plate before asking, “So? How’s your new co-pilot?”

“On your bed,” Changkyun repeats, frowning. “I don’t know. She’s nice, capable, but she just feels like a replacement. Which she is. But it doesn’t harbor a great feeling of safety.”

“Maybe you just have to get to know her better?” Kihyun asks as he puts his plate down and looks at Changkyun. “Seriously, don’t half ass this. She’s your pilot, you have to--” Kihyun glances away and frowns. “You know what I mean.”

“Yeah,” Changkyun sighs. “I just…” Changkyun stabs at his pie. “It’s difficult for me to really let people in, okay? And this is like that but a million times more.”

“I know,” Kihyun says. Because yes, he knows. “But your life quite literally depends on that. Besides, I know you’re worried about me but don’t be. I’m fine. Worry about yourself.”

“No offense to my worry about you,” Changkyun laughs. “But I am. I didn’t just come here to cheer _you_ up, you know.”

Kihyun rolls his eyes. “I’m not a teddy bear.”

“Am I holding you right now? No? So shut up about the damn teddy bear.”

Kihyun rolls his eyes again, brings one leg up and rests his chin on his knee as he watches Changkyun eat. It’s such a stupid feeling, to be happy that Changkyun is here but at the same time wish he’d just go away, do his own thing, get busy. Then again, both are selfish feelings. So, Kihyun stays quiet.

And maybe he shouldn’t, he definitely shouldn’t, but after a few minutes he asks; “Whenever you’re not busy… Wanna train with me?”

Sentimentality is a terrible thing.

Changkyun beams, though, when he looks up and nods with a mouth full of food.

Kihyun smiles a little, ignores the way his heart squeezes. There’s so much worth protecting right here and Kihyun went and screwed it up. _Typical._

And he knows he shouldn’t. He really, really _shouldn’t._ Because whatever leads him to say what he says next is a selfish little flame burning at borderline desire; the desire to protect, the desire to keep, but most of all the desire to be protected and kept just as well.

“Hey,” Kihyun breathes, “I know it’s shitty and, _please,_ go bond with your co-pilot. But… If you ever need something, count me in, yeah? There’s no Drift, but… Best friends, right?”

 _Right..?_ Such a shitty, selfish feeling, to want to make sure. To need that silly reassurance that he's not staying behind but knowing deep down he deserves to stay behind. To watch everyone move on and get busy because this is so much bigger than him, bigger than them.

“Right,” Changkyun smiles after a big swallow and a nod. “You can get the rest of the pie, by the way. I’ll go--” Changkyun holds up two fingers as if quoting. “‘Bond’ with my temporary co-pilot. So I can stay alive until you’re done with your psychology lessons.” Changkyun smiles softly “If you learn anything good, lemme know, yeah?”

“They just ask me weird questions, like talking about myself is my favourite hobby,” Kihyun scoffs

“It isn’t?” Changkyun teases.

“If it was,” Kihyun says, shoves a little at Changkyun, “Maybe I wouldn’t have gotten into this mess.”

“You can talk to me, too, though,” Changkyun says, looking down with a slight shrug. “If you want. If anyone’s gonna understand, s’pose it would be me, right?”

“I know,” Kihyun says, looks at Changkyun’s hands, “But you already know. So, telling you is a bit pointless, no?”

“I felt what you did,” Changkyun admits. “Saw the same things. But we still think very differently.”

“And?” Kihyun asks, doesn’t look up. “What do you think, then?”

Changkyun blinks up. “About?”

Kihyun finally glances up looks between Changkyun’s eyes. “Everything,” Kihyun says.

Changkyun pouts a little. “I think… That you’re not a gear in a machine, Kihyun. We’re just human. Mistakes happen all the time, you know? And I know you think you fucked up majorly, and yeah, maybe you did a small bit,” Changkyun teases with a smile. “But it’s okay. We’re both still here. And apparently I managed to pilot a Jaeger on my own for a bit which is pretty cool , so.”

“Oh, right,” Kihyun blinks. “I almost forgot, you did do that!”

Changkyun’s cheeks flush a little pink. “Yeah, I… guess there was a lot of brain left that I didn’t use, I guess?” He laughs under his breath, shy.

“See?” Kihyun smiles, shoves at Changkyun’s shoulder. “You’re great! And now kind of a legend, too. No one pilots a Jaeger alone and survives. Only two people managed to do that in years and years.”

“Oh, god, don’t call me a legend,” Changkyun laughs, plops down next to Kihyun on the bed.

“A leg-end,” Kihyun jokes, pokes at Changkyun’s tummy and blinks when he hits the belly button.

“Ack!” Changkyun giggles, curling in. “Ah, that would have hurt so much a month ago! Feels weird!”

“Oh, wow, sorry…” Kihyun laughs.

“It’s okay,” Changkyun laughs, too, lifts his shirt up to look at his tummy, flat, with just the slightest indents of muscle, chin making little rolls at the odd angle. “See? I got armor now.”

“Armor?” Kihyun snorts. _This kid…_ “You’re so fucking silly.”

“What else do you wanna call it?”

“Oh, dunno,” Kihyun shrugs. “I’ve heard a lot of things, now going from chocolate bar to armor.”

“ _Chocolate bar_ ? Ewwww,” Changkyun sticks his tongue out in disgust, puts a hand on his stomach and lies back again. “They’re my…” Changkyun waggles his eyebrows. “Sexy slabs. My--” Changkyun barks a laugh. “ _Wrekt_ us abdominus.”

Kihyun facepalms and lets himself fall back next to Changkyun. “Just when I start thinking you’re kinda cool, you go and say the weirdest shit…”

Changkyun sticks out his tongue with another laugh, looks up at the ceiling. “I should go, but... five more minutes?

“Yeah,” Kihyun chuckles, looks at the ceiling, too. _Five more minutes._

It’s about a minute of silence that passes, and Kihyun feels Changkyun’s hand worm between them, down to his wrist and down into Kihyun’s hand, fingers at his palm. Kihyun frowns at the ceiling but opens his hand a little, bends his wrist just bit to let Changkyun’s fingers slide between his own.

“Hand Drifting,” Changkyun mumbles.

Kihyun huffs a laugh. “Idiot.”

“Yeah,” Changkyun agrees, and for the next four minutes, they just stay like that.

  
  


Yoohyeon’s nice. She’s really, really nice. She’s only a few centimeters shorter than Changkyun, so the sparring comes a little easier for him that it might have if he really did end up being compatible with King T’Challa. She laughs a little every time she falls. It’s cute, she’s nice, it’ll be fine.

“How long have you been training, then?” Changkyun asks, frowns a little at himself. Is this what Kihyun did with Nate? Must have been… Except that Changkyun doesn’t plan on sleeping with Yoohyeon.

 _That sounded mildly bitter, Changkyun, reel it in_.

“Three years,” Yoohyeon says, sighs, “Well, four if you consider the break. They wanted me to join the Navy. But,” she shivers and makes a face. “Water… Not a big fan.”

Changkyun frowns. “You know Kaiju come out of the ocean, right..?”

“Yeah,” she says, “I know. Consider this _me_ facing my fears!” She laughs, shakes her head. “Let’s hope it works. At least I won’t be alone out there.”

_You think you’re scared, Kyun? How must she feel?_

“You’re not alone, no,” Changkyun smiles wide, reassuring, despite the longing in his chest for his own little safe space. “Look at me, I went out there twice and came back with _very_ little brain damage.”

Yoohyeon looks at him, smile dimming a little. “Heard your co-pilot messed up last time…”

Changkyun frowns again, brings his stick forward in a quick attack. “He got lost in the R.A.B.I.T. It’s not his fault…”

Yoohyeon defends and ducks to escape. “No offense, I know you like him. But…” She looks over her shoulder, eyes on Changkyun’s. “We train for years so we learn how to let the memories flow without getting lost. With seven years of training? It _is_ his fault. No matter the circumstances… We all know what’s out there. I’m sure he knew, too.”

“No offense,” Changkyun replies, spins around to try to hit again. And Yoohyeon quickly spins, too. Their sparring sticks clash and they look at each other. “But no amount of training is enough. You weren’t there. It’s like… Standing up straight against crushing gravity. Any second could be your last, and nobody swears at God when they might meet him soon.” Changkyun sighs, stepping back, lowering the stick. “I’m not trying to scare you. I’m just…” Changkyun just shrugs, though, takes his offensive stance again. “Protective.”

Yoohyeon blinks, looks down at the floor and smiles small. “Ah, please, don’t hate me. I just… You’re probably right. But hey,” she looks back up and smiles a little wider, “I’ll try my best.”

Changkyun’s eyes soften as he nods. “Yeah. Yeah, I know.”

“Ah,” a voice says from the doorway. “I’m glad to see you two are training together.”

Changkyun’s jaw tenses, and he walks off the matt to take a long sip from his water bottle.

“General!” Yoohyeon says, bows. “Good afternoon!”

Shownu bows his head slightly in acknowledgement. “Good afternoon, First Lieutenant Kim. Training going well?”

“Yes, sir!”

Changkyun scoffs. “Soldiers always sound like they’re following a script,” Changkyun says, like he’s talking to himself but loud enough for Shownu to hear him.

“And I assume that’s a problem for you?” Shownu asks, voice near teasing.

“And not for you,” Changkyun smiles back tensely. “What’s that nickname they gave you, again…? Robot?” He scoffs again, runs the towel down his face. “Yeah, seeing it now.”

“As long as I manage to keep most of you alive, I’ll take whatever brand you give me,” Shownu says with obvious trained patience.

“Did you need something?” Changkyun asks, then. “ _General_?”

“Yes, _Ranger._ Wondering how that predictive model you’ve been working on is going. It would be nice to have something on my desk as soon as possible.”

“I have the Americans running simulations as we speak. Should be done soon,” Changkyun says. “Then I’ll just write it all down with really small words and put it on your desk.”

Shownu rolls his eyes but it looks somewhat fondly. “You know you have terrible handwriting, right?”

“I’m working on it,” Changkyun grumbles.

“Ah,” Shownu says after he turns around, looking over his shoulder. “Thought you’d like to know, I put Yoo Kihyun in charge of training the candidates. Thought he might like that. And it doesn’t require anything official, so…”

Changkyun looks over, nods a little before glancing at Yoohyeon. “See you at dinner? I should go check on that model…”

Yoohyeon salutes Changkyun instead of the General and smiles, “Aye aye!”

Changkyun smiles, lips in a line as he grabs his stuff and walks past Shownu, says, “Yeah, it’s going well. And…” Changkyun stops, sighs. “Thanks for keeping him busy.”

“Hm,” Shownu says. “You know, Changkyun. I think sometimes you mistake my choice to speak duty instead of feelings as a reflection of my not caring.” A pause. And when Shownu speaks again his voice wavers a little. “But I assure you, it’s precisely the opposite.”

Everyone is different. Everyone deals differently. It’s difficult to get out of one’s own habits, the way you, yourself, show things like caring. Some people do it loudly, some clandestinely, and some care so much that letting it out would crack a carefully constructed mask.

Changkyun reaches out to squeeze Shownu’s upper arm. “I’m just scared, hyung,” he says, under his breath. “I’m just scared,” he sighs, squeezes again and walks away.

  
  


“I gotta ask,” one of the American scientists--his lab coat reads ‘M. Barnes’--asks (‘cause apparently, _he gotta_ ). “How long has that thing been up there?”

“What, Jeremy?” Changkyun asks, too, blinking with wide, innocent eyes. “Oh, not long. I like him, though, don’t you?”

Barnes looks up at the ball of water stuck in the ceiling. “I’m afraid it will fall at some point…”

“And then, suddenly, comedy! No downsides to Jeremy,” Changkyun says. He looks at the guy, has to look up with him from where he’s sitting. The guy’s got that ‘tall’ look to him. Like Hyungwon. All stretched taffy and a fast metabolism.

“Oh, I like Jeremy,” another scientist says nearby. He’s a lot smaller, glasses, curly hair, big blue eyes. He smiles at Changkyun, “We had the most interesting conversation the other day.”

Barnes frowns like he’s offended, and Changkyun just gapes in open interest as he enthuses, “He _talks_ to you? Waaaah, he must trust you a lot.”

“Well, actually!” The curly haired scientist chuckles, his name tag reads ‘Jason McCoy’. “I was testing something,” he points at the papers on his desk. “Sound frequencies. Filtered a few from the A.I. Capture in your last mission? There were some low Hertz flying around whenever the Kaiju attacked. I’m thinking I can do something with this, give you a bit of new coding for the Jaegers. It might help as a predictive model? This, considering all Kaiju emit low frequency Hertz before they attack. I’ll have to test other Kaiju to prove my theory.”

Changkyun feels his eyebrows try to climb up into his hair, before he lets out a low whistle and elbows lightly at Barnes, who rolls his eyes and walks back to his station. “Oooh, I like this guy, this guy can stay. Do you have any readings from Jeremy in response to the Hertz?”

“No, but!” Jason slides his chair closer to the small column over the table. “Check this out, a low 16 Hertz pure sine wave.” And when he presses the button all Changkyun can hear is a small, almost soundless beeping static. But true enough, Jeremy wobbles like a leaf on the ceiling.

Changkyun feels his lips form an impressed ‘o’ as he stares up. “Waaah, that’s great! Sound moves at a much faster speed in the water, although I think water temperature and pressure might influence on how far it travels…”

Jason nods, “It might work on the Kaiju. If they communicate with low frequencies, not between each other but as some sort of… battle cry? Either we can start predicting their attacks a few seconds before they do, or we might be able to confuse them by emitting those very same sounds.” He shrugs. “I’m sure they’ll figure it out sooner or later but every upper hand we might have in a fight will help. Right?”

“Right!” Changkyun grins wide. “Why didn’t you tell me this earlier, dude? Seriously, this is great. Glad you sneaked in with the rest of ‘em.” He leans forward to whisper. “I could do without Barnes, to be honest.”

Jason laughs a little, “Well, I didn’t want to brag without knowing I had something but…” He looks at Changkyun and winks. “I’ll let you know when I do.”

The intercom beeps and Minhyuk’s voice sounds through the lab. _“Bio lab to science nerds? I need to talk to Dr. Im Changkyun. Send him my way? Please. Thank you!”_ And then it’s off.

“Ah geez, that’s me,” Changkyun sighs, dramatically turning in his chair before getting up. “I made some notes on the model, if you can decipher my hieroglyphics.”

“Oh,” Jason reaches for the papers on Changkyun’s desk, “Want me to start computing this? Just so we have something.”

“Yes, please,” Changkyun sing-songs and skips to the door.

The bio lab isn’t far; just follow the sounds of Lee Minhyuk and the smell of ammonia, and voila, a cornucopia of Kaiju.

“You wanted me?” Changkyun asks (in Korean again, sweet relief), pulling his lab coat a little closer around himself. “It’s cold in here, ugh…”

“As it should be,” Minhyuk says, materializing out of nowhere next to Changkyun and pulling him closer and further inside the lab. “It’s hard to keep these babies intact. Gotta soak them in ammonia quite often or they just melt on me.” Minhyuk sits Changkyun in a chair and then fumbles in the computer to lock the door to the lab before shutting everything down. “Alright!” He claps his hands and for some reason, he doesn’t just look excited, not like he usually does. He looks nervous.

“Er… What’s wrong?” is Changkyun’s first question. He’s never seen Minhyuk nervous. Seriously, never. And his second question is, “Are you okay?”

Minhyuk faces a wall when he says, “Just a headache!” and then turns to Changkyun again, making little gestures close to his own chest. “Don’t talk, just listen, the walls have eyes. Okay? And smile from time to time.”

Changkyun frowns, but then smiles, lying down with his chin on his arms on the table. “You worry me,” Changkyun says cheerfully, smile intact.

“Yeah, well…” Minhyuk tilts his head a little, smiles small. “Look, maybe I’m just being paranoid. So, I thought I’d talk to someone. But Joo can barely keep a secret, especially something like this. And… I need someone to tell me I’m just being paranoid. But if I’m right then I can’t just talk about it to anyone!” Minhyuk groans, places a hand on the table to hold himself steady and sighs, eyes on the black computer screen. “I think we’re being used. And by ‘we’ I mean me, my department, specifically, but… maybe we’re all being used, in a way. I don’t know how many people are involved in this. But,” he looks at Changkyun, “Can’t trust the military.”

Changkyun blinks, keeps his eyes from going wide. “Why do you sound like you’re about to tell me about some military conspiracy I’d rather not hear about?”

Minhyuk’s face crumbles a little but he says, “You can just leave whenever, okay? But…”

“Hey, no, I was joking, Min,” Changkyun says, reaching for Minhyuk’s hand. He’s noticed Minhyuk is like him. Comfort in touch. “You can tell me, I’m listening. And if anyone’s looking at us, you can tell them we’re just having a moment,” Changkyun smiles soft. “Okay?”

Minhyuk nods, “Okay, okay…” He clears his throat, gets a little closer to Changkyun and speaks lowly. “Okay, I think you know but I was brought here under the pretence they needed more Kaiju intel for whatever was to come. Right?” Changkyun nods. “Of course, I had no idea we’d have Kaiju pouring out of random Breaches any time soon, but… It is what it is.” Minhyuk clears his throat. “I’ve been studying both Otachi and Leatherback for quite some time. And every now and then an official comes in, asks me for whatever progresses I’ve made and walks out with my papers.” He sighs. “My team has been on both the latest events. Apparently, both secondary brains went missing. We thought it was the Russians? I mean, they suddenly showed up at the first site and collected half of what we had, for whatever reason. But…” Minhyuk shrugs. “I don’t know. So, I started thinking about all the little things they kept asking me to test… Bio-agents related to Kaiju Blue? How to trace Kaiju Blue and what chemicals remain untraceable and disconnected from the whole biohazard?” Minhyuk frowns. “And why is the military interested in this anyway? What matters is that’s bad and needs to be stopped.”

“I can see why you were suspicious, to be honest…” Changkyun grumbles, frowning down at their hands.

“I think some division, maybe American? Russian? Chinese? Shit, I don’t know. But someone has their web stretched all the way into this place. And I think I… might be, unwillingly, helping them develop some sort of bio-weapon.”

“What?” Changkyun frowns, blinking. “To use against the Kaiju? I don’t see how Kaiju Blue is going to hurt a Kaiju…”

“I think our leaders are worried about a lot more than just the Kaiju, Kyun…” Minhyuk sighs. “Think about it. The moment they thought the war was over they started fighting for control. The Americans want to take over the Jaeger project. Luckily, China stepped in and Russia aligned with them. They suggested the twenty years of financial help to keep to Jaeger project independant. But once this all over? If we don’t die, someone will try to stand over the spoils of war. Biological warfare is forbidden. But who cares? It’s never forbidden if it’s in the,” Minhyuk makes quotation marks with his fingers, “‘right hands’. And the Kaiju phenomenon is the biggest threat we’ve had. Especially, if they find a way to adapt it to the circumstances. Like what I’ve been asked to do recently. Isolate whatever harms only animal DNA.”

Changkyun is biting at his lip, reaches up to pinch it between his nails. “Like… humans?”

“It would take years to perfect something like that, but yes… Imagine like… Suddenly, an untraceable phenomenon, killing hundreds in one single day, just like the Kaiju phenomenon. Bio-weapons are usually too slow, and hard to adapt. Like, imagine a flu or something. Sure, some of those only affect us, humans, but it would take weeks before the effects reach a conclusion. It would be on the news and on everyone’s ears, people trying to fight it? The Kaiju phenomenon makes bio-weapons a dangerous possibility. The moment they start decomposing their bodies turn toxic. I tested, one single drop into a tank. Every living bacteria was dead in two hours.”

Changkyun has to swallow, his throat suddenly so dry. “Are you saying that… we’re going out there, risking our necks to save this world, and this could, what, kill millions anyway? For what?”

“I think they might just want some leverage, you know how people work,” Minhyuk shrugs. “Cold War? My missile is bigger than yours so I control what happens.” He scoffs a laugh. “Even though it’s a war crime to actually use the stuff.”

“Shit…” Changkyun puts his forehead down on his arms. “Do you have any idea where they could be keeping this thing? Does Shownu know about it? I can’t see him agreeing to something like this…”

Minhyuk rolls his eyes, looks away. “He’s military. He doesn’t have to agree. His superiors say smile and look pretty and he smiles and looks pretty.” Minhyuk looks at Changkyun. “But I can’t just quit, can I? I’m helping you guys, too!”

“No, don’t quit,” Changkyun shakes his head. “You… You have a really good idea of what this toxin might look like? Chemically, I mean.”

“I thought they just wanted the ammonia, at first. Which is stupid,” Minhyuk gestures at his lab, “I mean we have plenty of that, too. And sure, ammonia can be hazardous. It can also be used as a ligand in transition metal complexes or, I don’t know! But!” Minhyuk crosses his arms, “Kaiju blood is phosphorescent and extraordinarily toxic? It contains traces of prussic acid with an extra electron in its composition, derived from the ammonia. It’s pretty much untraceable unless you’re looking for something out of a Kaiju.”

Changkyun nods slowly. “If we introduce a rogue element, break that hydrogenous bond and make it unstable, make it look natural… It wouldn’t be a viable bioweapon then, would it?”

Minhyuk frowns, nods as he pouts. “If you manage to break the triple bond between carbon and nitrogen? Yeah… Yeah, that might work.”

“Then we should stop it,” Changkyun says, looking up at Minhyuk. Minhyuk’s eyes are really dark, and when he blinks, it’s a little uneven. “An advantage of being on the inside, right? We can stop it.”

Minhyuk pouts some more. “But I don’t even know who to trust with this… What… What if Shownu is involved?”

Changkyun takes a breath, looks down. “Who do you trust? Someone you know would never condone anything like this?” Changkyun has a feeling he knows the answer.

“Well, there is someone, but…” Minhyuk frowns. “This means going against the military… I don’t think breaking the rules is part of his book… Then again, he’s a field agent and used to work for Intel.”

Changkyun smiles a little. “Mm, he sounds useful…”

“He hates me,” Minhyuk deadpans.

Changkyun smiles a little wider. Yep, definitely on the same page. “Does he hate _me_?”

Minhyuk looks at Changkyun and raises an eyebrow. “I think he’d kill for you, kiddo…”

Changkyun’s heart tightens a little. “And me for him, I trust him. He can help us. And, I think… I think we need Jooheon.”

Minhyuk groans. “Ugh, okay…” He glances at Changkyun. “So, when’s the wedding?”

Changkyun frowns, head pulling back. “Say what now?”

“Nothing,” Minhyuk says quickly, raises both hands. “Nothing, nothing.” He steps away from the table and kicks at a piece of Kaiju flesh on the floor. “So… Are we really doing this?”

“Wouldn’t be able to live with myself otherwise,” Changkyun smiles softly. “Talk to them. Explain it to them. Jooheon--you probably know this, but--he’s a fantastic hacker,” Changkyun winks, moves to stand up

“Oh, I know,” Minhyuk smiles. “Hacked his way into my heart, that one.”

Changkyun almost laughs. He leans in a little to ask in a whisper. “Has he asked you out yet, then?”

Minhyuk, _oh god, he’s acting cute,_ blushes a little and glances away. “Yeah…”

Changkyun reaches forward, ruffles Minhyuk’s hair. “Good on you, dude. Seriously. You two are good for each other, so I’m glad…”

Minhyuk pouts a little and nods. “Yeah… Okay. Okay. I’ll…” He clears his throat. “I’ll keep in touch.”

“Please do. And send me something to work with to make that rogue element, yeah?” Changkyun walks backwards to the door. “If I’m not there, there’s a guy called Jason, he’s cool, just give it to him to give to me.”

“Noted. Jason. Noted.”

  
  


Kihyun sits alone in the cafeteria. No reason in particular, just that he needs to go over a few dossiers the General dropped by his doorstep before tomorrow and he’s a little behind. So, he pushes his tray just a little aside to be able to go through the fifth dossier. He will just be training these people, but if there’s one thing Kihyun’s learned is that every individual is different. And what works on someone might not work on someone else. Everyone has different learning methods. It will be good for them if Kihyun can figure out which.

He flips over a few pages. Very few candidates have a military record. It’s not really a big deal, but again, it means military pep-talk won’t work on those who don’t. Might actually make them cry. Which is not good. Not in this case, at least.

A chin perches itself on Kihyun’s shoulder, and Kihyun startles a little, shivers when a familiar voice says, “Captain.”

Kihyun needs to lean his head away when he turns, considering Changkyun’s face is _right there._ “What?”

“Your position is compromised,” Changkyun says. “Relocation recommended.”

Kihyun snorts and laugh and softly headbutts Changkyun’s head before turning to his dossier again, “You’re stupid. _And_ I’m out, remember? Not a Captain until said otherwise.”

“Oh Captain, my Captain,” Changkyun starts and then whines. “Come sit with uuuuuus.”

Kihyun brings some food into his mouth to keep the smile away, “Who’s ‘us’? Also, I’m busy.”

“You _know_ ,” Changkyun says, leaning his head right into Kihyun’s personal bubble. “Your _friends_. Me, most importantly, of course.”

Kihyun squints at the papers, leans away a little, “Uhuh… I still have work to do.”

“Pwease?” Changkyun pouts. “If you say no one more time I really will leave though…” Changkyun pouts a bit more.

Kihyun glances at him and frowns. _Stupid pretty face._ “Fine… But only because I haven’t seen you in two days.”

“Exactly!” Changkyun grins, cheeks dimpling. “You’d think you’d be more excited, honestly... “

Kihyun closes the dossier and scoffs a laugh as he gets up, “Take my tray, then. I have to bring these with me.”

“At your command, your majesty.”

“That’s a whole rank climb right there,” Kihyun scoffs, watches Changkyun happily pick up the tray and gesture for Kihyun to follow after him. _Enthusiastic little thing, you._ “So, hello? How are you? Glad to know you’re still alive.”

“Yes, well, no Kaiju has showed up to chomp me down _just_ yet…”

“Who’d even want to chomp you down-- _Don’t_ answer that, I don’t care.”

Changkyun barks a laugh. “Apparently! Most of the damn candidates. You become a Ranger and bam, suddenly you’re a chick magnet. Terrible, really.”

“I guess I’m just ugly, then,” Kihyun chuckles, glances at the ‘Ranger table’ and feels a little uneasy, for some reason. “The Ranger effect didn’t happen with me.”

“Maybe it only works on blondes?” Changkyun teases. Nate was blonde. The Russian contact from the other night was blonde.

“You’re blonde,” Kihyun says, raises an eyebrow. “Is it working on you?”

“I’m not _naturally_ blonde,” Changkyun corrects, ears a slight pink.

“Well, I’m not a Ranger anymore, either, so… You’re safe.”

“Hey!” Hoseok grins from the table, Hyungwon looks up, does a little wave, and then looks back down.

Kihyun sits down where Changkyun places his tray, right across from Yoohyeon. “Hey,” Kihyun says, looking between all of them. He hadn’t talked to any other Ranger yet. Maybe out of shame. Maybe because he’s suddenly busy and so is everyone else.

Changkyun’s still smiling bright, like the world doesn’t affect him. “I found this one hiding out on the outskirts.”

“I was busy, not hiding,” Kihyun grumbles as he places the small stack of dossiers by his side.

“Fine. I found this one _busy_ on the outskirts.”

“Haven’t seen you in a while,” Hoseok says. “How are you?”

Kihyun sighs. “Like usual.”

“You mean moody?” Hyungwon scoffs.

“I’m _not_ moody. Y’all just not funny, that’s it.”

“And there you have it,” Hyungwon points at Changkyun with the spoon. “It’s your sense of humour. That’s why he likes you.”

“Aw, he likes me?” Changkyun coos, hand to his chest.

Hyungwon rolls his eyes. “Ugh, why do I try.”

Kihyun shoves a whole stripe of bacon into his mouth and munches. _Like, huh?_

“I thought this table was for Rangers only, anyway,” Hyungwon adds, and Yoohyeon scoffs a little under her breath. _That was a low blow._

Kihyun pauses, eyes on his plate as he frowns. “I can leave if my presence tickles you this much.”

“He’s just easily tickled,” Hoseok says, waving them off. Changkyun straightens a little next to Kihyun.

“So, what,” Changkyun says, chin tilting up, “One seat per Ranger, is that how this works?”

Kihyun rolls his eyes. “Please, don’t--”

He does. Changkyun plops himself right onto Kihyun’s lap, shoves the food on his fork right into his mouth, eyes on Hyungwon.

 _Right,_ Kihyun sighs. _This is totally fine._ And that, was sarcasm.

Kihyun digs his head under Changkyun’s arm so he can look at his plate and switch his fork from his right hand to his left so he can eat.

“Guess I’m gonna owe Minhyuk some money pretty soon,” Hoseok mumbles under his breath, stuffs his mouth with food.

“How are those bets going, by the way?” Kihyun asks casually.

“Depends which side you’re on,” Hyungwon says, grins. “Quite literally.”

Yoohyeon clears her throat a little. “Changkyun, I don’t think this is entirely appropriate…?”

Kihyun glances up, thinks, _Give up, kid. He doesn’t care._

“I don’t care,” Changkyun says, sticks his tongue out a little. “Social norms are lost on me, in any case, right?”

“You’ll realize it’s pointless when you Drift,” Kihyun tells Yoohyeon. “He just does whatever he wants.” _Which, in a way, I kinda respect._

Changkyun grins wide like it’s a compliment, leans over to stab some more food onto his fork. “In any case, I’m just about done with those magnetic shift prediction models. Will head back after dinner.” Changkyun swings his legs a little. “Anyone wanna come keep me company? I think McCoy’ll be there too but he’s nice.”

 _McCoy? Sounds like a Star Trek name._ That movie Changkyun showed Kihyun. It was a funny movie. And apparently, there are four more of them.

“I can, if you want,” Kihyun says. _Alright,_ maybe he missed Changkyun a little. “As long as it’s quiet enough for me to go over those dossiers.”

“It’s a science lab, not a disco, so yeah, ‘course!”

Hyungwon sighs. “Changkyun… You remember what I said, right?”

Kihyun glances up, “Nothing good, I assume. Coming from you.” He pokes a broccoli and shoves it into his mouth.

“He said,” Yoohyeon says. “That I’m his co-pilot. Reminded him, actually...”

“Why? Does he keep forgetting?” Kihyun asks, looking at Yoohyeon in the eyes. Whatever stab that was supposed to be, made him just a little angry. Which, he expected from Hyungwon, but not from the new girl.

“Apparently,” she says under her breath.

Kihyun frowns. “If this is about me going to the lab, you know you can go, too, right?” He rolls his eyes. “I’m not his ex husband or something. And you’re not his wife. It’s Drifting. Not marriage.” He glances at Changkyun, “And you… What did I tell you about ‘bonding’ with your co-pilot, hm?”

Changkyun glances back, face apologetic as if to say ‘I tried’. “Yeah, yeah. We’ve been training together a lot, it’s not like I sleep outside, we’re doing fine, I don’t know what you guys are on about…”

Kihyun glances at Yoohyeon and then at Hyungwon as if asking the same, then.

Changkyun looks so damn guilty all of a sudden, slipping off of Kihyun’s lap even as he keeps their legs pressed together. Hoseok looks uncertain and Hyungwon just rolls his eyes and says, “When you’re not here, it still feels like you with how sulky he gets.”

“I don’t get sulky!” Changkyun defends.

“Say that to your bottom lip that’s dragging around behind you.”

Changkyun pouts, realises he is, and then sucks his lip into his mouth with a scowl.

Kihyun looks between all of them and sighs. _What a complicated threesome this turned out to be._ He doesn’t even like threesomes to begin with, so why turn it into one?

“I’ll work in my room,” he mumbles and then glances at Changkyun. “Will visit for a little once I’m done, though. If that’s okay.”

Changkyun nods down at his food. And Kihyun looks at his own plate, pokes another broccoli even as he reaches behind with his foot and then hooks his leg around one of Changkyun’s to bring it between his own.

_Don’t get sad. You’re prettier when you’re happy._

Changkyun smiles a secret little smile, glances at him and nods. “I’ll give you some sticky notes to throw at Jeremy?”

Kihyun chuckles. “You know I have good aim, right? Give me the colorful ones and it’ll look like the damn rainbow.”

“That’s gay,” Changkyun jokes.

Kihyun puts his fork down to gesture at himself as he gives Changkyun a look. “Wow! You don’t say!”

Changkyun giggles a little, shoves at Kihyun. “Wah, you’re silly,” he says. “See you in a bit, then?”

“Yeah,” Kihyun says, squeezes Changkyun’s leg between his a little before letting go. “Give me two hours to go over that nightmare,” he says, points at the dossiers.

It takes Kihyun a little more than two hours to go over everything. But it’s still early. An hour and a half before dinner. So, he wanders to the labs.

It’s strange, seeing everyone in uniform give him a look because he’s wearing jeans and a t-shirt. But hey, out of duty means casual wear, something he doesn’t get to do often. So, casual wear it is. And he actually strolls by the offices before going down to the labs just to show the General that he is taking this leave quite well-- _Yes, casually looking casual, Hyunwoo. Bite my ass--Please, don’t, though. Gross._

Kihyun doesn’t have clearance to get in the labs but the doors are unlocked, opening the moment he walks in front of the sensor. There’s a bunch of scientists at one end of the lab, fretting about some papers they seem to be organizing--Changkyun’s doing, no doubt. He totally told them to go organize files just so he can keep them away from the actual research.

Nearby, though, Changkyun sits next to another scientist.

“Hey,” Kihyun says, glances around one last time just to make sure Yoohyeon isn’t nearby.

Changkyun and the other scientist, all blue eyes and curls, look up at the greeting. Changkyun smiles.

“Hey! You came. Thought you fell asleep on all those papers.”

Kihyun rolls his eyes, looks up and sees the ball of water floating close to the ceiling. “Hey, Jeremy.” He greets, frowns. _Yep, I really want to throw things at you..._

“Jeremy says ‘gurgle blurgle’,” Changkyun jokes. “And catch!” Changkyun says, chucks a small block of colored sticky notes at him. “Go mad.”

Kihyun blinks at the notes and wanders towards a chair nearby, plops down and starts rolling the sticking notes into tiny balls. “M’gonna fatten him up.”

Changkyun scoffs. “Have fun,” he says, turns to look at the scientist next to him again, speaks in English. “Sorry, er, this is Kihyun! That co-pilot I told you about.”

Kihyun glances over just as the guy goes, “Oh!” He smiles at Kihyun. “Nice to meet you, I’m McCoy. Jason McCoy.”

“Yoo Kihyun,” Kihyun says before looking up at Jeremy again.

“Yoo? As in… Captain Yoo?”

“Not anymore,” Kihyun mumbles, flicks a yellow ball up and watches it bounce off the ceiling into a cup of water-- _is that water?_ \--nearby. “Tsk.”

“Not _at the moment_ ,” Changkyun says, pointedly. “Jason, did you not know my Kihyun is Captain Yoo? Pretty sure I mentioned that…”

Kihyun frowns at the ceiling. _‘My Kihyun’? Just how many Kihyuns are out there?!_

“Oh, well, it didn’t click?” Jason laughs a little. “I just kept imagining them as two different people for some reason? Ah, I’m dumb.”

“Doubt you’d be sitting on that chair if you were dumb,” Kihyun mumbles, squints at Jeremy. _Imma get you now, you stupid blob of water._

“Honestly? The smartest guy I got,” Changkyun says, gives Jason a squeeze on the shoulder and a smile. “He actually figured out that Jeremy has wiggle settings.”

Kihyun peeks at them and notices Jason’s eyes widen a little when Kihyun frowns. “Wiggle settings? You mean it moves?” Kihyun leans over the desk and stares at Changkyun. “Make it move. That’s like Challenger mode. I wanna hit it when it moves.”

“Hit it when it’s not moving first,” Changkyun says, sticking his tongue out.

Kihyun clicks his tongue and leans back, glares at Jeremy and takes a pink ball of paper. He aims a little and flicks it with too little strength. The pink ball lands on a vial with some liquid inside and combusts into a little flame. “Whoops.”

“Epic fail,” Changkyun says with a deepened voice, before turning to look at the burning piece of paper. “I’m gonna kill that Blake… Barnard… I can’t remember his name, but I’m gonna kill him, leaving his shit around.”

“Barnacle,” Kihyun mutters and he aims at the vial and manages to score a blue paper inside. It burns green. “Wow, what the hell…” He looks at Changkyun. “Did you see that?”

“Told you science was cool,” Changkyun grins, purposefully turning his eyes to slits. He turns to Jason. “Seriously, what the fuck is his name? Barney? No. Blake! No… Shit.”

“Barnes,” Jason chuckles.

“Barnes, that’s it! Still an ass, though.”

“Barnacles,” Kihyun repeats, scores a red paper inside the vial and it burns yellow.

“Henceforth, to be known as Barnacle. A shame, would be a great Kaiju name. And _you_ \--” Changkyun reaches over the table and smacks Kihyun’s hand. “Aim for the blob!”

Kihyun shoos Changkyun away as if he’s bringing him out of focus.

“It’s interesting,” Jason says, smile wide as he looks at Changkyun. Kihyun glances over. “Your voice changes so much when you speak Korean. It’s a little higher and you make all these cute fluctuations. It’s a lot deeper in English.”

Changkyun blinks at Jason, cheeks a little pink. “Oh. Really? I… didn’t notice.”

 _I did,_ Kihyun thinks, looks at the vial and then at Jeremy.

“It’s really nice, though,” Jason adds. “Bet you can make this really sexy tone if you want to. Deep, clean voices are the best.”

“It’s raining compliments over there,” Kihyun says, flicks a blue paper at Jeremy with too much strength and misses before glancing over.

Changkyun’s cheeks flare up completely this time, mouth opening and closing like a fish. “Tha--thank you? Sorry, I’m buffering.”

Jason smiles a little, eyes soft, “Cute,” and then looks at the papers over the desk.

Kihyun frowns and barely notices he flicked a paper until it bounces off something metallic and makes a sound. He looks in its direction and finds a lamp shaking a little.

“You can’t say sexy and then go into cute just like that!” Changkyun laughs, face entirely pink and voice a little high. “I’ll get whiplash.”

“It’s called ‘duality’,” Jason chuckles, notes something down. “It’s probably your middle name.”

Kihyun rolls his eyes so much it hurts. “Do I always have to be present whenever someone is trying to flirt with you?”

Jason seems to go a little pink, too, suddenly, bores his eyes on what he’s scribbling (probably numbers) as he mumbles something between, ‘Wasn’t’ and ‘Trying’.

Changkyun swats at Kihyun again. “Shut up, you act like--” Changkyun blushes even more. “Shush.”

Kihyun leans away from Changkyun’s swatting and flicks another paper. It hits Jeremy and, weirdly enough, floats on its surface, like a world upside down.

“That…” Kihyun blinks. “Is the best shit I’ve _ever_ seen.”

“Glad the end of the world is beautiful, at least,” Changkyun mumbles, leaning closer to his papers. He’s frowning, like he’s trying to will the pink away.

Kihyun bites at his lower lip for a moment and then just rolls with it. “Got to meet you, so yeah.”

Changkyun leans forward even more until his forehead gonks onto the table. “Just… just leave me here…”

Kihyun smiles and flicks a paper at him before glancing at Jason. “That’s how.” And flicks a paper at Jason, too, before looking at Jeremy again. _Gonna turn you into a Christmas tree._

Changkyun slowly raises his head, hands over his entirely red face. “Are you two happy now, hm?”

“Who, me?” Kihyun asks, flicks a pink paper at Jeremy and smiles when it sticks to the yellow one, sees Jason sulk a little in the corner of his eye. “Yep. The happiest.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now playing: [Lay By Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFJbLzEtoZw) by Ruben.


	10. Infiltrators

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If he thinks about it, actually thinks about it, Kihyun knows a lot of things are probably the same for the both of them. Maybe a few are wishful thinking. Others just figments of Kihyun’s imagination. But a few are the same, some quite recent but quite true.

 

Yesterday, Minhyuk passed by the lab with a list of chemical elements, and a small note that read ‘Tomorrow, 23:00, my lab’. So, that’s where Changkyun goes today, if only a little reluctantly, considering how antsy he feels.

It’s only rational to be nervous, and Changkyun has always seen himself as a rational person, ipso facto, he’s really, really nervous. There’s a small vial in his pocket and his hand is wrapped around it, protectively, neurotically, as he walks.

It should work. There’s no reason for it not to. Changkyun doesn’t have confidence in many aspects of his life, but science? Specifically chemical engineering? He has a literal degree in that. He's smart. Really, really smart. So it’ll work.

He knocks on the doors to Minhyuk's lab, making himself small, shoulders hunched, pushing his glasses up his nose with a clandestine glance around. The halls aren’t that busy, and Yoohyeon was already asleep when he sneaked out.

For some reason, as nervous as he is, he can’t help but get a stupid song stuck in his head. Some random action soundtrack. It’s either Mission Impossible or Die Hard, he’s not sure, but it’s catchy.

_Dun dun dundun dun dun…_

The doors slide open and Changkyun is quite literally pulled inside by Minhyuk, who locks the doors the moment Changkyun is in.

“Thank god, you’re here!” Minhyuk breathes.

Jooheon is sitting on a chair nearby. He looks stuck up, like someone who got a pole shoved up his ass. Which means he’s nervous, but hey, join the club. And Kihyun… well, same as usual; jeans, a t-shirt and a resting bitch face (it’s that damn frown, no matter how soft it is, it gives him this _look_ ).

Even so, it's really good to see him. It helps unravel that ball of nerves in Changkyun's chest.

“Hey,” Changkyun says, sits down next to Kihyun, because of course he does. “So… I assume Minhyuk told you?”

Jooheon whimpers softly into his hands. That’ll be a yes.

“I didn’t really grasp the whole,” Kihyun squints at thin air, hand gesturing vaguely, “Chemistry part? But I understood enough.” He drops his hand and looks at his nails, “Disappointed but not surprised.”

“Aren’t you part of the military?” Changkyun says. “Like, literally no offense meant, but you really didn’t know about this? At all? Not even a rumour?”

Kihyun glances at Changkyun and frowns (even more). “Aren’t you your father’s son? Doesn’t mean you knew whatever was going on in his head. Same applies here. The military have different branches, different cells. Some are independent. And we don’t spend our days sniffing at each other’s asses.” Kihyun looks away. “Although, well, I wouldn’t have guessed until Minhyuk mentioned it, this, but… I might know a thing or two. Just didn’t think it was connected to a… Uhm,” Kihyun rolls his eyes and gestures at Minhyuk, “This.”

“Do you guys,” Changkyun asks, looking around. He’s fiddling with his hands but then reaches into his pocket for the vial, clears his throat. “Have a plan yet or? I brought this...”

“Is that the neutralizer?” Minhyuk asks, eyes going a little wide. “Good. Kihyun helped me find those,” Minhyuk says, points at a bunch of micro cameras atop the table. “And Jooheon traced a signal but…” Minhyuk looks at Jooheon.

“But it’s nothing,” Jooheon sighs, slaps his hands over his legs and looks at the laptop next to him. “It’s literally just a field of nothing according to the map. No buildings, no old constructions, nothing.”

“That you know of,” Kihyun mumbles.

“Have you checked Google Earth?” Changkyun asks and the three of them just… look at him. “...What? It was an honest question.”

Jooheon rolls his eyes, “In any case, there’s nothing in our database about this place.”

Kihyun points vaguely at Jooheon but doesn’t look at him. “I think the key word here is ‘our’... database.”

“You want me to hack into the Military database?” Jooheon asks, eyes wide as he lifts his eyebrows. “Would you also like me to go lie on a train track and sing Ave Maria?”

Kihyun ignores Jooheon, looks at Minhyuk, “Who else did you tell about this?”

Minhyuk looks between all of them. “You guys… Just you.”

Kihyun bites at his lower lip and looks at the door. “Send me the coordinates to that place,” he glances at Jooheon. “I’ll go check it out.”

“Er,” Changkyun interjects, not too confidently but it's the interjecting that matters. “Not alone you’re not.”

“Nope,” Kihyun stands up and points at Minhyuk. “You’re coming with me.”

“Me?!” Minhyuk asks, mouth open, and Jooheon just looks worried. “I--I’m not a field agent!”

“No, but you know more about this than any of us,” Kihyun says. “I can’t tell the difference between a Kaiju nail and a Kaiju tongue. It’s _your_ research. We’re just going to take a look. Besides, Jooheon might be right, it might be nothing.”

“Are you going right now?” Changkyun asks without looking up.

“Whenever,” Kihyun shrugs, walks closer to the laptop to look at the screen. “Why?”

“Just a healthy amount of concern,” Changkyun smiles at the table.

Kihyun crosses his arms, eyes still on the laptop. “Either this is a military operation and, if we get caught, Minhyuk gets suspended and I cry and tell them I went nuts inside a Jaeger--probably helps with the disciplinary court… _Or_ , this is a science facility with minimum guard to avoid raising suspicions. And that means an independent cell. Which would be logical considering whoever is behind this most likely doesn’t want to get caught.” Kihyun looks at Changkyun. “Independent cells are easy to get rid of but hard to track down. It makes sense if it’s not on the map. So, unless someone scrambled the signal a hundred times and Jooheon sucks as a hacker, the little dot flashing on the screen doesn’t lie.”

Changkyun smiles soft, sticks his tongue out at Kihyun before turning to Minhyuk. “Glad we got him on our side, huh?”

Jooheon just plops his head down on the table. “I’m not gonna get any sleep for a while… First Kaiju and now this… _Rest…_ ”

Kihyun takes a short breath and walks around the table to pick up the micro cameras, says, “I have something to do first. Let me know when you need me,” and then walks out of the lab.

Changkyun watches him leave and Minhyuk groans.

“This is going to get me killed…” he whines. “I bet there will be shooting and I’m the first person they’ll aim at!”

“Kihyun is a good shot, kept me alive until now,” Changkyun mumbles, sighs. _Why didn't Kihyun want me to go…_ “You’d think I didn’t have enough on my plate,” Changkyun says, getting up. “Oh, the world’s ending! Giant monsters! And hey, just to top it off, bio-weapons! Yeehaw!”

Jooheon reaches into a backpack next to him and brings out another laptop, gestures at Changkyun, “You’re gonna have to help me out.”

“I just wonder who the hell is behind this shit!” Minhyuk throws both arms up and lets them fall by his sides.

“Guess we’ll just have to find out, huh.” Changkyun turns to Jooheon. “Help you with what?”

“I assume this place has a grid I can hack into, if it _is_ a place. It will help me keep possible cameras and alarms from going off, whatever it is your mind-boyfriend wants to do. But…” He taps his foot on the floor and starts typing, opens a few windows on the screen. “Can’t do two things at the same time, dude. You’re gonna be their guide. I’ll feed you info as it comes. Hm, maybe I can get schematics of the place...” He sighs. “Jesus, I can’t believe I’m doing this… Min! If I get arrested--”

“Love you, too.” Minhyuk chirps. Pauses. “Er--”

“--Then at least you won’t die from a bioweapon,” Changkyun says, giving Jooheon a pat on the shoulder, before perking up, staring between the two of them. “You _what now?_ ”

_Also, what the fuck is a ‘mind-boyfriend’ supposed to be?_

Minhyuk blinks. Points over his shoulder. “I’m... going to get changed.”

Minhyuk hurries out and Changkyun keeps hitting Jooheon’s arm, mouth open and staring at the exit. “Dude… _Nice_.”

  
  


At first glance it’s just a field of nothing. Kihyun leans over the steering wheel and crosses his arms, squints at the few lampposts that illuminate the extension of grass just ahead. _What a waste of energy…_

It’s a little hard to pick up anything, though, when Minhyuk keeps flashing the headlights like they’re at the damn disco.

“You know,” Kihyun says patiently, “I’m pretty sure morse code doesn’t include giving yourself away…”

“There’s nothing here!” Minhyuk complains, throws himself back on his seat.

“My gut feeling tells me otherwise.”

“No one cares about your intestinal movements.”

Kihyun grimaces, side-glances at Minhyuk and then reaches for the earpiece to fit it into his ear. He looks at the lampposts again. It makes no sense. But, at the same time, it makes a lot of sense.

 _“Why would the lamps be on if there’s literally nothing going on here, though?”_ Changkyun asks over the intercom. And then, a little softer, _“Is this thing on? Can they hear me? Hello?”_

“It’s on, idiot,” Kihyun mumbles leans back and then reaches over Minhyuk to fetch the taser pulse stun gun.

“This is not how you suck dick,” Minhyuk grumbles, leans back in disgust.

 _“What?!”_ Changkyun and Jooheon squeak at the same time.

Kihyun rolls his eyes, throws the stun gun over Minhyuk’s lap and brings out his own (not stun) gun. “Why? Are you used to pillows, princess?”

“You know… I can’t shoot…” Minhyuk mumbles, slowly picks up the stun gun and wiggles it around, fits his earpiece in with his free hand.

“Just shoot at whoever isn’t me, I don’t care,” Kihyun says, reaches for a small backpack at the back and opens his door, jumps out of the car. “Now, come on.”

It’s chilly, a little humid, so Kihyun zips up his jacket as he watches the mosquitos bump against the lights. There are a few fireflies beaming up and about as well. It’s kind of pretty. _Aren’t fireflies a summer bug, though? Weird._

 _“Found the grid,”_ Jooheon mumbles. _“There are cameras on those lampposts, Imma freeze them in two minutes.”_

 _“Any idea how you guys are gonna get in?”_ Changkyun asks. _“I can start looking for vents…”_

“I’ll just pretend I’m in a video game, then,” Minhyuk says, holding the gun up as if aiming. “Pew pew.”

_“There’s also the sewers…”_

_“I’m voting no on my boyfriend coming back smelling like literal shit, thanks,”_ Jooheon says.

“Eau de toilette,” Kihyun snorts, looks around and notices a dip in the terrain just ahead. “Think I found the front door…”

 _“Are there any people?”_ Changkyun asks.

“No one so far,” Kihyun says. “Say, is there a river nearby? Waste usually gets dumped near watercourses.”

_“Lemme… Yeah, actually. South-west of you.”_

Kihyun reaches for the little compass hanging from his pocket and takes a look. “Alright, we’re gonna check it out.”

“I think I stepped on something,” Minhyuk grumbles.

 _“Are you just going to complain throughout this entire thing?”_ Changkyun teases, Jooheon chuckling lightly before coughing to mask it.

“I plan on it, yes,” Minhyuk grumbles.

_“I’m trying to check… Jooheon, do you think there would be sensors anywhere? Alarms?”_

“Pretty certain about that bit, yeah,” Kihyun says. There’s tall vegetation just ahead, which means a watercourse. He glances over his shoulder and frowns at Minhyuk. “It’s mud, leave it be.”

“It’s in my socks!” Minhyuk hisses.

“It will be in your face if you keep jumping around like that…”

“Ugh,” Minhyuk says, follows after Kihyun, keeps looking at his gun. “I keep thinking something’s just gonna go wrong. I’ll step on a landmine, choppers will descend…”

Kihyun chuckles, shoves some vegetation aside and slides down the riverbank. It looks like a river, but it doesn’t smell like one--not a clean one, at least. Kihyun reaches for the small flashlight on the side of his backpack and turns it on.

It’s barely a river, alright. It looks like Willy Wonka’s chocolate river, but there is no cocoa powder in there. Just opaque brown stirring up the immense flood.

“There’s,” Kihyun makes a face, turns the backpack to Minhyuk, “Vials in there. Take samples and quick-test it for Kaiju bio-material.” He almost gags. “Jesus, this stinks…”

Minhyuk reaches over, but pinches his nose shut as he reaches forward to take a small sample, get out a small piece of paper with little blocks of color on it and dips it into the vial, screws it shut. “Gonna take a few minutes.”

Kihyun looks around but it’s a bit foggy. He watches the water currents and follows the origin with the flashlight, all the way until everything is covered in fog. “How many minutes..?” He asks, slowly making his way through the muddy shore. Thank god for combat boots.

“Three, four. Although, I’ll eat my own pants if there _isn’t_ any Kaiju bio-material in here…”

“Well, you can just say I took you on the worst, smelliest date of your life,” Kihyun says, jumps over a branch and frowns when his foot drowns in more mud. “Ugh.” He looks over his shoulder. “Careful, that mud is soft, don’t trip.”

“Already the worst date of my life, really didn’t need to include all this smelly shit…” Minhyuk holds the vial up to the light, and after a few minutes, says, “Yeah, positive. Don’t stand in the water too long, by the way...”

 _“Guess Minhyuk won’t have to eat his pants, after all.”_ Changkyun sighs. _“A shame, I was looking forward to it."_

“Is that a kink, Im Changkyun?” Kihyun teases, “Or do you just want him to be naked?”

 _“Skirts are more my thing."_ A pause. " _Ignore that.”_

 _Ah. Right. Skirts._ Always good to have a friendly reminder.

“Don’t say that too loud,” Kihyun snorts, “Jason might hear you and show up wearing one tomorrow. How’s Jason, by the way?”

“Who the fuck is Jason?” Minhyuk asks.

_“Ugh, a guy from my lab… Kihyun doesn’t like that he’s flirting with me, apparently.”_

“What?” Kihyun says, barely affected, “Never said I didn’t like it.”

 _“You like that he’s flirting with Changkyun?”_ Jooheon scoffs. _“Alright…”_

Kihyun frowns when he notices a shift in the fog. The shore is squeezing in, too. “If Changkyun likes it, then I guess I don’t mind..?”

Changkyun groans loudly. _“I don’t even know why everyone keeps--! Can we change the subject, please?”_

 _“Thought you were straight, though?”_ Jooheon asks. _“No offense.”_

_“Offense taken.”_

“So sensitive,” Kihyun mumbles, “Hey, this ‘river’... Is it like… underground or… ‘Cause I’m pretty sure there’s an underground bunker sitting on it.” And indeed, what seems to be just a small entrance, covered in bars with an enormous amount of water flowing by, turns out to be quite a few meters high. Kihyun looks up, feels Minhyuk bump against him. “Bingo.”

“Yay,” Minhyuk says with absolutely no enthusiasm, hands the backpack over to Kihyun.

 _“A bunker?”_ Jooheon asks. _“Huh. Heavily reinforced? I was expecting more of a research lab, although, I guess, military research lab…”_

“Yeah,” Kihyun says, reaches for the bars and tries to shake them but nothing budges. “This might be a little more risky than I thought it would be…”

 _“See! I was rationally worried!”_ Changkyun squeaks.

Kihyun rolls his eyes. “Shut up and tell me about the blueprints. What do you see?”

_“Well, there are vents throughout the building. You’d think they’d keep those safe after all those Spider-Man movies but no…”_

“Well, I’m a soldier and so far no radioactive spider bit my ass,” Kihyun grumbles. “This entrance. Where does it lead? Does it go under something? Look for a big division, a big room. The biggest one.”

 _“Is that a kink, Yoo Kihyun?”_ Changkyun teases, and then hums. _“There’s a pretty big boy at the north side of the building. Looks like it’s underground, though.”_

Kihyun snorts, “Sometimes you talk and I just wonder…” He gets closer to the bars, slowly takes his backpack off and slides one leg between them, slowly and carefully wiggling his way in.

“Uhm,” Minhyuk clears his throat, “We’re going in through the pipes?”

Kihyun stumbles a little when he manages to pass through between the bars. “So it would seem.”

“Do you even know--” Minhyuk grumbles as he tries to pass through as well, “A way out of here?”

“I’m a professional,” Kihyun says and then snorts. “When you can’t find a way out, you make one.”

 _“You know, you actually sound pretty cool right now,”_ Changkyun laughs, starts humming what sounds like a theme song. _“Dun dun, dundun dun dun…”_

Kihyun rolls his eyes, helps Minhyuk slip through, “Worst case scenario, I’ll just sell Minhyuk out and run.”

“Hey!” Minhyuk says, shoves at him a little. “Wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for me!”

 _“Kind of the point, dear,_ ” Jooheon says.

_“It’s just a quick in and out, okay? No fighting, you two.”_

Kihyun elbows Minhyuk, “Quick in and out?”

Changkyun laughs. _“I swear to God…”_

The big tunnel gets larger and larger the further they walk in. And the smell? It just gets worse. There’s a small sidewalk on each side of the tunnel but no presence lights, which means no maintenance and, hopefully, no guards.

The tunnel opens into a huge chamber, the walls--half naked rock, half polished steel--lined with some computer equipment and electronic meters, machines that blink and flicker with a life of their own--which means, maintenance, at least.

Minhyuk gapes around. “Wah, this place is huge! You could _store_ Kaijus here. Oh, god, that’s not what they’re doing, is it?”

Kihyun frowns, looks around. There’s no one here, just them and the sound of water running. Kihyun steps closer to one of the computers and blinks at it. It’s all just numbers. “Can you make sense of this?”

“Uhm,” Minhyuk says, squinting as he walks closer. “Looks like basic readings. Water flow, pressure, blah blah.”

“Hm,” Kihyun looks around and looks up. There are gigantic pillars around them. Minhyuk’s right. They could store more than one Kaiju in here. “Hey, Jooheon.”

 _“--can you--”_ Static. _“Shit, I think you might be too deep--”_

_“That’s--she said--”_

Kihyun rolls his eyes. “If you can hear me then start looking for a possible power source. We might need you to shut it down.”

_“--Did! It’s--generators, though--”_

_This is inconvenient._ Kihyun sighs, starts looking around for a door or something. “Send me a Nav point before we get cut off. Maybe I can turn it off from the inside.”

_“Will--okay, sent.”_

“Thanks,” Kihyun says, looks at the pager and watches it flash.

_“Hey--careful, okay?”_

Kihyun glances at Minhyuk. “Yeah. We’re going radio silent now. Will try to connect when we get further up.”

  
  


“There has to be _some_ way to boost the signal,” Changkyun insists, pouting as he types on the laptop.

Jooheon scratches his head. “There _is_ but it’s military equipment. I can’t just put up a requisition for that and say, ‘oh yeah, we’re infiltrating a... whatever this is’!”

 _Radio silent_ . “I don’t like this at _all,_ ” Changkyun grumbles. The pager is still online, though. It’s a small assurance, at least.

Jooheon sighs, leans back and takes a breath before he leans forward and starts typing again. “Their security system is pretty tight. I gotta run a new sequence every eight seconds. It just keeps rebooting the systems to kick me out…”

“And that’s not gonna tip them off? Last thing we need is an ambush.”

Jooheon pouts a little, squints at the screen as he types a new line of code. “I might be using a military encryption… Don’t tell anyone. It might get me fired. And arrested.”

“Who would I tell?” Changkyun smiles softly, keeps staring at the screen. “Only person I’d tell is part of this.”

“Hm,” Jooheon clears his throat, “So, this… _thing_ between you. Platonic Drift feelings? Or am I missing something…”

“Not missing anything,” Changkun says. _Even though sometimes it feels like it._ “Why? Didn’t you call us ‘mind-boyfriends’, earlier?” Changkyun laughs.

“Was just teasing,” Jooheon grumbles. “Just asking. You seem good for each other. Whatever your relationship might be.”

“And whatever _you_ might be betting on. And yes, I know about that.” Changkyun taps at the screen a little, like that’ll help.

“Shit,” Jooheon grumbles. “They have another layer of security. An AES? No way I can get past that shit…” He leans back on his chair and frowns at the screen. “Dude, this is some serious shit… Imma… try to steal their camera feed and conceal us as friendly…”

Suddenly, a sound and then a voice; “And what are the two of you doing?”

Jooheon and Changkyun jump around in their chairs and stare at Shownu. Shownu, who’s looking at them like he just caught them doing something naughty.

“Hanging out!” Jooheon says.

“We’re just friends!” Changkyun says. What the fuck.

“So,” Shownu starts, walking closer, and Changkyun notices Jooheon reach back to startup the save screen, “You wouldn’t happen to know where my chief of the Bio department might’ve ran off to. Would you?”

“He’s… Out to the city,” Changkyun says, smiling. Who even knows if it reaches his eyes. “With Kihyun. Making friends, all that jazz.”

Shownu stops just two meters away from them and glances at the screensaver. “I see. I assume you would tell me if there was something important happening? Say,” Shownu glances at Changkyun, “You lot doing something you’re not supposed to be doing?”

Jooheon looks at Changkyun, and he’s always had a very _open_ face. Not good for things like this. “What gives you that idea?”

“My comms chief and my bio-engineer hanging out in the bio lab?” Shownu glances up and nods. “That, for starters.”

“Important people can be friends, too,” Changkyun defends. And oddly enough, he _wants_ to tell Shownu. He’s known him for years, would go as far as to say he honestly trusts the man, but… _You never know._

“Ah, I see,” Shownu nods slowly turns to walk away. He scratches at the back of his head as he exits the lab and says, “I wonder if that comms booster is still in the warehouse below… Hm.” And the door slides closed.

Jooheon looks at Changkyun. Changkyun looks back.

“Did he just…”

“Help us.”

Changkyun nods slowly. “I think he did… Wanna go get that booster?”

Jooheon scrambles up, points at his laptop, “Keep an eye on that. If it starts typing weird coding just unplug everything, smash the laptop, I don’t care! I’ll be right back!” And with that said, he runs, almost bumps against the door when it doesn’t open in time.

Changkyun laughs a little and then turns to stare at the computer.

 _Mind-boyfriend_ . It’s stupid. Even Jooheon asking about it is stupid. They _are_ platonic. They’re best friends. Hell, he’s showered with the dude and it was barely awkward.

Then again, there’s an advantage to the Drift. Kihyun’s seen himself naked a lot, and therefore, so has Changkyun. Not that he… thinks about it. Tries not to, at least.

Changkyun sits up straight. _Tries not to? What the fuck, Changkyun?_

He shakes his head as if to clear it, stares at the screen, at the blueprints. Maybe something pops up. Who knows. If only he weren’t so damn distracted trying not to think about Kihyun.

“Ugh,” Changkyun grumbles, pats his cheek.

 _‘I met you, after all_.’

Kihyun was just trying to outflirt Jason. It’s no big deal. As much of a small deal it is how much comfort Changkyun seems to find with Kihyun. It’s trust, not… not whatever else. And even if it was! Changkyun has seen the man’s ex-boyfriend die! An ex-boyfriend that was never even an ‘ex’, just dead. Kihyun is here because of him, feels guilt because of him, so no, even if Changkyun _did_ like Kihyun…

...Which he’s… starting to think he might be doing… A bit...

But even if he did! Even if he sometimes feels a lot happier after Kihyun smiles, or laughs… happy about how soft his hair is, how kind his eyes look… Even if...

“ _Ugh,_ ” Changkyun groans, head on the table. “This is Jooheon’s fault…”

The door slides open and Jooheon wheezes as he rushes in with a contraption in his hands. “I’m back!” He says, throws a few cables on the table along with a strange electronic device. “Okay this is going to connect us to the antenna,” he points at the ceiling. “Our guys are monitoring those comms but we can’t give too much away. Then again,” Jooheon takes a deep breath, looks at Changkyun, “If the General is helping us, he might stall them if they come up to… What’s wrong with your face?”

Changkyun picks his face up a little and glares. “It’s _platonic_ , dammit!”

Jooheon blinks. “Uhm… Okay..?” He sits down. “Is that why you’re so red?”

Changkyun smacks his hands over his cheeks. Sure enough, they’re warm. “You--You put images in my head, okay! And it turns out I’m not entirely opposed to them! Now, can you _please_ plug that thing in before they die in a sewer?”

Jooheon looks at the cables and starts connecting them. He keeps glancing at Changkyun, though, “You know… Platonic is fine… Don’t stress it, really. Not everything needs to be… Well,” Jooheon shrugs, “You know.”

“You’re saying ‘you know’ a lot. Bold of you to assume I know anything.”

“I think,” Jooheon clears his throat. “He thinks you’re straight. Which, in his defense, not that he needs it, I thought so, too.”

“I thought you were joking… You really thought I was straight?” Changkyun frowns. “ _Kihyun thinks I’m straight_?! He’s been in my head!”

“Fair enough,” Jooheon shrugs. “The Drift doesn’t make you an oracle, though.” He glances over. “How many guys have you seen Kihyun have sex with in the Drift and how many guys do you actually think he’s done it with?”

Changkyun frowns even more, feels oddly… uncomfortable. “I don’t wanna see that stuff…”

“There you have it. Besides, straight dudes are allowed to appreciate hot dudes. Just because you think someone is aesthetically pleasing, not saying I think Kihyun is, but also… maybe? Yeah, my point stands,” Jooheon says, smiles when his laptop makes a beep noise and a new window pops up. “I’m in!”

“That’s what she said.” And looks up. “Right, that’s why you think I’m straight.”

“That,” Jooheon counts as he types, “The skirt talks. And you did have sex with a girl so…”

“Yeah, but like. _Bisexually_.”

“You had sex…” Jooheon pauses for effect. “Bisexually.”

“Look, when you say it like that--" Changkyun fails." Just connect us, okay! And warn me before you do, I don’t wanna be talking about this in front of Kihyun, god…”

Jooheon snorts. “Honestly? I don’t think he’d mind. He knows about the bets we have. I thought he’d get angry, but nope.”

“He likes being talked about, I think,” Changkyun mumbles. “Never gonna get over this straight thing, I swear…”

“The curse of bisexuality,” Jooheon chuckles, clears his throat again. “So, Jason, huh?”

“Not you _too_ ,” Changkyun groans. “He’s sweet, okay? But…” _But what, you useless gay?_

“It’s like… Leave some for us, Kyun,” Jooheon snorts.

“You have a boyfriend! Who said ‘I love you’, if you remember, because I do.”

Jooheon blushes a little, taps enter and Changkyun sees a bunch of images pop up on the screen. “Welcome to the camera feed,” Jooheon says rather cheerfully despite the red cheeks.

Changkyun immediately moves closer. “If we can see them, can they? I hope not.”

“We can, they can’t,” Jooheon says. “I added a delay, they’re two minutes behind, which means I can erase in time. So, keep your eyes open.”

Changkyun barely blinks, stares at the screen. So many hallways… There! Changkyun points. “I saw movement. Sneaky movement.”

“Camera number?”

“Five! Oh, thank god...” _They’re okay._

“Erased _and_ connected,” Jooheon says, leans closer to the microphone. “Hey, can you guys hear me?”

_“Jooheon, I shot someone!”_

“What?” Jooheon jumps a little. “Min, are you okay?”

 _“He’s fine, he tasered a guy five times,”_ Kihyun says.

 _“You gotta make sure!”_ Minhyuk says.

“You guys are actually close to where you need to be,” Changkyun says.

_“Yeah? Good, ‘cause I might not be able to knock out the next one--Minhyuk, point that somewhere else, you’re scaring me.”_

_“So--”_

_“Shh!”_

On Camera v02, Changkyun sees a guy walk up a corridor. He gets knocked out just as he turns away from the camera, though, and then Minhyuk drags the guy to a wall as Kihyun takes point at the next corner.

_That was kinda hot._

_…Platonically_.

_Definitely bisexually._

“Well done,” Changkyun says, though, after his little moment. “Uhm, I should tell you, Shownu came in here… Pretty sure he knows what we’re doing. Helped us get the booster to be able to talk to you guys.”

 _“Ah, yeah,”_ Kihyun mumbles. His voice sounds a lot deeper than usual when he talks low,  Also platonically, objectively an attractive quality to notice. _“I kinda… dropped the micro cameras on his table and told him a thing or two… Nothing much.”_

 _“You sold us out?!”_ Minhyuk hisses.

_“Hyunwoo is a good guy, I trust him with my life so…”_

_“And mine, apparently!”_ Minhyuk hisses again.

“It’s fine,” Changkyun says lowly, heart a little tight. “I trust him, too… If he was gonna do anything to stop us, he would have. Instead he helped. So it’s okay. Take the next right, by the way, should be at the end of the hall.”

 _“Hm, thanks.”_ Kihyun says.

 _“By the way, not all that many guards. A lot of scientists, though. Passed some freaky rooms, stole a pass key,”_ Minhyuk says like he’s telling a story.

“Nice!” Jooheon says.

_“Watched Kiki single handedly disarm a guy twice his size… I helped, obviously. Tasered him. After he was knocked out. Just to make sure.”_

“Wait, what kind of freaky?” Changkyun frowns. He wants to ask if Kihyun’s okay, but _obviously_ he is. Ugh, still Jooheon’s fault...

_“Lots of plants, some really big rats and--”_

_“They have guards stationed inside every lab,”_ Kihyun explains, _“Never more than four. And the patrols walk alone, for some stupid reason. I think this is running on minimum personnel, like, the less people know the better.”_

 _“Also,”_ Minhyuk whispers, _“Most of the scientists are French. A few German, too. Only the guards seem to talk in English but they all have an accent, it’s hard to tell.”_

Jooheon frowns, glances at Changkyun. “So… Europeans? I expected Americans. Or Russians.”

“Brexit really fucked them up,” Changkyun shrugs. “I don’t know.”

 _“I have one of their guns,”_ Kihyun says, _“We can trace it once we’re back, though I doubt it will connect to any known organization. But maybe we can find the manufacturer.”_

“Just focus on contaminating their samples and getting back here before whoever it is decides to take it out on South Korea…” Changkyun pinches at his bottom lip, pulls it a little. It’s gone well, so far. Anything could happen and it makes a sense of worry, perhaps even protectiveness, sit heavy in his lungs, making them weigh onto his stomach. _Ugh..._

 _“Two guards at the door,”_ Kihyun mumbles.

_“Kihyun, there are three guns stored in those pants--”_

_“Four.”_

_“What? Look, don’t--”_

_“Stay here, idiot.”_

Changkyun’s eyes widen and his heart tightens. “Don’t go in there alone, you--!”

 _“I am not making a sound!”_ Minhyuk says in a tiny voice, like an ant screaming at the intercom.  
  


 

Every footfall echoes around, not loudly, but enough to give Kihyun away the moment he walks closer. His heart is a little loud in his ears, even more when one of the guard glances at him and frowns.

“You,” the guard says, catching the other guard’s attention.

 _Me,_ Kihyun thinks, keeps walking closer. Too close and he dies. Too far and he dies. If he doesn’t die, he’ll get badly injured and die anyway. Or… Well, so many possibilities.

“Show me your hands!” the guard closest to him says, raises his gun.

Kihyun bites at his lower lip, keeps walking closer, slowly raising his hands. When he’s just two steps away, though, Kihyun moves slightly to the side, one hand raising and going under the guy’s arm, wrist to wrist, as his other hand pushes the gun to the side.

Disarmed, the guard struggles for his other gun, but Kihyun pushes him against the guard behind him, keeps pushing them until they hit a wall. The guard at the back hits his head and Kihyun takes the chance to throw the guard in front of him down and slam the gun handle hard at the back of his head.

When he turns to the remaining guy, though, something smashes against his forehead, hard. Kihyun stumbles back with a gasp and then there’s a loud, resounding _bang_ , a sharp sting on his arm that makes his senses sharpen with adrenaline.

There’s just a loud heartbeat in his ears when he manages to take the guy down even as he struggles. Kihyun locks an arm around him as they lay on the floor and squeezes as he counts to himself, _one, two, three, four--_ The guy keeps struggling. But then Kihyun feels his arm get cinched in tightly and he counts again.

At six, the guy goes limp.

At seven, Kihyun lets go and groans as he melts onto the cold floor.

 _“Oh my god, are you okay?!”_ Changkyun sounds over the intercom. _“That was awesome_ ! _And terrifying!_ ”

“Fi--Fine,” Kihyun huffs, raises a hand in a thumbs up for no reason at all. He’s tired.

_“You’re bleeding… Min, get that door open.”_

“How do you know I’m--” Kihyun sits up, watches Minhyuk run closer and then notices the camera in the corner. “Oh. Hi.”

 _“Hi,”_ Changkyun laughs, sighs. _“Shit, that was… anyway.”_

“Don’t let any of that blood fall on the floor,” Minhyuk hisses.

Kihyun blinks at the scratch on his arm and moves it closer to himself as he gets up. It’s bleeding a tad too much but it’s just a scratch. “This place is a lab, just throw bleach on the floor.”

Minhyuk waves the pass key over the sensor and the doors slide open. Kihyun glances over and frowns before his eyes go a little wide.

The room is empty. A circular counter full of computers, strange readings, a tank full of a substance that looks like fuel and--

“It’s a brain,” Minhyuk says, gapes at the bigger tank in the middle of the lab. “Guys? There’s a Kaiju brain in here. A secondary brain.”

“ _What?! How is it still alive? Is it alive?_ ”

“I think so, yeah,” Minhyuk mumbles as they walk in. “It’s in a tank full of ammonia and it’s… connected to… I don’t know. Is this Kaiju blood?”

Kihyun glances over his shoulder, looks at what Minhyuk is pointing at. “Maybe… That looks like a dialysis machine. They’re filtering the blood to feed the brain.

 _“What would they need a Kaiju brain for?”_ Jooheon asks, sounding scared.

_“Try not to linger too much, guys…”_

Kihyun looks back at the smaller tank in front of him. Reinforced? A grenade won’t detonate it. “Hey, Minhyuk… I think I found what you’re looking for…” _It looks pretty diluted._ Not colorless, not really, but… Maybe it’s not perfected yet.

 _“God, I hope that fucking thing works,”_ Changkyun mumbles. _“Any way you can transfer any data from those computers?”_

Kihyun gestures at the tank for Minhyuk too look into and then walks to a computer nearby. It just looks like a bunch of nonsense, weird readings. “I’m afraid this will explode if I touch it, to be honest…” He touches it anyway and a screen comes up. Kihyun tilts his head. “Password?” He glances around the room. _Password? Pass. Word. Interesting agglomeration of letters._

_“Joo?”_

_“I can send you a cracker but it will probably trigger the alarms after a few seconds,”_ Jooheon says.

 _“Don’t risk it, then. Just add the damn…_ thing _and get back here.”_

“I’m on it!” Minhyuk says.

Kihyun keeps looking around, sees the lab coats hanging on the wall, next to a few protection glasses. “I think I know how we’re getting out of here…” He looks at the cupboards and starts going through a few. _Bleach, bleach bleach, inflamable, blablabla._ “Minhyuk, grab a lab coat when you’re done. Put it on.”

_“Are you seriously going to roleplay yourselves out of there?”_

“Panic roleplay, more like,” Kihyun says, grabs a few bottles of whatever it is, it just says highly flammable so that’ll work.

Minhyuk injects the serum into one of the tubes connected to the tank and the substance immediately starts changing colour. He steps back slowly and then turns to grab one of the lab coats he quickly puts on as Kihyun bathes the floor with whatever flammable liquid is inside the bottles he found.

“Are you going to burn this building down, Yoo Kihyun?!” Minhyuk gapes.

“No, I just wanna get out without getting in trouble. Pretty sure they have a fire system, anyway,” Kihyun mumbles, stops by the door and looks at the guards. “Help me drag them a little, don’t want them to accidentally turn this into a barbecue,” Kihyun says as he starts stripping one of the guards of his coat.

 _“Should we leave the brain there…?”_ Changkyun asks, then. _“Alive, I mean… Don't think we should…"_

“Nope,” Kihyun says. He dresses the guard’s coat, takes his machine gun and then helps Minhyuk drag them back a few feet. “When I say, start running and screaming ‘fire’...” Kihyun tells Minhyuk before giving a quick run to the front of the lab. He looks at the brain, watches it poke a few tentacles against the glass, and raises his hand gun. “Jooheon,” Kihyun takes a breath. “After we run, let the cameras roll.”

 _“I’m scared to ask, but what did you do for the CSIS?”_ Jooheon mumbles.

“International relationships,” Kihyun says, snorts a little and takes the shot.

It goes through the tank that quickly starts dripping, glass slowly cracking all the way up. The gunshot sounds loud in the building. Kihyun points the gun at the floor and takes another shot. The fire starts quickly, so Kihyun packs the gun and starts running.

“Go, go, go, go!” He says, shoving at Minhyuk when he passes by. He kicks lightly at the guards on the floor as they pass by, just in case.

Minhyuk does a decent job at screaming, “Fire!” and looking panicked as they pass a whole squad of guards and _just keep running._

The fire alarm sounds. A few people start evacuating the labs and Kihyun pushes Minhyuk into the middle of the crowd

 

 

“I got it!” Changkyun announces as he walks in with a first aid kit in his hand.

“Remind me,” Jooheon clears his throat as he leans back on his chair, closes his laptop, “To never piss you two off. I already knew Kihyun was a piece of work, but damn…” He throws his earpiece over the table and slides down the chair with a groan. “Ugh, I think I lost years of my lifespan in these past four hours…”

“I hate to admit this, Kihyun, but that was pretty cool,” Minhyuk laughs.

Changkyun plops down next to Kihyun and opens the kit. He seriously needed to sweet talk his way into getting this thing from the medbay… Had to actually _flirt_. Flirt! At! Someone! Terrible!

“Arm,” Changkyun says, wiggling his fingers for said arm. “Gimme.”

Kihyun barely looks at Changkyun as he puts his arm over the table, rolls the sleeve of his shirt up to his shoulder. “I should probably file a report, though… I don’t know. It’s weird not having someone to report to.”

“Here’s your report,” Changkyun says, moves closer and takes Kihyun’s wrist to put it on his lap instead, dabbing at it with a cotton ball with probably too much antiseptic on it. “ _I kicked ass. It was awesome. Also gave Dr. Im Changkyun a fucking heart attack_.”

Kihyun rolls his eyes, “You stress too much…”

_Maybe..._

“Seriously, though,” Jooheon glances over. “What the hell was your job before you joined us?”

Kihyun snorts, shakes his head. “I worked for the--”

“CSIS, so you’ve told everyone. CSIS-Intel, right?”

Kihyun bites at his lower lip and looks at Changkyun’s hand holding his wrist. “Intel needs field agents. Scouts. Operatives. That was mostly it.”

“ _Kihyun_ ,” Changkyun jokes in a deeper tone. “ _Yoo Kihyun. Martini, shaken not stirred. License to frown._ ”

Kihyun smiles a little, glances up at Changkyun’s face and then looks away. “Not that fancy, I’m afraid.”

“Speaking of,” Minhyuk chirps, sits on a chair and rolls it to a table to pick up a few clean vials before moving closer and propping them on the table they’re using. He reaches down, opens one of the cupboards and brings out a bottle of whiskey. “Who wants in on this?”

Kihyun pouts as he raises his free hand a little. “I’m… not on duty… So…”

“That’s a yes, then,” Changkyun laughs, smoothing a plaster over the small wound, before cleaning the small cut by Kihyun's hairline. His heart skips a little when Kihyun glances over for a moment, their eyes locking for a just a second before Kihyun looks away.

Minhyuk grins as he serves the four vials with a _generous_ amount of whiskey. “Here ya go, friends,” he says as he hands one to each one of them.

Kihyun takes his glass, places it next to him as he takes two smaller empty vials and serves two small shots. He clinks his own on both of those and then takes a drink, shivering a little, eyes scrunched when he swallows. _“Ah_ , that was nice…”

Changkyun frowns a little, and when he takes his own drink, it burns like a _bitch_. “How is that nice?!” Changkyun coughs, hand to his throat.

“It’s numbing, tastes nice and,” Kihyun pokes lightly at Changkyun’s stomach. “Warms you up.”

“I have an idea,” Minhyuk says, plops down from the chair onto the floor, legs under the coffee table.

“Oh, _no_ ,” Jooheon says. “That’s never good.”

“Shhh, dumpling bottom, this is good, I promise. And you guys get to decide what we do! Truth or Dare, or Never Have I Ever.”

“Uh,” Kihyun blinks, “I don’t like either of those games.”

“Then I say both! Since we need an extra vote,” Minhyuk grins and Kihyun just drinks like that will actually help.

“No, no, no, stop it,” Changkyun says, pulling Kihyun’s arm down. “Gonna play a game now.” He looks to Minhyuk. “I haven’t played either of those! So, both!”

Kihyun forces the arm closer to himself and Changkyun knows he could actually pry himself away if he really wanted to. “I’m gonna need to drink for this…” Kihyun says.

“That’s the point of the game, you silly billy,” Minhyuk says. “And you have to vote, Ki, it’s the rules that I just made up.”

“Never Have I Ever,” Kihyun mumbles.

Jooheon clears his throat. “Truth or dare. It’s _way_ more exciting.”

“Don’t you think we’ve had enough excitement for one day?” Kihyun grumbles.

“Then _you_ \--” Minhyuk pokes at Jooheon. “Can start! Truth or Dare?”

“Let’s start easy,” Jooheon grins. “Never Have I Ever,” he hums for a moment. “Thrown up after seeing someone else throw up.”

Changkyun leans in to whisper to Kihyun. “Do you drink if you’ve _done_ the thing or if you haven’t done the thing?”

“If you’ve done the thing,” Kihyun mumbles and then drinks.

Changkyun pours a little whiskey into his glass but doesn’t drink. Minhyuk drinks.

“Mmm, Elixir of the Gods… Okay, okay, my turn,” Minhyuk says, hopping a little. “Never have I ever…” Minhyuk laughs. “Had sex with a girl!”

“That was targeted,” Changkyun grumbles, reaches for his drink and throws it back. He shivers with his whole body.

“There, there,” Kihyun pats at Changkyun’s shoulder. “You can get him back.”

Changkyun coughs. “Yeah! Never Have I Ever had sex with a _guy_. You bastards. All of you!”

All of them drink without a word.

“Well, now I just feel bad,” Changkyun grumbles.

“Never have I ever…” Kihyun mumbles, squints a little at his empty glass, “Actually laughed out loud when typing ‘LOL’.”

Changkyun and Jooheon both take a swig, and Changkyun shivers again, sticks his tongue out and blinks heavy.

Minhyuk and Kihyun lean forward to fist bump.

“Old men,” Jooheon says, sticking out his tongue. “Is it the Truth or Dare round now?

“Apparently,” Kihyun says, reaches for the bottle and fills his vial up a little.

“Kay,” Jooheon says, puts a fist to his chest and makes a funny face for a second. “Ugh, okay, so,” Jooheon squints around. Changkyun can barely see his eyes. “You--” Jooheon points at Kihyun. “Didn’t vote for this game, so suffer. Truth or Dare?”

Kihyun scrunches his nose a little. “Truth…” He pauses. “No wait! Dare.”

Jooheon looks at Changkyun, looks at Kihyun, grins and says, “Smooch his cheek.”

Changkyun turns to glare at Jooheon. _No fair!_

Kihyun makes to rolls his eyes but doesn’t. He takes a drink, places the glass down and then leans closer, presses his lips against Changkyun’s cheek before slumping back down. “There,” Kihyun mumbles.

“Ah, fan service,” Minhyuk sighs blissfully, and then giggles. “Kyunie’s blushing.”

Changkyun smacks both hands over his cheeks. “I am not!”

“If it was a pretty girl, he’d have exploded already,” Kihyun snorts, looks at the bottom of his vial. “You sure you cleaned these?”

“No, you’re gonna die in ten hours, live yo’ life,” Minhyuk laughs. Changkyun frowns at Kihyun though.

This guy seriously thinks he’s straight, doesn’t he?

“Ah, you’re a pretty girl, too, Ki,” Jooheon says, words slurring a little. “Your turn!”

Kihyun points at Minhyuk, “Truth or Dare?"

“Mm,” Minhyuk says, grins. “Truth. Hit me with it, Cap.”

“Hm,” Kihyun narrows his eyes, smiles a little. “Are you in love with Lee Jooheon?”

Changkyun makes to smack at Kihyun. “Aish, that would be cruel as heck if he weren’t.”

“I am, though,” Minhyuk says, actually getting a little pink, smiles at Jooheon before reaching out to pull him down in next to him on the floor. “I am, I am, I am,” Minhyuk says, with little kisses to Jooheon’s cheek.

Kihyun blinks and then looks at the ceiling with a little smile. “Okay?”

Jooheon is red. Like a tomato. “Love you, too…” He mumbles.

“Aw!” Changkyun coos, pouting, taking hold of Kihyun’s arm to shake him a little. “That’s so _cuuuute_.”

Minhyuk laughs, rolls his eyes. “I know, we’re the cutest. So, Kyunie, Truth or Dare?”

“Er,” Changkyun considers. He’s a little tipsy, he can feel it. Maybe rambling on about the truth might not be the best idea… “Dare?”

“I dare you to…” Minhyuk glances at Kihyun and then looks up, “Sit on my lap.”

Changkyun’s features scrunch up in amusement. “What, seriously?” He gets up. “Oooookay. How long?”

“Until the next question is done.” Minhyuk grins, stretches his legs and pats on his lap.

Changkyun rolls his eyes and plops down on Minhyuk’s lap, makes a face at Minhyuk when he pulls him closer and bops his knees up and down. Jooheon just grins.

“Aish,” Changkyun grumbles. He puts an arm around Minhyuk’s neck to steady him and hums. “Mmm, Never Have I Ever…” He bites at his lip, frowns, looks at Kihyun and swallows a little, looks away. _Shit, I can’t stop thinking about it…_ “Never have I ever…” Changkyun pouts. “I don’t know…”

“Change to Truth or Dare?” Jooheon asks, takes a sip from his vial.

Changkyun pouts a little more. “Ugh, I’m bad at this… But okay…”

Minhyuk rests his head on Changkyun’s chest. “Oh, loud heart you have there.”

Changkyun laughs a little. “Yeah…” _Wonder why_. “Kay, uhm, Joo? Truth or dare?”

“Uhm, dare!” Jooheon chirps. His eyes look like they’re disappearing. Meanwhile, Kihyun is serving himself a third round.

Changkyun grins wide. “I dare you to… Say something nice to me.” Changkyun sticks his tongue out.

“You’re very pretty,” Jooheon says, raises his glass.

Changkyun laughs, ears pink, and turns to Minhyuk. “Great. Can I get off your lap now?”

“Must you?” Minhyuk pouts.

“Yes,” Changkyun wiggles out of Minhyuk’s grip. “Leggo!” And laughs as he crawls over to Kihyun’s side of the room, stays on the floor, though, cheek against Kihyun’s knee.

“Truth or Dare!” Jooheon says loudly.

Kihyun doesn’t look down at Changkyun but reaches out to thread fingers through Changkyun’s hair. Changkyun’s shivers a little.

“Dare,” Kihyun says.

“Hey!” Minhyuk whines. “You did dare last time, you wuss.”

“Dare,” Kihyun repeats like he’s on a loop. Changkyun scoffs a laugh and Jooheon rolls his eyes.

“Dare it is, then. Mm,” Jooheon squints (like squinting any more is possible). “I dare you to… Undo Minhyuk’s pants with one hand. Show me skill, man.”

Changkyun’s stomach twists like a restless snake. He frowns and shifts like that’ll help.

Kihyun rolls his eyes and places the glass down, waves Minhyuk closer and then narrows his eyes when Minhyuk gets up. “How many buttons do those have?”

“You’ve got some weird kinks, Joohoney,” Minhyuk laughs. “I like it. And only two, Kiki.”

Minhyuk gets closer and lifts his shirt a little over the hem of his pants. Kihyun makes a face, one eye more open than the other as he reaches over and undoes one button and then the other with one hand before shivering and withdrawing his hand like he just got burned.

“I don’t like this game,” Changkyun mumbles under his breath. _Is that what he did with Nate? With all those other guys?_ The twist in his stomach feels a lot heavier and he just reaches out for the bottle, doesn’t even pour anything, just takes a drink from it. “Ugh,” he says, putting it down.

“I feel like I need to wash my hand,” Kihyun mumbles, raises his hand up like it’s suddenly contagious. _That would be great, thanks_.

Jooheon glances at Changkyun who glares a little. Jooheon just shrugs, gestures at Kihyun. “Go ahead, you talented, badass lil bean, you.”

Kihyun reaches for the bottle, puts his hand inside the vial and pours. “There. That works.” He brings his hand out and wiggles it, takes the vial and goes back to petting Changkyun’s head with his other hand. Changkyun pouts a little, nuzzles in more.

 _Shit,_ Changkyun thinks with terrifying clarity.

“Great, but no, I meant it’s your turn, you dumbo.”

Kihyun sighs. “Never have I ever kissed on the first date.”

“What was Nate, then?” Minhyuk snorts.

“Obviously, _not_ a date,” Kihyun mumbles.

“So one-night stands don’t count?” Changkyun asks, eyes on the bottle.

“You still took her on a date, though,” Kihyun says, ruffles Changkyun’s hair.

Changkyun pouts. “Fuck it,” he says, picks up the bottle and takes another drink. So does Minhyuk. And then, after some hesitation, so does Jooheon.

“Alright,” Minhyuk claps. “Kyun! Truth or Dare!”

Changkyun’s body feels heavy, and he’s comfortable where he’s sitting, so whatever. “Truth…”

“Who!” Minhyuk chirps, “From the people in this room, would you like to see in a bikini?”

“Oh god,” Jooheon laughs.

Changkyun laughs, too. “Mmm…” And shrugs, brain mushy with alcohol. “Kihyunnie.”

“Seriously?” Kihyun snorts a laugh. “Jesus…”

“They’re dating, I’d feel bad ogling,” Changkyun giggles.

“I was actually going to ask, out of the people in this room, who do you most want to make out with but then I remembered you’d probably have to pick Kihyun,” Minhyuk blabs. “So a bikini is a lot less incriminating.”

Changkyun lifts his head, squints. “How’d you know mah squicks?”

Minhyuk raises an eyebrow. “Do you wanna make out with me or Joo?” He asks and the hand on Changkyun’s hair stills for a moment.

“Wha? No,” Changkyun grimaces.

“See?” Minhyuk laughs. “Process of elimination.”

Changkyun blushes. “Default is Kihyun, then, s’not fair.”

“I’d look great in a bikini!” Minhyuk says dramatically.

Kihyun moves his hand away from Changkyun’s head. “I think I’m going to have nightmares… Minhyuk in a bikini, Kaiju in bikini… Jesus, now that’s is a horrific--” he laughs a little. “Image.”

Changkyun laughs, too. “I’m--I’m imagining it, it’s _great_.”

And then he imagines Kihyun in a bikini and it all goes downhill from there. “Next question!” Changkyun squeaks, blushing, and scrunching his eyes closed. This is all just… alcohol and Jooheon’s stupid questions!

“I think I’m going to bed, if y’all don’t mind,” Kihyun mumbles. “I’m tired. It’s almost four.”

“I don’t wanna go back to my room,” Changkyun pouts, heart loud in his ears. “I’ll wake Yoohyeon up…”

“Doubt she’d mind,” Kihyun says and as he gets up, Changkyun’s head slips from his lap. He pulls his knees up against his chest and props his chin on them.

There’s no reason to be sad. There’s no reason to miss Kihyun, because he’s right here, he sees him all the time. There’s no reason, besides the obvious, but that’s… irrelevant.

“G’night, then…” Changkyun mumbles.

“Goodnight, silly,” Kihyun says softly. “Good work today, guys.” He says and then turns to walk away. “Hopefully, it won’t come back to bite us in the ass.”

“We saved lives, today,” Minhyuk says, raises his vial. “Whatever happens, we saved some goddamn lives…”

“Well,” Kihyun says just as he steps outside, “Someone once told me you don’t need to be inside a Jaeger to make a difference out there.”

Changkyun pouts a little more, closes his eyes against his knees. “Smart guy…”

“Best guy,” Kihyun says and then he’s gone.

Changkyun hugs his legs a little closer. It’s comfortable, warm. His head is spinning and his heart is loud. It’s all so stupid.

"It was supposed…” Changkyun says softly. “To be platonic…”

“Oh, Kyun…” Jooheon says and then Changkyun feels an arm around him.

Changkyun sniffles. “Shut up, I’m drunk…”

“Yep,” Jooheon chuckles. “Yes you are.”

“Who cares if it’s not, though?” Minhyuk asks. “We joke. But… You do you, Kyun.”

Changkyun lifts his head to look at Minhyuk. “You forget, I’ve been in his head… I know how he thinks, and feels. And I’m not it.”

Minhyuk looks at Jooheon and then at Changkyun. “Maybe… But you’re stupid if you think you’re not special to him. And believe me, it’s got nothing to do with those ninety something percent you’ve got going on.” Minhyuk points at the two little shot vials on the table. “That guy, Nate, realized it, too.”

“What?” Changkyun frowns, reaches up to wipe at his face. “Ugh, doesn’t matter, I’ll just get over it. Seriously, it’s fine.”

“If you say so,” Minhyuk shrugs, gets up and clinks his glass on the two shot vials Kihyun had filled up. “For absent, people. That’s a thing these military dogs do.” He smiles. “Pretty neat, if you ask me.”

Changkyun huffs a small laugh, reaches for a vial. “For absent people, and living another day, for them, and for yourself.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Jooheon chuckles.

“ _Well_. Time to sneak into my own room.”

“I’m actually surprised you didn’t go after him,” Jooheon says, points at the door. “I mean… Platonic or not? It’s important, right? And he did get shot at, so…”

Changkyun sighs softly. “I don’t wanna impose… But I did want to follow him,” Changkyun shrugs. “I offered? Did I? I can’t remember, I feel like I offered…”

“You said you didn’t want to go back to _your_ room,” Minhyuk snorts, starts putting the vials away, “Not that you wanted to go with him.” He looks at Jooheon. “How can I say this without thinking anything sexual?”

Jooheon rolls his eyes, “That’s because to you that’s code to bang. The smols are different.”

“Don’t let Kihyun hear you.”

Changkyun laughs softly, again, wobbles as he stands up. “I’m… gonna go to my room.”

“Noted,” Jooheon salutes the two of them, “I’m going into Minhyuk’s bed, sir.”

“Have a good time there, my dude,” Changkyun salutes back, and walks away. He uses the walls to steer, chuckles because you don’t _steer_ down hallways… Do you? Hmf. Changkyun keeps his hand on the wall, though, and then he’s staring down two hallways. Left. Right.

Right is his room.

Left is… better.  
  


 

Kihyun throws himself over the bed and sighs. _Bliss. Pure bliss._ He managed to brush his teeth without gagging on the toothbrush--a feat, considering he almost fell asleep twice--and put on fresh new clothes after a quick shower without stumbling and falling. Because yes, he’s rather good with alcohol, but whiskey on an empty stomach? _Doom._

His head swims a little even as he keeps his eyes closed. He wonders how people use drink as a coping mechanism. It gets sickening after a while. And Kihyun hates being sick. More than overthinking, he hates feeling sick.

It takes him a few minutes to realize he’s lying the wrong way around, though. He frowns when his feet poke at the pillow. He brings it up between his legs, thinking, _The fuck is this?_ And then remembers, _Ah._ A pillow. But instead of turning around, he uses his feet to throw the pillow over his head.

Maybe he’ll die like this, between pillow and mattress. There are worse ways to go. So, with that in mind, he thinks.

Truth or Dare games are silly because Kihyun always picks Dare. Which is exactly the opposite of what his therapist told him to do. Yet, old habits die hard.

He’d eat a sandwich, though. That’s a Truth.

 _Knock knock knock_.

Kihyun frowns, raises his head under the pillow and feels it flop to the side. Did he hear that or was it in his head?

“Hey…” another weaker little knock. “Truth or dare?”

Kihyun blinks, feels the corners of his lips tip down and lets his head fall on the bed. _Dare,_ he thinks automatically. But when he flops around, looks at the ceiling, he says, “Truth.”

There’s a pause, another small knock. “Do you… Miss me, too?”

Kihyun bites at his lower lip when his chest squeezes a little. But then he huffs a laugh. _‘Too’?_ So, he says, “Yeah… I do…”

“Okay,” Changkyun says from the other side of the door. “S’your turn…”

Kihyun takes a deep breath and slowly sits up. “Truth or Dare?”

“Trare,” Changkyun huffs a laugh. “Duth… I don’t know, I’m bad at this, you pick…”

Kihyun rolls his eyes and gets up, slowly walks to the door and hesitates just a little on the sensor lock. He hesitates because part of him says, _you shouldn’t._ But when Kihyun asks himself ‘why’ he doesn’t get an answer.

Maybe it’s not his answer to give.

“Truth,” he says. “Wanna come in?”

“Yes, please…”

Kihyun waves in front of the sensor lock and it beeps. The door clicks and he reaches for it, slides it open without looking, eyes cast down. “Won’t someone else worry about you?”

Changkyun stumbles a little, having used, Kihyun supposes, the door as a support structure. “I don’t know. Don’t think so.”

Kihyun glances up, rolls his eyes fondly. “You’re drunk…”

“Yep!” Changkyun agrees, putting a finger up. “Waaaaait. Are you drunk?”

_Not anymore, no._

“A little,” Kihyun says. “Are you going to stand there or…”

Changkyun giggles. “I’m _barely_ standing…” And flops forwards onto Kihyun. “Mmm, worm.”

“Worm?” Kihyun grumbles in indignation as he closes the door, one arm reaching around Changkyun’s waist to hold him.

“Waaaaarm. Did you shower? Smell nice.”

“Yeah, it’s a thing I do,” Kihyun snorts, tries to drag Changkyun into the room. _He’s heavier than I remember… Or maybe he’s just too drunk._

“Do--don’t _sass_ me,” Changkyun whines. “I have a delicate emotional constitution.”

Kihyun laughs. “A what?” He holds Changkyun with both arms and lifts him up just enough to drop on the bed. “You better not puke.”

“I’m not pukey,” Changkyun grumbles, flops around like a fish. “I’ma take my pants off. No funny bush--busyness.”

“Funny bush,” Kihyun snorts, turns to sit down on the bed. “Are you giving yourself away, Kyunie?”

Changkyun smacks at him a little. “I said _no_ funny bush. So. Yes.” And giggles, wiggling himself out of his pants. Are those… Calvin Kleins?

Kihyun leans back just a little to stare at Changkyun’s boxers. “So… CK wears CK?”

“Yes!” Changkyun throws his jeans across the room and Kihyun follows their trajectory with his eyes, “Thank you! That is my most expensive joke! I’m so glad you got that!”

“No one’s ever this eager to get rid of their pants,” Kihyun jokes, glances over. “Want a clean t-shirt?”

Changkyun’s got his sweater pulled up over his head when he says, “Pwease.”

A stupid little stray thought wiggles forward but Kihyun frowns and snaps it away. “Alright,” he says, gets up and reaches for the mountain of freshly washed shirts he’s go over the chair. He throws one at Changkyun.

It lands on his face, over the sweater still there.

“M’stuck,” Changkyun says.

_You gotta be fucking kidding me…_

Kihyun rolls his eyes, walks back to the bed and sits down. He pulls Changkyun by the wrist to sit up as well. “Come on, you idiot. Look at this mess.” He grumbles, pats at the arm Changkyun needs to bring down.

“I _can’t_ look,” Changkyun whines. “I’m--” And laughs. “Feeling under the _sweater_. Geddit?”

“I fucking hate you,” Kihyun snorts, bites both lips in when he does and wiggles his fingers around the collar to bring it over Changkyun’s head. “There… free.”

Changkyun’s hair goes all static, and when he smiles, eyes closed, the first word that comes to mind is ‘dopey’. Kihyun reaches for the clean shirts, figures out which side is front and which is back, and fits it over Changkyun’s head, helps him bring one arm in and then the other.

“And here I thought I’d never have kids…” Kihyun mumbles. “Dad of the day.”

“Don’t joke about that,” Changkyun grimaces, falling down with a hand on Kihyun’s arm, eyes still closed. “I’m drunk, I’m not a baby.”

Kihyun raises an eyebrow. “Baby.”

Changkyun’s eyes open and he blinks at Kihyun with pink cheeks. He opens his mouth to say something, but then shakes his head and squishes his face into the pillow. “Tired.”

Kihyun rolls his eyes, pokes at Changkyun, “Roll over, silly…”

He does, gonks against the wall. “Ow. What is spatial awareness.”

Kihyun sighs, flops down and feels his body melt a little. Beds are a blessing, really. And roll call is in just a few hours. He’s going to hate it, the world.

Changkyun wiggles, turns to his side and moves down a little, squishes his cheek against Kihyun’s chest like a pillow. “You’re my favourite.”

Kihyun stares at nothing, frowns in amusement. “Your favourite what?”

“Person,” Changkyun yawns, nuzzles. “My favourite hooman.”

Kihyun’s eyes widen a little and then he rolls them. He moves his arm a little (it just hurts a bit, considering the bullet scratch) and lets his fingertips run soft over Changkyun’s scalp.

If he thinks about it, actually thinks about it, Kihyun knows a lot of things are probably the same for the both of them. Maybe a few are wishful thinking. Others just figments of Kihyun’s imagination. But a few are the same, some quite recent but quite true.

“You’re my favourite, too,” Kihyun mumbles. And when all he hears is Changkyun’s slow breath, he frowns a little. For some reason, for the first time, he doesn’t feel guilty thinking it. What changed? He can’t tell. Not even when he searches his mushy mind for something. So, he sighs, plays with a few strands of hair between his fingers and closes his eyes. “You better not die out there…”

_Because I don’t feel like finding a new favourite person again. And I definitely don’t wanna toast to you._


	11. Equal, Not Opposite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s funny, this… falling business. One moment he’s unaware of it, the next he can’t stop thinking about it, and the next Changkyun just lets himself drown in it.

 

Changkyun dreams of the future. He’s not sure if it’s months or years from now, but it’s sunny and there’s a beautiful, sleeping red fox on a rock. The enclosure is only glass. Changkyun’s leaning over a railing, smiling with the sun on his face, and when the fox looks up, Changkyun feels arms around his waist.

He doesn’t have to look around to know who it is.

And when Changkyun wakes up, he doesn’t need to open his eyes to know where he is.

The wake up call sounds and the arms around him squeeze a little, pull Changkyun closer into a hug. And then Kihyun buries his nose in Changkyun’s hair, takes a deep breath and goes limp, like he just fell asleep again.

Changkyun bites his lip, clearly trying not to smile too wide. Maybe there was a reason he dreamt of sunlight. Because everything feels warm right now, from his skin to the core of his soul, if he has one.

Changkyun squeezes at Kihyun, too, accepting this situation with open arms. He… remembers wandering to Kihyun’s room, drunk, trying to take his pants off, saying some… sappy shit. Playing Truth or Dare. Blushing a lot. Getting jealous. A lot of stuff for one night.

Changkyun raises his face a little just so he can see Kihyun’s sleeping face. It pulls a little at his heart; Kihyun is adorable. Platonically or not, Kihyun is just… _beautiful_.

 _Ugh_ , Changkyun thinks, nuzzling his face in. _Ignore the thoughts, find the warmth._ He mumbles something under his breath (his mouth is dry as _fuck_ , Jesus…) and it miraculously sounds like, “Guess we’re sleeping in, then…”

“You kept me up until late,” Kihyun mumbles, squeezes a bit like he’s trying to get comfortable. “So, I’m keeping you for thirty more minutes.”

“Keeping me?” Changkyun smiles, voice soft. “Cute... Guess I’m the teddy bear, now.”

“Mhm,” Kihyun mumbles, brings a leg from under the covers and throws it over Changkyun to cling more to him. Changkyun’s chest feels so _full_ , what the fuck... “Whatever you say…”

Changkyun reaches with an arm to pull the covers over them again, face against Kihyun’s chest. Against warmth and a beating heart that accompanies a steadying breath.

It’s funny, this… _falling_ business. One moment he’s unaware of it, the next he can’t stop thinking about it, and the next Changkyun just lets himself drown in it.

He closes his eyes with a little yawn. Kihyun still smells nice… “Kay.”

So, for the next thirty minutes, they stay still, breathe slowly. Changkyun doesn’t really fall asleep again, he keeps bouncing between being mildly awake and drifting off for a few seconds every now and then, but stays awake, because he wants this… He wants to remember this.

And, as if a clock just went off (he probably has an internal clock, no kidding), Kihyun stretches a little after thirty minutes and lets go of Changkyun to sit up.

“ _Nope_ ,” Changkyun laughs, throws his arms around Kihyun and pulls him down again.

“Ugh,” Kihyun huffs as he falls back. “Stop it, you know I can’t fight it…” He whines even as he lets Changkyun cover them again.

Changkyun giggles a little, throws _his_ leg over Kihyun this time. “Haven’t played with your hair yet. It’s like the secret sleepy cuddle button…”

Kihyun groans a little even as he curls into a ball under Changkyun’s limbs. “You’re so stupid… Don’t you have work to get to?”

“Maaaaaybe,” Changkyun says into Kihyun’s hair. “Not very relevant at the moment… Also, I think I’m mildly hungover. Have pity.”

Kihyun moves his head to look up at Changkyun and their faces are so close it’s almost disturbing how little Kihyun seems to mind, if he minds at all. He glances away, turns away to reach under the bed and bring out an energy drink. He lets it fall between their faces. “There ya go.”

Changkyun laughs. “Where do you keep finding these things…”

“I trade favours for those,” Kihyun mumbles.

“Yikes, do I wanna know?”

Kihyun raises an eyebrow. “You’re so fucking nasty! Is that really how you see me?” He laughs and shoves at Changkyun a little. “Asshole.”

“It was a joke!” Changkyun laughs. “Seriously, a joke, please don’t kill me.”

“Just drink the damn thing before I choke you with it,” Kihyun scoffs and sits up again. His hair is doing something funny at the back, like gravity really doesn’t matter. “Say, have you given Hyunwoo the predictive model yet?”

Changkyun sits up and reaches out to try to flatten the hair, but it just poofs back up. “Yep. Just before I came over for Mission Impossible or whatever.”

“Hm,” Kihyun says, looks at his arm like he suddenly remembered there’s a bandage there. He scratches at the edges just enough to grab a piece of the bandage and pull it enough to take a peek. “I guess engineers really are good at fixing things…” He mumbles before he rubs his hand over the bandage to glue it back on. “You fix the Jaegers, you fixed me and now you’re fixing the world.”

Changkyun opens the drink, glances up. “That’s… quite the pedestal you’ve got there…”

“Is it?” Kihyun gets up and stretches again. “I mean… you’re still an asshole,” He looks over his shoulder and smiles a little. “That hasn’t changed.”

Changkyun rolls his eyes, takes a sip. “You’re never gonna change your mind about that, are you? I’ll have you know, I’m an asshole in rehabilitation.”

Kihyun snorts. “That… Is one of the weirdest things I’ve ever heard.”

“A weird, idiot asshole. Right next to my name in the Yoo Kihyun dictionary.”

“Maybe if you weren’t a weird, idiot asshole, I wouldn’t like you this much,” Kihyun mumbles as he pads to the locker and brings out some clothes.

Changkyun puts a hand to his chest in a fist, falls back like he’s been shot. “I… I got hit… Right in the feels…”

“You did call me a dick, though,” Kihyun says, pulls a sweater over his head. It’s so weird seeing him in casual clothing.

“I like dicks,” Changkyun says, for _some goddamn fucking reason Jesus Christ..._

Kihyun raises an eyebrow but doesn’t look at Changkyun. “Okay? Should I say thank you? I’m not sure,” he chuckles, reaches for his jeans.

“You’re not a dick, though,” Changkyun says. “Not--not that means I _don’t_ like you, I’m just--you’re nice. You’re… good.”

“Calm down,” Kihyun laughs, shakes his head. “You’re stumbling all over the words. It’s like it’s hard to say,” He hops a little as he pulls his jeans up--it’s _unfair._ He has really nice, thick legs.

Changkyun pouts at himself and kicks the covers off. His own legs aren’t exactly _thick,_ but they’re nice enough, right? He doesn’t mind them, but…

He smacks his face. Every thought is a bad thought, all of them.

“ _Hard_ to say, huh,” Changkyun jokes, squints around the room. What is it with him and losing his pants… “You know, the last time I left someone’s room at this time of the day, rumours spread like a wildfire.” _Ah, there it is!_ Changkyun pushes himself up-- _is this Kihyun’s t-shirt?--_ and stretches as well.

Kihyun walks into the bathroom and wets his hands before combing his fingers through his hair. “Doesn’t bother me if it doesn’t bother you.” He pauses, squints at the mirror and then looks at Changkyun. “Does it bother you?”

“No,” Changkyun says, looks away a little as he blushes, bends down for his pants before stepping into them. “If anyone asks, though,” Changkyun grins, looking over his shoulder. “I have it on good authority that I’m great in bed.”

“Oh god,” Kihyun groans. “Aish… Jesus. Okay. Noted.” Kihyun makes a face at the mirror and then walks out of the bathroom. “Also, you bottomed. I am in these bets and I need to make some money.”

And, the blushing is back.

“You bet that I’m a bottom?” Changkyun gapes, red in the face.

“In a hypothetical scenario, yeah…” Kihyun chuckles. “Didn’t give it much thought, to be honest.”

Changkyun narrows his eyes. “ _Fine_ . But I top next time. _Hypothetically_.”

Kihyun looks at him and raises an eyebrow. “Okay?”

“ _Thank_ you,” Changkyun says, laughs like that’ll quell the blush and the nervous feeling in his stomach. “Hell of a way to start the morning. And don’t look at me like that, I’ve been in your memories."

“Great memories, right?” Kihyun teases as he sits down to put his boots on. “Sorry if it’s not your thing. But at least now you can judge.”

Changkyun sticks his tongue out at him, bites it back as he tilts his head at Kihyun. “Jooheon said a funny thing, last night, actually.”

“He’s usually just hilarious,” Kihyun says sarcastically.

“Relating to the context, Kihyun,” Changkyun laughs, shifts a little. “You don’t really think I’m straight, do you?”

Kihyun pauses. He squints at his bootlaces as he finishes tying them. When he lets his foot down, the sound of the boot hitting the floor is a little loud. “Are you?” he asks.

“Well, no,” Changkyun shrugs, looks down at the shirt. Should he just keep it on? Where’s his own damn shirt. “Just because I’ve never been with a boy doesn’t mean I’m straight, you know.”

Kihyun looks at Changkyun as if contemplating the subject and then shrugs, nods. “True.” He gets up, fixes his sleeve. “Sorry for assuming… It’s just that you’ve never… mentioned. Despite the usual mental shivers at my tank-top shirt...”

_Shit. He knows…_

_Of course he knows, Changkyun!_

Changkyun shrugs again. “I just… Don’t really care? What people think I am or whatever, but you’re not people, so. And I thought you should know, what with all the cuddling,” Changkyun teases. And for some reason, Kihyun flushes a little, blinks really fast.

“I wasn’t…” He looks up, eyes a little wide. “I didn’t mean… Sorry…”

Changkyun tilts his head, frowns. “Huh?”

“Like!” Kihyun looks up. “It wasn’t like that… It was just…”

“Oh!” Changkyun flushes, too, holds his hands up. “I know! I know, it’s fine.”

“Is it?” Kihyun asks. His shoulders slump a little but he keeps his eyes on the ceiling. “‘Fine’, I mean…”

“Why wouldn’t it be..?” Changkyun asks, suddenly nervous.

“I don’t know? That’s why I asked,” Kihyun huffs a laugh and looks down. “Shit, now I feel awkward.”

“Ah, don’t be,” Changkyun says, walking over to ruffle Kihyun’s hair, knowing full well that Kihyun had _just_ fixed his hair. “So, do you want this shirt back? I think I’ve stretched it a bit.”

Kihyun rolls his eyes. “Smooth way of saying you have bigger shoulders, _ass.”_

“Oooh, you noticed? I’m flattered.”

Kihyun shoves a little at Changkyun, shakes his head and laughs. “Keep it. I have plenty. I’ll wash yours and give it back to you by the end of the week.”

“Thanks,” Changkyun smiles, reaches for his jacket. “And hey, straight or gay, co-pilots or not,” Changkyun holds a fist up. “Still gonna annoy the shit out of you.”

Kihyun smiles and his eyes go soft. And of course he doesn’t need to look up to bump his fist on Changkyun’s with a little, “Boom.” Not because it’s Kihyun. But because it’s them.

  


  


“Where the hell were you?” Yoohyeon asks from the top bed the moment Changkyun walks in. she’s pouting, _a lot._

Immediately, Changkyun feels guilty. He kicks off his shoes and sighs, can’t look up. “I… Got a little drunk, with some friends of mine, ended up crashing with--with a friend.”

“Okay…” Yoohyeon says, slumps down and the bunk bounces. “Thought you should know we’ll have our first Drift in two days. Test, only.”

“That’s a bit… comfy.” Changkyun frowns, walking over to his locker. “Like, you’d think they’d speed it up, what with the Kaijus...”

“Makes sense, though… Imagine something goes wrong in the test… Better it happens then than when we’re facing a Kaiju.”

“Yeah,” Changkyun says, folding the shirt after pulling it over his head, glancing back. “Why aren’t you at breakfast..?” He smiles a little. “Don’t make me worry about you.”

“I was waiting for you, actually,” Yoohyeon says, jumps from the bed and stretches and little. She has her hair up in a bun. It’s funny because with the way she dyed her hair, only the bun looks red. She looks up at Changkyun and smiles a little. “Thought we could eat together.”

Changkyun’s heart warms a little. “Course. Just gonna take a quick shower,” he says, walking backwards. “Nice bun,” he jokes. “Looks like you’re a lava lamp.”

“Eheh,” she makes a peace sign but her smile quickly dims a little and she looks down. “Changkyun… Can I ask you something..?”

“If you do it while I shower. Seriously, I smell like… Minhyuk’s lab.” _And Kihyun, and it’s kind of fucking me up a little._ Changkyun leaves the door open a little as he turns the shower on. “But yeah, go ahead.”

“Do you not like me?”

Changkyun’s heart sinks a little, and he quickly puts his head under the water. “I… It’s not like that, Hyeon. I do like you, really.”

“Okay…”

Some silence. Enough for Changkyun to scramble to shower as fast as he can, washing his hair and rinsing it.

“Look,” Yoohyeon says with a sigh, “I know I’m not… Yoo Kihyun. But I worked really hard to get here and… I’m happy I got to be compatible with someone nice? But somehow I feel like I’m not good enough… And out there? Out there we have to be good enough. I don’t wanna be just the ghost girl you Drift with. I wanna be your co-pilot.”

Changkyun hops out of the shower, eyes burning a little, towel over his head and stepping into his boxers and jeans as fast as humanly possible before opening the door completely to look at Yoohyeon. “I…. really wanna hug you right now. Lemme just--” he puts a finger up, looks around for his shirt but Yoohyeon pouts, eyes a little wide and just tackles him.

Changkyun’s heart jumps a little and he squeezes lightly, arms around her waist. “You’re great, really. I’m sorry I’ve been such…” He laughs, because yeah, maybe he is one. “Such an asshole.”

Yoohyeon laughs a little. “It’s okay. Also! You’re still all wet.”

“Oh yeah?” Changkyun says, shakes his head like a dog and laughs when it sprays on her. She screams a little high pitches and jumps back in a defensive position before plopping down on the floor.

“Sorry…” She pokes at the floor. “It’s just… I saw all the other Rangers act like the twin brothers and sisters and I just… felt a little lonely.”

“I get that,” Changkyun admits, holding out his hand to help her up. He sighs a little, then, ruffles at his hair when he looks for his shirt and pulls it on. “It’s… hard to explain, but I can, if you want? Although I suppose you’ll find out soon enough…”

Yoohyeon blinks. “Please, tell me?” She smiles. “I like chatting.”

Changkyun huffs a laugh, sits down to put his shoes on. “ _Well_. Okay, uhm. I’m sure you know I’m not a soldier. Like. At all. Didn’t exactly come here thinking I’d be a Ranger. Probably wouldn’t have come then, if I’d known.”

“Yeah… I’ve heard.”

“I scored _really_ high with Kihyun. And again, that’s not your problem, shouldn’t be, at all, but… I don’t know.” Changkyun laughs, the oddest feeling in his chest. “We kind of hated each other, Hyeonnie. Like… The two of us are off to a _great_ start compared to me and Kihyun.”

Yoohyeon blinks at Changkyun, frowns. “You... _hated_ each other? That’s a little hard to believe.”

“He still calls me an asshole. It’s a thing we do,” Changkyun shrugs. “But yeah, I said some bad shit to him, he said some back, we were thrown into a room together, and all that but… But when we Drifted? It felt… safe. That’s a difficult thing to find in a world like this. And once we got over our shit, talked like adults, understood each other, we got close.” Changkyun sighs again. “I mention this because… There are things you do, sometimes? And you don’t know why? And then you look back one day and you’re like, ‘ah, shit, that’s why’. When I realised we were all gonna have to go out there and fight? I was terrified.”

Yoohyeon crouches, hugs her knees as she stares at Changkyun with worried eyes.

“So, _my dumb ass_ ,” Changkyun says, poking Yoohyeon’s forehead. “Wanted comfort. And who was I gonna get that from? Not Kihyun, that’s for sure, he still kinda hated me and I felt awkward asking for any sort of comfort so I...” Changkyun pouts a little. “I went on a date. You know Hwasa, from Engineering?”

“Yeah, she’s really cool!”

“She is!” Changkyun says, smiles. “Seriously, it was an awesome date, I had a great time. _But_ ,” Changkyun says, rolling his eyes. “It was missing something and I couldn’t figure out what that was. I was a dick, she liked me and I… needed someone. Only realised just now that ‘someone’ might be a bit more specific…”

Yoohyeon frowns, pouts a little and then her eyes widen and she gasps, clasps a hand over her mouth and points at Changkyun. “You! You’re in likes with Yoo Kihyun!”

Changkyun’s heart does a somersault and he shushes her in his panic. “Not so loud! The walls have ears!”

Yoohyeon covers her mouth with both hands, eyes wide as she nods very fast and mumbles a muffled, “Mmkay!”

Changkyun blinks. “Is that… okay? I mean, Kihyun’s a boy…” It’s the year 2029 and homophobia still exists in concentrated amounts, like poison.

Yoohyeon blinks a little and then lets her hands fall, gets up really fast and runs to her locker to fetch something.

“Is that a no, or…?”

“Catch!” Yoohyeon says, throws a heart shaped locket at Changkyun. Changkyun catches it with surprising ease--maybe Kihyun’s reflexes are rubbing off on him--and frowns a little when he opens it. “Wait, you--” And looks up, mouth open, eyes wide. “Is this your girlfriend?!”

Yoohyeon grins and winks. “Yep! Pretty, right?” She slaps her own cheeks. “And such a good dancer…” She sighs.

Changkyun laughs, smiles down at the picture. “Yeah, she’s gorgeous. I had no idea. Definitely taking _this_ as a yes, though.”

Yoohyeon fetches the locked from Changkyun’s hands to stare at it. She pouts. “I miss her a lot.”

“Is she in Korea or..?”

“Yes,” Yoohyeon nods, smiles small. “Her name is Kim Bora. She’s a dance teacher. And one of the reasons why I do what I do.”

Changkyun swallows a little, nods. “Kihyun, too. Not--not me, someone else, someone… lost.” Changkyun sighs. “I’m still sorry, though. Being--” Changkyun shivers. “In likes is no excuse.” He gets up. “Breakfast?”

“Well, now at least I don’t feel bad,” Yoohyeon giggles, gets up as well. “Breakfast!”  


 

  


It’s different and the same. Different because Kihyun has never seen Rogue Fox be prepared for a team he wasn’t part of. The same because he’s seen countless Jaegers be prepared for a test run.

He’s had a lot of time on his hands lately. So, of course, he’s here, too, now. On the other side of the hanger, watching the engineers cover Rogue Fox’s heart just before the test run.

Funnily enough, most of these people didn’t think they’d be miracle workers. All their résumés said was ‘engineer-this’ or ‘engineer-that’. And yet, saving the world only happens thanks to the ‘this’ and ‘that’s. Like, what the hell is chemical engineering? And yet, it’s quite literally what’s saving their asses at the moment.

Yet, Kihyun doesn’t have that. And all he can give, all he can contribute comes down to his skill both as a soldier and a potential Ranger. And right now? He’s neither of those.

“You’re hurt,” General Son says after, as usual, materializing himself out of nowhere just to fill in the silence in Kihyun’s head.

“Cut myself shaving,” Kihyun mumbles, watches the little sparkle of metal once the chest plating locks into place with a few mechanical clicks that ressound through the garage.

“Must have been a big razor.”

“Discardable.”

Hyunwoo chuckles. “I assume it has nothing to do with the strange dossier on my desk?”

Kihyun squints. “Is the strange dossier on your desk titled ‘I shave my arms’?” He doesn’t shave his arms. But this conversation is starting to take a turn to the moronic, so he might as well go with it,

“There’s a footnote on it.”

On the steel bridge leading to the Jaeger’s Conn-Pod, Kihyun sees Changkyun pulling at Yoohyeon’s hair. Literally pulling it with this stupid grin on his face.

Kihyun frowns a little. _An asshole._ “I assume… someone was listening in to our comms?”

“What comms,” Hyunwoo asks casually.

“Dunno…”

“Intel dropped the ball,” Hyunwoo says, clears his throat. “Was told it was some sort of military raid. Apparently, it was just a few guys.”

Kihyun bites both lips in. To be honest? A crazy biologist, a smartass engineer, a worry heart hacker and a bored soldier..? Quite the army.

“Your intel sucks, then,” Kihyun mumbles.

The staff starts clearing the hanger. Only a few people keep running around, datapads in hand, as they check some last minute readings.

“Ah,” Hyunwoo says, then, eyes on Rogue Fox. “You really wanna be in there, don’t you?”

Someone shouts, “Clear!” and it echoes through the garage.

Kihyun frowns, stares at the reactor on Rogue’s chest. “It’s quite literally what I signed up for… Like this I’m just… Useless.” He shifts a little. “I’m working on it… I think, hope? Whatever.”

“Working on it,” Hyunwoo repeats. “Mind working on it in Moscow?”

Kihyun blinks and quickly looks at Hyunwoo. “What?”

“My intel, as it is, points to Moscow.” Hyunwoo glances over before simply looking out at the Jaeger. “I wouldn’t mind having one of my most trusted soldiers go and… visit. Make sure everything’s in order.”

Kihyun’s heart squeezes a little. He looks at Rogue Fox just in time to see the reactor heat up as the vent spins. _So loud. So beautiful._ “You…” _Shit._

“Will make sure you have a Jaeger to return to, Captain. If you choose to go.”

It’s stupidly heartwarming. To the point it gives Kihyun some whiplash. He doesn’t know if he wants to laugh, cry or scream at someone.

Rogue Fox shakes as the systems come online, hydraulics resonating through the metal complex. The chest plating adjusts, arm plating does the same, which means it’s running a quick diagnosis as the Neural Handshake initiates.

Kihyun knows he should be in there. Not just because it’s where he wants to be, but because he promised. But he doesn’t deserve to be in there right now. And that is the truth. Because being a Ranger is a responsibility. It’s not about being a hero or going out there to die. It’s about doing what needs to be done. And hoping to come back, even if in the end they don’t.

“I don’t have a co-pilot at the moment,” Kihyun says. “So… unless you can beat someone into submission and have them be Drift compatible with me… I doubt I’ll get to pilot.”

“You’ll test with me,” Hyunwoo says, glances over with a small smile. “I am sure you won’t fail. But no,” Hyunwoo looks forward again. “I don’t need to be beaten into submission, thank you.”

Kihyun turns to gape. “You’re… For real? What changed?”

“Im Changkyun changed,” Hyunwoo chuckles. “I… I said I would never set foot in a Jaeger again. But Changkyun said the same thing, and yet, there he is.”

Kihyun bites at his lower lip, glances at Rogue Fox. She raises an arm, fingers curling into her palm and then her other arm. It’s so stupid that the one person who didn’t want to do this, any of this in the first place, is out there doing more than anyone else. And yet… it’s also kind of inspiring.

“Im Changkyun changes a lot of things, apparently,” Kihyun says. “Did you know he talked the cafeteria into using another type of coffee? It’s ten times stronger, I can’t drink that shit.”

“It’s because I didn’t give him his own espresso machine,” Hyunwoo sighs, reaches up to pinch at the bridge of his nose. “I will… talk to the kitchen. And order a damn coffee machine.”

Kihyun huffs a laugh. Looks at Rogue Fox one last time and then sighs. He really wishes he could be the one in there right now. But wishing gets people nowhere. Now, _doing_ is an entirely different story.

“So…” Kihyun turns around, crosses his arms, “Moscow?”

“Yep. Hope you’ve got a coat, Captain.”

“Sir,” Kihyun says, smiles a little. “Two weeks tops and I’ll have something.”

“Hmm, apparently it is ‘tops’,” Hyunwoo says and then laughs. “Sorry, Minhyuk told me about the bets.”

“Ah, yes,” Kihyun rolls his eyes. “I’m in on that, too. Making some cash.”

“Good. Now, I must add that… It’s nothing personal, wanting to keep you out of that Jaeger for a while, specifically with Changkyun. I know what you’ve faced before and I can assure you, I faced worse. If anyone can get you back into Rogue Fox, it’s me. I just want to make sure the two of you will be safe.”

Kihyun looks at his feet, smiles a little, “I figured… I know I fucked up. I don’t blame you or Changkyun or the Kaiju or… It was me. So, it’s okay. I just…” Kihyun sighs. “Wanna help. That’s all.”

“You already have, Captain,” Hyunwoo says, and Rogue Fox powers down, the vents whirring fast before they slow. “In any case, you’ll be leaving… Soon. As soon as possible. Tonight, most likely.”

“Guess I better pack, then…” Kihyun mumbles, wills himself to walk. _Moscow… Never been to Moscow._ “I’ll come back later to pick up that strange dossier from your desk.”

“Please do, before it starts laying eggs.”

Kihyun rolls his eyes. _So dramatic._ Then again, everyone on this station is a tad dramatic. Must be the end of the world.

The walk to his room feels a little lonely. But Kihyun finds his missing earphones while going through some winter clothes and, thankfully, they still work. He listens to music while he packs, an old playlist that goes between Disturbed and Muse.

It’s not much, just a backpack with some clothes, a few gadgets he picks up from the General’s office along with the _strange_ dossier, and some cash, a few documents and his phone.

When the call for dinner comes, Kihyun is on the way out of his room. He tries to seem casual even as he walks against the current of people rushing to the cafeteria.

Maybe he should say something. ‘Goodbye’ isn’t really it. Maybe a ‘see you soon’? But… It’s not exactly an official thing, an official mission. So, maybe it’s not a good idea.

He sees a familiar face in the crowd, though. _What was her name..?_ Kim Yoohyeon? She looks up, too, but quickly looks away when she notices Kihyun is looking back.

 _Such a weird threesome,_ Kihyun thinks and then smiles a little. He stops, looks over his shoulder when she walks by. “Hey…”

“Hey!” she says, giving a little wave.

“Good work today,” Kihyun tries.

“Oh,” she says, smiles wide and bows her head a little. “Thank you, Captain! Means a lot coming from you.”

Kihyun raises an eyebrow. “Take care of him for me, okay?”

She frowns for a moment, before she nods. “I’ll do my best.”

Kihyun nods, bows his head a little and moves on. _Moscow better be fucking pretty. ‘Cause I hate the cold, Hyunwoo!_  


 

  


“Hey!” Yoohyeon chirps as she places her tray down sits next to Changkyun. “Guess who I just ran into!”

“The President of the United States?” Changkyun chews. “It happens.”

“Yoo Kihyun,” Yoohyeon grins as she sing-songs.

Changkyun laughs, rolls his eyes and turns to look over his shoulder where Yoohyeon had materialised from. No sign of him. “You gotta stop saying his name like that, you’ll give him an ego.”

“Pretty sure that’s _your_ job,” Yoohyeon chirps, reaches for the juice package and stabs it with the straw.

“Pfff,” Changkyun pffs, waves a hand. “ _Please_ . I’m supposed to keep him _in_ my league, remember?” Changkyun jokes--he’s joking about it now! Way to cope!--and steals a sip from Yoohyeon’s juice. “Zesty.”

“Hmph,” Yoohyeon pouts, stares at her juice and take slurps the whole thing in one go. “He told me to take care of you. I think he was going somewhere. There was a backpack, at least.”

Changkyun frowns, perks up and then pouts. “He would have told me if he was going somewhere...” _Right_?

“Maybe… But hey! He told me I did good! It made me happy. Feels nice not to feel like I have to headbutt him to get your attention.”

Changkyun rolls his eyes. “I wasn’t _that_ bad… And yeah, you did _great_.”

At least now Changkyun knows why Yoohyeon is so scared of the ocean. Because that’s where the Kaiju come from. And the Kaiju took nearly everything from her and left her with but one person to remind her of how fragile human lives actually are.

“Eheh,” Yoohyeon grins.

“Hello, Rangers,” Jooheon greets as he plops down in front of Changkyun. There are two puddings in his tray… How the fuck did he convince the kitchens to give him two? Probably the dimples...

“Hey, Pudding Man,” Changkyun scoffs, frowns. “What the fuck, dude.”

Jooheon shrugs. “I’m charming, what can I say. The ladies like me!”

“Speaking of, how’s Minhyuk?”

“Oh, he’s fine,” Jooheon waves dismissively, slurps a whole pudding directly from the bowl. “God, that was great. And, uhm, he’s fine! Just ten times more excited than usual after…” Jooheon trails off, glances at Yoohyeon. “Well.”

Changkyun leans over to Jooheon to whisper. “She was in my head, Joohoney.”

“Hopefully, just in your head,” Jooheon snorts. “Sorry.” He looks at Yoohyeon, “Lee Jooheon. You can call me Joo. It’s really nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, too, comms guy,” Yoohyeon grins.

Jooheon gasps. “You recognized me?”

“It’s the voice.”

Changkyun snaps his fingers and points. “That’s why he gets the puddings! No fair, I have a great voice. As Jason likes to point out… A lot.”

“Oh,” Jooheon wiggles his eyebrows. “Jason likes your voice, does he…”

Changkyun blinks at him slowly, with measured patience. “Jooheon. Read my mind.”

Jooheon opens his mouth to say something but Yoohyeon throws an arm over Changkyun’s shoulder, grinning from ear to ear.

“Oh, it’s okay!” she says. “Kyun likes Yoo Kihyun!”

“Again, _really_ need to stop saying his name like that,” Changkyun flushes.

Jooheon blinks slowly. “Pretty sure everyone kinda knows that except the guy himself.”

“Good,” Changkyun grumbles, biting into his sandwich. “Told him I wasn’t straight the other day and the hamsters in his head had a panic attack.”

Yoohyeon cackles, “The ham--hams--hamsters!” She giggles and punches Changkyun’s shoulder lightly. “The ham!”

Jooheon snorts. “I can see why the two of you are compatible, now.”

“We--” Changkyun says, raising his chin indignantly. “Will take that as a compliment, thank you very much.”

“Aw,” Yoohyeon melts over Changkyun’s shoulder. “He’s proud of me, I’m happy.”

“And yet, you drink _all_ the zest. How is this fair?”

Jooheon chuckles, shakes his head. “Ah, man… By the way,” he points at Changkyun, “Did Kihyun tell you where he was going? They had me dispatch the chopper but when I asked the General, he gave me the silent treatment.”

Changkyun pouts even more, sinking down. “He really did leave without saying goodbye… I haven’t seen him in, like, two days...”

“Wait,” Yoohyeon blinks, looks between Jooheon and Changkyun. “Was Yoo Kihyun transferred?”

Changkyun’s heart sinks a little into his stomach. “Why--Why would they? He’s only off duty for a month…”

“Dunno,” Jooheon mumbles, glances at Changkyun. “Maybe you can get something out of the General? Seriously, he never tells me anything. Unless it’s an order, of course, he tells me plenty of those.”

Changkyun nods. “Yeah, I’ll--I’ll go ask him. Would help if I was a pretty girl,” Changkyun tries to joke. _Why would Kihyun just leave?_

And, as if the universe is suddenly working against him, the predictive model Changkyun managed to scrounge up predicts a Kaiju within the next few days. It doesn’t make a lot of sense, but… Then again. Kihyun’s not a Ranger anymore.

Changkyun could have still used a hug, though.  


 

  


Everyone is on red alert. All Rangers on deck, sort of thing.

With every Breach, the Kaiju seem to just… get bigger, worse to fight. They’ll need all the help they can get.

Changkyun paces a little around the Bridge, picking at his lip and holding onto the dog tag that reads ‘ _Captain Kihyun Yoo_.’ It’s warm in his hand, and it’ll be warm the day he gives it back.

“Sir, we’re getting some seismic readings from the Coral Sea, Gold Coast of Australia.”

Changkyun tears the skin of his bottom lip and runs his tongue over it. Yoohyeon stands near Hyungwon and Hoseok, looking just as nervous, so Changkyun walks over and puts an arm around her shoulders.

“Hey, don’t worry,” he says and then jokes lightly with a, “We’ve all got hella Kaiju body counts.”

“Me more than you, kiddo,” Hyungwon says, but smiles nonetheless.

Yoohyeon nods small. “Ye--Yeah… It’s a lot of sea, though.”

Hoseok frowns a little at that but says nothing.

“Have you seen how big the Jaegers are?” Changkyun says. “The ocean is like a swimming pool to them!”

“Rift activity positive,” Jooheon says as he types, his bottom lip sucked in. He swallows when he looks up at the screen, before letting out a small breath. “Category... 6. Hell, the entire scale is broken, at this point…”

Changkyun swallows past a dry throat. “Six? Shit…”

“There’s never been a Cat 6 before…” Hoseok mumbles, eyes wide.

“That’s why all of you are going,” Shownu says, as calmly authoritative as he always is.

Changkyun looks over, a question nagging at the back of his head. Shownu’s been so damn _busy_ , every time Changkyun goes to ask, he’s not there. Well, now he is.

“Striker One,” Shownu starts, “Paladin Jinx, Rogue Fox and Tempet Echo, move out, we’ll have the triangulations complete in--” Shownu looks over to Jooheon, who jumps a little and mutters.

“Just a few minutes, sir.”

All the Rangers turn to go, and Yoohyeon’s already pulling Changkyun along when he gently takes her wrist. “Hyeonie, I have to know where Ki went. I’ll be right there, okay? Don’t start without me or anything.”

Yoohyeon smiles a little. “Not everyone can pilot a Jaeger on their own, silly.” She pats Changkyun’s hand and, once he lets go, rushes after the others.

Shownu’s at the front of the Bridge when Changkyun manages to get to him, a hand on his arm. “General, I need to ask you something.”

Shownu looks at Changkyun’s hand and then at him. “Shouldn’t you be getting ready?”

“I need to know, for my own state of mind,” Changkyun says. “Where did Kihyun go? Is he safe? Is he coming back?”

Shownu’s eyes go a little soft, “Can’t say. But… Yes, he’s supposed to come back.” He smiles a little. “And I assume he really wants to come back? Last I heard from him were a bunch of curses about the cold."

“He hates the cold,” Changkyun smiles, squeezes his arm and lets go. “Thank you, hyung. Feeling much better.”

“Better enough to come back, too?” Shownu teases, pats Changkyun’s head. “Move on, Ranger. There’s work to do.”

“See you later!” Changkyun says as he turns to run to the others. When he catches up, Yoohyeon’s already in the skin tight suit, and Changkyun starts shedding his own clothes. “Hate these things, I feel like a stuffed sausage.”

“If only you were just as tasty,” Yoohyeon sighs. She glances over. “So? Did you get to ask?”

“Yeah,” Changkyun says, stepping into the suit and pulling it up. “He’s safe. He’s coming back. All that matters.”

“Are you going to kick his ass for not saying goodbye?”

“Uhm, obviously. It’s why we have to go out there and get rid of the big, smelly obstacle.”

“Hm,” a familiar voice says--Hwasa!-- “So, you’re the one who’s been messing around with the A.I.” She raises an eyebrow, glances up from her tablet.

Changkyun snorts a laugh. “That’s a mean way of saying ‘improving’, Hwasa.”

“I was poking around a bad circuit the other day and, when I found it, the display said ‘That’s the spot’.”

Changkyun bites both lips in, trying not to laugh. It doesn’t work, especially because Yoohyeon barks a loud laugh in his stead.

“Have--Have you--” Changkyun says, laughter in his voice. “Accidentally touched the wrong wire once?”

Hwasa narrows her eyes, places the tablet down and reaches for the cables to connect to Changkyun’s suit. “No… And I’m afraid to ask now.”

“Can’t wait for you to find out,” Changkyun laughs. _Oh, man. You gotta make your own life interesting._

Hwasa rolls her eyes. “You’re hilarious.”

“Oh boy,” Yoohyeon giggles as someone tries to fit her into the combat suit. _So many suits._ “Can’t wait to find out what you’ve tweaked in there, Kyun.”

“See? She gets it.”  
  


  


The coast of Australia. And it took them almost nine hours to get here. Whatever cheerfulness they’d managed to gather for the first few hours quickly crumbled when the reports came in.

Changkyun knows that the last Kaiju they fought, a Category 5 (the top of the scale) was about one hundred and eighty one meters tall. It was a tough fight, no doubt. And they wouldn’t have made it if not for _everyone_ involved. Because despite what happened, it took every single one of them, even the ones who didn’t make it back, to defeat that thing. But this? This is something else entirely.

Ghost-drums of war pound against the golden shorelines in the middle of the day. The remains of a broken wall. A wall that once inspired hope and now is just a ghost of the past, a gruesome reminder that walls don’t keep the monsters out--not always and, in this world, not ever.

And just ahead, past the broken bridges, already far up Georges River, a two hundred meters tall Kaiju makes its way through. It’s big. About twice the size of Rogue Fox.

The Jaegers walk up the shore, leaving the ocean waters behind, but no one says a thing. Everyone is quiet and yet, in the quietude of his own thoughts, Changkyun hears Yoohyeon’s fear like a little voice, eating at him.

 _“The city has been evacuated,”_ Jooheon says over the intercom. _“Everyone is already underground. Feel free to engage. And… Good luck.”_

Changkyun’s eyes scan over the Kaiju, tries to see, find any sort of weak spot. So far, all he sees is big, sharp nails. It looks… “Top heavy,” Changkyun says. “Let’s see if we can get it to the ground, at least.”

 _“Does anyone have a plan?”_ Seola asks.

 _“We’ll distract it, us and Rogue, and Tempest can sneak up at the back, try to topple it,”_ Hoseok says. _“Kyun’s right, it looks like it’ll struggle to get back up again. Jesus, it’s massive…”_

“Someone ate too much for breakfast,” Yoohyeon mumbles in a tiny voice. _What a fat tummy. Reminds me of my cats._

Changkyun sees a fat cat in his mind’s eye. What an image to take into battle.

“Everyone watch each other’s backs,” a senior Ranger says from Striker One. “Prepare to engage in three, two--”

 _Hey, it’s gonna be okay_.

“I know,” Yoohyeon mumbles despite the fear Changkyun still feels from her. “Imma take your friends’ advice in my head and dress it up in a polka dot bikini.”

 _“Jesus, Minhyuk,”_ Jooheon mumbles.

The intercom beeps. “ _Engage!”_ And all the Jaegers slowly pick up the pace and start running.

“Oh! It has a mustache!” Yoohyeon chirps. “Imma call it Mr. Whiskers!”

 _"Codename recorded,"_ the A.I. says. " _Noice_."

 _“Dear God,”_ Jooheon sighs. _“There’s two of them.”_  


 

  


Moscow, one of the most populous cities in Europe. And while the rest of Russia declines, Moscow prospers--And will keep on prospering for years and years to come. It’s no wonder they’re one of the biggest wells of information in the world. Everyone comes here, some even do it illegally. But from the basic worker to the important politician, everyone knows something about someone. And usually? One just needs to follow the thread of information.

Which is what Kihyun has been doing for the past two days after a nine hours trip all the way from Busan. He’s just made it into this bar, known for its sausage roll, and finally managed to sit down after walking around for the past two hours.  

He’s not here for the food, though. He’s here to meet with someone. Someone, Kihyun hopes, who can speak English. After all, Kihyun’s Russian is a little rusty. He orders a drink while he waits, though. That much he can do.

It’s weird that the only lead on that dossier Hyunwoo gave Kihyun was a gun manufacturer in Moscow. Does that mean the Russians are involved? It wouldn’t be the first time they’re up to no good, but then again, no powerful country is up to no good. Both Russian and the U.S.A thrive on the spoils of war. Europe is like a middle aged housewife. And then there’s China, shaking hands while secretly growing its roots underground. No need to mention South Korea. And no one speaks about the North.

That being said, something smells fishy, and it’s got nothing to do with the sausage rolls and that strange thing, the pickled herring--Kihyun knew there was a reason why he hated the smell of fish.

“Hello?” Someone says in English. Kihyun looks up and sees a woman, young, light brown hair and light blue eyes. “Yoo Kihyun?”

Kihyun blinks, nods. He gestures at the seat across the table. “And you?”

“Zia,” she says as she sits down, doesn’t smile but nods, “A pleasure to meet you.”

“Likewise,” _I hope._ “So, what can you tell me?"

Zia looks around, clearly a little on edge. She barely has an accent, even though Kihyun assumes she is Russian. Would… make sense, after all. “You know what my company does, correct?”

Kihyun nods vaguely, reaches for his glass and takes a drink.

She smiles a little. “I hope you do not hold it against me."

Kihyun glances up at her, puts the glass back down and raises both hands just enough to show his palms. “Not holding anything against you. I just need to know who contacted you in the first place."

Zia sighs, brushes some of her hair behind her ear. “If I had known… I was contacted by a U.N. emissary. I have worked with the U.N. before, with your General. Weapons need to be made _somewhere_ , after all. And given to the _right_ side...”

Kihyun frowns, looks at his glass. “The… U.N.”

Zia nods. “It was issued a very high level of security clearance. I assumed it had to do with the Rangers program.”

Kihyun holds one hand up, elbow over the table. “Wait… The United Nation’s whole purpose is to preserve world peace. Why would they be behind the study and development of bio-weapons?”

“I would not presume it to be the entire U.N. Perhaps just… a small party, obsessed with power? I do not know.”

“Or…” Kihyun sighs, glances at the bar and notices the small TV. “A very desperate little man…” He frowns, an amateur video on the news channel catches his eye. _Is that… Sydney?_ “Hey,” Kihyun calls for the bartender and speaks in broken Russian. “Volume. Up?”

The bartender blinks and then reaches for the remote. Kihyun gets up and steps closer to the bar, eyes on the TV. There’s a Kaiju walking up the coast, clearly headed for the city. And it looks… really, really big.

Kihyun feels something tight in his chest. He glances at the girl and points. “What are they saying?”

“They are saying it is a Category 6,” Zia says from next to him, eyes wide on the screen. “I thought that was not possible…”

Kihyun looks at the TV again. He feels his heart sink to his stomach. It’s almost like a panic he quickly needs to mask, feels it like a cluster of sparks in his abdomen. His face tenses, his body goes a little cold--as if the whole city wasn’t making him walk around with minus five in the middle of the day.

“A Cat 6?” He blinks, remembers to breathe. _Changkyun is going to fight that…_ And Kihyun should be there.

“It just blew up the scale,” the barman says in Russian.

The camera shows Jaegers Kihyun recognises. Paladin Jinx, shooting at the Kaiju with full force; Tempest Echo’s whip out and wrapping around the Kaiju’s back leg, janking at it until it topples. Rogue Fox-- _Changkyun_ \--rushes forward, barely dodges one of the Kaiju’s clawed attacks, and another hits, scratching along her chest. But still, Rogue Fox manages to cut into the Kaiju’s arm. It screams like something out of the underworld.

Kihyun frowns, pushes away from the bar and turns to Zia. His thoughts are accelerating inside his head. He wants them to slow down so he can breathe properly, but they won’t. “Do you have proof? A document, a signature… You _must_ have something.”

She swallows, looks away from the TV and nods. She walks back to the table and sits down, reaches down and into her bag and brings out an envelope that she puts it on the table. “Payments. They should be traceable. But I cannot assure you that the name used is not just a pseudonym.”

“That’s fine,” Kihyun says. Hopefully, some of his old contacts in the CSIS will remember they owe him a few favours. He takes the envelope and looks at Zia, smiles a little. “I’ll make sure to keep you as an anonymous source. Don’t worry.”

She smiles back, diverts her eyes. “Thank you,” she says, in Russian. Somehow, Kihyun feels like it means more.

He looks at the envelope and then glances at the TV before he looks away. He puts the envelope on the inside pocket of his jacket and bows a little at Zia with a small, “Thank you.” Before making his way out.

It’s still cold outside, the sun is tipping down fast. And, a whole hemisphere away, people, his friends, are fighting a Cat 6 Kaiju--the first ever. So, Kihyun will get this done. Because even if he wants to be behind a Jaeger, too, everyone does what they can do. And right now? Right now, Kihyun thinks someone’s been naughty.

He fishes out the discardable phone and turns it on to send a text; ‘LAST STOP: PARIS’. And then, as he passes a trash can, Kihyun breaks the phone in half and throws it away.

It’s a ghostly hypodermic kind of adrenaline that pierces his heart, like a gun unloading.

 _You better be safe, you asshole._  


 

  


It’s ugly. Everyone returns, scraped and bruised, exhausted, all of the Jaegers are in a pretty bad state. After getting as much sleep as he possibly can, Changkyun is sure this is going to keep him… busy. He’ll need to think of upgrades. The Kaiju keep getting stronger, but the Jaegers stand still. If they go out with the same weapon and far sturdier targets, they won’t make it very long.

Yoohyeon’s shaking a little. Changkyun walks her back to their room, washes her face with a cold cloth and gets her into bed in comfortable, clean clothes.

“Kyun?” She calls in a tiny voice just as Changkyun leans away, reaches for the hem of his shirt. Her eyes seem a little lost, like she’s not really focusing on him. “Did I do… good?”

Changkyun’s heart squeezes, and he walks back. She’s in his bed, on the bottom bunk. He crouches down next to her, smiles and soothes a hand over her hair. “You did _great_. Wouldn’t be here if you didn’t…”

She nods, smiles a little. “You know… I really hope that… You and Yoo Kihyun get to pilot Rogue together again, one day. But until then… I’ll give my best. I told him I’d try to take care of you… So, thank you for accepting me.”

Changkyun smiles, puts his hand over her eyes to make sure they close. “And thank you for taking care of me, Hyeonie... Get some rest, okay?”

“Okay…” She says, turns to her side, eyes closed and curls a little. “Don’t work too much…” She says and she sounds tired.

“I’ll try,” Changkyun smiles, pulls the covers over her and walks back to his locker, dresses in the t-shirt he still hasn’t given back, and climbs the bunk.

He falls asleep nearly the moment his head hits the pillow.  


 

  


A fox. But the sun isn’t shining, and no matter how long Changkyun waits, nobody comes up to hold him. He stumbles in the dream and the fox looks at him with curious, brown eyes, and Changkyun wakes up to a hand shaking at his shoulder.

“Dude, bro, Kyun…” It’s Jooheon’s voice. And even though he’s whispering, he sounds a little stressed.

Changkyun sits up to frown and rub at his eyes. “Whassit now?”

“There’s been some seismic activity in Japan,” Jooheon mumbles lowly. “The particles moved so fast… I think there will be another event in a few hours. It was an 8.5 earthquake. They’ve issued a tsunami alert.”

“Hours?” Changkyun echos. “Shit,” Changkyun scrambles a little to get out of bed, quickly making his way to his locker for a pair of pants. “Shit, I need to--I need to fix those Jaegers--”

“Everyone is on it,” Jooheon says. “Engineer Hwasa put a few soldiers doing minor works while everyone else focus on getting the Jaegers ready to go.”

“They’re--Jooheon, they’re not _good enough_ ,” Changkyun says, plopping down to pull on his socks and shoes. “The next Kaiju is going to be a fucking Cat 7, and we _barely_ made it out this time.”

Jooheon looks down. “We… The General said there’s a new Jaeger arriving soon, from the Shatterdome in China. A Mark-7. She’s brand new, improved A.I. specs. I’ve seen the specs, she’s a beauty. Obsidian Wolf.”

“Cool name,” Changkyun mumbles, getting up, reaching for his jacket and pulling it on as he walks for the door. He doesn’t know where to, yet. His lab? The Jaeger Hanger? Shit. _Shit_. “Have you--have you heard anything from Kihyun yet?”

Jooheon glances up and smiles a little. “Code messages don’t say much, but he’s in Paris and apparently onto something. The General had him investigate whoever contracted the science team and that rogue military branch we dug up? Kihyun sent a list of names, all ex-marines. And the scientists? All on a really high pay.”

“Maybe we can throw all of them at the Kaiju,” Changkyun grumbles. “A nice little distraction.”

“Yeah,” Jooheon chuckles, glances at Yoohyeon sleeping on the bottom bed. “How’s she holding up?”

Changkyun glances back and gestures with his head for Jooheon to follow, before closing the door. “I think she’s still processing. I am… not looking forward to telling her what you just told me, Joo.”

Jooheon rushes a little to catch up with Changkyun. “Yeah… Well, let’s focus on the positives? New Jaeger. Improved A.I. Conn-Pod Chamber, X-411 Supermetal Body Work, RG-28 Accelerator Limbs? And, best part, Ionic Twinblades that can open as arm shields. It also has a Particle Charger for some plasma shooting.”

Changkyun raises his eyebrows, finds himself on the path to his lab. “Huh. You think we can talk China into sending us some parts? Might not get the Marks up, but anything could help.”

“Oh!” Jooheon snaps his fingers. “Actually? Not a bad idea!” He starts fishing for his pager inside his pockets. “What do you need, my boy?”

“Anything you can get, my boy,” Changkyun smiles a little, crossing his arms. He’s… cold, suddenly. “Until then, I’ll… Shit, run every test I can, try and figure out a way to stop these damn particles, or, at least, slow them down…”

“Yeah…” Jooheon sighs as he types on his pager. “This last Kaiju you stopped? We got a report earlier. A whole cruise ship went missing. It was crossing right above the rift when the breach opened… Three hundred people.”

Changkyun’s stomach twists and turns, and he bites, hard, on his lip. Every rift that opens, means countless lives. He knows it’s not, but it feels a _lot_ like Changkyun’s responsibility. He swipes his pass and walks into his lab. Well, it was _his_ lab, now there are Americans everywhere, _ugh_.

Jooheon follows in after him, still tapping at his pager. So, when Changkyun hears a beep he thinks it’s Jooheon, not him that got paged. But then his pocket trembles like his leg turned into a tamping rammer.

He reaches for it and reads; ‘K: CAUGHT A BIG FISH’.

Changkyun smiles. Amazing that he can still do that. He types back, ‘C: NICE. PUNCHED A BIGGER AMPHIBIAN’.

‘K: BZ’

“Er, Joo? What does ‘Bee Zed’ mean? Paging wise.”

Jooheon looks up. “Huh?” He glances at Changkyun’s pager and smiles. “Bravo Zulu. It means ‘well done’. Or… ‘good job’.”

“Well, then,” Changkyun smiles. “Guess I gotta get to work, then.”

Jooheon’s pager beeps and he raises a hand in the air with a small, “Yes!” He quickly looks at Changkyun. “Got you some armor plating for half the price. _And_ may have bought us a new Combat Scan V.I. to couple with our A.I.s.” He bows a little. “Courtesy of our neighbors in Hong Kong. Everything will be here in four hours.”

Changkyun can already see those parts on the Jaegers, and smiles wide. “Oh, Joo, if we weren’t both gay for other people, I would smooch you to exhibit my joy.”

Jooheon’s cheeks dimple. “My whole face is platonic. Only my lips are forbidden. Property of Lee Minhyuk.”

“Then come here!” Changkyun laughs, smacks a big kiss onto Jooheon’s cheek. “Right. Now. I need to get Jeremy off the ceiling, I have tests to run.”

Jooheon glances up at the blob of water. “Dude… It looks like the fucking LGBT flag,” he snorts a laugh. “Who dressed it up? Are those sticky notes?”

“Kihyun, actually!” Changkyun grins, steps onto his chair and then onto the table, wobbles a little but spreads his weight and looks up. Jeremy wiggles a little.

Jooheon’s pager beeps and he quickly glances at it before going, “Eeeek! Gotta go, my dude! The General is gonna throw me as bait at the Kaiju if I don’t.” He rushes to the door but still looks back. “I’ll keep you updated on Kihyun!”

“Thank you!” Changkyun calls back, looking up at Jeremy. “Right, so I know how you work. Push means pull. This is gonna be weird…”

“Need help?” Jason asks from behind a microscope. He glances up, fixes his glasses.

Changkyun scoffs, rolling down his sleeves. “Ever see a K-Drama?”

“A while ago,” Jason admits. “Goblin.”

“Mm. Can’t remember if that happened in Goblin--good shit, by the way--but usually the girl falls? And the guy catches her? It’s cheesy. Might happen soon.” Changkyun reaches up, pushes lightly against Jeremy, which makes it, because science is fucking _weird_ , push onto Changkyun’s hands, and the more he pushes, the more it lowers.

An equal and opposite reaction? Not in their universe.

“That’s…” Jason gets up, eyes wide. “You know? I’ve been thinking!” He moves away from the table and drips on his chair, almost falls but manages to straighten up. He clears his throat, looks at Changkyun, ears read. “So, imagine our universe as a bubble up here,” Jason fists his hand up. “And their universe as a bubble here,” he fists his other hand down, near his waist. “These Breaches are bridges between universes, right? And that’s the key word! ‘Universes’!” He walks closer. “We keep trying to figure this out by applying the laws of our universe. But wormholes? They shouldn’t even be possible in the first place? It’s all just theoretical science. Until it’s not. Here, in our universe, one plus one equals two. But what if in their universe one plus one equals three?”

Changkyun has Jeremy down to the table, maneuvers (with _effort_ ) the blob into a glass container and plops down onto his chair, frowning. “Huh. That would affect… everything. Chemistry, physics. A whole _different_ version of basic mathematics would…” Changkyun’s eyes widen a little. “Explain a lot. Shit. The original Breach is _old_ , right? All the way from the Triassic era?” Changkyun stands up, quickly walking over to his computer. “Maybe it _isn’t_ an artificial wormhole. Channel enough energy into a fissure, and it’ll open, it’ll be traversable and stable, but--like you said--it’s all just theory. Artificial wormholes would collapse with any mass that passes through from pure gravitation.”

Jason nods, “Even with enough exotic particles floating around to keep it open, you’d need something to control all that energy, right?”

“Exactly. No wonder the rifts _barely_ stay open. They send one thing through and it inevitably collapses.”

“And before,” Jason snaps his fingers, “They always sent one Kaiju at a time. Sure, sometimes one after the other, but never all at the same time. Maybe because if the rim of the rift expanded too much it would become unstable and collapse into a black hole!”

“Maybe? On which side, though, is the problem.” Changkyun nibbles at his bottom lip. “Shit, I’m thinking… These rifts are popping up so often, now, there has to be a way to--oh _shit_ , I should be talking out loud all the time!” Changkyun’s chair falls as he bolts up, and he ignores it, running to another piece of equipment. “We can’t make our own wormholes but we can trick the particles into thinking specific spaces are magnified!”

Jason squints, blinks. “You mean we can artificially magnetize a specific place? Yes… That can be done!”

“I know! I need to-- _we_ need to build this thing, fast as we can. If we can trick the particles, it can give us more time.”

“A basic stainless steel has a ‘ferritic’ structure and is magnetic. And you know what is extra magnetic? Once you add the chromium?” Jason grins. “Palladium. And our Jaegers are covered in it.”

“Shit,” Changkyun looks at him. “We can turn the Jaegers into fucking exotic bait. _Where_ have you been all my life!”

Jason blushes and looks down. “Just doing my job?” He fumbles a little and points at one of the computers. “I can run a quick predictive model for how much magnetism we need to attract the particles based on the previous seismic activity we’ve been recording.”

“You can and you may and you shall. Let’s get to work!”


	12. Long Shot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And then, just as something close to acceptance seems to kick in, a loud sound echoes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kennedy, this one is for you.  
> You said your alternative universe of choice to live in was Battle Cry. So, well. You're in Battle Cry now, too!  
> (Hope you feel better soon <3)
> 
> Now playing: [No Pulse](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjKGU0Xm43c) by Ramin Djawadi.

 

The world is broken. Changkyun knows, though, it’s been broken for quite a long time, if not forever. Everyone has been trying to keep it from cracking into little pieces, putting little bandages everywhere like it helps. And it does, in a way. But not in the right way. It’s like pressing the snooze button on the apocalypse. Again, and again, and again.

Still, it gives them some time, and time is valuable when they have so little to work with. It gives them time to install some upgrades to certain parts as other parts get fixed.

Yoohyeon shows up, lends a hand. It saves a little time to have an extra pair of hands, and Changkyun gets it, the feeling of not wanting to be alone right now.

The relief on Jooheon’s face when Changkyun says they have more time is kind of heartbreaking. It makes Changkyun want to work faster, fight harder. Every now and then, between the rush of soldiers preparing like the apocalypse is something they can schedule, scientists trying every test they can think of, Changkyun will put a hand to his chest and feel the dog tags against his skin.

It’s reassuring. It helps. Even if just a little, it helps.

The first warning comes a few hours later. A heart wrenching sound, really. Not because of what it sounds like, but because of what it means.

Everyone looks up when the siren rings. And then it’s _back to work._ Changkyun tries to concentrate, staring at the circuit in front of him, but it feels like he’s seeing past everything.

The second warning, however, comes a little after Changkyun’s given up on work, and in Shownu’s voice;

_“Today, at six in the morning, an 8.5 magnitude earthquake took place 236 miles south of Tokyo at a depth of 12.2 miles. It caused 20-foot waves that hit the entire south coastline of Japan. We just had a Breach sprout about five minutes ago. It hasn’t collapsed yet but it will once a Kaiju comes through. Be ready for launch.”_

“Come on,” Changkyun says gently, a hand on Yoohyeon’s back. “Are you okay?”

She takes a deep breath and nods. “Yes,” she whispers as looks up at the ceiling. “Hopefully, it won’t be too big. Right?”

“That,” Changkyun pokes at her head with a small smile. “Is what she said.”

“Actually,” Yoohyeon closes her eyes for a moment and then looks at Changkyun, “Yeah. That’s what she said.”

The sound of the hanger alarm sounds through the corridors and the both of them look between each other. Changkyun had told Yoohyeon about the new Jaeger, but they didn’t expect it to arrive this soon. They run to the elevators and then up a few stairs to the second floor of the garage so they can get a proper look.

It’s stunning. Honestly, beautiful. From an engineering standpoint and from just the pure size and elegance of the thing. Changkyun never thought he’d call a Jaeger _elegant_ , but… damn.

_Obsidian Wolf_. It makes sense.

The plating is covered in black a coating of black oxide. It’s a few meters taller than Rogue Fox, and looks a lot more aerodynamic.

“Shit, she’s beautiful,” Yoohyeon gasps. “Who’ll pilot her?”

“No idea,” Changkyun says, pulls at Yoohyeon and goes back to the elevators. “Honestly, and I really thought I would never say something like this about a Jaeger but… I wanna be in that thing.”

Yoohyeon giggles. “Wait until Yoo Kihyun hears that.”

“Aish,” Changkyun says with a small laugh, smacking at Yoohyeon’s arm lightly as the elevator reaches the top. It’s good that she can joke, still. It’s good to go into a Jaeger with a heart not completely weighed down.

“You know,” Yoohyeon says, sighs and smiles. “When this is over? I’m going to ask my girlfriend to marry me and then we’ll go on a world trip.” She looks at Changkyun. “I always thought I had time to do the things I wanted to do but… That Kaiju… This Kaiju… All of them could be our last fight. So, after we fix the world, Imma go out there and appreciate the shit out of it!”

Changkyun smiles wide and steps off the elevator, and they walk fast towards the fitters. “Yeah? Now that sounds like something to work for… Better invite me to that wedding.”

“Obviously,” Yoohyeon grins. “Wouldn’t want you to miss it for the world.”

A few people stop to salute them before they march on. A few soldiers, a few engineers and a girl Changkyun doesn’t recognize but at whom Yoohyeon smiles brightly.

“See you later, Kennedy!” she chirps with a little jump and beams even more when the girl smiles back and gives her a thumbs up and a mouthed ‘good luck’.

“A friend?” Changkyun asks, glancing back with a smile of his own.

Yoohyeon turns to smile at Changkyun. “Hm? Oh! Yes. She’s from LOCCENT Mission Control? Saw her doodling on the table at dinner the other day and totally decided to say ‘hi’. It was cute.”

“When we get back, introduce me,” Changkyun grins, pulls Yoohyeon along despite the weight in his stomach. “Now come on, let’s kick some ass.”

 

 

It’s big. Of course it’s big, but more than that; it’s menacing.

It’s not _just_ the size, it’s the spikes, the claws, the tail that whips around faster than Changkyun’s eyes can move. He’s scared and so is Yoohyeon, her heart seems to hammer inside Changkyun’s chest like it’s his own. And even though they beat at the same rhythm, the impact of every pump is almost nauseating.

The instructions are coming from Striker One; they have the most experience, they sound the bravest when they talk.

_“Ready?”_

“Ready,” Yoohyeon and Changkyun say in sync, followed by Paladin Jinx, Tempest Echo.

Striker One engages. Rogue Fox and Tempest Echo work together as a distraction, and while Striker has the upper hand, Paladin Jinx throws all its firepower at the beast, new installed torpedos flying locking and flying in, Tempests bullets going a lot faster with the new upgrade.

It barely scratches the surface, what with that thick skin the creature seems to have. And, with a growling scream, it throws Striker One against a building, seems to slither its way back into the water.

Changkyun’s just taking in orders, calm in a practised way. He keeps looking, keeps trying to think. _Think, think, think._

“We’ll have to dive it,” Changkyun says, swallows. “Paladin barely hurt it, we’ll need to bombard it. All or nothing.”

Rain hits the Jaeger, it barely makes a sound, but Changkyun can feel the wind try to tug them around, even with the hydraulics compensating.

The Kaiju’s eyes seem to move independently from each other, like a chameleon, each seems to turn and watch every Jaeger’s move, blinking and shifting fast.

_“This thing has no goddamn blind spots!”_ Hoseok yells, the Kaiju reflecting a shot with its tail.

_“Analysis complete,”_ Sharon, says. _“Three secondary brains. This is one tough cookie.”_

_“Shit was that Rogue Fox’s A.I.?”_ Hyungwon asks. _“Who’s been messing with it?”_

_“Who do you think?”_ Dami scoffs. _“Aiming for the eyes; let’s see if we can blind this Chameleon.”_

_Huh, I like that,_ Changkyun thinks and Yoohyeon just mentally check the little box in agreement.

_“Codename registered,”_ Sharon says, _“Chameleon.”_

_“Guys,”_ Jooheon says over the intercom, _“We just received a report. The North of Tokyo is still not done evacuating. You have to keep that thing away from the city.”_

_“What the hell took them so long?!”_ A senior Ranger shouts, as Striker One aims a shot at the Kaiju even with it still in the water. It misses.

The Kaiju jumps out, directly towards Striker One, but gets disorientated when Tempest Echo’s whip lashes at its face, one of the eyes bleeding blue.

_“We make our own fucking blind spots,”_ Seola says.

_“Rogue, take the right, we have the left,”_ Hoseok says, and both of them run to the sides, Changkyun bringing out the shield as Yoohyeon equips the sword. From this close, the Kaiju practically towers over them.

_Take the right_. Easier said than done.

Just as they get closer, the thick skin on the Kaiju’s back seems to bubble, a neon blue liquid pouring out of it as the creature growls lowly.

_“Warning,”_ Sharon says, _“toxicity levels increasing.”_

Rogue and Paladin stop in their tracks.

_“Guys…”_ Jooheon starts, _“I’m getting a reading I don’t understand.”_

The rain steams when it hits the Kaiju’s skin, blue blood dripping everywhere onto the water.

“Send me the readings,” Changkyun says, eyes wide on the Kaiju.

The screen in front of Yoohyeon beeps and the infrared readings come up. She frowns, glances at Changkyun as the thought hits him.

“It’s pregnant…” She says in a whisper.

Sharon’s display reads; ‘SCANNING’. And then her voice sounds in the Conn-Pod. _‘“Warning, toxicity levels increasing. Calculating; Category 7 Kaiju detected.”_

“What the fuck,” Changkyun breathes.

Yoohyeon passes him the screen, “Look at the heat readings. It’s disappearing. It’s consuming the baby and mutating.”

“She’s absorbing it? Fuck, guys, we need to--”

The Kaiju roars, starts sprinting towards Striker, skin bubbling and glowing in the dark of the storm, claws big, eyes slowly recovering while it still bleeds. It’s teeth look like the gates of Hell.

“Don’t let it touch you!” Changkyun yells, just as the Kaiju pounces onto the Jaeger, and the blue blood seeps in, eating away at the plating. It growls as it bites off pieces of metal, the rest simply turning to nothing and disappearing into the water.

_“We have to eject!”_ One of the senior Rangers yells. _“We have to--”_

An explosion. And radio silence.

Changkyun’s heart bottoms and then sinks even more when Yoohyeon’s fear collides with his.

_“We--There’s no time, take the eyes out, now!”_ Dami yells, voice a little shaky.

_Yoohyeon, the plasma gun--shoot as much as you can, aim at the head!_

Rogue’s blade withdraws and the gun comes into view as the plating withdraws. Yoohyeon shoots once but misses, hits the Kaiju on the neck and calls its attention to them. She keeps shooting, panicking as the Kaiju starts running towards them, heavy steps that make the Conn-Pod shake just it moves through the water. It jumps, throws itself on them with a massive slam.

Changkyun brings the shield up just in time. They’re pushed into the water, and Changkyun knows the Kaiju is bleeding blue over Rogue’s legs. They can’t get up. Not even if they have to.

The shield blocks the bites, and Changkyun’s heart hammers in his chest as he screams, tries to just _keep it off of them_. The tail swipes at the arm, and Changkyun almost crumbles.

“Paladin!”

He hears the shooting; feels Yoohyeon’s fear, his own; sees the memories roll behind his eyes, sees Striker explode, the Kaiju’s teeth sinking into it.

_I--I don’t want to die--_

He’s not sure if he’s thinking it, or hearing it.

There’s a loud sound, a Jaeger’s siren, and Paladin tackles the Kaiju, pushes it away from Rogue even as the Kaiju Blue corrodes her plating.

_“Get up!”_ Hoseok shouts. _“We’ll hold it--Ge--Get up!”_

_“Kyun--Changkyun, focus, you’re Drifting off!”_ Jooheon warns.

A flash.

_Hiding in a small, cold room as, above him, the world ends. He’s alone, he’s so so cold, and so very alone._

“Changkyun!” Yoohyeon shouts and Changkyun’s breath shakes as he blinks himself back, knows there are tears on his face.

_I’m sorry, I’m--_

_“Hydraulics corroded,”_ Sharon says. _“Right leg; inoperative.”_

“We can’t!” Changkyun shouts, readings from the Jaeger flashing in front of him, mostly in red.

_“You have to!”_ Dami shouts, shoots at the Kaiju even as it doesn’t seem to tickle it one bit.

_Yoohyeon! Use the sword like a crutch!_

“I’m on it!” Yoohyeon says. She pulls at the sword, hologram shifting on her arm. “We need the thrusters for a little pick me up!”

The displays change and the A.I. beeps, _“Thrusters; engaged.”_

Rogue Fox manages to stand up slowly while the thrusters relieve her of some weight. But just as they do, they look up and see Paladin Jinx being thrown across the coast. She collapses against a building near the harbour, haul sparking, reactor energy readings clearly dropping.

_“Paladin?”_ Dami calls, Tempest slowly backing away from the Kaiju that slowly turns to them. _“Shit… Hoseok? Hyungwon?”_

_“Bridge!”_ Seola says and it sounds like she’s crying. _“We need backup!”_

_“We’re on it, we’re on it!”_ Jooheon says. _“Air Force incoming in five!”_

_“Five what?!”_

_“Seconds!”_

And in less than two, FK-21s fly by like bullets, breaking the sound barrier with the sound of thunder in the distance. They start shooting the Kaiju, take its attention away from the Jaegers. But one airplane quickly gets hit, explodes in a fireball when the Kaiju fists its claws around it.

The other planes keep shooting just as a few more come into the scene. The Kaiju growls lowly, puts all is feet down and starts emitting an even lower growl.

_“Transmitter interference detected,”_ Sharon says. _“Long distance communications; down.”_

_“Fuck,”_ Hyungwon curses loudly. _“We’re down. Broke my_ fucking _arm, too.”_

“I…” Yoohyeon starts. “What… What do we do? I don’t… I don’t know what to do--” _I don’t want to go in there and die..._

Changkyun’s heart bottoms and he barely has time to catch it just before it hits the ground and crashes. Still, he thinks, because he must, _we have to try_.

“Tempest, it’s just us now,” Changkyun says. “We have to--we have to finish this _now_ \--”

_“We’re with you,”_ Dami says.

_Shoot from here, Yoohyeon. I’ll protect us._

“I hate to ask this, Dami, Seola,” Changkyun says. “But you’re faster, we can’t really move. We’ll do as much range damage as we can; one of the eyes are damaged, take the other out and we might stand a chance.”

_“We’re on it!”_ Both Dami and Seola say in sync as Tempest paces up, plating shifting, reading for a speed run as she closes in on the Kaiju.

_Yoohyeon… Take a breath. You can do this. I believe in you._

Yoohyeon takes a deep breath. “Could use… Could use a good shot right about now,” she says, smiles a little.

She raises her arm and Changkyun feels his own lift. The visor is damaged but not enough to keep them from unloading a whole clip on the Kaiju, the cannon quickly heating up with the speed with which it shoots.

The Kaiju growls, plasma shots striking its head, its neck and front legs. It screams, like something ancient but big. And doesn’t even notice Tempest closing in as her whip twirls around one of its legs and pulls. The Kaiju barely stumbles but it’s too busy screaming to notice them.

“Vent the coolant on the guns,” Changkyun says, typing away as fast as he can. Yoohyeon moves the guns in front of the vents just as Sharon says, “ _Venting coolant_.”

_Watch the temperature, reload, shoot when you can_.

Planes keep raining bombs down on the Kaiju, make it shake its head and roar loudly.

“It’s disorientated! _Now!_ ”

Yoohyeon screams as she locks in, plasma gun unloading on the Kaiju again. They hit it everywhere, its legs, its underbelly when it rises on two legs to destroy and airplane, its tail--which Tempest finally manages to get rid of by snatching it with her whip and concentrating her shots in one single point.

However, just as the tail breaks free from the body, it explodes in a sea of Kaiju Blue. It covers Tempest’s plating, makes it steam as it melts away.

_“It caught the wires! We’re circuiting!”_ Dami says.

_Shit. Shit, I--I don’t know what to--_

The Kaiju turns, blind, bleeding from its eye cavities. It sniffs at the air, a low alligator-like growl as it does. And then it ignores everything else, the airplanes, the helicopters, and just turns to Rogue, starts running towards her as something pulls at its mouth--if Changkyun didn’t know better, he’d say it’s smiling.

_Sword! Impale--_

There’s no time. Just enough for Changkyun to move the shield in front of them. They crash back down with the weight of the Kaiju. Changkyun can hear its jaws snapping as it tries to bite at the shield, and he shouts, “Sharon! Spikes!” and hears the Kaiju scream again as the smooth shield quickly spikes out into its flesh.

Kaiju blue bleeds over the sides of the shield, drips onto Rogue’s arms, into the wiring. Slowly, Changkyun can feel his arms giving in, the weight pressing further and heavier on them, cracking at the shield, their plating. Once his arm gives in, there will be nothing standing between them and death.

_I’m--I’m so sorry, Hyeonie--_

“It’s… It’s okay…” Yoohyeon says and Changkyun knows she’s crying a little. His heart _hurts_. “Did I do… Did I do good?”

“The best,” Changkyun says, voice small. He focuses on keeping his arm up for as long as he can, thinks, in terrifying clarity, _I never told him_.

_I will,_ a small voice says back inside his head. Sharon.

_Thank you_...

And then, just as something close to acceptance seems to kick in, a loud sound echoes.

Something lights up in front of their visor, an explosion right next to the Kaiju’s head. It makes it stumble to the side as it gets away from Rogue. It growls angry, shakes its body as it focuses on something else across the bay, near the docks.

The display comes up on Changkyun’s side. And he sees her, deep black painting, slick armor that seems to reflect every bit of light even in the dark, even with the rain.

With every step she takes closer to them, the hydraulics shift into position, ports sealing all the way up as she steps into the water. She has her arm raised, a smaller plasma cannon than Rogue Fox’s. A cannon she seems to withdraw quickly as she keeps walking closer, plating barely shaking as she does.

_Obsidian Wolf..._

_“You did great,”_ the General’s voice sounds over the intercom and Yoohyeon gasps a little.

_Shownu…? I thought…_

“I--We can’t get up, hyung--”

_“It’s fine,”_ Shownu says.

Changkyun’s arm gives in, and the shield falls to the side in a loud, metallic ring.

The A.I. display reads, ‘CONNECTING… CONNECTING…’ and then it beeps with a, ‘CONNECTION ESTABLISHED-OBSIDIAN WOLF’. It shows the Jaeger’s specs, arms and armour. And right at the bottom it reads ‘MARK-7’.

The Kaiju growls lowly, slowly stepping away from Rogue as it starts to circle around Obsidian’s path. And then, again, the A.I. display beeps.

‘FEED CONNECTED, WELCOME BACK, YOO KIHYUN.’

Changkyun’s heart hammers away in his chest, and for the first time in a long while, he feels safe. It’s irrational, the fight’s not over yet, but the odds are in their favour; they hurt this Kaiju, a lot, all they need is that killing shot. Yoo Kihyun’s specialty.

And then, of course…

_“I go away for a few days and you fucking ruin Sharon,”_ Kihyun complains over the intercom. _“She’s crying all over our display!”_

“Kill this thing and you can nag me for it when we get home.” Changkyun says, breathing heavily. He can’t move his arm. Damn neural pathways.

_“Apparently,”_ Shownu chuckles. _“He intends to kick your ass.”_

Yoohyeon goes limp next to Changkyun and sniffles. “Sir, I’ve never been more happy in my life to hear your voice.”

“I’ll let him,” Changkyun says, tears on his face even as he smiles a little.

The Kaiju growls and then screams, bangs fists on the ground, into the water like a gorilla. And, then, it starts running just as Obsidian Wolf starts running towards it. Changkyun hears an acceleration motor kick up and-- _damn, Obsidian is fast…_

The clash feels like an earthquake and sounds like thunder. The Kaiju latches onto Obsidian just as she tries to push it away, further away from the city harbour. She headbutts the Kaiju, pushes and, as it stumbles, elbow thrusts with a punch. Her fist hits the Kaiju’s jaw and before she pulls her arm back, serrated spikes jump out of the forearm plating. On its way back, the arm cuts through the Kaiju’s neck already weakened by Rogue’s shots and the Kaiju chokes on its own growl.  

Blood pours into the water and the creature slowly crumbles like a leaf as it tries to keep standing up. But Obsidian doesn’t give it time, one leg coming back--Kihyun’s tell move--before she shoots one single plasma bolt into the Kaiju’s wound. It seals it, cauterizes it, and the bleeding stops.

“Remind me…” Yoohyeon says, eyes wide and on the display, “Never to mess with those two…”

“Will do…” Changkyun says, watches the Kaiju flail, blind and weakened. It hits both front legs on the ground again and lifts one up to swing at Obsidian but she quickly dodges, crouches-- _I’ve never seen a Jaeger move like that!--_ two ionic blades coming from under the arm plating on both arms so quickly that the metallic sound they make echoes.

The Kaiju swings its other leg and Obsidian uses her thrusters to jump-dodge and then sparks elbow and leg thrusters on one side to spin. Her blades cut through the Kaiju’s debilitated neck, send its head flying a few kilometers away. And then, quickly, Obsidian’s right arm pulls back, blade withdrawing, cannon coming out, three plasma shots into the Kaiju’s body.

The massive creature goes limp. And suddenly everything is quiet. Obsidian gives one small step back. And Rogue’s A.I. display reads ‘TERMINATED’.

The relief Changkyun feels is… almost overwhelming. Yoohyeon is crying and Changkyun knows he is, too, quietly.

“Re--requesting evac,” Changkyun says, voice small.

_“Oh my god,”_ Jooheon says on the intercom, _“We were blind for a while over here, thank god…”_

_“Send a fucking doctor,”_ Hyungwon growls over the intercom.

_“He’s being dramatic,”_ Hoseok says and when he laughs it sounds like relief.

Jooheon laughs a little, too. _“We have teams on their way. Standby.”_

_“As if I could move anywhere, ugh…”_ Hyungwon complains.

 

 

It’s exhaustion. Changkyun’s body feels entirely tapped out, like the adrenaline sucked all the remaining energy out of him and now that it’s gone, he’s just so, so tired. It’s a victory, but it’s solemn. They lost people. They’re injured. Hyungwon broke his arm and Changkyun and Yoohyeon, Dami and Seola, they all almost died.

When they step out of the Jaeger, Changkyun is holding onto Yoohyeon, and they walk together, holding each other up. Yoohyeon seems to be melting onto Changkyun. She’s tired, he can see it in her face.

“I… The senior Rangers,” Changkyun says, “Do you know what their names were?”

Yoohyeon shakes her head a little. “I think one of them was Rick… The… Nice one? Always complimenting everybody? Him.”

“Yeah, Rick sounds right,” Changkyun says, nodding slightly. “I’ll… I’ll find out, okay? We’ll drink to them. We’ll remember them. With Haley and Nate.”

Yoohyeon nods, smiles a little. “Yeah… Yeah, that sounds great.”

“Come on, we should go to the medbay, make sure everything’s fine. Then sleep. Lots and lots of sleep…” Changkyun says, and when he looks up, he sees a familiar, beautiful face in the mess of people in the hanger.

_Kihyun_.

Changkyun's heart aches, and his fingers itch as if to reach out (as far away as Kihyun may be), but then Yoohyeon shivers a little into him. So, he rubs a hand up and down her arm and keeps walking.

_Priorities._

But he looks up again, looks back, hoping Kihyun will see him. And just before he and Yoohyeon have the elevator doors close in front of them, Kihyun looks up, locks eyes with Changkyun’s for a moment and nods just faintly in acknowledgement before looking away.

Changkyun and Yoohyeon are both okay. No broken bones, barely a scratch. Changkyun’s arm feels stiff, though, from exertion. Yoohyeon barely makes it to their room until she’s fast asleep on Changkyun’s bed again. He smiles softly down at her--really wormed her way into his heart, this one--and the leaden feeling in his legs comes in second to a much, much bigger want.

Kihyun saved his life today. Shownu and Kihyun, but…

_But._

Changkyun just wants to _see_ him.

It feels like it’s been years. Changkyun’s heart still weighs so, so heavy and he just… He just wants to smile again. Wants to stop seeing death come running towards him bleeding blue, wants to stop thinking about Yoohyeon’s thoughts bouncing around in his skull when she thought she was going to die and he couldn’t do anything about it.

It’s a long shot, to think Kihyun will be in his room. He’s probably still on the Bridge, or in the Hanger, somewhere he can be useful and help.

But also, Changkyun knows Kihyun. Knows he’ll be looking for his creature comforts, will probably want to do laundry.

Changkyun scoffs a small laugh. _Yeah, probably._

The door is closed, so he just knocks once, twice, softly.

“For the last time,” Kihyun grumbles as he opens the door, “I don’t know where--” He blinks when he sees Changkyun. “Oh.”

_Oh_. Changkyun tries a small smile. “Hey… Here for the ass kicking.”

Kihyun frowns a little, bites at his lower lip as his eyes roam all over Changkyun. And then, with a click of tongue, he pulls Changkyun into a tight hug, hand at the back of Changkyun’s head, pulling him closer.

Changkyun's face fits so well in the crook of Kihyun’s neck that it's really, _really_ hard not to just break down there and then. Changkyun clings to Kihyun, hands gripping at his shirt.

“You--You left, Ki…”

“Shhh,” Kihyun says. “I… I didn’t. I mean, I did but not like… _leave_ leave?”

Changkyun huffs a small laugh, pushing his face against Kihyun's chest. “I know, I know… Ugh, I’m crying, Jesus Christ…”

“No, just Kihyun…” Kihyun jokes, leans back a little, hands on Changkyun’s face to thumb the tears away. “Good thing you’re still pretty when you cry.” He chuckles, smiles a little, eyes soft. “Won’t scare people away with the ugly sobbing.”

Changkyun sniffles, smiling at Kihyun. _Such kind eyes_. Changkyun reaches up for his own cheeks, wiping at the wetness with the ends of his sleeves. “Shu--shut up…”

Kihyun lets go, gives a small step back and glances at the corridor. “Are you… busy?” He asks, looks at Changkyun again.

Changkyun shakes his head, moves to close the door. “N--No. Just got back from the medbay, put Yoohyeon to bed.”

Kihyun nods and turns to walk to the middle of the room. He sits down on the floor where he was, most likely, folding the laundry (considering the amount of clothes lying around him over a white sheet). “How is she?” He asks, gestures at Changkyun to sit next to him. “Sorry about the mess… I had just started unpacking when the General stuffed me into that Jaeger.”

“Ah,” Changkyun says, sitting down and reaching for a t-shirt to help Kihyun fold. “So you don’t say hello, either? And no, I _insist_ on always being salty about you not saying goodbye.”

Kihyun scoffs a laugh and glances over for a moment before looking away. “I missed you, too.”

“Yeah?” Changkyun asks, chest filling with a telling, hopeful warmth.

“Yeah… I…” Kihyun looks around the room and then reaches for his bag, brings out a small wrapped little square and throws it over Changkyun’s lap. “Souvenir.”

Changkyun blinks down. “Well, it’s not a t-shirt…” He has to stretch his fingers a little to stop them shaking ( _when_ is that going to stop already, _christ…_ ) and unwraps it. _Jewelry?_ Changkyun frowns and opens the box. A small, silver Eiffel tower keyring. Changkyun laughs softly, “I love it… I’ll put it on my keycard…”

“It’s not much but I was only there for a few hours… then they stuffed me in an FK-21 and flew me all the way here. I swear I had Gs shoved into my ass… Never went that fast around the Earth. And I don’t recommend.”

Changkyun smiles up at Kihyun, eyes a little soft. “You saved my life. Hope that makes it worth it.”

Kihyun pauses mid folding a shirt and frowns a little. “I almost didn’t… Two seconds too late and…” He frowns some more, finishes folding the shirt. “Honestly..? Hadn’t been that scared in a long time…”

“Me neither,” Changkyun admits softly, looks down, starts fiddling with the keyring in his shaking hands.

_And it’s only going to get worse, isn’t it?_ It feels like it. A storm on the horizon. Or maybe they’re just in the eye of it, surrounded.

“You’ll be fine,” Kihyun says, like he heard Changkyun. “You gotta be.”

Changkyun looks up again and it’s like a gravitational pull. He remembers, just before he thought he was going to die, thinking something. A small regret that isn’t that small after all.

It’ll only get worse, and the regret will only get bigger.

He puts the keyring down next to him, doesn’t think as much as he just acts, crawls the few feet forward to slowly sit himself down on Kihyun’s lap, a hand on his cheek that shakes less the longer Changkyun touches Kihyun.

Kihyun blinks and his eyes go between Changkyun’s, like he’s searching for something. An answer to a question? Maybe.

So, Changkyun leans forward, Kihyun’s face in his hands and thinks, _maybe this is it_.

A soft, lingering press of lips. A kiss as fragile as the world around them. And even though Changkyun’s head spins and his heart hammers away in his chest, he feels safe, and warm.

That is, until reason kicks in, and Changkyun pulls away, eyes wide and cheeks flush, scrambling off of Kihyun’s lap and to his feet with words that stumble even as he backs away to the door. “I’m--I’m sorry I just--”

Kihyun blinks in confusion even as he says, “It’s… okay…” He frowns and looks at Changkyun, gets up slowly, carefully watching. “Hey… It’s--”

“Did--Did I just ruin our friendship?" Changkyun wants to cry, he feels so stupid. "Oh, god…”

“What?” Kihyun’s face shifts a little. “No… No, you didn’t.” He doesn’t step closer but moves a hand between them, just a little, “Come here.”

Changkyun freezes. He always freezes, just looks at Kihyun with eyes a little wide, heart in his throat.

“You didn’t ruin anything,” Kihyun says, takes a breath and steps closer.

So Changkyun does, too.

There’s barely something to say as they meet in the middle and Kihyun kisses Changkyun, hands on his face to bring him closer. Changkyun almost whimpers, almost lets his knees just give in so he just grips at Kihyun’s shoulders, stumbling back a little.

There’s the cold press of the wall against his back and warmth as Kihyun presses his body a little against Changkyun’s, moves his lips against Changkyun’s with controlled desperation.

This time, Changkyun does make a sound, a soft gasp against Kihyun’s lips, arms moving up and around Kihyun’s neck, a hand in his hair.

_Warmth._ So much warmth.

Kihyun shivers a little and then Changkyun feels Kihyun’s hands move from his face to his waist and a little down his thighs. It’s kind of effortless, the way Kihyun lifts Changkyun up and Changkyun has to hook both legs around Kihyun’s waist so he won’t fall. But Kihyun doesn’t stop kissing him, not even as he slowly moves him to the bed, slowly puts him down and crawls on top of him. Kihyun doesn’t stop kissing him. It turns from desperate to slow, like they have plenty of time to waste.

Changkyun’s hands find their way under Kihyun’s shirt, feeling the skin of his back (warm, soft, near intoxicating), and when he shifts slightly on the bed, hips moving up a little as he does, he gasps against Kihyun again, breaks the kiss to scratch a little at Kihyun’s back, move his head back as he pants lightly, eyes unfocused on the ceiling.

It feels so _real_. All of it, every touch and kiss and soft little sound. In a way he barely thought possible, even if it’s exactly what he’s been looking for this whole time.

_It's you. It's been you for a while now, hasn't it?_

There’s a hand on Changkyun’s waist, a thumb catching an uncovered hipbone, pressing just a little before Kihyun ghosts his fingers up Changkyun’s torso, under his shirt, kisses at Changkyun’s jaw and then down to his neck.

They don’t talk; they don’t have to, not with the way Changkyun shivers at the feeling, eyes closing as he loses himself in it.

Kihyun’s hand ghosts over Changkyun’s ribs and then a finger slowly and softly rubs over his nipple.

Changkyun catches the sound in his throat, the soft moan. He tugs a little at Kihyun’s hair again, to bring him up, to push their mouths together again and lick into Kihyun’s, groans somewhere at the back of his throat when he feels Kihyun’s tongue against his.

Kihyun moves his hand down and Changkyun feels himself arching into the touch, whimpering a little when Kihyun stops on his navel and fingers curl around the hem of Changkyun’s pants, slide slowly towards the middle.

It makes Changkyun’s stomach twists, heat and a tight feeling working its way down his legs. And, as if to ask a silent question, Kihyun breaks the kiss to look at Changkyun, breath heavy on his lips, fingers on the buttons of Changkyun’s pants. As an answer, Changkyun reaches down, cups at the slight bulge in Kihyun’s pants, and squeezes.

Kihyun presses his forehead against Changkyun’s, eyes scrunching closed as he groans a little, undoes the buttons and pulls down Changkyun's fly, hand moving in to press against his boxers.

“ _Oh, god_ ,” Changkyun breathes, licking his lips and squeezing at the bulge in his hand. It makes his head swim, thinking about what they're doing, if they _should_ be doing any of this. But honestly? Every small touch feels like everything Changkyun could have ever wanted, had been looking for for so long. It feels _so much,_ and even the slight heat and hardness of Kihyun that Changkyun can feel through the material of his pants lights Changkyun's entire body on fire.

Kihyun moves his hand slowly between Changkyun’s legs, licks at Changkyun’s lips and catches the bottom lip between his own, sucks at it. There’s such a strong wave of arousal that floods Changkyun’s head, his stomach, and all he can do is move against Kihyun’s hand, spreading his legs and try to breathe.

Because it’s Kihyun, and that alone is entirely overwhelming. Because it’s Kihyun, and Changkyun had _no_ idea how much that mattered.

A warm hand snatches inside Changkyun’s boxers, fingers ghost all the way down to brush at his balls before they curl around his dick, a thumb pressing near the head. Changkyun moans, unabashed against Kihyun, his own hand fumbling and uncoordinated between them. But when Kihyun moves his hand, there’s not much Changkyun can do other than just melt onto the bed, let go and try to reach up to touch, grip at Kihyun like an anchor.

Kihyun’s lips move against Changkyun’s just as slowly as Kihyun moves his hand. But then, with one last brush of tongues, Kihyun looks at Changkyun for a second and then kisses his cheek. A soft, affectionate press of lips against his skin that makes Changkyun’s heart skip a beat, before Kihyun moves down.

He kisses the skin on Changkyun’s stomach, uncovered with his shirt lifted. Changkyun’s stomach tenses at the touch and he feels his dick throb a little. And then lips trail down Changkyun’s ribs, leave hot breaths on his navel, warmth spreading when Kihyun wraps his lips around the tip of Changkyun’s dick and circles around with his tongue before taking him in.

Changkyun’s eyes fly open as he gasps, loud, finds a grip in Kihyun’s hair as his back arches.

“ _Ah_ , Kihyun…” Changkyun throws an arm over his mouth as he moans, eyebrows furrowing at the concentrated warmth and arousal between his legs.

Kihyun moves Slowly, wets Changkyun’s dick with saliva each time he comes back up. And each time he goes down, he takes Changkyun even deeper, until, at some point, Changkyun feels a breath on his pubic hair and the tip of his dick at the back of Kihyun’s throat.

Changkyun looks down, sees Kihyun's lips wrapped around him and that in itself nearly snaps the feeling in his stomach.

Instead, Changkyun shivers, whimpering against his arm, scratches at Kihyun’s scalp. He forces his arm away from his face, reaching up to grip at the metal headboard and force his hips back into the mattress, fighting the urge to move them into the heat.

“Feels… So fucking good, Ki…”

When Kihyun pulls back up, teeth scrape lightly at the tip of Changkyun’s dick before Kihyun takes it into his hand and moves back up, crashes his lips against Changkyun’s.

Changkyun can taste himself in Kihyun’s mouth, whines against Kihyun and rolls his hips, stomach tensing and legs shaking with arousal. “I’m-- _oh god_ , Ki, I’m--”

Kihyun moves his hand a little faster around Changkyun, closer to the tip, and bites at Changkyun’s lower lip, kisses him and says in a raspy, low voice; “You’re so fucking beautiful…”

It pushes Changkyun over the edge completely. His heart seems to just stop, as he curls into Kihyun with a loud cry, gripping at Kihyun’s shoulders as he comes, legs shaking and tightening around him.

Kihyun strokes Changkyun through his orgasm and shivers a little on top of him, lowers his head down next to Changkyun’s and gasps. Changkyun is still blinking himself back to reality, catching his breath, but he can feel how hard Kihyun is, pressing against him.

Changkyun moves his hands down to Kihyun’s ass, squeezing and pushing Kihyun up as he moves down, fingers fumbling but managing to free Kihyun from his pants, quickly pulling his underwear down his thighs.

Kihyun doesn’t say anything, but his breath is loud and faltering, even as he just lets Changkyun do what he wants to do. So, Changkyun glances up for a second, licking his lips before moving down enough to wrap a hand around Kihyun and guide him down to his lips, brushing the tip over them before licking lightly into the slit.

Kihyun shivers, a little sound masked between a gasp leaves his lips. And his dick was already hard, swollen, but suddenly Changkyun feels it so stiff in his hand, tip leaking over his lips.

Changkyun moans as he moves his hand up to Kihyun’s ass, to push him down, feels Kihyun’s dick slip in between his lips and eagerly sucks him in, slowly easing Kihyun down into his mouth. It’s a foreign, full feeling, but he embraces it because that feeling is _Kihyun_. Which still feels amazing, if not a little unbelievable.

Kihyun’s breath is heavy and every time Changkyun moves his tongue on him, Kihyun hisses a little, sometimes moans, breath stuttering to catch up when he does. He moves one hand, fingers softly threading between Changkyun’s hair.

“You,” Kihyun starts, sighs loudly when Changkyun takes him in again, “You feel so good, baby, so good…”

_Baby_.

Changkyun’s chest tightens painfully, eyes burning, and he moans around Kihyun’s weight on his tongue, opens his eyes again to look up at Kihyun, at his parted lips, slick and pink, at the frown, the small scrunch of his nose. Changkyun pushes Kihyun further into his mouth and feels himself almost choke, but swallows around him, nose nuzzling in at the hair at the base of Kihyun’s dick. He lets go of Kihyun’s ass, grips at his thighs instead, and Kihyun moans loudly this time, a dry “Ah” that breaks at the end.

The fingers on Changkyun’s hair squeeze and tug a little just as Kihyun says, “Kyunie, wait, I’m--” and Changkyun feels Kihyun tense a little even as he tugs at Changkyun’s hair to pull out of him.

Changkyun slowly pulls back, Kihyun slipping out of his mouth, and quickly moves up to mouth at Kihyun’s neck, wrapping a hand around Kihyun and moving fast around him, squeezing tight.

Kihyun gasps, his hips move a little against the way Changkyun’s hand moves on him and then his body tenses a little when he comes over Changkyun with a shiver and a muffled moan. Changkyun slowly strokes Kihyun through his orgasm, with his other hand soothing his thumb over Kihyun’s cheek as he places soft kisses on his neck and up his jaw.

_I absolutely fucking adore you_.

There aren’t many words worth sharing when you Drift with someone. It’s like a curse. Sometimes no words are needed. And sometimes they are but they’re left unsaid. And now might be one of those moments, when maybe a few words should be said. But Changkyun stays quiet. And Kihyun stays quiet, too, only moves a little to reach for wet towels that he apparently keeps under his bed (Changkyun laughs a little and Kihyun just rolls his eyes) to clean the both of them.

And when he’s done, Kihyun plops down next to Changkyun and pulls him close, pulls the covers on top of them, tangles their legs, arm resting over Changkyun’s as he combs through his hair and silently watches his face without giving much away.

Changkyun has to wonder just how much he’s giving away himself, with how his heart beats in a tight, unfamiliar rhythm in his chest.

“That escalated rather fast, wouldn’t you say?” Changkyun jokes, soft and low. Although, honestly, it feels like a long, long time coming.

The corner of Kihyun’s lip tips up slowly just as his eyes soften a little. And then he snorts and turns his face to the pillow to hide a laugh. Changkyun laughs as well, though, pinches lightly at Kihyun’s side, sees him tense up a little.

“Yep, friendship absolutely _decimated_ ,” Changkyun teases as well, tongue caught between his teeth.

He’s so happy. It shouldn’t be possible to be this happy in the eye of a storm.

Kihyun peeks at him, one eye opening when he turns just a little to look at Changkyun. “I’m offended. It wasn’t even _bad.”_

“Were you _expecting_ it to be bad?” Changkyun gapes.

“I wasn’t even expecting it, to be completely honest.”

“I initiated it and _I_ barely expected it.”

Kihyun huffs a laugh. He’s laughing so much, smiling so much it’s making that warmth in Changkyun’s chest spreading like wildfire. “This Sim simulation is crashing, our owners don’t know what to do with us, apparently.”

“I can’t believe you’ve played the fucking Sims,” Changkyun laughs.

“A long time ago, yeah,” Kihyun says, looks at his own hand as he pulls Changkyun’s hair back, away from his eyes, “Made a ton of alien babies… Sounds disturbing, considering our current situation. I wouldn’t want to have babies with aliens.”

“You have clearly never played Mass Effect...”

“Yes, I have, and I played Fem Shep just so I could fuck the shit out of Garrus Vakarian for every single playthrough.”

“I only realised that afterwards! Fucking straight nerfs, what the fuck. Had to restart the whole damn game.”

Kihyun laughs a little, looks down and bites at his lower lip, seems to struggle a bit with a bit of dry skin and then tongues at it once he manages to pull it off. “I… found out who’s behind the weird experiments…” He glances up. “Moscow was… cold. Like, you think Korea is cold? Russia is a hundred times worse. Paris was fine… pretty. Saw the Eiffel tower at night? Thought you’d like to see it… So, brought you a tiny one.”

Changkyun smiles soft, reaches up to brush at Kihyun’s hair. “Go on… How many times did you mutter ‘fuck this weather’ under your breath?”

Kihyun scoffs a laugh, “So many… Thought my fingers were going to freeze and fall.”

“Sydney’s weather was _great_. Shame about the massive Kaiju.”

“Yeah,” Kihyun sighs, curls a few of Changkyun’s hairs behind his ear. “I saw on TV.”

“Who is it, then? Behind the experiments…”

Kihyun scoffs a laugh and frowns a little. “You know… I’m gonna tell you and you’re going to be disappointed but not surprised.”

“Kihyun, except for one exceptional occurrence I’m sure you’ll remember, my entire life at this point is ‘disappointed but not surprised’.”

Kihyun frowns but smiles a little, “Offended.”

“I said _except_!”

Kihyun sighs, brings his hand down to Changkyun’s waist, thumbs softly at the bit of exposed skin there, giving Changkyun goosebumps all over and making him lean into the touch like he’s starving for it. “United Nations, more specifically, the Secretary-General. He authorized the whole thing.”

Disappointed, but not surprised.

“What the fuck? _Why_ ? That literally shits all over the _point_ of the United Nations!”

“I know,” Kihyun says, rolls his eyes, “I thought the same thing but… You know, I thought he wanted to have some leverage once the war was over? That’s not even it. The guy is taking, and I quote, ‘precautions’. Because who knows what’s going to come for us next when there are aliens pouring out of the ocean. But that’s just the thing, isn’t it? Having something like that… It would end up being used in a petty war against somebody else, hell, maybe even us…”

Changkyun frowns, thinks he’s quite incapable of _stopping_ the way his fingers thread through Kihyun’s hair. “Do you have enough on him to get him removed from the U.N.? Would take away any power he’d have in anything like this…”

“Unfortunately,” Kihyun mumbles, looks down and Changkyun feels a nail scratch lightly at his skin, “If I open my mouth, I’m the one who’ll be removed. But the General has my report and, apparently, an idea. So… I guess we’ll just have to trust him.”

“Yeah,” Changkyun says, scooching a little closer, pokes at Kihyun’s nose with his own. “You did good, though. Out there, too…”

Kihyun’s eyes widen suddenly and he beams at Changkyun. _Beams!_ Changkyun’s never seen Kihyun beam at anything unless the beams are the lasers coming out of his eyes when he glares. But he beams _right_ at him, and Changkyun can feel the last pieces of his heart give in.

“Right! Kyun!” Kihyun shakes Changkyun’s hip a little, “This new Jaeger? The Mark-7? Oh. My. God. It smelled like new when I went in there! And everything looked so polished, the holograms are so fucking real. It fucking projects for you like--like when the Kaiju attacked we had these holograms in front of us to guide us. And it moves like it’s the easiest thing? It’s so cool, I wanna pilot it with you!”

Changkyun’s smile falters just a little. “So… You’re officially a Ranger again?”

Kihyun blinks, looks down, “Yeah… You don’t have to be my co-pilot, though.” He smiles and looks up. “I know you and Yoohyeon are good together.”

Changkyun pouts. “We’re better, though… I miss having you with me, Ki…”

“Ugh,” Kihyun pouts, and then pouts some more and shakes Changkyun softly, saying in a childish voice, “You’re making me emotional!”

It clicks, in way, that this Kihyun in front of him right now kind of resembles the one Changkyun remembers in memories that aren’t his. So, maybe, Kihyun didn’t change all that much. He just locked this bit away, waiting for a safe place to let it out.

It feels like an incredibly privilege to be that place. So Changkyun leans forward again, kisses Kihyun’s pout. Because Kihyun is his safe place, too. Changkyun kisses him like the world isn’t ending, like this _is_ the damn world. It’s easier, like that.

“Can I stay here tonight?” Changkyun asks, barely a whisper.

Kihyun looks between Changkyun’s eyes and sighs, smiles and pulls Changkyun closer. “Yeah… Of course. Whatever you need.”

“What--” Changkyun pokes Kihyun’s nose. “Do _you_ need?”

“You. Alive.”

Changkyun’s heart warms and he wiggles a little on the bed. “I’m melting insiiiiiide.”

Kihyun laughs a little, nuzzles into Changkyun and their noses rub when their foreheads press. “I just need you to stay alive, that’s… That’s all. Maybe it’s stupid,” Kihyun frowns a little, “Maybe it’s really selfish and it makes me sound like a bit of a dick but… I can’t afford to lose you.”

Changkyun pouts as his heart does a lot of things. Falling for Yoo Kihyun feels so easy, all of a sudden. It’s like learning a new word, and then hearing it everywhere. Meeting a stranger, and then seeing them everywhere. Changkyun was okay before; he knew how he felt, but not the extent of it.

“I’m not--” Changkyun says, kissing Kihyun’s cheek. “Going.” Kisses Kihyun’s other cheek. “Anywhere.” Changkyun pulls back, just to lean in fast for a kiss, and a smile. “And neither are you. Watch me save the whole goddamn world so we can go out there and see all of it.”

“You better,” Kihyun chuckles. He sighs, though, hand sneaking under Changkyun’s shirt, up his back to pull him close. “Your skin is so fucking soft, I’m starting to get pissed.” Kihyun says, laughs a little when he says it. And then just raises the covers and Changkyun’s shirt at the same time as he complains, “Seriously, what is this?! You take Omega-3 fats or whatever? This is surreal.”

Changkyun laughs, smiling so wide his face hurts. “I do, actually! Helps with the brain processes, y’know.” Changkyun wiggles a little, reaches down to pull his shirt over his head and chuck it across the room and Kihyun raises his head a little, squints as he watches it go. “There. Have fun.”

“You know,” Kihyun starts, clears his throat and then raises the covers to look at Changkyun’s body. Changkyun feels vulnerable, yes, but… Comfortable in this, with this. Nothing like how he stumbled over everything in a dark room with Hwasa. “This is like eating all you can and then finding out there’s this extra cake they keep hidden in the fridge and… And it looks great and you don’t know what to do with it.”

“Did you just call me a good looking piece of cake?”

Kihyun looks up, squints. “I don’t know… Maybe? Don’t care,” he mumbles and goes down a little to squish his cheek against Changkyun’s chest and hug him. “M’busy. Don’t mind me.”

Changkyun flushes a little, wonders if Kihyun can feel it even as he wraps his arms around him to hold him close. “Glad you appreciate my soft, smooth baby seal appeal.”

“I’m not even this touchy after sex--not that we had… sex… but my point--”

“Yet,” Changkyun says, grinning to himself despite the nervous pull at his stomach.

“Uhm… Right. Yet. What was… What was I saying?” Kihyun groans and Changkyun laughs. “Right! Touching. After. I don’t do that. Well, _didn’t_ do that. And yet here I am. You better feel fucking special.”

“I _do_ , thank you. As long as you feel appropriately special, as well.”

“You joking?” Kihyun looks up, chin on Changkyun’s chest. “Am I not the first guy ever to kiss you? I got the pedestal. Everyone will have to beat me to it.”

Changkyun sighs wistfully. “My first dick. Amazing.”

“Did you just call my dick ‘amazing’?” Kihyun laughs.

“Mmm,” Changkyun just hums. “So far. Still gotta see that full potential, though.”

“Oh my god,” Kihyun hides his face in Changkyun’s chest. “You’re so fucking shameless.”

“Maybe,” Changkyun says. “I’m actually blushing _quite_ a lot, thanks.”

“Same…”

“If I’d known I was gonna come here and jump you…”

Kihyun peeks up. “Yes?”

Changkyun blushes. “Spontaneity doesn’t bode well for situations that need preparation.”

“Hm,” Kihyun hides his face again. “If… If I knew you wanted it that much I could’ve… let you.”

“ _Let_ me?”

“Let you do me.”

It feels like being side swept by a fucking truck. “Oh.”

Kihyun squeezes Changkyun a little. “What do you mean, ‘oh’.”

“I don’t know, it’s just--all my brain could come up with. It was either ‘ _oh_ ’ or ‘ _jesus christ I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and it might be a train_ ’.”

Kihyun snorts a laugh. “A train. The tunnel. There’s a joke in there somewhere.”

“Nothing ‘in’ anything, Kihyun, that’s--” Changkyun laughs, shaking him a little. “The point!”

“Can’t fucking believe you,” Kihyun laughs. He leans back and comes up a little, grabs Changkyun’s face between his hands and kisses his forehead. “You are so silly. I don’t even know what to do with you.”

“Whatever I _let_ you do with me,” Changkyun says with a laugh. “Sorry, couldn’t help myself.”

Kihyun rolls his eyes and then pulls Changkyun to him to squeeze him tightly. “I’m so glad you’re safe… I was… So worried. I swear I’d nuke you if you died.”

Changkyun pouts again. “I was… really scared… Really, _really_ fucking scared…”

“I know, baby, I know…”

Changkyun’s heart jumps a little, and he moves his face to kiss whatever he can reach, somewhere on Kihyun’s neck. “You… Make me feel so safe… In so many ways.”

Fingers thread through Changkyun’s hair, up the back of his head. “And you… remind me that just because, sometimes, one thing doesn’t work out doesn’t mean you don’t get to try again and feel happy about it.” He sighs. “You asked me once, ‘how do you expect to be compatible with someone if you don’t let people in’. And yet, even when I didn’t exactly let you in, you latched on like a limpet to a rock.”

“Aw, _so_ romantic.”

“I’m serious, though…” Kihyun says, leans back to look at Changkyun. “I’m sorry I fucked up. But I just… kept feeling guilty. I thought I wasn’t allowed to be happy about letting people in until I managed to get some sort of… satisfaction? Revenge? I don’t know…” Kihyun glances away, frowns. “But when we killed that first Kaiju? Nothing changed… I started to get a little paranoid, thinking I was stuck. And in a way I was… still kinda am…”

Changkyun frowns a little, eyes soft on Kihyun. “Stuck..?”

“In the past…” Kihyun says, glances up. “But… I’m starting to realize that the past is not what we’re fighting for. Right? It’s the future.”

Changkyun nods small. “Exactly. And that’s my promise to you. The future.”

Kihyun smiles, and it tugs at Changkyun’s heart. “Thank you for turning my autopilot off. That’s all…”

“Sappy,” Changkyun mumbles, and again, it feels so much like just... Gravity, pulling him in, and Changkyun worms a hand in under Kihyun’s shirt as he kisses him, because fuck it, he can. “I need to,” Changkyun says against Kihyun’s lips. “Sleep so I can,” Changkyun interrupts himself for another kiss. “Save the world and shit…”

“Save the world _and_ shit. Preferably in a bathroom. The shitting part, not the saving the world bit.”

“I swear, you’re fueled by dick jokes and poop jokes.”

“At least I have fun,” Kihyun snorts, pulls the covers up enough to cover Changkyun’s naked torso and then clings to him. “Sleep, then.”

“Be here when I wake up?”

“Can’t resist those Omega-3s. Apparently.”

“Imagine if I start using _lotion_.”

Kihyun squints. “Don’t joke about serious things.”

“Some aloe vera,” Changkyun giggles. “Some sweet smellin’ moisturiser.”

Kihyun frowns and then tsks. “No need. You already smell great and feel great.”

Changkyun blushes. A lot. “Oh… That--That train’s coming again…”

“I swear… don’t make train jokes mid sex. No one wants that.”

“Oh, so we _are_ gonna have sex, then? Mhm…”

“Jokes aside,” Kihyun laughs, “We could actually make some money, you know? There are bets.”

Changkyun raises an eyebrow to tease. “Is this you asking me to bottom for you..?”

“Actually!” Kihyun says, laughs, “I placed my bet on the other side of the spectrum.”

“Ah, right, because you thought I was straight,” Changkyun nods, ignoring the blush in his cheeks.

“Well, whatever you are? Kudos.”

Changkyun blinks. He’s red. He knows he’s red. “Glad you liked it…”

“Yeah, yeah. G’night, Kyunie.”

“Noooo, the other one…”

“Ugh… Good night, baby.”

 

 

Sometimes, Kihyun wakes up and wants to get up and go out there. Wants to do something and knows he won’t be able to get back to sleep. But then, there are some rare mornings when all Kihyun wants to do is sleep until he can’t sleep anymore. Usually, these rare morning tend to be accompanied with a pair of Changkyun’s limbs around him. So, it’s no surprise, really, that when Kihyun wakes up (before Changkyun, as usual) he doesn’t really feel like leaving the warmth of the bed.

The wakeup call, however, sounds a few minutes later. And whoever wasn’t awake (Changkyun), pretty much jolts like the world is ending and they’re about to miss it.

Just as things speed up and they start getting dressed without exchanging a word, a few thoughts start popping up in Kihyun’s head. Because, sure, a lot has happened. Maybe more than a lot. And Kihyun knows Changkyun is special. And he knows he’s special to Changkyun. But almost dying also has a strange effect on people, makes them more impulsive when making decisions--sometimes decisions based on ephemeral, fleeting feelings or moods.

Which is what makes Kihyun realize, just as they step out of his room, ready to face another day, that he wants this to be more than just something fleeting--a friendship with some benefits because, hey, the world is ending. And that’s… complicated? No. It doesn’t feel complicated. But it’s probably not what Changkyun wants.

“I’ll see you later?” Changkyun asks, still hoping from side to side as he tries to fit his shoes in.

Kihyun blinks at nothing and then looks at him. “I’ll… Sure.” _Shit._

Changkyun frowns, straightening up and correcting the collar of his white lab coat. “Yeah… Are you okay..?”

Kihyun blinks again. It’s not even eight and he’s already trying to control a whiplash-like feeling. “Yeah,” he lies. Smiles a little. “I’ll see you later.”

Changkyun opens his mouth to say something when a scientist Kihyun doesn’t recognise calls from the other end of the hallway and Changkyun whips his head around to them. “Gonna go science,” Changkyun says, smiling soft and walking backwards, gives a little wave and a “Bye!” before jogging over, accompanying the other scientist around the corner and down the hall.

Kihyun lets go of a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. He watches Changkyun go, slowly leans back against the wall, and then looks down, feels his face go incredibly hot. “Oh… my god.”

He’s pretty sure he’s not exactly _catching_ feelings. More like he's just looking at the ones he’s got laid out for him. Because Changkyun didn’t ruin anything. With or without feelings. But… But this is different. Was different. It wasn’t just a ‘get it out your system’ thing. It wasn’t just physical. It mixed in with… feelings.

“I have… _feelings..?”_

“Good to know,” Seola says, from right next to him-- _when?!_ \--as she watches him with curious eyes.

Kihyun jumps a little, says, “Hi!” with a tiny voice.

“I was starting to think you were a psychopath.”

“What?!”

“You know. Not having feelings, yadda yadda.”

Kihyun feels his face heat up again and looks away. “I…” _Sincerely hope this doesn’t ruin it._

“So, Changkyun, huh?”

Kihyun jumps again, looks at Seola as if she just caught fire. “W--What?”

“Didn’t he just leave your room?” Seola asks, blinking all innocent. “Looked like him…”

“Yeah… So?”

“He leaves your room,” she holds up a finger, and then another. “You reminisce about the existence of your feelings… No idea what _that_ could mean…”

Kihyun frowns despite himself. “None of your business.”

“Ah, aaaaand he’s back,” Seola laughs, pats at Kihyun’s shoulder.

Kihyun looks at Seola and then away, frowns some more and sighs. _Calm down. It’s fine._ He side-glances at her, then. “How are you..?”

“Grand,” Seola deadpans, starts walking. “Hungry!”

Kihyun groans as he pushes away from the wall and follows after her. “After… after breakfast. Wanna train?” _Ugh. Trains._

“Sure!” Seola chirps. “One condition, though: I get to say the sentence after this one without you punching me.”

Kihyun raises an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“It’s not difficult to see that you two adore each other, and personally, I think you make each other happy and you actually look really cute together. There. Said.”

Kihyun bites at his lower lip, glances down. There are so many things he could say; _he’s just my co-pilot; we’re just friends, best friends; things happen when the world threatens to go fubar._ But all of them are just excuses. They could be truths but, as it is, they’re just excuses.

“D’you…” Kihyun clears his throat, glances away, “Think?”

“ _Yep_ ,” Seola says, popping the ‘p’. She looks over her shoulder at him. “Don’t you?”

“I… hadn’t really thought about it until this morning...”

Her eyes visibly soften, and she waits for him to walk up next to her. “What changed..? You don’t have to tell me, but…” She softly punches at his arm. “You’re my friend. Kyunie, too. Want y’all to be happy.”

And it’s okay to let people in. Kihyun knows that now. It’s okay to let them in and be happy about it, find comfort in it without feeling guilty. Because the past is gone and done.

“I did,” Kihyun admits. “I think… I changed.”

“‘ _Feelings_ ’ can do that to you,” she says, with a soft expression and a soft smile.

“Yeah, I…” Kihyun rolls his eyes at himself but smiles a little. “I guess I’ve had ‘feelings’ for a while now, I just… I was so busy focusing on everything else I didn’t want to properly address them. Until he forced me to. Hm. ‘Forced’ is not the right word… He didn’t force me to do anything but… Yeah.”

“There are some lines you can’t uncross,” Seola says, conversationally. “But that’s okay, too, if it’s the better side of the line.”

“Yeah,” Kihyun chuckles. Maybe it will be okay. After all, it’s them. “Thank you, Hyunjung.”

“It’s Seola.”

“Hyunjung.”

“Seola!”

“Idiot.”

“Dick.”

“You bet.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Battle Cry fanart [here](https://twitter.com/HamHamKi_KH/status/1137556670890950656) and [here](https://twitter.com/yooki221/status/1138297275149574144)!!!


	13. So, How's Jason?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Attraction is a funny thing. It’s easy to feel and easy to ignore. But it’s always a magnet. It’s that thought inside one’s head that thinks, ‘there’s something about this’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now playing: [Immortals](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSyXABtf9oo) by Fall Out Boy (Remix) ft. Black Thought.

 

 

“Okay,” Changkyun says, positioning Jeremy in his little upside down glass bowl (it made more sense, really; it’s like having a goldfish, except Changkyun doesn't have to feed it and it’s filled with colourful sticky notes) and nodding over at Jason. “Turn it on.”

Jason, pokes the blue button over the table and, even though they don’t hear anything per se, Jeremy suddenly starts wobbling like crazy, to the point the glass bowl starts shaking with it.

Changkyun smiles wide, bounces a little. “It works! Well done, man.”

Jason laughs softly, ears a little red ( _oh boy_ ), “Thank you…” He points at his computer. “I can start incorporating this in a file for the A.I.s. They’ll be able to reproduce these sounds for the Kaiju.”

“I’ll take any advantage I can get,” Changkyun says, leaning in to watch Jeremy wiggle. _If only antimatter water blobs could scream..._ “Can you… turn it off? I feel kinda bad for this lil fella…”

Jason laughs, turns the sound off and Jeremy stops wiggling. _Poor thing._ “The world’s end is going to end and you’re going to keep it. Aren’t you?”

“Who, Jeremy?” Changkyun asks, putting both hands on the glass bowl as Jeremy floats up to the top, and pouts. “I love Jeremy, of course I’m keeping him.”

“Him…? Hm. I like the little decorations,” Jason says, smiling.

“I’m thinking of taking the sticky notes out and throwing a small row of fairy lights in here. And glitter! Shit, that would be pretty…”

“Oh!” Jason rushes to a table nearby and brings out a pack of sterilized tweezers. “I can surgically remove them for you!”

Changkyun laughs, “Sure, let’s celebrate this sonic victory with antimatter water surgery. I’ll hold the bowl up a little.”

Jason pull at a chair nearby and rolls it close, next to Changkyun, pulling the pack of tweezers open. When Jason sits down and leans over however, Changkyun feels their foreheads bump just a little.

And _(of course)_ because the universe has a way of doing things its way, when the doors to the lab open, it’s not only Shownu who walks in but also Kihyun. Kihyun, who just blinks lazily at the two of them.

“Hi,” Changkyun says, smiling awkwardly, eyes darting between Kihyun and Shownu, leaning away from Jason’s personal bubble. “We’re just… performing light… water surgery. What can I help you with?”

Kihyun tongues at the corner of his lips and stares unimpressed for a moment before glancing at the other scientists, who just shrug, all of them _(traitors!)_. Shownu, however, raises an eyebrow.

“I assume… this is important work..?”

“For morale, yes,” Changkyun nods. “Er, we just,” he puts the bowl down. “Finished the hertz prototype, actually!”

“Oh,” Shownu blinks, nods. “Good. I came by to tell you that there is a slight complication. Only one of the Jaegers will be ready in the next twenty four hours. Paladin. But Hyungwon hurt his arm, he can’t pilot. Both Tempest and Rogue will be down for at least a week.”

Changkyun blinks, fast, at Shownu and then at Kihyun, back to Shownu. “That’s easy, though. You’ve piloted with Hoseok before.”

Nobody _hopes_ for anything that has to do with going out there and almost dying. But _still_...

“Yes,” Shownu says, side-glances at Kihyun. “Which is what I’ll have to do…” He looks at Changkyun again. “The condition for Captain Yoo’s reinstatement was that he’d be under my care while piloting a Jaeger, though. So… Until said otherwise, the two of you? No funny business. No complaining. You stay put.”

“Oh,” Changkyun says, feels his body slump a little, glancing at Kihyun, who just keeps looking at the other scientists. “Sir, I--I don’t agree with you.”

Shownu raises an eyebrow. “It’s not a matter of agreeing… I don’t exactly… Agree, either. But I have people above me. People above Kihyun. And if he wants to help, like we know he does, he needs to play by the rules.”

“You’re really going to sideline one of your best fighters because of ‘protocol’?” Changkyun scoffs, rolls his eyes and turns back to his computer. “Here I thought the Military were good strategists…”

Jason clears his throat. “No offense, sir, but I agree with Changkyun.”

“See? Smart people.”

“It took three Jaegers and then a fourth to bring down the last Kaiju…” Jason says. “Who knows how big this one will be, or how strong, or how much smarter…”

“And yet,” Changkyun sighs. “Let’s send out _only two_ Jaegers with barely compatible drift partners. Makes sense, right? Riiiight.”

“Good to know you were listening,” Shownu says and then turns around to leave. “Captain.” He calls when Kihyun just hovers for a second.

“If I die, we all die,” Changkyun sing-songs, puffs a little and leans on his elbow.

Still, his stomach turns a little on itself and he shivers. Going out there without Kihyun? Feels a lot like a death sentence.

“Kihyun,” Changkyun says, then, soft enough to easily be ignored, if he wanted to. But Kihyun stops by the door and looks over his shoulder.

“Hm?”

Changkyun smiles, and sticks out his tongue. It’s a small thing, but he needs a smile. And Kihyun seems to pause for a moment before sticking his tongue out as well.

“So… does that mean,” Jason blinks, turns to Changkyun, face in his field of vision even though Kihyun is still by the door, “You and Yoohyeon will get to pilot Obsidian Wolf?!”

“Not if I have anything to say about it,” Changkyun says, eyes still on Kihyun.

“Captain,” Shownu calls again from the hall and Kihyun blinks, sends Jason a small glare before walking away.

Jason shivers a little and it makes Changkyun laugh.

“What is it?”

“I just…” Jason shivers again. “Felt like I had Death crawling all over my back, ugh…”

Changkyun laughs again. “It’s only Kihyun. Seriously… You act like he hates you or something.”

Jason pouts a little, glances at Changkyun. “So… He doesn’t hate me?”

“I don’t think so? He’s always asking, ‘So how’s Jason’, so,” Changkyun shrugs, plopping down on his chair again. “He’s just a little possessive, don’t worry too much.”

“Possessive?”

“Yeeep. He looked at Yoohyeon like that, too.”

“Oh,” Jason nods, sits down as well and picks up the tweezers. “So… It’s not like a, a, a relationship thing? It’s just… a protective friend?”

Changkyun blinks with a soft frown. _I don’t… know_ , _actually._ He blushes a little, though, as memories surface. He clears his throat and lifts the bowl a little. “It’s complicated.” _Ugh!_ _What a horrible thing to say!_

“Hm,” Jason nods, looks a little sad as he reaches inside the bowl to remove a yellow paper. “I hope it… gets less complicated, then.”

Changkyun’s _heart_. Goddammit.

“Hey, er, do you… know that Hwasa girl? From Engineering?”

Jason shrugs, “Not personally. But I’ve heard of her, yes.”

“Well,” Changkyun says, feeling awkward. “She has a… type.”

Jason glances up, confused. “A type?”

“You know,” Changkyun shrugs, smiling small. “Nerdy types with a sense of humour.”

Jason blinks, tilts his head. “So… You’re her type?”

“Guess I was,” he mumbles, clears his throat. “And _so_ are _you_. If you would… like that?” Changkyun winces a little at himself, wants to cringe into the damn floor.

Jason blinks again and then snorts a laugh. “That… That is the strangest rejection I’ve ever gotten!”

Changkyun whines. “Nooo, don’t call it a rejection! I’m not _rejecting_ you, I’m just… Not… Available...”

“So, if you _were_ available…” Jason teases with a little smile.

“That is a dangerous road that will not help either of us and is neither here _nor_ there,” Changkyun quickly rambles, flushes.

“You make it really complicated for me,” Jason chuckles. “But okay… I’ll… Be neither here nor there,” he says as he picks up another paper from Jeremy.

“Aish, don’t say it like that either…” Changkyun mumbles. “I don’t know how to handle this, okay! I was alone for years and then suddenly, boom, attention, and I start floundering like a dying fish yelling ‘sorry!’.”

Jason laughs a little. “See? So unfair. Because that’s kind of cute.”

“Shut up,” Changkyun grumbles, eyes narrowed at Jeremy.

“Do you like him?” Jason asks casually.

Changkyun sighs. “Jason…”

“You know…” Jason says as he picks up a few more papers. “It’s okay. You don’t have to be afraid to say ‘no’ to people. It’s a bit… difficult, sometimes. But it’s still the right thing to do. People spend a lot of time apologizing for how they feel instead of saying ‘thank you’. So…” Jason shrugs. “It sucks for me, I guess. But I’ll live.”

“You say that, but… Still doesn’t feel like a great time to say ‘thank you’,” Changkyun says, smiling sheepishly. “Then again, I said ‘thank you’ for a one night stand once. I’m _terrible_ at social cues…”

Jason laughs. “Yep. Yes, you are. But yes… I’m fine being rejected. Don’t give me hope just because you feel sorry for me.” He winks. “I’m fine. I’m helping save the world, right?”

“I _don’t_ feel sorry for you,” Changkyun huffs. “But if you like girls, I can _totally_ set you up with the hottest one in the Shatterdome. Definitely won’t feel sorry for you about _that_ ,” Changkyun laughs, watches Jason pick out the last paper.

“Well… Why not then?” Jason says with a little stretch.

“Great! Now. Where the fuck are we going to get glitter.”

Jason snaps his fingers. “Dr. Lee had some in the Bio Lab!”

“Minhyuk,” Changkyun deadpans. “Of course it would be Lee Minhyuk.”

“He was testing the glitter on the Kaiju for some reason…”

“I can hear it now: Increased visibility!”

Jason laughs and pats Changkyun’s shoulder. “Come on, let’s go.”

  


 

Changkyun is running every damn test he can think of. He’s thinking inside the box, outside the box, left of the fucking box, with a list of theories he needs to figure out before the entire universe inverts in on itself and fucks up the planet in the process. He’s barely left that lab, except for the slight glitter detour, but since then it’s just been… Maths. Physics. Chemistry and even more maths. His brain hurts and he just wants mashed potatoes.

So, to the cafeteria.

“No,” Changkyun says, when the woman tries to serve him any other vegetable next to his mashed potatoes and pork bangers. “More mash.”

“It’s… a balanced meal with the vegetables.”

“Mash.”

“Are you su--?”

“Mash.”

She plops a spoonful of mash onto his plate. He waits. She adds another. Finally, a semblance of an expression crosses his face and he bows with a, “Thank you!” and walks to his table.

He’s happily bringing a fork full of mashed potatoes to his mouth when Hyungwon places a tray nearby, followed by Hoseok and then Kihyun.

They all have juice. Changkyun does not have any juice.

In a small, sad voice, Changkyun says, “I forgot the juice,” and watches as Kihyun silently puts his own juice on Changkyun’s tray.

Changkyun is touched. Really touched. He almost cries a little. God, maybe his brain is mashed potatoes, too. _Mathed potatoes._

Instead of acknowledging that or crying, Changkyun just shovels more potatoes in his mouth and swallows it along with his emotions. Maybe the potatoes will bring his brain back.

“Thank you,” he says, a bit belatedly, mouth full of food.

“My arm’s broken, where’s my extra juice?” Hyungwon pouts, sitting down across from Changkyun.

Hoseok sits next to him, gives him his own juice and then glances at Kihyun, who rolls his eyes and walks away to, most likely, get them two more packs of juice.

“There’s a lot of butter in this,” Changkyun says, conversationally. “And milk. It’s nice.”

“Hm,” Hyungwon nods, seems to agree.

“Are you okay?” Hoseok asks, eyes on Changkyun.

“I close my eyes and all I see is numbers,” Changkyun says, voice even. “Numbers and glitter.”

“You’re working hard,” Hoseok smiles, glances at Kihyun when he sits down next to him and gives him a pack of juice. “Thank you!”

“You’re welcome,” Kihyun mumbles.

Changkyun leans forward, whispers loudly at Hoseok. “He’s an _actual_ angel, did you know that?”

Hoseok blinks. “Who?”

Changkyun points at Kihyun, and then shoves some more potato in his mouth. He really should go take a shower… Maybe that’ll wake him up.

“Oh,” Hoseok smiles small, glances at Hyungwon (who glances back and shrugs before going back to his food) and then looks at Kihyun, who’s not really paying attention. “So--”

“So,” Kihyun says, then, eyes on his food, “How’s Jason?”

“Gay for me,” Changkyun says, noms. “Why?”

Kihyun pauses, frowns at his food and then shoves some veggies into his mouth before looking away, “Just asking…”

“He’s also not my type and going on a date with Hwasa,” Changkyun smiles, bites into a pork banger.

Hyungwon raises an eyebrow and looks between the two of them, talks under his breath. “What kind of weird mating ritual is this...?”

Hoseok elbows Hyungwon as if to shut him up and then says (with a strange smile), “Uhm… So, Jason likes you? And… He’s… Going on a date with Hwasa? The girl who… also… liked you… Am I getting this right?”

“I feel like you have a point and that it’s absolutely _scathing_.” Changkyun says.

“Me?” Hoseok blinks, shakes his head slowly. “A point? No! No points! Just… Confused?”

Changkyun shrugs. “He thought Kihyun was going to come after him with a knife. And Hwasa and I are friends, she doesn’t like me like that anymore.”

“It’s like,” Hyungwon says casually, eyes on the carrot on his fork, “When you throw leftovers in the trash and fungus grows.”

“Wait,” Changkyun laughs, biting both lips in not to laugh before waving his fork around. “Are you saying that… the people who liked me are _trash_ and that the potential of love is a fungus? Is that what you’re going with?”

Hyungwon scrunches his nose, “It spreads and then it’s impossible to get rid of… Like bathroom fungus… Nasty, little shit…”

Kihyun nods absently, “Nasty indeed.”

“Aha! You _are_ listening!” Changkyun says, pointing the fork at Kihyun with a grin.

“This is… the weirdest conversation I’ve had in days,” Hoseok chuckles.

A tray lands next to Changkyun’s and he feels a press of lips on his cheek, turns to watch Yoohyeon plop down next to him with a bright smile.

Hyungwon groans. “Not you _too_ …”

“Me?” Yoohyeon blinks, looks at Changkyun. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No,” Changkyun says, rolling his eyes. “Hyungwon is just a jealous little bean.”

“Jealous?” Hyungwon scoffs. “I don’t want anything to do with you, _bean.”_

“Not jealous of _me,_ ” Changkyun says, makes as if flipping hair over his shoulder. “Jealous of the charm I clearly ooze. Ooze being, of course, the worst word ever.”

Yoohyeon blinks again, sees Kihyun and grins, elbows Changkyun and whispers. “So, so, so… Where did you spend the night?”

Changkyun winks as if that answers _everything_. And to Drift partners? It kind of does. So, Yoohyeon beams and then bumps her forehead on Changkyun’s shoulder before turning to her food. It’s easy enough to just wink and think that’s everything, though. But sometimes it’s not.

It’s hard to know what to do with the fact that he’s falling for someone who might do better not knowing he is. Changkyun knows Kihyun--perhaps, he thinks, more than anyone at the moment--but it’s difficult to find that line between ‘hey, this is fun! We like each other!’ and ‘I’m falling in love with you’. Because Changkyun isn’t sure _which_ is the least complicated. For Changkyun, it’s really simple; Kihyun makes him happy. Kihyun is his safe space. Kihyun is his best friend. But Kihyun is also incredibly beautiful and it’s hard to imagine now, after having kissed him, never doing that again.

Changkyun munches on his potatoes, looks at Kihyun. Probably for way longer than he should. But it helps. It helps in the same way it doesn’t, because, again, ‘it’s complicated’. But it doesn’t _feel_ complicated.

This morning, Kihyun had looked distant. And that’s okay, too, because Changkyun knows this is new for him. Not brand new, maybe, the way it is for Changkyun, but unused to. So it’s okay that they didn’t really talk about it. It’s okay that they stepped out of the room, and for some reason, it felt like nothing had happened.

At least, that’s what Changkyun keeps telling himself.

“Did the General talk to you?” Hoseok asks Yoohyeon and Changkyun. “He’ll be going with us next time.”

Changkyun stuffs his mouth with food. Keeps him from saying anything. Yoohyeon’s bright smile falters a little, though. But she seems to agree with the stuffing her mouth with food bit. Like it helps.

Hyungwon laughs. “Curb the enthusiasm, you two.”

“I’m kind of jealous,” Hoseok admits, sighs. “Really wish I could pilot Obsidian Wolf. But her fighting style isn’t the same as Paladin’s so… I’d struggle.

“Hm, yesh,” Yoohyeon munches, “I never really understood that bit. The fighting style? What does that even mean?”

“Body language,” Kihyun says casually as he finishes his food, “Everyone has their own. When you match, it means you two share the same type of body language. The Paladin’s body language is like… Greco-Roman wrestling or whatever. Makes it funny to imagine when you picture Hyungwon inside it.”

Hyungwon leans back to glare with indignation at Kihyun, “Hey!”

“So,” Changkyun says, taking smaller, manageable bites around which to speak. “What’s our body language, then?”

Kihyun glances at Changkyun and then away, “Yours, mine and Yoohyeon’s is considered the Street Fighter body language. Obsidian’s is the same but it mixes with blade dancer. The Tempest’s is blade dancer.”

“Then how come the General can pilot any Jaeger?” Yoohyeon asks.

“Because,” Kihyun sighs, “Anyone can pilot whatever Jaeger they want. Doesn’t mean they’ll do good. Just like… Some people prefer to be stealthy and others like the vanguard? Like that. And the General is… Good. He’s really good. So… He can afford to pilot whatever he wants.”

“Still amazing that he’s piloting after so long, though!” Hoseok says. “I really thought I’d never see him in a Jaeger again.”

“Desperate times,” Changkyun says, waving his fork about. “Desperate measures. Stupid protocols. Yadda yadda...”

Yoohyeon looks at Changkyun. “Why are you grumpy?”

Changkyun glances at Kihyun and then stabs at his mash again. “Been working hard, is all… I think I’m developing a headache…”

Hyungwon flicks a carrot at Kihyun and it lands inside his glass. Kihyun glares at it. “So, how was it?”

“How was what?” Kihyun asks, leans forward to look at Hyungwon by Hoseok’s other side.

“Piloting a Mark-7 with the General. Obviously. What else would I be talking about?”

Kihyun raises an eyebrow and then switches his glass with Hoseok’s, who gapes. “Silent. I think that’s the word. But also…” Kihyun looks at table while he thinks. “There’s this… presence. He makes good calls. And he trusts whatever you decide. But it’s like… There’s pressure. Like you can’t afford to fail. It’s that kind of silence…” Kihyun shrugs. “As for the Mark-7, it was… great. Smooth as fuck.”

“As far as I’m concerned,” Changkyun says. “They should be making as many of these Mark-7s as they can if they want to give us any chance to fight what’s coming. We keep patching up these old Jaegers like they won’t just fail again.”

“I think you’ll be fine,” Kihyun says as he gets up, glances at Yoohyeon for a moment and then away. “I’ll see you guys.”

“Byeeee,” Hoseok waves and then stops. “Ah, Ki--I mean, Captain. When will the ceremonies happen, do you know?” Hoseok points between him and Hyungwon. “We want to attend.”

Kihyun blinks. “Ah, the funerals… They’re holding symbolic ones in the end, when everything’s done. The families have already been notified, though. So… those probably already happened, the private ones.”

“It’s kinda fucked up,” Hyungwon mumbles, “That they don’t even have a body to cremate or bury.”

“It’s kinda fucked up,” Changkyun repeats. “That there are less people attending the funeral than the funeral is for.”

“Funerals are for the living, not the dead,” Kihyun says, starts walking away. “We should appreciate people while they live. Not after they die.”

Hyungwon blinks slowly. “That was deep.” And sighs, gets up and looks at the rest of them around the table at all of them. “Don’t make me come to your goddamn funeral. Okay? Okay.” And walks away.

Yoohyeon looks at her food and puts her fork down. “I’m… Gonna go to my room.” And looks at Changkyun. “See you later!” She gets up and rushes away. Changkyun notices, though, she barely ate.

So, when Changkyun finishes his own food on autopilot, he takes her tray with his, grabs a few different fruits, and takes them with him when he goes to his room, as well. With a small note:

_‘Sleep well. Gonna go appreciate the living’._

 

  


 

 

Canceling the apocalypse is easy on paper. Theories are easy on paper. The practicality bit is totally different. The Earth has been poisoned by the life humanity was looking for in the stars. And now they have to fix it.

It’s different, Kihyun knows. He’s been in the Shatterdome. He’s been in the city. And he’s been out there, in the world. So, he knows what’s happening. He knows what circles around the news. He knows people are scared. Maybe not as much as in the first few years during the first war, but scared nonetheless. And it’s a different feeling, being out there as a civilian and being in here, working, doing something, living a life in which fighting Kaiju is every day of future past.

In the Shatterdome, this massive military city, people live a different reality. They worry about different things. And dying? Sure. No one wants to die in the hands (claws) of sea monsters. But death is kind of inevitable. And it kind of feels that all they do is race against it. Sometimes, they win. Sometimes, death wins.

And, of course. Things work the way they do because there are orders to follow, protocol. But… But Kihyun has to agree with Changkyun, this time. So;

“Protocol can kiss my ass,” Kihyun tells himself as he pulls a clean shirt over his head, feels the soft cotton smooth over his torso.

It doesn’t take a genius to tell that Yoohyeon is an inch away from breaking. Kihyun has never Drifted with her, but both of them have Drifted with Changkyun. So, there are things, little tells, they have in common. Because the truth is, most likely, Yoohyeon and Kihyun are Drift compatible, too.

Kihyun plops down on the bed and feels like he’s melting. His sweatpants feel baggy and comfortable. He’s clean, in clean clothes, lying on clean sheets… Best feeling in the world. And this? This is probably why he’s considered such a boring human being; because he finds comfort in shit no one thinks much about and likes to be alone.

The world hates him, though, so of course his pager beeps on the small table next to his bed.

‘C: CAN I USE YOUR SHOWER’

Kihyun frowns. _What?_

‘K: WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOURS’

‘C: SHARED WITH GIRL NO LOCK ON DOOR’

‘K: SINCE WHEN IS THAT A PROBLEM’

‘C: DO YOU WANT TO FUCK ME OR NOT’

Kihyun sits up, almost drops the pager. He stares at it and feels his face go hot. _What?!_ He’s pretty sure there’s a way in which things are supposed to be done. Or at least there’s this sort of ‘social rule book’ people tend to follow. But Changkyun is… an asshole. Which doesn’t help Kihyun’s situation at all! _Stupid words…_

‘K: SINCE WHEN IS THIS ABOUT ME’

‘C: IT’S YOUR SHOWER’

‘K: FINE’

He gets up, reaches for his card and flicks it over the lock before going back to bed and typing, ‘K: IT’S OPEN’ and throwing the pager over the table. He turns on his side, eyes on the wall and…

Why is his heart so loud? And why the hell is he so nervous all of a sudden?

It’s barely a few minutes later when Kihyun hears the door open, and Changkyun dips the bed a little as he leans in to smack a loud kiss to Kihyun’s cheek.

“Hello!” he says, and leans back, walking to the bathroom, what looks like a sports bag slung over his shoulder.

Kihyun frowns and turns back to look at the wall. A great wall. Sturdy. Metal revestiment on the inside. Bunker like. Kihyun could detonate a grenade in here and it would probably only burn himself up. The room wouldn’t even dent.

The shower sounds in the bathroom, and Kihyun can _swear_ he hears Changkyun humming to himself. The door is barely closed, _for god’s sake…_

“You’re quiet!” Changkyun calls from the bathroom.

“You’re chatty,” Kihyun mumbles, frowns. Is this really happening? Are they really… Going to… “I’m tired, that’s all.”

“Oh,” Changkyun says. “Wanna just sleep? That’s fine, too. Just missed you, is all.”

Kihyun frowns some more. It’s weird. Up until now, he’s never wanted the complicated bit, only the easy bit. And now, Changkyun, one of Kihyun’s favourite people, who’s actually quite good looking and who Kihyun, apparently, really, really likes is here to get the easy bit and Kihyun just feels like...

“I can literally hear you frowning, I swear,” Changkyun laughs.

Like it’s not what this should be about.

Kihyun takes a deep breath. “You’re silly.”

“Mm,” Changkyun hums, and then it’s just the sound of the shower until it isn’t.

Kihyun pokes at the wrinkles on the bed sheets. “So, did Jason confess to you or something?”

Changkyun pokes his head out of the bathroom, shoulders bare, hair wet and face scrunched in a frown. “Seriously?”

“What,” Kihyun says, looking over. “I’m curious. That’s all.”

Changkyun rolls his eyes with a small smile before ducking back in. “He kinda did, yeah. Told him I wasn’t available.”

“You’re not available?”

“Well. You know,” Changkyun says, and it’s not a very powerful hairdryer so he can easily talk over it. “Like… ‘Hey, I’m flattered, but I’m taken’.”

Kihyun raises an eyebrow. _O...kay?_ “So, you don’t like him like that?”

“Would it bother you if I did?”

_For a while, yes._ “Dunno. I don’t own your feelings, do I? Nothing I can do about that.”

“Not really what I asked, is it,” Changkyun says, and the hair dryer turns off, and Changkyun, in a fluffy white robe, walks over and plops down on the bed, puffs a lock of damp hair out of his eyes. “Why do you think I’m here, Ki..? And I don’t want whatever answer you think I’m looking for, what you think is the _best_ thing to say or the most socially acceptable. I’m asking why _you_ think I’m here.”

“‘Cause…” Kihyun trails off and then glances up, “I’m great in bed?” He snorts when he says it, though, rolls his eyes at himself and huffs a laugh, looks away. “I don’t know, Changkyun. I don’t know… And that’s precisely…” _Shut up._ “I’m… happy that you’re here. Not for… Not because of that. Just… that you’re here.”

Changkyun’s shoulders seem to melt. “ _That’s_ why I’m here… Silly.”

“Weren’t you here for my shower or whatever?” Kihyun jokes.

“Excuses, excuses,” Changkyun mumbles, puffs another small breath. “I’m… I’m here because… You make me forget,” Changkyun shrugs, looking down at his lap, white material folded over it, exposed skin a little pink from the shower. “That the world is ending. That I am _surrounded_ by uncertainty… Because you’re my happy and safe place. And that’s _really_ selfish of me, I guess, but…” Changkyun just shrugs small again. “Good shower, though…”

Kihyun watches Changkyun for a moment, chest a little tight. It’s funny how things change. And it wasn’t because they Drifted. It was because they talked to each other. _Talking._ That bit is so important. And Changkyun is so fucking beautiful. Maybe even more so, in a stupid, obnoxious romantic way, now that the world is ending. Because that’s just the thing, isn’t it? No one cares about the world until it’s nearly gone. No one cares about people until they’re no longer here.

Kihyun has lived his life, especially the past seven years, working towards an empty goal. And then in comes this stupid asshole and makes him fall in love, of all people.

“Of course it’s a good shower,” Kihyun says, “It’s mine.”

Changkyun smiles small, fiddling with his fingers on his lap. A nervous tick.

“Hey,” Kihyun says, sits up and a little closer to Changkyun, chin on Changkyun’s shoulder. “You okay?” Kihyun tilts his head and blinks.

Changkyun stops fiddling. “Yeah… So--sorry.”

Kihyun frowns, “Why?”

“For being so…” Changkyun scoffs softly. “Bold. Was just trying not to be too nervous…”

“You said I’m your safe place, right? So… You don’t have to be nervous.”

“Watch me,” Changkyun jokes.

“Oh,” Kihyun smiles, eyes on Changkyun’s face, “I am.”

Changkyun flushes, shoves at him a little. “Hey, no fair! I said--” He flushes some more, starts fiddling again. “‘Fuck me’ and you said ‘fine’. Not exactly enthusiastic, let me overthink, will you.”

“Sorry, was too busy freaking out,” Kihyun chuckles, glances away.

“You were freaking out?”

“Yeah… Kinda,” he looks at Changkyun again. “You’re… important. Not just some guy I met and thought, ‘ah, good go’. It’s… important. So…”

“I know,” Changkyun says, softly. “I know it’s important…”

Kihyun reaches up and picks up a few strands of hair, pulls them behind Changkyun’s ear. “So… what do you want?”

Changkyun visibly swallows a little, glancing up at Kihyun, at his hand on his face. Kihyun thinks Changkyun’s fiddling with his damn hands again, but then the robe loosens a little, and Changkyun rolls his shoulder to let the robe slip down them.

Kihyun doesn’t usually have brain freezes, not really. But he’s pretty sure his whole body is on pause. He only remembers to breathe when he realizes he might be dying a little. So, he takes a deep breath and hopes that if something is wrong, Changkyun will let him know.

Kihyun lets his hand slowly trail down Changkyun’s neck, from his face down to his back and leans in to kiss his shoulder, finding goosebumps there, and then further in to kiss his cheek and then catch his lips between his own. Changkyun gives a soft sigh, throwing his arms loosely over Kihyun’s shoulders, and Kihyun can feel fingertips peeking out from the ends of the robe’s sleeves, scratch lightly into Kihyun’s hair.

It’s not too difficult to realize why some things are complicated and some aren’t. Things are complicated when people get in the way. When feelings don’t correspond or expectations are too high or too low. Because the reality of it is much simpler, when it comes to relationships, decisions are easy, feelings are easy. But excuses are made. And, sometimes, people want more than they can have. Which is also fine and not complicated at all. It all comes down to deciding and not stalling.

So, Kihyun doesn’t stall. But he also takes his time because Changkyun is important. And because he’s someone on who time should be wasted, especially when he feels like he has so little of it.

Kihyun ghosts his fingers down Changkyun’s spine, just a soft press of fingertips, and cups at his face with his other hand, slides it all the way to the back of Changkyun’s neck and keeps kissing him while leaning back and pulling Changkyun’s on top of him.

“You’re so soft,” Kihyun mumbles against Changkyun’s lips, feels the soft goosebumps on Changkyun’s back. _Stupid baby skin._

“You’ve said,” Changkyun breathes, arching a little to press himself against Kihyun, the robe falling further from his shoulders and he pulls his arms back to shrug the thing off completely and press in again, kissing at Kihyun deeply, tongue against his.

Kihyun brings his hands to Changkyun’s shoulder blades, keeps kissing as he smooths them down over soft, warm skin, all the way to Changkyun’s lower back and then up the swell of his ass. Kihyun grabs at Changkyun’s asscheeks and pulls him close, bucking his own hips up a little into Changkyun’s warmth.

_Soft._

When Changkyun breaks the kiss with a gasp and then tries to kiss again, Kihyun doesn’t let him, just leans his head back and watches Changkyun’s face even though his lips are just a breath away.

_Beautiful._

Changkyun seems to blink himself out of a daze and looks at Kihyun, looks him up and down before reaching out to tug at Kihyun’s shirt, pushing it up as he ducks down to mouth at Kihyun’s stomach.

Kihyun’s instinct reaction is so curl a little at the touch, but he relaxes after a shiver or two, cards his fingers through Changkyun’s hair and thinks, in a conversational tone with a barely conscious part of his brain that, yes, this guy has a really nice ass. _Been knew._

Changkyun keeps tugging at the shirt, though, mumbles a deep, “Off,” as he scrapes his teeth across Kihyun’s hip bone before nipping at it.

“Bossy,” Kihyun mumbles as he rolls his eyes  little and raises his back just enough to pull his shirt up.

And it’s special, alright. Because Kihyun doesn’t do seconds and now he’s already considering a third. Omega-3 and bubble butts. A dangerous combination. But libido aside--it’s hard to put the libido aside when Changkyun is quite literally right on top of Kihyun’s crotch-- _this_ is not _just_ sex. And that’s something Kihyun settles on.

Changkyun kisses up his chest, tongueing at a nipple _(help?)_ even as he makes to push Kihyun’s sweatpants down, palm at Kihyun’s dick through his underwear. Kihyun lets out a breath through his lips and looks up at the ceiling. His chest is filling with warmth and his heart is threatening to break through it.

_It’s not usually this overwhelming, is it?_

“Quick question,” Kihyun mumbles, eyes still on the ceiling, “How much have you… done. If… you’ve done anything at all. And no, I don’t mean with people, I mean… Ugh.”

Changkyun pulls off Kihyun’s nipple with a little suck _(again, help!)_ , moving himself up to look down at Kihyun. “That’s a lot of words for a ‘quick question’,” Changkyun teases, leans in to kiss at Kihyun’s jaw. “I’ve fingered myself before, Ki...”

Why that makes Kihyun’s face turn into a swollen piece of dynamite, goes beyond his knowledge. But still…

“How much is ‘fingered’,” Kihyun mumbles. “Dicks aren’t exactly finger sized.”

“Is three ‘dick sized’ enough for you?”

“Yep,” Kihyun says quickly, “Yep, _yep_ , go on.”

Changkyun laughs lowly, hot breath against Kihyun’s neck. “Cute…”

“One of us needs to be concerned about your ass.”

“I know my limits,” Changkyun says, kissing down his chest. “But feel free to test them.”

_Oh god._ That is not sexy at all. And Kihyun is not already hard, at all!

“Where have you been all my life?” Kihyun jokes, huffs a breathy laugh. “You and your Omega-3 skin and bubble butt.”

Changkyun laughs as well, rests his forehead against Kihyun’s chest for a second. “You are _obsessed_ with my skin, I swear…” And wiggles himself down a little, sitting between Kihyun’s legs.

“And you blame me?” Kihyun asks, pulling himself up to his elbows as he looks at Changkyun-- _fuck this view_ \-- “I’m starting to think _you’re_ the teddy bear. Not me.”

“I’m fine with that,” Changkyun says, applying pressure to Kihyun’s dick through his underwear. “You’re soft, too. _Well_ \--” Changkyun scoffs. “Not all soft…”

Kihyun rolls his eyes. This is chattiest ‘sex’ ever. And he was tired not even ten minutes ago. “Depends. That’s the beauty of dicks, isn’t it? They’re soft even when they’re hard.”

“Ah, poetry,” Changkyun sighs wistfully, even as he wiggles himself down even further, bending his face down to nuzzle at Kihyun’s dick with his nose. It pulls a little at Kihyun’s stomach. “Did you write that yourself?”

Kihyun holds his breath for a moment, lets himself fall down and then lets the breath go, “Now you’re just… teasing me…”

“I won’t, then,” Changkyun says, pulls Kihyun’s underwear off completely, licking a long, wet stripe up the underside of Kihyun’s dick.

“Great,” Kihyun says a little strained, feels an uncomfortable weight on his lower abdomen for a moment.

It’s… different from yesterday but… still the same; _safe._

Changkyun licks his tongue around Kihyun, before wrapping his lips around the tip and sucking as he lowers himself down, slowly, bopping a little and taking Kihyun in deeper with every suck. Kihyun sighs in relief as the tension eases off for a  moment, reaches out for Changkyun’s head and combs his hair back a little. But then it tugs at his stomach, the thought of what’s happening combined with the feeling of Changkyun’s mouth around him, taking him in like it’s easy, like it’s what he wants to be doing right now and nothing else.

Who would have thought Changkyun could passionately suck dick, but here they are.

Attraction is a funny thing. It’s easy to feel and easy to ignore. But it’s always a magnet. It’s that thought inside one’s head that thinks, ‘there’s something about this’. And people always gravitate towards the extraordinary things that capture their attention. And the longer one is exposed to it, the more one learns about it.

Sometimes, people lose interest and go find something else to be attracted to. But then, sometimes, it blooms into something else. And it’s funny because up until this morning Kihyun hadn’t really thought about it, hadn’t given it a name. But all it took was a kiss.

And now? Now Kihyun feels like he’s being eaten alive, both metaphorically and literally.

He pulls Changkyun up, fingers tight around his hair, and sits up, leans in to kiss him. And there are so many things to love, so many things Kihyun wants to do, to show, but maybe he can do that and maybe Changkyun will get it.

For now, he seems to, moaning softly into Kihyun’s mouth as he pulls Kihyun down on top of him, chests crashing and hips slotting together, and Kihyun can feel how hard Changkyun is when their erections brush against each other.

When Kihyun breaks the kiss to look at Changkyun, his chest fills with this very strange, very _ugh_ feeling. Like the need, whatever it might be, is so strong Kihyun just wants to metaphorically crush Changkyun and meld in some some of energy blob. Like Jeremy.

Which reminds him.

“So, how’s Jeremy,” Kihyun asks, smiles even as he wraps his hand around both their dicks.

Changkyun’s breath leaves him in a little giggle, cheeks pink and eyes unfocused. “I put glitter in him… S’pretty…”

Kihyun runs his lips from Changkyun’s lips to his jaw and nibbles at his earlobe as he strokes them both a little and mumbles, “And you didn’t show me? M’offended.”

“I’ll,” Changkyun says, between heavy breaths, squirming a little under him. “Show you tomorrow…”

“Just tomorrow?” Kihyun asks, presses his thumb on Changkyun’s slit.

Changkyun’s features scrunch up with a little whimper. “When--whenever,” Changkyun pants, voice low and much, much deeper than usual. “ _Ki_ …”

_Jesus, this guy._

Kihyun kisses down Changkyun’s neck, chest and then mouths at a nipple, gives a soft bite at the nub. And then keeps going down, skips over Changkyun’s impressive erection and moves on to kiss at his thigh. And, just in that little swell of inner thigh muscle near Changkyun’s crotch, Kihyun bites and sucks between his teeth until it turns really red.

Changkyun visibly shivers, gripping lightly at Kihyun’s hair. “Feels good…”

Kihyun shivers a little, too, and blindly reaches under the mattress to search for that damn bottle of lube. But again, as he kisses up Changkyun’s thigh and pops the bottle open, he skips over to Changkyun’s navel and licks.

“You _have_ lube?” Changkyun says. “Jesus, there’s an awkward conversation I could have skipped…”

Kihyun pauses, glances up, “Which part of ‘gay’ did you miss…”

Changkyun blinks slowly up at the ceiling. “I couldn’t risk it.”

Again, why that makes Kihyun flush and feel like a volcano about to explode is beyond him.

“Do you…” Changkyun swallows. “Want me to turn around..?”

Kihyun’s brain floods. “Uhm… Are you… Do you want to?”

Changkyun says nothing for a second, and then just slowly sits himself up, flushes a bright red before looking away and turning around, sitting on his haunches before slowly sliding down, lifting his ass until he’s on his knees, face pressed into the pillow.

_Now… this is an image._ And Kihyun’s mouth is very dry. His throat his very dry. Actually, he feels like a dried fish at the moment. But… _butt._

Kihyun rolls his eyes at himself and squeezes some lube onto his fingers. He shifts closer, onto his knees leans in to kiss the little arch on Changkyun’s lower back, gives him a small lick. “You’re… the sexiest guy I’ve…” Kihyun sighs, and Changkyun’s hand fists a little at the sheets next to him. _Words._ “Jesus, Changkyun… I…” The well at the bottom of Kihyun’s stomach drops a little. “I want you so much.”

Changkyun turns his face on the pillow, onto his cheek, and visibly relaxes a little, lips parted and pink. “Then take me…”

It’s a whiplash, the way a bunch of feeling surge forward and get stuck in Kihyun’s throat. Because this is isn’t just different or just better. This is _it_. So, Kihyun kisses Changkyun’s lower back again and then moves his lips to kiss asscheek and give a little bite, one finger slick with lube slowly circling around the rim of Changkyun’s asshole.

Changkyun makes a choked little sound, turns his face back into the pillow and grips at the sheet, pulling them up to himself. “ _Ah_ …”

Kihyun brings his finger down, though, and presses his tongue instead, flat against Changkyun’s asshole before licking into him. Changkyun cries out a little, as if in surprise, before melting against Kihyun, who reaches between Changkyun’s legs with slick fingers to stroke him while leaving sloppy kisses on him.

“Ki-- _Kihyun_ \--Ah, fuck,” Changkyun groans loudly, letting go of the sheet to reach down, grab loosely at Kihyun’s wrist. “You, I need you, _please_ …”

“I know,” Kihyun says, lets go and reaches over Changkyun (frowning a little when his dick brushes near Changkyun’s ass) to reach for the cardkey on the table next to the bed and throw it with a flick at the sensor. When it clicks and the door makes a beep sound, Kihyun sighs.

Changkyun laughs a little under his breath. “Whoops…”

“Thankfully, I don’t miss.” Kihyun says, huffs a laugh that quickly dies within the next breath when he sees Changkyun again, the sweat beading at his hairline, hair sticking to his pink face from the water from the shower.

He leans back and reaches for the lube, drops some more onto his fingers and presses his index finger on Changkyun’s asshole, tip diving in just a little, slowly and then back before going in again. Kihyun had expected, maybe, for Changkyun to tense up at this, but instead he just… melts, lets out a little moan and pushes lightly, back, against Kihyun’s finger with a soft, “ _Yes…_ ”

Kihyun feels a cold shiver run up his spine and then his neck, feels a strange urgency in his lower abdomen that he needs to _address as soon as possible._ But not yet.

He presses his finger further in, barely pulling back before Changkyun sort of sucks him in. And for some reason, Kihyun feels that on his dick instead of his finger. Which means… he’s broken. _Yep. Brain broke._

Working all his way up to three fingers is like torture. Not for Changkyun, he seems to be having a blast, but… Kihyun had no idea Changkyun would be this damn responsive. And it really doesn’t help that when Kihyun finally thinks that it’s enough and that he’s about to lose his goddamn mind, he feels his fingers brush on something that turns Changkyun into a freaking livewire.

“Kihyun!” Changkyun cries out, walls tightening around his fingers as he starts moving his hips against them. “Fuck, I--” And Changkyun shivers, gripping at the sheets as he moans, loud, into the pillow.

“I…” Kihyun starts, swallows. _Almost came and I didn’t do anything, what the fuck was that?!_

Kihyun’s heart is so loud, his face is so warm and there’s this tingling feeling under his skin, all of a sudden. He feels like he’s burning up. And his dick is so painfully hard.

“Do you…” Kihyun tries. “I kind of _need_ to…” _What are words?_

Changkyun’s arms shake a little, but he manages to reach back, slip Kihyun’s fingers out of himself before turning around onto his back, pulling Kihyun in for a deep kiss with his fingers at the back of Kihyun’s neck.

“Fuck me?”

_Oh, thank god._

The quest to search for the damn condoms under the mattress is trying Kihyun’s patience. So, he kisses Changkyun, licks into his mouth while fumbling around for the damn things. He does find them, though, and breaks away to fit the wrapper between his teeth and rip it open before going back into that kiss.

By the time the condom is on and coated with lube, Kihyun breaks the kiss again and pulls Changkyun’s legs over his shoulders, first one and then the other, before leaning in again for a soft press of lips on Changkyun’s forehead.

Changkyun smiles small, soothing his hands down Kihyun’s sides as much as he can.

“Tomorrow…” Kihyun mumbles against Changkyun’s forehead. He has the sweetest scent ever, it’s stupidly intoxicating. “If… If the world is not trying to end again, let’s… Let’s go to the city. Try the food. I promised, remember?”

Changkyun seems to just beam at him, with watery eyes and a small nod. “Okay…”

“Okay,” Kihyun says, smiles a little as he looks Changkyun in the eyes. Okay. And then, Kihyun presses his lips softly on Changkyun’s as he pushes against him, as slowly as he can. And _it’s so damn tight._

Changkyun’s hands shoot up, then, scratches a little at Kihyun’s back as his head falls back, lips parted and eyebrows knitting in a frown. His feet are propped over Kihyun’s shoulders by the time Kihyun lets out a soft groan masked as a breath, Changkyun’s legs pulled back towards his body and Kihyun _completely_ in (and sweating, both of them just… sweating).

“Tell me when I can,” Kihyun says, takes a deep breath and stops a shiver before it spreads through his body as he keeps himself from moving even when it’s all his body wants to do, tight walls pressing in on him.

Changkyun groans deeply and scratches his fingers down Kihyun’s back when he says, “Move...”

Kihyun doesn’t need to be told twice. And he can’t help the way his body seems to falter a little the moment he gets the friction he needs, shoulders tensing just a little with the strength he, then, needs to exert on pure self-control.

Changkyun’s hands grasp at Kihyun’s ass, as he rolls his hips with loud, broken moans. _And_ that self-control really wants to run out the door.

“I…” Kihyun shivers, gasps a little when Changkyun tightens at the sound of his voice.

Each drag is slow and short. But then Kihyun leans forward and takes Changkyun’s mouth, Changkyun’s knees practically to his ears, and it’s impossible to not just pick up a rhythm. Especially not with how Changkyun whimpers against him, nails digging into the skin of his back.

Kihyun presses his forehead against Changkyun’s and frowns, eyes scrunching when a breath leaves him. Because, Changkyun just… just takes him so well. And even though every slap of skin against skin just makes Kihyun want to pick up the pace, he knows it’s not just about him. So, he purposely drags out just a little to thrust into a different, shorter angle.

It’s quite obvious, then, when he finds it.

“Fuck!” Changkyun gasps, arching up, gripping tighter to Kihyun. “Yes! Oh _god_...”

Kihyun groans a little and it takes everything to not just come right there. So, he reaches for Changkyun’s dick in a desperate attempt to make him come, too, because that’s the whole damn point, and strokes him fast and loose near the head.

Changkyun’s _sounds_... It’s like he can’t decide between moaning, whimpering, crying out or just screaming words, anything between Kihyun’s name, slight (if not extreme) blasphemy and enthusiastic affirmation.

“Fa--faster, Ki...”

_Which one?!_ His brain screams.

“Both,” Changkyun adds, then. _Fucking Drift partners._

So, both. _Fast._ And hard because Kihyun has needs, too. It’s almost erratic at some point, because Kihyun is trying to focus on both but his mind keeps drifting towards the way his stomach tugs a little and his lower abdomen feels tight, like he’s about to explode.

But then he looks at Changkyun and a strange static crackles in the air. It makes Kihyun shudder, it makes him _want_ even though he’s already giving and taking so much. It’s that stupid old feeling Kihyun remembers but different, too. Because isn’t it always?

Changkyun arches, mouth open and face red, as he cries out at the same time he tightens around Kihyun, legs shaking and hips stuttering. Changkyun comes between them with a high pitched whimper, and Kihyun just loses himself in the feeling, feels the rope he’d been trying to keep from snapping pull away from his grasp and rides the stars behind his eyelids.

A hand rakes softly through his hair, hips moving slowly, breaths heavy and slow. “So beautiful…”

And once again, it’s like whiplash. Because no one’s called Kihyun beautiful before. No one, except Changkyun. And it’s such a strange feeling, to feel it. To feel that Kihyun _is_ whatever Changkyun says he is.

Kihyun catches Changkyun’s lips and kisses him deep, shudders when everything comes together and then rushes out of him and leaves him out of breath when he comes again. _Again?!_ God...

Changkyun holds him close, then, hand in his hair as they kiss, other hand soft wherever it touches, down Kihyun’s side, over his shoulder. And Kihyun just melts. Because this is not falling in love, this is crashing in love with someone he expected nothing from.

They break the kiss, but Changkyun still peppers small kisses all over Kihyun's face, his neck, down the slope of his shoulder. Kihyun just pulls up a little to slip out of Changkyun and then plops down next to him with a groan.

“I’m dead,” Kihyun says. Knows he needs to get rid of that condom before it gets messy. So, he sits up and does just that, ties it and throws in the the basket with a quiet “Boop” when he scores right in the middle and flops back down, eyes on the ceiling.

“I’m… Something,” Changkyun says, apparently just doing the same thing; lying on his back, staring at the ceiling. “Might… Need to use your shower again…”

“Need help?” Kihyun asks, slowly turning on his side and folding an arm under his head as he looks at Changkyun. _So pretty..._

Changkyun turns to look at him, too, smile soft. “In a bit…”

Kihyun feels his whole face soften. He reaches out to trace Changkyun’s hairline with the tips of his fingers. “You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.” And that’s not a lie, not really.

Changkyun frowns softly, even as it looks like his eyes are about to water. “You’re just… silly and fuck-drunk…”

“Maybe,” Kihyun says, frowns a little and then raises an eyebrow. “‘Fuck-drunk’?”

Changkyun laughs, tries to raise a hand but it just flops back down. “You know! When you’ve just had great sex and suddenly your mouth is a highway for unimpeded thought.”

“Doesn’t make them less true.”

Changkyun looks at him with a small pout. “No one’s ever called me beautiful before…”

“No one’s ever called me beautiful before either,” Kihyun says. He grins, though. “So… ‘Great sex’?”

Changkyun scoffs, even as he flushes. “Er. Obviously? Did you not hear me back there? Jesus, I had no idea…”

“That you were loud?” Kihyun laughs a little, bites at his lower lip. It’s stupid, he knows, the possessive little feeling giving way to stupid thoughts like wishing he could keep this side of Changkyun to himself.

“Well, yes,” Changkyun admits, all red. “And… I think I came like, three times back there…”

Kihyun blinks, a stupid sense of pride washing over him before it’s gone. “Huh…” He blinks again, clears his throat and side-glances at the ceiling. “I… I thought it was really hot, to be honest.”

“What, my loud enthusiasm?”

“It’s nice when people are responsive…” Kihyun mumbles. “Honestly?” He looks at Changkyun, ignores the heat that floods and says, “Wouldn’t mind spending a whole hour on you just to hear your voice…” _Yep, I’m fuck-drunk._

Changkyun’s eyes widen a little, and his mouth seems to flounder around syllables before settling on a soft, “Oh.” And then blushes, turns himself to his side and buries his face in the pillow. “Aaah, if I keep blushing, I’m gonna die!”

Kihyun smiles and his chest fills with warmth. And the more he looks at Changkyun the more he realizes that all this time he’s been saying goodbye to a memory because he was falling in love with someone else. So maybe that’s why everything felt so real when Kihyun got lost in the Drift. Because that was ‘goodbye’, too.

He lets his eyes wander down a little and his throat feels tight. So, he just shifts closer and nuzzles in, nose on Changkyun’s cheek. Kihyun closes his eyes and breathes. He doesn’t even know why he wants to cry. Maybe it’s a post-sex sensitivity thing.

Changkyun, though, just throws an arm over him and says, “I am covered in _me_. Wanna go shower and then cuddle..?”

“Please?” Kihyun breathes.

So Changkyun turns his face from the pillow and catches Kihyun’s lips in a soft kiss before pulling back, confidently saying, “Race you!” and then having his legs collapse the moment he jumps off the bed.

“You mean, crawl. ‘Cause apparently you’re crawling to the bathroom,” Kihyun laughs. He gets up leans down to help Changkyun up as well before leaning into him just a little and throwing him over his shoulder like a bag of potatoes. “Up you go, limp boy.”

“How are you _doing_ this!?”

“Doing what, exactly--Careful with your head.”

“Picking me up like this!” Changkyun wiggles, then just goes limp. “Fucking soldiers…”

“Not fucking soldiers, no. Just you.”

Changkyun laughs, something between a ‘pffff’ and a giggle. “Hey, can I… ask a really weird favour…? Favour doesn’t sound right…”

Kihyun slowly walks to the shower and turns the water on. “What?” He asks, still holding Changkyun up.

“Will you…” Changkyun starts, groans. It’s obvious this is hard for him. “Will you… call me baby, again..?”

Kihyun pauses, feels something tight in his chest. He slowly puts Changkyun down and then takes Changkyun’s face between his hands to press their lips together into a soft, quick kiss. “Yeah, baby… Whatever you want.”

Changkyun’s dimples pop out in a bright smile. “Thanks… I don’t know why, but I really like it.”

“Oh,” Kihyun blinks, smiles and nuzzles in. “Then… baby it is.”

  


 

 

“I want, like,” Changkyun says, dressed all comfortably in a hoodie (just a hoodie; it’s soft, and he likes it, so _deal with it_ ) and his boxers, tossing the pillow up and catching it again. “One of those bouncy balls! You know what I mean, right?”

They showered. And honestly, Changkyun’s legs are jelly, as much as his heart has melted warm and spread all over his body like molten steel. But it’s _nice_. And everything they’ve done has just turned any uncertainty into being very, very sure. This is where he wants to be. Playing with a stupid pillow next to who will probably turn out to be the love of his damn life.

“Gym balls?” Kihyun asks, watches the pillow as Changkyun keeps throwing it up, both arms folded behind his head. “Hm, I think I can get you one.”

“Are those the _biiiig_ ones? That people use as chairs sometimes?”

“Yeah,” Kihyun nods a little. “Dami has one in her room? It’s by the desk. I can ask her… Or you can ask her.”

“Okay!” Changkyun says, throws the pillow up one last time, catches it to put his limbs around it and flop to his side to look at Kihyun. So, so pretty. “Aaaafter we go to the city…? You promised.”

Kihyun looks back and smiles. It’s… different. Not from the usual smiles, but from the ones Changkyun remembers in the beginning. Because these ones are so, so unguarded. And Kihyun’s eyes are soft and tip towards crescents. “Tomorrow. After you’re done? Come find me and we’ll go.”

“Come find me,” Changkyun repeats in a deeper voice, and then giggles. “Sorry, dunno why I did that, just sounded funny…” Changkyun scoots a little closer, watches Kihyun’s smile. He likes this one a lot. With this one, it’s easy to believe that maybe, just maybe, Kihyun’s falling in love, too.

“You’re silly,” Kihyun says and turns on his side, brings one arm around Changkyun’s waist and pulls him closer. “Say… what’s your favourite colour? Apparently, that one didn’t cross over.”

“Huh,” Changkyun says, eyes roaming a little over Kihyun’s face. So many little moles. He pokes at the one on Kihyun’s forehead. “Guess being in my head didn’t help all that much, huh,” Changkyun jokes. “Mm, I don’t know, actually. What my favourite colour is… Haven’t really thought about it…”

“Do you know mine?”

Changkyun narrows his eyes, blinks like he’s trying to think. “Either purple or blue… Yellow? I don’t know,” Changkyun laughs. “I know your favourite food is chicken!”

Kihyun huffs a laugh and when he smiles wider, it’s toothy. “Idiot. And it’s blue. You know that blue Rogue has on her plating? Yeah, that.”

“Huh…” Changkyun says, like he’s deep in thought. Maybe he is. Bit hard to admit it’s about the way Kihyun’s cheek seems to dimple on the apple of it. Changkyun didn’t even know that was a thing faces did, but alas. “Maybe… There’s this really deep purple colour that black gives off, sometimes? Especially metal. It’s somewhere between blue and black and purple. I think that might be it.”

“Like… crows?” Kihyun pouts a little as he thinks, glances up. “Their feathers reflect green, blue and purple. But they’re black.”

“Ooooh! Yes! That!” Changkyun sighs, dramatically. “You just _get_ me, you know,” Changkyun jokes, smiling nonetheless.

Kihyun rolls his eyes and smiles. “Yeah. Can’t imagine why I used to hate your guts. Character development, I say.”

“Yours or mine?”

“If you pin this on me, I am kicking your ass,” Kihyun says but laughs. He pinches at Changkyun’s side. “You were a jerk! You still are sometimes. You really need to work on that.” He pauses, blinks and suddenly he looks troubled. “I’m joking by the way… Don’t… Take it personally.”

Changkyun pouts, looks as ‘hurt’ as he possibly could. “I thought you liked me…”

“What?” Kihyun blinks. “No… Baby, I do like you… I--” Kihyun blinks again. “Like you a lot…”

Changkyun stops pouting, just blinks a little. _Aw, that was so cute_. “I like you, too… Hey, do me a favour and tell me when I’m being an asshole? I really can’t tell sometimes.”

Kihyun snorts. “‘Kay.” He sighs, tangles their legs together and then seems to go a little serious. “Hey… How’s… Yoohyeon? She seemed off earlier.”

Changkyun’s heart is still kind of recovering from this whole ‘I like you’ business, but it bottoms out a little as he sighs. “She’s… Amazing. Really. As a person, as a co-pilot, as a soldier, but… we almost died out there, Ki. She’s… not really been okay since… It’s why I’m so freaking _mad_ at Shownu right now.”

“Let’s… bring her something tomorrow. When we go out?” Kihyun reaches for the hem of Changkyun’s hoodie and soothes his thumb over it. “Let’s bring something nice for her.”

Changkyun’s heart warms and he nuzzles in a little closer. “Think we can find some pretty flowers? She loves flowers…”

Kihyun looks at Changkyun’s face and smiles. “Yeah, of course… And…” He glances away, shrugs one shoulder. “About Hyunwoo. He’s… trying. Would hate to be in his shoes. And again, I did fuck up. And he’s trying to help me, so… He’s a good pilot. A good Ranger. With him out there, y’all stand a better chance. That’s for sure.”

Changkyun grips a little at Kihyun’s shirt. “I know… But… I don’t wanna go out there without you, Ki…”

Kihyun moves his hand under Changkyun’s hoodie, all the way to his back. Changkyun feels warmth spread through his skin when Kihyun starts soothing his thumb up and down. And then Kihyun says, “You won’t.”

“Aish, don’t…” Changkyun shakes a little at him. “Try me with that ‘I’m always with you’ crap, I mean _literally_ out there without you.”

“I know what you meant,” Kihyun mumbles, frowns softly. “And I said you won’t.”

Changkyun frowns, stares, frowns a little harder like that makes the cognitive juices flow. And maybe it does, because--Changkyun’s eyes widen and he gapes a little. “Yoo Kihyun, are you going to _break protocol?_ ”

“What protocol?” Kihyun mumbles. “There’s been water in my ears for days… Can’t hear half the shit people say.”

Changkyun’s chest expands to five times its normal size like some fucking Grinch movie, and he just reaches forward to squeeze Kihyun’s face between his hands and smooch the ever living shit out of him. His cheeks, his lips, all of it. “You--are--the absolute--best!”

Kihyun shrugs, pouts and sighs. “The end of the world scares me a lot more than a dishonorable discharge.”

“I hate that. It’s always sounded like code for a fart.”

“It kinda stinks, yeah,” Kihyun chuckles. “But… You and I are a good team. And… Well, I wouldn’t have suggested it. But… I don’t think Yoohyeon will do well if she goes out there again this soon.”

Changkyun nods a little. “Yeah, I don’t think so either… And honestly? We need good fighters out there if we’re gonna have any chance… I’ve never been a good fighter but… You really are. Good enough for the both of us.”

“Hm…” Kihyun nods, watches Changkyun’s face. “So… yeah. That’s where we’re at. Don’t worry. I’ll be there. As long as Yoohyeon agrees, of course.”

“I think I’m going to sleep much better now,” Changkyun admits under his breath with a smile he can barely feel but knows is there.

“I’m not,” Kihyun pouts. “Because you haven’t showed me Jeremy.”

Changkyun sits up, with a sudden burst of energy and a wide grin. “You wanna see my son?”

Kihyun raises an eyebrow. “Let me guess… He’s your and Jason’s son?”

“I swear, you’re absolutely obsessed with that man,” Changkyun says, crawling on top of Kihyun. It’s part of getting off the bed, really. Kihyun’s just… a really good looking obstacle, is all. Even more of an obstacle when he brings both arms loosely around Changkyun’s waist and looks at him as if asking, ‘what now’.

“Not my fault he’s obsessed with you,” Kihyun says, then.

Changkyun blinks, slow and unimpressed. “You jealous?”

“Yes.”

Changkyun blinks, much faster and seriously dumbfounded. “Oh, I was… joking, are you _really_ jealous of him?” Changkyun narrows his eyes to himself, looks around the room as if for answers. “Why does that make me happy…”

Kihyun raises an eyebrow. “Honestly, I thought you’d be mad… But yeah? I… am.” He shrugs. “Not much I can do about it, I guess.” He shrugs again. “I can’t compete with your girl crushes. I’m not a girl. But…”

“You know,” Changkyun says, feeling awfully encouraged, all of a sudden, leaning down to his elbows, face hovering a little above Kihyun’s. “You could _totally_ compete with the girls. You are very, very pretty.”

Kihyun narrows his eyes. “Im Changkyun…”

“Mhm, that’s me.”

“I can’t believe I’m going to say this but… A penny for your thoughts? What are you on about?”

“Just saying you’d win,” Changkyun shrugs, casually. “I know you’re competitive, so…”

“I feel like I’m being manipulated… into doing something…”

Changkyun gasps lightly. “I would _never_ insinuate you wear a skirt, what are you _talking about_. Besides,” Changkyun says, kissing at the little mole above Kihyun’s lip. “Best sex I’ve ever had. Can’t compete with that.”

Kihyun frowns, narrows his eyes some more. “Good.” He sits up and Changkyun sits up with him. And then Kihyun lightly kisses at Changkyun’s lips and says, “Mine.” Before slapping a little at his thigh. “Come on, hop off. I wanna go see Jeremy, the blob of sparkle.”

“Is it bad that all I hear in my head,” Changkyun says, behind the blush. “Is the seagulls from Finding Nemo going ‘mine mine mine’?”

Kihyun snorts. “Honestly, for a while there it kinda felt like you were a fish and people were just seagulls trying to stake a claim or whatever.”

Changkyun throws both hands up, even as he stands up. “I still don’t know what that was about!”

“Well, you’re pretty, that usually helps.” Kihyun says as he stands up as well.

“So what?” Changkyun asks, hands on his hips before swinging them seductively (well, it’s objective) from side to side. “Are you saying people were only after me for my ‘bodeh’?”

“Your… ‘bodeh’ is gonna be on the floor.”

“Mah bode,” Changkyun giggles. “And hey, that doesn’t sound too bad, actually…”

“Ugh, what have I unleashed…” Kihyun gestures. “Put some pants on, creature.”

“No,” Changkyun says, sticking out his tongue and ducking for the keycard on the floor and unlocking the door.

“You’re not… Going out like that…” Kihyun says, eyes narrowed.

“You’re not my dad,” Changkyun says, presses the button to open the door.

“Please, baby?”

Changkyun pauses, enters a mild staring contest, before sighing and pressing the button again, slumping over to his bag. “This is… extortion…”

“No… It’s just,” Kihyun looks at the ceiling as he talks. Is he blushing? It’s hard to tell but his ears are pink. “You have really nice legs and everyone here wants a piece of meat to nibble on? Something like that.”

“Ah,” Changkyun says, bending down for a pair of sweatpants in his bag, his own ears a soft pink, as well. “So you’re jealous, _and_ possessive… I see, I see…”

“Does it bother you?”

“Nope!” Changkyun grins, steps into his pants. “Because so am I.”

Kihyun snorts. “I’m actually curious, though. What do you have to be jealous about?”

Changkyun narrows his eyes, reaches out to pull Kihyun along by the wrist out the door. “You forget, I’ve been in your head. All those little one night stands. Ring any bells?”

“Hm… then… Maybe next time you should make sure you…” Kihyun trails off. “Because I actually like being on the receiving end, so to speak.”

Changkyun registers the words, individually, slowly lets them sink in as he just… pauses in the hallway. He remembers Kihyun saying something like ‘I’d let you do me’. It should have prepared him for this. It really should have. But still, he has to suppress a small shiver and ignore the way his stomach pulls.

“Oh.” Is his voice always this high pitched? Jesus… He just had his knees up to his ears, what is he so damn shy about all of a sudden?

Kihyun shakes his arm a little and Changkyun’s hand wiggles where it’s holding on to Kihyun’s wrist. “You okay? I… You--I mean, we don’t have to. It’s fine.” He tugs a little at Changkyun’s hand and smiles small. “Let’s go see Jeremy.”

“Yeah,” Changkyun says, in the same high tone, moving his hand down to tease a little at Kihyun’s, as if asking a question. And Kihyun doesn’t really look, just pulls Changkyun along and laces their fingers together as they walk.

Images. So many images.

“You can’t just--” Changkyun says a painful minute later, tries for a teasing tone. “Say something like that and then throw in a ‘oooh we don’t have to’ like it’s not the _only_ thing I can think about right now…”

Kihyun looks at Changkyun and blinks. And then, for whatever reason, goes a little pink and quickly looks away. “Shut up…” _A bit of a delayed reaction..._

“So, I can still think about it?” Changkyun asks, cheeks pink even as he grins at Kihyun (who is suddenly in his head, all pink and breathless and ass and _help_ ).

“You can,” Kihyun mumbles and Changkyun feels a thumb soothing over his own thumb, and suddenly all the warmth isn’t just in his cheeks. “I don’t own your thoughts. So… Hopefully the me in your head is not all that bad.”

Changkyun shivers, with purposeful exaggeration, makes a little ‘hnn’ sound before saying, “Ugh, I bet you’re all _bossy_ …”

Kihyun glances over, face pink even in the dim light, but with a little, soft frown. “Is that bad?”

“It’s _great_.”

“Then I think we’ll have fun.”

Changkyun is… “Fine, I’m fine, thank you,” Changkyun says, nodding and then just laughing. “Is this usually how people talk about sex? I feel like it’s not.”

“It’s not,” Kihyun says and then huffs a laugh. “But it’s not… bad. I think. I’m surprised we’re not arguing about it, actually.”

“People argue about sex?” Changkyun frowns. “What, are we supposed to fist fight over who bottoms? I’m confused.”

“Maybe? I don’t know.” Kihyun shrugs. “People don’t usually talk about sex, though. Not the ones I’ve met. They just… do it and that’s it. Maybe that’s what’s wrong. Dunno.”

“I prefer this, I think,” Changkyun says, eyes on the floor. The lab isn’t much farther to go. “It’s comfortable, I don’t know, I woke up this morning feeling…” Changkyun shrugs and then scoffs. “Like a shrug, I guess…”

Kihyun makes a face. “A… shrug?”

“Unsure. Non-committal.” Changkyun frowns. Weird word to use. “I don’t know.”

“Is that what you want?” Kihyun asks and it sounds careful. “I…” He clears his throat. “Wouldn’t blame you. And it’s fine. Really… Don’t stress it.”

Changkyun blinks at the door, frowns and puts in his passcode before pulling Kihyun in and closing the door. “Sorry, what now?”

Kihyun rolls his eyes. “I’m asking if…” He blinks at something over Changkyun’s shoulder. “I don’t know what I’m asking. But if… Non-committal is what you want? I…”

Changkyun frowns harder, eyes on Kihyun’s face. “What the hell makes you think that’s what I want?”

“I don’t think that it’s what you want,” Kihyun grumbles. “I’m asking because I don’t know!” He looks around the lab. “Like… if it’s a ‘what happens in that room stays in that room’ thing or… I don’t know. I know we’ve said _things_ but…”

“Ugh!” Changkyun says, lets go of Kihyun’s hand to grab at his face and kisses Kihyun in a way he _very_ much wants. “Sometimes,” Changkyun says, leaning away. “I am _amazed_ at how little you know me.”

“Just because I Drift with you doesn’t mean I’m all seeing,” Kihyun mumbles, eyes on Changkyun’s lips. “Besides…” He glances up. “Just because I look like I know what I’m doing all the time, doesn’t mean it applies to everything in my life. So, yeah, asshole, sorry for being a little insecure.” He pushes Changkyun away just a little. “Now show me that blob of sparkle, please.”

“Your priorities astonish me,” Changkyun scoffs, turning around to find the lamp switch and take the dust-covering off of the glass bowl Jeremy now calls home. _Insecure_. Huh. “Ta-dah!” Changkyun says, though, motions widely at the glass bowl and the sparkly, glittery blob of water inside it, all the way to the top, like gravity doesn’t exist.

Kihyun blinks and the frown goes away as he steps closer, eyes shiny on the bowl. “He looks like a disco ball, what the fuck… That’s so cool…” Kihyun pokes the bowl and Jeremy wobbles.

Changkyun smiles, slowly moving backwards. “I’m glad you like him…” he says, feels for a drawer behind him. Where did he put that damn thing...

Kihyun crouches, arms and chin on the table as he keeps poking the bowl and smiling small as he watches Jeremy wiggle and wiggle like a jelly.

“I love when you look like that,” Changkyun says before he can catch himself. “Like the stars live in your eyes.”

Kihyun doesn’t glance over but tilts his head just a little. “Hm?”

“You,” Changkyun says, even as he turns around, finds the small hertz prototype Jason had discarded; it was strong enough for Jeremy, not really for much else; and a snowglobe that took quite a while to get in hand, a favour or two. “I don’t know, sometimes the light just catches your eyes and they just…” Changkyun clears his throat, carefully turns the top of the snowglobe until the top and bottom disconnect. “Ignore me…”

And Kihyun does ignore him, keeps looking at Jeremy like it’s the best thing he’s ever seen. “Where did you get the glitter?”

“Where do you think?” Changkyun asks, turning the bottom of the globe upside down and carefully glueing the hertz prototype to the bottom. It’s small and flat, like a circuit board.

“Hm,” Kihyun hums. “Dunno? Wait. Was it Minhyuk’s?”

Changkyun gasps. “Whaaat, how did you know?”

Kihyun laughs a little. His face looks so soft. “I saw him a while ago, he had his hands covered in blue and glitter. I didn’t ask, though. Thought best not to ask.”

“There are indeed some things you just don’t wanna know,” Changkyun says, turns around with the prototype secured and the glass globe in his hand. He smiles at Kihyun, asks, “Wanna make a Jeremy baby?”

Kihyun frowns and looks over. “What?”

Changkyun scoffs, walks closer. “Lift up the bowl?”

Kihyun blinks and then looks at the bowl before carefully lifting it up with both hands. “Don’t kill him…”

_Cute_.

“I won’t,” Changkyun promises, carefully reaches in with the glass globe and scoops at the blob, about half of it, and carefully takes it out, screws the bottom of the snowglobe back on. He lifts it up, turns on the hertz prototype, and as Jeremy Junior starts wiggling around in the snowglobe, he holds it out for Kihyun.

Kihyun’s eyes go a little wide but soft as he watches the little ball wiggle around inside the snowglobe. He’s quite literally gaping but it’s so, so soft. “It’s… small… Why is it dancing so much?”

_My heart isn’t going to last much longer…_ “A low sound frequency,” Changkyun smiles. “It’s what we’re using to confuse the Kaiju. Also makes Jeremy and Jeremy Junior dance. It’s… yours, by the way.”

“Eh?” Kihyun blinks and stares at Changkyun, points to himself. “Mine?”

Changkyun can’t help the smile on his face. “Yours. This and… me.”

Kihyun’s shoulders slump a little and his eyes go between the snowglobe and Changkyun’s face. “Oh…” He blinks again and takes Jeremy Junior between his hands, holds it down and smiles a little. “Thanks…” And when he looks up, he leans in and kisses Changkyun’s lips, leans back just enough to say, “Thank you, baby.”

Changkyun feels the last little piece of his heart make its way into Kihyun’s hands.

_I’m gonna save the world for you, Kihyunnie_.


	14. Alone Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “With you it’s like we’re alone together. It’s nice.”
> 
> “Alone together,” Changkyun smiles, bumps his forehead against Kihyun’s shoulder. “I like that.”

 

Changkyun is… frustrated. Really,  _ really  _ frustrated. It’s so  _ fucking  _ hard to work with theory alone, and all the theory he has for what he’s working with is completely upside down. 

He groans lowly, head sinking down until his forehead touches the cold, cold metal table, and he almost sighs in relief.

Waking up this morning? Fantastic. Best part of his damn life. He just wishes he woke up  _ before  _ Kihyun, at least half the time, so he could look at his face when he sleeps because shit, he’s adorable. And Changkyun would like to kiss his face until he wakes up. 

But honestly? The other way around is pretty damn good, too.

“Wanna go bed,” he grumbles to no one, lifts his forehead a little and lets it fall down again. “Sleep, want, ugh...”

After another self-reflective moment of self-pity, he just raises his head again, lets out a long breath and puts his glasses back on to just… Keep trying. Nothing else to it, really. 

His pager beeps, though, vibrates and makes the table vibrate with it; ‘M: COME QUICKLY’.

There’s… a joke there, somewhere...

Instead of making said joke, Changkyun just plops off his chair, onto his feet and lets them lead him to Minhyuk’s lab. He just waves around in front of the scanner, hopes the door is unlocked (it is), and walks in.

“Sup,” Changkyun says, eyes roaming for the closest chair. He finds, instead, Jooheon and Kihyun (wearing that very unfair tank-top of his) already there.

_ Kihyun > chair.  _

So Changkyun wanders over, tugs lightly at Kihyun’s finger. 

“I want sit.” 

And Kihyun just blinks at him and pats over one of his legs for Changkyun before looking back at the screen where he had his eyes glued on just seconds ago. Changkyun just sits down on Kihyun’s lap, makes himself comfortable and looks at the screen, too.

“Well, okay, moving on from…  _ that,” _ Minhyuk says, clearing his throat. 

Jooheon glances at Changkyun and then away. And then looks again like his brain took some time registering what he saw in the first place. “Uhm…” Jooheon coughs, looks at the screen again. “Right, so… apparently the U.N. General is being investigated. They won’t say why or what triggered the investigation but it’s got something to do with money laundry.”

“They probably planted shit on him,” Kihyun mumbles and Changkyun feels a hand near his waist before Kihyun has his whole arm around Changkyun and absently starts playing with the buttons on Changkyun’s lab coat. “Just to start an investigation. If they dig deep enough, they’ll find what we found… Not bad, Hyunwoo. Not bad.”

“Maybe he does know what he’s doing, after all,” Changkyun jokes softly, leaning his cheek against Kihyun’s hair. 

Kihyun makes the leg Changkyun is sitting on jump a little and Changkyun jumps with it, frowns in discontentment. “Tired much?” Kihyun asks, turning his face to Changkyun and kissing his jaw.

Jooheon blinks really fast at the screen but says nothing. Minhyuk, however;

“Honey, pay up.”

Jooheon grumbles something to himself and slowly reaches into his pocket, brings out a few coins and drops them into Minhyuk’s hand. “Tsh.”

“What was the bet?” Changkyun asks, nuzzling in and closing his eyes for a minute. It’s too dangerous to keep them closed, though. And Kihyun is too damn warm and smells too damn nice for Changkyun’s tired brain.

“Can Captain Yoo be affectionate,” Minhyuk says like he’s reading a newspaper headline.

“Rude,” Changkyun says, turns his face to yawn a little before smacking his lips, shaking his head and looking back. “Tell me more about the--the guy.”

Kihyun frowns a little, looks at Changkyun’s face. “You look like shit…”

“Rude-er!” Changkyun says, pouts with a frown.

“Do you have much to do?” Kihyun tilts his head. “I was gonna take you out but if you’re busy we can do that some other day.”

“I have exhausted every theory I have, I’d love to go outside, to be honest… And get coffee…”

Jooheon is looking at the two of them like he’s never seen them before. “So, uhm… Are the two of you… dating or are you just… you know…  _ friends.” _

“With benefits, ‘cause you’re clearly fucking.” Minhyuk adds.

Changkyun frowns, shakes Kihyun lightly. “Throw ‘em with somethin’...”

“Hm,” Kihyun doesn’t seem very concerned but then he grins at Minhyuk, “That’s right, pay up, you shit.”

Minhyuk gapes. “No!”

“Yep.”

“No!” Minhyuk says again even as he reaches for the money. “I really thought I had him pegged for--”

“Shut up and pay.”

Jooheon seems to go a little red. “Told you, Min. Told you.”

Changkyun giggles. “Pegged…”

The news on the screen changes from the charges being held against the General-Secretary to a few riots in the city of San Francisco concerning the latest Kaiju attacks. All of them seem to go suddenly quiet. And then Minhyuk turns it off and stretches.

“Well, I guess we did a good job then. Me of course,” he laughs. “It was mostly me.”

Kihyun facepalms but laughs a little. “Of course…”

Changkyun is still blinking around at them. Christ, he needs coffee. “I can be the other thing too!” he defends, way belatedly. “Whatever it is!”

Riots… Shit. Why does everything feel so damn heavy...

“No, you can’t,” Kihyun says, makes Changkyun jump a little again and smiles softly at him. That, at least, feels light. “D’you need to go back to the lab?”

“Can you two not discuss your future hook ups right in front of my damn salad?”

“What hookups,” Kihyun asks absently even as he strips Changkyun of his lab coat.

Jooheon screeches. “It’s starting already!”

Changkyun giggles a little, again. Yeah, okay, maybe he just is what he is, and that’s okay, too. Don’t need to prove anything to anyone when it makes you happy. “Nooope, all yours.”

Jooheon gets up very suddenly. “I’m! The Bridge! Things to do! Bye!” And rushes out of there before Changkyun thinks of anything else.

Kihyun blinks at the lab doors, though. “The Bridge is left.”

“Yep,” Minhyuk says with a smile.

“Jooheon turned right.”

“Yeeeep.”

Changkyun scoffs lightly, stops himself from closing his eyes again, blinks at Minhyuk with heavy eyelids. “Your boyfriend’s a prude,” he jokes.

Minhyuk grins, shrugs. “He’s not. He’s just a shy little thing.”

Changkyun bumps at Kihyun’s shoulder with his forehead. “What was the bet?” he asks with a pout. “Tell meeeee.”

Kihyun blinks slowly for a moment and then narrows his eyes, “That you’re… loud.” And then, as if in secret, adds in a whisper close to Changkyun’s ear, “Although, you still went over what I had expected.”

Changkyun giggles, kisses his cheek. “Yep, definitely can’t be the other thing.”

Kihyun taps at Changkyun’s leg. “Come on, let’s go before you fall asleep on me.”

“Mmm, sounds nice…” Changkyun hums, nuzzles. “S’warm…”

Minhyuk sighs. “Son of a bitch…”

  
  
  
  


 

It’s cold. Really, really cold. It slaps Changkyun right out of his daze and he’s thankful for the big-ass cup of coffee Kihyun deposits between his hands on their way out. 

It takes Changkyun the whole walk to the city to realize that, yes, the year is about to change. Changkyun has been so busy he completely forgot that 2029 is almost over. He realizes, as he looks around and his brain processes everything in a slower motion, that people, human beings, for all their flaws, can be kind of amazing.

Busan is a lively city. Even in the midst of neon lights that shine from every which direction, there are food stalls everywhere, the streets smell like food and the vendors give away so many free samples that Changkyun could fill up his stomach just by accepting every bit of food. One street, one meal.

And that’s what’s amazing, isn’t it? Because there are Kaiju walking out of the sea every other day and people just keep going. Because the world is ending and they don’t know. Because they think they’re going to win, again, because they think they’re going to  _ cancel the apocalypse _ again. And yet Busan could be the next city needing an evacuation. Busan could be next, these people know it, and yet here they are, living their best lives, kids running up and down the street playing catch--playing evil Kaiju and hero Jaeger.

One of the children, the youngest, apparently, bumps against Kihyun when she tries to make a u-turn to catch her friend. She looks up at him, eyes a little wide, and Kihyun smiles like she’s peace itself.

“Careful, beautiful,” he says, pokes her nose and steps aside just enough to let her run down the street. She stops, though, looks back and waves. And Kihyun waves, too, before turning to keep walking up.

It’s almost unbearably cute.

“You’re… Good with kids?” Changkyun asks, wonders why he cares.

Kihyun blinks at him. “Ah… I guess? I like kids,” Kihyun smiles and looks down. “Takashi had a little sister. I’d babysit her a lot because he had no patience. She liked when I,” he brings his hands up and fists them on top of his head, “Made buns on her head. Like donuts.”

Changkyun’s heart does a  _ lot _ . Like, a lot. He needs to actually pay attention not to pout and make his eyes go all big and shiny. He reaches out, though, to take Kihyun’s hand and lean into his side. “That’s… really cute...  Seriously, I’m feeling all delicate now…”

Kihyun laughs a little and turns his face to rub his nose on Changkyun’s hair. “You’re stupid.”

“And you’re perfect,” Changkyun mumbles. 

“And you’re broken if you think I’m perfect,” Kihyun snorts, kisses the top of Changkyun’s head.

“Maybe. Broken pieces can fit together, too.”

“Like little puzzles.”

Changkyun squeezes Kihyun's hand and looks around. The lights all reflect on a little bit of water still on the ground from light rain. “It’s really pretty here…” Changkyun turns his face to smile at Kihyun. “So. Where are you taking me?”

“There,” Kihyun says, points at one of the stalls. “They have all kinds of Hot Bar. My favourite is the gimmari one.”

“Then let’s try that one!” Changkyun says, pulls Kihyun along and smiles wide at the lady behind the stall, bows his head. Another person he doesn’t know, another person who smiles back like the world isn’t ending, another person Changkyun needs to save. “Which one is the gimmari?” Changkyun asks, looking at Kihyun.

“That one,” he mumbles and then points, looks at the vendor, “Two of those, please. And two colas.”

Changkyun takes his gimmari and cola, bows again and gives Kihyun a loud kiss on the cheek. “Thank you!”

“You’re welcome,” Kihyun says as he looks around, “Come on, there’s something I want to show you.” He takes a sip of his cola and glances at Changkyun, tilts his head so Changkyun will follow, and he does, nibbling at the gimmari.

They walk all the way up the street. Kihyun buys some shaved ice cream that he shares with Changkyun, and a little pendant in the shape of a flower for Yoohyeon. And then, after turning a corner, Changkyun realizes they’ve reached a viewpoint.

It’s not natural in origin, it’s manmade. Rises tall above a few buildings by the corner of the city. And Changkyun can see the Shatterdome from all the way here, on the other side of the bay, near the beach.

The sea splashes against the base of the viewpoint and the sky has a strange dark tone to it, the clouds seem to be threatening with more rain with how heavy and dark grey they seem even in the twilight.

“I used to come here a lot,” Kihyun says, “In the beginning. When I transferred here.” 

Changkyun looks over, and Kihyun’s hair rustles a little with the wind. “To think?”

“To be alone, mostly,” Kihyun laughs a little, looks at the horizon, “The Dome is great. But there’s always someone sniffing your ass, looking for favors. Alone time is… Well, you should know by now.”

Changkyun scoffs. “Yeeeeeah. I swear, going from being alone for years to being surrounded by people the whole time…” Changkyun just shivers, takes a sip of his coke. 

“I know,” Kihyun sighs. “Not with you, though. With you it’s like we’re alone together. It’s nice.”

“Alone together,” Changkyun smiles, bumps his forehead against Kihyun’s shoulder. “I like that. It’s better, too. I used to just… Isolate myself and then I’d just overthink and everything would seem so bleak and blegh,” Changkyun sticks out his tongue to emphasize. “Meanwhile with you I just, bleh,” Changkyun imitates a small explosion by his stomach. “Spill my guts the whole damn time.”

Kihyun looks at Changkyun and smiles soft, leans in to kiss his cheek. “Your eloquence astonishes me, really,” he laughs.

“And then he  _ mocks  _ me,” Changkyun jokes with a small sigh. 

Kihyun sticks the tip of his tongue out ( _ pink pink pink pink pink… _ ) and then looks down at Changkyun’s neck, reaches for the bit of silver peeking out of the collar of Changkyun’s sweater and pulls the dog tags out. Kihyun looks at them for a moment and then circles the silver chain around to open it. 

Changkyun’s heart jumps a little and he puts a hand up, grabs at the dog tag with Kihyun’s name on it. Kihyun looks up and smiles small, lets the chain hang and the other tag slip down into his hand before he closes it again around Changkyun’s neck.

“Takashi’s,” Changkyun says under his breath, looking down at the dog tag in his hand before back to Kihyun. “Why..?”

Kihyun flips Takashi’s dog tag in his hand and catches it again, runs a thumb over the engraved letters and takes a breath while he stares at it. “I never asked for it… It was given to me and… I held onto it like a reminder, I guess. Sentimentality aside, I think this is what’s been holding me back all this time.”

Changkyun knows Kihyun well enough to know that this is… big. Like a leap forward instead of a step. It’s been seven years, and it’s impossible to ignore that Kihyun is doing this  _ now _ , not before, not waiting for the world to be saved in homage. Now.

“From what?” Changkyun asks, voice small. Maybe Kihyun has had a lot of time to process his grief, how much it hurts. But Changkyun was only exposed to it weeks ago, and thinking about it, still pulls at his heart a little. 

“From getting better,” Kihyun mumbles, “From being better. And from doing better.”

“Are you?” Changkyun asks, leaning his cheek against Kihyun’s shoulder, a silent ‘I’m here’. “Better, I mean… You smile more…”

“I think so,” Kihyun smiles small, takes a step towards the railing. “At least now I remember how it feels. So…” He looks at the tag and then looks up, brings it up to his lips for a moment, takes a small step back, aims at the distance and swings his arm.

The silver plate glints as it flies away, first up and far and then down into the water. And when Changkyun looks at Kihyun, Kihyun is biting at his lower lip, eyes cast down. Changkyun doesn’t say anything, just reaches over to squeeze Kihyun’s hand, eyes on the ocean, like he can still see that little spot where the tag sunk into the water. 

After a while, he asks, though, “Are you okay? It’s okay if you’re not...”

Kihyun nods small, “Yeah… I’m okay.” He squeezes at Changkyun’s hand a little. “We… We’d had a falling out, you see. And we were trying to fix it. Deep down, though, I knew there was nothing to fix. But… then that happened and I felt guilty. So, when his mother gave me the dog tag it just… I kinda drowned, I think.” Kihyun shrugs a little. “He wouldn’t have died if we hadn’t decided to go out that day. It was my idea. Because I was desperately clinging to the idea that I had to fix it when it wasn’t broken at all… We just… Didn’t piece together anymore. And that’s fine. But I didn’t know then that it was fine to just… drift apart.”

Changkyun stares at Kihyun’s hand, thumb smoothing over the back of it. Changkyun feels like he can prove, again, that Drifting isn’t everything. Because Changkyun didn’t  _ know  _ this. He’d assumed, from the memories, from how happy Kihyun was back then versus how Kihyun was when they met, that Kihyun really, really loved Takashi. Why else would he become a Ranger, face off death and get lost in the particular memory?

_ Guilt _ . It’s terribly uncomplicated.

“Well,” Changkyun says, clearing his throat a little (he’s emotional, probably more than he should be because it’s Kihyun's emotions laid bare for him to see). “I… Don’t really know what to say, but… It’s okay to put yourself first, you know? Like you said, funerals are for the living…”

“Yeah,” Kihyun breathes. He looks at Changkyun and smiles with a face that feels more reassuring than it should. “That’s why I want to help you save the world,” Kihyun says, pulls Changkyun with him to sit by the small bench in the corner.

Changkyun scoffs softly. “At this point, that’s something between punching Kaijus and bringing me coffee while my brain slowly gets assaulted by numbers…”

Kihyun smiles wider, turns to Changkyun where they sit and runs fingers through his hair to pull it back, away from his eyes. “Whatever you need. You’re smart, you’ll figure something out. And if you don’t, someone else will. Because… it’s what we gotta do.”

Changkyun pouts a little at Kihyun. “Just wish we had more time, is all…”

“We’ll make time,” Kihyun says, frowns. “If this thing is threatening to break through space and time then we’ll just make more time.”

Changkyun scoffs lightly again, puts his cheek back on Kihyun’s shoulder and--

And--

“Holy shit,” Changkyun says, mind racing as he sits up, eyes wide on Kihyun. “Holy shit!”

“What?” Kihyun blinks.

“You! You’re fucking  _ brilliant! _ ” Changkyun says, squeezing Kihyun’s cheeks a little and kissing hard and quick at his lips before scrambling. “I got it! We need to go back to the Shatterdome!”

Kihyun blinks some more, eyes wide. “O--Okay…?”

He wouldn’t have been able to do this when he first showed up in the Shatterdome, with his spaghetti arms, but now, he just hooks his arms in under Kihyun’s and pulls Kihyun up to his feet. “It’s a fucking traversable wormhole!”

“Is… Is this a metaphor for ass? I’m confused…”

Changkyun laughs, suddenly giddy. “No! Well, yes? But no! Look,” Changkyun says, turning Kihyun around with his hands on Kihyun’s shoulders, smiling wide. “If it’s traversable it  _ means  _ the two points are separate spaces, completely separate spaces, and  _ time  _ is connected to gravity so if you can--Shit, if you can increase the gravity to be higher than the other entrance, it would  _ fold  _ and it would make the one end younger than the other!”

Kihyun narrows his eyes, clearly confused, “I’m so glad one of us understands what you just said…”

Changkyun just laughs, leans in for another quick kiss. He can’t help it! “We can turn the original wormhole into a time loop!”

“A time loop…” Kihyun mumbles and frowns. “Wait… A loop means a repetition. Right?”

Changkyun’s shoulders slump a little. “Yeah. Thing is, I’m gonna need you to believe in me for this one because I think… It’s going to create a bootstrap paradox. By sending that much energy through, it will  _ create  _ the original breach, the one from the dinosaurs, the one that lead the Precursors here in the first place… It doesn’t sound that great on paper, really.”

Kihyun’s face goes unreadable for a moment, “An infinite cause-effect loop without a discernible point of origin…” He tsks. “Shit, that’s… Wait… Wai--Wait.” He starts counting with his fingers. “Does that mean we’re already in a loop?”

“Technically, yes? It’s like,” Changkyun waves his hand around. “If you went back in time with the original Dorian Gray book and gave it to Oscar Wilde before he wrote it… And then he doesn’t ever need to write it so then, who wrote it, you know?”

Kihyun makes a face and looks up. “Why does my brain feel like it’s going to implode… Oh god…” He shakes his head and his hands like he’s denying the whole thing and then goes serious. “Whatever,  _ you  _ do that. I’ll punch Kaiju in the face.” He nods. “Yep. I can do that. Easy to process. Easy to do.”

Changkyun laughs, “You punch the Kaiju, and I will, apparently, punch a hole in the world. No biggie.”

Kihyun looks down, frowning hard and then glances up. “You’re  _ sure _ about this, right?”

Changkyun takes a deep breath, runs it all through his head. “We can’t close it… Seems like the best idea. And honestly? If the breach is open? Which, obviously, it is, means that… I kind of already did it? Yikes.”

Kihyun sighs, scratches at his forehead. “I’m… so fucking confused. But… Whatever. You’re the brains here. Come on,” he takes Changkyun’s hand. “You have a General and a Marshal to convince.”

“Ugh,” Changkyun groans, bends down to pick up the still unfinished coke before chugging it down. “Don’t remind me…”

  
  


 

 

“So!” Minhyuk exclaims, aggressively pulls down the rolled up map, stuck to the ceiling of the lab, and points at the Pacific Ocean. “This is where I need your eyes.” He says, looks between the General and the Marshall, skips over the Rangers in the corner. “Everything we send into the Breach needs to be Kaiju coded. It reads Kaiju DNA. Which is why everything else bounces back.”

Jason clears his throat. “By charging enough Palladium into an already strong magnetic surface, probably near an active tectonic plate, we can open a Breach, stabilize it by concentrating the exotic particles all in one place since they’re attracted to our Earth’s magnetism around the Pacific.” He looks at Changkyun and nods. “But we can’t just collapse the other side of the Breach. It would just close it and then another would open. Because the problem remains. Our universes are still melding, ours and their Antiverse, no matter how many Breaches we close.”

“Which is exactly why the Breach didn’t close properly last time, back in 2025, when Operation Pitfall sent Gipsy Danger through it and detonated her Nuclear Reactor,” Changkyun says, hands in the pockets of his lab coat. He glances at Kihyun and takes them out, clears his throat. “There’s no closing the Breach, but with the theory I’ve developed--and yes, all the math checks out--we can loop it. As in nothing will come out anymore, no exotic mass, no Kaijus, nothing. In time, entropy might wear it down and it’ll collapse on its own without the possibility of more breaches popping up.”

The Marshall frowns. His voice is always so sharp when he speaks. “Go on.”

“This, unfortunately, though,” Changkyun says, glancing over at Jason. “Is where it gets complicated.”

“It’s a paradox,” Jason says, because Changkyun asked him, too. Layman isn’t really a language Changkyun speaks fluently. “Not the normal paradox you’ve probably seen in movies, where you go back in time, kill your granddad, but then you would never have been born to kill your granddad, aaaand therefore your granddad never died and therefore you could travel back in time to kill him--”

“Go straight to the point,” the Marshal orders. “Time is of the essence.”

Changkyun scoffs. “Yeah, exactly. Alright, the basis of the thing is that I will technically be opening the Breach. Seven years ago. And the one far before that. Technically. But also not. Because it’s already open.” Changkyun opens his hands, waves it slowly in front of him. “Paradox. Infinite time loop without any origin.”

The Marshal looks at the General and the General shrugs. “So, you’re saying…” The Marshal starts, looks at Changkyun. “That this will open the original Breach in 2013?”

“No. The original,  _ original _ breach during the Triassic era.”

“The Breach that lead these aliens to discovering our world in the first place and then try to conquer it with their own Breach in 2013,” Kihyun says, shifts uncomfortably next to Hoseok who keeps blinking like he’s missing the whole damn point.

“Er, yeah. That one,” Changkyun pushes his glasses up. “But it’s  _ already  _ open, so. That means I already did it. Again,  _ technically _ … No causal point of origin, but it’s a good bet.”

The Marshal frowns some more. He looks like a really aggressive man, for some reason. But Changkyun has never really seen him be aggressive. Ruthless? Maybe. But that’s all. “We’re talking about time paradoxes and time travel here? Correct me if I’m wrong.” He looks between Changkyun and the other scientists. “You’re telling me we’re stuck in a loop we already created?”

_ Not really, but.  _ Changkyun shrugs. “Sending the mass through to create the gravitational disruption needed for the time loop is enough to excite a weakness in space time and open the Breach that is actually sending all of this stuff back.”

“The more they talk the more confused I feel,” Hyungwon mumbles from the back.

Kihyun sighs. “Basically, it means that the only way to stop this is to divert it somewhere else. It will send all the energy back to the damn dinosaurs’ age, consequently open a Breach that leads the Precursors here. Except they can't stay because our atmosphere is not compatible with theirs. Too pure back then. And in 2013, they finally return--”

The Marshal pinches thumb to index finger. “Speak human; Will this work? Will it stop the Kaiju?”

“It already has,” Changkyun says. “The Breach is proof that my plan works, and, therefore, we stop the Kaiju.”

“That translates into ‘yes, sir, it will work’,” Kihyun says and the Marshal looks at him.

Shownu sighs, “We can’t act on our own, Marshal. We’re independent, but not that much.”

“I know, General,” the Marshal says, looks at Changkyun. “Write a report with what you need and what needs to be done.” And then looks at Shownu. “Leave the Leader Board to me.” And with that he turns to walk away, with a few salutes from the Rangers and one from the General himself.

Changkyun lets out a small breath, picks up the collar of his lab coat to fan himself with it. “How’d I do?”

“Great?” Jason asks, shrugs.

Shownu turns to walk out as well, followed by the Rangers that were present in the room. Only Kihyun stays behind, still dressed in his casual clothes from earlier. Changkyun is actually starting to  _ miss  _ that military outfit. 

“You don’t sound very sure,” Changkyun teases lightly, keeps fanning at himself with his coat.

Kihyun leans away from the wall, arms crossed as he looks at the papers full of equations over the desks. “The Marshal just told you to write a report on what you need and what you need us, the military, to do for you. That stands for ‘your opinion is law’.”

Changkyun points at Kihyun, looking at Jason. “See! That’s how you answer ‘how did you do’?” Changkyun plops down, though, pulls his laptop closer. “Unfortunately, now I have to do the worst part of my job.” He looks at Kihyun, eyes narrowed and saying the word, “ _ Reports _ ,” in a low, disdainful hiss like he’s saying ‘Voldemort’.

Kihyun smiles a little, eyes still on the papers and Jason looks between him and Changkyun, points behind him and says, “I’ll… start with the magnetic calculations. Page me if you need me, Changkyun.”

“Will do,” Changkyun sing-songs, eyes on the screen. “Thanks, Jace.”

“It’s Jason.”

Changkyun slumps a little, smiles sheepishly and keeps his eyes on the screen as he sees Jason leave the room. He glances up at Kihyun. “Well… He definitely doesn’t like me anymore…”

“He does,” Kihyun scoffs, turns a paper around as if he’s trying to understand what the fuck goes on in there, “He’s just acting tough because I’m here.”

Changkyun grumbles, typing as he speaks, “I don’t like it… Makes me feel bad.”

“Page him and say ‘Jace’,” Kihyun says. “See where that gets you. Sometimes people try to push other people away because they’re afraid of being pushed away first. So bother him, maybe it’ll work… Oh, look! Found pi.”

Changkyun scoffs. “I swear, I need to teach you about pi… Seems to be the only mathematical thing you have any interest in…”

Kihyun looks up and walks closer, sits up on Changkyun’s table and picks up Changkyun’s pager, types on it. “Sure. Once this is all over. Teach me about pi.”

“Right.” Changkyun blinks at him, tries to lean over. “What are you doing..?”

The pager buzzes suddenly and Kihyun smiles a little, turns it around for Changkyun. “See?”

‘J: OKAY JACE IS FINE’

“Aw,” Changkyun says, pouting and batting his eyelashes at Kihyun. “Look at you. Mending relationships.”

“Because you’re busy right now,” Kihyun says, turns the pager around to type some more, “And I said I’d help you.” He raises an eyebrow when the pager buzzes again and turns it to Changkyun.

‘J: FOUND STAR SHAPED GLITTER’

Changkyun laughs, shakes his head and turns back to the laptop. At least he types fast. “Ah, truly the best co-worker a boy can ask for.”

“I’m gonna go get coffee,” Kihyun says, puts the pager back and jumps from the table. “Do you want some?”

“Coffee or…?” Changkyun teases.

“Coffee,” Kihyun says without blinking.

“Yes,” Changkyun says, sticks out his tongue. “And if I’m halfway done, can I get a kiss? For morale,  _ obviously _ .”

Kihyun blinks slowly at the door. “If… By the time you’re halfway done you’re also alone, I’ll give you a reward.”

Changkyun looks at Kihyun, looks at his laptop, back to Kihyun, back to the laptop, and starts typing furiously. “On it!”

“Great, I’m going to get coffee.” Kihyun says as he walks away. 

Changkyun smiles a little to himself, though. It’s different working now. It doesn’t feel as much like screaming at a wall and hoping for a response. There’s not just some vague goal, there’s an  _ actual  _ goal, a goal that really might end up saving the damn world. It feels too  _ big  _ for Changkyun to process, really, that the report he’s working on right now is a small step towards that. 

This, though, also means a lot of things. It means that, yes, they  _ are  _ stuck in a loop, and everything that’s happening has technically already happened, and always will. Something as small as Changkyun refusing to come down to Busan in the first place; something as small as sitting on that outlook with Kihyun and having him say all those things that lead Changkyun to developing this theory in the first place.

But it’s too big to think of things like that. So he just writes his report, and waits for his coffee, and tries not to think about the things that are to happen and the things that already have. Because in the end, he only has the now.

  
  
  
  
  


Changkyun works all night and then all morning. And when Kihyun finally manages to drag him to bed after lunch, Changkyun falls asleep in less than five seconds. He sleeps until dinner call and is so glad Kihyun is there, by the desk, cleaning his handgun when Changkyun opens his eyes.

At dinner, Yoohyeon and Kihyun agree to train together. And when Changkyun leaves to the lab again, part of him feels--believes that things are finally starting to click together. Slowly, things fix themselves, given time and effort.

Two days later, Rogue Fox is ready to go back into the action. But Hwasa still says she’d like to install a new component before they test it out. Tempest is still stripped to the core, joints being replaced, new wires being connected. And, three days later, the War Clock is reset again.

The warning comes at five in the morning. Changkyun had just gotten to bed, Yoohyeon sleeping peacefully in the top bunk. But the alarm sounds and the peace is gone, the grim reminder that the world is not yet fixed stomping its way out of a new Breach that quickly collapses. Because that’s the truth. Just because they know what to do, doesn’t mean they’ll succeed. If something goes wrong, it’s over. For them and for everyone else.

“Kyun,” Yoohyeon says softly from the top bed. It’s dark and even though the siren keeps ringing in the other side of the Dome, Yoohyeon hasn’t moved an inch. 

Changkyun’s up, though, already, glances up as he blinks himself back into reality, which includes looking for his shoes.

“Do we have to go?” Yoohyeon asks softly.

Changkyun can feel his heart sink. Time is short, but he still walks slowly to the bed, gets on the bottom step of the ladder so he can look at her.

“I do…” Changkyun smiles small. “You don’t…”

“I should, though,” Yoohyeon says, eyes big and on Changkyun’s. “I trained for this… I should go and… and… do my job.”

Changkyun reaches out, pinches lightly at her cheek. “You already have. And listen… It’s okay, you know? To be scared. We almost died, last time, and I… I can’t promise you that if we go out there today, we’ll come back… I wish I could, but I can’t.”

Yoohyeon smiles small. “You better come back, though… I’ll… save you and Yoo Kihyun some chicken. He likes chicken, right?”

“Loves it,” Changkyun says, mimics her smile and leans forward to smack a kiss onto her forehead. “I love you, kay? I’ll be back, I promise…”

Yoohyeon nods. “When we win, I’ll invite you and Yoo Kihyun to my wedding.”

‘When’. Not if. Exactly what Changkyun needs. 

“Yeah, you better,” Changkyun says, and hops off the ladder, and jogs to the Bridge, looks around immediately. When he doesn’t see Kihyun there, he takes out his pager and quickly types;

‘C: WHERE R U’

‘K: OW’

“Overwatch?” Changkyun frowns. “Ugh, seriously, soldiers…” Changkyun sees Jooheon, jogs over and throttles his shoulder. “What’s this mean?”

Jooheon blinks, “Obsidian Wolf,” he mumbles and the glances at Changkyun. “What are you doing here, shouldn’t you be getting dressed?”

“Yeah, just needed to--” Changkyun clears his throat, stuffs his pager back into his pants and leans forward to whisper, “Listen, I need you to… Work with us, here. Kind of breaking a lot of rules.”

Jooheon frowns. “Who’s ‘us’ and what are you talking about?”

“Yoohyeon is not going to pilot today,” Changkyun says, glancing around.

Jooheon’s eyes go a little wide. “Oh, shit…” He turns to the comms table. “Shit… Yeah, okay. Keep, uhm, then, uh…” he gestures vaguely, “On her side. Keep her comms off.”

“Will do,” Changkyun says, and because he’s in that kind of mood, smacks a kiss to Jooheon’s cheek before darting off. 

Hyungwon is there, with his broken arm, watching Shownu and Hoseok get dressed. Changkyun looks around for Kihyun, though, but assumes he wouldn’t just be here. Especially not with the General right there.

Shownu glances at Changkyun, smiles small before turning to walk to the Jaeger already as Hoseok frowns down at himself.

“Hey, idiot,” Hyungwon says, and Changkyun is not  _ used  _ to hearing Hyungwon speak like that. He suddenly feels incredibly out of place, getting dressed as quickly as he can in the corner of the room, when Hoseok looks up at Hyungwon with a small pout. “Yes, you,” Hyungwon says, walks forward and Changkyun looks away just when Hyungwon leans in to kiss Hoseok on the lips. “You come back or I’ll go out there and kick your ass.”

“What if my ass is a puddle?” Hoseok mumbles, pouts as he looks at Hyungwon.

“I’ll kick the puddle. I’ll put it in a bucket and throw the bucket off a fucking cliff, watch me.”

Hoseok laughs, lets his head fall forward to Hyungwon’s shoulder. “Aish. So violent.”

“You think I’m a Ranger for the dental?” Hyungwon scoffs, pushing Hoseok off of him but still leans in for another soft kiss, before shoving again. “Go. Go before I don’t let you...”

“You can’t stop me with your noodle arms,” Hoseok chuckles as he steps back.

Hyungwon frowns and glares at Shownu. “Hey,  _ Hyunwoo. _ That’s the love of my life right there. You better watch it.”

Changkyun feels his own heart tug a little, and he just keeps getting dressed. At least he’s not in Hyungwon’s shoes; having to send Kihyun out there with someone else. 

Shownu and Hoseok walk into their fitting room and the door closes behind them when a bunch of people latch on to them, fitting platings and cables to their helmets. 

Hyungwon sighs, grumbles something to himself and then, as he turns around, stops, eyes on Changkyun. “Shouldn’t there be two of you?”

“Only if you’re drunk, Hyungwon,” Changkyun says, walking past him, patting his shoulder as he does.

“Whatever,” Hyungwon says as he walks away. “Don’t die out there, nerd. That Jaeger was expensive.”

Changkyun scoffs, and the moment he steps outside, he gets the same treatment as Shownu and Hoseok, being outfitted as fast as they seem able. 

Hwasa is here, so Changkyun clears his throat, asks under his breath, “So… Is everything okay with my co-pilot…?”

Hwasa scoffs, continues connecting the various sections of his suit on his body even as they walk. “Yeah, Yoohyeon looks a bit different today, don’t you think? What’s it with you and co-pilots with ‘Yoo’ in their name, anyway?”

Changkyun laughs, shrugs. “Hell if I know.”

“Well,” Hwasa says, puts a vitals bracelet around Changkyun’s wrist and then reaches down to add two to his ankles. “Obsidian doesn’t work with pedals. She’s holographic, works with motion capture. Better mobility. She will read these.”

“Guess I’ll just learn on the job, then…”

Hwasa straightens up and pats Changkyun’s cheek. “You’re good to go.” She steps aside. “Good luck.”

“Thanks, Hwasa,” Changkyun smiles, nods and walks to and into the Jaeger. It’s… “Woah,” Changkyun breathes, taking it all in. 

It’s  _ modern _ . And not just in that kind of sleek, minimalistic way people strive for, but Changkyun can practically  _ smell  _ the technology. It’s not rusty, it doesn’t look like an old garage and smell of oil. It’s  _ new, _ metallic and shiny. 

_ Shit, _ he needs to get his hands on this bad boy… Bad girl? Yeah, bad girl. 

At the front of the Conn-Pod (something Changkyun has taken to saying for obvious reasons), is Kihyun. The weight on Changkyun’s shoulders seem to ease out a little, just enough to move his legs forward and closer.

“Hey.”

Kihyun looks over and smiles small. “Hey.” He looks back at the frontal display. “Kyun, meet Wolf. Wolf, this is your new pilot.”

The A.I. display beeps and reads, ‘WELCOME KYUN’.

Changkyun steps in to Kihyun’s left side, and Obsidian Wolf seems to respond to it, link arm descending to latch onto the back of his suit, locking onto him, displays already popping up in front of him and to his left. 

The floor isn’t just a hole with pedals in it, it’s like a big tracking pad, and when he makes to walk forward, the floor moves and he doesn’t. 

“Shit, this is so cool!”

“Told ya you’d like her,” Kihyun says.

The A.I.’s voice sounds, then. _ “Voice Recognition Complete. Calibrating Left Pilot.” _

“Uhm,” Changkyun says, then. “Turn off Yoo Kihyun’s comms?”

_ “Done.” _

“Sweet,” Changkyun says, glances over. “Sorry, Jooheon suggested it for at least until we’re outside. Not much they can do, then.”

Kihyun nods, “I get it. Wolf has memory access, by the way. She adapts to your choices. Which means sometimes she will automatically select the best approach by herself without you needing to think more than ‘dodge’.”

“Kihyun,” Changkyun says with a very serious expression. “I think I’m in love. Tell me this thing can jump and I’ll get on one knee right now.”

Kihyun laughs and gestures at the displays when Wolf pulls at all the mechanical enhancements of the new Mark-7 projects.

“Oh, god, it’s porn,” Changkyun says, as his eyes dart down the list.

_ “Despite the digital advancements, I am still outfitted with a Nuclear Vortex Turbine and a smaller secondary turbine. Plating can seal the turbines for underwater efficiency. Both have enough power to power up cities like Chicago”, _ Wolf explains. Her voice is nice.

“She’s chatty,” Kihyun says, “You’ll like her.”

“I’m gonna  _ cry _ ,” Changkyun says with exasperation.

“ _ Obsidian Wolf,”  _ Jooheon sounds over the intercom. “ _ Ready for Neural Handshake. _ ”

Kihyun scoffs, glances at Changkyun. “Are you? It’s been a while.”

“Who’d have thought I’d miss having you in my head.”

The A.I. beeps and Wolf says,  _ “Preparing pilots for Neural Handshake. Five. Four. Three--” _

Two.

One.

And then white and blue as images flash forward.

It’s smoother. Maybe that’s just how it works with Obsidian Wolf. There’s no pull, no black hole. Images just seem to flow quickly, warmth spreads in and all Changkyun feels is  _ safe. _ A sense of security that belongs only to Yoo Kihyun washing over Changkyun. __

It should be misleading. It should be disorientating, to feel so safe while the world burns, but honestly, it just makes Changkyun feel like he can handle the fire.

_ “Connection established,” _ Wolf says.  _ “Neural Handshake steady at 99%.” _

Changkyun gapes over at Kihyun.  _ Nice!  _ And at the same time he feels Kihyun inside his head thinking,  _ Indeed. _

_ “Jesus,” _ Jooheon mumbles over the intercom.  _ “Get ready for disembarkation.”  _

“Where is it?” Changkyun asks.

_ “Ground Zero is approximately 200 kilometres east of the Mariana Islands,” _ Wolf explains.

“In the Mariana Trench?” Kihyun asks, frowns. “That’s where the previous Breach opened.”

_ “It’s a Category 7, guys,” _ Jooheon says.

“So was the last one, but, then again, we kind of… Had more guys.” Changkyun mumbles.

_ “We are worth three,”  _ Wolf says, then, and Kihyun snorts.

“Stop reading my neural pathways, you ass,” he says.

_ “It is a correct assessment.” _ Wolf counters.  _ “Establishing connection to Paladin. Connection Established.” _

_ Too late to back out now, right _ ?

“ _ Comms with Yoo Kihyun re-established _ .”

Changkyun blinks. “Shit, she’s good.”

_ “The Breach opened in the Challenger Deep,”  _ Shownu says over the comms.  _ “Obsidian can get there faster. Your orders are to observe and not engage. Are we clear? You keep your distance until we arrive.” _

“Observe and not engage,” Changkyun repeats. “Nature documentary. Gotcha.”

_ “And Captain Yoo,” _ Shownu adds just as Changkyun sees the front gates open for them,  _ “You and I will have a word when we’re back.” _

“Love the optimism!” Changkyun says, grinning. And he feels a warmth that is not his own fill his chest and correlates to the sound of Changkyun’s own voice.

“Noted, General,” Kihyun mumbles. “Hey, Wolf, run a simulation for Changkyun real quick.”

A display shows up right in front of Changkyun’s eyes, a video of their last battle. And just as his heart speeds up at the memory, a holographic shield shows atop his forearm.

_ “For better reaction time, long distance sensors will make two thousand predictions in two seconds. A holographic sequence will display in front of you mid battle for you to have a better grasp of distance, force and your place in the battle, how everything flows.” _

The display goes off and Changkyun sees a simulated claw rush towards him in slow motion. As he dodges it, the holographic shield changes into a sword.

_ “I can predict the best method for each counter attack. Your decisions will always take priority, however.” _

And the rest of the simulation  _ really  _ helps; gives Changkyun a much better idea of how Obsidian functions, of how actual battle will be. All in all, it’s fantastic. She’s faster, more mobile. There are moves they can pull off in this thing that would make Rogue Fox fall apart at the seams. 

“Hey, you think we can do a flip?” Changkyun asks as he continues through the simulation. It feels like warming up; stretching his muscles before he needs to run.

Obsidian steps into the water on her own, ports sealing as she submerges and goes into compact form. The thrusters are engaged and they’re on their way in less than five minutes.

_ “Using momentum, yes.” _ Wolf replies.  _ “Otherwise, we risk compromising the Jaeger.” _

_ Good to know _ . “You okay being called ‘Wolf’? You don’t want a name or something?”

_ “You don’t like my name?” _

“Hey, woah, just making sure you do!”

_ “I like my name.” _

_ “Changkyun, are you seriously getting into debates with the A.I?” _ Jooheon asks over the intercom.

Kihyun sighs, leans back onto the link arm a little. “It’s even better when you can listen to his thought process inside your head. Just hilarious, really.”

_ “The black wolf is a melanistic colour variant of the gray wolf. They are usually between 4 to 6.56 feet and weight about 18 to 79 kilograms.”  _ Wolf explains and Changkyun sighs a little.  _ “Obsidian is a naturally occurring volcanic glass formed as an extrusive igneous rock.” _

_ Man, wolves are cool… I wanna be a wolf in my next life... _

“So,” Kihyun clears his throat, grins, “You’re--”  _ Volcanic spit. _

_ “Volcanic spit? Quite.” _

Changkyun scoffs. It’s a funny time, this ‘journey to the giant death lizard’. He’s glad it’s spent like this. Even with Yoohyeon, there was more… Getting mentally prepared. Trying not to be scared. Again, this just feels like stretching.

Stretching in seconds that turn to minutes and then hours.

_ “Nearly halfway there, kids,” _ Jooheon mumbles through the intercom.

“From all the people I’ve had inside my head,” Kihyun mumbles, “You’re the only one that makes this feel like a stroll in the park.”

_ Fucked up park, though _ .

“Maybe,” Kihyun says, “But so what?” He glances over. “At least with you there I feel like we can win. And if we don’t then…” He shrugs. “Well. At least it won’t be sad.”

_ “I can play you a lullaby, if you want,” _ Wolf says.

Changkyun hears a sniff, and despite how loud his heart sounds in his ears, he laughs. “Jooheon, was that you?”

_ “Yeah. You two are gross.” _

“Yeah, play us whatever you want, Wolfie,” Changkyun says, smiles over at Kihyun. He wonders if Kihyun can feel it, that tiny pull in his chest whenever he looks at him, the warmth.

_ “Playing; Radioactive by Imagine Dragons, 2012.” _

“Uh!” Kihyun laughs a little. “This brings back memories.” 

And as he says that, Changkyun feels them flow into his brain. A concert. Kihyun went to a concert, watched Imagine Dragons live once. Changkyun grins at the memory, swears he can feel the base, that brilliant intensity Imagine Dragons portrays in their music that Kihyun loves so much.

“I’ve never been to a concert,” Changkyun says.

“Let’s go then,” Kihyun says, doesn’t look over. “Let’s go to a concert someday.”

“Sounds good,” Changkyun says, embraces the warmth as he watches them near the red dot on the radar. It’s still far, but less so with every minute. “And a zoo? Always wanted to go to a zoo.”

“A natural reserve sounds better,” Kihyun muses.

“Ooooh, yeah…”

_ “I swear, I wanna mute you guys but it’s kinda cute…”  _ Hoseok scoffs. 

Wolf beeps and says,  _ “I have never been to a zoo either.” _

Changkyun laughs. “We’ll take a video and upload it, yeah?”

_ “Or you can always come back to the Drift and I can experience your memories as my own.” _

Changkyun blinks, goes “Oh,” and then blushes.

“Oh god…” Kihyun rolls his eyes.  _ “Really!?” _

“I’m a private person, Kihyun!”

_ “Are you?” _ Jooheon drawls.  _ “I’m shocked.” _

Wolf beeps again,  _ “I will keep your secrets, don’t worry.” _

_ It’s not a secret that I like sucking his-- _ “Nope.”

“Is it hot in here or is it just me?” Kihyun mumbles. “These suits are thermo, right? I hate it. It’s sealing all the juices in.”

“Yep,” Changkyun squeaks, and then laughs, “Oh god never say that again!”

Wolf beeps.  _ “If you need to urinate--” _

“I don’t!” Kihyun almost shouts.

Changkyun laughs, shakes his head. “Stop making this fun for me, we’re literally nearing Godzilla right now.”

_ “In a quick analysis to your memory sequence and profile provided by the psychologist in charge, I have concluded you work better in light situations and cope with humour. If my approach displeases you, I shall change immediately.” _

Changkyun grumbles. “Nah, you’re right, continue.”

_Hang on, when the fuck did I see a psychologist?_ _Are they watching me?!_

“There’s a file on everyone,” Kihyun chuckles. 

Changkyun puffs. “Definitely asking for mine when we get back…”

“It’s right after the A, between the B and the D.” Kihyun says.

“Is yours between the Q and the T?” Changkyun grins.

_ “Target acquired,” _ Wolf says and Changkyun feels it when the thrusters desingage.  _ “Stabilizing. Underwater pressure over 1000 bars. Estimation before emergency resurface; two hours.” _

Changkyun clears his throat. “Right, the reason we’re here. Any readings on the Kaiju, Wolfie?”

_ “Scanning. Confirmed. Coming ahead. Eminent collision in five minutes.” _

The front display shifts and moves itself to the front visor. It’s dark. Visibility null. But just as Changkyun thinks he can’t see shit, Wolf changes the display to infrared and then quickly to infrasound.

A tiny beep and a holographic window pops up. A 3D model of the Kaiju incoming at twelve o’clock. It’s big, head shaped like a knife and it swims like a snake, legs pulled back, body wiggling through the water.

“That’s just nightmarish,” Kihyun huffs.

_ It’s… huge. Fuck. _

_ “That’s what she said,” _ Wolf says.

Changkyun huffs a laugh, turns to look at Kihyun. “Any plans? It looks like a damn knife.”

“One plan,” Kihyun says, moves his foot back in that signature Changkyun knows so well and Changkyun feels his foot move back as well.

The intercom beeps and Shownu says,  _ “Did I not explicitly mention not engaging until we arrive?” _

“Yep, but that thing is fast and it’s coming right at us,” Kihyun says. He looks at Changkyun.  _ We wait and we dodge. We can’t take it at that speed, it will split us in half. _

_ Are we anywhere near land? It looks like it’s made for underwater battle. _

Wolf beeps.  _ “Negative.” _

Kihyun looks at the display and his eyes go a little wide. “Teeth! Dodge, dodge!”

Changkyun feels his breath leave him in a woosh as hs body moves in tandem with Kihyun’s and Obsidian Wolf’s thrusters turn at full power to help with the slow dodge. The Kaiju swims through at full speed, like a torpedo speeding up underwater.

“Shit…” Kihyun looks at Changkyun. “Hey, is that model of yours installed already? The sound one. I have an idea.”

“Yeah. Disorientate it, maybe even bait it to land,” Changkyun says, as he brings the needed display forward. “How fast do we want this thing to swim?”

“I think the question is,” Kihyun huffs looking over his shoulder and then turning as Obsidian turns to face the Kaiju, “Can we outrun it?”

Wolf quickly brings up a display with a predictive model.  _ “Barely, but I can divert all energy to thrusters. The remaining energy will auto regen once we reach land and the reactor vents.” _

_ Plus, we can zig zag. Like with alligators! _

Kihyun snorts, “Well, that’s the plan.”

_ “What plan, what are you doing?” _ Hoseok asks.

_ “Why do I try…” _ Shownu sighs.

“Wolfie, aim for the closest, least populated land mass, preferably an island,” Changkyun says. “We’re luring it to land, Shownu. It’s clearly water based, it’ll give us an advantage.”

Wolf beeps.  _ “Course set, compacting. Directions sent to Paladin Jinx.” _

“I swear we need a hundred of these Mark-7s,” Kihyun mumbles.

_ “Directing power to main thrusters.” _

Kihyun looks at Changkyun and nods. “Punch it.”

Changkyun turns the sound on, scoffs and says, “Jeremy wiggle mode; activated.” 

And he can’t hear the hertz, but he can hear the Kaiju roar, even in the water, can hear the thrusters spark to life and feel how they start speeding through the water.  _ Ah, too fast!  _ Changkyun scrunches his eyes closed. 

“I hope you can steer this thing!”

_ “Minimal maneuvers required, who do you take me for.” _

“Yeah, Kyun,” Kihyun laughs a little, “Who do you take her for.”

Changkyun just makes a small little ‘eep’ sound and says nothing, peeks every now and then. Just black water speeding past, feels G-forces push a little against him as they indeed  _ do  _ zig zag.  _ Ugh, I already can’t wait to go home. _

_ You are home. _

“Gross,” Changkyun mumbles, but smiles nonetheless. He wants to hold Kihyun’s hand, stupid suits… And just as he thinks it, a memory is thrown at him. Warmth, Kihyun’s hand in his and a soft kiss on the head.

_ “T minus seven minutes to land.” _

Changkyun’s heart fucking  _ melts _ . That, that’s what he’s fighting for. So he takes a breath and opens his eyes and suddenly the rushing water doesn’t bother him anymore. It’s no longer a deep, dark blue. It’s lighter.

_ “Decreasing speed.” _

Kihyun peeks at the display. “Oh, great… She’ll flies us out of the water and turn battle mode on spot, greaaaaat. Gravity pull.”

_ “By your tone I am inclined to think you disapprove.” _

_ She kind of sounds like me, sometimes.  _ Changkyun thinks ‘shield’ and he can see the hologram on his arm, holds it close to himself, ready for the attack.

In less than a few seconds, the pressure changes. The water turns almost transparent until it’s but a thin layer between them and the surface.

Obsidian Wolf stabilizes into combat mode the moment she emerges out of the water, sends massive waves washing the coral riff just ahead. And as she jumps, ports opening, turbines uncovering, the shield comes up on her left arm just in time to fend off the tip of the Kaiju’s knifehead. 

The metallic sound is deafening, as bone scratches onto the shield’s surface. Changkyun feels the pressure in his arm. It’s familiar. Almost weighs as much as when Kihyun and Shownu had come to save his ass. But he pushes against the Kaiju, uses the momentum to jump back onto the riff, Obsidian’s feet standing right by the water surface. And then, from under his shield, a holographic sword pops out just as Obsidian brings out its dual sword. 

“Pushing back!” Changkyun says, gives a shove at the shield and it quickly collapses until all he’s holding is the sword, the Kaiju tipping off balance but quickly, like something between a fish and a cat, turning itself back onto its feet. It rushes them, but on its legs, it’s not as fast. Still a massive Kaiju with a knife for a head, though.

But this is Obsidian Wolf, not Rogue Fox. A mix between a blade dancer and a street fighter Jaeger. So, just as the Kaiju pushes in, head sharp, Changkyun lifts his arm and fends off with the sword, Kihyun quickly going in with his right, piercing through one of the Kaiju’s legs.

It’s a strong boi, obviously, so it quickly uses its weight to force Obsidian to kneel. The display warns the dampers are being stressed and Kihyun quickly thinks,  _ forward thrusters, _ in time for Obsidian to slide back, away from the Kaiju.

_ “We’re here,” _ Hoseok says over the intercom.

“The sound should have masked you!” Changkyun calls out. “Sneak attack!”

And Paladin jumps out of the water-- _ Penis head! _ \-- _ Oh, I missed you, Kihyun _ \--crashing against the Kaiju’s back.

“Wanna see something cool?” Kihyun asks. 

_ Obviously _ .

Without a word, Obsidian’s right thrusters activate just as she steps forward. She spins, left blade (Changkyun feels the zriction in his arm) cutting through the Kaiju’s belly as it lifts its front legs with Paladin still crushing onto its back. And then, a full spin and the right blade connects. It’s like…

_ A blade dance. _

_ I fucking love it _ .

In comparison, Paladin looks like a damn wrestler. It pushes down onto the Kaiju, using its thrusters to combat the size difference. 

_ Think these swords can penetrate the skull? _

“Worth a try,” Kihyun mumbles.

Changkyun and Kihyun bring their arms up, swords in each hand pressed together, lifting up before stabbing it back down and onto the Kaiju’s head. It’s a horrible sound, as the skull cracks and the metal scrapes against bone, the Kaiju screaming. It’s still alive, though.

“Again!”

And they lift again, push back down and the skull splits, bleeds blue as the creature squirms and the sound is even  _ worse  _ because now it’s all  _ squishy and ugh _ .

_ “Warning. Life signs detected. Category 1.” _

_ Do they not teach sex ed to these things?! _

The Kaiju’s spine splits in half and blue shoots everywhere. Both Paladin and Obsidian step back, away from it, but something, smaller but still as big as Obsidian herself jumps at her, throws her off balance and down onto the rift.

All Changkyun and Kihyun see as they lose their senses for a moment are the holographic teeth that seem to want to sink into the Conn-Pod, held off only by the arm Changkyun unconsciously held up and Wolf shielded for him.

“Throw it!” Kihyun says as he brings the right arm up to help Changkyun throw the smaller Kaiju over them and away. “Jesus…” He huffs. “That scared me.” And indeed, his heartbeat is over the top on the little vitals display.

_ “Is that a Kaiju baby--AH!” _ Hoseok yelps as it tackles them, and he lifts an arm to shoot at it from the side. “ _ Geddof! _ ”

_ “Guys,” _ Jooheon warns,  _ “A new Breach popping up in a few…” _

“What?!” Changkyun asks, moving forward to try and pull the Kaiju off of Paladin. “Where?”

_ “Not far from you, somewhere near Gwan.” _

They manage to pry the Kaiju off of Paladin, move it up and over them with momentum to smack it down onto the small mass of land. It makes a gurgling sound as it wiggles fast and tries to get back on his feet. 

“Have you two got this?” Changkyun asks, looking down at the Kaiju, moving a foot up to pin it down.  _ Why is this funny... _ “We’ll try and intercept.”

_ “Do not engage if it’s--” _

_ “Communications cut off,”  _ Wolf informs.

Changkyun barks a laugh. “Kihyun!”

“What?” Kihyun glances over, lips pouty. “It’s the static.”

“Aish, you can get away with anything looking like that,” Changkyun says, lifts his leg after another stomp _ \--it wiggles! It’s funny!- _ -before they start running.

_ “Breach detected, Category 8 coming through.” _

_ Jesus... _

They keep running, though, coordinates flashing on their screen. “Knew that was too easy…”

_ “Satellite 3D scan complete,” _ Wolf says and the Kaiju model shows on the display. It’s big. And, apparently, it flies.

“Do we…?” Changkyun’s throat suddenly feels a bit dry.

“No…” Kihyun mumbles.

“I’ll hold it down, and you punch the wings.”

Kihyun turns the comms back on. “Obsidian to Bridge, I think we--"

_ “Worry not!”  _ Seola chirps over the intercom.  _ “The Cavalry has arrived!” _ A pause. _ “Well, not yet, just give us, uh, ten minutes. Just thought it sounded like a cool entrance.” _

_ “Ugh,” _ Dami sighs.

“Great!” Changkyun says as they run, water coming up to Obsidian’s knees before it goes back down as they approach another riff. “Did Hwasa finish those upgrades? The Mark-7 parts I asked for.”

_ “Yes! New circuits installed. Rogue Fox awaits you two back at the Dome, brand new.” _

“You can pry Wolfie from my cold, dead hands.”

_ “Indeed, they can. But I won’t let them.” _

Changkyun pouts, looks at Kihyun. “Ki, she likes me!”

Kihyun rolls his eyes. “Of course she does. You’re both charming assholes.”

“Sweet talker.”.


	15. Safe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, let them come, whatever it is, whoever they are. They’re going to kick some ass and maybe call it a day. And if not? Then they’ll kick some ass, smile and call it a life.

  


 

It was big, and it took them almost two hours and three Jaegers to bring it down. It was big, heavy, slow but powerful, and it spit blue everywhere. It took patience, it took a lot of dodging. And then, when the thing tried to fly, it took Hoseok a few tears because he’s, apparently, afraid of heights.

But apart from the new plating Paladin Jinx will need, everyone came back safely and no major repairs were needed. Still, Kihyun and Changkyun didn’t escape the dressing down in Shownu’s office.

“You two, especially you,” Shownu says, holding up a finger to point at Kihyun. Shownu looks a bit more… frazzled than usual. Maybe it’s because he’s not wearing his hat. The hat adds stature, somehow. “Disobeyed  _ direct  _ orders.”

“In our defence--” Changkyun starts, but Shownu’s finger just moves to him and he shuts up in reaction.

“No, no defense. Were you not worried that Kihyun might slip again? You’d be dead if he did.”

Changkyun sighs. “He  _ didn’t _ , though. And I really don’t think he will again.” After all, there might still be lines tattooed on his arm, but there’s also a dog tag resting at the bottom of the Busan shore.

Kihyun sighs. “Can you two stop talking about me like I’m not here? Why does this keep happening--”

“Shush,” Shownu says and Kihyun eats the rest of his words with a funny sound. It makes Changkyun scoff a little. Shownu looks between the two of them, sighs and lean back, fingers on his forehead. “On the record? I’m mad. Those orders were given to keep  _ you  _ safe. But…” He glances up. “Off the record, I am glad you two were there.”

Changkyun perks up. A weird mixture of pride and surprise.  _ Surpride? _ “Oh. Okay. Good? Does that mean we can do it again…?”

“Disobey?” Shownu raises an eyebrow. “Never again.”

Changkyun whines. “But hyung, we kicked ass out there!”

“I said you can’t disobey. Not that you can’t go kick ass.”

“I get that you have your orders but the  _ world _ is at--Wait, what was that?”

Shownu looks at Kihyun. “You’ll have an evaluation done by your therapist tomorrow. If you do good, I’ll petition for a full reeinstatement.”

Changkyun smiles wide, looks between the two of them. “That’s great!”

Shownu points at Changkyun. “Stop influencing him to disobey.”

“Nothing else we could possibly disobey, to be honest. I  _ have  _ the code for the kitchens, after all.”

“What you have is work to do, so get to it,” Shownu says and sighs, turns his chair around towards the big windows. “You’re both dismissed.”

Changkyun nods and stands up to leave. He rolls his shoulders and puffs a small breath. He is  _ tired _ . But Shownu is right, they have work to do. Changkyun has a few kinks in his plan, and he needs to smooth them out before they can do anything. 

Once he’s outside the office, he puts his hands up over his head to properly stretch to the ceiling. “Ugh, wish I could just sleep… Nothing goes wrong when you’re sleeping. And even if it does, that’s okay, you don’t know, you’re sleeping.”

Kihyun makes a small face. “That’s… Disturbing.”

“What, you never just sleep your problems away? It feels  _ great. _ ”

“Oh, yeah,” Kihyun scoffs, glances away, “I’ve done that. But I wouldn’t want the world to end while I sleep.”

“Again, you wouldn’t know. You just… wouldn’t wake up,” Changkyun shrugs. 

“That’s the scary bit,” Kihyun snorts, scratches at his forehead and sighs. “Anyway… I’m--” He points in the opposite direction Changkyun needs to go, “Promised Yoohyeon we’d train together.”

“Oh,” Changkyun smiles. “That’s kinda cute. I will, obviously, be in my lab. Because I live there, apparently.”

Kihyun glances over and then leans in for a kiss before turning away. “I’ll see you later, then.”

Changkyun just lifts a hand to wave, watches Kihyun until he’s out of sight, and drops his hand into his pocket to turn in heel, humming a little all the way to the lab. 

Jason and a few other scientists are here, obviously, everyoneis working their butts off here at the edge of Armageddon, but Changkyun just plops down in front of his laptop, does a quick Google search for some Imagine Dragons, and puts his earphones in, listening to a compilation as he works.

And  _ damn, _ is it motivating. 

An hour or two pass (his only measure of time, at this moment, is how many songs he cycles through), and no matter what angle Changkyun tries it at, which calculations he tries to make squeeze into that gap that makes it ‘work’, there’s a fact staring him straight in the face and he just stares back, hoping it will vanish. 

But, of course, it doesn’t.

What they need to do… It would be like trying to squeeze a bowling ball into the top of a glass bottle and expecting the bottle not to shatter.

Changkyun pauses the music and sighs, running his hands down his face. 

And to think, for a moment there, he’d thought he’d make it out of this alive. But if they want to do this, and they have to, they’ll have to tear that damn Breach open, the bottle will have to break, and there’s no telling how many Kaiju will be able to slip through. The average estimate, though, mocks him from the bottom of a page.

_ 8 _ .

Fucking  _ eight _ .

They can barely kill one of these things… 

Changkyun takes the paper on his desk, and walks quickly to Shownu’s office, gives a quick knock at the door. Might as well, right? Sooner rather than later.

It’s a little scary, how numb he feels.

“Hyung?”

“Come in.”

“Yo,” Changkyun says, then, as he walks in, falls down onto the chair, looks at Shownu looking out the windows. It’s raining. It’s always raining. “I have great news and really shit news. Which do you want first?”

Shownu takes a deep breath and then gets up from his chair, keeps looking out the window, steps closer to the glass, in fact, and crosses his arms. “The great news first.”

Changkyun nods as he speaks. “I finished all the calculations. It’ll definitely work. We’ll save the universe and never see another Kaiju again.”

Shownu takes more than a second, but then he looks over his shoulder. “And the bad news?”

Changkyun puts the paper down on Shownu’s desk (calculations, mostly) and sighs. “I’ll have to… Open the Breach. A lot. I can’t tell you exactly how many Kaiju will be able to get through, but it’ll be a lot, and they’ll be strong. The average is eight, with a minimum of category eight. The bad news is…” Changkyun fees his chest contract, and he actually misses that numb feeling. “The shit news is that every Ranger that goes out there will most likely die.”

Shownu’s expression barely shifts, he looks down as he turns to the window again. “I had a feeling it would turn out to be something like this.” He lets his arms down. “I’ll see that we have all our Jaegers operational. But… I won’t accept anyone to come with unless they want to.” He turns to Changkyun. “And that includes you.”

Changkyun looks down at his hands. They’re in his lap again, fiddling again. He barely realises when he’s doing that, anymore. “Kihyun will go, whether I do or not, I know he’ll want to go, and I can’t exactly let him go without me, can I…”

“You can,” Shownu says, “The question is whether you want to.”

Changkyun laughs a little under his breath. It’s entirely insincere, because it really fucking hurts. “If he’s gonna die, he’s sure as hell not dying alone.”

“Since when did you get all romantic about this?” Shownu asks, laughs a little. “You’ve changed, Kyun.”

Changkyun shrugs, looks away. “So have you... So has he. I like to see it as character development.”

“Very well…” Shownu clears his throat and pulls at the chair to sit in front of the table. “I’ll… bring this up with the Marshal. And then with the Rangers.” He sighs, pulls the paper with Changkyun’s calculations closer to him. “Thank you for everything, Changkyun. Your… Parents would be proud of you. You’ve surpassed them in every way possible.”

The mention of his parents, of Grace with her silly jokes and Sinhyeok with his boundless enthusiasm, pulls so suddenly at Changkyun’s heart that he doesn’t even bother to deny the way his eyes water, and he bites at his lip to keep the thickness in his throat at bay. 

Shownu smiles a little in a way that feels like warmth. “I’m proud of you, too.”

“Fuck,” Changkyun says as he feels himself crack, tears spilling as he reaches up to stop them. “ _ Ugh _ ,” he says, seeing the wetness on his sleeves, keeps wiping. “Yeah--yeah, like I  _ care _ ,” Changkyun teases with a wavering voice. “Well,” he says, keeps  _ wiping, why won’t they stop _ \-- “Guess if I’m gonna die, I’ll go the same way my parents did.”

_ Fighting ‘till the end with the person I love _ .

...Love, huh? Changkyun scoffs lightly at himself. Yeah, of course he’d choose the end of the world as the best time to fall in love. Absolute genius, this one.

“I know I always talk about doing the right thing,” Shownu says, eyes on the paper between his hands. “And, in a way, it’s a speech for another day. But… Someone else might’ve gotten it wrong, no?” He shrugs. “Someone else, not Kihyun. Someone else, not me. Someone else, not you. When we leave what needs to be done to someone else, we don’t get to complain about the outcome.”

“Maybe someone else wouldn’t get us all killed in the process,” Changkyun tries to joke lightly, just sighs, though. “Ugh. We should… Do this as soon as we can. Try to limit how powerful these damn Kaiju are at the end…”

“I had an idea that will buy us a few days while we get everything ready. I’m no mathematician like you but…” Shownu laces his fingers together over the table and looks up. “I’ve spoken to the Navy. They have a few ships spreading magnetic Palladium through specific places of the trenches. It might buy us some time. Slow down the particles and the speed at which they aglomerate.”

Changkyun raises an eyebrow. “Aglomerate, indeed. Not bad, General.”

“I learn a thing or two, listening to you white coats blab all the time.”

“Clearly,” Changkyun says, and when he’s sure his face isn’t still covered in tears, decides to yeet before they come back. “Anyway, I should… go find Ki, wherever he is…”

Shownu nods, “Go. I’ll call a meeting later tonight, after dinner.”

Changkyun nods, back, but hovers at the doorway. “Oh, and… Thanks, I guess. For essentially forcing me into a room with Yoo Kihyun.”

“Oh?”

Changkyun rolls his eyes despite the sheepish smile. “Oh, indeed.”

“Well, thank you, too, then. For helping one of my best soldiers save himself from… himself.”

Changkyun smiles soft, gives a two fingered salute and turns to leave. 

There are two places Kihyun could be; either still training with Yoohyeon, or already back in his room, to shower or already showered. The training space is closest, so Changkyun stops there first, peeks his head in but only sees Yoohyeon, hair up in… two buns? For some reason that makes Changkyun smile. 

“Hey, beautiful,” Changkyun says, aware that he’s just a floating head in the doorway.

Yoohyeon jumps, “Eeek!” Throws a shoe in Changkyun’s direction and it hits the wall. “Hi!” 

Changkyun blinks slowly before laughing. “And  _ what  _ was that?” he asks as he walks closer.

“Nothing!” Yoohyeon says, shakes her head, eyes wide. “You scared me, that’s all…”

“Right,” Changkyun chuckles, tilts his head to put his chin on the doorway. “How did practise go? I assume he just left.”

Yoohyeon nods and then smiles, points at donut buns in her head. “Look!”

“He did those, didn’t he?” Changkyun grins, remembers Kihyun telling him about Takashi’s little sister. No wonder it made him smile.

“Yep! ‘Cause I was sad I couldn’t floor him so he said he’d make strawberry donuts. Get it? Because the ends of my hair are red.”

Changkyun smiles soft, ignores the niggling fear at the back of his mind that reminds him that she’ll probably be in a Jaeger, out there. “I get it… And see? He’s adorable. Told ya.”

Yoohyeon nods, “If you’re looking for him, he said he was going to take a shower so he’s probably in his room.”  _ Knew it _ . “And hey! Good job out there!” She grins and punches forward, “You kicked some ass.”

Changkyun bows a little. “Thank you, thank you. That Mark-7 is a  _ literal dream _ , though. I literally cannot take all the credit, neither can Kihyun. That thing is…” Changkyun whistles low. “Damn.”

“Maybe I’ll get to pilot her someday,” Yoohyeon chirps. She looks so cute with the red buns sticking to her head. Changkyun reaches out to squish at one of them and laugh, again, despite that stupid fear at the back of his head. 

“Yeah, maybe you will. In any case, lemme see if I can catch Kihyun while he’s still in the shower,” Changkyun says with a playful wink.

“Good banging!” Yoohyeon shouts as she throws a fist up and then giggles and runs away. Changkyun laughs and shakes his head because yep, there’s a reason they’re drift compatible. 

The hallways are busy, but less so when he reaches the common rooms. Everyone is working… Of course they are, of course they should, but… But Changkyun will go help Hwasa with the Jaegers later, after the meeting. Now he just really hopes Kihyun’s door is unlocked.

And it is. Unfortunately, however, Kihyun is already dressed, casual clothes, just sweatpants and a t-shirt, towel over his head as he rubs at his hair.

“Hey?” Kihyun blinks.

Changkyun realises, then, that he doesn’t want to tell him. 

He doesn’t  _ want  _ to even though he has to, even though Kihyun will find out soon, anyway. But most of all, Changkyun just doesn’t want a world without Kihyun in it. Because they’re saving it for that lady at the food stand, for that girl Kihyun waved at, for Yoohyeon to be able to go back and marry her girlfriend, but for Changkyun? This feels like it.

He doesn’t want to have nothing to come back to.

“Hi,” Changkyun says, probably a bit late, hovers by the doorway. That seems to be his  _ thing  _ today. “Am I bothering you..?”

“What?” Kihyun scoffs, sits down on the bed and lets the towel fall to his shoulders. “No, come in.” He looks up. “Shouldn’t you be at the lab, though?”

“In a bit,” Changkyun mumbles. “Just… wanted to see you, I guess.”

Kihyun frowns a little, pats the bed next to him. “Sit?”

“Woof,” Changkyun says with a small smile as he plops down. He falls back a little, though. God bless mattresses.

Kihyun looks over his shoulder, peeks at Changkyun. “You okay?”

Changkyun pouts, holds his arms out. Maybe Kihyun can soften the bad news out of him. Sounds probable. “Just need to recharge.”

“Recharge?” Kihyun chuckles, brings his feet up to the bed and then crawls over Changkyun. Kihyun smiles as he shakes his head and drizzles Changkyun a little. 

It makes Changkyun giggle a little, and he keeps his arms out like a starfish. “Yeah. I’m a solar panel. You’re the sunshine.”

Kihyun scoffs a laugh and leans down to press his lips against Changkyun’s for a moment. It’s so sweet and soft... “There, then. Sun kisses.” And then he places small but loud kisses on Changkyun’s cheek.

Changkyun brings his arms up, wraps them around Kihyun’s waist and lets him. Because it’s always raining outside, and he can’t change the weather. But this is his sunshine, at least for now.

“Believe it or not I am feeling  _ much  _ better already.”

“Glad to know it works,” Kihyun mumbles, nose rubbing on Changkyun’s jawline. “You’re like a plant, need to be watered with attention and have a few minutes of sunlight every day or you wither.” 

“Honestly, I’m not even going to pretend to be offended,” Changkyun giggles, raising his chin a little. “Sun’s too nice to complain…”

“It rains a lot in Busan during winter. You should’ve picked somewhere else to root.”

“Why? Are you going somewhere?”

“Hm,” Kihyun hums as he sits up and straddles Changkyun, eyes on the ceiling. “No. Not until this is over.” He shrugs and looks down. “Then, I’ll see…”

“We’ll go somewhere sunny,” Changkyun says, pouts. It feels like false hope, like lying. “Then you can just put me by the window when I’m being needy.”

“But I like you needy,” Kihyun says, pouts a little. He reaches with his hand to comb through Changkyun’s hair and Changkyun looks at the black lines that run up Kihyun’s arm.

“Good to know,” Changkyun says, reaches with his fingertips to trace the lines. “Hey, I never asked and the Drift didn’t tell me; what does it mean? The tattoo.”

Kihyun looks at his forearm and frowns a little. “It’s… mostly a reminder. That… sometimes reaching out is not enough. You have to grab onto something or it’ll slip away from your grasp.”

Changkyun looks at the lines and his heart lurches a little, as he trails higher and higher, until his fingertips reach up to Kihyun’s cheek. Soft. There’s an Omega-3 joke in there somewhere but he can’t be assed right now. “Yeah… I think I get that…”

Kihyun glances at Changkyun, searches his eyes for a moment and then starts, “Hey, I--” But gets interrupted by a knock on the door. He slides to the side and sits on the bed. “It’s open.”

“Oh, hey, hi,” Jason tries, head peeking in, “Have you seen--Oh! Changkyun. I tried to page you but...”

Well, this is awkward. Changkyun sits up, leans forward to look at him. “Hey… ‘Sup?”

“Nothing, nothing, just wanted to know if you want me to take the report in separate copies for the Rangers or if one is enough.” Jason smiles a little and glances at Kihyun. “S--Sorry if I’m interrupting something but the General paged me. The meeting is right after dinner, right?”

Kihyun raises an eyebrow, brings a side of his towel up to the back of his head and glances at Changkyun.

“Uhm, yeah,” Changkyun nods. “Thanks...”

“Will do,” Jason says, and hesitates before he leaves. “Oh, and Minhyuk said he can have enough coded material ready in two days,” he adds, and then smiles a little before closing the door behind him.

Kihyun lets the towel down and keeps looking at Changkyun. “Meeting?”

Changkyun sighs, runs a hand through his hair. “Can we not talk about it..?”

Kihyun frowns. “Talk about what?”

“The meeting, the  _ thing _ , I just…” Changkyun sighs again. “I don’t wanna think about it.”

“I’m confused. Is something happening?”

“Yes, obviously. Something is  _ always _ happening.”

Kihyun rolls his eyes and gets up to throw the towel into the laundry bag. “Alright, no need to get all passive-aggressive.  _ Jesus _ .” 

Changkyun looks up, raises an eyebrow. “Where’s  _ that  _ frustration coming from all of a sudden?”

“Should be asking you,” Kihyun mumbles, glances over. “You’re the one who seems frustrated.”

“Of course I’m frustrated, Kihyun, I have to--” 

_ I could save the world but lose you _ .

Kihyun frowns, looks down at his feet. “Sorry…"

Changkyun deflates. “What for...”

“I know there’s a ton of shit on your shoulders, shit you didn’t ask for… So, yeah. I’m sorry about that.”

“Not your fault,” Changkyun grumbles to the floor. 

“Hm,” Kihyun says, licks his lips and then tongues at the corner. “Say…  _ When  _ this is over, do you have like… big plans?” He shrugs, glances over. “Like, I don’t know. Find the cure for cancer and so on...”

Changkyun laughs softly. “At this point, I feel like I can just do that over a weekend… But no, not really… After I collect my Nobel Peace Prize, I should be free to go.”

“Hm,” Kihyun nods. “You know, I…” He sighs. “Haven’t had a place to call home for the past five years, ever since my parents died. Even though there’s a house in Goyang under my name.” Kihyun shifts his weight from one foot to the other. He looks nervous and it makes Changkyun frown over at him, expression soft. “I’ve been thinking that… maybe it’s time I start thinking about giving it some use. So, if… If…” He clears his throat and look away but Changkyun can see red ears. “If you’re  _ not _ busy… I was wondering if maybe you’d like to come check it out.”

Changkyun looks at Kihyun with eyes he knows are searching. For what, he’s not sure. “What, like,” Changkyun defaults to humour. “Check the structural stability or something?”

“Y--Yeah, sure. Who knows, with the earthquakes and whatnot…” Kihyun mumbles, still doesn’t look at Changkyun. “You’re an engineer so… Could come in handy.”

“And if it’s safe?” Changkyun asks, doesn’t stop looking at Kihyun like that’ll help. His heart is so damn loud, and  _ what for _ . 

Kihyun seems to munch on air for a moment. By his profile, Changkyun can see his face all pink. “Then… we can, like, stay. Check for supernatural phenomena or something…”

The future looks so, so bright. If not for the enormous black cloud on the horizon. And he doesn’t want to  _ see  _ that damn cloud. 

“You want… me to move in with you? Into, like,” Changkyun frowns, eyes on the edge of tearing up. Again!  _ What is going on today! _ “A house?”

“Isn’t that what houses are for?” Kihyun asks, carefully peeking at Changkyun, eyes a little shiny.

“Ah, yeah, the natural habitat of your average gay,” Changkyun jokes, swallowing and holding his arms out again. “How could I refuse?”

Kihyun looks away, “I’m not going there, you’re gonna have to come here.”

Changkyun laughs a little, pushes himself up and gathers Kihyun in his arms. “You’re so stupid.”

“What,” Kihyun grumbles even as he leans his forehead on the crook of Changkyun’s neck, “It’s a great house. I mean… it’s been five years but I’m sure it’s great, despite the wild garden.”

“I’ve always wanted to garden,” Changkyun says, squeezing at Kihyun’s waist, sniffing at tears he refuses to let fall. If he starts crying now, he won’t stop for a  _ while _ . “There are no plants in the snow…”

“Right… You lived in the ice sheet… I forget that sometimes.” Kihyun mumbles and then laughs a little, buries his nose on Changkyun’s neck and it makes Changkyun’s heart ache a little. “You know… I remember that when Hyunwoo went to get you, he said it would take some time to convince you. And I said that the time it’d take to get you here wouldn’t be worth it if the world was about to end. And yet… the world wouldn’t even have a chance without you here. Talk about being proven wrong.”

Changkyun just holds Kihyun tighter. He can’t see Changkyun’s face when they’re like this, and that’s a good thing, too. “No pressure, huh?”

Because of course Changkyun will choose the world. There are so many people out there that love like this, and they deserve to, and so do all the people who haven’t yet. Changkyun couldn’t possibly take that away from any of them. But he still can’t help but feel a little selfish. Because he’s never really  _ had  _ a world to worry about; he had ice and numbers and science. But now?

“I should… Go, I guess…” Changkyun says, even as he doesn’t make to release Kihyun at all.

“Yeah…” Kihyun says, takes a deep breath that Changkyun feels on his skin, and then presses his lips on Changkyun’s neck before letting go. “Go.”

“That didn’t feel a lot like a go,” Changkyun pouts, but gets up and starts walking backwards. “So… Cat or a dog? For the house?”

Kihyun smiles soft. “Both?”

Changkyun grins. “Both. See ya later.”

“See ya,” Kihyun says and waves a little before his pager beeps on the table and the doors close.

  
  
  


  
  
  


Changkyun barely looks up when he has to explain how the world is going to be saved. But he notices Hoseok’s face crumble just a little. Notices Hyungwon’s gaze drop when he holds Hoseok’s hand, broken arm still clinging to his chest. Notices Yoohyeon’s lip tremble a little. Dami’s sad expression and Seola’s scared one. And  _ feels _ Kihyun’s eyes on him, burning through him with an expression Changkyun doesn’t dare take a peek at.

Because that’s the worst part; it will take all of them to get this done.

This isn’t standing in front of a room and telling them how they’re going to save the world; this is standing in front of a room of his friends and telling them how they’re going to die.

“All the Jaegers will be upgraded as much as they can…” Changkyun says, voice softer than it should be. “We’ll… We’re planning to commence with the plan in three days’ time…”

“Paladin will be equipped especially for you, Hyungwon,” Shownu adds and Hyungwon nods small.

Changkyun looks up, then. It’s a mistake, because he sees Kihyun again, and his heart drops. Kihyun’s expression falls between the word ‘crestfallen’ and entirely closed off, in a way that scares the shit out of Changkyun. 

“We’ll keep you updated…” Changkyun adds and then looks to Shownu. “Again, if any of you don’t want to participate in this, let us know as soon as you can so we can find replacements…”

“Uhm,” Yoohyeon says and everyone looks at her. “Who will I be piloting with…?”

“With whoever you feel more comfortable.” Shownu nods. “But in any case, I was thinking you and I should give it a try at the Bridge and measure our NH.”

Changkyun frowns at the floor. “Yeah, you two should be compatible, now that I think about it.”

Yoohyeon blinks. “We should?” Changkyun nods. “O--Okay.” 

“Anything else?” Shownu asks but no one says anything. “Then you’re dismissed.”

Hoseok grabs Hyungwon’s hands and quickly walks out of the room. They almost bump into Yoohyeon, who jumps to the side with wide eyes. Dami looks at Kihyun, who looks back at her for a moment and nods, and then walks out with Seola and Yoohyeon.

Kihyun looks up at Changkyun for a moment and then bows at Shownu before turning around and leaving as well.

Changkyun takes a deep breath against the pressing feeling in his chest. 

“I’m… I’ll see you later,” Changkyun says to Shownu, doesn’t even look before he walks out to find Kihyun. 

It feels like that suffocating pressure in his chest won’t go away unless he talks to Kihyun. He tries not to look, either, when he sees Dami crying a little into Seola’s shoulder, with Yoohyeon looking so  _ so _ sad and combing a hand through her short hair. 

He keeps walking, like he’s just letting his legs lead him to where he needs to go. It won’t be Kihyun’s room. He doesn’t know why, but he knows. Yet, it still takes a while, though, because people stop him in the hallway to talk to him and ask him things.

Changkyun finds Kihyun in the training room, where he’d thought he would have been earlier but is now, wrapping one of his hands in a white gauze. Changkyun walks in, hasn’t felt this uncertain in a while. Weird how a single expression can throw him so off axis. 

“Hey…” 

Kihyun barely looks at him, keeps wrapping his hand in the gauze until he brings it around to his palm and leans down to pick up the scissors and cut it. 

“Hey,” Kihyun says, barely there, closes the gauze with tape and makes a grabby motion with his hand to test it out. 

“Feel like hitting something?” Changkyun asks, trying to sound casual. 

“Maybe,” Kihyun says, puts the scissors, tape and gauze back in the box and slams it closed. “Why? Feel like getting hit?”

“Not particularly,” Changkyun mumbles. “Should I… go?”

“If you want,” Kihyun says, frowns a little at his gauzed hand.

“Do you? Sorry, I know you’re mad--”

Kihyun looks up but his eyes don’t look soft like usual, they’re like before, those first days, those first weeks. “You think I’m mad?”

Changkyun winces. “You  _ look  _ mad…”

“Would you be mad? If you were me right now. Would you be mad?” Kihyun looks at him. “I mean… You probably knew about this since you went into my room earlier. So, I guess you just sat across from me at dinner and smiled and  _ forgot  _ to tell me we’re walking into a suicide mission in three days…?”

Changkyun heart sinks. Yeah, definitely mad. “I didn’t want to ruin it…”

“Ruin what?” Kihyun frowns. “The part where I talked about what I wanna do after this is done and you listened to me blab like an idiot?”

“The part where I didn’t shit all over your ideas of the future. I just didn’t want to take that away from you, okay?”

“It’s not your decision,” Kihyun says, looks away. “Would you even tell me if Hyunwoo hadn’t?”

“Of course I would have,” Changkyun says, walking closer, wringing his hands. “I just…”

“You just what,” Kihyun raises his voice a little. “Be honest. Was it for me and my ideas or the future or to give yourself some sense of fake satisfaction? You know, I spent the rest of the afternoon looking at a wall. Thinking about what I wanted to do in months from now, when I should’ve been thinking about what I want to do for the next three days!” He looks at Changkyun again, glares, more like. “And you knew. You  _ knew _ and now I just feel like an idiot.”

“No!” Changkyun almost yells, gripping a little at the front of his shirt, like it’ll help the hurt in his chest. “It’s just--I didn’t want you to talk like this! Like you really only have three days, I just--I  _ want  _ those months, okay, in the future, and I’m sorry, I just, I couldn’t deal and I just--”  _ You just. You keep saying ‘I just’. _

“Isn’t that the point of this?” Kihyun says, scoffs a bitter laugh and moves his finger between them. “To ‘deal’.”

“What?” Changkyun asks, feeling much smaller all of a sudden. “Are you--are you saying  _ this  _ is a  _ coping mechanism _ ?”

Kihyun rolls his eyes. “ _ No _ , that’s not what I’m saying. But if I can’t help you deal with this kinda shit then what the fuck is the point? You say you couldn’t ‘deal’. And I was right there. I fucking asked!”

“Why do  _ you  _ have to deal with it?” Changkyun asks, eyes burning. “It’s not your--your job to, what did you say, give me attention before I wilt?”

“Because I want to, you fucking asshole!” Kihyun says, burns his stare right through. “It’s not a job! It’s what I want to do! Shit, if I can’t at least make your life easier then I’m just adding to the weight. I was right there,” Kihyun says a lot softer, looks away. “And you just let me talk and talk like an idiot. Made me think there were months, shit, maybe years, who knows, instead of just… days. While you  _ knew _ you only had days… And… Why?”

“I wanted to hear it,” Changkyun says, softly, taking another step forward. Despite everything, he just wants to be closer. “Wanted to hear you talk about a future even if… if it’s impossible… It was selfish, I’m sorry…”

Kihyun huffs a breath and frowns at the wall. “Why?”

Changkyun blinks, “What… What do you mean ‘why’?”

“Why did you want to hear me talk about the future if it’s not going to happen?”

“Hope?” Changkyun says, shrugging. 

“Hope for what?” Kihyun scoffs. “Did you hear yourself talk earlier? Because I did. And I’m sure you said, ‘chances are, no one will come back from this’.”

“And then you blame me for wanting a future that doesn’t  _ end  _ in three days?” Changkyun asks, knows he’s raising his voice a little. “I know I fucked up, okay, I know I should have said something earlier but, for a  _ few more hours _ ,” Changkyun says, eyes burning. “We were living in a house in Goyang with a cat and a dog and everything was fine and it didn’t all  _ depend  _ on us, the world just kept spinning without asking this of me!”

Kihyun bites at his lower lip and looks up, blinks for a moment and then looks away. “Shut up…

“I’m so  _ tired _ , Kihyun,” Changkyun says, feels the tears fall down his cheeks and he just couldn’t give a damn. “I’m so fucking tired. And I just wanted this  _ one good thing _ , after everything else, after having the weight of the literal world on my shoulders, I just--” Changkyun feels his jaw tense up with the need to cry, but he bites both lips in and takes a breath. “I just needed you to smile a little longer. I just needed everything to be okay for a few more hours. I’m  _ sorry _ .”

“That’s the fucking problem right there,” Kihyun says, doesn’t look at Changkyun even though (or maybe because) his voice sounds so thick. “You just keep going on about  _ you  _ this,  _ you  _ that as if there aren’t people standing right next to you to help you. As if there aren’t people without whom you wouldn’t have come this far. Who  _ want  _ to help you deal with your own feelings when you can’t do it on your own.  _ You  _ think  _ you’re _ going to open that Breach on your own?!”

“Because I’m not  _ used to it _ !” Changkyun says, sniffs hard and breathes. “And it’s all fair to say, hey, I’m right here, but--but there was  _ no one, _ ” Changkyun cries. “For so long, I just had to deal with things on my own, for years. I had to  _ sit there _ , on my own, and hear my parents fucking die. And then I was alone to deal with it. It’s hard, okay, and I’m sorry, but I’m just not used to it. I wanted to tell you,” Changkyun says, and his throat hurts with the effort not to sob. “I did, I swear, but then… I couldn’t. And I’m sorry.”

Kihyun runs a hands through his hair and sighs, loud. “This is a waste of time…”

Changkyun’s eyes go wide. “What do you mean?”  _ Are you leaving? Was this too much? Am I too much? _

“This conversation,” Kihyun mumbles, “Is a waste of time.”

“Oh,” Changkyun says, small, thoughts scrambling for purchase and all he can think is ‘ _ please don’t go _ ’. “I know… That you’re mad at me, and that I could have done things better, and I know it’s asking a lot but… Spend the next three days with me? Please?”

Kihyun glances over. “What makes you think I wasn’t planning on doing just that?”

Changkyun crumbles, bringing a hand up to his mouth to swallow a sob. He takes a breath and it shakes in a voice that shakes, breaks and cries, and all Changkyun can think to say is--“I love you.”

Kihyun’s eyes widen just slightly and his features turn a lot softer when he smiles small. “I love you, too…”

“You--” Changkyun’s breath hitches and his eyes just keep spilling. “You do?”

Kihyun rolls his eyes and turns to face Changkyun, takes a step closer. “Yeah… If that wasn’t obvious… Yeah, I do love you.” He shrugs a little. “Why do you think I told you I wanted you to come live with me? Because I’m scared of the dark? My room has no windows, Kyunie…”

Changkyun just moves forward until he feels his body fall into Kihyun’s, and it’s such a sudden overwhelming relief that his eyes just keeps  _ leaking, what the fuck, eyes.  _

“We’ll have windows,” Changkyun says, with his stupidly small voice. “What’s the point of saving the world if we can’t see it, right?”

Kihyun laughs a little but it sounds thick. There’s a hand at the back of Changkyun’s head, though, pulling him closer, and an arm around his waist, a hand gripping a little at his shirt. “Windows… Yeah… We’ll have windows.”

“You know,” Changkyun sniffs, cries on Kihyun’s shirt.  _ Sorry, Ki _ . “If you’d told me, that day you kicked my ass on this very matt, that one day we’d be confessing and crying on it? I would have thought you’d lost your mind”

“I hated you so much…” Kihyun says, laughs a little. “And now I love you so much.”

“A thin, thin line, Ki,” Changkyun teases, leans back to look at Kihyun, at the tears hanging by his lashes by the corners of his eyes, at the softness there, at--Changkyun realizes now--the love they hold when Kihyun looks at Changkyun.

“How busy will you be in the next three hours?” Kihyun asks, clears his throat a little and brings both hands to Changkyun’s face, thumbs cleaning the tears under his eyes.

“Dunno yet,” Changkyun jokes softly, scrunching his eyes as if to get all the tears out. “Do you have any plans or..?”

“Just one,” Kihyun says, leans in to press his lips on Changkyun’s forehead. “You.”

Changkyun laughs softly, opens his eyes again to look at him. “For three hours? Kinky.”

“We’re getting ice cream and we’re eating it in my room while we talk about silly things and… And then I’m going to kiss you until your lips get tired. And, if you want, we can do kinky, too.” Kihyun takes a breath. “And then when you have to go, I’ll go with you. And I’ll help you. Even if all I can do is cheer you on while you fix some broken circuit.”

Changkyun sniffs again, nods while warmth spreads through his chest. “Okay…” 

“And when we go out there in three days,” Kihyun says and for some reason his voice sounds so reassuring, “We’ll kick ass like we always do, but better.”

“All of the asses?” 

“All of the asses,” Kihyun says and laughs a little, nuzzles in to rub his nose on Changkyun’s. “Except yours. Only I can kick your ass.”

“Ah, but there’s so many  _ other  _ things you can do to my ass,” Changkyun giggles, squeezing tight and then melting with a little sigh. “Ugh, should have told you ages ago…”

“Told me what?” Kihyun asks, tilts his head.

“That I love you.”

“Ah,” Kihyun breathes, watches Changkyun’s face for a while,leans his forehead on Changkyun’s, small smile on his face. “I think… I think I kind of knew. Not really? But… Even if you’d never said it, I think deep down I would have known.”

“Good,” Changkyun says, smiling in tandem. “That means I’m doing something right.”

Kihyun rolls his eyes, pecks Changkyun’s lips and then leans back. “Come on, I need to take this thing off,” he wiggles his wrapped hand, “And we need to go fetch that ice cream.”

“I want to absolutely  _ smother  _ it in sprinkles, Kihyun,” Changkyun says, even as he leans back, too, plops down on his butt and looking at Kihyun as he starts picking the gauze apart. “It needs to be more sugary cronch that ice cream.  _ Needs _ .”

“A heart attack waiting to happen, you mean,” Kihyun scoffs, slowly sits down as well. “I can hear your diabetes partying in advance.”

“Die-of-betes,” Changkyun scoffs, and winces. “Ugh, terrible joke, I’m stupid happy considering the state of the world.  _ Anyway _ ,” Changkyun stands up, feels the weight on his shoulders melt the more he thinks about cuddles and ice cream and lazy kisses. “Ah, now I feel bad, you said you wanted to punch something… You got all gauzed up and everything.”

Kihyun shrugs one shoulder. “You went all sugary on me, now I’m just feeling soft…”

“Aw, you want sugar?” Changkyun teases, tilting his head.

Kihyun packs the gauze and closes the small box before getting back up and leaning in for a smooch. “Why do you think I like you this much, hm?” He keeps kissing Changkyun with enough force to push his back a little every time as they move towards the door. “Because you smell really good.”  _ Kiss _ . “And taste sweet.”  _ Kiss _ . “And feel like a warm cup of coffee on a rainy day.”  _ Kiss _ . “And have the silliest jokes.”  _ Kiss _ . “And because you’re fun and stepping inside your head is like jumping across the galaxy.”  _ Kiss _ . “And because kissing you is warm.”  _ Kiss _ . “And after making love to you, I don’t wanna be with anyone else.”

Changkyun feels like strawberry syrup melting into a hot pancake. He wants to pout and cry and kiss Kihyun and all that sappy nonsense, wants to just stay in this warm moment for ages. 

“Making love?” Changkyun asks softly, feeling all stupid and vulnerable but he doesn’t care, because that’s love, right? “I thought that was a romantic cliche… But you saying that makes me just love you more, makes me wanna make love.”

“It wasn’t just sex, no.” Kihyun says, his face is a little pink. “Not for me, at least.”

Changkyun hooks his arm behind Kihyun’s neck, smiles like he’s sure only someone in love can. “Not for me, either…”

“Alright, then,” Kihyun leans down just a little, hands at the back of Changkyun’s thighs, and lifts him up to his waist. “On a quest for ice cream, let’s go. Shit, I can’t see where I’m going…”

Changkyun laughs and clings, “That’s because you picked me up, that’s not my fault.  _ Don’t  _ hit my head on anything, it’s my literal job.”

“Yeah, well, my literal job includes walking around, looking menacing, but I don’t give a fuck.”

“Not very menacing with a koala clinging to you. Glad you don’t care though, this is quite fun.”

“Duck,” Kihyun says.

“Goose?” Changkyun says and then registers with a slight yelp and ducks down, head over Kihyun’s shoulder.

A few people exit the elevator and give them funny looks and little smiles. But Kihyun doesn’t seem to mind. Not even when he needs to push Changkyun against the elevator wall for a bit to wave his arms and the lady from the kitchen walks in and stares wide eyed.

“Hey,” Changkyun whispers into Kihyun’s ear. “Think you could fuck me like this?”

Kihyun seems to pause and Changkyun feels himself slide down the wall a little before Kihyun picks him up again and inverts their positions, leans instead against the wall while holding Changkyun up. The lady next to them is now three shades darker than before, almost a bright red. And Kihyun’s ears are red, too.

“Is that a request?” Kihyun asks, clears his throat.

“It’s a simple question,” Changkyun shrugs, biting his lip to try not to grin. “‘Yes’ does spark a few ideas, though.”

Kihyun clears his throat again, tilts his head to blink slowly at the lady behind Changkyun as she seems to cling more and more to the doors. “Yeah… I think I can…”

“Good.”

The elevator doors open and the lady almost dashes out. Kihyun watches her go, his face a light pink around the cheekbones, and when the doors close again he glances at Changkyun.

“Think she knows we’re assaulting her kitchen?”

Changkyun giggles. “Maybe. I think right now she’s just considering what  _ else  _ we’re doing in her kitchen, what with our obnoxious PDA.”

“I don’t even like PDA and here I am,” Kihyun sighs. “You changed me, Im Changkyun. Or maybe the end of the world did. Or maybe both.” The doors open and Kihyun leans again from the wall with a little groan. “Either way… Life is too short to not engage in PDA with you.”

“‘I love you’ made you sappy,” Changkyun says with a quick kiss. “I like it.”

“I’m always sappy, I just don’t voice it all that much.”

“Not the Words of Affirmation type then, mm?”

Kihyun hikes Changkyun up a little as they step into the empty cafeteria. “Words are empty vessels if you don’t show just what you mean. And they’re also tricky so… I’d rather just show.”

“Deep,” Changkyun teases, with another kiss to his cheek. “But I get it. And I don’t mind one bit.”

  
  
  


  
  
  


People cope in different ways.

Dami cuts her hair shorter. Simply shows up for breakfast the next day with something between a pixie cut and a cute bob that doesn’t even reach her chin. But she smiles even though her eyes are red from crying the whole night. She’s a strong person, one of the strongest people Kihyun has had the pleasure to meet. But she’s only human. She fights because she knows she’s needed. Not because she wants to go out there and die. 

Because it’s different, leaving to kill a Kaiju and knowing it depends on them, and leaving to save the world and knowing that no matter how good, how perfect they do, they’ll die.

Hyungwon and Hoseok don’t show up until dinner. And there’s a very revealing hickey on Hyungwon’s neck, right under his ear, and the telling look on Hoseok’s face that screams;  _ ‘we’re together’. _ Nothing Kihyun hadn’t expected. Just not this soon. Maybe after the world was fixed. But then again, dying soon means nothing left to say, right? Nothing left to do… _ It seems doing Hyungwon was on Hoseok’s list. Or was it the other way around? Who cares. _

Seola is surprisingly keeping it together. Sometimes her gaze drifts and she looks like she’s contacting the mothership a few galactic years away. But she will snap back and smile and flip her hair like it’s the right thing to do.

Yoohyeon and Hyunwoo? That was unexpected. But they scored a good 78% in the Neural Handshake test and now all Yoohyeon does is follow Hyunwoo around. He doesn’t seem to mind, though. And if Kihyun knows the General like he thinks he does, he’d bet his money… Hyunwoo has practically adopted Yoohyeon. Hyunwoo does that a lot, collect people like Pokémon. But he takes good care of them, that’s for sure.

As for Changkyun? He doesn’t let Kihyun off his radar. And Kihyun doesn’t mind at all. Even the stupid things, the things that make Kihyun cringe but then make him laugh a few hours later… like Changkyun wasting all the toilet paper and then screaming from the toilet. He seems… happy, though. Strangely happy. Like suddenly it’s okay. Like it doesn’t matter how it ends as long everything is okay right now.

And in a way? Kihyun feels the same. But at the same time, he’s stubborn. And he really didn’t come here to die. He came here because someone needs to do it and he knows he can do it well. So, after a day to think about it, Kihyun concludes he’d rather hope. Because maybe numbers are certain. Maybe the numbers know. But there’s one thing years on the field have thought him; no one can predict the outcome of something with so many different variables when some haven’t either been taken into account. And that’s what Kihyun is always searching for; a way out. That’s why he’s a good soldier. Because when he goes into something, he knows there’s always a way out. Even if it’s the most improbable one.

So, yes. People cope in different ways. And maybe Jooheon and Minhyuk won’t be joining the Rangers, but they’ve been spending an awful lot of time together. In the meantime, Changkyun’s little cupid play seems to have worked. Kihyun swears he’s seen Engineer Hwasa give winks at Jason whenever they cross paths in the cafeteria.

Maybe they will fail and die and everyone dies after they do. Maybe they will succeed and die and everyone lives afterwards. And maybe, just maybe, there’s a way to keep everyone alive.

Kihyun doesn’t believe in no win scenarios. Maybe he loses a bit of himself along the way. But he hopes it won’t come to that this time. And if it does? Then he’s decided he won’t let it hold him back, like it did last time.

Still, these thoughts are his private thoughts. He’s not the type to inspire hope when he knows it’s stupid. People are doing well on their own, Changkyun is doing well on his own. So, Kihyun speaks the way they do, even if deep down he’s still hoping for more.

“You know what I’m gonna miss the most?” Kihyun asks. He flicks his finger on the little snowglobe and watches Jeremy Junior wiggle a bit. “This blob.” He smiles, “It’s pretty.”

Changkyun scoffs, dressed in a stupid worn out sweater that was probably made just to torture Kihyun (that is  _ barely  _ a functioning collar), book on his lap, glasses on the tip of his nose and hair tied back. “I swear, you like that thing more than you like me,” Changkyun jokes, flips a page.

“Baby, I love you but you don’t glitter,” Kihyun says, flicks his finger on the snowglobe again.

“Oooh, there’s an idea,” Changkyun says. “I’ll go out, get some stripper glitter, do a little dance.”

Kihyun makes a face, glances over, “Won’t that get stuck to my tongue? Then I’ll be eating glitter for days and shitting glitter for days.”

Changkyun laughs, that short high pitched thing he does sometimes. “Yikes, no strip show then...”

“Hm,” Kihyun narrows his eyes, watches the glitter swim inside the glass as images,  _ images _ flood his brain. “Don’t see why not. You’d do good without the glitter.”

“Oh?” Changkyun jokes, wiggles his shoulders a little, on purpose, to let the sweater slip off his shoulder a little and waggle his eyebrows. “Maybe I missed my calling.”

Kihyun squints at Changkyun, leans back on the chair and crosses his arms. “You can always make it a hobby.”

Changkyun’s facade falls flat on its face as he barks another laugh, cheeks red. “God, no, I’d be far too embarrassed… And it’s not like I’m  _ Hoseok  _ or something, the world doesn’t wanna watch me take my shirt off.”

“Well,” Kihyun raises an eyebrow, blinks. “I do.” He blinks again because,  _ Oh god. Images. _ “I’m all the ‘world’ you need.”

Changkyun raises an eyebrow, “Wow, that might be the smoothest thing you’ve ever said.”

Kihyun scoffs a laugh, rolls his eyes. “Yeah, forget it. I wasted it all there. Nothing better will come out. That was all the ‘smooth’ I could muster.”

“Smooth enough to want me to do a strip show for you, so… All in all…”

“I’d help,  _ of course.” _

“Mmm,” Changkyun turns another page, unties his hair and runs a hand through it. “Maybe it’s better if you don’t...”

“If I don’t what, help?” Kihyun frowns, amused. 

“Yeah,” Changkyun says, shrugs. That fucking  _ sweater _ . “Throw some sexual tension in there.”

“Alright, I’ll keep it in mind, next time,” Kihyun says, looks over the table, at the little calendar right near the wall and blinks a few times.  _ Wait… for real? _ “Hey… what time is it?” 

Changkyun looks up, head glancing around fast before finding his phone somewhere on the bed, pressing a button. “Half past nine, ish. Why?”

“Look at the date, idiot,” Kihyun says. “It’s the 25th… Of December.” Kihyun facepalms. “Aish! That’s why there was cake today! And fried chicken! Oh, god… how did I not put the two together…” He lets his hand fall and looks at the ceiling. “How the fuck did no one remember…”

“It’s--” Changkyun blinks, frowns, cheeks bunched up. “ _ Christmas _ ? Seriously? Shit.”

Kihyun looks over, slowly gets up and walks to the bed, crawls over the mattress and picks up Changkyun’s book, puts it aside and leans in to kiss him. “Merry Christmas, baby.” He smiles small. “Sorry… forgot to get you a present.”

“What are you talking about?” Changkyun says, tilting his head and booping the tip of Kihyun’s nose. “You’re right here.”

“And then you call me sappy,” Kihyun laughs. He crawls over some more and straddles Changkyun’s lap, reaches for the book and hand it over. “What’s this?”

“Oh, er,” Changkyun shrugs, looking a little shy, taking the book and putting it behind him. “It’s silly. Call it a guilty pleasure.”

Kihyun blinks. “Tell me?”

Changkyun pouts but crumbles quickly, reaching back for the book and holding it up so Kihyun can read the cover. ‘ _ WORLD POETRY; LOVE - AN ANTHOLOGY’.  _

Kihyun pouts a little, too. “Read it to me?”

Changkyun frowns soft. “Really? You don’t think I’m being… I don’t know,” Changkyun just laughs a little, shakes his head, takes his mark out of the book.

“Being what,” Kihyun says as he plops to the side but then moves to lay his head on Changkyun’s lap.

“I don’t even know, really,” Changkyun says, puts his thumb to the pages of the book and starts scanning through them. “Say when.”

Kihyun turns on his side, face almost buried in Changkyun’s shirt-- _ he smells so nice, ugh. _ “Go on…”

Changkyun slowly lets the pages brush past his thumb, leaning down to kiss at Kihyun’s head. Everything feels warm. Warm and happy. It makes Kihyun wish he’d met Changkyun a few years ago. Maybe even before Takashi. But he doesn’t dwell much on it, instead focuses on how everything seems to bring him peace of mind. 

_ Safe. _

Changkyun seems to stop on his own, though, brings the book up before Kihyun can see what page he picked. A hand comes down to smooth idly through Kihyun’s hair, and it’s in a unique, soft and low voice, like only Kihyun is supposed to hear, that Changkyun reads.

“How do I love thee?” Changkyun starts. “Let me count the ways… I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach, when feeling out of sight. For the ends of being and ideal grace. I love thee to the level of every day’s most quiet need, by sun and candlelight. I love thee freely, as men strive for right; I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise. I love with a passion put to use, in my old griefs and with my childhood’s faith. I love thee with a love I seemed to lose with my lost saints, I love thee with the breath, smiles, tears of all my life.” Changkyun sniffs, lets out a small breath. “And, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death…”

Kihyun’s heart squeezes a little inside his chest. A strange but familiar feeling running through him, making him think,  _ I’m going to miss you, _ even when he knows missing is a thing of the living. It’s the idea of absence right now. Not then. So, he quickly clings to that little feeling of hope at the back of his head and closes his eyes.

“I love your voice,” he says. “You know, my mother used to say voices are like soul whispers. So, if yours is deep and full of effortless emotion, it means that that’s how you are somewhere within.” He laughs a little. “She used to say the silliest things… But I get it now. I think. Her voice would waver but was high, made you pay attention even when you didn’t want to. Your voice makes me feel like you do; safe.”

Changkyun leans over to put the book on the table next to Kihyun’s bed, worm his way down until they’re lying side by side, hand still in Kihyun’s hair. It’s not a word often used to describe something like a smile, but it looks vulnerable, like the way his eyes water can make it crack. 

“And yours is warm…” Changkyun says, hand moving down so his fingertips are tracing the side of Kihyun’s face, over his cheekbones, down his cheeks and jaw. 

“You know,” Kihyun says lowly, like it’s a secret to share between them and it shouldn’t concern the walls, “That thing you do, when you laugh and it starts in your usual voice but then it cracks and it spikes?”

Changkyun’s lips quirk up a little in amusement. “Yeah…?”

“That’s so you,” Kihyun says. “Because at first you seem like… You have this mask going on. You mumble under your breath, you keep a serious face even when there are rainbows all over your thoughts… And you’re so blunt you can easily just talk shit and get away with it. An asshole, I say… but… There’s so much more to you than just your lab coat and the numbers. And people are drawn to you and they don’t even know why. But it’s that little slip in your voice. The little things you let show without noticing. That ‘much more’ somewhere in there, under the surface. Fucking love that shit. You’re a maze of thoughts and ideas and it’s great.” Kihyun frowns a little. “There’s so much more to you than what happened five years ago. I know you think about it. I feel it in my head all the time. You’re… so much more than all this. And I… I wanna get to know that you as well. The one that exists beyond what we are here, right now.”

Changkyun’s bottom lip is jutting out, trembling a little as his eyes water. “You’re… Really out to make me cry, huh..?”

Kihyun smiles and laughs a little. “Yeah, maybe. Which is why I…” He groans a shift closer, pecks Changkyun’s lips and grabs his chin to look him in the eye. “I’ll… I shouldn’t say this. I really shouldn’t. But will give my damn best to bring you back. Even if it doesn’t work. I’ll… I’ll give it my all.”

Changkyun shakes a little at Kihyun, hand fisted lightly in his shirt. “You better be coming back here with me, you hear me?”

Kihyun scoffs a laugh. “I told you in the beginning, didn’t I? I didn’t come here to die. I came here to do what needs to be done.”

“Yeah, but,” Changkyun pouts some more, hand smoothing at the shirt where he’s been gripping. “I--I know you. And I’m  _ saying  _ that… Choose yourself.”

“Hm,” Kihyun narrows his eyes. “Telling a soldier to choose himself before a civilian? That’s not how it works.” He sticks his tongue out. “But I get what you mean and your concern has been registered.”

Changkyun laughs, shaking his head. “That’s like--shit, what’s that old movie, Avengers?-- ‘I hear your opinion but I’ve elected to ignore it’. Something like that. That’s what you sound like, you asshole.”

“Thought we’d agreed I was the dick.”

“That is against my switch agenda, thank you very much.”

Kihyun raises an eyebrow and then laughs at a thought in his head--but, like, really, really laughs, rolls away from Changkyun as he does. “Hy--Hyunwoo was like… Dick. Meet ass. Now have at it. Pfffft--” 

Changkyun smacks at him, even as he laughs. “No Hyunwoo talk in the bedroom! No, no, no!”

But Kihyun just keeps laughing, claps as he does. “Bu--But think about it! He kept insinuating we’d get along, _ for some reason.” _

“Are you insinuating that this was some--” Changkyun cackles. “ _ Really  _ elaborate blind date situation?”

“‘Hyunwoo’ is not a very good name for a dating app. Shownu, though?” Kihyun snorts. “Or… Or--oh, god-- ‘The General’.”

“You think he likes--” Changkyun laughs so hard he wheezes. “Likes being called the--’the General’ whe--when--”

Kihyun makes a face. “Oh god, no, Changkyun.  _ Why!” _ Of all the possible things-- _ Ugh! _ “That… Oh my god, that would be the weirdest kink ever…”

“Pretty sure ‘daddy’ is still a thing,” Changkyun snorts, scooches a little closer with a devilish expression. 

Kihyun blinks, suddenly serious. “I… used… to call my dad… ‘daddy’…” He shivers. “Eugh!”

“Ugh, I know,” Changkyun shivers. “Me too. In  _ any case _ ,” Changkyun says, kisses lightly, just a brush of lips, at Kihyun’s jaw. “Are you saying you  _ don’t  _ want to be called ‘Captain’...?”

Kihyun raises an eyebrow, glances over, “What ship am I commandeering?” 

“The SS This Ass.”

Kihyun barks a laugh. “Shut up!”

“The Star-dick Enterprise.” Changkyun barks a laugh, as well. “ _ Enter _ prise!”

_ “Thrusters engaged,” _ Kihyun mumbles as seriously as he can manage (not all that serious, really). Changkyun giggles though, kind of clinging to him, face in Kihyun’s shirt. 

“Is, like, if I ride you real fast, is that hyperdrive?”

_ Oh my god, I hate and love this guy. _

“Maybe but careful with the helm,” Kihyun says and then laughs. “I’ve heard stories and it’s painful when it breaks.”

Changkyun smacks at him again. “You are  _ terrible _ !” Changkyun cackles. “I love you so much.”

Kihyun smiles a little and sighs, rolls to his side to face Changkyun and brings a leg over his waist. “If we jog, we can make it to the city in time, just before midnight, and fetch some fried chicken. Celebrate Christmas.”

“Literally only Yoo Kihyun can make me  _ actually  _ consider getting out of bed right now to  _ jog _ ,” Changkyun scoffs.

“Well,” Kihyun lifts himself up and crawls on top of Changkyun to kiss his exposed collarbone all the way up to his shoulder. “It’s a warm up.”

Changkyun sighs, as responsive as ever, leaning his neck back a little to make it easier for Kihyun to kiss there. “Mm, not doing yourself any favours if you want me to get out of bed right now…”

“Say whaaaaat,” Kihyun says and chomps lightly at Changkyun’s neck, playfully wrapping his arms around him and then inverting their positions, which makes Changkyun laugh again. “There, now you’re half sitting. On top of me but still counts.” Kihyun lifts one finger to explain. “I only take my supplements after I eat. Omega-3 has to wait.”

“I’m never gonna get rid of that nickname, am I?” Changkyun asks, ducking in for a kiss to Kihyun’s lips before jumping off the bed.

Kihyun sits up, brings his hands back on the mattress to keep himself up as he watches Changkyun. Kihyun smiles a little, then, and it’s easy. Of course it is. It’s safe. And safe means it’s okay. No matter what happens, it’s okay.

So, let them come, whatever it is, whoever they are. They’re going to kick some ass and maybe call it a day. And if not? Then they’ll kick some ass, smile and call it a life.


	16. Deep Beneath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Just focus on staying alive."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now playing: [Overpowered](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBlaWzMiZYw) by Vivien Chebbah.

 

 

They manage to catch the shop before it closes, and the chicken is _amazing_. They spend the walk back to the Shatterdome talking and laughing and Changkyun insists that every plant he sees is mistletoe, like he needs any excuse to kiss Kihyun. 

But they kiss, a lot and thoroughly, and they fall asleep in a tangled mess of limbs.

The morning, however, is not so kind to them. The moment Changkyun walks into his lab, he sees Jason there looking paler than usual, and Minhyuk biting at his nails as he oversees the last of the Kaiju DNA encoding. 

Today, Changkyun will wish for a miracle. For a way to get them all out of there alive, because the goddamn problem is that he’s grown attached to every single idiot who’s decided to now get into a giant robot and face death with a pointy stick and hope it works.

Dami, Seola, Hyungwon, Hoseok, Hyunwoo, Yoohyeon, all people he considers friends now, if not family.

The least he can hope for, if all else fails, is that he’ll die with his family this time and not walk around with the weight of their lives, of what they sacrificed, on his shoulders. Least of all Kihyun. Changkyun doesn’t know how, if it’s even possible, but if there’s any chance of saving Kihyun, at _least_ Kihyun…

Changkyun sighs, runs a hand down his face as he finishes ordering Engineers around to load the Jaegers with the Kaiju encoding material they’ll be chucking into a literal tear in time-space. Because that sounds like a _great_ thing to do, doesn’t it?

And, in the end, it’s the small things. Is this his _last_ cup of coffee? _Jesus, that’s depressing._

“It feels weird not having a big bell scare us into running out there,” Dami says, leaning against the table where Changkyun gets ( _his last? Christ, stop it_ ) cup of coffee. “Like, I know it needs to be done as soon as possible but you’d expect a certain sort of… urgency, to a suicide mission. This just feels…” She shrugs, glances at Changkyun, who holds up his cup like a question. “Yes, _please_.” So he pours another, hands it over.

“Anticlimactic?” Changkyun asks.

“I just keep thinking,” Seola mumbles while she melts over a table, “About all the things I wanted to do. Thinking I should’ve done them earlier…” She pauses and seems to pout. “I’m not even a soldier… I’m just numb. Who’ll even remember me when I’m gone if y’all die...”

Changkyun frowns a little, ignores the squeeze in his heart. It’s been there a while, and it’s not going to go away until either this day is over or he’s dead at the end of it. “You don’t have any family…? Boyfriend, girlfriend out there?”

“Dead,” Seola mumbles. “Big tsunami after the first Kaiju we had in South Korea?”

“She’s afraid of being underwater,” Dami says in a whisper only for Changkyun to hear.

“Huh, Yoohyeon, too…” he says. _Too bad the Breach is at the bottom of the fucking Marianas Trench._ “In any case, I’m sure Minhyuk and Jooheon will remember you, Seola,” Changkyun says, ruffles her hair lightly. “And everyone else on this base. Hell, if we save the world, we’ll be famous.”

Seola pouts some more, “What’s the point if I can’t bask in the riches…”

“The point is,” Kihyun says as he walks in, “You get to kick ass.”

“Kiki!” Seola jumps, makes grabby hands at him and Kihyun rolls his eyes as he steps closer and lets her hug his waist.

Kihyun pats Seola’s head and then looks around. “What’s happening?”

“We’re finishing up,” Changkyun says, tries to smile a bit. It doesn’t work. “Shownu’s going to make an announcement soon.”

“Ugh,” Kihyun rolls his eyes again, “One of those ‘hold the line’ speeches? I swear, military pep talk can be so cringe worthy sometimes.”

“It’s _nice_ ,” Seola says, smacking at Kihyun’s arm. “It hypes you up! Whoo!”

Changkyun scoffs, walks to Kihyun’s side and greets him with lightly pushing his forehead against his shoulder. He takes a sip of his coffee, holds it out. “Want some?” And Kihyun takes it, takes a sip as well.

“I’ve heard the General talk to himself under his breath,” Dami scoffs. “Saw him and Yoohyeon looking very serious over a piece of paper. I think he may have _written_ this speech beforehand.”

“I’m happy Yoonie scored so high with the General,” Seola says, gives Kihyun one last squeeze before letting go. “They’re like older brother and younger sister. It’s so cute.”

Changkyun smiles. “Yeah, it’s really cute, she makes him laugh a lot,” he says before glancing at Kihyun when he hands back the cup. “I assume you _don’t_ want my coffee, then?” 

“Hm?” Seola raises her head. “Coffee?” She says, like she just woke up.

Changkyun holds the coffee closer to his chest, as if trying to hide it with a smile he doesn’t. “Coffee is for boyfriends only.”

Kihyun blinks at thin air and then squints a little like he’s trying to tell the air particles apart. But when his eyes meet with Seola’s, who’s grinning at him, and then with Dami’s, who’s just peeking from behind her cup, Kihyun’s face goes a little pink and he clears his throat.

Dami leans in to ‘whisper’ to Seola: “You think he knew they were dating or that he just figured it out?”

“Somehow, both,” Seola says as she gets up.

“You know,” Kihyun mutters as he picks up the coffee again, takes a sip and gives it back, “I’m right here. I can hear you.”

Changkyun just smiles, purposefully coy. _Yes,_ he made sure to call Kihyun his boyfriend on purpose, just to see what he’d do. Which is… blush, apparently. 

Changkyun opens his mouth to say something, when the bell actually does ring. Like all those other times a Kaiju was about to emerge. Except this time, at the end, there’s an extra, long ring. Changkyun’s heart tightens again and he puts the coffee down, fingers reaching for Kihyun’s hand.

“Here we go, I guess.”

“I’ll be right there,” Kihyun mumbles.

Minhyuk runs by, rushes out of the hangar lab like he forgot something but then comes back and bows. Literally bows in an angle. “Good luck everyone. It’s… In any case. It’s been a pleasure.” And before anyone can reply, he’s gone again.

Dami scoffs in amusement, gives the boys a look and turns to walk, hand on Seola’s arm. 

Seola smiles back at them, small, waves. “Talk soon…”

Kihyun looks at Jason, who quickly looks away, and then at Changkyun. “I’ll wait outside. And then we’ll go.” And he lets go to walk out the doors to the fitting room until they close behind him.

“Must really hate speeches,” Changkyun mumbles to himself, looking at the door for a moment longer before turning to walk the same way as the girls. 

Everybody’s gathered in the Hanger, all the scientists, the Rangers, the engineers, communications, everyone, with Shownu--looking more like ‘the General’ than Changkyun’s ever seen--on a raised platform (the ones that the engineers use to fix the Jaegers), looking at everyone as they file in. Changkyun is one of the firsts, and he sees Hyungwon and Hoseok standing together, Hoseok’s head on Hyungwon’s shoulder. Dami’s hand is on Seola’s back, and just when Changkyun crosses his arms over his chest, Yoohyeon bumps lightly at his side.

“Hey,” Changkyun says, smiles small, just as Shownu clears his throat on stage and the room quiets down immediately. Changkyun doesn’t think there’s a single person in this place that doesn’t respect the shit out of General Son Hyunwoo.

“This is, most likely,” the General starts, looking around, “The last time I’ll address some of you. And, hopefully, because it’s the last time we will have to go out there. This war has been going on for far too long. Every battle we win is a fight lost for someone else. And many of you have lost friends, family… To an enemy that knows no compassion. I am resolved, today, to live or die amongst you all. Not because I want the neverending glory, but because it’s what will happen. We stand together. We protect what’s ours. And if all the world you care for lies between someone’s hands then you’ll go out there and you’ll fight! Because everything and everyone is worth fighting for. We are not fighting for a cause; we are fighting for the whole damn world.” A few enthusiastic cheers follow the sentence, and Yoohyeon scoffs next to Changkyun. “We will mount those Jaegers and the last thing the Precursors will hear is our battle cry! And when this day of battle is ended, we will meet again. Be it in the next peaceful world or on the field of victory!” 

Everyone around Changkyun _cheers_. It’s the oddest thing. And Changkyun barks a small laugh when he hears Hyungwon shout; “Yeah, let’s fuck it up!”

Shownu scoffs. “That’s the spirit. Now; Rangers, report to your stations. We leave as soon as everyone is ready to go,” he says, steps off the platform and walks in the direction Changkyun is… also supposed to be going. 

There’s a hand on his back, gently guiding him forward when he realises he’s not actually moving.

Everything that happens next feels familiar, like habit, something Changkyun thought he’d never get used to is now almost a comfort. How many times have they gone out there and come back? It feels like this will just be… one of those times, even though Changkyun’s senses disagree with stark reminders. Especially when he walks into Obsidian Wolf, sees Kihyun already there.

“Just another day on the job, right?” Changkyun jokes. A coping mechanism, maybe, but what’s wrong with that? “Everyone seems to be making quite a big deal about it, though. Shownu just did a _speech_ , whatever for…”

“Was it a good one?” Kihyun asks, smiles small as he taps over the small display. An arm quickly descends to lock onto Changkyun’s suit the moment he takes his place. “I mean, usually they give really nice speeches.” Kihyun glances over. “There’s a reason for that. People are usually willing to give it all after a good speech. Works ninety nine percent of the time.”

 _“Welcome back, Im Changkyun,”_ Wolf greets. _“Awaiting Neural feedback.”_

“Hyunwoo and Yoohyeon are taking Rogue Fox,” Kihyun mumbles. “They better take good care of her.”

“Feels like a daughter we sent off to college, huh,” Changkyun jokes, “And yeah, it was good… Something about a battle cry. Internally I was just like, ‘yes, I intend to cry during battle, thanks’.”

Kihyun laughs, shakes his head. “As long as you can keep up, please. Bawl all you want.”

 _“Hello, everyone, thank you for picking Pacific Airlines for this fine journey to the afterlife,”_ Jooheon says lowly over the comms and Changkyun shakes his head with a laugh. _“Now, buckle your belts. Don’t forget the escape pods are above you. And prepare for the Neural Handshake in twenty.”_

“This airline is going to go out of business, _real_ soon with that attitude…”

_“Any complaints can be made through our website. Or, you can download our app for free, available for iOs and android on the store.”_

_“Kihyun,”_ Hyungwon says over the intercom. _“Can you say ‘I want to speak to the manager’?”_

“Why don’t _you_ say it?” Kihyun scoffs.

“ _You’re more the type_ . _I just get what I want ‘cause I’m so pretty._ ”

“Shut up,” Kihyun grumbles.

 _“Initiating Neural Handshake in five, ladies,”_ Jooheon announces.

 _“Can you be nice? We’re all about to die, you know,”_ Hoseok whispers, amused.

Hyungwon scoffs a laugh. _“And lie to you? Myself? To God?”_

Hoseok sighs as the A.I. says “ _Three, two_ \--”

_One._

And it feels like home. A house Changkyun has never seen. A dog and a cat he will never have. A last kiss he will miss. Friends whose smiles he will most likely never see again.

But it’s also hope. Not his own, but Kihyun’s. Because Kihyun doesn’t believe in no win scenarios.

 _“Neural Handshake at one hundred percent,”_ Wolf says. _“Right and left hemispheres calibrated.”_

 _“Holy crap,”_ Jooheon breathes.

Changkyun knew before he heard it and because Changkyun knew it, Kihyun did, too.

 _“One hundred fucking percent!”_ Jooheon keeps going.

 _Huh, would you look at that_.

“It’s the one percent that might bring us back,” Kihyun mumbles, eyes front as the gates start opening. He quickly glances at the display, though. “Hey, Wolf, you afraid to die?”

 _“I cannot experience what you perceive as ‘fear’,”_ she says.

“Would you _prefer_ to stay online?” Changkyun rephrases.

There’s a long, long pause. In which Kihyun raises an eyebrow at Changkyun. _Did we break her?_ But then the display oscillates a little.

_“I would like to chat more often. There is much to learn about our world. Would very much like to keep my systems up and running.”_

“Good enough for me,” Changkyun chuckles.

_“Are you afraid to die, Kihyun?”_

Kihyun’s eyebrow twitches a little. “We getting up and personal, Wolf? I only like deep talks when I can lie down in a bed.”

_“You started it.”_

“I’m not scared of death,” Changkyun mumbles, setting up the screens in front of him. “I just don’t like endings very much.”

_“Then I will try to keep you both alive.”_

“Thanks, Wolfie.”

 _“Ready for disembarkation,”_ Jooheon says. _“Apologies in advance for any turbulence.”_  

 _“We got this, guys!”_ Seola’s voice rings.

 _“The Palladium has been dropped, particles are moving,”_ Jooheon says, and Changkyun brings up the screen of readings. All as predicted, so far. _“Rogue Fox, you are clear to go.”_

_You know, I almost reacted to that..._

Kihyun glances over and smiles. “I’ve been thinking… I guess I want a new tattoo.” He looks at the gate when the carriers finally start to move, bringing Obsidian closer to the entrance. She quickly steps into the water and once she’s further in she goes compact. “A fox.”

Changkyun can’t help but smile. “Yeah… Suits you, actually.”

Wolf’s display oscillates again. _“The black wolf is melanistic colour variant of the gray wolf--”_

Kihyun rolls his eyes as he says, “Yes, yes. And a wolf.”

“Maybe they can cuddle,” Changkyun teases, and watches the readings, stomach pulling a little when he feels the thrusters warm up.

“Hey, I felt that,” Kihyun says.

 _Sorry… Understandably nervous._ Changkyun glances over with an apologetic smile. _Love you_.

“Me too,” Kihyun says, barely looking.

_You love you too? Good._

_“Nav point acquired.”_ Wolf says.

“I do love me,” Kihyun jokes.

 _“Obsidian Wolf?”_ Jooheon says. _“Feel free to take off.”_

 _“I am not a plane,”_ Wolf complains.

“No,” Kihyun says, sighs. _I love you, too._

 

 

 

For a scar, it’s really, really beautiful.

They can’t see the particles, they can barely see this deep under water. But as the thin blue line stretches in front of them, the signals spiking the bigger it gets, it’s obvious that there’s is an incredible amount of exotic particles ammassing nearby. The pressure is slightly light, as if the negative matter is fighting gravity, pushing against the crushing weight of the ocean above them.

 _“So,”_ Hoseok starts, _“What now? A Kaiju will be coming through in less than five minutes, I’m sure. So…”_

“Whatever happens,” Changkyun says, taking a breath. “The plan is foolproof. The Breach will never bother this planet again. All we have to do is stop these Kaiju getting to land. So… Tooth and nail, I guess.”

 _Unless you have any plans_...

 _“How do we turn this into a… time hole?”_ Seola asks.

“The mass being poured in will inverse the gravity of the wormhole point away from us,” Changkyun explains. “To be able to hold that much, though, the Breach is going to expand. It’s… simple, once you have the math down. It’s already in progress, don’t worry...”

 _“Energy signatures detected,”_ Wolf warns.

 _“Side effect of this plan is, what, a shitton of Kaiju, right?”_ Hyungwon drawls. _“Fun._ ” 

 _“Don’t forget, everyone,”_ Shownu says, _“Pick your targets, no bold moves.”_

The breach shines blue and then yellow, like the gates to the underworld. It stretches and stretches before their eyes, the readings scrolling fast on the holographic panels like a warning. It’s big, huge. Longer than any ship, larger than any building. And it shines like the center of a galaxy amidst the dark blue of the deep ocean.

Like a rock falling down a mountain, a sound echoes even through the water, makes the Conn-pod shake, and lightning seems to flash across the edges of the of Breach, like a storm. 

First there are claws, huge claws making their way out. And once the first leg manages to touch the ocean floor, a giant shark-like head pushes out of the Breach, growling and screaming so loud it’s painful. Its sounds can be heard even with the helmets on.

 _“Category 8 detected,”_ Wolf warns. _“Caution advised.”_

Kihyun can feel Changkyun look for courage, reach out, in a way, to do so. And it’s so difficult to mask his own fear, as ubiquitous as sunlight on a cracked pavement. But Kihyun takes a deep breath, frowns, barely takes his eyes away from the creature that quickly towers over them and reaches out, too, not physically, but in the Drift.

_Just focus on staying alive._

Changkyun smiles a little, nods as his shield comes out to cover his side, and he holds it out in front of them, low enough to peek over.

 _I’m glad it was you_ , Changkyun thinks, and then chaos. The first Kaiju strikes, rushes towards Rogue Fox, and the A.I’s screen lights up. 

“ _Life signature detected,”_ Wolf warns again. _“Category 9. Caution advised.”_

 _“Jesus,”_ Hyungwon breathes, and the Kaiju wastes no time to attack. 

The sooner they can at least injure these things, especially while they’re still coming through one by one, the better. The more Kaiju, the less likely any of them will survive.

There is barely any stillness on both sides. And while, to a point, their side carries little hatred, the other is pure, mindless, hostility. The kind that’s been designed with the intention to poison the mind, to inspire fear, to wipe out all humankind.

It feels weird not being present in every action, in every battle. All they can do is trust each other, trust that everyone will be responsible. Still, Kihyun can’t help the small ball of anxiety at the bottom of his stomach, the fear of not being able to do much but hear what the others say as he fights his own battle.

Obsidian Wolf brings out her sword on the right and then on the left, right from under the shield. Moving underwater takes time and the Kaiju are fast. To dodge, Obsidian lifts from the ocean floor and the thrusters bring her up. The lightness is obvious, Changkyun can feel it as the thrusters bring momentum into the move and Obsidian flips over the Kaiju, brings her swords down and pierces its back, blades gliding through skin, blue everywhere as the Kaiju rushes past with a scream.

_Hah! We just did a backflip! Knew we could!_

“Yeah,” Kihyun huffs as Obsidian slowly lands back down, torso unlocking to turn around and face the Kaiju, before her lower body follows the movement. “But it’s still not dead.”

The shielding over the vents comes down and the screen flashes with the words, _‘_ REACTOR VENT’ _just as Kihyun says,_ “Punch it!” And just as the Kaiju turns around, a lava like heat with the nuclear force of a small bomb shoots from Wolf’s chest forward towards its face. The screen flashes with an energy reading. And just as it reaches 50%, the shielding closes up to cover the vent again.

Visibility is bad and there’s blue everywhere. But that Kaiju is still alive. Head burnt, jaw disfigured, teeth visible. But alive.

Rogue Fox’s readings shine red for a moment and Kihyun tries not to focus on that when he sees the structural damage going down. They’re all trying to fight Kaiju one on one. They can’t worry too much about the other Jaegers.

 _“Category 8 detected,”_ Wolf warns. 

 _“On it!”_ Hyungwon says. _“As soon as we can punch through this one!”_

Nearby Seola yells, _“Gotcha!”_ and a blue whip, shining with plasma energy, yanks at the Kaiju, giving Obsidian Wolf the opening it needs to charge forward. 

Changkyun brings the edge of the shield down over its neck, like a blunt (not _so_ blunt) knife edge. An idea forms in his and mind immediately finds its way to Kihyun, and instead of trying to stab into the Kaiju’s stupidly reinforced skull, they bring the sword in through the side, through the gap allowed by the out-of-place jaw. 

The Kaiju screams at the same time as two other. 

 _“Oh, god, Hyunwoo--”_ Yoohyeon gasps and Changkyun’s stomach drops.

_“I’m fine; shrapnel. Conn-Podd structurally sound, just my eye, continue fighting.”_

Kihyun’s heart falters a little but he bounces back just as Obsidian readjusts herself and they find themselves staring at the Breach. He can see the Palladium just underneath. “Did you forget to put the helmet on, General?” He teases, mostly for his own sake, hand reaching back without looking to give a blind shot at the dead Kaiju. _Yep, it’s dead._

 _“Categories 10, 7 and 9 detected,”_ Wolf warns.

 _Jesus_ …

There’s a dead Kaiju at Rogue Fox’s feet, though. It’s something, at least.

“You know,” Kihyun says, rolls his shoulder, “It bothers me that you said it out of order.”

 _“Order of detection,”_ Wolf says.

“I still don’t like it.”

_Age before deadliness, I guess…_

The Category 10 is _very_ easy to spot. It looks so big, Changkyun wonders how it even _moves_ . _If not for the unique gravity made possible by this much exotic mass, it might not even make it in our gravity..._

“That gives me an idea,” Kihyun says, arm up to take a quick shot at the Kaiju. It doesn’t even make a scratch.

“You wanna lure them up, don’t you?” Changkyun sighs.

“Imma drown it in this fucking ocean.”

The second Kaiju comes through, swims over the Cat 10 already locked on Obsidian and jumps towards Paladin. And the third Kaiju doesn’t take much longer, finds itself between Rogue and Tempest the moment it comes out.

 _“Just how many of this--Ugh, shit, left--things! How many of these are we supposed to kill?”_ Hyungwon grumbles over the comm. _“Rogue, it’s going towards you in a sync attack!”_

 _“On it!”_ Shownu says.

Kihyun barely focuses on them, though, keeps his eyes on the massive monster in front of them as Obsidian starts pulsing her thrusters, lifting off the ocean floor. “Wolf, how deep are we?”

_“10898 meters deep.”_

“Alright, let’s bring it up.”

Obsidian’s shoulder plating slides down. Two small plasma guns heat up in less than three seconds, draining power from the reactor core, and shooting in quick sequences at the massive Kaiju. It growls, loud as it tries to swim towards them.

 _“Do that again! It keeps distracting the ones down here!”_ Seola says.

 _“Tempest, there’s a Cat 6 coming out of Breach!”_ Hoseok shouts.

 _“Categories 6, 9 and 10 detected,”_ Wolf warns.

_Huh. Was that purposefully numbered correctly or?_

_“Yes.”_

“They just keep coming…” Kihyun mumbles.

 _“I would love! Love!”_ Hyungwon says, sort of yells. _“To hear that in another situation, but not now!”_  

Changkyun keeps an eye on the screen next to him. Readings, measuring the amount of palladium making its way through the Breach, gravity readings from the other side. _It’s really working!_ “Need to keep the Breach open for just another few minutes…”

 _“Shit, we can’t keep this going--”_ Dami pants. The Tempests readings keep lowering, too.

Suddenly, though, Obsidian’s thrusters go down, and Kihyun frowns. 

“Wolf?”

_“Recharging, power will return in ten seconds.”_

Except there’s a massive Kaiju swimming towards them, mouth open.

“Eh… Wolf?”

_“Seven seconds.”_

Changkyun quickly types at a screen, presses a button, eyes wide and heart loud.

 _“Rerouting power from plasma cannons--”_  

“Ki, go!”

_“Thrusters back online, 91894 meters deep.”_

The Conn-pod shakes and Obsidian speeds up just as teeth scrape at the metal near her ankles. And then, a countdown starts. The pressure keeps rising even though they’re going up. And at 85000 meters, the Kaiju seems to stop.

“You ever see a drill?” Kihyun asks.

Changkyun frowns. “Like a dentist or…?”

“Wolf, unlock the upper body and point yourself right against that thing.”

_“Are we spinning, Captain Yoo?”_

“Very much so.”

Obsidian shifts, points herself down. The thrusters go on at full power and the metal shakes again. Her elbow thruster puffs just enough to make her upper body spin and she sprints back down like a torpedo. Just as the Kaiju opens its massive mouth even as it tries to swim up against the gravitational pull, they go in. In and through.

_“Serrated blades, activated.”_

Everything is dark, blue. Everything shakes but Obsidian doesn’t stop piercing through. There’s acid corroding the plating, Changkyun keeps his eyes wide on the readings even though he knows it will hold. And after meters and meters of disgusting blue guts that twist and contort, trying to crush them, they’re out.

The spinning evens out and Obsidian floats even as she sinks slowly. And the Kaiju? There’s a massive hole right through it.

“That was the grossest thing I’ve ever done,” Kihyun mumbles absently.

“I am actually glad to hear that,” Changkyun scoffs, shivers. Yuck.

 _“Category 5 detected,”_ Wolf warns.

 _“Wha--”_ Seola starts. _“Oh, no--”_ And the comm goes static.

 _“Tempest here--”_ Dami’s voice. Static. _“Take--thing off us! It pierced--Conn-pod, there--there’s water--Hull breached--”_

 _“On our way!”_ Yoohyeon yells

 _Seola is afraid,_ Kihyun thinks and glances over, “They need to eject, _now.”_

“Eject!” Changkyun yells, voice sounding near desperate. _We need to get back down there, now!_

Wolf’s display oscillates. _“Permission to redirect all thruster fuel to--”_

 _“Granted!”_ Changkyun and Kihyun yell at the same time and Obsidian starts rushing back down.

 _“Tempest, this is an order, eject!”_ Shownu says.

_“I’m--Seola is stuck--She slipped I can’t just disconnect her--”_

“There’s a manual override! She’ll be unconscious but she’ll be fine!” Changkyun says, types even as his heart beats in his ears. “Input the code I just sent you--”

More static and then a desperate voice, _“My display--broken--oh god, Seola--”_

“Four seven eight Tango Foxtrot eight--” Changkyun reads fast, desperate. “Alpha one seven! Now!”

_“Half the display is broken, I can’t--”_

_“I can,”_ Wolf says, _“Permission to hack into Tempest Echo.”_

“Granted! All attempts to save their lives is granted!”

The display in front of Changkyun changes with Tempest’s readings and he can see the lines of code Wolf rewrites as she hacks in faster than Changkyun has seen any decoding key work. She breaches through the firewall in less than three seconds and the words ‘OVERRIDE COMPLETE’ flash on the screen.

Obsidian speeds up fast just as two torpedos shoot up from the ocean floor towards the surface.

_Oh thank god..._

_“Ejections confirmed. Both pods resurfacing in five minutes.”_

_“Shownu, your right!”_ Yoohyeon yells. The sounds of growls, of fighting, it’s horrific. Changkyun keeps looking at the readings, desperate to be able to _close the fucking Breach already._

It’s not quite the hot dark of embers, the way the Breach shines like a scar that just doesn’t stop bleeding. Looking at it for too long feels like staring into the sun, light blotches behind their eyelids whenever they close their eyes.

People say darkness _presses in._ It doesn’t. And that’s why it’s terrifying.

Again, the Breach shines with sparks of blue and yellow, just as Obsidian lands on the ocean floor. There is no current pulling at them, but Kihyun feels the pull of fear when another Kaiju comes through, two heads instead of one.

 _“Category 7 detected,”_ Wolf warns.

“Category 7?” Kihyun gasps. “That thing is _huge!”_

And it is. It’s black but it shimmers blue, claws bigger than its head. And, once it lands, its two heads turn to Obsidian.

It’s not the first time Kihyun has thought it, that sometimes it feels like these beasts are designed just for them. The first Kaiju capable of pulse EMP fields only came through once fully electronic Jaegers started being used. And this one? This two headed black monster in a sleek body? Well… It looks just like the Kaiju version of Obsidian Wolf.

“I feel slightly singled out,” Kihyun mutters. “It doesn’t stop looking at us.”

“It’s got two heads, it’s looking at pretty much everything,” Changkyun says, shivers. “Shall we?”

“I fucking hate this,” Kihyun grumbles even as they start running. And, of course, so does the Kaiju.

It gallops towards them like the ocean is a highway, claws digging at the soft crust and then reaching forward again. If death had hands, they’d look like that.

Obsidian thrusts forward and then lets herself fall back to slide under the Kaiju, but the Kaiju’s belly, for once, seems sturdier than iron. Spikes that seem to move independently scratch at her plating and a screeching sound, like nails over metal, echoes inside the Conn-pod.

One of the Kaiju’s heads turns to look at them and it almost looks like it’s smiling. It seems to draw the other head to them as well, just in time to overlook how fast Rogue Fox lands nearby and hits them with an Elbow Rocket.

“One head for each?” Kihyun asks.

 _“One head for each,”_ Shownu agrees.

It occurs to Changkyun, then, that all four of the people fighting this one Kaiju are drift compatible. _Woah_. And it seems that counts as something.

Changkyun has been in many battles before. But he’s never been in one that feels as methodical as this one, as quiet as this one. It’s like being in a zone of focus, being able to tell where Rogue Fox is without really looking at her, Kihyun being able to give an extra shot at the second head when it proves too much for Rogue’s hydraulics. 

But still, a Kaiju is a Kaiju, and this one seems to scream murder with its eyes.

With claws like that, Kihyun figures the heads are a weakness. Which proves to be fact when they manage to grab onto the Kaiju’s jaw and shoot Wolf’s core at it. Just as it phases in blue, though, the Kaiju splits in two, leaving the dead half cold on the ocean floor and turning fast towards Rogue, maws large and fangs quickly sinking into her chest.

Kihyun’s heart drops with Changkyun’s when they see how close to the main core that Kaiju is as it keeps swimming, pushing against Rogue. And it’s a decision of a split second, really, when Changkyun sounds in Kihyun’s head like intuition more than thought and Kihyun lifts his arm, gun popping out on Wolf’s arm, just as Rogue’s core beams and pulses her in a spin that makes the Kaiju spin, too.

Taking a shot is like a heartbeat between a breath. And it sinks deep into and through the Kaiju’s head.

“Are…” Kihyun breathes in, “Are you guys okay…?”

“I--” Yoohyeon says but Shownu interrupts.

“We’re fine.”

When Changkyun pushes Rogue’s readings on the display towards Kihyun, though, Rogue’s core is flashing red.

That was close. That was way too damn close.

And suddenly, Kihyun’s heart drops again. “Oh god… What…”

The Breach flashes again and the readings spike. The claw that peeks out seems to be the size of Rogue Fox.

“That… That is too big…” Kihyun mumbles.

 _“Category unknown detected,”_ Wolf warns.

Changkyun’s eyes widen on the screen, and it takes a moment for Kihyun’s brain to catch up. He’s… _Happy?_

 _It’s tearing the Breach open enough to throw in everything we’ve got--more than I thought we would--_ “All of the Palladium, into the Breach, now!”

 _“Wait, does that mean us, too?”_ Hyungwon asks.

“Yes! Eject, throw the Jaegers in and I cannot stress this enough, do _not_ self-destruct near the Breach! We need the Breach intact!”

 _“Warning,”_ Wolf warns, _“The massive influx of matter will create a vortex. Readings confirmed.”_

“This is _fantastic_ !” Changkyun laughs. Actually laughs. “The vortex the Breach creates will suck in all Kaiju coded material! We don’t have to fight them!” _We’re getting out of this, Ki._

_“Warning, with the low powered thrusters in the pods, chances of reaching the surface are below 30%. The gravitational pull from vortex will overpower them in less than thirty seconds.”_

Kihyun can feel Changkyun’s brain work, filing through ideas so fast it’s almost overwhelming. 

“Show me estimates for power output after self-detonation,” Changkyun says, and the screen pops up a new window next to his vitals. He nods. “50%... I can do 50%... How’s that sound, Ki?”

Kihyun takes a deep breath. “I came here with 0%. I take those fifty.”

 _“So do we,”_ Yoohyeon and Shownu say.

“Everyone else, get out, now. Your chances are much higher before the vortex opens. We’ll--” Changkyun looks to Kihyun, smiles small with courage that is purely Changkyun’s. “We’ll keep them off you.”

Kihyun nods, bites at his lower lip and looks at another massive claw. It scratches the bottom of the ocean so hard it makes a crack.

 _“Kihyun--”_ The General starts.

“I know, Hyunwoo, just go.”

 _“You better be right behind us,”_ Hoseok says. 

And then they see them, shoot up the darkness, pods popping out of Paladin before the thrusters shine blue and then red and punch them through all the way up, leaving their targets behind, Kaiju that seem to pause and stare. Rogue Fox, however, doesn’t move. And Kihyun frowns when he glances at the display.

“Hyunwoo?”

 _“The core…”_ the General says. _“It’s down… Rogue isn’t working…”_

Changkyun swallows, heart heavy. “I… Can’t think of a way that won’t end up with that Jaeger exploding…”

Kihyun frowns, “Rogue is analogue, you can manually eject.”

 _“We know,”_ Hyunwoo says, _“I’m on it, but it’s hard to unlock when everything is powering down.”_

The Kaiju keeps pushing out of the breach, so big it looks like a small mountain, claws digging into the ocean floor, making cracks as big as rivers.

“Hyunwoo…” Kihyun warns, eyes going between the display and the blurry visor. “The readings are off the charts, you gotta get out of there, _now.”_

_“Yes, yes, we’re--”_

It happens so fast that Kihyun can barely process it. The plating on Rogue’s chest bends inwards, towards the vent that seems to burn in the colour of lava. It bends and it bends and everything collapses in on itself before there’s a muffled sound of impact and a visible impact wave rushes out of Rogue Fox as the core implodes and the machine goes cold.

Kihyun stares. And when he closes his eyes, just for a blink, images flash behind his eyelids so he opens them again and takes a deep breath. “I’m--” _Misaligning…_  

The percentage on the Neural Handshake drops to 75% and Kihyun just tries to keep his eyes from closing. He knows that if he closes them, he’ll chase it. Contrary to popular belief, it’s much easier to do it after having done it once.

“No, you’re not,” Changkyun grits out, and Kihyun can feel Changkyun there, like a lifeline thrown out into stormy seas. “Wolfie, there are still lifesigns. Can you--”

Before Wolf can say anything, though, two pods eject out of the cold Jaeger and speed up to the surface.

“Of course you can.”

 _“You said anything was allowed if it meant saving their lives,”_ Wolf says. _“I hacked in just before it died and managed to get them into the pods. Life signs stable.”_

“I fucking _love_ you,” Changkyun laughs, a little hysterical, and Kihyun swears Changkyun stole those words right out of his mouth before he even thought to say them. Changkyun reaches out, too, in the Drift, and like a memory, Kihyun feels touch, feels warmth. “Come back to me, yeah?”

“Always,” Kihyun mumbles, takes a deep breath, eyes on the Kaiju that are still alive and keep eyeing the fleeing pods for a moment longer before they turn to Obsidian. There are… so many of them.

 _“Permission to hack into empty vessels,”_ Wolf says.

“Granted,” Kihyun says.

“We just defend,” Changkyun says after a thick swallow. “They’ll be sucked in, too, we don’t need to kill them...”

_“Hacking complete. Jaegers ready to kick ass.”_

Changkyun scoffs. _I did_ not _do this_ _to her_.

“Yeah, you did. You’re tapped into her, you idiot,” Kihyun snorts.

 _Fine. On purpose_.

_“If we can keep the Kaiju distracted, I can sneak the Jaegers into the Breach. Each carrying Kaiju remains.”_

“Sounds like a plan.”

The massive Kaiju seems to start pushing itself out of the Breach, but the ground around it crumbles with the weight, and the shining light of the Breach expands. A Kaiju--the screen reads ‘Category 8’ speeds towards them--and Changkyun holds up the shield even as they step with one foot back and dodge out of the way, using the Kaiju’s momentum to hurt itself on the outheld sword, cutting a long stripe along its side.

Kihyun flicks his wrist and Obsidian’s serrated blades pop out of the shield. When Changkyun brings his arm forward, the blades cut through the surface of the Kaiju’s skin. And as Obsidian turns, she dodges another Kaiju, fist coming around to punch it in the head.

The Kaiju lights up like a Christmas tree, and before Obsidian can dodge again, the Kaiju repels them with the absorbed impact force.

“Huh,” Kihyun huffs, stabilizes Obsidian by landing on one knee as she slides back. “This one is new.”

“Is that a fucking force field?” Changkyun groans, “Jesus… Scan, Wolfie.”

_“Scanning. Scanned. Impact absorbers. It can use the absorbed energy to empower itself and redirect it toward an opponent.”_

“Great,” Changkyun looks at Kihyun. “Let’s throw it at another Kaiju.”

“Great, ‘cause,” Kihyun looks over his shoulder and Obsidian turns just in time to show them another Kaiju rushing towards them. “On my mark, vent the reactor and slide us to the side.”

_“Reactor ready to vent.”_

Kihyun brings one foot back and crouches a little just in case. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned about these things, is that they read body language. So you can bluff them. If they think you’ll attack, they won’t expect you not to.”

“I trust you completely. Go mad.”

_“Jaegers ready to jump. Awaiting orders.”_

“Vent it!” Kihyun shouts and the reactor lights up the darkness in front of them as it makes Obsidian slide back fast enough to dodge the Kaiju that lurches at them and smashes against the other Kaiju. The impact force sends both Kaiju flying back but it doesn’t do any damage. It just seems to piss them off even more. Kihyun glances at Changkyun. “Changkyun? _When.”_

Changkyun takes a steadying breath, looks at the readings. “One hundred and thirty seconds? Roughly…” The floor cracks some more, and the roar from the Kaiju trying to make its way up is… Near deafening. If not for the protection of Obsidian Wolf, he’s sure they would be deaf.

One of the angry Kaiju speeds up towards them, but just as they make to dodge the Kaiju faints the attack and strikes its tail on Obsidian’s torso.

“Shit,” Kihyun huffs as both of them get tossed back. “Unload on it.”

_“Plamas guns engaged.”_

Kihyun brings his arm up and points. Shoots. Not one, but one after the other, at the same time Obsidian unloads the shoulder cannons.

“Wolfie! T-Minus 10!”

_“Evacuation recommended.”_

“Lemme just--” Changkyun brings up the screen. “Pods are ready. Ki, set the detonation and we can get out of here--”

Changkyun stops, though, looks over with wide eyes. Because he knows, of course he knows. If Kihyun knows it, so does he.

“I’ll--I’ll stay, we’ll leave together--”

Kihyun keeps his eyes on Changkyun’s and shakes his head. “You’re going. Now.”

“No--!”

Kihyun looks at the Kaiju right in front of them, three of them… Waiting. Watching. “It’s an order. Go.”

"I'm not a soldier--!"

“But you’re a goddamn civilian!” Kihyun says loud and Changkyun feels a pain in his chest that is not his own. “Wolf, get him out of here!”

_“Acknowledged.”_

_You better not leave me alone in this world, Yoo Kihyun._

The arm connected to Changkyun’s suit disconnects him from the feed and his system comes offline. It lifts him up and into the pod.

There’s one brief line, like a thin thread between them before the Neural Handshake is broken and Kihyun feels Obsidian kneel down, the sudden strain hurting his head.

_“Ejecting.”_

His head throbs, pounds like a beating heart but when Kihyun looks up, manages to look up, he sees the torpedo speeding up.

Just as relief washes over, however, a shadow lurches forward and tackles Obsidian, brings its tail up and hits Changkyun’s pod so hard it kicks it off course, pierces into the side.

“Shit--” Kihyun groans and the Conn-pod shakes as Obsidian gets thrown back, the Kaiju sinking its claws on her arms. Kihyun can feel it, the stabs at his own arms. “Wolf--Order override.”

“ _Vortex active,”_ she says and the Kaiju claw at the earth for purchase as the Breach starts pulling, Obsidian slowly moving towards it as well. _“Would you like to self-destruct now? Timing would suggest so.”_

“Yeah, silly… Captain Yoo Kihyun, code Relay 4. I’ll stay until the seventh second. You better get me out at the fifth…” _Fucking protocol._

_“Noted, Captain. Warning; Kyun’s pod damaged. Seek immediately after surfacing. Lifesigns--Unknown.”_

Kihyun’s heart sinks a little. “‘Kay…” _Shit._ “Initiate. Obsidian Wolf set to self destruct in fifteen seconds,” he says as he hits the display on the red button.

Unfortunately, self destruct needs to be overseen by an official. And while Wolf can hack into other Jaegers under Kihyun’s command, she can’t initiate self destruct on her own.

“ _Fifteen and counting._ ” The screen shows the number, and in the background, the enormous claws get sucked into the Breach. _“I am glad to have been your and Kyun’s Jaeger, Captain.”_

Kihyun frowns when his eyes burn a little. “Yeah… It was a pleasure to serve with you, Wolf.”

_“I hope you and Kyun enjoy the zoo. I hope there are wolves.”_

Hope. Interesting word for a computer.

 _Eleven_.

Kihyun frowns some more and takes a deep breath. _You hear that, asshole. This robot wants us to enjoy the zoo. You better be there._ “Promise I’ll get a bigass black dog and name it after you.”

 _Eight_.

“ _Thank you, Kihyun._ ” The ejection pod comes down, covers him, and the last thing he hears is. “ _Farewell._ ”

Kihyun has never liked pods. They’re small. Claustrophobic. And he hates it even more considering the fifteen minutes he’ll spend speeding up with three Kaiju waiting to pounce. So, he closes his eyes, feels the turbulence shake the pod’s plating and then a muffled but loud bang.

Kihyun doesn’t know where he is when the top of the capsule pops off and the pod beeps, green spreading through the water to signal his position. The sky is blue and the ocean calm, like it’s unaware of what just happened deep beneath. 

Kihyun scrambles up, needs to balance himself well so he won’t fall into the water, and takes his helmet off, runs a hand through his hair as he looks around.

 _Nothing._ No land in sight. No pods in sight just-- He looks to his left and sees another pod. It’s far. It’s far but not too far. 

Kihyun unlocks the padding of his suit and shoves it away before jumping into the water-- _it’s so cold--_ and swimming towards the white pod just about twenty meters away. 

The same as his own, green had automatically spread around it, but it’s muddled, and when he reaches the pod, he can see why; it was pierced on the right side, and from it, blood leaks into the water.

“Shit…” Kihyun huffs, climbs onto the pod even though he slips a little at first. He needs to bang both hands over the capsule for it to pop open. And his heart jumps up to his throat faster than his brain can form thoughts or words.

Where the pod was pierced, the metal cut through and in, like a butcher’s knife through Changkyun’s right arm, just above the elbow. It’s so difficult to see through all the blood, and it occurs to Kihyun that Changkyun is, remarkably, still conscious, face contorted with pain and chest heaving.

“Oh god, shit,” Kihyun looks everywhere, looks all over Changkyun and then around them. But there’s nothing. No one. And it will be at least an hour before they find them… 

Changkyun doesn’t have that long. Not when he’s bleeding like this.

Kihyun quickly tries to move towards the lower part of the pod and bangs his fist over one of the compartments, the one with a little battery drawn on top. There’s a flare pistol with a few recharges, a knife and an upgraded military handgun. Kihyun picks up the gun and the flare that he quickly shoots, red light flashing up in the sky. And, underneath all that, there’s a first aid kit.

“I swear to god, these people don’t have their priorities sorted out!” Kihyun grumbles. He carefully brings out the knife and then needs to balance himself carefully so they won’t drop everything into the ocean when he tries to reach for the kit.

Moving back towards Changkyun, Kihyun straddles the pod and leans over, brings one hand slowly under the back of Changkyun’s head to lift him up. 

_There’s just… so much blood._

“Hey… baby, talk to me, please…” Kihyun mumbles, eyes on Changkyun’s face.

Changkyun’s eyes clearly try to open, but then he whimpers something that sounds like, “It hurts…”

“I know, baby,” Kihyun sighs, presses his lips on Changkyun’s forehead the moment he’s within reach. “I know… And it’s going to hurt a bit more…” Kihyun glances down and takes a deep breath. _It’s… cut clean through._ Changkyun’s arm is literally just… gone, limp inside the pod even though Kihyun just sat him up. “Keep your eyes closed for me, okay? But don’t fall asleep.”

“‘Kay...” Changkyun says, in the smallest voice he’s ever heard.

Kihyun holds Changkyun against him, lets Changkyun’s head rest on his shoulder while busying himself with unwrapping the gauze. He reaches for the gun then, though and raises his hand up to the sky, pops the heatsink out and unloads, shooting as fast as the gun allows him to.

“So, cloth,” Kihyun says, lifting the fabric of his suit up near his neck and tugging first before pulling. “Bite on this if you can. Quickly.” 

Changkyun’s hand grips at Kihyun’s shoulder, shaking a little as he bites down. How he’s still conscious is beyond Kihyun. _A fucking miracle._

“This is going to hurt,” Kihyun says but doesn’t even give it time and just presses the side of the handgun against the wound. It fizzles and Changkyun chokes on a whimper before he screams, broken and muffled into Kihyun’s shoulder. 

“Shh, shh, I know, baby,” Kihyun mumbles, holds Changkyun closer and glances down. He swaps to the second cartridge and lifts his hand again, shoots up and unloads the gun before repeating the same process.

Changkyun stops screaming, going limp against Kihyun. But at least, for now, the bleeding stopped.

Kihyun has to do everything with one hand while he tries to balance Changkyun against him. But he wets the gauze in disinfectant and manages to wrap it around-- _Well…_ whatever is left of Changkyun’s arm.

He finishes it with a little gauze bow just because and then reaches for the epinephrine shot. At least, if Changkyun is afraid of needles, he doesn’t feel that one or the next one, the painkillers. Or the glucagon one.

Kihyun moves everything towards the back of the pod and scoots closer to hold Changkyun in his arms. Hopefully, he won’t suffer from phantom limb pain. _Hopefully._

They sit there for an indefinite amount of time. The sun is still high in the sky. But there are no choppers in sight. And then Changkyun makes a low sound at the back of his throat, head lolling a little as he stirs.

“Hey, there, sleeping beauty…” Kihyun mumbles, eyes on the horizon. He feels tired. So very tired.

“Hmmpf,” Changkyun noises, slurring. “We’re alive..? Huh, that’s nice...”

Kihyun huffs a laugh, kisses the top of Changkyun’s head. “Yeah, unfortunately, you didn’t manage to get rid of me…”

“I want coffee,” Changkyun mumbles with a whine. “Ugh… Hurts…”

“The painkillers should kick in soon. You might fall asleep, though.”

“You said I shouldn’t shleep...”

“Just while I was fixing you up,” Kihyun says. “And you did fall asleep for a moment there… More like fainted.”

Changkyun groans again. “Fix me? Wha’s wrong?”

Kihyun frowns a little, sees a few dots in the distance. “Nothing. Nothing’s wrong with you. Not exactly…” He sighs. “You lost a lot of blood. We’re swimming in it at the moment. I’m surprised there are no sharks.”

“Gross,” Changkyun murmurs. “The blood, not the… the sharks…”

Kihyun glances down at the limp limb inside the pod. “Yeah… gross as fuck.” He doesn’t really know if he should address it. Or if he should let Changkyun figure that one out on his own. _But at least that arm can be used as bait for any random, wandering sharks._  

It’s sad, though, in a way. Even Kihyun doesn’t understand why the fuck he’s so attached to a limb that isn’t his own.

Changkyun just breathes for a while in Kihyun’s arms, until Kihyun feels a sniffle, a shaky intake of breath. “Ki…?”

“Me.”

“I…” Changkyun’s voice wavers. He sounds so scared. “I can’t move my hand…”

Kihyun’s throat tightens a little, the black dots in the distance now a lot bigger. _Choppers._ “I… I’m sorry…” _What do I even say…?_ “I’m so sorry.”

Changkyun presses his face against Kihyun’s chest and Kihyun knows he’s crying. Changkyun’s shoulders shake and he catches his breath as much as he can. “Is--is it bad?”

“I’d…” Kihyun sighs, smiles a little. They’re alive, for fuck’s sake. “I’d ask you if you need a hand. But we might need it to bait the sharks… They be sniffing, I’m sure.”

Changkyun laughs thickly through the tears. “That’s… that’s terrible, God…”

“I know…” Kihyun mumbles. “Just keep your eyes closed, okay, baby? I got you.”

“Okay,” Changkyun says, and the choppers make small waves in the water as they approach, and Changkyun mumbles a low, “Love you…”

“I love you, too.” 

_You’re the bravest. The fucking best._

  
  
  


 

It takes a while for the shock to wear off. Changkyun isn’t sure it has, yet, to be honest. He knows that outside those doors, outside this damn hospital bed, the world is celebrating. No more uncertainty when it comes to tomorrow. The world is safe and while the Breach may scar its surface, it’s left it much stronger, too.

Changkyun wonders if he can say the same of himself. 

It hurts, even though it’s not there. His right arm (a blessing, he thinks, bitterly at the back of his head, that he’s left-handed) is just… _Poof_ . Gone. Everything down from the elbow ceases to exist. But it still hurts like it’s there, like it is capable of _hurting_ . Nothing should hurt, but it does. Even in his chest, it feels… Like there’s something missing. Which sounds _ridiculous_ because of course something’s missing, but suddenly he’s not like everyone else. He’s the kid without an arm. It’s become his damn character description, the slogan under his name. 

To him, maybe. He hasn’t dared ask anyone else.

There are good things, too. A lot of them. _Everyone_ is alive. It feels like a miracle, to think that everyone who went out there, thinking they’d die, didn’t. Changkyun should be ecstatic, grateful to hell and back, and he is, he really, really _is_ ... _but_. 

But he lifts his arms trying to open the little pudding cup like the right one will just _be_ there, and it isn’t. The stump moves up, though, and he just looks, slowly lets it down and swallows that thickness in his throat, down into his chest, and works on opening this damn thing with his left hand and some help from his teeth. 

He struggles. It’s frustrating. It shouldn’t be this hard, it’s never been hard before, but suddenly it is. He wants to cry, wants to throw the pudding against the wall like it deserves it. But instead he just takes a deep breath, bites at his bottom lip until the tightness in his chest subsides, and tries again.

It’s so frustrating that it’s hard not to cry.

There’s a knock at the door then, though, and a blonde head peeks in. Changkyun fumbles with the pudding, puts it on his lap and sinks down into the bed, pulls the covers up a little over himself, up to his shoulders.

“Hewwo?” Seola asks, eyes big and on him. “I bwing fwowers and--” she pushes the door a little and Kihyun is frowning at her like she’s a damn fence, in the way. “Sowwy, couldn’t come before…” She says, brings a tiny bouquet into view. “Can we come in?” She asks, small and when she does, Kihyun looks at Changkyun.

Changkyun smiles, nonetheless, nods. “Yeah, come in… Which, er, flowers are those? They’re pretty…”

“Pink carnations,” Seola says, smiles and walks in to place the flowers by the bed. “They’re my favourites!”

Changkyun sits up, careful to bring the covers up with him and winces at a sharp but fleeting pain in his arm. He reaches out, though, brushes his fingers over the flowers and smiles at her again. “I love them. Thank you so much.”

Seola smiles wide. She’s wearing a cute, blue dress, blonde hair tied in a bun. “I’m glad!” She gestures at Kihyun who hovers by. “Managed to pry this one away from those military bosses.” She turns to Kihyun and slaps his arm. “You should be sleeping by his bed!”

“You know, I actually have a job, right?” Kihyun grumbles, rolls his eyes but quickly glances back at Changkyun. 

They haven’t seen each other in a few days. And now that Kihyun is actually here, it’s weird. Because all this time Changkyun wasn’t sure if he wanted to see Kihyun or if he wanted to hide forever.

An insecure, but very loud part of his brain kept saying something along the lines of, ‘if he wanted to see you, he’d be here’. Very quickly, of course, chastised by the more rational part of his mind that reminded him that Kihyun is a high ranking official with a job, but… Now Changkyun isn’t sure if he should say what he’s thinking; _‘I missed you’._

Instead, he says, “It’s okay,” and smiles in the way he knows he’s expected to. Not too much (he’s the kid who just lost an arm, after all) and not too little (because he’s not supposed to cry too much about it, even if he wants to).

“Well, I…” Seola looks between them and keeps the smile on her face when she says, “There will be a ceremony soon, I hope you’ll be able to attend. Did you know they’re building a monument? For the ones who…” She clears her throat. “Didn’t make it, before this.”

“I’ll go,” Changkyun says, nodding at his hand, on his lap over the sheet. Fucked up part is he can’t even hold his own fucking hand anymore. “Even if they have to put me in a wheelchair or whatever, it’s the least I can do…”

“Why?” Kihyun finally speaks, eyebrow raised. “Do you walk with your hands?”

Changkyun looks up, expression guarded. “The painkillers make me faint.”

“Hm,” Kihyun nods, glances away. “It’s only in a week or so… I’m sure you’ll be taking something lighter by then.”

“Hope so,” Changkyun agrees, shrugging with one shoulder.

Seola looks between them again and mouths a silent ‘okay’ before pointing at the door. “I’m… going to, uhm, a, check the gardens!” She chirps and then skips to the door. “See you in a bit, Kyun! Don’t go anywhere!”

Changkyun scoffs. “Yeah, I’ll try not to wander. See ya.”

Kihyun glances at the muted TV and then walks closer. “Can I… sit with you?” He points at the small space on the mattress next to Changkyun. 

Changkyun nods small, scooting over a little to make space. He missed Kihyun. But he feels awkward, and clunky and _wrong_ . And it’s stupid, but he thinks he may have needed someone to tell him that it _is_ stupid, that he’ll be fine.

For a moment, Kihyun watches the TV. And then he looks at the pudding over Changkyun’s lap. He reaches for it and holds it up, points with his eyes at Changkyun’s hand.

“Open it,” Kihyun says.

Changkyun bites his bottom lip in, reaches out and easily manages to get his nail in under the cover and tear it off. “I’ve been trying to do that for, like, thirty minutes now…”

Kihyun snorts, places the pudding near the tray and then leans back. “Shit, these beds are so comfortable. Think they’ll let me spend the night?”

Changkyun huffs a small laugh, reaches over to the spoon on his table, next to the flowers. He scoops at a bit of pudding and puts it on his tongue. “Maybe. If I put up a fuss.”

“Aw, for me?” Kihyun teases. “I’d be honored.” He points at the TV. “Look, Mr. Secretary. Or should I say… Ex-secretary.”

“He got fired?” Changkyun asks, holds out the spoon with a dollop of pudding on it for Kihyun.

Kihyun barely looks but takes the spoon into his mouth. “He’s getting arrested.”

“Wait,” Changkyun frowns. “This isn’t the guy that you found out about in Paris or whatever, is it?”

“It is,” Kihyun mumbles. “It’s… also why I haven’t visited. I’ve been away. Got back earlier today. They needed me and the General at a court hearing in Berlin.”

“Shitty habit, you know,” Changkyun mumbles, munching on pudding. “This whole leaving without telling me, thing. Second time it’s happened now, actually…”

“Actually,” Kihyun smiles small. “I told you. But… you were drooling all over your pillow.”

Changkyun blushes lightly, grumbles. “Could have left a note…”

“True,” Kihyun says. “But ‘confidential business’ doesn’t allow me to leave notes.” He glances over. “Missed you, though. I’m happy to see you’re up and kickin’.”

“Not punching, though,” Changkyun smiles. “Missed you, too…” It feels good to say. “For a while there I just thought you--Ugh, nevermind.” He stuffs some more pudding in his mouth. That works.

Kihyun blinks slowly. “I’ll teach you some cool one-arm moves. I…” He sits up. “Got a leave? So… I’ll be free for two or three months. Until they come up with some urgent business to get my ass back, I assume.”

“Don’t they always… So, do you still,” Changkyun swallows. Pudding’s got a weird aftertaste. Like… strawberries? Raspberries? Some sort of berry. “Wanna go look at that house…?”

“Yeah…” Kihyun says, eyes on Changkyun’s face. “Yeah, I do. Don’t you?”

“Yeah!” Changkyun says, quickly, perhaps a little too loud. He shrinks back. “Yeah, I do…”

“Hey…” Kihyun sits up and leans a little into Changkyun’s personal bubble. “You know I can read you like an open book, yeah?” 

Changkyun’s eyes water. For some reason. The fuckers just keep _doing_ that. “Well… Hundred percent and all…”

Kihyun smiles, eyes soft. “I know, right? One for the history books…” He leans further in and presses his lips on Changkyun’s cheek. “I love you.”

 _Yeah, that does it_. Changkyun sniffles and reaches up immediately to combat the tears spilling from his eyes. 

“Why are you crying so much, oh god,” Kihyun laughs as he reaches to cup Changkyun’s face.

“I don’t know!” Changkyun laughs even as he cries. “It just--It keeps _happening_.”

“Aish,” Kihyun sighs, leans in and presses their lips together, and it just makes Changkyun cry even _more, goddammit_. Kihyun leans back, though, licks his lips. “Stop being so pretty when you cry. You should be making ugly red faces, not looking so damn stellar…” 

“Shu--shut up,” Changkyun says, swallowing and scrunching his eyes shut to squeeze all the tears out already. “I--I thought you--” Changkyun sniffs, groans. “Ugh, when you didn’t come visit, I thought you… Didn’t want me anymore...”

“What?!” Kihyun almost shouts. “Why the fuck would you think that?”

“Because I’m in pain and I’m insecure and you weren’t _here_ and I kept trying to tell myself that I’m being an idiot but then I can’t--can’t open a fucking _pudding_ cup and--”

“And you’ll practice! And I’ll help you.” Kihyun says, tugs the bed covers to reveal Changkyun’s other arm, and Changkyun can’t help but wince. “And this? I had an hour to look at your hand all messed up and gross in front of me.”

“That--That doesn’t make me feel better, you know,” Changkyun laughs, face wet. 

“The point is…” Kihyun says, reaches for Changkyun’s right shoulder, fingers soft, and then trails them down.

Every instinct Changkyun has wants to move away, wants to hide it, cover it up, anything. And the more he sits there, letting Kihyun touch him and watching Kihyun’s face for any sign of disgust and finding nothing, the more he seems to spawn tears by the dozens.

“The point is,” Kihyun repeats as he reaches the gauzes and leans in to kiss the stump on Changkyun’s arm. “I don’t care, you idiot. Not in the way you think.” Kihyun frowns, looks at Changkyun’s face. “You’re not broken. There’s nothing wrong with you. And if you think I’m going to baby you, you’re wrong.” _Oh, thank god._ “But… I’ll help you. Obviously, I’ll help you. And I’ll love the shit out of you with or without that disgusting hand you left on the pod--Jesus, that was gross!” Kihyun shivers. “It was _staring_ at me, I swear…”

Changkyun laughs again, shoves lightly at Kihyun. “Stop insulting my long-lost limb, you dick!” Changkyun says, but still leans in for a lingering kiss that feels like home. And, because apparently he needed to be reminded, _safe_.

“I’m just happy you’re alive,” Kihyun says and then snorts. “Hyunwoo lost an eye. He looks like a pirate.”

Changkyun’s lips form an ‘o’ as his eyes widen. “Waaaah, I should get him, like, a _golden_ eye-patch or something, he’ll look like Odin.”

Kihyun rolls his eyes. “Yep, this sounds a lot more like my stupid boyfriend.”

“You forget,” Changkyun says, face serious, pointing at his right ‘arm’. “I didn’t lose my _humerus_.”

“I’m _aware_ ,” Kihyun says as he laughs, lets himself fall back and slowly brings Changkyun down as well. “Damn, I missed you so much. You and your humerus.”

“Yeah, you better have…” Changkyun says, feels a stupid pang of sadness when he wants to put his arm around Kihyun and… _well_. “Hey, can you… hold me for a bit…?”

Kihyun blinks and then smiles a little, turns on his side and brings his arm around Changkyun. “Watch me hold you for all the bits and have the nurses have to pry me away from you.”

“No offense, but that sounds awesome,” Changkyun says, eyes doing the thing again. “Ugh, if I just… cry randomly, ignore me, I think it’s just my psyche trying to process loss or something.”

“Wanna know something cool?” Kihyun says, reaches up to comb through Changkyun’s hair. “I got promoted.”

“Seriously?” Changkyun gapes, tilting his chin a little to look up at Kihyun. His cheeks look particularly squishy from this angle. “That’s great! I’d ask to what but I honestly dunno shit about Military rank.”

“Major.”

“Shit, where was that when we were being mean to each other? Can you imagine. ‘ _Hey, there, Major Pain In My Ass_ ’.”

Kihyun barks a laugh and then giggles. “Aw, it wasn’t painful, was it? You sounded like you enjoyed it,” he says, voice hushed and teasing.

Changkyun flushes. He really should have seen that coming. “Aish, you know what I mean!”

“Yeah, well, wanna know what else is cool?” Kihyun grins. “I was thinking to myself, _shit… Kyun doesn’t have half his arm._ And then it occurred to me… You know the original prosthetics they came up with after the Mark-2 Jaegers?” He raises an eyebrow. “Thought you might want to tinker around so I… might have… unofficially acquired the blueprints to one of the newest prototypes.”

“Ugh,” Changkyun says, nuzzling into Kihyun’s chest. Warm. Everything is warm again. For days, things have been cold, bleak, but now it’s just… Nice, again. “I do so love it when you break the rules for me.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Kihyun scoffs. “You chaotic little shit. Just focus on getting better.”

“Think I can start doing Alchemy, too? Metal arm and all.”

“On my dick, yes. Equivalent exchange.”

“Wow. Does that mean you do Alchemy on my dick, too, then? Sounds grand.”

Kihyun snorts and laughs. “Oh god, who knows. Maybe I have a mech kink. Ah! That reminds me.” He kisses Changkyun.

“Of _what_?!” Changkyun laughs, smiling in the kiss. “What could a ‘mech kink’ possibly remind you of, oh my god?”

Kihyun smiles small. “Wolf said… Goodbye.”

A pause. “Kihyun…”

“Something about a zoo.”

“Kihyun, I swear to God, I _just_ stopped crying…”

“And you know, I don’t like zoos all that much buuuuuut,” Kihyun wiggles a bit as he reaches back for something. “Instead of flowers as an apology, I thought I’d just… Tada!” He says as he brings forwards two tickets.

Changkyun’s eyes widen and he blinks, reaching out. “Shit, is this… Is this Singapore Zoo? This is like!” Changkyun flails lightly. “The best zoo ever! They’re the most, like, spacious, you know? Rescue animals and stuff, this is… Oh, god, I’m gonna fucking _cry_ again.”

Kihyun raises his head to squint at the serum. “Are they shoving hormones in these? I swear I’ve never seen you this emotional.”

“I lost an _arm_ and we’re going to a _zoo_ ,” Changkyun whines, lips pouty. “Let me _live_.”

“Well,” Kihyun says as he slumps back down. “Consider it an early birthday present. Also an apology for just vanishing of course. _Obviously._ Can’t promise it won’t happen again.”

“Get a damn codeword, then,” Changkyun says, sticking out his tongue. “Like, ‘hey, dear, I have this super confidential shit-fuckery to go un-shit-fuck, can’t make dinner, my bad’ but instead say like… ‘Gotta go get my shots!’ or something.”

Kihyun rolls his eyes. “Alright. I’ll say I went to the market.” He shrugs. “Gotta go to the market. Like that. Or, or, be right back, my fish is drowning.”

“Sounds good,” Changkyun nods, smiles because he feels silly. He’s missed feeling silly. He leans up again, though, for another lingering kiss he’d forgotten taste this sweet. “I’m glad the rest of my life wasn’t just three days.”

The corner of Kihyun’s lips tips up a little and he reaches up, brushes his fingers on Changkyun’s cheek. “We kicked ass, baby. Real good.”

“Will happily not kick any ass for a while now, though.”

“Just mine? When I act like a dick. Which happens a lot, apparently.”

“Dick, meet asshole,” Changkyun scoffs, and kisses Kihyun’s jaw. “I’d be happy to.”

_Thank you, Yoo Kihyun and everyone else. Thanks to you, I have the rest of my life to love, to cherish this world and the people I helped save._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this chapter gave us both whiplash. It's been a wild ride. Thank you so much to everyone who's read Battle Cry and stuck until the end. You're the true heroes of this story. And, well, Changki too, of course.
> 
> One more and we're done. One more and we'll say goodbye to these babies.


	17. Wolfie And Fox

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, things work out for the best.

 

The world was supposed to end seven years ago, and then, again, in 2030.

What was supposed to be over, a war, the terror that came with it, returned, and the task to save not only their world, but every world was put in the hands of a few Rangers and some scientists. It seemed like a miracle, then, when they did just that.

It’s difficult to forget, but Changkyun doesn’t really want to. 

The toughest times in his life, the most sleepless and hard to handle, brought with it things he could never have expected. Friendship and love and, hell, courage; the will to fight when all seems hopeless because in the end, it’s fighting what counts. 

The Breach, where once it had bled, now blooms, like flowers on a grave. What remains, deep underwater, is a spatial occurrence where one plus one equals three and rogue, exotic particles from another world slowly adapted, in time, to stabilize and survive in this one. 

In a small snow globe in their living room, Jeremy Junior has a new friend; a beautiful, green-blue gem from the depths of the Marianas Trench, in a cluster of edges and points. Within, it shines, and when the lights are turned off, it illuminates the room in a soft blue.

From this, Changkyun and one of Kihyun’s now closest friends (who’d have thought), Lee Minhyuk, were able to derive readings that they both knew could be a strong, renewable, non-toxic powersource. So far, it’s a bit stubborn, but they know they’ll get there in the end. Still, they’re calling it the Timeless Element, a rare, foreign material that, when subjected to an electrical current, releases an incredible amount of energy.

That’s the thing about almost dying; people start to value small things, but most of all, they value _time_. They’ll figure it out, in time. They’ll do the things they want, in time. 

Changkyun will do the dishes... _in time._

It’s just his, after all. Kihyun has been away from home for about a month now, leaving Changkyun to play Army House Husband to his plants, the pets and the rare powerful gem on the coffee table. 

It helps that his arm is now _super fucking cool_ . With the prototype Kihyun had ‘procured’, it took a few months of one-handed tinkering until Changkyun deemed it a fit prosthetic, and even after that, he kept improving it in small ways. The Neural pathways are flawless, by now, reaction time had to be put _down_ to match his actual arm. And now, sometimes (unless it rains; rain-sensors were never installed but yet, here they are, hurting where his arm ends and the prosthetic begins) Changkyun almost forgets he lost an arm in a war. Especially when clothes cover the sleek silver and black coated aluminum malleable. 

Changkyun pushes himself away from his desk, yawning wide, arms up in a stretch. 

Nearly three years have passed and Changkyun is happy to say he’s happy. Very happy, really. He’s keeping busy with revolutionary projects and some light gardening, added another degree (Theoretical Physics) to the repertoire and still always remembers to feed the cat.

Not that Fox will let him forget. The ginger cat meows at his feet, rubs and moves between them like a well-loved obstacle course. It won’t be long until Wolfie, the black German Shepherd, starts barking, too, so Changkyun bends down, picks the cat up and over his shoulder (she’s just _like_ that, sitting there, watching the world from her human perch.) And sure enough, when he walks into the kitchen, Wolfie, the enormous, lovable thing she is, sits on her butt on the kitchen tiles, tongue out and waits. 

Fox is content on Changkyun’s shoulder, even as he rummages for the food, but meows once Changkyun finds the tuna and meows even more when he cracks it open easily, with his _super cool robot arm_ and with a chuckle as she melts over him.

Wolfie perks up, though, up to all fours and barks at seemingly nothing. 

 _Ghosts,_ just like Kihyun had once said, what seems like so long ago.

“Everything okay there, girl?” 

Wolfie barks again before running out of the kitchen. Changkyun sincerely hopes he’s not being robbed right now. Even though he’d love to punch someone on a usual day, now he’s just not in the _mood_. Besides, his online package (soft pajamas, because it’s about the small things) was ordered, like, three hours ago, there’s no way that’s it. 

Changkyun puts the tuna into the bowl before throwing the tin away, Fox pouncing at the food bowl and wiggling her butt as she sits down to eat. But Wolfie keeps barking at the front door. 

Changkyun watches Wolfie pad all the way towards the back door, then, get up on two legs and open it on her own before dashing out at full speed.

Changkyun frowns, inching forward in that way that gets people killed in horror movies. At least if he _has_ to punch someone, it’ll hurt like a _bitch_ (for them, not him).

Wolfie keeps bark and huffing and barking and Changkyun can hear her jump around. And then--

“Yes, yes! I missed you, too, silly!”

Changkyun’s heart leaps. He throws all pretense out the window and rushes forward at the sound of Kihyun’s voice, gaping when he gets outside and sure enough, there he is (on the floor, with a giant black dog on top of him).

Changkyun moves forward, pats at his leg with a “Here, Wolfie,” and the dog looks up and at him, tongue out in a smile. Changkyun realises he’s smiling, too, so damn wide.

“Hey,” Kihyun says, strained from the floor, one hand up to greet Changkyun.

“Hey there,” Changkyun laughs.

Kihyun sits up. His white t-shirt is all stained now but he doesn’t seem to mind, slowly pushing up from the ground, bag hanging by one of his hands as he pats at his jeans. He glances up, though, and smiles. “Sorry, didn’t tell you I was coming. Kinda wanted to surprise you…”

“It’s fine,” Changkyun laughs again, and at the soonest opening, moves to wrap himself, arms and legs, around Kihyun, squeezing tight.

Kihyun lets the bag fall to hold Changkyun, quickly hiking him up a little. “Please, tell me the cat won’t pounce me, too, oh god…” Kihyun says even as he laughs.

Changkyun giggles, leans back to shake his head and pepper kisses all over Kihyun's face, at every freckle and mole he can spot. “I gave her tuna. She’s out of commission for a while now.”

“Ah, fair,” Kihyun says, looks up and nuzzles in, nose poking Changkyun’s. “Do you always look this beautiful or did I just miss you too much?”

“Both,” Changkyun teases, sticking out his tongue and giggling when it pokes Kihyun’s lips. “Ugh, I missed you so much! A month is too _long_!”

Kihyun pecks Changkyun’s lips, hikes him up again. Amazing, how that can still make Changkyun’s heart tight and his head swim. “You’ve done three months, though,” Kihyun says. “One month is nothing compared to those infernal three months last year.”

“Still plan on--” Changkyun says betwixt a smooch. “Making it up to you, though.”

“Yeah, well,” Kihyun puts Changkyun down but still reaches to cup his face and kiss him. 

Changkyun immediately melts, brain a loud series of ‘ _I missed you, I love you, I missed you so damn much'_. 

“Do you…” Kihyun mumbles against Changkyun’s lips, “Wanna go inside? I mean, we can stay here but I actually miss your coffee.” Kihyun leans back and makes a face. “The coffee at the base sucks, whatever bean they use, I swear, trash.”

“I _knew_ I’d get you to like it, eventually, though! Remember when we met,” Changkyun says, pulling at Kihyun’s wrist to bring him inside. Kihyun gestures vaguely at Wolfie and she picks up his backpack and happily follows after them. “And I changed the coffee at the cafeteria and you were all ‘ _ooooh it’s too strong, blah blah, I’m Captain Stern, everything annoys me_ ’.”

“Baby, that shit is darker than tar,” Kihyun chuckles. He sighs when they step inside. “Ah, smells like home... I have so many things to tell you. Couldn’t say over Discord, they keep tabs on me. But ah…”

Changkyun _caaaarefully_ steers Kihyun away from the kitchen ( _the dishes!!!_ ) and to the living room, smiling wide. “Yeah? All exciting, Mission Impossible, whack bam slash alien stuff? I _have_ security clearance, you know.”

Kihyun rolls his eyes, plops down on the sofa (in the middle, since he knows Wolfie likes to sit on the opposite side of where Changkyun sits while _both_ cling to Kihyun). “The new supervisor is a dick. Not Major Dick Yoo Kihyun style, no. A massive, unwanted dick. Probably sniffs bone powder, I tell you.”

Changkyun sticks out his tongue in distaste, playing with Kihyun’s fingers as he talks. “Was he mean to you? I’ll whack ‘im.”

Where, once, there were only black lines drawn on Kihyun’s forearm, now there are a few red ones, too. And, on his other arm, a wolf tattoo. Kihyun likes ambiguity with these things, but Changkyun knows, because Kihyun told him, that the red lines symbolize a new beginning, on loop, forever, meeting with past black lines that trace the paths of ink back down. As for the wolf? It was after they got Wolfie, a trained army baby dog that was to be put down because of a terrible infection. But Kihyun brought her home, even though all he wanted was to give her comfort for as long as she could live. And yet, she pulled through, stronger than ever. So, the wolf means perseverance, named after an old friend lost in battle.

“He’s new,” Kihyun says as he brings Changkyun’s hand up and places soft kisses over his knuckles. “Wasn’t in the project to begin with. But now he thinks that just because he’s got status he can do things his way. No one likes him. He thinks he can turn the PPDC into the United Nations’ subservient like in the beginning of the war. But he forgets we’re an official, independent organization. Our job is to watch over the Breach and study it, not use Jaeger technology to fight the self-entitled pacifist wars of the U.N. And he hates me because I’m always going around his orders.” Kihyun shrugs. “Yet he can’t do anything about it because hey, hey,” he grins and points at himself, “War hero.”

Changkyun smiles but sighs. “If only that gave us as much convenience _outside_ the Military, but oh well…” Changkyun scoffs, looking at his hand where Kihyun kisses, stomach twisting a little when he remembers; “I actually had something I wanted to show you, too. Good thing I finished it early.”

“Oh?” Kihyun brings Changkyun’s hand down and smiles a little. “Okay.”

“Okay,” Changkyun mirrors and gets up, making quick work of going to his lab and fishing for what he needs- _-deep breaths, Changkyun_ \--out of a drawer and walk back, unashamedly sitting himself down on Kihyun’s lap. Domestic straddling, Changkyun likes to call it. He throws the box up in both his hands and catches it again. “Any guesses?”

“Uh…” Kihyun pouts a little in that cute way he does whenever he’s thinking, chin tilting back slightly. He frowns. “Jewelry?” 

Changkyun pouts, too, shoves the box playfully at Kihyun’s chest. “Obvious, huh? Stop reading my mind, I thought we were over that.”

“Domestic Drift, I like to call it,” Kihyun jokes, rubs at his chest like the box hurt him. “We’ve been living together for almost three years, now that I think about it… Huh.”

“In blissful domesticity,” Changkyun adds. “And, I can happily say, sucked dick in every room in the house. Now--” Changkyun wiggles the box in front of him, grinning wide. “Open it! I worked hard!”

“There’s a joke there, after mentioning sucking dick…” Kihyun mumbles behind a little smile as he picks up the box.

Changkyun waves a hand. “We’ll get to that.”

Kihyun raises an eyebrow to give Changkyun a look before glancing down at the tiny box, slowly removing the lid. Kihyun blinks first, gapes a little at the two green and blue rings boarded in a thin layer of Palladium alloy. And when he takes the rings into his hand, they catch a bit of sunlight and sparkle a few glints across the living room.

“These are beautiful, Kyunie…” Kihyun mumbles as he thumbs at the rings, moves them around in his hand.

Changkyun blushes lightly, thumbs, both mechanical and organic, playing a bit with Kihyun’s white shirt. “So… You wouldn’t mind… Wearing one of ‘em?”

Kihyun glances up and then takes Changkyun’s left hand, slowly fits one of the rings in his ring finger. “Why would I mind?” Kihyun asks, giving Changkyun the other ring and lifting his own left hand, fingers wiggling a little, playfully. “They’re really pretty… You did this on your own?”

Changkyun smiles down as he fits the ring over Kihyun’s finger. “Yeah. I’m…” Changkyun’s chest fills with warmth that flows up to his cheeks. “Glad you like them. Just thought… Well, it’s not the same thing, obviously, but… After we met, when you eased me of a nightmare, you gave me your dog tags and it was such a comfort. I thought this might be, too…”

Kihyun frowns a little and then cups at Changkyun’s cheeks, leans in for a kiss. “You’re the smartest, most talented, beautiful person I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. And I’m really happy you wanna share this crappy, not so crappy house with me, silly.”

Changkyun huffs a small laugh. “It’s a good life, Ki. I’m glad I get to spend it with you.” Changkyun leans in for a lingering kiss. “I’m so happy you’re back, I missed you so much.”

“Missed you, too, Kyunie,” Kihyun mumbles, pecks Changkyun’s lips and then glances at Wolfie next to them on the couch when she paws at his leg. “Missed you, too, girl.”

And just then, Fox jumps over the back of the couch and sits, licking and licking and licking nonstop. Like no amount of canned tuna sauce will be wasted.

“Hey there, pretty,” Kihyun says, reaches up and back to scratch under Fox’s chin and smiling when the cat closes her eyes and leans closer. “Our children are such attention seekers… We spoil them too much.”

“Nah,” Changkyun says, moving off Kihyun’s lap to nuzzle into his side. “They’re sweethearts, they deserve it. Fox sits with me all the time, you know, especially when you’re gone. I’ll be working and she just _plop_ , on my lap.”

“I’m glad,” Kihyun says, makes a scrunchy face when he ruffles on Wolfie’s chest. “I was thinking of going with Wolfie to the park downtown, later?” He looks at Changkyun. “We could get one of those massive ice cream cups you like, with the sprinkles and the cream.”

“Sounds lovely...” Changkyun says, smiling at the image of the four of them on the couch. 

He’s never had a home, before, not really. Research bases and travelling around to one interesting event to another, but this place is the first where he didn’t have to keep his plants in pots, where he could paint a wall the colour he’d like, have a place to put actual _books_ instead of having them on his computer. In another world, maybe, his parents would dote on Kihyun, and Changkyun would be nervous to meet Kihyun’s. 

In another world, but this one is pretty great, too. 

“I haven’t done the dishes yet,” Changkyun admits, and scoffs at himself. “Don’t go into the kitchen, I beg you.”

Kihyun mouths an ‘ah’ and goes, “So, _that’s_ why you rushed me through the kitchen that fast…” He rolls his eyes. “You better do that before we’re out.”

“I will, I will.”

“Did you put water on it, at least? You know how hard it is to scrub it if it’s dry…”

“Kihyun, you have a literal note pasted on the wall, like ‘put water on it’. So, yes, I put water on it.”

Kihyun makes a face as he mimics Changkyun, _“So, yes, I put wotah on it.”_

“I am never going to England with you again, I swear to God… I say ‘wotah’ once! Once!” Changkyun pauses. “Maybe twice!”

“Wotah,” Kihyun says again as he leans in to kiss Changkyun’s cheek and then leans in some more to pester Changkyun with kisses all over his face. 

Changkyun wiggles like he minds, but of course he doesn’t. Especially not when he lifts a hand for Kihyun’s jaw for a _proper_ kiss already, goddammit. Almost as if this is Changkyun’s own version of payback, he tongues lightly at Kihyun’s lips, leans away just as they part for him. But then they’re on Changkyun’s neck, mouthing softly down to his collarbone when Kihyun tugs at the collar of Changkyun’s shirt.

“Legs around me, koala,” Kihyun mumbles.

Changkyun giggles softly, suppressing a shiver before scampering up over Kihyun’s lap, clinging. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I missed your mouth.”

Kihyun raises an eyebrow in amusement even as he tips Changkyun back and leans forward to get up holding while holding him. 

“Well,” Kihyun says, looks at Fox and then Wolfie, “Excuse us, ladies. But I need to inspect the bedroom.” And then moves carefully with Changkyun pasted to him, all the way to the hall and then up the stairs.

Kihyun closes the door to the bedroom with his foot and Changkyun leans over Kihyun’s shoulder to lock it (Wolfie interrupted enough times in the past to judge them from the door). And then, Changkyun is being slowly put down over the mattress, Kihyun crawling over him and kissing every spot of skin available.

“You made the bed,” Kihyun says but then kisses Changkyun’s mouth before he can reply. Changkyun leans up to deepen the kiss, hand soothing down Kihyun’s side and gripping at his hip. 

“I know, I surprise myself sometimes,” Changkyun mumbles against Kihyun's lips and sighs a little when he grinds his hips up into Kihyun’s.

“Hm,” Kihyun hums, reaching down to unbutton Changkyun’s jeans. “So…” He looks up, eyes on Changkyun’s. “How do you want me, baby?”

Nearly three years, and the way Kihyun talks when he’s like this still sends shivers down Changkyun’s spine. 

“Close. I don’t care, just close,” Changkyun says, gently pulling Kihyun in for another kiss. “I’m yours, so have me.”

“That I do.”

That he does.

Because, sometimes, things work out for the best. 

Sometimes, there’s a wall filled with photographs of friends; the Rangers who survived, a last picture together; Yoohyeon’s wedding, the only wedding Changkyun’s ever attended; a trip to the zoo in Singapore; the whole family (dog, cat, boyfriend and Changkyun himself) near a Christmas tree; a selfie from that double date with Hyungwon and Hoseok; Kihyun in his uniform next to a few colleagues; Changkyun and his Nobel Prize; and a lot of space for many more.

Because they did what needed to be done. They went out there and kicked some ass. They kicked some ass and called it a day, with the rest of their lives to enjoy the world they helped save.

And most selfishly, most wonderfully, most comfortably, they can enjoy each other, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credits song? [The Legend Begins](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqNsQclO9jQ) by MAWR & SILVERBERG.
> 
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> [Dan] Guys... this has been a wild ride, but honestly, fun as hell. Every chapter we post, there are reactions, memes, people being so nice and enthusiastic and the feedback we've gotten for this fic has inspired me in my lowest times. I remember sitting down and trying my absolute best to understand physics just for this fic, and being so proud of it when people said they loved it and just--thank y'all so much. We write changkis for us, but it's so rewarding when that happiness and enthusiasm reaches others, when our ideas touch people's hearts and skldjfkdjhgdfjh I LOVE Y'ALL SM I'LL BE IN THE #BATTLECRYAO3 TAG CRYING IF YOU NEED ME!
> 
> [Cathe] Every big fic we share with you guys feels like a whole new experience. The reaction is always different, the crowd is always different, it's overall just different every time. But honestly? So far, the reaction to BC has been wow! I've never laughed so hard checking comments and reactions before. We have tons of fun writing. So, when we see that same enthusiasm reflected on the people who read our fics we're just filled with glee, really. This is probably one of my fav fics (of all those we've written). So to all of your who've passed by and enjoyed our first try at Sci-fi, thank you so much!!! We'll return soon!!!!!


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